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DeadManWalking
Duke of the Mostly Dead
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 Posted: Mon Apr 06, 2009 5:50 pm Post subject: Chapter 5 |
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Sorry for the wait peoples. Lots of stuff in RL and pure laziness plays a factor. I'm sure so many of my readers were disappointed. All four of you.
And here it is. Sorry for the lateness again. Also, its a bit short by my standards. And the poll option that won last time hasn't really happened yet.“You know what? Screw this.” The looks on Raul and Corbie’s faces didn’t show half the surprise I was feeling in my own head. What was I saying?
My mouth continued talking, ignoring the brakes my mind tried to apply. “All I want to do is finish this and go home. So just buzz off willya?”
Raul’s hands disappeared ominously under his cloak, while Corbie started sputtering,
“But we can help you! We want you gone as much as you do. Think about it, if you’re gone then there’s one less Shadowsworn. The Dark Lord would want you to stay as long as possible.”
“Or we could just kill you here. That would have the same effect.”
It made sense, all of it. The Dark Lord wouldn’t want to give me up when he had a tool he could use. But my mouth wouldn’t open when I wanted it to.
Scarlet fog crept around the corner of my vision. My body started to move on its own, like it had once before, and another nightmare started.
The pain in my back again.
Scorpion-like claws arched over my shoulders and I caught glimpses of a tail. Corbie stepped back a bit, but Raul’s face remained calm. Only the tensing of his muscles, the way his feet seemed ready to jump into action, showed his nervousness. Corbie unsheathed his sword, the vaguely leaf-shaped blade swaying back and forth in his grasp.
The three of us stood there for some time, the animal within just waiting for some movement, some attack on which to pounce, the two of them…. Well, I wasn’t sure why there were staying still. Maybe they sensed the questing glare of the ageless basic hunter, and were unwilling to attract its attention.
See those pigs up there flying south for the winter?
Through the haze, I caught movement. My head flicked away from the two, saw DuskTreader with her staff. She didn’t look very happy. She held her staff in one hand, tilted downward. Her other hand hovered above the head of the staff, the dark smoke within so dark that it was clearly visible from where I stood. A grey nimbus slowly grew within and around the crystal, but then….
A startled look came over her face and she looked past the trio of nearly immobile men.
My eyes and the creature’s flicked across the square, following her gaze. They crossed the square once, twice, before catching the object of DuskTreader’s gaze.
A woman, walking towards the square through the gate which stand wide open, unremarkable except that the creature’s eyes and senses, so attuned to shifts and sudden movements, completely missed her presence. She saw my gaze on her and smiled.
She advanced quickly, swords materializing in empty hands as she sped up. Before she quite reached the two men, they turned, as if sensing her.
The Creature tensed, but didn’t attack. All predators will allow others to do most of their work, before driving them away to claim the kill.
A knife left Raul Nightslayer’s hand even more quickly than it appeared, arrowing towards the woman’s throat. Corbie’s sword swept at her stomach at almost the same instant.
Corbie’s sword simply swirled through the stomach, as it dissipated like smoke, and the woman vanished. She appeared again a foot back, lunged as she used a third hand that suddenly appeared to deflect the dagger.
A fourth sword, along with the required arm, appeared to block Corbie’s next blow, with two other swords blocking twin knives Raul now wielded. The final sword lanced straight towards Corbie’s stomach.
He twitched aside, but not enough. The sword went through his stomach.
Before dissipating like smoke.
The woman stepped back, and a fist burst from her stomach, lanced towards Raul.
He ignored it, perhaps thinking it illusion.
It wasn’t. He stumbled back, blood pooling along his lip.
Corbie slashed across the hand, only to have it turn to smoke, along with the woman it sprang from.
Another image appeared behind Raul, than another and another until the two men were surrounded by images of the woman. She wielded only two swords now, and was back to looking perfectly unremarkable.
I glanced towards DuskTreader, who watched the fight with a blank face, her staff gripped tightly in her right hand.
The DP is not obvious. It's, what happens next? And i am going to keep the decision of the last DP. The Hunted will go with the Illusionist. The question is, will it be fleeing from rebel forces, or with rebel captives? Or maybe the fight is a draw. And does DuskTreader come along willingly? Perhaps she isn't as willing to put herself in enemy hands as she should be.
(This entire DP is definitely NOT because i couldn't think of a good scenario for our main character to go with the Illusionist. I definitely was NOT expecting the "Go with the Rebels" option to win, and i will definitely NOT be taking care not to let preconcieved notions affect my writing again.)
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When the dead walk, the living run.
Last edited by DeadManWalking on Wed Jun 24, 2009 1:44 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Lady of the Shadows
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| Posted: Mon Apr 06, 2009 11:07 pm Post subject: |
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Ooh. What happens next...hmm...
Somehow they will use her power against her, and she will flee, but not before taking the Hunted and an uwilling DuskTreader with her.
But seeing as I can't figure out a way to get them to defeat her without diminishing their strength, perhaps she kills off Raul, and Corbie escapes. The Illusionist is about to kill DuckTreader, having cornered and near defeated her, but Hunted bargains, and she takes them both.
Not that it's the best in the world, but anyhow...
_________________
Childhood is measured out by sounds and smells and sights, before the dark hour of reason grows. - John Betjeman
If you look long and hard into the deep of the abyss, you will find me. In the last rays of the lingering sun, you will find me. But I will not return to you yet.
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BlackAmaranth
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| Posted: Tue Apr 07, 2009 2:31 pm Post subject: |
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Well, of course DuskTreader is unwilling to go, but she'd be in quite a bit of trouble with the Dark Lord if she just let the Illusionist skip off with the Hunted. I think Corbie should somehow stay behind...maybe he and the captured city will play a bigger part in the fight later? And I don't care much about Raul, but it would be a shame to kill him off so soon after introducing him. He could be wounded and taken along as a rebel captive, perhaps? Just some thoughts...great job so far though 
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"Well, here I am...in the towers of an insane asylum...wearing a straitjacket...talking to myself..."
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Crunchyfrog
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| Posted: Thu Apr 09, 2009 1:15 pm Post subject: |
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I cannot see the Illusionist being taken captive. I'm with Lady of the Shadows here, an unwilling Dusktreader going with them will add some tension between the three of them.
Some good writing there, but also picked up on some word repetition - Corbie's Sword and stomach - see if you can make that bit run more evenly.
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scissorkitty
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| Posted: Fri Apr 10, 2009 5:24 pm Post subject: |
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I just caught up with this story.. it's excellent! You definitely have knack for writing interesting fight scenes.
Hmmm. So, he's going with the Illustionist.. that's cool. I hope at some point the Hunted can summon his inner beastie and have a good look at himself- i'm a little curious about what's going on with him.
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......back and forth.....
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DeadManWalking
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| Posted: Wed Jun 24, 2009 1:47 pm Post subject: |
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And i have FINALLY put the poll up. Apologies for the delay, an idearium blight is upon me and caught up with my sufferings i forgot completely that i had yet to put up a poll.
However, i will be gone for the next three or four weeks, so the next chapter will have to wait until then.
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When the dead walk, the living run.
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DeadManWalking
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| Posted: Sat Aug 01, 2009 9:20 am Post subject: |
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*sigh*
*looks at the poll that has been up for a month*
*is sad*
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Crunchyfrog
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| Posted: Sun Aug 02, 2009 3:12 am Post subject: |
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Thanks for the reminder. I guess all storygame activity has slowed over the past couple of months.
Have voted.
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DeadManWalking
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| Posted: Sat Aug 08, 2009 3:47 pm Post subject: |
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Thanks Crunchy. Although you happen to be the only one who's voted yet...
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DeadManWalking
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| Posted: Mon Aug 17, 2009 6:32 pm Post subject: |
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sooo....
A tie....
*looks at fingernails*
*looks at the sky*
*looks at the giant marshmallow*
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BlackAmaranth
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| Posted: Mon Aug 17, 2009 10:35 pm Post subject: |
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Sorry, I'm pretty sure I'm the one who tied it up  Ermmmmm, I can switch if you want...
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"Well, here I am...in the towers of an insane asylum...wearing a straitjacket...talking to myself..."
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DeadManWalking
Duke of the Mostly Dead
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| Posted: Wed Aug 26, 2009 3:38 pm Post subject: |
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Closing the poll now, while it is untied. Thanks to all who voted.
Will attempt to get up another chapter as soon as possible. Definitely. Cuz i'm always very prompt with that kind of thing.
*cough*
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When the dead walk, the living run.
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| Besides the fact that the Hunted goes with the Illusionist, what else happens? |
| The Illusionist slaughters both Corbie and Raul and takes the Dusktreader along unwillingly. |
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33% |
[ 2 ] |
| Raul is killed, but Corbie survives. (Dusktreader still taken unwillingly.) |
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50% |
[ 3 ] |
| Neither of the rebels is killed, Dusktreader still taken (yes i know that was in all the options but everyone seemed to agree on that point) |
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0% |
[ 0 ] |
| A giant marshmallow falls from the sky engulfing and suffocating the Illusionist (AUTHOR'S OPTION) |
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16% |
[ 1 ] |
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| Total Votes : 6 |
| Who Voted: BlackAmaranth, Crunchyfrog, DeadManWalking, Phantomfan, Scheherazade, snow tiger |
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