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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Topics: 340 Posts: 8882 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends
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Posted: Fri Oct 26, 2007 7:56 am Post subject: Rise of Shadows chapter 7 - Enemy Within. |
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Chapter 7 – Enemy Within.
{removed} _________________ Neil Hartley Books.
My Amazon page.
Last edited by Chinaren on Mon Jul 19, 2010 6:08 am; edited 2 times in total
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Posted: Fri Oct 26, 2007 12:54 pm Post subject: |
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Topics: 340 Posts: 8882 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends
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Posted: Fri Oct 26, 2007 4:57 pm Post subject: |
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Zephyr wrote: | Hmm… well, we could bend over and kiss our butts goodbye… seems a little omnipressive to me, but well, start by killing the commander and taking command of the ship! Then nuke the planet, then destroy the dragnet, then clear the ship of all infected then… |
LOL! The trouble is, if they kill the Director, the Corp. crew aren't going to believe them!
Good line though, I think I'll use it in the next chapter. _________________ Neil Hartley Books.
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Mephistopheles Respected Citizen
Joined: 24 May 2007 Topics: 16 Posts: 612 Location: Not where I want to be. Items Legends
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Posted: Fri Oct 26, 2007 4:59 pm Post subject: |
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hmm, finally another chappy, and we sit in a hopeless situation at the end of it. well, there has to be something that can be implemented as a weapon. maybe a pen? or a glass or something? so long as the commander is the only one, and he shows his infection by killing at least one crew member, he should be able to take control of the ship, or at least have Vanessa on his side. After that though? i have to agree with Zeph. Kill the planet, the dragnet, the drones, and then self destruct he ship that they are on, after transmitting an emergency signal, of course, that warns the galaxy of infected humes and the ability of psychics to pick 'em out. Will think on this a bit further. _________________ Cause I am, whatever you say I am
If I wasn't, then why would I say I am?
I don't know, it's just the way I am.
eminem
without the threat of death,
there is no reason to live at all
marilyn manson
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Topics: 340 Posts: 8882 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends
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Posted: Fri Oct 26, 2007 5:11 pm Post subject: |
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Ah! Provoke a fight you mean and make the Director use his strange powers? (before killing him of course). Not a bad idea there... _________________ Neil Hartley Books.
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algu95 Citizen
Joined: 04 Mar 2007 Topics: 0 Posts: 265 Location: Trudging around in Allwhere Items Legends
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Posted: Sat Oct 27, 2007 12:25 am Post subject: |
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Hmmm-hm-hmmmmmmmmm...
Not a bad chappy here China... But no idea for a DP at this point. _________________ Yes, no, what, hello?
Falcon Lord, a linear story by algu!
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D-Lotus Venerable IFian
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Posted: Sat Oct 27, 2007 1:56 pm Post subject: |
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I'm kinda dissapointed that Cole became infected. I envisioned a story in which the two differing parties had to unite in order to defeat the common enemy. Oh well.
If Cole is infected, then we know that he probably lied about closing off the breach and rounding up the infected. Which means that the entire corporate ship will become controlled by the infected at some point.
At this point, Max is nearly powerless. There's almost nothing he can do to stop the rise of the shadows. At least he can save his own life, though. I agree that picking a fight and somehow exposing the commander is a good idea, but Max has no weapons in hand, and it might be difficult to make Cole fall into a rage.
Maybe the psychic has some sort of power that can make Cole's head blow up? Dunno. Maybe the psychic can use her powers to steal a gun away from someone and then shoot Cole.
Quote: | “And now I assume I’m going to go out of the nearest airlock,” said Ben, eyes narrowing. |
btw, who is Ben? _________________ Chapter 5: The Rendezvous
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LordoftheNight Revered IFian
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Posted: Sat Oct 27, 2007 4:52 pm Post subject: |
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I can't really remember - and am too lazy to go back - what we know about the Infected.
Could you give us (or maybe just me) a quick recap on how they differ from uninfected humans? _________________ Punishment leads to Fear. Fear leads to Obedience. Obedience leads to Freedom. Therefore, Punishment leads to Freedom.
Ave Dominus Nox
A Fronte Praecipitium a Tergo Lupi
Blood Bowl
Scraping the Barrel
A Tale of Four Swords
Passion
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Topics: 340 Posts: 8882 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends
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Posted: Sat Oct 27, 2007 5:13 pm Post subject: |
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D-Lotus wrote: | I'm kinda dissapointed that Cole became infected. I envisioned a story in which the two differing parties had to unite in order to defeat the common enemy. Oh well. |
Strangely enough D, that's exactly what I had in mind when I started this. And who knows? Maybe it will still happen. I admit, this twist if something I thought of at the last moment. I thought it would add a little more intruige* into the tale.
D-Lotus wrote: |
Quote: | “And now I assume I’m going to go out of the nearest airlock,” said Ben, eyes narrowing. |
btw, who is Ben? |
Ooops! Sorry, I've been going over one of my older SGames and editing it, and must have become confused! (Sector 507: Captain Ben Granger).
*I just can't spell that. _________________ Neil Hartley Books.
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algu95 Citizen
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Posted: Sun Oct 28, 2007 5:15 am Post subject: |
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lordofthenight wrote: | I can't really remember - and am too lazy to go back - what we know about the Infected.
Could you give us (or maybe just me) a quick recap on how they differ from uninfected humans? |
Well, Lordy, it is quite obvious.
First, the most obvious. They have super strength, stamina, speed, agility, resilience and other Superman-like abilities.
Second, they are kinda 'possesed', though I believe Chinaren used a different word somewhere...
Third, they give off a 'black-hole aura' that physcics* can detect, which seperates them from other humans.
There are probably more differences, but if so, I can't remember them...
*Can't bloody spell that... _________________ Yes, no, what, hello?
Falcon Lord, a linear story by algu!
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Lebrenth Honored Citizen
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Posted: Sun Oct 28, 2007 10:35 am Post subject: |
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Intrigue. Psychics. That's how they're spelled.
Other attributes of the possessed are: Fourth, they can freeze or possess with a mere touch. Fifth, they crave warmth. Sixth, they are an ancient race awakening from very deep hibernation. Seventh, they can communicate in "whispers", which may be telepathy or maybe a manifestation of their ethereal nature, i.e.: Quote: | At the same time he thought he heard something, almost like someone whispering, very, very gently in his ear.
“We will Rise!” |
Perhaps we can use heat signatures to detect them. If they freeze people, perhaps the temperature of the possessed is perceiveably lower. If we can get the doctors or scientists to find a way to detect possession, we can insist on scanning or examining all of the senior staff. When Cole evades, it will bring suspicion and we'll force him to expose himself as possessed. That he retains his knowledge and personality while being possessed is unnerving. I wonder if he even knows he's possessed.
But we must also consider, we don't know that he's possessed. In fact, it might even be the psychic who is possessed and is now trying to trick us into killing Cole. She's been far more exposed to the possessed than Cole has. We should suspect her. Another reason to find another way to detect the possessed.
I don't imagine the characters would be thinking this way, but WE should consider a spiritual source of the menace. That is, the possession is like ghosts possessing the living, so perhaps there is a source of their power that can be attacked. If they are ghosts, we could find their bodies and try destroying them. I believe we know where the outbreak originated, and it seems within our means to investigate safely (if we can just get a ship without possessed on it!).
Considering how quickly the Dragnet was taken over, we really don't stand a chance on the Samantha. We need a brand spanking new ship, preferably small with a FTL drive.
But here's a mystery, if it's so easy for the possessed to spread, why hasn't Cole just run around the table tagging everyone? Or just tag the security guards and have them blast the whole senior staff right there? Is there some sort of limitation to their ability to possess? And what about their incredible hunger for heat? Why hasn't Cole been freezing people? Questions for Max Blue to keep an eye for, I guess.
_________________ Please visit my Library of completed works.
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Posted: Sun Oct 28, 2007 3:37 pm Post subject: |
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Topics: 340 Posts: 8882 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends
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Posted: Sun Oct 28, 2007 10:48 pm Post subject: |
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That's a great post Lebby! So much so, I'm going to sponsor a Chinaren Hall 'Great comment' award! (Which is now in your honors and will soon be up in the Hall of Heroes). _________________ Neil Hartley Books.
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Smee Revered IFian
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Posted: Mon Oct 29, 2007 3:58 am Post subject: |
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Yes, I'm very wary of assuming the Psychic is correct. At first she thought it was some kind of mental shielding she spotted on that first person. If this is technology the Corporation have developed, then it's almost certain Cole would have it too. The Corporation seem to be technologically advanced in a number of areas, including large disdain for Fleet's current bio technology, security systems, drones, coffee etc. Psychic shielding isn't a great leap of faith.
I like Lebby's idea of looking for a more scientific way of detecting them - the heat sensors. It might even be possible to do this via internal sensors, as this ship seems fairly advanced. Cole said the outbreak was watched - by camera's I assume - to ensure they knew all the momevments and had locked down the whole area.
I think Max wants some answers, and also some excuse to get away from the ship. I think he should suggest and volunteer for an 'away mission' to the surface. Investigate, and see if he can find the source of the outbreak. I'm sure Cole can equip him with some decent weaponry.
Good writing Chin. _________________ The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the Devil's own Satanic Herd!
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Lebrenth Honored Citizen
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Posted: Mon Oct 29, 2007 8:43 am Post subject: |
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Thanks a lot Chinaren! I'm rather fond of medals and always wanted one of yours. I'm glad you gave it to me before you had a chance to read this:
CRITICS FROM HELL: "Rise of Shadows" Critique _________________ Please visit my Library of completed works.
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Posted: Mon Oct 29, 2007 3:41 pm Post subject: |
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I would still have given you it Lebs, and I thoroughly enjoyed your CfH review too! _________________ Neil Hartley Books.
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techeddreamer Guest
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Posted: Mon Nov 05, 2007 12:42 am Post subject: |
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this my furst try at this kind of action to get to play ?
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Posted: Thu Nov 08, 2007 11:50 pm Post subject: |
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Thank-you for some excellent comments and ideas here people. The poll is now up, detect the infected of voting. _________________ Neil Hartley Books.
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Posted: Thu Nov 15, 2007 6:02 pm Post subject: |
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~Sigh~ 4 votes seems to be my lot lately. Anyway, I've started the next chapter (not sure when I'll have chance to actually finish it mind) so the poll is closed.
Thanks for reading, and I hope the next installment will be out soon, if RL gives me half an hour break. _________________ Neil Hartley Books.
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Mephistopheles Respected Citizen
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Posted: Sat Nov 17, 2007 4:57 pm Post subject: |
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sorry for missing your poll china. try to not to let it happen again. _________________ Cause I am, whatever you say I am
If I wasn't, then why would I say I am?
I don't know, it's just the way I am.
eminem
without the threat of death,
there is no reason to live at all
marilyn manson
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You cannot post new topics in this forum You cannot reply to topics in this forum You cannot edit your posts in this forum You cannot delete your posts in this forum You cannot vote in polls in this forum
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