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 Posted: Sat Sep 29, 2007 10:41 pm Post subject: |
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| back again here. O_o is this story still running? I see a tei.
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Chinaren
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Lilith
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| Posted: Sat Oct 20, 2007 1:29 am Post subject: |
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| oops.. hehe there is a vote that won.
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Wed Feb 06, 2008 8:01 pm Post subject: |
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The next (and possibly last) chapter of this is now being written! Thank-you for your patience at the small delay between chapters.
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Wed Feb 06, 2008 8:31 pm Post subject: |
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Chapter 10. One Year Later…
Crunchyfrog sighed with satisfaction as she sat down in the mayoral study and surveyed her domain. It had taken months and months, but she’d finally managed to get all the orange in the mansion replaced with green. She’d given up trying to get the hairs out of the carpet in the end, and simply bought another one with a pile of Fables she’d found hidden in some cranny that Chinaren must have forgotten about.
She took a sip of a drink of her own concocting and sat back, fingering the envelope that Chinaren had given her when he’d left the mansion. It had today’s’ date on, which means she’d finally get to see what was inside. She put her glass down and picked up her letter opener…
There was a distant crash, followed in short order by a lot of shouting.
“What the hell?” muttered the green mayor. She put the envelope and opener down and, sliding off the chair, padded over her nicely orange free floor towards the double doors of the office.
She opened them and stuck her head out, trying to determine the source of the commotion. It seemed to be coming from the set of rooms Chinaren had apparently used as some sort of laboratory. She hadn’t done anything with the machinery she’d found in there other than cover most of it with dust sheets. Frog had a vague idea the rooms would make a good waiting area for petitioners, but it the project wasn’t high on her list, and she hadn’t started converting them yet.
Pausing only to grab a small but heavy bust of Key that was on a stand near the door, she walked warily towards the racket.
The noise increased in intensity, and she thought she could hear Chinaren’s voice screaming something, but that wasn’t possible. The pesky orange critter was away on a prolonged business trip in IS, though Frog suspected this was merely an excuse for visiting the newly constructed Whoratorium that had been constructed there.
More shouting and a crash, and she paused in her advance. Perhaps she should go and get reinforcements. Her thoughts were interrupted as the door ahead of her smashed open with a loud crash. Smoke and a rather strange smell spewed forth, and Chinaren, strangely garbed in a dirty robe, flew out.
“Come on! It’s going to blow!” he shouted back over his shoulder at someone.
“There’s too many of them!” another voice answered. Crunchyfrog frowned. It sounded like Argonaut.
“Hey you!” Chinaren noticed Crunchy. “Stop staring and help! Grab the door, we need to hold them off until it blows!”
“Blows?” Crunchy trotted forward even as another figure emerged from the smoke. It was indeed Argo. He was wearing a rather revealing thong and little else. His hair was frazzled and he was covered in soot.
“Close it! They’re right behind me!” the wild Argo shouted. He saw Crunchyfrog and grabbed the bust of Key from her and heaved it into the room, eliciting a cry of pain from beyond before slamming the door closed.
Both Chinaren and Argonaut leaned against it as several thumps came from the other side, accompanied by shouts in a language CF didn’t recognize.
“Well don’t just stand there!” said China, “help us! If they get in we’ll be overrun by vicious shepards!”
Totally confused, Crunchy joined them as the shouting rose in volume. Something hit the wood with a distinctly edged weapon sound.
“How long’s it going to take?” said Argo.
“It should have gone off by now,” said Cren, “I pushed the power level up to full. If that doesn’t overload it I don’t know what will. Maybe Muaddib reset it. Are you sure he was out cold?”
“I hit him bloody hard with that damned book of his, if that didn’t do the job, nothing will. I couldn’t see him clearly through the fog though. Where did you get that smoke bomb from anyway?”
“I have my methods,” said Chinaren, managing to look smug despite the situation. He looked at CF. “I see you managed to get back alright then. Thanks a lot for sending help,” he added in a sarcastic tone.
“What are you talking about…?” Crunchy’s question was cut short by an enormous explosion from the other side of the door that knocked them all backwards and shook several painting from the wall.
“There it goes,” said Chinaren in a satisfied voice, standing up and brushing himself down. “I knew it would work.”
“Excuse me,” said Crunchy.
“Only after I nearly got skewed by those damned crooks!” Argo said, climbing to his feet. “You cut it bloody fine.”
“I say…” CF raised a finger.
“You worry too much, you were never in any danger.”
“I had to listen to hours of bloody Golden Path rhyming! It’s pure luck I’m not deaf!”
“I SAID EXCUSE ME!!” Crunchy lost patience. “WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?”
The other two looked at her. “What?” Chinaren said.
“I said: what is going on?” Crunchy said through gritted teeth. “And why are you here?”
“Oh, I like that!” the orange figure said. “You bugger off and leave us, and it’s our fault now is it? What are you doing here anyway? This area is private property.” He started walking down the corridor.
“What do you mean I left you?” CF stood bewildered for a moment before hurrying after the two.
“You could have at least sent help back,” said Chinaren. “I’ve been bounced around from weird place to weird place, my mayoral butt has been in danger countless times. Hey, what happened to the carpets? Why is everything green? Oh no, don’t tell me I’m in another dimension again. I was sure this was the right one.” He pushed open the door the study and strode inside.
“Excuse me!” CF said, hurrying after him.
“What’s going on?” It was Chinaren’s turn to look confused. “This looks like my office, but everything’s a putrid green. And why are you here again? Are you the new cleaner? You better start with this place…”
“I’m the mayor!” said Crunchy, stamping her foot. “You will address me with respect.”
Chinaren raised an eyebrow. “Mayor? How can you be mayor? You only came into IF a few days ago.”
“I’ve been here over a year thankyouverymuch,” retorted CF.
“A year? That’s not possible,” said Chinaren. He plodded around the desk and picked up the calendar, studying it for a moment, before looking up in bewilderment. “It’s one year later!” he said.
“One year later from what?” CF asked, sitting down again on her chair.
“From when we left. Don’t you remember?”
CF shook her head. “Sorry, you’re talking gibberish, though that’s nothing unusual for you.”
“The party,” Chinaren insisted. “We were at the New Years’ party in Chinaren Hall.”
“The New Year’s party was at the Palace this year,” said CF, recalling a night of heavy festivity with rather large amounts of booze, even by Council standards. “You were there, remember? You dressed up in Lily’s dress and did the can-can on the dining room table.”
“I’d have liked to have seen that,” said Argo.
“And you were there too, I saw you singing some disgusting song with Messy.”
“I mean the other year,” Chinaren said. “Wait a moment. You said I was here?”
“Yes, I just said.”
“When did I come back?”
“From what? You’re still in IS as far as I know, enjoying the fleshpots down there no doubt,” CF said, taking a sip of her drink and rubbing her head.
“And what are you doing here?”
“I’m the mayor now. You were the one who convinced me to run for it.” Crunchy frowned. “Remind me to get you for that someday too,” she added darkly.
Chinaren shook his head. “Doesn’t sound like me,” he said. “Didn’t I leave myself any kind of message?”
“No…” CF started, before her gaze fell upon the envelope she’d been going to open a few minutes earlier. “Well…”
“Well?”
The mayor heaved a deep sigh and picked up the slim package. “Chinaren, this time’s Chinaren I mean, gave me this before he left for IS. He told me not to open it until today.”
“And you didn’t? That’s very trusting of you.” Chinaren raised an eyebrow.
“He also said it was booby trapped with a time lock.” CF shrugged. “It should be de-activated now though.”
Argo took a step back. “I’ll just stand over here whilst you open it then,” he said.
“Better open it then,” Chinaren said.
Crunchy nodded and, using her letter opener, ripped the envelope open and tipped the contents onto her desk. There was a note, and another, smaller, envelope inside. The smaller one was addressed to Chinaren, and had ‘Private’ and ‘Confidential’ and ‘Secret’ all over it.
Crunchy picked up the note and opened it. She read aloud.
‘Greetings!’ she read. ‘This is the ghost of Chinaren past! Speaking from beyond time! Woooo.’ She rolled her eyes and carried on. ‘No doubt a handsome orange time traveler is now standing next to you, along with his trusty sidekick.”
“Hey! I’m no sidekick!” Argo complained.
CF ignored him and carried on. ‘You must help me (from the past) get to the Exorcisor machine in Chinaren Hall. From there he, that is to say I, can make some adjustments and go back to his (my) proper time. Don’t worry about the clone, the temporal stress of the return journey will be too much for him, and he won’t make it back. (Oh, don’t read that part out loud).’
“What clone?” Crunchy said, pausing in her recital.
“Hey!” cried Argo. “I’m not going to hang about here and be disintegrated! I’m off!” So saying he ran out of the room, hair flying wildly about his head.
CF and Chinaren looked at each other. Chinaren shrugged. “Carry on then.”
Crunchy did. ‘I’ve left a note to my past self. It’s important only he reads it, or it may affect the very stability of the fabric of space time or some such, and could result in the destruction of the universe as we know it. There are also some results of some sporting events, may as well make a bit out of this whilst we’re at it, and a couple of plot ideas.’
CF frowned at Chinaren. “Typical.”
Ren smiled and picked his own note up. “Is there anymore?” he asked, opening it.
‘There’s just one more thing you’ll have to overcome,’ CF read. ‘whatever you do, heed my words!’
“There’s always something,” Chinaren said. “What’s the warning then?”
CF looked down. ‘It’s this…’
>>>>>>
A little late perhaps, but better late than never eh?
Didn’t quite get to finish it then. So, what’s the danger in the note? Let’s hear your ideas!!
<<<<<<
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Mephistopheles
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| Posted: Thu Feb 07, 2008 4:17 am Post subject: |
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hmm....'If argonaut escapes, the world will fall as he will meet himself and turn evil, destroying all of humanity as he believes himself to be the world's greatest evil. You must not let the clone get away!'
entertaining as always cren! few minor tidbits that seemed inconsequential, so i am not mentioning them. Too humorous to critique. 
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If I wasn't, then why would I say I am?
I don't know, it's just the way I am.
eminem
without the threat of death,
there is no reason to live at all
marilyn manson
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Lilith
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NeverNeverGirl
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| Posted: Mon Feb 11, 2008 2:10 am Post subject: |
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I think that Ren needs to meet all the Newbs that signed up since he 'left', that should keep him occupied.
interesting story - glad to see it moving...
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The White Blacksmith
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| Posted: Sun Feb 17, 2008 8:47 am Post subject: |
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I say that if China meets any of the newbs before his time, there will be a paradox, caused by Chinaren gaining foreknowledge of the newbs. Or something.
Anyway, as long as he gets to the machine without anyone else seeing him, it'll be ok. Unfortunatly Froggo's thrown it out, and they have to go down to the Ifdump, home of all failed storygames, to find it.
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Thu May 15, 2008 4:26 am Post subject: |
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Righty Ho. I think that's long enough for the suggestion phase. Poll is up!
Engorge the cream bun of voting.
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Tue Oct 21, 2008 4:49 am Post subject: |
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Sheesh, 5 months and it's still a tie!
Ah well. ~Picks winner randomly~
Mmm. Okay.
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Tue Oct 21, 2008 5:33 am Post subject: |
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Chapter 11. The Last Time?
“Oh.”
“Oh? What do you mean… Oh?” Chinaren peered over the Frogs’ arms and read the final part of the letter.
“Oh,” he said.
“If Argoclone escapes, the world will fall, as he will meet himself and turn evil, destroying all of humanity,” He read the line out again, just to be sure he hadn’t mistaken it the first time. It remained stubbornly the same.
“Just what I need in my first term,” CF said.
“You going to run again then?”
“Probably, sometime in the future, after a rest,” she replied. “But that’s for another time. What are we going to do about this?”
“I don’t believe it,” Chinaren said, shaking his head.
“You wrote it!” Frog said, shaking the letter.
“Exactly, would you trust something I said?”
“Good point.” CF lowered the paper. “So… what?”
“Let’s forget about the clone and just get me back to my time. From there I’ll think of a cunning plan to save the world. Again.”
“Again? When did you save the world before?”
“Can’t tell you,” Chinaren said, tapping the side of his nose and winking. “Or I’d have to kill you.”
Crunchy rolled her eyes. “I don’t want to know,” she said. “Come on we should…”
“…move these things out. Hello? Chinaren? What are you doing here?”
“Whu…?”
“I didn’t see you come in. You using some kind of secret tunnel again?” the man said. “I thought Crunchy sealed all of those up.”
“What the hell is going on here?” Chinaren clapped his hands to his head in a dramatic gesture.
“I’m just moving out. As I’m not running again, I thought I’d clear some junk.” The man, who had an enormous moustache, picked up a box and dumped it down on the mayoral desk.
Chinaren looked around. The office was pretty much the same as it was a moment ago, though when he looked closer, it did appear to be a little more worn.
“Okay,” he said, holding up a finger. “Firstly, who the hell are you? Secondly, where’s CrunchyFrog, and thirdly, where am I?”
The stranger looked at him. “Have you been at the Old Stoat again?”
“Just humor me.”
The man sighed and let go of the box. “I’m Waxoflot, mayor,” he bowed slightly. “CF is out on the campaign trail last I looked, and you are here, standing in front of me and being more confusing than usual.”
“She is running again. How about that?” China muttered, and then turned to face the outgoing incumbent. “Waxy eh? You’d be new then?”
“About seven or eight months I guess. Time flies.”
“You’ve no idea,” Chinaren muttered. He looked around. “Okay. When did you last see me?”
“Actually, you’ve not been around much lately. Chinaren Inc. establishments have been standing empty for the most part. Chinren Halls’ garden’s growing weeds.”
“That can’t be good.”
The mayor shrugged. “Meh.”
“How about Arganout?”
“Him? Hasn’t been around since Crunchy’s reign as mayor.”
“That can’t be good,” Ren repeated.
“Never really knew him.”
“Okay then. Well. How’s time been? In general I mean?”
“Time?”
“You know, goes forward, tick tock and all that.”
“Well…” the mayor twiddled with his moustache as he frowned, thinking. “There were those timequakes six or so months ago, but Key made some kind of offering to the Gods and they settled down. We did lose a few hours I think. It’s a bit hard to tell really.”
“Mmm.” Chinaren scratched his head. If Argonaut had met Argoclone the last time, or the time he was here before at least, when CF was new as mayor, then he was too late. But why hadn’t the world ended as he’d warned in his letter?
“Knew I couldn’t trust myself,” he mumbled.
“What?”
“Oh, nothing.” Chinaren sighed and looked about. “So… Do you have any old sporting papers lying around?”
“No. Now, are you going to help carry stuff, or just stand here and annoy me?”
“Neither, I need to get to Chinaren Hall. Later SnacksAlot.”
“That’s… Oh, never mind.”
Chinaren waddled out of the mayoral mansion, which looked a little more chipped and aged than he remembered it. He shook his head. Whatever had happened to IF in the future, he was out of place, out of time. Still, with the Argoclone gone, he was risking the timeline more by staying here.
With a last look around, he slinked out of the door, heading off to Chinaren Hall and his lab.
~
Not very far away, two figures were hunched over a large table, upon which were spread thousands of drawings. The drawings were detailed, beautifully colored, and extremely disturbing to look at.
“Nearly done,” one of the artists said, putting a quill to one side and stretching.
“Yes, only a few hundred more of these and we’ll be able to start the ritual. And to think, if I hadn’t bumped into you all those months ago we’d never have thought of this magic.”
“Indeed, we’ll have to thank Chinaren, before we kill him and everyone else.”
“Thank him. Oh yes, I’ll thank him alright,” one of them said, eying a white thong hanging on the stone wall nearby. “I’ll give him a death he’ll never forget! Mwahahahahaha!”
“Indeed! Mwhaahaha!” The other joined in the merriment.
The laughter of the two insane artists echoed through the night, out of the small tent in the shanty town outside the great registration wall, making a nearby lady of the night pause for a moment.
“What was that?” she asked.
“Who cares? Let’s get back to the business at hand,” her customer said.
“Sure thing ducks. Now, where were we?”
The customer, who was clad in long robes of true purple, nodded and continued the negotiation...
“Twenty Fables, as long as you throw in a bit of ‘back door’ action…”
The End?
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NeverNeverGirl
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| Posted: Tue Oct 21, 2008 2:30 pm Post subject: |
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YAY Chinaren!
does this explain the absence of the Ren-esque touch in If of late?
And the True Purple robes? you have me wondering...
layers upon layers ..
WOOT
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| Poll. Finally. |
| 'If argonaut escapes, the world will fall as he will meet himself and turn evil, destroying all of humanity as he believes himself to be the world's greatest evil. You must not let the clone get away!' |
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33% |
[ 2 ] |
| Ren needs to meet all the Newbs that signed up since he 'left' |
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33% |
[ 2 ] |
| If China meets any of the newbs before his time, there will be a paradox, caused by Chinaren gaining foreknowledge of the newbs. Or something. |
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33% |
[ 2 ] |
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| Total Votes : 6 |
| Who Voted: Chinaren, Crossfire, Lilith, Mastermind, NeverNeverGirl, The White Blacksmith |
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heheh
