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Mattheus
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PostPosted: Thu Nov 19, 2009 1:30 am    Post subject: "Traveller" Working Title Reply with quote

Hi all here is the story I was working on when last I was on this site. I have reworked it and hopefully it goes well.

Prologue

Millions of years ago

He stood on a small rise in the middle of a great valley. Looking around at the lush green vegetation that spread outwards, punctuated here and there by medium pools of crystal clear water, until it reached the dark walls that seemed to stretch forever upwards. After taking a moment to savor the view he sighed and turned his mind to more pressing matters.

Turning to his companion standing nearby he said, “It is almost time Nordeth, I can sense the Whitening drawing nearer. Soon we will have to leave the safety of this valley and head south”

Nordeth leaned back slightly to look up at his friend. Nordeth was a dwarf, so everyone was tall compared to him, but Oakenfall was not a normal someone. Oakenfall was a tree, an oak tree to be exact. Then there was also the fact that he could walk as well. You see Oakenfall and Nordeth were leaders of a group of travelers who were escaping from what they called the Whitening, which was in fact ice spreading out from the north, cutting down everything in its path.

As he went to reply to Oakenfall’s words, Nordeth was interrupted by the sound of hooves galloping towards them. “The sky!” cried a voice, “Look to the sky!” They both turned and saw a creature, half human and half horse, charging towards them pointing to something in the clear blue sky above. She was Chentura, leader of the centaurs that were part of the group of travelers. As she came to a halt in front of them, Oakenfall looked to where she was pointing and gasped. Nordeth hearing him turned and catching sight of what his friend had seen froze unable to move due to the shock of what was in the sky above them.

At first he thought the sun was breaking up into pieces, but then seeing that it was the wrong time of day for the sun to be there, he realized that it was a large ball of light that had smaller balls breaking away and heading off in various directions. He watched as it passed overhead getting smaller and smaller as pieces continued to detach themselves until it crashed into the mountain face behind them. Chentura came to a halt beside them, slightly out of breath. “What was that?” she asked, looking anxious. “Something else to run from?”
“No one seems to be hurt,” said Oakenfall. “So I do not believe that we should worry about it too much, in fact I think…”

He was interrupted by a loud voice coming from the top of the mountain that the ball had crashed into. Looking up they saw two figures standing there, waving their arms. Then they started to climb down. As they reached the area where the ball had crashed, one stopped and grabbed it then continued to make his way down. On reaching the bottom they made their way towards the others. At first it looked as if it was a man and a child heading towards them, but as they drew closer it was in fact two adults except one was as tall as Oakenfall. He was a giant, muscular, black shoulder length hair. His companion was an elf. She had blond waist length hair and piercing blue eyes. It was she who had grabbed the ball.

“The Whitening is drawing nearer” she said. “It will reach the valley in a number of hours”. Oakenfall nodded, “We must make preparations to leave then, and hopefully Merfin has transport ready”.

Chentura looked towards the elf. “What of that thing that Lilya carries. What should we do with it?” At this the giant spoke, his voice like thunder. “Other pieces hit ground near Whitening and it made small part of Whitening disappear”.

Nordeth exclaimed “If what Telsa says is true, then we could use this to protect ourselves from the Whitening. No more running”.

Lilya laughed. “I hardly think that one small bit of crystal is going to hold off a big thing like the Whitening. We would need the whole crystal to have any chance”.

“Then that is what we will do” said Oakenfall. “We will devote ourselves to finding all the bits of crystal and bring them together to destroy the Whitening and reclaim our home”.

“Obviously we may not succeed in this in our lifetime so we must pass this quest on to our descendants” mentioned Chentura. At this everyone fell silent thinking of the enormity of the task before them.

Just then a horn sounded. Turning towards the sound they saw another elf waving his arms and yelling. “Merfin says that the rafts are ready to go, everyone else is on board”. Upon hearing this, the leaders of the travelers headed towards the gap between the cliffs and came out on a beach where they beheld a great sight. There were a number of large rafts with elves, dwarves and centaurs on board. There were also some even larger rafts which were close to breaking point from holding the combined weight of giants and treefolk. Connected to the rafts were ropes made from seaweed and at the end of these were a large host of merfolk who were going to pull the rafts across the ocean. A slightly larger merman swam towards the group on the beach; this was Merfin, leader of the merfolk. Upon hearing the plan to search for the pieces of crystal he agreed. “Aye, I too pledge to search for the crystals and my descendants also. Now the rafts are ready and we must depart before the Whitening arrives”. With that he swam towards the largest raft of all which was to carry the leaders of the group. As they stepped onto the raft, Nordeth turned and looked back at the valley and beyond that the mountains in the distance that was their home. “Someday”. He thought. “Someday we will return and reclaim this land”.

The present day

It looked like all the other houses in the street. Medium sized, red roof, brick walls. Inside it had all the normal things you would find in a house. Bed, lounges, TV, bath, washing machine, other personal effects, all except for one room. This room was empty, devoid of any furniture or paintings or any other type of personal effects. Except for the large machine in the middle of the room. This machine was silver in color, circular in shape; its surface was smooth, nothing on it except for what looked like a hand sized piece of glass about halfway down.

Hilton Moss looked just like your average History teacher. He was of average height, short brown hair and wore glasses but only to read with. The only thing that others mentioned to each other about him was that he could move very quickly and quietly so that you had no idea he was approaching until he was standing beside you. One morning Hilton was awoken by a buzzing coming from a speaker in the wall of his bedroom. He immediately went to the room with the machine and pressed on the glass. A hologram of a strange looking person appeared on the surface of the machine.

The figure on the screen was tall with what looked to be brown, scarred skin with green hair, to the casual observer he would look almost like a tree, in fact this is exactly what he was. He was Oakengarl, a treeman, behind him stood five other strange looking characters.

Myrila, an elven princess, tall and slender with waist length golden hair and blue eyes that looked as if they were looking right through you when she cast her gaze on you.

Nordeth, a dwarven soldier who stood about 4ft tall, had brown curly hair and a stout build. He was encased in shiny armor, carrying a mean looking war hammer.

Kentara, a female centaur with brown hindquarters and black flowing hair and wearing a type of animal skin covered breastplate.

The giant Tersa was not quite as tall as Oakengarl but was still an imposing figure. Tall, broad and carrying a club the length of a bus.

Finally there was Merdin, a merman. He was naked from the waist up and had a long blue tail. He was floating in a large glass tank full of water and occasionally ducked his head under the water to help him breathe.

“Hilton” said Oakengarl, whose voice sounded like a strong wind blowing through trees. “We have discovered another piece of crystal. We need you to go and find it”.

Hilton nodded, but waited. Years of experience had taught him that there was more to come. Surprisingly however, it wasn’t Oakengarl that spoke but Merdin instead.

“This time you must travel back in time to Ancient Greece. Here is where you will find the crystal”. He finished by ducking his head under the water.

“Time period?” asked Hilton.

“5th century BC” replied Kentara. “The time of the Persian War”.

Hilton cursed silently. The last time he had been in a time period where a war had been going on, he had almost been killed.

“Remember Hilton” said Oakengarl. “Do not reveal who you are to anyone, do not kill anyone, and most importantly do not change anything that happens in case you end up changing Time itself”.

With that the hologram switched off. Hilton left the room, returning soon after with a backpack containing a few items he thought he would need. Then turning to the machine, which was in fact a time machine, which was also able to scan the area it landed in and take the shape of any object the scan revealed, he pressed the glass. A section of wall slid aside and he entered the revealed space. As the door closed behind him he went over to a keyboard and was about to type in the destination when he realized he had no idea which part of the Persian War he had to go to.

“Typical” he thought. “Only get half the information I need. Oh well, guess I need to take a stab in the dark and see what happens”. His hands hovered over the keyboard for a moment and then he pressed a couple of buttons and the time machine disappeared from the room.

So what part of the Persian War should Hilton end up? The beginning, the middle or the end?


Last edited by Mattheus on Fri Jun 24, 2011 6:40 pm; edited 3 times in total
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Amichan
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PostPosted: Thu Nov 19, 2009 2:24 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

So far so good can't wait until the first official chapter comes out and welcome back Very Happy
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PostPosted: Thu Nov 19, 2009 6:54 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm afraid I'm a bit rusty on my Greecian history. Do you want to refresh our memories about what happened in each of those wars so we could make our decision better.
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PostPosted: Thu Nov 19, 2009 8:22 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oh I remember this! Wasn't the DP at the time to do with the beginning, middle or end of the war? (For some reason I think the middle of the war was winning)

Hilton Moss - Great name! Had he not been a history teacher, I'd have happily tossed a coin for a suggestion, but since we're in character, and he'll know a bit about history, I guess we do need a little more info to help us decide. Smile
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PostPosted: Thu Nov 19, 2009 9:11 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hmm.. i vote for a war that has seen a little less media attention.. so lets NOT do the Battle of Thermopolae (300 movie). Other than that? I agree with Crunchy- need a little more info on each possible battle!
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PostPosted: Thu Nov 19, 2009 11:49 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

yep... I f5 the others on needing more info... but thanks to Kitty for pointing out the one I actually had in mind.

As I recall, the battle of Marathon was the first one, named so because Marathon had ran an incredible distance to warn... I think it was the Athenians, that there was a surprise attack by the Persians on the way.
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PostPosted: Fri Nov 20, 2009 4:30 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks Crunchyfrog for reminding me what the DP was originally, I remembered that I had done it that way because trying to briefly give descriptions of each battle would have taken away from the story.

So I have edited the DP hopefully I haven't confused anyone apart from myself maybe Laughing
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PostPosted: Tue Oct 05, 2010 8:50 pm    Post subject: It has been a while, yes, but why not throw a word in? Reply with quote

I know it's been a LONG time since anyone posted here, but I have a hankerin' to post, and came across this storygame.

Here, posted from wikipedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Greco-Persian_Wars) is a few things to consider time-wise:

The Greco-Persian Wars (also often called the Persian Wars) were a series of conflicts between the Achaemenid Empire of Persia and city-states of the Hellenic world that started in 499 BC and lasted until 449 BC. The collision between the fractious political world of the Greeks and the enormous empire of the Persians began when Cyrus the Great conquered Ionia in 547 BC. Struggling to rule the independent-minded cities of Ionia, the Persians appointed tyrants to rule each of them. This would prove the source of much trouble for both Greeks and Persians alike.

KEY INFO: 499 BC to 449 BC (50 years)

The first Persian invasion of Greece began in 492 BC, with the Persian general Mardonius subjugating Thrace and Macedon before several mishaps forced an early end to the campaign. In 490 BC a second force was sent to Greece, this time across the Aegean Sea, under the command of Datis and Artaphernes. This expedition subjugated the Cyclades, before besieging, capturing and razing Eretria. However, while en route to attack Athens, the Persian force was decisively defeated by the Athenians at the Battle of Marathon, ending Persian efforts for the time being. Darius then began to plan the complete conquest of Greece, but died in 486 BC and responsibility for the conquest passed to his son Xerxes I. In 480 BC, Xerxes personally led the second Persian invasion of Greece, accompanied by one of the largest ancient armies ever assembled. Victory over the 'Allied' Greek states (led by Sparta and Athens) at the Battle of Thermopylae allowed the Persians to overrun most of Greece. However, while seeking to destroy the Allied fleet, the Persians suffered a severe defeat at the Battle of Salamis. The following year, the Allies went on the offensive, defeating the Persian army at the Battle of Plataea, and thereby ending the invasion of Greece.

The Allies followed up their success by destroying the rest of the Persian fleet at the Battle of Mycale, before expelling Persian garrisons from Sestos (479 BC) and Byzantium (478 BC). The actions of the general Pausanias at the siege of Byzantium alienated many of the Greek states from the Spartans, and the anti-Persian alliance was therefore reconstituted around Athenian leadership, as the so-called Delian League. The Delian League continued to campaign against Persia for the next three decades, beginning with the expulsion of the remaining Persian garrisons from Europe. At the Battle of the Eurymedon in 466 BC the League won a double victory that finally secured freedom for the cities of Ionia. However, the involvement of the League in an Egyptian revolt (from 460–454 BC) resulted in a catastrophic defeat and a further campaigning was suspended. A fleet was dispatched to Cyprus in 451 BC, but achieved little, and when it withdrew, the Greco-Persian Wars drew to a quiet end. Some historical sources suggest that the end of hostilities was marked by a peace treaty between Athens and Persia, the so-called Peace of Callias.



I think, having read that, that the scene should be early-ish at the time of Xerces, when "Xerxes personally led the second Persian invasion of Greece, accompanied by one of the largest ancient armies ever assembled. Victory over the 'Allied' Greek states (led by Sparta and Athens) at the Battle of Thermopylae allowed the Persians to overrun most of Greece. However, while seeking to destroy the Allied fleet, the Persians suffered a severe defeat at the Battle of Salamis. The following year, the Allies went on the offensive, defeating the Persian army at the Battle of Plataea, and thereby ending the invasion of Greece."

I think it would be cool for the shard to be in one of those cities, allowing for the main character to get in the action and depending on the side, have to look frantically for the shard before the city falls, OR for him to be on the winning side and have to think of where it'd be/beat the looters to the loot.

: ) Just some thoughts.

(Hope you pick this one up again!)
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PostPosted: Tue Oct 05, 2010 8:51 pm    Post subject: (PS) Reply with quote

Yeah... this was a LONG time ago...

But it really could be fun. Here's hoping for revival!
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PostPosted: Wed Jun 08, 2011 9:41 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Will be looking to get this going again, not sure how to go about it though, should I just post the DP or start over again? Any thoughts?
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PostPosted: Wed Jun 08, 2011 10:05 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well, I'm gonna wanna re-read the start there so just letting us know you're planning on proceeding is a good start. Give me a day or two to get back 'round here.
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PostPosted: Thu Jun 16, 2011 1:41 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

So for anyone still interested here are some very basic descriptions of the three areas that people have a choice of.

The first invasion took place in 490 BC. Darius I was the Persian King at this time. Darius I decided to conquer all of Greece. At first the Persians conquered everyone they met. Darius I sent advisers to Greece. Sparta and Athens refused his control and killed the Persian advisers. Darius I became very upset about this. He took his army to fight the Greeks at Marathon. Marathon was a beach 26 miles east of Athens. The Persians lost this battle

The second invasion of Greece by the Persians happened in the year 480 BC. Xerxes was the Persian King at this time. He gathered a huge army. This army attacked the Greeks at Thermopylae, a town just north of Athens. Three hundred Spartans under the leadership of Leonidas I fought in this battle until the last Greek fell

The Persians were finally defeated by the Greek navy in a bloody sea battle. Fewer than 400 Greek ships under the Athenian general Themistocles beat 1200 Persian ships. Xerxes went home after the defeat. However, he left a large army in Greece. The Spartans and Athenians fought the Persian army. The combined forces were able to beat the Persians.

Will give it a little while to give people a chance to catch up with this and then put a poll up.
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PostPosted: Fri Jun 24, 2011 6:42 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well I've put a poll up for this story in the hope that people might read it and vote so that I can continue with it. Not planning on being away for a large amount of time like last time I started this so am looking forward to working on it.

Cheers
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PostPosted: Sat Jun 25, 2011 9:47 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm glad I reread and caught back up to this. It's really only on one chapter so far so I'd invite others to do the same. Quite an interesting plot premise, even if the DP was a bit challenging on history knowledge Wink I'm thinking most of us here would revisit the 300 battle anyhow.

Anyways... sorry for taking so long to getting back around to this - trying to do some overall catchup today. Looking forward to more and hoping others will catch on here too.
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PostPosted: Thu Jun 30, 2011 2:04 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Is one vote enough to get the next chapter going? It's been a few days since I put the poll up.
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Where does Hilton go to?
Marathon
0%
 0%  [ 0 ]
Thermopylae
100%
 100%  [ 1 ]
Naval Battle
0%
 0%  [ 0 ]
Total Votes : 1
Who Voted: Thunderbird

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