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Guyron Resident
Joined: 24 Nov 2009 Topics: 3 Posts: 34 Location: Bucharest, Romania Items Legends
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Posted: Fri Nov 27, 2009 7:24 pm Post subject: Just Like You Imagined: Discussions |
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If you have anything to say about my story, let's keep the original story thread clear, and instead fill this one. Thank you. _________________ "Congressman, you haven't lived until you've had white tiger pate on a private island where the children call you God!"
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Mirel Resident
Joined: 25 Sep 2009 Topics: 1 Posts: 65 Location: The land of possibilty Items Legends
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Posted: Fri Dec 04, 2009 11:23 am Post subject: |
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Interesting. I'm a little confused about some points, however. Such as:
1.) What kind of ship is this? From the first part I got the idea of a sort of space ship, but then it started sinking and I wasn't sure.
2.) Where are they? On the sea? This is not clear. The character looked out a window, and although clearly disdanful of whatever view (if any) he saw, this would have been a great way to introduce your readers to at least some contextal understand of location if only in a general sense: On the sea, in space, in port, in the middle of the ocean, in the sky, at night, during the day...etc, etc., etc.
3.) What point of time/universe is this? I get the hint that its extremly technological but is it far in the past (an advanced society that has ceased to exist like Altantis) or in the future?
4.) What's happening?. This whole chapter has been both completly confused and curious.
5.) Who is trying to destroy this man's work?
6.) Why?
7.) What was the man doing with the Tablet? You stated it was his work but not what kind of work?
It is my hope that these questions will become clear especially in later installments, for the purpose of curiosity as to their answers, I think I shall stay around awhile. _________________ Possibilities are the food of the imgination.
~ ~ ~
Some things are too good to be missed: Get Invited.
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Guyron Resident
Joined: 24 Nov 2009 Topics: 3 Posts: 34 Location: Bucharest, Romania Items Legends
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Posted: Tue Dec 08, 2009 2:57 pm Post subject: |
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As the first actual chapter has been posted, you will realize the prologue was just a dream. Dreams don't have defined logical patterns, they tend to continuously morph, in such way that you cannot predict what would happen next. Damien's dream was quite well defined, compared to most what most people dream of. _________________ "Congressman, you haven't lived until you've had white tiger pate on a private island where the children call you God!"
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Thunderbird Elder
Joined: 13 Sep 2009 Topics: 104 Posts: 2139 Location: Rising from the ashes Items Legends
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Posted: Tue Dec 08, 2009 4:23 pm Post subject: |
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Wow... this chapter was... deep. But perhaps it lost a lot of meaning by going SO deep. It at least clearly presents the sort of complex thought processes this main character possesses, many of which are the kind I can relate too (but not all and certainly not they way I would consider them).
I wouldn't be surprised if a great many readers would consider this waaaaaaay too confusing to follow. _________________
CHAPTER 25: Near-Light Speed (NEW CHAPTER! (12/4/2011))
Zephyrrr! And...
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Guyron Resident
Joined: 24 Nov 2009 Topics: 3 Posts: 34 Location: Bucharest, Romania Items Legends
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Posted: Tue Dec 08, 2009 6:10 pm Post subject: |
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Yeah, I've decided to make some of the characters more complicated. _________________ "Congressman, you haven't lived until you've had white tiger pate on a private island where the children call you God!"
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Guyron Resident
Joined: 24 Nov 2009 Topics: 3 Posts: 34 Location: Bucharest, Romania Items Legends
Fables
Strata-gems
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Posted: Mon Feb 22, 2010 6:48 am Post subject: |
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Finally managed to write something. Been quite busy with a lot of stuff lately, and I barely find any time to write. And I got some nice ideas with this story, I wouldn't wanna let it go. _________________ "Congressman, you haven't lived until you've had white tiger pate on a private island where the children call you God!"
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