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The Dark
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 Posted: Sat Mar 29, 2008 1:05 am Post subject: The Dark chapter 12 - Bitches |
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The following contains nasty stuff and nasty language. You’d better not going crying to your mummy if you don’t listen to this warning.
Chapter 12. Bitches.
[color=black]
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Last edited by The Dark on Wed Jun 04, 2008 6:11 am; edited 2 times in total
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The Dark
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| Posted: Sat Mar 29, 2008 1:14 am Post subject: |
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The decision point here, is not just what to say, but to suggest a plan to the comish. It is not sure now what she or Prime knows, but Gloom must make himself useful to them, or it's sausage chopping time.
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Cyberworm
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| Posted: Sat Mar 29, 2008 5:04 am Post subject: |
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OH MY GOD!
*bows down* You did it! I's a wonderful chappy! And the time they said they had to amputate! *holds ribs laughing* You're the man!
Now, for the DP...
Maybe he should mention those old magic books? Say that The Dark is summoned, and who is summoning him? That even she could become The Dark at any moment?
That would make an impact on her. Maybe.
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Slit and Slide
One man's journey through the possibilities of solving what he says is a murder. What was it? Try not to forget.
Beyond Good and Evil
Could it be that being good is not good at all?
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D-Lotus
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| Posted: Sat Mar 29, 2008 12:13 pm Post subject: |
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| Quote: | | Gloom was dragged along behind by several of the black suited guards. Their faces hidden behind protective masks |
...were hidden.
Nice chapter, especially if you're a fan of torture scenes, which I'm not. But nice. Even the doctors in this city are sick bastards.
The DP, once again, ain't easy. I like Cyberworm's idea, though. Tell Ice about those secret books, and then go get them. That's the plan, get the magical books. Then, once that has been accomplished, summon The Dark in some kind of controlled environment in order to find out precisely what this evil spirit stuff's all about.
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 Chapter 5: The Rendezvous 
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The Dark
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| Posted: Sat Mar 29, 2008 5:37 pm Post subject: |
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Sick indeed D-Lotus. Sick indeed.
The line mentioned could indeed benefit from a re-work, though perhaps not quite as you suggested. Still, thank-you for the feedback, which is always welcome.
The Dark is glad you enjoyed the chapter, and thanks you for your suggestions. Are there any more?
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NeverNeverGirl
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| Posted: Mon Mar 31, 2008 12:49 am Post subject: |
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Dont tell Ice a damn thing!
She is being way to nice i dont buy it for a moment. SHes a tough as nails bitch and now she is all 'i'm sharing with you?" BS! Shes working for Malice and cause he doesnt know where the books are hes having Prime make nice with gloom in the hope he can lead him to it!
Tell her nothing and go get the books! SUMMON THE DARK AND GO FROM THERE!
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Crunchyfrog
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| Posted: Tue Apr 01, 2008 12:02 pm Post subject: |
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Had Ice actually TOLD him when she called him in that it was for briefing, he might have done so.
What bugs me is that when she called him in with the intention of briefing him, she must have known exactly what happened to him that time when he lost a day on Crush...
I'd challenge her with that, and say that if she can't explain it, he's not going to tell her the vital information he just found out at Shock's place.
He should allude to already knowing how to summon The Dark, and see what reaction he gets - he'll get a better idea of whether she's telling the truth or not.
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Tue Apr 01, 2008 5:19 pm Post subject: |
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Ha! Nice chapter there Dark.
| Quote: | | What bugs me is that when she called him in with the intention of briefing him, she must have known exactly what happened to him that time when he lost a day on Crush... |
I don't know if she would have. As I read it, she just sent him off to investigate stuff, and probably didn't know what he or maybe even Shock was doing. It's a little hard to know though.
Anyway, DP. Yes, don't trust her. She's the Ice bitch remember. Still, maybe tell her a bit about the Dark, it would help clear Glooms name, a bit anyway, and he needs to say something.
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| Posted: Tue Apr 01, 2008 10:14 pm Post subject: |
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Mephistopheles
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| Posted: Wed Apr 02, 2008 3:45 am Post subject: |
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nice wire brush usage, reminds of this time that i used a hairbrush placed in a very strategic place on a woman er...wrong place for that tale. well writ chappy. as for the dp...why was the police force brought in to rescue Gloom when the AI was supposed to get a hold of Prime? If Ice can't be trusted, why is Gloom being patched up? If she is in cahoots with Shock, why not just kill him now?
Perhaps it is best to say something like, 'Look, i got some really good info from my little excursion, and i just need a little time, a young priest and an old priest, and things should be honky dorry.' see how she reacts to that before going on any further. If all else fails, take the chance of trusting her, and tell her everything, cause the way i see it, Gloom ain't got any other choice. He remains silent, he gets arrested and hung, if she can't be trusted, he dies. if she can be trusted...who knows?
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Cause I am, whatever you say I am
If I wasn't, then why would I say I am?
I don't know, it's just the way I am.
eminem
without the threat of death,
there is no reason to live at all
marilyn manson
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Smee
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| Posted: Thu Apr 03, 2008 2:39 am Post subject: |
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*Steps into the forum, carefully, and looks about in the dim light.*
Ahem, yes. Seems I'm now involved with these, er, events. Very happy to be here, yes.
*A flicker of movement in a dark corner. Without warning an intense flash of bright light shoots out from raised fingertips, illuminating an unconcerned rat.*
Gah! Damn vermin! Can't you keep this place clean! How am I to offer my advice when I'm jumping at every tap on a c'rete floor! Give me the fantasy forest any day.
But here I am, and looking around, it seems I'm lacking any immediate exit.
This officer... Gloom. I find myself without sympathy, and can't help feel castration might assist his concentration. However he is definately the lesser of many evils so far and against the odds, has been doing what he can to stop the greater threat.
So how to persuade Icy to let him continue... that seems simple enough. She believes he's been 'bumbling' about and causing trouble. But regardless, he managed to get most of the story behind Shock's activities before the cavalry showed up. Presumably she doesn't know it all, and he can demonstrate his progress on the case.
Something along the lines of ... "You want to know what Shock up to? Well I know. He's dealing with some mystic-arcane shit. The freak-show with the white mask is controlled by Shock, an assassin called up from fuck-knows where with some old books. It requires a host body. Shock's son seems to be the typical host. Or was."
~
It really is an excellent story so far The Dark. Very well done. Keep it up.
Happy Writing 
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The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the Devil's own Satanic Herd!
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The Dark
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| Posted: Thu Apr 03, 2008 3:38 am Post subject: |
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The Dark is honoured to have the legendary Smee visit his little Story. Welcome Smee!
The Dark has constructed the poll for your use. Please do so, and The Dark shall continue...
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NeverNeverGirl
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| Posted: Thu Apr 03, 2008 3:00 pm Post subject: |
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okay i have to reserve my vote as every instinct in me is demanding i vote for the midget donkey thing...  i will wait to see whats goign where before i decide... 
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Mephistopheles
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| Posted: Fri Apr 04, 2008 2:28 am Post subject: |
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Messy has voted, and is intrigued to see where the donkey fits in with the midget and lengths of rubber hose, though several interesting positions and acts do come to mind.
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Cause I am, whatever you say I am
If I wasn't, then why would I say I am?
I don't know, it's just the way I am.
eminem
without the threat of death,
there is no reason to live at all
marilyn manson
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NeverNeverGirl
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| Posted: Sat Apr 05, 2008 1:20 am Post subject: |
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The Ne has voted to. She is unable to contain herself from voting Donkey.
The Ne is sorry.
The Ne is also sure you will make it Gloom saying it as some sort of joke - The Ne challenges you not to.
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| Posted: Sat Apr 05, 2008 5:08 am Post subject: |
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| sorry dark, but it looks like a three sided case of voting.
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| Ice bitch! |
| Tell her about the ancient books. |
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0% |
[ 0 ] |
| Tell her about the books, find them, do a summoning. |
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33% |
[ 4 ] |
| I'm telling you nothing bitch! (Then go and get the books and do a summoning) |
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8% |
[ 1 ] |
| What do you know? Tell me something, I'll tell you something. Nice and easy. |
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8% |
[ 1 ] |
| I'm going to need a midget, a donkey, and lengths of rubber tubing... |
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25% |
[ 3 ] |
| You want the truth? Shocks up to some freaky shit. Real freaky. It all started when... |
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25% |
[ 3 ] |
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| Total Votes : 12 |
| Who Voted: Chinaren, Crunchyfrog, Cyberworm, D-Lotus, Lilith, LordoftheNight, Mastermind, Mephistopheles, NeverNeverGirl, Smee |
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