City of IF

saxon215 · Guest

i saw the holographic robots of D and Saxon fighting and was glad they remained intact
i opened the sunroof and kicked phangs feet out from under her so she fell behind.
"nice work", D said but at that point in time he swerved rpound a particularly sharp corner and i was thrown off the back of the car into and through the wall of another house. Mordoks house!!!
he was on the ground pumping beer into his mouth from a keg so i grabbed his shitgun and bit the end off
"Woew dude check it out that gnarly beast sawndoff'd your shotgun", one of Mordoks drinking buddies said and then fell over.
as i came back out of the wall he car waited before me but D was nowhere in sight.
i slipped myself into the car and was about to insert one of my favorite vcd's when i found it didnt have a cd player, not even a nomal tape player what it had was so oldschool it was kindergarten
"an eight track!!!!", i growled in shock

D-Lotus · Posted: Sun Mar 27, 2005 10:18 am Post subject:

D was there.

He had gone out of his way to get saxon because he knew saxon would protect him in case something happened...his torpedo launchers had run out against some more of Smee's robots, which got harder to kill everytime.

There, it's Mordok's house, and Mordok's house is right next to Smee's!

D curved and launched saxon off the side...he needed the brute no longer.

The cars little tricks and traps would no longer work against Smee's machines.

It was now only between Smee and him.

Boldly he walked up to the door.

SLAM!

He kicked the door open.

Smee stood there, in front of one of the biggest machines D had seen in his life.

D smiled.

"Smee, your little holograms aren't going to trick me."

No answer.

"Then I guess you won't mind if I do this?"

D pulled out a gun and started shooting randomly everywhere.

The hologram of Smee took two bullets and landed on the floor.

He shot randomly again.

Suddenly he saw a wierd spark, and watched the real machine go out.

He smiled again.

Then he felt something standing behind him.

He stopped smiling as he turned around to find Smee with a crowbar lifted over his head directly behind him.

He swung the crowbar down clumsily.

Probably the only thing that saved D as he blocked it with his gun, which flew out of his hand.

Smee swung again, but this time D caught a hold of his crowbar, and they both fell tumbling to the floor, struggling...

Note: How'd you guys make it to the city of if in one post when I took like four posts?

Smee · Guest Joined: 16 Oct 2004 Posts: 5202 Location: UK

Once again everything was going wrong.

No sooner had I tracked down the place where Sax had found the key I heard an alarm go off again. Somehow Sax had broken out of the loop and was back in the illusion.

Wild readings smeared themselves over the monitors as he took out his rage on a few camera's. I watched in morbid fascination as he spun round and round. Stop it...the key is more important. My mental admonistration forced me back to the important issue.

The key wasn't there. A camera I'd stationed over the spot could just make out a once again winged Phang flying off - the much stronger signal of the Key clearly in her clutches. But wait...that wasn't quite true...signal analysis showed something else controlling Phang - the Key.

With vital urgency I searched Phang's read outs - the Key was definately on a mission, it had much more awareness and was eminating massive power. Words burned in to the readouts - CAR, CITY.

The word city reminded me just in time to see D roaring back into the city with Saxon beside him. The car he was in seemed real, yet it was stupidly over-powered. Looking over the city I could see that most of my robots had been taken out, and the weapons analysis of the car showed how that had happened. Thankfully it was reporting zero ammo left.

Phang suddenly landed on the car, forcing the occupants to stop. Saxon kicked her and she fell off as they swerved violently round a corner. The Key, I needed the key..no time...

They'd crashed into Mordoks house, but already D was running straight for the main doors.

I had seconds, my hands a flurry at the controls as I started up my final defences. He was too close for just about everything I had. Was I really reduced to this...I picked up the crowbar and hid behind a console as the holoimage of myself appeared at the controls.

It'd had barely started when SLAM - the front door burst open.

D was framed in the lighted doorway, and came running in.

"Smee, your little holograms aren't going to trick me."

I wasn't going to answer...I needed stealth...

"Then I guess you won't mind if I do this?"

He immediately shot at my hologram and I winced as he destroyed my first prototype machine - I'd spent years on that.

Walking slowly, but deliberatly, I approached him from behind, the crowbar raised, ready to finish it. Somehow he felt my approach and spun round at the last second. My blow glanced of his gun, jarring my arm with the vibrations as his gun was knocked away.

I swung wildly again, but he caught my half-hearted attack and we tumbled to the ground in a ugly wrestle.

A punch to my face almost knocked me out, but I fought the stars and managed to get a knee into his groin. As we both rolled away, consciousness an effort for both of us I banged my shoulder into my console. With instinct alone I pressed the large red button I really didn't want to press.

The world went black...white....green...blue....colours swirled around everyone in the world. More colours than could be followed, or recognise. Everyone fell to their knees, no longer knowing up, or down or what the words even meant. Nothing mattered, nothing was or would ever be....

SLAM...

The World came back.

King Keavney strolled down the stairs to a mighty castle, smiling at everyone sat bewildered in front of him. Everyone was there, I was as was D, Sax, Fauna, Mordok, Raven, InsaneCP and a fully restored Phang.

We sat on a beautifully manicured lawn, with a crystal blue sky overhead.

Looking at each of our faces, seeing the confusion Keavney let out a laugh...

"I should probably explain" he said....

OOC: I'm looking forward to the explanation. :) :wink:

D-Lotus · Posted: Sun Mar 27, 2005 11:36 am Post subject:

Beautiful Smee, beautiful.

I knew that if I left you there without defeating you you'd do something great like this.

Well Key, or Keavney, or whatever you are, tell us what's going on! :D

Keavney · Guest Joined: 27 Mar 2005 Posts: 1

"I'm glad to see you all survived your adventure," said the King. "Even my little Key came through all right," he laughs, holding up a golden key fastened around his neck.

"As you may be starting to remember by now, this world, the planet of IF, was designed for the amusement and education of visitors like yourselves, a place where people could feel free to explore the possibilities of their imagination without the constraints of reality.

"To that end, elaborate machines for manipulating the physical world were built, machines that could change the molecular structure of the human body - or of the world itself - in response to thoughts. To keep these changes safe and under control, the machines were run by a sophisticated set of supercomputers.

"Unfortunately, sometime during your stay here, there was a breakdown in the system. You see, it was designed to anticipate a certain level of creativity, but for some reason the group of you had much stranger and wilder thoughts than the norm. It strained the limits of the engine, and the computer couldn't handle it.

"So the system crashed, represented in this world by a meteor striking the planet. And when it came back up again, it was still not functioning properly. One of you - Smee - was able to get access and begin controlling things from the inside, which was never supposed to happen.

"Since I was outside, I could always have shut things down. But there's no telling what that might have done to you - your minds might have been damaged by the sudden shock. What I needed was a way to shut things down gracefully, from inside the system. So I tried to get things under control by inserting a small object into the planet - a key - which had the codes necessary to initiate a graceful shutdown if properly invoked. I tried to gave the key a sort of rudimentary intelligence and personality so that it would be able to act in this world, but unfortunately that didn't work out too well. It only made the key confused; it thought it was me and started trying to take over.

"Thank goodness D-Lotus managed to break into the operator room where Smee was, and in their confrontation, Smee hit the button which initiated a graceful shutdown of the entire system. Once it was down, I could bring it back up under my control in a safer, more limited mode, which I have now done. You'll find that you can't change reality as easily as you could before, but things won't get out of hand again.

"So please enjoy the rest of your stay here in the City of IF. And once again, welcome back."

"As for myself," says the King, "I've got a lot of work to do figuring out what went wrong and how to fix it." He smiles ruefully and walks off, muttering "Next time I'll do something simpler. Like a web site..."

Phang · Posted: Sun Mar 27, 2005 1:49 pm Post subject:

:D

Lack of ability to speak due to tiredness and shameless post increasing attempt Dept.

Reiso · Posted: Sun Mar 27, 2005 1:57 pm Post subject:

This was very entertaining. Now I'm sorry I stayed out of it.

Phang · Posted: Sun Mar 27, 2005 2:09 pm Post subject:

Must...not...put up...You are an Idiot...toon!
www.funnyjunk.com/pages/fool.htm
I failed. Sorry.

Smee · Guest Joined: 16 Oct 2004 Posts: 5202 Location: UK

WOW Excellent Keavney :shock: - sorry to leave the explanation to you - thanks for finding the time to registered a new account. :D :lol: :D

A lovely conclusion that wraps it all up nicely. :D

I can only say...

Happy Writing. :)

D-Lotus · Posted: Sun Mar 27, 2005 8:05 pm Post subject:

Now, now, Smee. As a chronicler of this story, I still have to wrap up a few points...like:

D waited patiently until Keavney was out of the room. Then, with a sudden surge of energy after the tirying voyage, he sprang directly on Smee.

The terrorized man sat there, frozen.

"I thought this is over!" he said.

"Oh, no it isn't....." said D.

He slapped Smee across the face a couple of times.

"That was for my own satisfaction. Now tell us what your sick experiment was about! We never really found out!"

Smee trembled.

"Tell us or I'll let saxon jump on you!"

Smee shuddered.

"Ok, ok, I'll tell you."

"Then hurry up, I have plans to take over the city again." D said...

Well Smee, I'm looking forward to YOUR explanation.

saxon215 · Guest

OOC: you bloody legends great explanation keavney beautiful ending guys this is proof we have something special here
and D i think we should leave that explanation to the much awaited sequal....

Phang · Posted: Sun Mar 27, 2005 10:32 pm Post subject:

D-Lotus wrote: Well Smee, I'm looking forward to YOUR explanation.

Mwahaha!

saxon215 wrote: the much awaited sequal...

Yay!

saxon215 · Guest

well im guessing about the sequel but i definately think we should have one

Phang · Posted: Sun Mar 27, 2005 11:21 pm Post subject:

Yes, it would calm down the enraged Vampire Idiot...

saxon215 · Guest

and these stories are so fun to write and everyone performs so well in them, even the ones that end up in the middle of the ocean in a small lifeboat with a tiger trying to imitate the life of Pi

Phang · Posted: Sun Mar 27, 2005 11:29 pm Post subject:

And the ones that try to take over the world from inside a computer...

saxon215 · Guest

i still dont see how that would work, you'd need so many extension cords, and what if you got a virus?

Phang · Posted: Sun Mar 27, 2005 11:33 pm Post subject:

>virus_detected

ARRRRRRRRRGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

saxon215 · Guest

hahahaha how do i get a doctor into the computer?

Phang · Posted: Sun Mar 27, 2005 11:41 pm Post subject:

I dunno, just do something! HELP!

saxon215 · Guest

ummm ummm ummm *presses the restart button*

Phang · Posted: Mon Mar 28, 2005 1:10 am Post subject:

No, young padawan, warn the computer and give it 10 seconds to sort itself out first you must. Then kick it you shall. Only then, when fail all else has, press restart button you must.

saxon215 · Guest

*boots the $h!t out of it

Phang · Posted: Mon Mar 28, 2005 1:21 am Post subject:

saxon215 · Guest

hmm an odd ocourence *gets out a sledge hammer* this ought to be fun

D-Lotus · Posted: Mon Mar 28, 2005 9:47 am Post subject:

Hurry up with the explanation Smee!

Smee · Guest Joined: 16 Oct 2004 Posts: 5202 Location: UK

Punches D back.

"You're going to have to wait a little longer for the explanation - I'm busy preparing my next plan to take over the world (and pass my degree)" :)

D-Lotus · Posted: Mon Mar 28, 2005 10:17 am Post subject:

You probably don't have an explanation....

Let's sax loose on Smee for 30 seconds.....after some intense....well, anyway, Smee came crying back....

"OK, I'll give ye all the ex you want..."

saxon215 · Guest

"why was he laughing for five minuets before he started crying out in pain?", D asks saxon.
"oh well my torture methods go like this first of i tell themmmy dick is bigger then therem and they laugh for about five minutes, the next thing i do is i show them my dick is bigger then theirs and no matter who i do it to, excluding females, they cry for a long long time" :lol:

kenshin himura · Posted: Tue Mar 29, 2005 10:00 am Post subject:

ok, now that is just disterbing! Im going to tell your mothers on you! :wink:

Phang · Posted: Tue Mar 29, 2005 10:02 am Post subject:

*stares in shock*...That is TWISTED!!!!!

D-Lotus · Posted: Tue Mar 29, 2005 10:06 am Post subject:

lol, Smee, I'll let him loose on you for ten minutes more if you don't confess right NOW!

Smee · Guest Joined: 16 Oct 2004 Posts: 5202 Location: UK

Sorry D-Lotus you are going to have to wait. The explanation is deep and involved, and I have a 200 hour project due to be handed in on the 8th April - I have approx 50-60 hours of it done.

I'm spending what little spare time I'm allowing myself to just keep up to date, and answer little posts where I can.

Patience. Or I'll set Saxon on you.:wink:

Phang · Posted: Tue Mar 29, 2005 1:07 pm Post subject:

No point Smee Hunting here-I don't want Saxon set on me.

D-Lotus · Posted: Tue Mar 29, 2005 9:50 pm Post subject:

ok then...now, should I release the sequel here or in a different thread.

Smee · Guest Joined: 16 Oct 2004 Posts: 5202 Location: UK

Definately a new thread, and we should wait a while - it's only just finished.

We may get some new regular members soon and the sequel can include them - make the story more fun with new people.

D-Lotus · Posted: Wed Mar 30, 2005 10:00 am Post subject:

But how do I lock this crap?

Smee · Guest Joined: 16 Oct 2004 Posts: 5202 Location: UK

That's down to Random - moderator.

Phang · Posted: Wed Mar 30, 2005 10:32 am Post subject:

D-Lotus wrote: crap

*Evil glare*