Search      Members      Groups      Profile      Favorites      RSS      Register      Log in
The Book Of Life - diary/ story of an insane girl

 
(currently a favorite of 0 users)
   Storygames Home -> Stasis Hall - Completed or archived Storygames -> The Vault
View previous topic :: View next topic  

Author Message
silvermist
Tourist



Joined: 22 Jul 2008
Topics: 3
Posts: 11


Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Sat Dec 13, 2008 12:07 pm    Post subject: The Book Of Life - diary/ story of an insane girl Reply with quote

Chapter 1 misery


My life has been nothing but a bunch of misery and misfortune.
many of us have suffered but not as many has seen what there is to life.. yet not even have felt it. every second. every minute. every waking moment of silence.

even when we are closing our eyes.. in the dark were not alone.

HOW IT ALL BEGAN


do you know how ..... fathers cheat on their wifes... well as a 12year old girl
of course i would know maybe if he was never stupid enough to do it in the first place.
my mother was going to florida to visit her family and come back on saturday or sunday. and my dad invited some lady called ms. kathleen....
but since i hate her i call her ms. kackaleen.


anyway. she had 2 daughters.. named jasmine. and whitney.
and my dad wanted whitney to be my mentor.
i dont need a mentor. he needs one. anyway.... back to the story.

she wanted to have a cookout... * witch* i know right she's such a .... never mind.

me and sis invited our dads mother .... grandma... and ..

before my mother left to go to florida.. she told me to tell her if ms.kathleen was there

my mother called her that lady ..... but i knew who she was talking about.

right after my mother left. my dad said not to tell her if the lady was there.

my dad,.... he used to be the only person i look up to.

my mom... the one..... who i can trust sometimes. but know that she will alway's be my mother.


i have to make a choice... tell ,..... dont tell.

tell

dont tell

tell

dont tell

TELL

DONT TELL

Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author Message
sparta12
Honored Citizen



Joined: 24 Jan 2005
Topics: 28
Posts: 1201
Location: Victoria, Australia

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Sat Dec 13, 2008 1:49 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

It's okay but there are a lot of Punctual and Grammatical errors. You have to remember to Capitalize and I'd heavily recommend in being more descriptive with your story. It seems like this entire chapter is just Story-Telling Time over a Campfire.
_________________
May have accidentally come up with a new Sci-Fi Storygame.


Last edited by sparta12 on Sun Dec 14, 2008 1:10 am; edited 1 time in total
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail
Author Message
silvermist
Tourist



Joined: 22 Jul 2008
Topics: 3
Posts: 11


Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Sun Dec 14, 2008 12:25 am    Post subject: chapter 2 Reply with quote

Chapter 2 The choice


i chose not to tell ..... because.... well i didnt have a reason. i loved both of my parents equally shouldn't everybody. on the day of the cook out. our grandma came late.. in the after noon.. but before the cook out, ms.kackaleen's daughters took me and my sister to ihop. and i had my cell phone with me.... so i went to the bathroom.
and called mom.

" hi mom im at i hop. " i said.

" your dad actually took you to i hop?" my mother asked.

" n-no .. actually uhh" i said speaking slowly, and a bit nervous.

" then who are you there with?" my mother asked sternly.

" um.. i'm with jasmine and whitney" i said. as if i felt ashamed.... i did.

" that lady's daughters.... ms.kathleen's daughters?" my mom asked quickly , curiously.

" y-yes" i said.

" so mom how is your vacation?" i said quickly changing the subject.

" hold on kayla i'll talk to you later i need to call your dad." my mom said...
without hesitating she hung up..

oh crap what the hell did i do. dad's gonna kill me for this..

after we ate and they drove me and sis to our house. my dad let us in the door.

he looked at me sternly...

" what did you tell mom?" my dad asked quickly.
his eyebrows narrow. his eyes fixed on mine. i could hear my heart beat louder than i heard my self.

" n-nothing" .... i lied.
and i ran up to my room ask quick as possible.

my dad came up stairs and asked once again....

" what did you tell your mom?" he asked and making his face seem a little more calmer.

" did you tell her ms.kathleen is staying over here?" he asked.

" y-yes" i said. very quietly that he could barely hear me.

then there was a long uncomfortable moment of silence.

" didnt i tell you that if you told your mom that .. that we would split apart.?" he said.

" y-yes" i said not even looking at him. after that he walked out.

then grandma arrived. gave here a big hug... and went down the basement to eat.
after i did. i noticed i was alone.. there was still some cooking that neede to be done. so i went up stairs.

jasmine and whitney said that they could handle it. so me and sis sat on the couch and watched t.v after the show that we were watching ended the commercial came on. nobody pays attention to those.

so after i stopped looking at the t.v i heard yelling in the kitchen.

" GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!"

i looked at my sister. " who is yelling like that?" i asked.

" oh that's mommy ..." my sis said. calmly.

" she's here!" i aksed with amusement but not for a good reason.

" yeah" my sis said.
i jumped of the couch. and ran in the kitchen.

" GET OUT!" my mother screamed.

" SHE DOES NOT HAVE TO LEAVE!" my dad screamed back.

" im calling the police." my mom said.

i knew already what happened. but i acted as if i did not know... and was still the little girl they thought i was.

" hi mommy." i said welcoming here and tried to give her a hug... she pushed me away. my feelings hurt... she dialed the number.

grandma... acting as if she was stupid or somthing..

" i didn't even know her name was kathleen!" my grandma said... alway's making things so complicated. the police arrived.... my momther and father talking to them
nope nobody got arrested but.. they made my mother stay up stairs. and my dad's

"new family" have the basement and the main floor till they left.
my mom in tears. and me just feeling ashamed.

my sis i dont know how she's feeling. after the cookout was over... they left but while they waited in the car.... dad packing up some of his stuff.
he was in the kitchen...

" hi dad ........ where are you going?" i asked very very sadly

" kayla, things are gonna be different now." he said without even looking at me.

he left out the door. a tear fell from my face. my heart pounded harder and harder
the more farther away my dad was away from me. i felt like i was gonna die..... die from weakness... and from .... being heartbroken.... both my mom and me.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author Message
snow tiger
Resident



Joined: 07 Dec 2008
Topics: 7
Posts: 56
Location: u wish

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Sat Dec 20, 2008 11:15 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

good story. interactive and interesting
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author Message
silvermist
Tourist



Joined: 22 Jul 2008
Topics: 3
Posts: 11


Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Sun Dec 28, 2008 8:26 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

CHAPTER 3 the pain


After he left... he left with most of his things. and all of my love for him.
i was devistated. and it was all my falt. it seems when something is my falt everyone gets hurt including me.

so me and my sister watched some t.v and checked if mom was ok. but she said she was alright. but she lied ofcourse, because she was crying.

and grandma left way before my dad left. taking his side. me , mom and sister would have to bare the pain.. and continue with our lives. as if their was nothing wrong.

"kayla , can you get me some tea?" my mom said faintly.

"uh-huh" i said walking into the kitchen.
all this had happened.. in about 30 minutes .

it didnt suprise me not one bit. but the thought. that i know what that lady was doing. and i acted nice to her as if i was stupid. and earlier my mother asked me why i treated her with respect. i felt ashamed , 12 years old. and breaking everyones heart.

in the end why does the enemy get to have all the glory.
and leave the good guys , the more unfortunate ones to ..... to ,, well ya know.
to be left in pain. like a hurt animal on the side of the street that got hit by a car.

yeah it hurts... intentionally for the animal.

but for me it hurts inside even more.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Display posts from previous:   
Reply to topic   printer-friendly view    Storygames Home -> The Vault All times are GMT - 8 Hours
Page 1 of 1
Jump to:  
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum


Powered by phpBB © 2001, 2002 phpBB Group. Forum design by mtechnik, customized by City of IF
All site content © City of IF or the respective storygame authors.   Terms of use
Home   Book   Storygames   FAQ   Greek myth   About   Policies