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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Topics: 340 Posts: 8881 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends
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Posted: Fri Dec 21, 2007 5:56 am Post subject: Avarice - chapter 16. Blue. |
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deleted _________________ Neil Hartley Books.
My Amazon page.
Last edited by Chinaren on Sat May 31, 2008 5:03 pm; edited 3 times in total
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Cyberworm Respected Citizen
Joined: 19 Aug 2007 Topics: 5 Posts: 652 Location: Spatially found, temporal lockdown. Items Legends
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Posted: Fri Dec 21, 2007 7:29 am Post subject: |
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Great read there China, great read indeed!
I don't know the city plan, so I can't really tell where to search from and to, but my suggestion is to separate in two groups and simultaneously search the underground. Yeah, I know it's not the suggestion you expected, but I think that the below ground is the best hiding place. If any, of course. _________________ Slit and Slide
One man's journey through the possibilities of solving what he says is a murder. What was it? Try not to forget.
Beyond Good and Evil
Could it be that being good is not good at all?
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Mephistopheles Respected Citizen
Joined: 24 May 2007 Topics: 16 Posts: 612 Location: Not where I want to be. Items Legends
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Posted: Fri Dec 21, 2007 9:05 am Post subject: |
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good read china! hmm, perhaps they should head to the door/gateway? maybe they will find something there. otherwise, no good ideas right now. _________________ Cause I am, whatever you say I am
If I wasn't, then why would I say I am?
I don't know, it's just the way I am.
eminem
without the threat of death,
there is no reason to live at all
marilyn manson
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algu95 Citizen
Joined: 04 Mar 2007 Topics: 0 Posts: 265 Location: Trudging around in Allwhere Items Legends
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Posted: Fri Dec 21, 2007 10:01 am Post subject: |
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Turn into two seperate groups (do they have radio contact?) and send done to search the City. The others should search the underground...
Otherwise, a Good Read! _________________ Yes, no, what, hello?
Falcon Lord, a linear story by algu!
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Topics: 340 Posts: 8881 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends
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Posted: Fri Dec 21, 2007 4:24 pm Post subject: |
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Underground could indeed be an option. Mmmm. ~Thinks~ Interesting ideas come from that one.
Just to help, some others places we've already been are:
Draggon's tribe, the tower with the future portal, the cellar with the dead dragon in...
But don't limit yourself to just those oh no. _________________ Neil Hartley Books.
My Amazon page.
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D-Lotus Venerable IFian
Joined: 21 Oct 2004 Topics: 103 Posts: 4123 Location: Hollywood, USA Items Legends
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Posted: Fri Dec 21, 2007 9:10 pm Post subject: |
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Quote: | “Leave him!” said Smur dismissively. “We’ve more important things to do.”
Smith frowned at him. “He’s a person, with a right to help, just as you and your daughter are.”
Smur opened his mouth, but then closed it again with a snap. He watched, fretting as the man slung Mestro onto his shoulders and headed back the way they had come. |
Yes! I was beginning to worry that Smur was softening too quickly, but he is still as repulsive as ever. Good characterization. This chapter was better than the last because a large part of it was dedicated to Smur's thoughts and personality.
Hmm, where hasn't Smur searched? Messy had a good idea- the underground. Underground what, though? Underground subway, of course! The old subway that remained nearly intact from the bombing (remember the bombing of London in WWII? People took refuge in the subways because they were the safest places).
Otherwise, he may also want to check in the Petrified Forest (trees made into stone by a chemical processes released by the bombs). Or they could search the Dead Lake (similar to the Dead Sea). _________________ Chapter 5: The Rendezvous
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Topics: 340 Posts: 8881 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends
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Posted: Fri Dec 21, 2007 10:00 pm Post subject: |
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Thanks D!
Well, if they were at war, it's likely they had underground bunkers somewhere too. _________________ Neil Hartley Books.
My Amazon page.
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The Meaning Of Fear Respected Citizen
Joined: 06 May 2006 Topics: 13 Posts: 980 Location: In a deep, dark corner of the universe, plotting. Items Legends
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Posted: Sat Dec 22, 2007 1:18 am Post subject: |
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This was a great chapter, C'ren, but I don't have any suggestions.
I do, however, agree that heading to draggon's is a good idea. _________________ Cherish all your memories, even the bad ones, for they are what makes you who you are.
Doors to the truth, an SG where a boy is propelled into worlds he is unfamiliar with. He crosses many worlds, and sees many things that force him to throw away his innocence, once, and for all. Fourth Chapter, out for viewing!
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DELETED Guest
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Posted: Mon Dec 24, 2007 6:23 pm Post subject: |
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OldJoe Citizen
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Posted: Wed Dec 26, 2007 9:03 pm Post subject: |
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Ahm thinking a good leader'll have a hidey hole ter fall back ter. Smur should track the critter down. _________________ Get off yer horse and drink yer milk.
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Mephistopheles Respected Citizen
Joined: 24 May 2007 Topics: 16 Posts: 612 Location: Not where I want to be. Items Legends
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Posted: Thu Dec 27, 2007 3:29 am Post subject: |
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I would love to take credit for underground, but that was algu. And i meant the gateway in the abandoned building, the future portal. maybe other's found it, and it remains open after having been unlocked. _________________ Cause I am, whatever you say I am
If I wasn't, then why would I say I am?
I don't know, it's just the way I am.
eminem
without the threat of death,
there is no reason to live at all
marilyn manson
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Cyberworm Respected Citizen
Joined: 19 Aug 2007 Topics: 5 Posts: 652 Location: Spatially found, temporal lockdown. Items Legends
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Posted: Thu Dec 27, 2007 5:39 am Post subject: |
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I was generalizing the underground, though the subway sounds like a pretty good idea. Maybe their captain occupied Smur's lair?
That would be a laugh and a pain at the same time. _________________ Slit and Slide
One man's journey through the possibilities of solving what he says is a murder. What was it? Try not to forget.
Beyond Good and Evil
Could it be that being good is not good at all?
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Topics: 340 Posts: 8881 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends
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Posted: Thu Dec 27, 2007 9:42 pm Post subject: |
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Smur's hole is too small really Cy, but interesting idea.
Anyway, lots of good ideas here. So, poll is up, drink the scummy liquid of voting. _________________ Neil Hartley Books.
My Amazon page.
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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D-Lotus Venerable IFian
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Posted: Wed Jan 02, 2008 10:24 pm Post subject: |
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Oops. I missed the poll. I was going to vote for the petrified forest, if it helps any. _________________ Chapter 5: The Rendezvous
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Topics: 340 Posts: 8881 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends
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Posted: Thu Jan 03, 2008 12:43 am Post subject: |
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D-Lotus wrote: | Oops. I missed the poll. I was going to vote for the petrified forest, if it helps any. |
I didn't think I closed the poll!?! If you wish to vote, please PM me or respond here. I'm not quite ready to start this one yet. _________________ Neil Hartley Books.
My Amazon page.
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Mattheus Resident
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Posted: Thu Jan 03, 2008 2:30 am Post subject: Story Poll |
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Hi I liked that chapter, might have to read the others as well to get an overall idea of how they got to where they are.
I can't vote on the poll, has it been closed?
I liked the idea of splitting into two groups.
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Topics: 340 Posts: 8881 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends
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Posted: Thu Jan 03, 2008 4:11 am Post subject: |
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I don't know why the poll is closed, maybe I did it by accident when I was drunk or something.
Anyway, we have +1 for the forest, and +1 for splitting in two. _________________ Neil Hartley Books.
My Amazon page.
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The Meaning Of Fear Respected Citizen
Joined: 06 May 2006 Topics: 13 Posts: 980 Location: In a deep, dark corner of the universe, plotting. Items Legends
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Posted: Sun Jan 06, 2008 1:27 am Post subject: |
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Split into two. _________________ Cherish all your memories, even the bad ones, for they are what makes you who you are.
Doors to the truth, an SG where a boy is propelled into worlds he is unfamiliar with. He crosses many worlds, and sees many things that force him to throw away his innocence, once, and for all. Fourth Chapter, out for viewing!
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DELETED Guest
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Posted: Mon Jan 07, 2008 1:16 pm Post subject: |
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CunningFox Citizen
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Posted: Tue Jan 08, 2008 5:29 am Post subject: |
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I vote for the stone forest. _________________ Just browsing, thank-you.
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OldJoe Citizen
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Posted: Fri Jan 11, 2008 5:49 pm Post subject: |
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Ah vote fer the forest. _________________ Get off yer horse and drink yer milk.
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Topics: 340 Posts: 8881 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends
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Posted: Sat Jan 12, 2008 6:29 am Post subject: |
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Update:
We have +3 for the forest, and +2 for splitting in two and +1 for the portal.
I'll be starting the next chapter soon, but the 'poll' will remain open until then. _________________ Neil Hartley Books.
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Topics: 340 Posts: 8881 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends
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Posted: Tue Jan 15, 2008 5:33 pm Post subject: |
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I've started the new chapter at last, though who knows when I'll get chance to finish it with RL banging away at me all the time.
Anyway, poll is now (officially this time) closed. Thanks for playing y'all! _________________ Neil Hartley Books.
My Amazon page.
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Where to look? |
Underground |
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25% |
[ 1 ] |
To the tower with the portal, and the portal. |
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0% |
[ 0 ] |
Split into two - Overland and underground |
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25% |
[ 1 ] |
The petrified forest. |
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25% |
[ 1 ] |
Draggons' tribe. |
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0% |
[ 0 ] |
Rendolf's bolt hole. |
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25% |
[ 1 ] |
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Total Votes : 4 |
Who Voted: Chinaren, Crunchyfrog, Cyberworm, Mephistopheles |
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You cannot post new topics in this forum You cannot reply to topics in this forum You cannot edit your posts in this forum You cannot delete your posts in this forum You cannot vote in polls in this forum
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