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D-Lotus Venerable IFian
Joined: 21 Oct 2004 Topics: 103 Posts: 4123 Location: Hollywood, USA Items Legends
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Posted: Mon Apr 11, 2005 2:39 pm Post subject: Bushido: Chapter 10: Death |
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Kihachi smiled.
"Bitch, you think I don't know that all you want is this knife?"
He chipped more paint out of it to reveal Monako's solid gold dagger.
She staggered back.
"I am saving a lot of people a lot of time this way." said Kihachi.
He plunged the dagger into his bowels.
"I only wish Juanito was here to cut off my head."
Blood poured out of his stomach.
And then he died.
At last reunited with what is the true essence of mu and the code of Bushido.
In some far off place, a blonde-headed simple man called Juanito felt a pang of pain in his heart started crying without any reason at all.
____________________________
"You must understand compassion to your servants. With their hard work, you manage to eat every day. Learn this lesson well and then I shall come back."
"Yes, my lord." said Monako bowing down.
The man left and Monako ran upstairs to vent his fury on whomever he found first.
____________________________
The woman sat next to Kihachi's cadaver without moving.
Then she quickly drew back his body and withdrew the bloodied knife.
She sprinted out of the room, only to find herself face to face with Monako.
A glint of yellow shone out through the blood in the knife.
Monako knew instinctively who's the knife was.
He withdrew his sword and in one clean motion chopped the girl in half.
She screamed in pain, but soon died.
He looked inside the room and saw all that happened in his mind.
He stood in front of Kihachi's body and slowly, ever so slowly bowed down to him.
"I am sorry for what I did to you Kihachi, I am sorry."
Then he slowly got up again, wiped his sword and swung at Kihachi's head.
The severed member rolled off.
"You are now forgiven, my servant."
He stood there for a couple more seconds before mumbling something.
"Bushido...why are you so cruel?"
___________________________________ _________________ Chapter 5: The Rendezvous
Last edited by D-Lotus on Wed Apr 20, 2005 6:16 pm; edited 3 times in total
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ethereal_fauna Perpetually Distracted
Joined: 16 Feb 2005 Topics: 58 Posts: 2567 Location: USA Items Legends
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Posted: Mon Apr 11, 2005 2:52 pm Post subject: |
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WaaaAAhh! That was so sad.
Short too, I feel unfulfilled... _________________ The maker of a sentence launches out into the infinite and builds a road into Chaos and old Night, and is followed by those who hear him with something of wild, creative delight. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Reiso Respected Citizen
Joined: 27 Oct 2004 Topics: 17 Posts: 917 Location: Western North America Items Legends
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Posted: Mon Apr 11, 2005 3:08 pm Post subject: |
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I agree that it's sad, but I am glad it was short. Lingering pain and death would have been even more sad.
Is taking your own life for vengeance and spite truly Bushido, though? I'm not sure. It almost seems like a surrender.
In any case, he has acheived victory - even in death, and that is definitely the mark of a Samurai.
By the way D-Lotus, believe it or not, this is the short version of my post.
I would say it only rates one out of your usual three 'Blahs' before asking 'who cares?', maybe even only half a blah.
Seriously though, good story man. Great ending. _________________
Sector 17 -- Rebuilding... ... ...
In the desert
I saw a creature, naked, bestial,
Who, squatting upon the ground,
Held his heart in his hands,
And ate of it.
I said, "Is it good, friend?"
"It is bitter--bitter," he answered;
"But I like it
Because it is bitter
And because it is my heart." -- Stephen Crane
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D-Lotus Venerable IFian
Joined: 21 Oct 2004 Topics: 103 Posts: 4123 Location: Hollywood, USA Items Legends
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Posted: Mon Apr 11, 2005 4:21 pm Post subject: |
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I just posted this half an hour ago...incredible....
Truth is...I wrote this in a burst of anger when Rave told me that no one gives a *** about this story.....
Not that it's her fault, I accept the truth... _________________ Chapter 5: The Rendezvous
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D-Lotus Venerable IFian
Joined: 21 Oct 2004 Topics: 103 Posts: 4123 Location: Hollywood, USA Items Legends
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Posted: Mon Apr 11, 2005 7:38 pm Post subject: |
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Quote: | Is taking your own life for vengeance and spite truly Bushido, though? I'm not sure. It almost seems like a surrender. |
His master told him not to kill the man in an inderect way.
In order to satisfy the revenge of his family and village, he sacrificed himself, knowing that Monako would command him to commit seppuku anyway, and this way not being dishonered (dishonored by being asked to commit seppuku for disobeying, although some people would think that commiting seppuku for your master was honorable. Point is, he was gonna be done for anyway, so he did it before his master came.) , he did something very honorable.
How does it seem like a surrender. He was obeying the codes.
If he ran away it would be total dishonor.
Anyway, although this was short, I think it hid a lot of meaning.
Like the girl. She was so crazed for the knife she actually withdrew it from his bloodied body.
And Monako...he seemed evil but in the end he turned good.
I actually had many other plans for the story, but I decided to cut it short.
Oh, I changed the content a little, since I at first wrote it in such a rush.
Oh, if someone has a question about this:
Even though Monako had forgiven his servant before he killed himself, he had to kill him anyway, or he would be seen as weak, for a servant had challenged his authority.
Kihachi, however, saved him a lot of face by comitting seppuku. _________________ Chapter 5: The Rendezvous
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saxon215 Guest
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Posted: Tue Apr 12, 2005 3:46 am Post subject: |
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short sharp and sweltering
the end chapter was very philosophical in the way that what he did would seam bad but was good i enhoyed it altho i thought it too short
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Muaddib Comrade
Joined: 31 Dec 2004 Topics: 30 Posts: 1765
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Posted: Tue Apr 12, 2005 6:52 am Post subject: |
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I cant believe you screwed your character...
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Reiso Respected Citizen
Joined: 27 Oct 2004 Topics: 17 Posts: 917 Location: Western North America Items Legends
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Posted: Tue Apr 12, 2005 11:39 am Post subject: |
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I only say it seemed like a surrender because he took his life in front of someone who was an enemy to him, without being certain that she would get hers in the end. She may have found a way to escape. With no one there to be his second, I suppose he had little choice in the matter, though.
I could be the only one who sees it that way. Maybe I just have a skewed view. _________________
Sector 17 -- Rebuilding... ... ...
In the desert
I saw a creature, naked, bestial,
Who, squatting upon the ground,
Held his heart in his hands,
And ate of it.
I said, "Is it good, friend?"
"It is bitter--bitter," he answered;
"But I like it
Because it is bitter
And because it is my heart." -- Stephen Crane
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Ravenwing Honorable IFian
Joined: 18 May 2004 Topics: 17 Posts: 3750 Location: Virginia Items Legends
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Posted: Thu Apr 14, 2005 3:24 pm Post subject: |
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Short, and descriptive. Wonderful ending D, despite all the sadness and death. 8) _________________ Stories
New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice.
Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM)
Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words)
Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall.
-Confucius
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kenshin himura Citizen
Joined: 10 Mar 2004 Topics: 1 Posts: 333 Location: in your dreams Items Legends
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Posted: Fri Apr 15, 2005 10:28 am Post subject: |
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It has been a long jerny since our poor pesent went to find samuri to protect our village. to bad he is dead. _________________ Ish yara al-ahdab hadbat-u
(a hunchback does not see his own hunch. -folk saying)
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saxon215 Guest
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Posted: Sat Apr 16, 2005 6:18 am Post subject: |
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a story of a rise in greatness and finding where you belong, theres been alot lost along the way a wife and am vilage an friends but forgiing of many new friendships and becoming one with bushido
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Muaddib Comrade
Joined: 31 Dec 2004 Topics: 30 Posts: 1765
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Posted: Sat Apr 16, 2005 6:25 am Post subject: |
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Thank God its over Jk D
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Ravenwing Honorable IFian
Joined: 18 May 2004 Topics: 17 Posts: 3750 Location: Virginia Items Legends
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Posted: Sun Apr 17, 2005 11:05 am Post subject: |
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Soon it will be sent to dark recesses of the Archives where all finished storygames go. 8) _________________ Stories
New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice.
Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM)
Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words)
Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall.
-Confucius
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Posted: Sun Apr 17, 2005 11:35 am Post subject: |
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Yeah, well, thanks for being with me for all this time and yadayadayada.... :mrgreen:
- D-Lotus
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D-Lotus Venerable IFian
Joined: 21 Oct 2004 Topics: 103 Posts: 4123 Location: Hollywood, USA Items Legends
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Posted: Tue Apr 19, 2005 2:24 pm Post subject: |
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Ok, this chapter is closed. Please discuss in epilogue.... _________________ Chapter 5: The Rendezvous
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You cannot post new topics in this forum You can reply to topics in this forum You cannot edit your posts in this forum You cannot delete your posts in this forum You cannot vote in polls in this forum
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