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 Posted: Fri Nov 20, 2009 5:18 am Post subject: |
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*Okay, stay calm for now, the dog is fine. Composes self.*
Great chapter C-Ren! I think that the package should contain a selection of items, which though they might not seem particularly exciting in themselves, could take the story in a variety of directions. There should be a house key, and a drivers licence or something, so that he knows his address. Going to the place where he lives should bring back some memories. Also a key to a warehouse or storage facility, which could give him and the reader some insight as to who he actually is, or was, and what he does for a living. One gets the feeling, that he is probably not going to be a very nice person.
Well that's all I've got for now. Later C-Ren!
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| Posted: Fri Nov 20, 2009 5:37 am Post subject: |
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| Tikanni Corazon wrote: | *Okay, stay calm for now, the dog is fine. Composes self.*
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Yes indeed. The keywords here are 'for now'. Mwahahahahahaha!
And thanks for the ideas Tikki! 
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| Posted: Fri Nov 20, 2009 5:42 am Post subject: |
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Your welcome!
(But you're still evil!) 
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| Posted: Sat Nov 21, 2009 5:41 am Post subject: |
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Okay, from IF and Tome I'm going to use these three ideas...
A feminine pleasure toy.
A water gun posing as a real one?
A key to a Warehouse.
Next chapter should be up either today or, more likely, tomorrow. (China time).
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| Posted: Sat Nov 21, 2009 6:22 pm Post subject: |
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Yet another great chapter C-Ren!
This is a tough DP. I can only say what I would do in that situation. Though I would be scared, curiousity would prompt me to find out more rather than fleeing. But I wouldn't go straight to the warehouse. I think I would go for a bite to eat, at a local cafe/resurant, to think things through.
If Ron does this, especially at a local place, there is also a chance that he may come across somebody who knew him before he lost his memory. Somebody who could give him more information on who he was, where he lives ect. I think that only a complete fool, would go and check something out without knowing what it was that he was checking out.
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| Posted: Sun Nov 22, 2009 8:18 am Post subject: |
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Yeah, and leave you behind instead of the dog! 
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| Posted: Mon Nov 23, 2009 3:31 am Post subject: |
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I've just been to the dentist, and am in too much trauma from the pain to write another tonight, so there's another day to get your ideas in!
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| Posted: Tue Nov 24, 2009 5:50 am Post subject: |
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My god, what the hell is it?! The chinese want it, the russians want it!
I think that Ron still needs to know more. Mabye he should tell this Natasha, that he will meet her somewhere later to give his answer, buy him some time. Then he can either use that time to find out more, and then keep his promise to meet up. Or he could use the time to scarper! Really he needs to find someone that's on his side, to give him the info he needs.
Also I have an idea of what could happen later in the SG, which you may well have thought of yourself. You wrote in chapter 7 that the dog was chewing the...dildo *a lady should not have to stoop so low as to say something like that!*...and the plastic that it was made from was really tough, too tough for the dogs teeth to get through. The water pistol is made from that same plastic. What if they are made to be indestructable, because each of them contain parts of something important. Mabye it.
Another great chapter, by the way.
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.... there is no religion without love, and people may talk as much as they like about their religion, but if it does not teach them to be good and kind to man and beast, it is all a sham....
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| Posted: Tue Nov 24, 2009 6:02 am Post subject: |
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Thanks Tikki, and you'll find out later what 'it' is.
Also, I've just had a great idea for this story! Oooh! ~rubs hands together~
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| Posted: Tue Nov 24, 2009 6:43 am Post subject: |
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| Tikanni Corazon wrote: | | dildo *a lady should not have to stoop so low as to say something like that!* |
Device? (certain adjectives optional)
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| Posted: Wed Nov 25, 2009 9:51 pm Post subject: |
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Any other ideas for this? I'm busy tonight, but hopefully something will fall out of me for this tomorrow. I've refined the background plot a bit recently too, and there are some surprises* in store!
*At least I hope they surprise you.
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| Posted: Fri Nov 27, 2009 11:09 am Post subject: |
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Well, it seems the only thing to do, is to go to Charley's Circus to check it out. But Ron should try to keep a low profile, and remain unnoticed. There may well be enemies hanging around. At the moment that's all I've got. Bit crap at the moment, as I'm stating the bleeding obvious, but if I come up with something more, I'll let you know.
Another great edition to the story C-Ren!
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| Posted: Fri Nov 27, 2009 6:51 pm Post subject: |
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Thanks Tikki!
Some possible options for now:
Bearing in mind it's evening, should he go to the circus now, make his way to the mysterious complex (as mentioned before), or find somewhere to rest for the night?
Or something else?
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| Posted: Mon Nov 30, 2009 9:50 am Post subject: |
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Well, he's slept and bathed already, so I think he should get the hell outta there!
As for the body, leaving it in the room is probably not a good idea, as the receptionist at the hotel will be able to describe what Ron looks like to anyone who may come a-callin'. If Rons room happened to face out into the alley, he could chuck the body out of the window, and then deal with it once he's outside, hide it in a dumpster or something, so that it can't directly be connected to him.
Another great chapter C-Ren!
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.... there is no religion without love, and people may talk as much as they like about their religion, but if it does not teach them to be good and kind to man and beast, it is all a sham....
Black Beauty by Anna Sewell, 1887
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| Posted: Tue Dec 01, 2009 3:11 pm Post subject: |
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Oooh, I like the throw the body out of the window idea!
I'm hoping to work on this later today, but there's a dentist appointment somewhere in my near future too... 
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| Posted: Mon Dec 07, 2009 9:47 am Post subject: |
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I don't think that Ron should go snooping around while the place is quiet. That's just asking for it surely. He should wait for the next show. And I don't know about new characters (though I will think about it and get back to you if I think of anything), but I think that this could be a good place for the mysterious stranger from the prison to make another appearence, to give Ron a little more information (But not too much, don't want to give everything away! )
Yet again, another great edition to the story!
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.... there is no religion without love, and people may talk as much as they like about their religion, but if it does not teach them to be good and kind to man and beast, it is all a sham....
Black Beauty by Anna Sewell, 1887
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| Posted: Tue Dec 08, 2009 3:21 am Post subject: |
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Thanks Tik. There have been a couple of good suggestions on Tome too, so I'm kind of itching to get the next chapter out.
Coming soon...
Chapter 13 - Send in the Clowns!
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| Posted: Tue Dec 08, 2009 3:31 am Post subject: |
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Good, good! Hope I don't have to wait too long!
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| Posted: Tue Dec 08, 2009 8:56 am Post subject: |
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What did I say? Asking for it! Now look what he's got himself into!
Well, if they're expected to kill each other, I'd say shoot Nacho, and then leg it, hopefully not running into the clown guard when he does so. If the plan is to kill each other until there is only two left, then the gun shot might not alert the guard, and Ron might be able to sneak out unscathed. But then where does he go next. If he had just killed the boss, he would be expected to run away, so mabye he could check out Nachos place, as it wouldn't be expected. He's bound to find out something.
And I have to say C-Ren, this was out quicker than I expected! Great chapter, even if the lead character seems to have little or no common sense, seeing as he's prepared to go to a near deserted circus, without even waiting for cover of night. Men, I ask you!
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| Posted: Thu Dec 10, 2009 5:16 am Post subject: |
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| Tikanni Corazon wrote: | | Men, I ask you! |
Lol!
So, any other ideas?
From Tome we have: Starts firing at the enemy.
From IF we have try and take out Nacho and leg it!
I should have some time tomorrow, so I'll try and do the next episode then!
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| Posted: Fri Dec 11, 2009 1:09 pm Post subject: |
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The boss, I'd say. From there he might be able to get a clue what it is everyone thinks he has.
This is really getting interesting. I suspected he would have some sort of locked away combat training... heh heh.
(Note to Ren: I figured I'd start posting on both sites because these posts can inspire some conversation and thought... maybe.)
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| Posted: Sun Dec 13, 2009 8:42 am Post subject: |
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Sorry C-Ren! I would have replied earlier, but I've been off-line nearly all week (that's changed now, as I've got a brand new Dell, sitting on my lap right at this very moment! ).
I think that Ron has been involved with these guys before, and I think if he chose to guard the boss, he stands a chance of being reconised by him. But to see the boss may also bring back any memories he has of what happened before the incident in the laundry room.
But I'm going to say guard the lab. He might be able to get info from there too. Well, I say might. He will obviously.
Also, I think our Ron is going to turn out to be a bit of a bad boy! He just happens to hit that clown dead centre? I don't think so! Me thinks that Ron knows how to handle a gun. He just doesn't know it! Yet!
Great chapter, once again!
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.... there is no religion without love, and people may talk as much as they like about their religion, but if it does not teach them to be good and kind to man and beast, it is all a sham....
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| Posted: Sun Dec 13, 2009 10:23 pm Post subject: |
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Very perceptive there Tikki! Oh, that reminds me, the dog's still alive. 
Anyway, we have two votes for the boss on Tome, and one for lab on IF so far. I'll leave this open until later, when I plan to have some bee... er, liquid Insparatium and pull together the chapter that's forming in my noggin'.
As always, thank-you for participating in this story.
Sincerely,
C'ren.
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| Posted: Wed Dec 16, 2009 4:44 am Post subject: |
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No sneaking around!  Even Ron can't be that stupid! Stay where he is. Eaves-drop if he must, but stay! He's supposed to be guarding the boss. There is nothing to say that the boss will stay in that room the whole time. If he goes elsewhere, he's going to expect Ron to go with him, to guard him. If Ron is not there to guard him, he's going to be pissed, and there will have been no point taking those stupid risks, because he'll be dead anyway.
Although, mabye that wouldn't be such a bad thing, seeing as he's a horrible man who abandons dogs, apparently, and goes off and has a good time with Sofia the super-tart! Poor little guy, he's probably lay shivering in an alleyway somewhere, wondering what he did that was so wrong, that his master left him. *wipes away a tear*
Bad C-Ren!
But great chapter!
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.... there is no religion without love, and people may talk as much as they like about their religion, but if it does not teach them to be good and kind to man and beast, it is all a sham....
Black Beauty by Anna Sewell, 1887
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| Posted: Wed Dec 16, 2009 5:55 pm Post subject: |
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| Tikanni Corazon wrote: | No sneaking around!
Although, mabye that wouldn't be such a bad thing, seeing as he's a horrible man who abandons dogs, apparently, and goes off and has a good time with Sofia the super-tart! Poor little guy, he's probably lay shivering in an alleyway somewhere, wondering what he did that was so wrong, that his master left him. *wipes away a tear*
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Actually, I have a big highlighted note at the top of each chapter in the master document reminding me about the dog! I may have to add a little bit later on. Just assume the dog is having a good time running around and playing with the elephant. For now.
And...
Some good, differing, opinions on the next action here! (Two on TomeCity too). I may even have to put up a poll. Or possibly merge them, 'cos I could do that. Merge them. Mmm...
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Thunderbird
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| Posted: Wed Dec 16, 2009 7:01 pm Post subject: |
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Yeah... poor dog! (unless he really IS having fun playing with an elephant... I think MY dog would LOVE playing with an elephant!)
My suggestion was put on Tome initially: | Quote: | | He has an interesting opportunity to get really agressive here. The boss is now no longer guarded by any but himself... I say after some serious self-pep-talk, he grows a pair and enters (after checking to make sure there are actually rounds in the chamber!) and holds the gun to the boss's head, demanding some answers as to what's going on, what the boss wants from him, what the lab is for, and a good reason why he shouldn't blow the guy's head off here and now! (Which I think is what he'd probably intend to do in the end anyhow.) Be ready, then, to make a break for it! |
_________________
CHAPTER 25: Near-Light Speed (NEW CHAPTER! (12/4/2011))
Zephyrrr! And...
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Shady Stoat
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| Posted: Sat Dec 19, 2009 11:56 pm Post subject: |
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Well, it's always possible Ron could remember about the dog while on guard duty. You know that horrible feeling you get when you've suddenly realised something's missing and has been for way too long? It's unbearable. It transcends any other consideration - even that of doing your job and guarding the boss.
Maybe he can slip away to try and find the dog. Gee, I sure hope he doesn't get caught taking time off his duties
Fun story Chinaren 
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Chinaren
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Tikanni Corazon
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| Posted: Sun Dec 20, 2009 7:25 am Post subject: |
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Thankyou C-Ren! *smiles sweetly*
This one's tricky! On one hand, Sofia is giving Ron a chance to explain himself, so she obviously cares about him a little. On the other, just because they had a major sex-fest the night before, does not mean that she feels anything for him. When you jump into bed with someone, that soon after meeting them, it is just sex. No real feelings. In fact, she's using him, for her own pleasure, so she probably cares even less about him, than Ron thinks.
He should probably just stay calm, and try explaining all to her. It can only go one of two ways. He just needs to be on the alert. She might believe him, and help him out. On the other, she may do her job, and try to kill him. If that happens, just have to hope that some insticts from Rons past return to help him out!
Great chapter, once again!
_________________
.... there is no religion without love, and people may talk as much as they like about their religion, but if it does not teach them to be good and kind to man and beast, it is all a sham....
Black Beauty by Anna Sewell, 1887
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Thunderbird
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| Posted: Sun Dec 20, 2009 2:48 pm Post subject: |
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I f5 Tika on this one:
Spill all! What choice does he have really? He just might engender some support from her by doing so. And if that doesn't go well... Fido, ATTACK! Then run like hell. (grabbing weapons along the way of course.) Again, another brilliant chapter c'ren!
_________________
CHAPTER 25: Near-Light Speed (NEW CHAPTER! (12/4/2011))
Zephyrrr! And...
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Shady Stoat
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| Posted: Mon Dec 21, 2009 1:06 am Post subject: |
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Spill all is the easy option. It's probably even the most likely option, but I can't quite get comfortable with it. Sophia and Ron have shared a few horizontal dances, that's true, but I don't think that on its own would be enough to deter her from doing her job and either killing him or turning him in.
There's no denying it's him - unless he wants to invent an evil twin, soap opera style. So he'll have to spin it. Appeal to her finer instincts, greed and fear. He can remind her of the five agents who've already died trying to apprehend him. Five people trained by the same people who are training her now. And then he can say he's out to take over this organisation, and she can be cut in if she wants.
If she doesn't fall for it, he's lost nothing, coz she'd shop him anyhow. If she does fall for it, he has an ally in his search for truth and survival.
Let's just hope she's a dog lover
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