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Alegria Honored Citizen
Joined: 04 Mar 2005 Topics: 76 Posts: 1199 Location: On the beaches with Dr. Suess' Sneeches. Only the star-bellied ones, of course. Items Legends
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Posted: Thu Apr 21, 2005 1:32 pm Post subject: |
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Sojourner's Journey
Chapter 3
Tenusche
Ouran tossed and turned in his sleep as Morpheus tried to send him many nightmares, with congeniality mixed in. Many were sent away, but the Rinosian had some very strange dreams that day.
Ouran was on a different world. Majestic cities floated in the air, as if gravity had no hold here. He then realized that he was flying. This normally wouldn't be too weird, he had six wings, but this time he was using none of them. He saw the cities, and then a light appeared, a bright white light. It was Crystal magic, he could feel it. The light molded itself into a being, a girl with long hair and a long flowing robe.
"Hello, I am Tenusche," said the being
Ouran tried to respond, but nothing came out.
"This is a dream, do not worry, you cannot talk in this figment. This is the world the Rinosians came from long ago. It was soon destroyed by invaders, though, and became too radioactive for life."
Ouran looked around at his homeland, but the woman directed his attention to one spot she spoke like a babbling brook. "Look, and see the rise of your people, and what you must search for."
As Ouran beheld an open plain, a streak of color was visible in the sky, and a sphere about three feet in diameter landed with a crash nearby. The sphere could only be one thing--the crystal!
Ouran felt the world twist and mutate. In dreams one knows more than what he regularly does, and he knew that he was going across space and time, to learn something else. He found himself in a city surrounded by walls. He was on a rampart beholding a mob of humans besieging the city, and the winged people next to him were losing to the enemy.
Tenusche appeared at his side, “This is the Rinosian city before you came. You had been here a time before now, but went to a different world, and later came back.”
A man beside Ouran barked, “It’s too late, Atlantis is falling, we must evacuate.”
Atlantis…What? Ouran puzzled this perplexing paradox. Then, as if she could read his mind, the glowing lady said, “Atlantis and the Rinosian city are one and the same. Atlantis was buried, until you came back and your fathers found it. They waited until they would come back, as you will have to come back for your next lesson.”
Ouran woke to the sounds of Alyssa telling her ever winding tale, and once she finished, all three in the room shot inquisitive looks at Ouran. Ouran prepared to speak, oh what a wondrous gift speech is! He then thought, the girl is an outsider, should I say in her presence, should I tell them of my dream at all?
Descision Point
What does Ouran say? _________________ A writer doesn't solve problems. He allows them to emerge.
-Friedrich Dürrenmatt
Last edited by Alegria on Fri Apr 22, 2005 3:19 pm; edited 1 time in total
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ethereal_fauna Perpetually Distracted
Joined: 16 Feb 2005 Topics: 58 Posts: 2567 Location: USA Items Legends
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Posted: Thu Apr 21, 2005 1:47 pm Post subject: |
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Alegria wrote: | He then realized that he was flying. This normally wouldn't be too weird, he had six wings, but this time he was using none of them. |
I like the confusion and dreamlike unreality this idea conveys.
I doubt Ouran will tell of his dream just yet. I think he instead focuses attention on Alyssa and brings the conversation around to a discussion about her. _________________ The maker of a sentence launches out into the infinite and builds a road into Chaos and old Night, and is followed by those who hear him with something of wild, creative delight. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Alegria Honored Citizen
Joined: 04 Mar 2005 Topics: 76 Posts: 1199 Location: On the beaches with Dr. Suess' Sneeches. Only the star-bellied ones, of course. Items Legends
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Posted: Fri Apr 22, 2005 12:29 pm Post subject: |
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I'm glad you liked it, I personally don't know why I made the city Atlantis, but I think I may use that recurring theme of the mysterious- stonehenge, loch ness, etc... in my story. _________________ A writer doesn't solve problems. He allows them to emerge.
-Friedrich Dürrenmatt
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Alegria Honored Citizen
Joined: 04 Mar 2005 Topics: 76 Posts: 1199 Location: On the beaches with Dr. Suess' Sneeches. Only the star-bellied ones, of course. Items Legends
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Posted: Wed Apr 27, 2005 12:36 pm Post subject: |
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Um, we need some ideas for the next chapter, don't forget!!! _________________ A writer doesn't solve problems. He allows them to emerge.
-Friedrich Dürrenmatt
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ethereal_fauna Perpetually Distracted
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Posted: Thu May 05, 2005 2:35 pm Post subject: |
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As I said, I think we need to find out a little more about Alyssa and the role she plays in this adventure. Ouran is going to focus his attention on her. _________________ The maker of a sentence launches out into the infinite and builds a road into Chaos and old Night, and is followed by those who hear him with something of wild, creative delight. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Muaddib Comrade
Joined: 31 Dec 2004 Topics: 30 Posts: 1765
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Posted: Thu May 05, 2005 5:04 pm Post subject: |
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Great chapter, though slightly confusing. Please try to make the complex history clearer. Since Ouran is obviously going to be your main man, I think we should follow him around like dogs, little puppies with large drooping ears and large round brown eyes, and tongues hanging out, bumping into walls....
Wha..!!!What ?What just happened?
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Alegria Honored Citizen
Joined: 04 Mar 2005 Topics: 76 Posts: 1199 Location: On the beaches with Dr. Suess' Sneeches. Only the star-bellied ones, of course. Items Legends
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Posted: Fri May 06, 2005 12:30 pm Post subject: |
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Um...OK. Nice analogy, yes it is true that Ouran is the hero, but I would like to make clear that there are two main characters. Alyssa is the heroine.
By the way, in case you haven't noticed, this story is also sorta sci-fi. So after this is finished, I think I might make a sci fi Sojourner's Journey about the Rinos in an ultra technological future. It can also deal with the "other world" issue in the story. What do you think? _________________ A writer doesn't solve problems. He allows them to emerge.
-Friedrich Dürrenmatt
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ethereal_fauna Perpetually Distracted
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Posted: Fri May 06, 2005 12:36 pm Post subject: |
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Sounds good to me, or write them simultaneously if possible. _________________ The maker of a sentence launches out into the infinite and builds a road into Chaos and old Night, and is followed by those who hear him with something of wild, creative delight. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Alegria Honored Citizen
Joined: 04 Mar 2005 Topics: 76 Posts: 1199 Location: On the beaches with Dr. Suess' Sneeches. Only the star-bellied ones, of course. Items Legends
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Posted: Fri May 06, 2005 4:55 pm Post subject: |
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Yes, but knowing me (which I do very well), I would give some major part of something away. And, if the new storygame is after this one, there would probably be reference to the events in it. _________________ A writer doesn't solve problems. He allows them to emerge.
-Friedrich Dürrenmatt
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Muaddib Comrade
Joined: 31 Dec 2004 Topics: 30 Posts: 1765
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Posted: Sat May 07, 2005 1:27 am Post subject: |
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Effervescent Muaddib raises his right hand in benediction and thus he spake,"Keep it simple child."
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Alegria Honored Citizen
Joined: 04 Mar 2005 Topics: 76 Posts: 1199 Location: On the beaches with Dr. Suess' Sneeches. Only the star-bellied ones, of course. Items Legends
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Posted: Thu May 12, 2005 2:30 am Post subject: |
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Alegria responds, "I shall heed your words."
Anyway, enough speculating, I'm setting up the poll in one day, are there any more ideas?
Speak now or forever hold your peace _________________ A writer doesn't solve problems. He allows them to emerge.
-Friedrich Dürrenmatt
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D-Lotus Venerable IFian
Joined: 21 Oct 2004 Topics: 103 Posts: 4123 Location: Hollywood, USA Items Legends
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Posted: Thu May 12, 2005 5:52 am Post subject: |
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Great story, Alegria....oh by the way, any reason why you are called Alegria and your avatar is gloomy and spooky?
Alegria= happiness in spanish _________________ Chapter 5: The Rendezvous
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Alegria Honored Citizen
Joined: 04 Mar 2005 Topics: 76 Posts: 1199 Location: On the beaches with Dr. Suess' Sneeches. Only the star-bellied ones, of course. Items Legends
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Posted: Fri May 13, 2005 4:34 am Post subject: |
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I'm called Alegria because that is the name of a Cirque du Soleil song, and it also means happiness in Spanish, as you alreday know(all my usuals were used, in other words). I always thought that my avatar looked like a wise old storyteller.
Anyway, glad you like the story! _________________ A writer doesn't solve problems. He allows them to emerge.
-Friedrich Dürrenmatt
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D-Lotus Venerable IFian
Joined: 21 Oct 2004 Topics: 103 Posts: 4123 Location: Hollywood, USA Items Legends
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Posted: Sat May 14, 2005 7:49 am Post subject: |
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Oh, from far away, it looks like a tatooed guy with a big hood....but if I squint, I can see the storyteller... _________________ Chapter 5: The Rendezvous
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Muaddib Comrade
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Posted: Sat May 14, 2005 3:00 pm Post subject: |
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No offence Alegria but I thought it looked like a grandma. By the way if you write just one more chapter, I'll nominate this story. It's really very good.
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Alegria Honored Citizen
Joined: 04 Mar 2005 Topics: 76 Posts: 1199 Location: On the beaches with Dr. Suess' Sneeches. Only the star-bellied ones, of course. Items Legends
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Posted: Mon May 16, 2005 4:26 pm Post subject: |
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Thank you. No offense taken on the avater... gotta find a new one (go to Google!)
Sorry I don't have the poll up yet. _________________ A writer doesn't solve problems. He allows them to emerge.
-Friedrich Dürrenmatt
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