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Geek_girl72
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 Posted: Wed Oct 04, 2006 10:37 am Post subject: Beyond the Walls: New chapter out at last! |
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Warning! This chapter is long, and moves a little slow. Don't be discouraged! It'll pick up in the next chapter.
Chapter 1: Haven
James lay stretched out on the top of a grassy hill, eyes riveted on an old book and an intense concentration in her face. The Walls of Haven rose up all around her like waves on a stormy sea, poised to drown their victims without mercy. But James was blissfully unaware of this effect, for now. In her mind, she was plummeting through space in a crippled star ship, desperately fighting off a boarding party. Guns and fuel tanks were exploding, soldiers were shouting, and the commander was hit! The enemy surged forward; a medic bravely took up his leader’s weapon and fought to save him. The battle could go either way. Retreats. Advancing. Tactics. Shouting. The commander was on his feet again! But his men were falling. Explosions. Screams. Bravery. Suspense. Was it enough? Would good or evil win the day? James’ hart raced as the fight grew more desperate. Something had to give soon.
In the real world a cold gust of wind swept over the hill, but James didn’t notice. She stared into her book as if about to fall into it, her eyes sparkling and mouth moving in silent recitation of the words in front of her. In the distance, a voice called her name, but still she didn’t stir. Footsteps accompanied by labored breathing gradually grew louder until a slightly pudgy young man gained the peak. He mopped his brow and panted for a second then caught sight of the glued to her book. James was nothing remarkable to look at. Her hair was brown like most people in Haven, except for the barest hint of red. Her eyes were dull brown, her face nondescript. Just like most Haven women, she was roughly 5’7” and neither slim or plump. As far as appearances went, she was perfectly orthodox. Some would perhaps have called her pretty; others would most certainly have not. The young man belonged to the latter class. He shook his head in disgust at seeing her so engrossed and stalked towards her.
“I should have known you’d be here. Do you have any idea how long you’ve been missing?”
James started and glanced up at the red puffy face dripping with perspiration and annoyance. She rolled her eyes and snapped the book shut.
“Hello Brian, what horrible thing have I done now?”
“Only made half the city look for you. You can’t just disappear like this James.”
James stood to her feet and brushed the dirt and grass from her clothes a little too vigorously. She didn’t look Brian in the eye when she spoke.
“Half the city? More like Aunt Hazel and you. And I don’t know why you even bother.”
With that James headed down the hill. Brian followed in silence. Both James and Brian had grown up together in the same apartment building, and their parents had been good friends before James’ mother and father died. But the two teenagers themselves had nothing in common. Brian was docile, mild-mannered, and apparently profoundly content with his life. James couldn’t stand sitting still, had a quick temper, and was insatiably curious about everything. Their respective parents used to talk about how it was nice that two people could be so different and still be friends, but the real truth was that they had simply gotten used to each other, nothing more. Brian had about as much sympathy for James as he would a stray dog. He didn’t understand her. He did everything to show her he thought she was weird. He also teased her about her name constantly. In turn James ignored him as much as possible. As they made their way down hill, James looked at the Walls all around her and felt a weight descend on her shoulders. She never talked about it, but the sight of them depressed her. The great Walls that everyone else saw as safety made her feel trapped.
There was no spot in the city you couldn’t see them from. They shadowed the whole population with their inexorable reality. Sometimes James would stare at them and feel something very difficult to explain. It was like an echo. A message muffled by its own reverberation, followed by soul-shattering silence. It made James want to sob aloud whenever she felt it. And yet she would have rather died than stop feeling it. Though she couldn’t say why, James wanted nothing more than to share this secret with someone. But she never dared. It would have killed her to speak of something so personal, and be laughed at. And who would have understood anyway? No one knew or cared what lay outside Haven except James. And for all they knew there was no way out anyway. That thought rang in James head like a death sentence: There was no way out. She was stuck here. Trapped. Especially now, with Brian the Mindless Wonder walking beside her, James felt a despair so deep she believed she’d suffocate. But no matter how bad things are they can always get worse, as the saying goes. Brian decided to prove it by offering some constructive criticism.
“I don’t get why those stupid books are so important to you James, a lot of nonsense about wars that never happened and heroes that never lived. It’ll rot your brain if you let it.”
“A rotten brain is better than none at all.”
“Hey! Take it easy. I’m just trying to be helpful.”
“You’re trying to be superior. If you think you’re better than me just come right out and say it to my face. Don’t act like you mean well.”
“I do mean well. James, you’re not happy. Even I can see that. Why?”
James looked into Brian’s pudgy face that was etched with a concern atypical for him. She was silent a long time, than finally spoke.
“Brian, do you ever…wonder about stuff? About Haven?”
“What’s to wonder about? There are no closed off sections or anything like that.”
“That’s not what I meant. I mean, how did it get here? Who built it? Do you ever think about that?”
“Well, I can’t say I do. It’s here, we’re here, what else matters?”
James sighed in frustration. She looked around at the Walls towering above them and bit her lip. Brian seemed to think he had made some terrific point and strutted the rest of the way home like a flabby rooster. Inwardly, James felt like tearing her hair out. Just once she would like to find someone who understood what she was trying to say. Someone who knew what it was like to want something more. It would have been such a relief. But everyone in Haven seemed content with what they had, and looked at her as being ungrateful for not joining them.
It was evening when the pair reached the apartment building. James’ Aunt Hazel was annoyed but not surprised to discover where she had been. Hazel told her to act like the adult she was and stop disappearing without notice. She than went on to say that even though James was 19 she dreaded her moving out if she continued to behave in this irresponsible way. James had graduated from school the year before but had stayed Living with her Aunt. It was more like her Aunt stayed living with her, since it was James’ apartment, but Hazel forgot the difference a lot. When James’ parents had died, Hazel had taken it upon herself to raise her. She’d taken good care of her as a kid, and because of this James kept silent about most of the little annoying traits her Aunt had; even if her Aunt never kept back her opinion of her niece.
James broke away from her Aunt’s reprimands as quickly as possible and announced she was going to sleep. She retreated to the small room in the back of the ground floor apartment and locked the door. Her Aunt never bothered her after she turned in, but it was better to be safe than sorry. She quickly placed her book on the shelf by her bed, which was lined with titles like: Regiment 134, The Exploits of General Valcarye, The Great War, and many others. Most of them were narratives about Heroes and events that shaped the History of Galactic States. They held fantastic tales beyond even the most imaginative person’s ability spin. Who originally wrote the multitude books no one knew. They all dealt with the same imaginary time period and setting, and mostly followed a handful of people and groups. Aunt Hazel didn’t approve of them. She said fantasy was only for people who couldn’t face reality, and saw James’ fascination with it as a weakness. It wasn’t this James was thinking of though.
She hastily grabbed a jacket from her closet and a thick, weather-beaten notebook. James then very carefully opened her window so as not to make any noise. A well-placed trashcan made it possible to climb out fairly easily, and in seconds she was free for the night. As her feet hit the pavement, she smiled for the first time that day. She broke into a run simply because there was no one around to stare. After a few minutes she stopped to catch her breath and opened her notebook. Directions were something that always confused her, so she had them written down for referral. James continued on her way, consulting her book every now and then, until she rounded a corner and found herself standing at the base of the east Wall. Over time she had compiled a list of places that had something interesting about them. This place had a crack. There, right in front of her, was a little crack in the supposedly indestructible Wall. It was too narrow to see through, but if you pressed your ear against it and listened carefully, you could hear something.
It was a sound James had never heard anywhere else, and didn’t know the cause of. A faint rustling, repeating itself at regular intervals. It was far off and hard to distinguish, but there, a link to the world outside of Haven. James closed her eyes and listened, feeling at peace for the first time in a long while. There was something soothing in the gentle sound, and it rang bells at the back of her head. Where had she heard that sound? No, she hadn’t heard it, it had been described to her. She wrinkled her forehead and thought hard. The dim stars twinkled overhead and the wind whispered through the streets. Suddenly it hit her. She jumped with the force of the revelation and its implications. Without another thought she turned and ran back home as fast as her legs would carry her. Quick as lightening she climbed back through her window, grabbed a certain book and tiptoed out into the den. She could hear her Aunt snoring on the couch and paused.
Who would she tell? Something like this had to be told. Brian. She’d tell Brian. No one else would have pretended to listen anyway. James made up her mind and dashed up three flights of stairs and practically broke down the door of Brian’s apartment with her pounding. An irritated Brian opened the door and started at seeing James glowing and out of breath. He took a long time to say anything, as if framing his words carefully. Brian did not like James, but he had the most unfounded apprehension that his neighbor was secretly in love with him. I’m afraid he thought this unexpected visit was some sort of confession, and he would have embarrassed himself horribly had he spoken first. Luck was with him however, and James opened her mouth before the young man got a chance to put his foot in his.
“Brian! I’m sorry, but I’ve got to tell someone. I’ve found the most incredible thing, you’ve got to come with me to the east Wall right now.”
“Now? Can’t this wait till morning?”
“No, it can’t. I’m afraid I’ll forget. Please Brian? I’ll implode If I don’t show someone.”
“Oh, alright. I have I feeling I’ll regret this though.”
James grabbed Brian’s hand and dragged him down the stairs and out the door. After two minutes he was huffing and puffing like a steam engine, but James didn’t notice. Brian was just about to beg for a rest when James stopped abruptly in front of her wall.
“Well Brian?”
“Um…It’s a Wall.”
“Don’t be tiresome. Can’t you see it?
“There’s a crack right there, whoop-de-do.”
James rolled her eyes and sighed with impatience.
“Look Brian, stand right here like this. Put your ear to the crack. Now just wait a second.”
Brian arched his eyebrows in a clear signal he thought James had gone crazy, but he complied. For a minute he just stood there annoyed. But then surprise flashed across his face and he cupped his hand around his ear to hear better.
“Hey! I do hear something. It’s like a…a…I can’t describe it…”
“I can!”
James excitedly interjected and flung her book open. She leafed rapidly through the pages, stopping somewhere halfway. She sighed as if in relief and began reciting:
“Rustling with heavy sleep
Iridescent mirror-sky
Echoing secrets deep
In rhythmic heaving sigh”
“…James, please don’t tell me you dragged me all the way out here to read some stupid poem.”
“It’s the ocean Brian! Haven is near an ocean!”
“Right. This couldn’t wait?”
James stared at her neighbor, hurt at his lack of enthusiasm. She opened and closed her mouth several times, not knowing what to say in the face of such apathy.
“Brian, don’t you get it? Doesn’t this mean anything to you?”
Brian shifted his weight from one foot to the other restlessly. He didn’t look James in the eye and ran his hand through his hair in a nervous manner.
“No James, not really. I never think about that stuff, and I don’t care.”
Brian emphasized his last three words and turned to go. James grabbed his arm, forcing him to face her. She was getting red in the face.
“Brian, how can you say that? How can you not even care that there’s something out there?”
Now James got a shock. Impassive, understated Brian threw off James’ restraining hand violently and stepped back. His own face was flushed crimson, and James thought she saw tears welling up in his eyes.
“I don’t care James, because it doesn’t do any good. It doesn’t matter what’s out there, we aren’t. We can’t leave any more than we could visit another planet. And there’s nothing we can do to change that. Ever. So why torment yourself? Why tear yourself apart over something when you can’t do anything about it?”
James stood frozen to the spot, too stunned to speak. Brian wiped his eyes hastily and turned back towards the street.
“I’ve got to work in the morning, I’m going home now. I can’t believe I let you drag me out here.”
He stalked off, leaving James in the narrow ally. She suddenly felt exhausted and sank down against the solid Wall. She rested her head just beneath the crack, the sound of waves squeezing through. For hours she just sat there, not moving a muscle or making a sound. Somewhere off in the distance, a low rumble began. It grew in volume and reverberated across the whole city. A second one followed in quick succession, and then there was silence.
* * * * * *
The next day dawn just like any other. People bustled around the city doing what they always did. Upstairs Brian hit the snooze button three times. Downstairs Aunt Hazel woke up complaining about her back and the price of groceries. James ate her Breakfast quickly and rushed out the door like she did every day. She stepped out into the street without really knowing where she was going. The episode of last night had left her troubled, so she wandered around trying to clear her head. They say everything happens for a reason, and James’ life was perhaps the most convincing argument for that philosophy. If she hadn’t been so out of spirits, she never would have walked around parts of Haven she didn’t know well. And she never would have gotten lost. And most importantly, she never would have stumbled into a very un-ordinary situation.
It all started when the realization that none of the buildings were familiar first hit her. She did a slow 180-degree turn in attempt to get her bearings. But James had a horrible sense of direction, and for the next several minutes kept thinking she had her position figured out only to find herself even more hopelessly lost. After a while James caught something out of the corner of her eye. It was a run down building she recognized as being about a three blocks away from her home. She ran forward and relief coursed through her, until she rounded the corner and collided with a man who was likewise running at breakneck speed. Both tumbled to the ground with the wind knocked out of them. The man stifled a cry and scrambled to his feet while James tried simultaneously to stand up and apologize in way that would restore some of her dignity.
“I’m sorry sir, please excuse me. I didn’t see…”
James didn’t get a chance to finish though. No sooner had the man recovered than he grabbed her, clamped his hand firmly over her mouth, and dragged her into the dilapidated structure. James kicked and fought for all she was worth, but it was no use. The man was incredibly strong and all her efforts didn’t even faze him. The hauled her into the farthest corner of the moldy room and pushed her facing him against the wall. He didn’t look at her though, and kept his eyes toward the door. For a moment he stood there tense as a tightrope walker and waited for something. When nothing came he seemed to relax and turned his attention back to the frantic girl. He lessened his grip and spoke in a calm, soothing voice.
“Don’t panic, I’m not going to hurt you. I know what you must be thinking, but you’ve got it wrong. Just calm down. I’ll let you go if you won’t scream.”
James stopped struggling and nodded her head to show she agreed. He slowly let go and stepped back with his hands half raised in a gesture of truce. James didn’t believe him, but she knew if she screamed the man wouldn’t give her another chance. Her plan was to get him talking, convince him she trusted him until he let his guard down. She got a good look at the man now for the first time. He was tall and strongly built, with hair and blue eyes. The last two traits were extremely uncommon in Haven. He was wearing black pants made of a material James didn’t recognize, and a white tee-shirt beneath a black and red jacket. He clutched his side a little with one hand, making James think she had fought pretty well after all. She had never seen someone quite like him before, and a little of her fear vanished as curiosity took over. The man saw her tension decrease, and tried to reassure her again.
“Just take it easy. I’m not trying to trick you. Forgive me for scaring you like that, but I had no choice.”
The man’s voice had a strained quality to it this time. He winced with pain and half fell against the wall. His hand dropped form his side and his jacket swung open. As it did so James recoiled. The bottom half of his shirt was torn and almost entirely soaked with .
“What happened to you?”
“A gang jumped me back there, I was trying to shake them when I ran into you.”
James’ eyes widened. The man had probably saved both their lives by dragging her in here. He cradled his side and sank down into a sitting position, trying unsuccessfully to hide how much pain he was in. James realized how serious the man’s condition was and felt a twinge of guilt for fighting so hard. The man took several deep breaths and struggled to remain conscious. It wasn’t working. James knelt down next to him and tried to help.
“Mr.? Are you al right? Should I get someone?”
The man was weakening fast, but he shook his head and fought to speak.
“N…no. They might …still be there…don’t give us away…They’ll kill us both.”
His eyelids were drooping and his voice was very feeble. Even so, he refused to ask for her help. James thought he must be very self-sacrificing or very proud. It was difficult to tell which. The man leaned his head against the wall and closed his eyes. James started to panic. She had no idea what to do with a serious wound and if the man didn’t get help soon he’d bleed to . Then again, if the gang was waiting outside they’d both probably die. James thought hard, trying to figure out what was the least dangerous thing to do.
_________________
"My candle burns at both its ends, it will not last the night;
But ah, my foes, and oh, my friends, it gives a lovely light!"
-Edna St. Vincent Millay
Whodunnit?On hold till further notice
I Don't Believe in Fate: Chapter 13 is now released
Lost n' Spacey On hold till Further Notice
(\__/)
(='.'=)This is Bunny. Copy and paste Bunny
(")_(")into your signature to help him gain world domination.
Last edited by Geek_girl72 on Fri May 11, 2007 7:30 pm; edited 10 times in total
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Argonaut
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| Posted: Wed Oct 04, 2006 11:26 am Post subject: |
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Very cool begining, good description, good characterization, really well written 
now what to do? she could try and treat his wound somehow but James dosn't know any first aid it seems. That will probably not be effective then. She knows this building is 3 blocks from her building. It feels like a modern city, so I'd assume they have telephones or something to call emergency medics and police. She could make a break for it, get home and call for help. I'd say look for another way out of the building and sneak around alleys to get home but she might get lost. So check if the coast is clear and run like hell!
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Wed Oct 04, 2006 7:50 pm Post subject: |
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Very good start GG! I enjoyed reading it.
What to do? Mmm, well, try and staunch the bleeding first, then I can only f5 Argo. Go and get help, carefully checking the area first.
Rifle through his pockets as well, see if you can't find some info.
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Kalanna Rai
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| Posted: Wed Oct 04, 2006 7:51 pm Post subject: |
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*rolls eyes and flicks some Wall dust off her nose* Well I certainly survived that...and am rather interested as well.
My suggestion would be to tear off a couple strips of clothing, press one against the wound and wrap the other one around it as tightly as she can. She's read enough fantasy books that this should have come up in one of them, it certainly comes up in the ones I've read.
This should buy her a little time. Then just saunter out of there like it's the most normal thing in the world for you to be there and head for your building like you've got all the time in the world. Running would just alert anyone who's actually looking that you're doing something you're not supposed to.
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Geek_girl72
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| Posted: Thu Oct 05, 2006 5:28 am Post subject: |
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Looks like you all have pretty much the same idea, who would let some nice mystery guy bleed to anyway?
_________________
"My candle burns at both its ends, it will not last the night;
But ah, my foes, and oh, my friends, it gives a lovely light!"
-Edna St. Vincent Millay
Whodunnit?On hold till further notice
I Don't Believe in Fate: Chapter 13 is now released
Lost n' Spacey On hold till Further Notice
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(='.'=)This is Bunny. Copy and paste Bunny
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Geek_girl72
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| Posted: Sat Oct 14, 2006 6:38 pm Post subject: |
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Okay, sneak around won the poll. I'l probably get the second chapter up after 'the Zealot', so it should be about a week to a week and a half.
_________________
"My candle burns at both its ends, it will not last the night;
But ah, my foes, and oh, my friends, it gives a lovely light!"
-Edna St. Vincent Millay
Whodunnit?On hold till further notice
I Don't Believe in Fate: Chapter 13 is now released
Lost n' Spacey On hold till Further Notice
(\__/)
(='.'=)This is Bunny. Copy and paste Bunny
(")_(")into your signature to help him gain world domination.
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Argonaut
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| Posted: Sat Oct 14, 2006 10:18 pm Post subject: |
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| Can't wait to read it Geek Girl. Great characters, I love James, I already really want to see her find a way out of the city
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| Posted: Tue Oct 31, 2006 12:27 pm Post subject: |
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Geek_girl72
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| Posted: Wed Nov 01, 2006 11:35 am Post subject: |
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I haven't seen either of those movies, but this is not some type of evil empire story if that's what you mean. I'm trying to make this one interesting, but a bit more light hearted than my other ones, no secret societies or overlords or anything.
_________________
"My candle burns at both its ends, it will not last the night;
But ah, my foes, and oh, my friends, it gives a lovely light!"
-Edna St. Vincent Millay
Whodunnit?On hold till further notice
I Don't Believe in Fate: Chapter 13 is now released
Lost n' Spacey On hold till Further Notice
(\__/)
(='.'=)This is Bunny. Copy and paste Bunny
(")_(")into your signature to help him gain world domination.
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Geek_girl72
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| Posted: Tue Nov 14, 2006 7:09 am Post subject: |
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Sorry it's taking me so long to finish the chapter. I've gotten mega bogged down with school work and have had to slow down my writing a little.
_________________
"My candle burns at both its ends, it will not last the night;
But ah, my foes, and oh, my friends, it gives a lovely light!"
-Edna St. Vincent Millay
Whodunnit?On hold till further notice
I Don't Believe in Fate: Chapter 13 is now released
Lost n' Spacey On hold till Further Notice
(\__/)
(='.'=)This is Bunny. Copy and paste Bunny
(")_(")into your signature to help him gain world domination.
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Geek_girl72
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| Posted: Tue Nov 21, 2006 12:11 pm Post subject: |
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Chapter 2: Justin
James took a deep breath and tried to calm herself down. Panic would not help the situation. She looked around the room and saw another door at the back. Carefully she opened it and scanned the back ally. No one was in sight, so she tip-toed out into the dim street. Taking a moment to regain her nerve, she straightened her clothes a little to hide any sign of a scuffle.
“Everything’s okay, you’re just out for a stroll. Keep it together girl, everything’s okay.”
She kept repeating in her head as she forced her feet to take the broken pavement slowly. Her heart wouldn’t stop hammering in her chest though, and her eyes darted this way and that for any sign of danger. After a hundred years of ducking behind dumpsters and suppressing heart-attacks at the slightest sound, she approached a blind corner. The noise of people moving in the street could be heard faintly, and James welcomed it with a sigh. Something about the every-day sound brought the strangeness of what had happened to James full-force down on her shoulders. In spite of herself she stopped abruptly like she’d run into a wall. The fear that she had imagined the whole thing washed over her. She stood still in the back street, fighting waves of self doubt. Could something like this really happen? To you? Reason threw at her. James shook herself in attempt to snap out of the depressing reverie.
“I hate blind corners.”
She muttered aloud, and forced her feet to move again. Broad daylight greeted her around the bend, as well as the end of the ally. She pushed down the urge to make a run for it, shoved her hands deep into her pockets, and walked on. Not one person gave her a second glance as she passed them by, despite her disheveled appearance. Five minutes of uneventful walk brought her to the door of her apartment building. The second the door swung closed on the outside world the dam burst, and James ran like crazy a person to her room. Later that day James paced the floor of a large, rather noisy hospital waiting room, biting her nails incessantly. A man in scrubs and sneakers entered carrying a clipboard and an air of indifference.
"Miss? You the one who called in the guy with a stab wound?"
"Yes, that's me. How is he?"
"Oh, fine. Perfectly fine. Good thing he got here when he did though, you may have saved his life."
"Then he's okay?"
The doctor stopped scribbling on his clipboard and looked at James peevishly.
"I just said that didn't I? Look, I need to know if you know anything about him, name, where he lives, anything?"
"No, He's a complete stranger."
"Shoot! He didn't have any identification on him at all. I'll have to call the police, fill out a mountain of paper work..."
“Um, is it alright if I go and see him now?”
The doctor rolled his eyes and retuned his attention to his clipboard while speaking.
“No, he can’t see anyone right now because stab wounds are contagious. Of course you can! Follow me.”
He muttered something James couldn’t make out and turned scratching curtly on his board. James followed him down the crowded white hallway that smelled strongly of disinfectant and Jello, finally arriving at the right room after some kind of confusion. The door was ajar, and a male voice emanated from it laced with suppressed irritation.
“Look lady, I don’t need a wheelchair. I’m fine. They bandaged me up all nice and I’m perfectly capable of walking on my own.”
The pair entered to see the blonde man half sitting on the hospital bed trying to fight off a well-meaning nurse. His voice was strong enough but his face a little too pale. The nurse kept trying to support him standing up and getting shooed away. The doctor dismissed the nurse with a nod and raised his clipboard again.
“Uh sir, before we release you we need to know a couple things.”
The man didn’t look at the doctor, but wandered around the room as if looking for something while he answered.
“My name is Justin Grey, and before you ask, no I don’t have any preexisting medical conditions, allergies, or any such thing you should know about. I don’t know who jumped me and I don’t want to give the police a statement.”
The Doctor seemed a bit disappointed and let his clipboard fall to his side.
“Right, well then, I’ll be back to check on you later.”
Justin didn’t acknowledge the sentence and kept up his search. The doctor stood for a second as if waiting for a reply, then left a bit sheepishly when none came. James stayed and watched the man wander around the room and grow increasingly frustrated.
“What are you looking for?”
Justin started and whirled around. At the sight of the girl standing quietly in the corner a change came over his face. A surprised expression mixed with something akin to guilt washed over him. He looked hard at her as if trying to determine weather or not he had seen her before.
“Wait a minute. You’re the one who called me in?”
“Yes, what did you expect?”
“I didn’t expect you to brave a gang on a killing spree for a complete stranger.”
He muttered the words more to him self than to anyone, and stood staring off into oblivion. He snapped himself out of it a moment latter, and turned towards James with the slightest of smiles.
“Well, thanks, I honestly thought I was done for back there. Madison has a tendency to play rough.”
“Madison? I thought you told the guy you didn’t know who jumped you.”
Immediately Justin saw his mistake. His face fell and for a moment he tried to brush it off. James kept looking at him expectantly though, till with a gesture of defeat he looked her in the eye again.
“Look miss, I didn’t want to talk to the police. If I did I really would be done for.”
“But the police could protect you; that’s what they do. And if they ask me anything about it-”
Alarm spread over Justin’s face. He stepped closer and regarded James earnestly.
“You can’t do that. This gang is…is… I don’t know how to describe them. They’ll do anything to get what they want. Anything. Please, you saved my life once today, and it’s in your hands again.”
James looked at the man and felt a well of pity rising up in her. Despite his size and build, she honestly felt like he needed her help. I’m afraid to say James wasn’t immune from conceit either, and the idea gave her a bit of a swelled head. Pride and pity is one of the most dangerous combinations there is, as James was about to find out.
“Okay, if it’s that important, I won’t say anything.”
Justin sighed with relief and ran his hand through his hair. He stood for a moment lost in thought, then addressed James more seriously then he had before.
“Thanks doesn’t even cover it miss. Uh, what is your name anyway?”
“It’s James.”
“James? That’s an…unusual name for a girl. Is it short for something?”
“No, my parents were expecting a boy, and the name just sort of stuck.”
“Well then…James, needless to say I’ve got to get out of here and make myself scarce. Any idea where they put my clothes? I can’t go walking out of her in this hospital get-up.”
“In a box under the bed. They got rid of your shirt though, it was a bio-hazard.”
Justin nodded and hurriedly grabbed the plastic box. He stood upright and looked at James as if waiting for something. When James just stood there, he arched his eyebrows and spoke a little impatiently.
“Do you mind?”
“Oh! Sorry.”
James exited the room and waited out in the hallway blushing a little. Nurses and patients were coming and going, accompanied by the occasional harried physician. Off set by the coughs, beeping, and other parts of the hospital din, James again thought about the strangeness of this day. More specifically, Justin himself struck her as being completely different than most people you’d bump into in Haven. It wasn’t just his uncommon physical traits either; there was a tone in his voice, a way he carried himself that made him stick out. It was like seeing a burst of color in a black-and-white world: interesting, but odd. The man in question stepped out of the room, zipping his jacket up to his chin.
“Okay, which way is the quickest out of this place?”
James smiled for some unknown reason, and led her unusual companion down the corridor. She felt the urge to say something, but couldn’t think of anything intelligent-sounding. Justin seemed pre-occupied with whatever problems he had, so the two continued in silence. When they rounded a corner to the main lobby, Justin suddenly froze in his tracks. A split second later he ducked back around the corner and pressed himself to the wall.
“Justin? What’s the mat-”
“Shh! See those two guys standing at the desk? The ones with the black coats?”
“Yeah.”
“That’s part of the gang that got me earlier.”
James stiffened. The two men standing at the desk were apparently inquiring something of the receptionist. One had the hood of his coat pulled over his face, so James couldn’t see what he looked like. The only things visible were that he was considerably taller than anyone James had ever seen and had limbs the size of cannons. The second one was un-hooded and turned towards James enough for her to get a good look at him. He had an earnest expression and muted demeanor. His words to the receptionist were delivered in a slow, deliberate manor with his hands clasped in front of him. It was difficult for James to imagine him committing any act of violence, but there was the living proof standing next to her. Unfortunately he had spotted Justin ducking back around the hallway. He broke off his conversation with the receptionist and motioned his gargantuan cohort to follow him towards Justin’s hiding place. James fought to keep calm.
“Uh, I think we’ve been found out Justin. They’re coming right towards us.”
Justin slammed his fist against the wall. He looked at James suddenly and the wheels in his head started to turn.
“I’ve got an idea, stick close to me and you should be alright.”
With that he took hold of her arm and sprinted down the hall. It was all James to could do to keep up with him, and she felt a bit of sympathy for what she had inflicted on Brian the night before. Justin dashed through the hallways of the hospital, ignoring the stares and complaints of the residents. Gradually the crowd began to thin, something James wasn’t sure she liked. The sinister pair behind them were closing the gap, especially the big one hiding his face. Even though they had started with a good lead, he was rapidly getting closer. To James, her feet seemed like lead and the earth shook every time the assailant’s hit the ground. He was even closer now, In a moment he would be right on top of them. Just when she was certain the colossal villain’s hand was stretching out the grab her, Justin ducked into the stairwell and slammed the door closed, locking it behind him. Without pausing, he practically dragged James after him. A second later she knew why. The door separating them from imminent death shuddered violently. The big man was throwing his whole self against it in attempt to break it down. Justin halted on the second floor landing, catching his breath and fixing James with a serious gaze.
“Listen, can you be brave enough to do something for me? It’s going to sound crazy, but it could save our lives.”
“Just tell me what it is.”
Justin smiled and clapped his hand on James’ shoulder.
“Good, I need you to go up these stairs alone.”
“Alone? But I can’t out run-”
“You won’t have too. I’ll duck in here, they’ll break through the door, here the sound of you running up the stairs, go past me, and I’ll sneak up behind them and take them out.”
If you have ever had a friend who liked sky diving, base jumping, or anchovy pizza, you’ll get an idea of how James reacted inwardly. She cast a quick critical gaze at Justin, unsure if he could take both assailants on armed with nothing but surprise. But then again, she had already put her foot in it with her tough talk, and to back out would look cowardly. Another thud sounded against the door, accompanied by alarming creaks and groans. It wouldn’t hold out forever.[color=blue][/color]
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But ah, my foes, and oh, my friends, it gives a lovely light!"
-Edna St. Vincent Millay
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Argonaut
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| Posted: Tue Nov 21, 2006 2:29 pm Post subject: |
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| The opposite way seems like it would work better. James should run downstairs and Justin should hide above them. If he's going to surprise attack them from behind, he should have the high ground. easier to kick them in the head that way
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Tue Nov 21, 2006 4:37 pm Post subject: |
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| Quote: | | James took a deep breath and tried to calm herself down |
This could read better without the 'down' I think.
| Quote: | | After a hundred years of ducking behind dumpsters... |
Great line! 
| Quote: | | I’m afraid to say James wasn’t immune from conceit either, and the idea gave her a bit of a swelled head. Pride and pity is one of the most dangerous combinations there is, as James was about to find out. |
This paragraph seems out of place. The rest was in James' POV, and suddenly there is an author's comment in!
'offset' is one word.
| Quote: | | If you have ever had a friend who liked sky diving, base jumping, or anchovy pizza, you’ll get an idea of how James reacted inwardly. |
Again, author's comment.
Anyway, another chapter. About time! 
We must assume that he can take them out of course. However, I think Argo has a good point. Let them head down, then jump them from above, landing on one, and knocking the other down the stairs.
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Geek_girl72
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| Posted: Tue Nov 21, 2006 7:05 pm Post subject: |
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I didn't really think about the author comment stuff, maybe I could adjust to be her thinking to herself. If it doesn't work I'll just pull it out, because now that you mention it it does seem to disrupt the flow of things a little. Good idea about heading down instead of up. This actually fits with something James would think of, given all the adventure books she's read.
Question: What do you guys think of Justin's character? What kind of person does he seem like? I ask because there is a surprise coming up with him and I would like to see If anyone can see it coming.
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Argonaut
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| Posted: Tue Nov 21, 2006 8:03 pm Post subject: |
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| I would guess from the hints about how different he is, that he is either from somewhere outside the walls, or is someone who wants to find a way out like James. Of course he could also be a member of a rival gang but he seems like a loner type to me.
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Masterweaver
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| Posted: Wed Nov 22, 2006 7:31 am Post subject: Octopi revolution |
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Whats with the wall in the first place?
Here's an idea: she does as he says, but a doc shows up and sounds the alarm in a panic, so they jump out a window (or run down the stairs, or blow up the wall, or whatever) and end up next to a crack in the outer wall. It is big enough to see through, and James looks through, getting her first horrifying glimpse of the Sentient Ocutpi Revolutionarys attempting to break into te city by constructing (insert cool object here.)
Or it could just be a giant chicken.
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Geek_girl72
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| Posted: Wed Nov 22, 2006 8:14 am Post subject: |
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lol, I'm afraid the universe to this story isn't as sinister as that. There is a sort of conspiracy, but it's not what you'd expect.
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solus.serpen
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| Posted: Sat Nov 25, 2006 10:33 am Post subject: |
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Hey all!
Just read through this, and it's a great story - I'll be continuing to follow it, and looking forward to the next chappy.
-Voted for following his plan, he's a bit of a mystery, isn't he? If she refuses or does something else, then how can she be sure anything unusual is ever going to happen to her again?
Solus
*edit*Ahhh! I just read all the comments. The down idea is actually quite a good one, I thought that just meant that she would be running away from him and going down instead of up.
Nvm, the up idea is fine, he can trip them up ok then
Either way is good - just not the chicken out one.
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Masterweaver
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| Posted: Mon Nov 27, 2006 5:28 pm Post subject: |
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A plot of evil is included.
I don't see it yet, but I sense it in the water...
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Geek_girl72
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| Posted: Tue Nov 28, 2006 6:55 am Post subject: |
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Just be prepared for the unexpected, I'm trying to stay away from the run-of-the-mill stuff used to . Speaking of which, if anyone of you catch me doing that, please point it out
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Masterweaver
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| Posted: Tue Nov 28, 2006 3:46 pm Post subject: |
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Oh, is this a sequel-type thing to Dr. Franklin's Island?
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Geek_girl72
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| Posted: Wed Nov 29, 2006 4:58 pm Post subject: |
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...I'm not sure what that is.
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Masterweaver
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| Posted: Wed Nov 29, 2006 5:00 pm Post subject: |
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YOU HAVEN'T READ DR. FRANKLIN'S ISLAND?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!??!?!?
My bleep, woman, read the book!
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Geek_girl72
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| Posted: Wed Nov 29, 2006 5:31 pm Post subject: |
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Okay! Okay! Just don't start throwing things at me!
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Geek_girl72
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| Posted: Thu Nov 30, 2006 6:28 am Post subject: |
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Well, it's a tie so far, I'll have to wait for someone to break it.
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| Posted: Thu Nov 30, 2006 5:24 pm Post subject: |
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| I will break ze tie, Go with Justin
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| Posted: Fri Dec 01, 2006 4:04 pm Post subject: |
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Masterweaver
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| Posted: Fri Dec 01, 2006 5:28 pm Post subject: |
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She tells him
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Geek_girl72
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| Posted: Thu Dec 07, 2006 7:11 am Post subject: |
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Still a tie...
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Argonaut
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| Posted: Thu Dec 07, 2006 10:44 am Post subject: |
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| Arrg! just go down people, it's a gooder idea
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Masterweaver
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| Posted: Thu Dec 07, 2006 2:38 pm Post subject: |
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F5.
It seems to be a tie between that and the first one..
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Geek_girl72
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| Posted: Mon Dec 11, 2006 10:38 am Post subject: |
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Alright, doing what Justin told her won the poll. I'll try to get a chapter up soon, but it might in all honesty be after the holidays before I can put anything decent up.
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Masterweaver
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| Posted: Mon Dec 11, 2006 2:48 pm Post subject: |
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Aw, man! I wanted to establish a conflict!
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Geek_girl72
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| Posted: Tue Dec 12, 2006 2:08 pm Post subject: |
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Don't worry, there will be plenty of conflict between charactres shortly. 
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But ah, my foes, and oh, my friends, it gives a lovely light!"
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Kalanna Rai
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| Posted: Tue Dec 12, 2006 2:15 pm Post subject: |
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Yay I'm glad, I would have commented but I completely forgot I was reading this one...sorry GG! I'm back now and will remember for the next time.
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Masterweaver
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| Posted: Wed Dec 13, 2006 4:19 pm Post subject: |
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I seriously think that James is the more logical type, with the exception of her belief in the unreal. She would take the safer path.
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Geek_girl72
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| Posted: Thu Dec 14, 2006 11:25 am Post subject: |
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School is turning out better than I thougth at first, I might get the third chapter up fairly soon.
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DukeReg
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| Posted: Sat Dec 16, 2006 3:35 am Post subject: |
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Well I seem to have missed the poll, but I get the idea that Justin is from outside the city as well.
I agree it seems odd to surprise someone from below them on a staircase. Unless he has no intention of fighting them, and intends to go downstairs as fast as possible while they go up after James.
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Masterweaver
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| Posted: Sat Dec 16, 2006 6:17 am Post subject: |
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Oh! Good Idea!
Make Justin the villian! Great plot twist!
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DukeReg
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| Posted: Sat Dec 16, 2006 5:25 pm Post subject: |
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| Masterweaver wrote: | Oh! Good Idea!
Make Justin the villian! Great plot twist! |
I think their relationship is too chance-based and unimportant for him to count as the villain to her hero. But something about the way he is written makes me think he would be quite capable of using her as a decoy (not thinking she would come to any real harm) while he escaped.
I guess we'll have to wait and see if this is the Justin surprise we were supposed to see coming...
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Geek_girl72
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| Posted: Sun Dec 17, 2006 7:25 am Post subject: |
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Justin is a sort os experiement for me as a writer. I'm not yet sure I can pull off his character, which is a little motre complex than anything I've tried yet. I'll just have to take the leap and see what happens
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Masterweaver
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| Posted: Tue Dec 26, 2006 6:55 pm Post subject: |
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If I asked if this thread was dead, would I regret it?
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Geek_girl72
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| Posted: Tue Dec 26, 2006 8:04 pm Post subject: |
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It's only been a week, and I'm almost finished with the next chapter, so yes.
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Geek_girl72
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| Posted: Thu Dec 28, 2006 3:47 pm Post subject: |
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Chapter Three: An Error in Judgment
James looked into Justin’s face. Could this be a trick? Was he planning to simply use her as a decoy? She thought about the way she had stumbled across him by pure chance. There was no real reason to think she knew anything about his character or motives. Still, there was something about this man, and this day, that was working a change in her. Something inside her had woken up and was fighting to compensate for lost time. She lifted her chin slightly and looked Justin straight in the eye.
“Alright.”
Justin paused for a moment and looked hard at her. He glanced at the door bemoaning its agony and back at James. A wry grin crossed his face.
“Good. For a second there I thought you were going to flake out on me. They’re almost through so I’ve got to hide myself. It’ll get a bit close but don’t worry; I know what I’m doing.”
Justin flashed a final, perfect smile, and left James standing on the stair landing. The click of the door latching shook her Nerve more than the pounding below; and whatever feeling had taken hold of her a second before fled. She tried to move, but her feet seemed rooted to the spot.
“Come on James, you’re no coward. You can do this.”
James said out loud. She started to reflect on her weird habit of talking to herself when no one was around, and dropping into reflective states at inopportune moments, but a terrific crash snapped her out of it. The remnants of the door flung open and smashed against the wall, revealing the quiet-looking man and his gargantuan companion. James barely glanced at their faces before her feet unfroze and she bolted up the stairs for all she was worth. She could hear them pounding after her, especially the big man, whose footsteps echoed like thunder in the narrow stairwell. Suddenly, an odd buzzing noise sounded behind them, and what James could only describe as a blueish ball of electricity whizzed past her head and hit the wall in front of her. The whole building seemed to shudder, throwing James off balance and slamming her shoulder hard into the railing. Shaken, and astonished that her pursuers had stopped, she picked herself up and faced back down the stairway. The two men were standing with their backs to her and facing Justin, who was pointing an odd contraption at the both of them. It seemed to be some sort of weird gun unlike anything James had ever seen. Sparks were fluttering to the ground out of the barrel, and a low hum emanated from it. Justin stood on the landing with this weapon raised at his two enemies. The Big man let something like a growl escape his lips, and moved as if about to do something desperate. The shorter man put a restraining hand on his shoulder and spoke in a calm, quiet voice.
“Stand back Fenris, keep your head. It would be best to put that thing down Grey, you might hurt someone.”
Justin glowered at the man and took a step forward.
“Spare me the bravado Seth Martel, and keep a leash on your pet there or I won’t be responsible for my actions. Now stand aside and let the lady pass.”
Justin spoke his adversary’s name like an insult. Seth seemed unfazed by it though and complied, motioning for Fenris to do likewise. Passing by those two was perhaps the worst part of that day for James. Fenris did growl at her as she passed, she was certain of it. When she passed by Seth, he shook his head slightly. Upon reaching Justin, he took hold of her arm and pulled her behind him protectively.
“Don’t worry, the worst is over now.”
Seth scoffed.
“She was a willing part of this? Don’t tell me you’ve found a friend already?”
“I have a way with people.”
Seth let his shoulders slump at Justin’s words and looked at James while he continued speaking.
“I don’t suppose you’ll be reasonable about this? If we could come to some sort of arrangement…”
“No deals Martel. I’m finishing what I started.”
Justin took another step and cocked his gun. James watched in alarm and rushed forward.
“Justin, what are you doing?”
“Something I should have a long time ago.”
“But you can turn them over to the police now, you can’t call it self defense if you kill them.”
Justin looked at her and sighed.
“I don’t expect you to understand James, but I know what I’m do-”
He never got to finish reassuring his newfound companion. In the split second he wasn’t watching the captives, Seth leaped of the stairs and dove at Justin, bringing him to the ground with a crash and knocking the gun out of his hand. James was too startled to see where the gun landed, but knew the only hope of getting herself and her friend out of this was to get back into the hospital and sound the alarm. Surprised at her own lack of fear in the present situation, she turned and made a mad dash down the stairwell, only half hearing Seth call out:
“Fenris! After Her!”
That was all the giant needed to hear. He leaped over the side of the railing, landing dramatically feet first between James and the door. Before she could skid to a halt, her momentum carried her sailing into the brute. The collision made her feet slip out from under her and she fell down hard into a sitting position at the man’s feet. Still trying desperately to back away, she glanced upwards into Fenris’ face and froze. The face looking back at her wasn’t that of a man, or even a human being. Large black pupils filled with a red gleam rested in a face covered in thick fur-like hair. An elongated, canine nose overshadowed a mouth baring its enormous and gleaming teeth in a snarl. The monster took a step towards James and spoke in a low, gravely voice as inhuman as his face.
“I wouldn’t scream if I were you”
James would have complied even if her voice hadn’t temporarily left her. A low buzzing noise sounded behind them and Fenris looked sharply back up the stairs. His wolfish mouth parted in surprise, but he wasn’t quick enough to react before a second one sounded and a blue shockwave swept over his whole person. He gave a strangled cry, and tumbled to the ground, convulsing horribly. James didn’t move or take her eyes off of the spectacle for a long time. When she finally regained her motor skills, she turned her head slowly and saw Justin standing behind her, weapon in hand and Seth likewise twitching at his feet. Justin thrust the gun into his pocket and breathed deeply. James very slowly picked herself up off the floor, leaned against the wall, and closed her eyes. She heard Justin shift his feet, and opened her eyes again. He smiled reassuringly.
“Don’t worry, the shot isn’t lethal.”
James ordered herself not to shake, and spoke in an admirably calm voice.
“Than you never planned to…”
“No. I never was going to kill them. I just didn’t want to get the police involved.”
“Why not?”
“Their names would mean nothing to the police. That makes things difficult sometimes, but luckily I have the same privilege.”
“You mean the three of you have no record?”
Justin chuckled, and leaned against the railing with his arms crossed.
“More than that. None of us exist in the legal sense of the word here. Like I said it has its drawbacks, but it has its advantages too.”
James had no idea what he was talking about, but Justin acted like she should, so she kept her mouth shut and listened, hoping to pick up on whatever she had missed. Justin continued his speech with the air of one giving a lecture.
“I’m practically invisible here. I can do basically anything and not suffer the consequences. For instance, when I do this…”
Justin raised his weapon in a casual manner, and without changing the expression on his face shot James dead in the chest. A sharp pain almost equaled by her shock rippled through her. Her whole body shook uncontrollably as the world went blurry and she struggled to breath. She collapsed on the ground, gasping and completely bewildered. Justin strolled over to her helpless form and leaned over her, continuing his explanation with the same unfazed, casual demeanor.
“When I do this, there will be no repercussions. When you disappear, and the police line up all the usual suspects, ‘Justin Grey’ won’t be one of them. Even if they do look for me, I won’t be found. By that time I’ll be long gone. Eventually they’ll give up and stop looking for you, it happens all the time when there’s no evidence, no trace left. I do owe you for distracting our unusual friend here though, if he hadn’t been going after you I never would have gotten Seth off me.”
He flashed another one of his winning smiles at her, and just before James sank into oblivion she heard one last sentence:
“Like I said before, ‘thanks’ doesn’t even cover it.”
James slowly opened her eyes and blinked in the light of the afternoon sun. It seemed concentrated on the spot where she stood, with all of Haven spread out before her. She glanced around to take stock of where she was. With astonishment she realized she was back on her hill. After a moment of confusion, it dawned on her that she was dreaming. She wasn’t really here, although she’d always thought that you didn’t dream when you passed out. It was a vivid dream; the Walls frowned down at her just like they did in the waking world. But for some reason James found them more interesting in her unconscious state, something was happening to them that she didn’t understand at first.
Even though she knew it was only a dream, her heart gave a leap when she realized what was happening to the Walls: They were falling. Silently, the great Walls were collapsing in on themselves, sending a noiseless tremor through the whole city and throwing tremendous amounts of dust into the air. The buildings near the edge of Haven where obscured, and James thought she could make out the forms of people fleeing in terror from the great cloud. The clamor stopped, and James’ heart nearly did with it. She stood on her hill in the middle of the city as the cloud gradually began to clear…
“Shhh! I think I hear something.”
It was clearly Seth’s voice that James heard, but when she opened her eyes she could see nothing. Perfect blackness greeted her sight, and she was agonizingly cold. She tried to turn her head, but found she couldn’t. Her arms and legs also refused to obey her wishes. Even when she tried to speak, an unintelligible gurgling was the only product of her efforts. She couldn’t move, speak or see anything. As the realization of her perfect helplessness sunk in a dull panic welled up in her. Her breathing, which thankfully was unhampered, came quick and shallow. A rustling sound came from a few feet to her left, and she felt a warm hand on her wrist. A moment later Seth spoke again.
“Don’t be frightened, you’re alright. The effects just haven’t worn off yet. Relax and you’ll be able to move soon.”
He continued to hold James’ wrist in an odd manner. She thought he must have been checking her pulse. A tingling sensation started in her toes and she found she could wiggle them a little. Immense relief swept over her as the feeling worked it’s way through the rest of her body. She could move now, but with caution. Soreness covered her limbs like a blanket. She also began shivering violently; apparently she had sat motionless for a long time. Seth helped her sit upright.
“You’ll be fine in a minute. Don’t fight the cold either, it’s a good sign if you can feel it.”
James sat shivering for what seemed an eternity, although it wouldn’t have been so bad if it still wasn’t so dark. Gradually she found she could speak.
“Why can’t I see anything?”
“That’s not you, its just dark in here. Hang on, I got a light.”
There was a short click, and a flickering flame appeared in mid air. The sudden light blinded James at first, but when her eyes adjusted she could make out Seth staring back at her, a small lighter in his hand.
“Where’s the…the other one?”
“He’s in the corner. He didn’t want to scare you again.”
“I don’t mind.”
This wasn’t exactly true, but James would rather look at Fenris than think about him lurking around somewhere in the dark. The sound of heavy footsteps approached, and Fenris cautiously poked his face into the circle of light. Very deliberately, without making any sudden moves, the thing extended his clawed, fuzzy hand in greeting. James managed a weak smile and took it.
“My name is Fenris for the record. I’m sorry if I came on a little strong before, I didn’t know who’s side you were on.”
“Well, seeing as Grey shot her I think we can safely assume she’s not an accomplice. He wouldn’t have locked her up either unless he knew she wouldn’t want to stay. What did he tell you anyway to make you cooperate?”
James looked at Seth and felt a twinge of guilt. She knew now that He had been trying to save her from whatever Justin had planned. It was her fault they were all in this mess, and however embarrassing it was to explain how he’d deceived her she felt she owed it to them.
“He didn’t seek me out. I found him bleeding in an ally and he told me a Gang jumped him.”
“So you took him to the hospital and the rest is history. What he told you is partially true. I’m not part of a gang, and I didn’t jump him, but it is my fault that he was injured.”
“How so?”
Seth chuckled ruefully.
“It’s a long story, but the short version is that a scuffle broke out and I couldn’t keep the situation under control. Madison can be a bit…over enthusiastic when it comes to that sort of thing.”
“Madison? Justin said something like that too.”
Seth smiled in a strange way and nodded.
“Fenris and Madison see it as their job to protect the rest of our group. After Justin got away from us, we broke up into search parties, knowing he was up to no good, as undoubtedly you can see now.”
“But what was the fight about in the first place? Why did he kidnap me? Why is he holding us here? What did he mean about me disappearing?”
Seth and Fenris exchanged a glance. Seth cleared his throat and thought for a moment before answering.
“It would take a long time to explain. I think we should focus on trying to find a way out of here first.”
James couldn’t help the look she gave Seth at his words. How did she know these people weren’t pulling the wool over her eyes like Justin? The bits they had told her didn’t really explain anything. Maybe if she heard more she could decide better if they were on the level. If she demanded to hear more and they clamed up she’d at least know they had something to hide. On the other hand, she wanted to get out of this place, and her only chance of escape was probably with these two people. Then again, she’d already been tricked once today, and had no intention of falling for something twice.
*******
Okay, how is James going to act? Should she trust them? pretend to? Demand answers? Or something else?
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But ah, my foes, and oh, my friends, it gives a lovely light!"
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Whodunnit?On hold till further notice
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Masterweaver
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| Posted: Sat Dec 30, 2006 6:35 pm Post subject: |
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She should call upon her (previously unknown even to herself) great magical power!
It's a cliche, but...
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Geek_girl72
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| Posted: Sun Dec 31, 2006 11:24 am Post subject: |
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Sorry, this is more sci fi than fantasy, no magical powers : (
She's going to need Iago-like guile to survive this situation, the question is how does she use it?
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Masterweaver
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| Posted: Sun Dec 31, 2006 11:27 am Post subject: |
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She faints.
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solus.serpen
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| Posted: Mon Jan 01, 2007 3:16 am Post subject: |
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She agrees and helps them to find a way out. Hey-they're all in the same boat here. And I don't think they would take further questioning too well right now. Best to start off on a good note. Ask them later.
-And great chapter, GG. 
Hopefully the next one won't be so long in coming - or else my *holding breath* technique might prove somewhat troublesome 
~Solus
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Masterweaver
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| Posted: Mon Jan 01, 2007 8:52 am Post subject: |
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She calls her pet telepathic cat!
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Geek_girl72
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| Posted: Mon Jan 01, 2007 9:42 am Post subject: |
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Hopefully I'll be able to do the next chapter quicker, this one and next are hard becasue the rest of the charatcers, like maddison who we haven't seen yet, are going to be introduced. Also, I need to show the depth of Justin's villiany, speaking of wicj, I'm a little nervous about how this chapter came off, what did you think of The twist in the middle?
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Masterweaver
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| Posted: Mon Jan 01, 2007 9:45 am Post subject: |
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It's all good!
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solus.serpen
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| Posted: Mon Jan 01, 2007 10:47 am Post subject: |
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Yes, it was done very well - I was regretting not saying about it in my last post actually. I think it was definitely interesting to switch sides like that, but now we are unsure as to who is the bad/good guy. It certainly helps with getting the characters across
The only niggle I have with it was that it was quite short and sudden. One minute he is her friend and ally - and the next thing we know, he has shot her, dissapeared, and Seth is suddenly being 'nice guy' and helping her.
It was good, but it leaves us a bit dazed - however, I think that the next chapter(s) should be more revealing (introducing new chars etc.) so that will be fine
I like the way that it has a big plot twist so near the beginning of the book actually, it's not often you see one of those.
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Geek_girl72
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| Posted: Wed Jan 03, 2007 9:46 am Post subject: |
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Okay, are there any other techniques James could use to make sure history doesn't repeat itself? She's got to make sure she come out in one piece.
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solus.serpen
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| Posted: Wed Jan 03, 2007 10:48 am Post subject: |
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Well, maybe she could ask for some kind of proof? Something which shows her that they wren't just lying like Justin was? I'm not sure what exactly - but it would be quicker than demanding them to tell her the whole story. After all, she doesn't even know where she is. I think it's probably best to trust them for now. At least until she gets out of there.
~Solus
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chapter 6 of DESTINY - a super old SG which won't continue...but there are a full 6 chapters if you feel like reading something with no ending!
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Kalanna Rai
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| Posted: Wed Jan 03, 2007 10:27 pm Post subject: |
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Not much I can think of other than telling them she want's no part of it, that she just want's to go home.
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Masterweaver
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| Posted: Thu Jan 04, 2007 6:26 pm Post subject: |
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Where is home?
I mean, she can't very well go back to her house after (insert strange incident here)...
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SerriaFox
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| Posted: Sat Jan 06, 2007 8:51 am Post subject: |
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Sometime you have to make deals with the devil. She can't trust anyone. But she can work with them until she get more information. I like asking for proof, even if it is just a token.
Well written story
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Crunchyfrog
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| Posted: Sat Jan 06, 2007 1:10 pm Post subject: |
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Wow. What a great story.
I have to disagree with Solus, though, I loved the sudden twist. Make the reader feel as dazed as James felt. Yeah!
I'd go with pretending to trust them for the time being, she needs to play her cards close to her chest. She's not really into going home, I think, because she finds the whole idea of an enclosed city claustrophobic, and has an insatiable desire to know more of what's outside. These people possibly come from 'outside'. She may not necessarily want to get involved in their business, but they may be her passage to gain her dream.
Looking forward to the next instalment!
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Geek_girl72
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| Posted: Sat Jan 06, 2007 10:18 pm Post subject: |
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Wow, I've got a family crisis going on and need to take some time off, I'll be back soon though.
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solus.serpen
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| Posted: Sun Jan 07, 2007 12:02 am Post subject: |
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Ok - good luck with it! Hope all goes well
~Solus
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chapter 6 of DESTINY - a super old SG which won't continue...but there are a full 6 chapters if you feel like reading something with no ending!
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Geek_girl72
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| Posted: Thu Jan 18, 2007 9:33 am Post subject: |
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Okay, I'm back now. Is there any more thougths before I put a poll up?
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| Posted: Thu Jan 18, 2007 3:54 pm Post subject: |
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| Have "Fenris" rip someone apart in self defense, come on seriously, pwetty please? *puppy eyes*
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Crunchyfrog
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| Posted: Fri Jan 19, 2007 4:34 am Post subject: |
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| Sticking with my original thoughts....
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Geek_girl72
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| Posted: Mon Jan 22, 2007 9:42 am Post subject: |
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| Quote: | | Have Fenris rip someone apart in self-defense |
That's actually a good idea, but it might fit later. Right now they have to get out of wherever they are, and James needs to decide if she should trust them. Ripping someone apart with his bare hands might not be the best way to convince James she's safe with them.
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Geek_girl72
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| Posted: Thu Jan 25, 2007 8:40 am Post subject: |
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Alright, poll is up!
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SerriaFox
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| Posted: Thu Jan 25, 2007 10:01 am Post subject: |
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| I like option 1, 2, and 3. And would like to see element of 2,3 worked in. But in the end she has little choice but to go with them atleast until she learns more.
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Geek_girl72
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| Posted: Mon Jan 29, 2007 12:15 pm Post subject: |
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Onlt two votes so far? and a tie too? come on, you guys can do better than that!
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Argonaut
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| Posted: Thu Feb 01, 2007 5:28 pm Post subject: |
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| I'm back and I'm breaking ties! Can't wait to see more of this story.
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Chinaren
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Geek_girl72
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| Posted: Tue Feb 06, 2007 9:01 am Post subject: |
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Finally, the tie is broken! James will keep her mouth shut and see what happens. I'm getting all psyched about this next chapter, the story is going to really take off now.
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"My candle burns at both its ends, it will not last the night;
But ah, my foes, and oh, my friends, it gives a lovely light!"
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Whodunnit?On hold till further notice
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Geek_girl72
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| Posted: Tue Feb 20, 2007 1:11 pm Post subject: |
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My enthusiasm turnned out to be premature, I got loaded down with homework and haven't been able to do much work on the next chapter, it is comming though, and I'll try to have it done by the end of the month. In the meantime, I'd like to ask you if you think the story has a solid start, or if there are some errors I could keep in mind for when I go over it?
I ask becasue depending on how this story goes over here, I'm going to try nad make a novel out of it, so i'd appreciate any input/comments you guys have.
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"My candle burns at both its ends, it will not last the night;
But ah, my foes, and oh, my friends, it gives a lovely light!"
-Edna St. Vincent Millay
Whodunnit?On hold till further notice
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Lost n' Spacey On hold till Further Notice
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Geek_girl72
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| Posted: Mon Mar 05, 2007 1:51 pm Post subject: |
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I really wanted to get the next chapter up by now, but my home computer is currently scattered all over my diningroom table(don't ask) so I'll have to finish it up on my breaks at school which might take a while.
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"My candle burns at both its ends, it will not last the night;
But ah, my foes, and oh, my friends, it gives a lovely light!"
-Edna St. Vincent Millay
Whodunnit?On hold till further notice
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Lost n' Spacey On hold till Further Notice
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Geek_girl72
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| Posted: Mon May 07, 2007 1:13 pm Post subject: |
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Chapter Four: The Walls Crumble
“Yeah, that’s probably the best idea right now.”
James replied to Seth’s statement. She still wasn’t sure if she could trust these people, but they were her best bet to get out of this mess with her skin intact.
Seth smiled and helped James stand up.
“Alright then, down to business. Can you walk on your own? Good. The first thing we should do is try to find-”
Before Seth could finish, there was a muffled commotion from somewhere outside. Raised voices, thudding, and crashes all piled on top of each other to create a chaotic clamor that was rapidly getting nearer.
“What’s that?”
James asked. Fenris chuckled (which was not a pleasent thing), and an odd grin took over Seth’s face.
“Unless I’m mistaken, that’s Madison.”
James remembered what Justin had said earlier and her eyes widened. He was not a weak man, and she wondered what the guy who could overpower him must look like. The noise increased, shouts and what sounded like guns firing were heard. Then abruptly, it all ceased, save for the slow approach of heavy footsteps. A moment later the door swung open, and the light from outside nearly blinded the prisoners at first. When her eyes adjusted to the shock of light, James looked towards the door way and saw the figure of a tall, intimidating, militaristic....woman. For a woman it most unmistakably was. Long, curly blond hair was tied back in a sloppy manner behind her head. Two lash-framed eyes stared casually at the three prisoners as if perfectly accustomed to such situations. A sheathed knife was strapped to her side, a small pack was over her shoulder, and a gun like the one Justin had was in her hand. She looked remarkably like a female Justin, but with a decidedly more pronounced air of discipline and reserve. James’ mouth dropped open in disbelief.
“That’s Madison?”
Madison looked sharply at James, having not noticed her presence before. She glanced at Seth with a question in her face.
“Victim of circumstances, we couldn’t help her involvement.”
He explained. Madison shrugged and approached the surprised girl, her boots making a sharp ka-Thunk! With each step. She smiled in a friendly manner and extended her hand.
“Sasha Madison, at your service. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”
There was something oddly casual and disciplined at once in the way she spoke that perplexed James completely. She wasn’t sure how to respond to such a person, but returned her outstretched hand so as not to be rude. The woman gripped her hand in a firm hand shake, a very firm handshake, while looking her straight in the face as if every aspect of her character could be determined by it.
“I’m, uh, James.”
“James huh? Doesn’t really seem to fit you.”
“Well, my parents were expecting-”
James never finished her explanation, since a ruckus once more was breaking out outside. Madison quickly turned back to the doorway she had just entered and surveyed whatever threat was bearing down on them. A split second later she turned back to the small group.
“Looks like the rest of them are coming; we’d better get out of here. Seth, you and James stay inside, Fenris and I will take care of this.”
James couldn't resist peeking outside. The thick woods all raound almost blocked the sight of several armed men charging at them at breakneck speed. On the ground were the unconscious forms of three men wearing uniforms similar to the one she’d seen on Justin. Madison grabbed another gun off one of them and tossed it to Fenris, and the two took as much cover behind some trees as they could, preparing for a skirmish. James had only a moment to take in that the room they’d been held in was really an odd metallic structure completely foreign to her before Seth took hold of her arm and pulled her back into the room. None too soon too, for another electric charge whizzed a hairsbreadth over her head and sizzled into the back wall of the chamber. As Fenris and Madison fired a few return shots at their attackers, James realized that this was the third time that day she was in a set of very dangerous and possibly life threatening situations. She discovered that one quickly grew to enjoy them.
Carefully, she peered again out of the doorway, taking care this time to stay low to the ground. She saw Madison and Fenris were holding off a group of about seven people being led by a great, grizzly man with an ogerish face. Justin was nowhere to be seen. James turned back to Seth, who was similarly watching the fight from the other side of the doorway.
“So why aren’t you out there on the front lines with your friends?”
“Me? I wouldn’t know which end was which with a gun, and I’d probably blast my own head off trying to figure it out. Those two are professionals; I learned a long time ago not to get in their way.”
James returned her attention to the fight and saw the proof of Seth’s words. A few men from the attacking group were hit and dropping to the ground, convulsing just like James had done before. It was the most suspensful and exciting thing James had ever witnessed, and the only thing that spoiled it was that over the tops of the trees the Wall, even in this remote and unused part of Haven, could be seen. Eventually the oger-man (shouting explicatives unlike anything James had ever heard) was forced to retreat with his troops. An unnatural silence suddenly fell upon the woods. Madison lowered her weapon and called to the two taking shelter in the holding cell.
“Seth, you dead yet?”
“No, I’m still here.”
“Good. I think they’re going to try to get behind us and attack again, we should move out.”
The two fighters very rapidly led Seth and James through the woods, halting their progress every now and then to make sure they weren’t being followed. James watched the efficient and assured way Fenris and Madison carried it out; clearly they’d had much experience at this. No one said much of anything for a long time, until Madison looked at Fenris without a word and he gave a slight nod, and the two called a rest. They all stopped to catch their breath, and James saw that they were now much nearer the Wall. Something was wrong about it though, something she couldn’t quite put her finger on. Madison set down her pack and broke in on James’ thoughts, preventing her from pondering it further.
“So...James, how exactly did you get mixed up in this?”
James explained as briefly as possible what had happened, and then looked at the three people in front of her seriously, especially Madison.
“Now that we’re safe for a while and I’ve answered your questions, will you please answer a few of mine?”
Madison just shrugged casually.
“Sure. About what?”
“For starters, did you really stab Justin in the ribs? And why? What did he want with me? And what on earth are you all fighting over?”
“That could take a while to explain in full. Briefly what happened was that those charming people back their came across us the other day. We were perfectly willing to behave civilly, but we presented a sort of problem to them, and they attacked us. I was acting in defense of myself and my comrades. It was nothing personal against Justin, although he can be a pain in the neck.”
“And why did he kidnap me?”
Madison thought for a moment before answering, as if that question puzzled her as well.
“You know? I don’t really think he set out to. I think he took you mainly because you were a witness, the other benefits must have been an afterthought.”
“Benefits? What benefits?”
Here Seth interjected.
“That gets even more complicated. Were you aware of the fact that your home is on contested territory?”
James stared back at him, completely baffled.
“Contested? By who? Haven is all one people. There aren’t any different political bodies or anything.”
“I didn’t mean inside Haven.”
James looked slowly up at Seth, the weight of his words hitting her full force. For a moment that seemed an eternity, she just stared at him, wondering if she were imagining this whole day. When she spoke, she was almost afraid to, afraid that the dream might end if she pushed it too far.
“Are you saying...it’s contested by people...outside Haven?”
Seth smiled kindly at the girl’s astonishment and glanced at his companions. Madison grinned, swung her pack back over her shoulder, and jerked her head towards a sloping hill a little ways in the distance.
“Follow us kid.”
James followed the three most unusual people she had ever met up the steep hill with her head spinning. There was a thought dawning on her that she couldn’t exactly grasp. It had something to do with what was wrong with the Wall. She turned it over in her mind as she made her way up the hill. What was wrong with the Wall? She thought to herself. There was something strange, different....
The second before she crested the hill it hit her. All the Walls of Haven had a slight incline to them, leaning into the city. But with the Wall within her vision, the incline was outward, opposite what it should have been. As soon as this realization struck her, she gained the top of the hill on the heels of her guides, the forest ending abruptly as the ground slopped downwards, giving her an excellent view. She looked out over the scene stretching before her and saw....
Everything.
Everything she had ever imagined and couldn’t have imagined was laid out at her feet in that moment. Fields over flowing with tall grass and wildflowers spread out in every direction. Mountains that she’d often read about but never had the chance to see glimmered in the hazy blue horizon. Birds and forest animals of every description scurried away from the intruders, and directly in front of her, about a half mile away from the foot of the hill, was the ocean lapping gently against the shore. But more than all this, it was the sense of being out, of being somewhere else other than her home, that took her breath, and the vastness of the world spreading out before her made James dizzy. Seth watched the awestruck and speechless girl, and his face turned thoughtful.
“People usually discover at some point that the world is bigger than they thought it was, but unlike you, it’s hardly ever literal. You should count yourself lucky.”
Although James later remembered those words, and remembered them for the rest of her life, at the time she almost didn’t hear them. It was nearly too much for James to bear at the moment, seeing everything all at once.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
The descent downhill was much easier than the climb, but also longer. As the four made their way down to the shore, Seth did his best to explain where they were going and what James could expect.
“The rest of our group is nearby on our ship. Once inside we can be sure of safety, and we’ll answer all the questions you have, although I’m sure you have a lot.”
When they reached the shore, James looked all around her but saw nothing, not even a rowboat. Madison pulled a small square gadget from her pack, depressed a button on the side, and spoke into it.
“Mr. Price? This is Madison speaking, are you within range?”
There was a moment of silence, and then a rather flustered and nasally male voice sounded from the odd instrument laden with static.
“Madison? Hello? Smity! How in blazes do you work this confounded thing? Ah, are all of you alright?”
“Yes, all present and accounted for, but we have a situation that needs some attention.”
“No one’s injured, are they?”
“No, nothing like that Mr. Price. We do have a guest though.”
“Oh, for heven's sake! Didn’t I tell you to avoid contact with the natives? Well, never mind. Just come aboard and we’ll see what can be done about it.”
Madison, Fenris, and Seth just stood there doing nothing. James kept searching for any sign of the vessel that was supposed to be nearby. Upon asking Seth where his boat was, he broke into an enigmatic chuckle.
“First of all it most certainly isn’t mine, and secondly, I said Ship, not boat.”
At first James thought he was being a snob, but the rumbling beneath her feet soon put that to rest. It grew in severity, nearly causing her to lose her balance. The other three behaved completely unfazed by the tremors. A large circle of water about a hundred yards from the shore began to gurgle and bubble in the most disconcerting manner. James, having never seen the ocean, wondered if this was normal, until the circle darkened, and a massive object defying description rose from the waters and hovered a few feet from the surface. James didn’t know how to articulate what it was like, except that it was bigger than her whole apartment building and looked like something right out of her favorite books. Intrepid was inscribed on the front in letters as tall as Fenris. The Ship drew forward until it cast a shadow over the small company. A wide door opened and slowly lowered, forming a ramp into the vessel. James gazed transfixed by this impossible thing, too overcome with wonder to move. By and by Seth nudged her.
“Feel like taking a look?”
“Uh huh.”
The interior was just as extraordinary as the exterior. In a daze, James was led past the spacious cargo bay they’d entered by into a dark room filled with lights and machines she couldn’t fathom the use of. In the middle was a pleasant faced man with large glasses and grey hair sticking up at odd places, hinting that he was often pulling it in frustration. James instantly knew that this must be the Mr. Price Madison had been talking too. He glanced at James, did a double take, took off his glasses and cleaned them, then put them back on and peered at her.
“Well, I guess the Ulthurians were wrong.”
Was all he said. He started snickering at his own joke, whatever it was supposed to mean, and turned back to doing whatever he had been doing, paying no more attention to James. Seth observed this odd person the same way one would a crazy uncle they were very fond of despite his insanity and shook his head.
“Fenris, Madison, you guys should probably get your finding to Ivy and Logan, I’ll give James the tour.”
“Sure thing.”
Madison replied, and left with her imposing friend. James noticed that Seth also watched her leave with a very different sort of expression, but made no comment on it. He headed over to a podium off in a corner, motioning her to follow. He hit a button, and a transparent, three-dimensional view of a solar system flashed above it. It would have startled James under any other set of circumstances, but after the events of the past hour she thought nothing would ever surprise her again. Seth cleared his voice and pointed to a small planet somewhere in the middle of the display.
“Before I show you around, I’ll try to explain what’s been going on. This planet right here is the one we’re on. We don’t know its name, or if it even has one. But we do know a major race sent refugees here a few centuries ago.”
“Refugees?”
“Yes. Haven was some sort of retreat during what we call the collapse. Long story, but basically it was a series of wars and economic crisis that ravaged hundreds of races and civilizations. An astronomical amount of knowledge, both scientific and historical, was lost; a situation which we’re only just starting to recover from. That brings us to the current problem. Your planet was recently re-discovered by explorers. Under the agreements of the more able political bodies operating right now, it’s outlawed to interfere with any planet it until legal ownership-if any-is established. Now, two races have claimed that the inhabitants of this planet are descendants of theirs, and both seemed to have proof.”
“What does that have to do with Justin kidnapping me?”
“Well, this planet is rich in resources, and very heated arguments were taking place over who had claim to it. Since an impasse had been reached, both parties decided to hire investigations of their own, which is why we and Justin’s party are here. We were both commisioned to find evidence of ancestry. The thing is, our presence here is legally ambiguous, which gives Justin some license for his behavior. If his employer’s claim is established, he and his crew will receive clemency from them. If not, it could cause trouble. So naturally he’s under pressure from his captain to bring their customer’s something solid.”
“Captain? Justin isn’t the leader?”
“You’d think so, but no. That honor belongs to old baby-face you saw back in the fight, Captain Grenton. Justin is only the second in command, if you can call it that.”
“And they were going to use me as proof that their people were right?”
“That’s where it gets sticky. Neither the Ulthurians, who Hired Grenton, or the Maldari, who hired us, are human. Both are wrong about this planet. Justin probably figured if he had solid proof of this, he could blackmail the Ulthurians.”
Everything clicked into place with this final explanation and James saw why events had happened as they did. Since Seth and his shipmates also knew the truth about Haven, they were an obstacle to the other’s plan. That must have been how the fight that wounded Justin had started. James suddenly realized that Seth could have the exact same motives for rescuing her from Justin, and she felt a shiver run down her spine. Something about Seth made the thought of him doing such things seem worse then Justin doing them. He appeared trustworthy, but so had Justin, and trusting him had turned out to be a big mistake. Seth appeared to pick up that she was uneasy. He flicked off the display and looked her in the face.
“You don’t have to worry about us, kidnapping and blackmail aren’t our ideas of proper business tactics. Why don’t I show you the rest of the ship now?”
James nodded and followed Seth out of the room. The Intrepid consisted of three levels or decks. The first, which they had entered on, was reserved for cargo and navigational systems. Seth showed her those fairly quickly. The second was personal quarters, and the third held the engine chamber and several other rooms the crew used for their work. At the doorway to one of these Seth paused and turned back to face James.
“This is the tech lab right here. Logan uses it to examine any interesting gadgets or other technology we find in the course of business. We’re really lucky to have him; he’s a perfect genius with anything mechanical and probably understands how this ship works better than anybody. He’s probably inside right now, so just one word of caution: he’s a bit touchy about his age, so don’t mention it.”
“Is he really old?”
Seth surpressed a laugh and opened the door. At first James didn’t see anybody, then noticed a figure resting his head on a low workbench, with tools and half-constructed devices scattered around him, snoring softly. Apparently he’d fallen asleep while working. Seth shook his head and nudged his co-worker gently.
“Logan….Logan? Come on, wake up.”
Logan groaned and stirred in his sleep.
“Five more minutes ma...”
Seth sighed, and deciding more drastic measures were needed, kicked the leg of the chair so that it slid back sharply and shocked the sleeping figure awake. Logan sat upright with a start. He looked around himself, confused for a moment by his fading slumber, then shook himself and looked up at Seth. Again James saw something she hadn’t expected. The person in front of her was not an old man; he was a teenage boy with brown hair and freckles. He couldn’t have been any older than James, and looked at least a few years younger. He started to say something to Seth, then noticed James and stood quickly to his feet.
“Oh! Hello. I didn’t know we had a visitor.”
“This is James. We were sort of thrown together today.”
The boy didn’t react in any way to hearing the boyish name of their guest, but smiled warmly and offered his hand.
“Logan Smith, call me Smity. Please excuse the mess around here; I would have straightened up if I knew you were coming.”
James didn’t know if he was serious or trying to make a joke. If the latter was his object he was terrible at it. In any case he was much more polite than Brian, and practically any of the boys James had known in their early teens. She took an instant liking to him; he was like the kid parents told their children to be like without the insipidness. James would have replied, but at that moment a terrific crash sounded from the hallway. They rushed out to see a large mess of various items spilled all over the floor, many of which James recognized as common household articles found in Haven. In the middle of the mess was an over tipped box and a young woman with an exasperated face. She was hurriedly trying to gather the things off the floor and put them back in the box. Seth attempted to help her clean the mess up.
“Hey Ivy, need a hand with that?”
“No, no. I can get it myself. I am capable of doing some things on my own, thank you very much.”
The woman apparently named Ivy snapped at Seth as if the accident were his fault. Smity shook his head and slunk quietly back into his lab. James half expected Seth to flare up and answer back, but he didn’t. To James’ surprise his face took on a sympathetic expression and he stepped out of the way without saying anything at all. Ivy hastily finished gathering up her scattered possessions, and lugged the box up off the floor. She noticed James for the first time, and scanned her from head to foot as if she were just another artifact belonging in the box.
“Is this the native Mr. Price was babbling about? I thought his mind was drifting again.”
“Uh…yeah. She-”
“Has Emmet looked at her yet? He really should. She could be carrying who knows what with her.”
With that final statement of concern Ivy readjusted her burden, once again refusing Seth’s offer for help, and carried it with difficulty down the hall. A moment after she rounded the corner and disappeared from view, another crash identical to the one before sounded, followed by frustrated mutterings. Seth didn’t say anything else, but lapsed into a thoughtful silence. Ivy’s voice picked up again, venting her irritation on some other unfortunate target. A man stepped into view, looking over his shoulder at the confrontation he’d just escaped. He was somewhere in his mid twenties, and was a little too thin for his height.
“That’s Emmet.” Seth explained. “He’s our ship doctor.”
Emmet sauntered over to Seth and James with a slightly bewildered expression.
“What’s gotten into Ivy lately? She almost bit my head for no reason and muttered something about how the last thing we need is an epidemic. I uh, guess she meant you.”
His last phrase was directed at James, and stated with obvious embarrassment for his co-worker’s rudeness.
“I don’t think we need to worry though. You’ve been here for a couple of hours and we aren’t dead yet, so please excuse Ivy, she isn’t usually like that.”
The tour of the ship now being complete, Seth took James back to the large room they had entered with Fenris and Madison earlier. Fenris and Madison were waiting with Mr. Price, who was seated in a chair and rose when they entered.
“Ah, there you are. What do you think of the Intrepid?”
“It’s the most fantastic thing I’ve ever seen.”
Mr. Price was pleased with this bit of praise and his perpetually cheerful face broke into an even bigger smile.
“I’m glad you like it; although regrettably you’ll probably have to keep it to yourself in the future.”
“What do you mean?”
“I’ve asked these two to escort you safely home. I don’t think your friends would believe this little adventure even if you told them. They’d probably think you’d lost your mind.”
James had been so caught up in the joy of getting outside Haven that she hadn’t thought about the possibility of going back to it. The idea hit her like a splash of cold water, and she felt her stomach tie in knots and her cheeks starting to flush.”
“Back home? I appreciate that, but…I don’t suppose you’d consider…I mean, is there any way I could…persuade you to…to take me with you?”
Almost immediately after the words were out of her mouth James regretted saying them It sounded so silly, so pathetic. She was certain if she’d read in one of her books she would have shoved it aside and not bothered to finish it. Mr. Price started at the suggestion, then furrowed his brow in thought.
“I’m not sure if that’s possible. I’m almost certain that it’s not. How could we tear you away from your home? And without knowing if we could come back? It doesn’t seem right.”
Seth cast a quick sympathetic look at James. He was good at reading people, and seemed to pick up on James’ aversion to locking herself up in Haven, especially after seeing that there truly was something out there to miss. He cleared his throat a little, getting Mr. Price’s attention.
“I don’t think she has much to hold her here, what harm could it be?”
“…I’m just not sure…”
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Okay, sorry it took so long to get this chapter up, despite the fact that it’s kind of slapped together. So what does Mr. Price decide about James? A no wouldn’t necessarily stop the story from progressing, and could have some interesting effects…
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Mon May 07, 2007 2:24 pm Post subject: |
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I think he would need to know what James could offer them. So it's up to her to convince him, which may be hard, as she probably doesn't have any skills they need.
However, perhaps she can offer to come with them as proof of the life on Haven?
Nice chapter GG! Enjoyed I did.
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Geek_girl72
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| Posted: Tue May 08, 2007 2:06 pm Post subject: |
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Thanks China. I honestly didn't think of James trying to persuade them, although I don't see how that could affect the story any different than a yes. Maybe I could include that in the yes option?
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Tue May 08, 2007 4:12 pm Post subject: |
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| Geek_girl72 wrote: | | Thanks China. I honestly didn't think of James trying to persuade them, although I don't see how that could affect the story any different than a yes. Maybe I could include that in the yes option? |
It could be included in the yes or no option really. I was just explaining my thinking, such as it is.
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Geek_girl72
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| Posted: Tue May 08, 2007 7:34 pm Post subject: |
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| Quote: | | It could be included in the yes or no option really. I was just explaining my thinking, such as it is. |
Yeah, I guess it could. Is there anything other than a yes or no answer to this problem? Like...Maybe she comes on condition that she must go back or something.
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Crunchyfrog
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| Posted: Fri May 11, 2007 9:39 am Post subject: |
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Well if she does go back it would open a whole new can of worms, since now she has proof, information, etc.
Bit of a critical DP this one! Maybe another option: Perhaps the very fact that she is a native may be an advantage to them of some kind.
How about Price finds a compromise - lets her be of use for a while before sending her back to Haven.
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Geek_girl72
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| Posted: Fri May 11, 2007 7:34 pm Post subject: |
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Alright, the poll is up. This is a big dp, it will affect the whole story. I almost hope though, that the 'no option is picked, I think the idea I have for that choice is the best, but now I'm trying to influence the system. Voters, the fate of our plucky protagonist is in your hands!
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Crossfire
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| Posted: Sat May 12, 2007 2:51 am Post subject: |
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I voted Yes, unconditionally. Why not? You might as well take every advantage you can get... Congratulations by the way, Crunchyfrog, you posted the 100,000th post! You win a cookie! *hands him a cookie*
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Argonaut
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| Posted: Sat May 12, 2007 8:11 am Post subject: |
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| I admit it, I was influenced. I wanna see what neat idea Geek Girl has up her sleeve.
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Geek_girl72
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| Posted: Sat May 12, 2007 8:47 pm Post subject: |
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Thanks Argo, at least I won someone over . Now if only it will win, right now it's a three way tie. (crosses fingers)
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| Posted: Sun May 13, 2007 2:59 am Post subject: |
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| DELETED
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Geek_girl72
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| Posted: Sun May 13, 2007 7:00 pm Post subject: |
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I'll talk more about the wall in the next chapter, but just to warn you it might be a bit of an anti climax, the story is not about getting away from this place, it's what happens outside them.
You gotta vote what you think is best Zeph Um...is it ethical to vote in your own poll?
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Geek_girl72
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| Posted: Wed May 16, 2007 1:26 pm Post subject: |
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Alright, 'yes' won the poll. I was hoping the poll would turn out different, but oh well, the next chapter will still be fun. The story really begins now.
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"My candle burns at both its ends, it will not last the night;
But ah, my foes, and oh, my friends, it gives a lovely light!"
-Edna St. Vincent Millay
Whodunnit?On hold till further notice
I Don't Believe in Fate: Chapter 13 is now released
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| What does Mr. Price decide? |
| Just isn't right: He says no |
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33% |
[ 2 ] |
| Well, for a little while: Yes on the condition she goes back |
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16% |
[ 1 ] |
| Why not? He says yes. |
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50% |
[ 3 ] |
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| Total Votes : 6 |
| : |
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