 |
 |
 |
 |
|
| Author |
Message |
PilgrimSoul
Resident
Joined: 07 Apr 2010
Topics: 4
Posts: 56
Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems
|
 Posted: Sun Aug 22, 2010 12:37 am Post subject: How to Move On |
 |
|
How to move On:
When he says he thinks you should take a break, be understanding and agree.
When he says he wants to see other people, scream.
Leave an obscene message on his voice mail then call back an hour later and say
you didn't mean it..
Tell your mom he's afraid of commitment.
Tell your friends he's a bastard.
Tell your boss you're taking a personal day.
Watch Titanic
Stare at his picture till his face doesn't make sense anymore.
Listen to The Beatles for six hours straight.
Find an old birthday card he gave you.
Weep Piteously.
Watch Fatal Attraction.
Imagine elaborate scenarios where he's in a terrible accident and needs a blood
transfusion and you're the only donor available in the universe.
Think about how you met.
When he calls and and asks how you are, say you are fine.
Don't mean it.
Say this is a good thing.
Say you're taking time for personal reflection
Hang up and resolve to get really drunk.
Go to a bar and pick up the first guy you see.
In the morning forget why he's there and call the cops.
Apologize to the landlord for the disturbance.
Go to work and find a bouquet of flowers on your desk from your colleagues.
Listen to Susan from accounting explain you've dodged a bullet.
Wonder how everyone in the office heard about this.
Tell your mom he wasn't mature.
Tell your friends he was selfish.
Tell your boss your project's running smoothly.
Don't mean it.
Spend the afternoon trying to fit into your old cheerleader outfit.
Sign up for a gym membership.
Listen to Bob Dylan
Realize that you can turn up the volume on the TV and stereo as loud as you want.
Apologize to the landlord for the disturbance.
Reflect on how he never left the toilet seat down, regardless of how many times you reminded him.
Run into the guy from the bar in your favorite coffee shop, and have an awkward but polite conversation.
Ask him to join you for coffee.
Have a nice conversation about movies and current events.
Give the guy from the bar your number.
When bar guy doesn't call, vow to become a lesbian.
Stare at yourself in the mirror till your face doesn't make sense anymore.
Wonder what you did wrong.
Call him and ask.
Listen.
Find the old birthday card again, and realize he spelled your name wrong.
Put all the stuff he left in the apartment in a pile and burn it.
Ask your friends if you can stay with them while you look for a new apartment.
Let Susan from accounting set you up on sporadic blind dates.
Don't feel a connection with any of them.
Decide to take a break from dating while you get things on track.
Go to the gym and fantasize about your trainer.
Feel guilty about it at first, then remember it's okay because you're single.
Listen to a sweaty guy on the treadmill brag about his condo then ask you to go
out for dinner.
Don't.
Watch G.I. Jane.
Tell your friends you weren't meant to be.
Tell your mom you took him for granted.
Tell your boss you want a raise.
Sign the lease on your new apartment.
Listen to Aretha Franklin.
Run into him in the super market.
Say your aren't seeing anyone.
Say you're doing well.
Wish him good luck.
Mean it.
_________________
"For still there are so many things that I have never seen.
In every leaf, in every spring, there is a different green." -Tolkien
Last edited by PilgrimSoul on Thu Sep 02, 2010 5:01 am; edited 1 time in total
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
 |
|
 |
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Message |
Lebrenth
Honored Citizen
Joined: 29 Dec 2005
Topics: 43
Posts: 1483
Location: Utah
Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems
|
| Posted: Sun Aug 29, 2010 9:18 am Post subject: |
|
|
I was at first intimidated by the size of the piece, I'll admit, but it was very good. It has story and rhythm, and it feels complete and meaningful. Thank you for sharing!
I wouldn't change the content at all, but I might suggest changing the format. I think separating all of the lines with that much white space stretches it thin and makes it harder for the reader to associate the lines that belong together. The poem enters several stages, and paragraphs or stanzas would help delineate that. Plus, it seems like measured chunks of text are less intimidating.
_________________
Welcome To Purgatory - current storygame
Please visit my Library of completed works.
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Message |
PilgrimSoul
Resident
Joined: 07 Apr 2010
Topics: 4
Posts: 56
Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems
|
| Posted: Sun Aug 29, 2010 8:16 pm Post subject: |
|
|
Thanks, I'll work on that. I transfered this from a saved word file and it did something weird with the formating
_________________
"For still there are so many things that I have never seen.
In every leaf, in every spring, there is a different green." -Tolkien
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 |
