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PilgrimSoul
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PostPosted: Thu Apr 08, 2010 12:08 am    Post subject: Comic Pitch Reply with quote

I'm not sure where to put this, I guess it's experiemental. This is really a pitch idea for a steam punk comic I'd like to write. I'd apprciate feedback (especially regarding what the title shoudl be) , and if any of you know artist who will work for nothing, hook me up.

Anyway, here goes:

Title: ?????

Characters:


Edmund Kensington: Socialite, philanthropist, and Actor extrodinare. Formally famous, and recently infamous, due to his status as a murder suspect. Word is he'd do anything to clear his name and save his career.

Evelyn Harper: Investigative Journalist. Brilliant with the investigation, not so much with the journalism. The latter has caused her to lose her job at the 'Ironton Informer'. Rumors have been circulating that she's hard up, and willing to take on freelance projects.

Sydney Harper: Evelyn's younger brother. Suffering from an odd illness.

Murdock: No one knows if this is his first or last name. Runs the Ironton Informer.

Mrs. Miller: Evelyn's landlady.

Yvette Nollen: Murder victim. Ed's life-long friend and frequent leading lady until her demise.

Angelo Vincinni: Yvette's recently announced fiancée.

Leroy Miller: Playwright, theater owner, and Mrs. Miller's nephew. Distraught over the closing of the theater due to the murder.

Mary Freemason: a nurse. Has been tending to Sydney at home.

Anna Smith: Evelyn's neighbor and Yvette's understudy. Mediocre talent.

Bentley & Archer: Investors in the theater. Have a habit of finishing each other's sentences.




Episode 1 Synopsis:
Evelyn, or 'Eve' is fired by Murdock due to her poor writing skills. She leaves angrily, threatening to sue for wrongful termination. As she gathers her things, the morning's edition on her desk announces the acquittal of Ed.

Scene shifts to Ed and Leroy in a coach. Leroy expresses sympathy about Ed's ordeal, and tries to comfort him by saying it's over. They arrive at Ed's house and see a mob waiting for them. Ed says it's far from over, and tells the driver to take him to a hotel.

Eve arrives home, a modest apartment building. A stack of bills spill over the table, but she ignores them and heads to Sydney's room. He's asleep, with a nurse sitting next to him. They briefly discuss his health, and the nurse says the agency wont let her come back until receiving payment. Eve tells her she'll work it out.

Flashback scene: Ed recalls finding Yvette in a pool of blood in her dressing room. She isn't dead yet, and tries to tell him something before expiring in his arms. He suspects Ann killed her. Shift to Ed sitting in a hotel room, with his head in his hands, wondering how he can prove it.

Early morning. Eve sips coffee in the hotel's restaurant, scanning the paper for jobs. She is distracted by two women gushing over Ed, and asking for his autograph. He politely obliges, despite his obvious discomfort. Eve goes back to her paper, thinking Ed's a cheap show-off. Ed hears the waiter say her name when bringing her the bill. He introduces himself, and thanks her for an article she wrote supporting his innocence. They discuss the case, and Ed reveals his suspicions. Eve laughs them off, explaining how they aren't possible, and tells him he could never be an investigator. She's pays for her Coffee and leaves. Ed watches intently as she goes.

Shift to Eve's house. She brings Sydney tea, saying she gave Marry the day off. Sydney knows she's lying, and gets the truth about her firing out of her. He expresses frustration at being a burden. Before Eve can reply, the doorbell rings. Mrs. Miller shows in Ed. He says that he's a good enough investigator to find out about her money problems. Eve irately demands to know what he wants. Ed then offers to pay her bills in full if she agrees to help him catch Yvette's killer.
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Crunchyfrog
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PostPosted: Thu Apr 08, 2010 5:45 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Interesting synopsis - and you've come to the right site if you're looking for help with developing your plot - as you will receive input chapter by chapter. Usually we do this by roleplaying the main characters, but we experiment with different methods, too.

This comic-strip Storygame was started here in the Experimental forum some time back, which might interest you. Scrapyard

With so little to go on at the moment, a possible title is not really standing out yet, for me. Although you say it's steampunk you've given very little detail of the actual setting. If you can provide more detail of the story and setting, maybe flesh it out to more than a synopsis, that might help. Smile
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PilgrimSoul
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PostPosted: Fri Apr 09, 2010 3:03 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

As far as setting goes, I'm still working on it. I know I want to have steam powered caraiges and gothic archetecture, but with more or less modern ideologies. Grey and black would be important colors, given the victorian atmosphere, as would the use of light.

I'm still working on thematic elements, but I know I want one of them to be about how even the best-intentioned people can be dangerous in the right circumstances.
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PostPosted: Wed Apr 21, 2010 9:15 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Episode 2:

Flashback to Eve and Sydney as teenagers in school. All classmates are at ;east three years older. The teacher asks a question no one knows the answer to. Eve begins to raise her hand, but is to nervous. Sydney stomps on her foot, causing her to yelp and get the teacher's attention. She surprises everyone with answer.
Shift to Eve in Sydney's room, looking over the contract Ed left. Eve insists she doesn't need money that badly. Sydney tells her to sign because she's interested in the case. Anna, who has been listening, says that anything that helps Leroy is worthwhile. Eve follows their advice.
Scene Changes to front of Ed's hotel. Angelo, obviously drunk, demands to see Ed. The doorman says he isn't their, but Angelo doesn't believe him and threatens to turn violent. Eve interrupts and asks what's going on. Angelo tearfully tells her he knows Ed is guilty, that he was jealous of Yvette and enraged when she announced her engagement to Angelo. Eve tells him that she's been hired to investigate, and promises him she'll find out the truth. Angelo calms down and leaves. The doorman tells Eve that Ed really isn't there, but at the theater with Leroy.
Shift to Anna and Sydney in Sydney's room. They talk about his condition. Sydney says that he's made peace with what's happening to him, but he's worried about his sister. Anna says that Eve seems to be holding up well, to which Sydney replies that it's because she hasn't accepted it yet. He adds that Eve hates admitting defeat.
Shift to Leroy and Ed discussing the re-opening of the theater. Leroy says that getting back to work would help them all recuperate, but he doesn't think it's respectful to open before Yvette's case is solved. Ed agrees, and offers to talk to their investors for him. Eve enters. She begins to tell Ed she's accepted his offer, but is interrupted by the arrival of Murdock. He's surprised to see her and demands to know what she's doing there. Eve retorts that he's no longer her boss and it's non of his business. Leroy stops the argument by taking Murdock to his office for an interview.
Now alone, Eve gives Ed the signed contract,and asks to see the murder scene immediately.
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Swordfish
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PostPosted: Mon May 24, 2010 6:37 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I like the idea. Its always cool to see a fellow steampunk fan going through and trying to make a comic. I was thinking, that if you want, I could work on some character concepts for it? If you give me some personality traits and maybe a little description of their clothing (nothing too much, just a bit of things, waist jackets and the like). But uh...yeah, my style is like that typical MARVEL type you see, a little sketchy though. So get back to me, and maybe we can work a little something out?
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Crunchyfrog
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PostPosted: Tue Jun 08, 2010 2:03 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'd be fascinated to see what you two guys come up with for this. My main storygame Magician's Touch has been described as steampunk, and the more I'm exploring the genre the more I'm becoming a fan...
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PostPosted: Wed Jun 09, 2010 4:26 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I've found that that really is one of the best ways to learn about a particular gere or style, writing it.
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