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Geek_girl72
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 Posted: Wed Oct 04, 2006 10:37 am Post subject: Beyond the Walls: New chapter out at last! |
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Warning! This chapter is long, and moves a little slow. Don't be discouraged! It'll pick up in the next chapter.
Chapter 1: Haven
James lay stretched out on the top of a grassy hill, eyes riveted on an old book and an intense concentration in her face. The Walls of Haven rose up all around her like waves on a stormy sea, poised to drown their victims without mercy. But James was blissfully unaware of this effect, for now. In her mind, she was plummeting through space in a crippled star ship, desperately fighting off a boarding party. Guns and fuel tanks were exploding, soldiers were shouting, and the commander was hit! The enemy surged forward; a medic bravely took up his leader’s weapon and fought to save him. The battle could go either way. Retreats. Advancing. Tactics. Shouting. The commander was on his feet again! But his men were falling. Explosions. Screams. Bravery. Suspense. Was it enough? Would good or evil win the day? James’ hart raced as the fight grew more desperate. Something had to give soon.
In the real world a cold gust of wind swept over the hill, but James didn’t notice. She stared into her book as if about to fall into it, her eyes sparkling and mouth moving in silent recitation of the words in front of her. In the distance, a voice called her name, but still she didn’t stir. Footsteps accompanied by labored breathing gradually grew louder until a slightly pudgy young man gained the peak. He mopped his brow and panted for a second then caught sight of the glued to her book. James was nothing remarkable to look at. Her hair was brown like most people in Haven, except for the barest hint of red. Her eyes were dull brown, her face nondescript. Just like most Haven women, she was roughly 5’7” and neither slim or plump. As far as appearances went, she was perfectly orthodox. Some would perhaps have called her pretty; others would most certainly have not. The young man belonged to the latter class. He shook his head in disgust at seeing her so engrossed and stalked towards her.
“I should have known you’d be here. Do you have any idea how long you’ve been missing?”
James started and glanced up at the red puffy face dripping with perspiration and annoyance. She rolled her eyes and snapped the book shut.
“Hello Brian, what horrible thing have I done now?”
“Only made half the city look for you. You can’t just disappear like this James.”
James stood to her feet and brushed the dirt and grass from her clothes a little too vigorously. She didn’t look Brian in the eye when she spoke.
“Half the city? More like Aunt Hazel and you. And I don’t know why you even bother.”
With that James headed down the hill. Brian followed in silence. Both James and Brian had grown up together in the same apartment building, and their parents had been good friends before James’ mother and father died. But the two teenagers themselves had nothing in common. Brian was docile, mild-mannered, and apparently profoundly content with his life. James couldn’t stand sitting still, had a quick temper, and was insatiably curious about everything. Their respective parents used to talk about how it was nice that two people could be so different and still be friends, but the real truth was that they had simply gotten used to each other, nothing more. Brian had about as much sympathy for James as he would a stray dog. He didn’t understand her. He did everything to show her he thought she was weird. He also teased her about her name constantly. In turn James ignored him as much as possible. As they made their way down hill, James looked at the Walls all around her and felt a weight descend on her shoulders. She never talked about it, but the sight of them depressed her. The great Walls that everyone else saw as safety made her feel trapped.
There was no spot in the city you couldn’t see them from. They shadowed the whole population with their inexorable reality. Sometimes James would stare at them and feel something very difficult to explain. It was like an echo. A message muffled by its own reverberation, followed by soul-shattering silence. It made James want to sob aloud whenever she felt it. And yet she would have rather died than stop feeling it. Though she couldn’t say why, James wanted nothing more than to share this secret with someone. But she never dared. It would have killed her to speak of something so personal, and be laughed at. And who would have understood anyway? No one knew or cared what lay outside Haven except James. And for all they knew there was no way out anyway. That thought rang in James head like a death sentence: There was no way out. She was stuck here. Trapped. Especially now, with Brian the Mindless Wonder walking beside her, James felt a despair so deep she believed she’d suffocate. But no matter how bad things are they can always get worse, as the saying goes. Brian decided to prove it by offering some constructive criticism.
“I don’t get why those stupid books are so important to you James, a lot of nonsense about wars that never happened and heroes that never lived. It’ll rot your brain if you let it.”
“A rotten brain is better than none at all.”
“Hey! Take it easy. I’m just trying to be helpful.”
“You’re trying to be superior. If you think you’re better than me just come right out and say it to my face. Don’t act like you mean well.”
“I do mean well. James, you’re not happy. Even I can see that. Why?”
James looked into Brian’s pudgy face that was etched with a concern atypical for him. She was silent a long time, than finally spoke.
“Brian, do you ever…wonder about stuff? About Haven?”
“What’s to wonder about? There are no closed off sections or anything like that.”
“That’s not what I meant. I mean, how did it get here? Who built it? Do you ever think about that?”
“Well, I can’t say I do. It’s here, we’re here, what else matters?”
James sighed in frustration. She looked around at the Walls towering above them and bit her lip. Brian seemed to think he had made some terrific point and strutted the rest of the way home like a flabby rooster. Inwardly, James felt like tearing her hair out. Just once she would like to find someone who understood what she was trying to say. Someone who knew what it was like to want something more. It would have been such a relief. But everyone in Haven seemed content with what they had, and looked at her as being ungrateful for not joining them.
It was evening when the pair reached the apartment building. James’ Aunt Hazel was annoyed but not surprised to discover where she had been. Hazel told her to act like the adult she was and stop disappearing without notice. She than went on to say that even though James was 19 she dreaded her moving out if she continued to behave in this irresponsible way. James had graduated from school the year before but had stayed Living with her Aunt. It was more like her Aunt stayed living with her, since it was James’ apartment, but Hazel forgot the difference a lot. When James’ parents had died, Hazel had taken it upon herself to raise her. She’d taken good care of her as a kid, and because of this James kept silent about most of the little annoying traits her Aunt had; even if her Aunt never kept back her opinion of her niece.
James broke away from her Aunt’s reprimands as quickly as possible and announced she was going to sleep. She retreated to the small room in the back of the ground floor apartment and locked the door. Her Aunt never bothered her after she turned in, but it was better to be safe than sorry. She quickly placed her book on the shelf by her bed, which was lined with titles like: Regiment 134, The Exploits of General Valcarye, The Great War, and many others. Most of them were narratives about Heroes and events that shaped the History of Galactic States. They held fantastic tales beyond even the most imaginative person’s ability spin. Who originally wrote the multitude books no one knew. They all dealt with the same imaginary time period and setting, and mostly followed a handful of people and groups. Aunt Hazel didn’t approve of them. She said fantasy was only for people who couldn’t face reality, and saw James’ fascination with it as a weakness. It wasn’t this James was thinking of though.
She hastily grabbed a jacket from her closet and a thick, weather-beaten notebook. James then very carefully opened her window so as not to make any noise. A well-placed trashcan made it possible to climb out fairly easily, and in seconds she was free for the night. As her feet hit the pavement, she smiled for the first time that day. She broke into a run simply because there was no one around to stare. After a few minutes she stopped to catch her breath and opened her notebook. Directions were something that always confused her, so she had them written down for referral. James continued on her way, consulting her book every now and then, until she rounded a corner and found herself standing at the base of the east Wall. Over time she had compiled a list of places that had something interesting about them. This place had a crack. There, right in front of her, was a little crack in the supposedly indestructible Wall. It was too narrow to see through, but if you pressed your ear against it and listened carefully, you could hear something.
It was a sound James had never heard anywhere else, and didn’t know the cause of. A faint rustling, repeating itself at regular intervals. It was far off and hard to distinguish, but there, a link to the world outside of Haven. James closed her eyes and listened, feeling at peace for the first time in a long while. There was something soothing in the gentle sound, and it rang bells at the back of her head. Where had she heard that sound? No, she hadn’t heard it, it had been described to her. She wrinkled her forehead and thought hard. The dim stars twinkled overhead and the wind whispered through the streets. Suddenly it hit her. She jumped with the force of the revelation and its implications. Without another thought she turned and ran back home as fast as her legs would carry her. Quick as lightening she climbed back through her window, grabbed a certain book and tiptoed out into the den. She could hear her Aunt snoring on the couch and paused.
Who would she tell? Something like this had to be told. Brian. She’d tell Brian. No one else would have pretended to listen anyway. James made up her mind and dashed up three flights of stairs and practically broke down the door of Brian’s apartment with her pounding. An irritated Brian opened the door and started at seeing James glowing and out of breath. He took a long time to say anything, as if framing his words carefully. Brian did not like James, but he had the most unfounded apprehension that his neighbor was secretly in love with him. I’m afraid he thought this unexpected visit was some sort of confession, and he would have embarrassed himself horribly had he spoken first. Luck was with him however, and James opened her mouth before the young man got a chance to put his foot in his.
“Brian! I’m sorry, but I’ve got to tell someone. I’ve found the most incredible thing, you’ve got to come with me to the east Wall right now.”
“Now? Can’t this wait till morning?”
“No, it can’t. I’m afraid I’ll forget. Please Brian? I’ll implode If I don’t show someone.”
“Oh, alright. I have I feeling I’ll regret this though.”
James grabbed Brian’s hand and dragged him down the stairs and out the door. After two minutes he was huffing and puffing like a steam engine, but James didn’t notice. Brian was just about to beg for a rest when James stopped abruptly in front of her wall.
“Well Brian?”
“Um…It’s a Wall.”
“Don’t be tiresome. Can’t you see it?
“There’s a crack right there, whoop-de-do.”
James rolled her eyes and sighed with impatience.
“Look Brian, stand right here like this. Put your ear to the crack. Now just wait a second.”
Brian arched his eyebrows in a clear signal he thought James had gone crazy, but he complied. For a minute he just stood there annoyed. But then surprise flashed across his face and he cupped his hand around his ear to hear better.
“Hey! I do hear something. It’s like a…a…I can’t describe it…”
“I can!”
James excitedly interjected and flung her book open. She leafed rapidly through the pages, stopping somewhere halfway. She sighed as if in relief and began reciting:
“Rustling with heavy sleep
Iridescent mirror-sky
Echoing secrets deep
In rhythmic heaving sigh”
“…James, please don’t tell me you dragged me all the way out here to read some stupid poem.”
“It’s the ocean Brian! Haven is near an ocean!”
“Right. This couldn’t wait?”
James stared at her neighbor, hurt at his lack of enthusiasm. She opened and closed her mouth several times, not knowing what to say in the face of such apathy.
“Brian, don’t you get it? Doesn’t this mean anything to you?”
Brian shifted his weight from one foot to the other restlessly. He didn’t look James in the eye and ran his hand through his hair in a nervous manner.
“No James, not really. I never think about that stuff, and I don’t care.”
Brian emphasized his last three words and turned to go. James grabbed his arm, forcing him to face her. She was getting red in the face.
“Brian, how can you say that? How can you not even care that there’s something out there?”
Now James got a shock. Impassive, understated Brian threw off James’ restraining hand violently and stepped back. His own face was flushed crimson, and James thought she saw tears welling up in his eyes.
“I don’t care James, because it doesn’t do any good. It doesn’t matter what’s out there, we aren’t. We can’t leave any more than we could visit another planet. And there’s nothing we can do to change that. Ever. So why torment yourself? Why tear yourself apart over something when you can’t do anything about it?”
James stood frozen to the spot, too stunned to speak. Brian wiped his eyes hastily and turned back towards the street.
“I’ve got to work in the morning, I’m going home now. I can’t believe I let you drag me out here.”
He stalked off, leaving James in the narrow ally. She suddenly felt exhausted and sank down against the solid Wall. She rested her head just beneath the crack, the sound of waves squeezing through. For hours she just sat there, not moving a muscle or making a sound. Somewhere off in the distance, a low rumble began. It grew in volume and reverberated across the whole city. A second one followed in quick succession, and then there was silence.
* * * * * *
The next day dawn just like any other. People bustled around the city doing what they always did. Upstairs Brian hit the snooze button three times. Downstairs Aunt Hazel woke up complaining about her back and the price of groceries. James ate her Breakfast quickly and rushed out the door like she did every day. She stepped out into the street without really knowing where she was going. The episode of last night had left her troubled, so she wandered around trying to clear her head. They say everything happens for a reason, and James’ life was perhaps the most convincing argument for that philosophy. If she hadn’t been so out of spirits, she never would have walked around parts of Haven she didn’t know well. And she never would have gotten lost. And most importantly, she never would have stumbled into a very un-ordinary situation.
It all started when the realization that none of the buildings were familiar first hit her. She did a slow 180-degree turn in attempt to get her bearings. But James had a horrible sense of direction, and for the next several minutes kept thinking she had her position figured out only to find herself even more hopelessly lost. After a while James caught something out of the corner of her eye. It was a run down building she recognized as being about a three blocks away from her home. She ran forward and relief coursed through her, until she rounded the corner and collided with a man who was likewise running at breakneck speed. Both tumbled to the ground with the wind knocked out of them. The man stifled a cry and scrambled to his feet while James tried simultaneously to stand up and apologize in way that would restore some of her dignity.
“I’m sorry sir, please excuse me. I didn’t see…”
James didn’t get a chance to finish though. No sooner had the man recovered than he grabbed her, clamped his hand firmly over her mouth, and dragged her into the dilapidated structure. James kicked and fought for all she was worth, but it was no use. The man was incredibly strong and all her efforts didn’t even faze him. The hauled her into the farthest corner of the moldy room and pushed her facing him against the wall. He didn’t look at her though, and kept his eyes toward the door. For a moment he stood there tense as a tightrope walker and waited for something. When nothing came he seemed to relax and turned his attention back to the frantic girl. He lessened his grip and spoke in a calm, soothing voice.
“Don’t panic, I’m not going to hurt you. I know what you must be thinking, but you’ve got it wrong. Just calm down. I’ll let you go if you won’t scream.”
James stopped struggling and nodded her head to show she agreed. He slowly let go and stepped back with his hands half raised in a gesture of truce. James didn’t believe him, but she knew if she screamed the man wouldn’t give her another chance. Her plan was to get him talking, convince him she trusted him until he let his guard down. She got a good look at the man now for the first time. He was tall and strongly built, with hair and blue eyes. The last two traits were extremely uncommon in Haven. He was wearing black pants made of a material James didn’t recognize, and a white tee-shirt beneath a black and red jacket. He clutched his side a little with one hand, making James think she had fought pretty well after all. She had never seen someone quite like him before, and a little of her fear vanished as curiosity took over. The man saw her tension decrease, and tried to reassure her again.
“Just take it easy. I’m not trying to trick you. Forgive me for scaring you like that, but I had no choice.”
The man’s voice had a strained quality to it this time. He winced with pain and half fell against the wall. His hand dropped form his side and his jacket swung open. As it did so James recoiled. The bottom half of his shirt was torn and almost entirely soaked with .
“What happened to you?”
“A gang jumped me back there, I was trying to shake them when I ran into you.”
James’ eyes widened. The man had probably saved both their lives by dragging her in here. He cradled his side and sank down into a sitting position, trying unsuccessfully to hide how much pain he was in. James realized how serious the man’s condition was and felt a twinge of guilt for fighting so hard. The man took several deep breaths and struggled to remain conscious. It wasn’t working. James knelt down next to him and tried to help.
“Mr.? Are you al right? Should I get someone?”
The man was weakening fast, but he shook his head and fought to speak.
“N…no. They might …still be there…don’t give us away…They’ll kill us both.”
His eyelids were drooping and his voice was very feeble. Even so, he refused to ask for her help. James thought he must be very self-sacrificing or very proud. It was difficult to tell which. The man leaned his head against the wall and closed his eyes. James started to panic. She had no idea what to do with a serious wound and if the man didn’t get help soon he’d bleed to . Then again, if the gang was waiting outside they’d both probably die. James thought hard, trying to figure out what was the least dangerous thing to do.
_________________
"My candle burns at both its ends, it will not last the night;
But ah, my foes, and oh, my friends, it gives a lovely light!"
-Edna St. Vincent Millay
Whodunnit?On hold till further notice
I Don't Believe in Fate: Chapter 13 is now released
Lost n' Spacey On hold till Further Notice
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Last edited by Geek_girl72 on Fri May 11, 2007 7:30 pm; edited 10 times in total
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Argonaut
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| Posted: Wed Oct 04, 2006 11:26 am Post subject: |
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Very cool begining, good description, good characterization, really well written 
now what to do? she could try and treat his wound somehow but James dosn't know any first aid it seems. That will probably not be effective then. She knows this building is 3 blocks from her building. It feels like a modern city, so I'd assume they have telephones or something to call emergency medics and police. She could make a break for it, get home and call for help. I'd say look for another way out of the building and sneak around alleys to get home but she might get lost. So check if the coast is clear and run like hell!
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Wed Oct 04, 2006 7:50 pm Post subject: |
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Very good start GG! I enjoyed reading it.
What to do? Mmm, well, try and staunch the bleeding first, then I can only f5 Argo. Go and get help, carefully checking the area first.
Rifle through his pockets as well, see if you can't find some info.
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Kalanna Rai
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| Posted: Wed Oct 04, 2006 7:51 pm Post subject: |
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*rolls eyes and flicks some Wall dust off her nose* Well I certainly survived that...and am rather interested as well.
My suggestion would be to tear off a couple strips of clothing, press one against the wound and wrap the other one around it as tightly as she can. She's read enough fantasy books that this should have come up in one of them, it certainly comes up in the ones I've read.
This should buy her a little time. Then just saunter out of there like it's the most normal thing in the world for you to be there and head for your building like you've got all the time in the world. Running would just alert anyone who's actually looking that you're doing something you're not supposed to.
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Geek_girl72
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| Posted: Thu Oct 05, 2006 5:28 am Post subject: |
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Looks like you all have pretty much the same idea, who would let some nice mystery guy bleed to anyway?
_________________
"My candle burns at both its ends, it will not last the night;
But ah, my foes, and oh, my friends, it gives a lovely light!"
-Edna St. Vincent Millay
Whodunnit?On hold till further notice
I Don't Believe in Fate: Chapter 13 is now released
Lost n' Spacey On hold till Further Notice
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Geek_girl72
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| Posted: Sat Oct 14, 2006 6:38 pm Post subject: |
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Okay, sneak around won the poll. I'l probably get the second chapter up after 'the Zealot', so it should be about a week to a week and a half.
_________________
"My candle burns at both its ends, it will not last the night;
But ah, my foes, and oh, my friends, it gives a lovely light!"
-Edna St. Vincent Millay
Whodunnit?On hold till further notice
I Don't Believe in Fate: Chapter 13 is now released
Lost n' Spacey On hold till Further Notice
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(='.'=)This is Bunny. Copy and paste Bunny
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Argonaut
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| Posted: Sat Oct 14, 2006 10:18 pm Post subject: |
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| Can't wait to read it Geek Girl. Great characters, I love James, I already really want to see her find a way out of the city
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| Posted: Tue Oct 31, 2006 12:27 pm Post subject: |
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| Posted: Wed Nov 01, 2006 11:35 am Post subject: |
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I haven't seen either of those movies, but this is not some type of evil empire story if that's what you mean. I'm trying to make this one interesting, but a bit more light hearted than my other ones, no secret societies or overlords or anything.
_________________
"My candle burns at both its ends, it will not last the night;
But ah, my foes, and oh, my friends, it gives a lovely light!"
-Edna St. Vincent Millay
Whodunnit?On hold till further notice
I Don't Believe in Fate: Chapter 13 is now released
Lost n' Spacey On hold till Further Notice
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(='.'=)This is Bunny. Copy and paste Bunny
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Geek_girl72
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| Posted: Tue Nov 14, 2006 7:09 am Post subject: |
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Sorry it's taking me so long to finish the chapter. I've gotten mega bogged down with school work and have had to slow down my writing a little.
_________________
"My candle burns at both its ends, it will not last the night;
But ah, my foes, and oh, my friends, it gives a lovely light!"
-Edna St. Vincent Millay
Whodunnit?On hold till further notice
I Don't Believe in Fate: Chapter 13 is now released
Lost n' Spacey On hold till Further Notice
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(='.'=)This is Bunny. Copy and paste Bunny
(")_(")into your signature to help him gain world domination.
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| Posted: Tue Nov 21, 2006 12:11 pm Post subject: |
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Chapter 2: Justin
James took a deep breath and tried to calm herself down. Panic would not help the situation. She looked around the room and saw another door at the back. Carefully she opened it and scanned the back ally. No one was in sight, so she tip-toed out into the dim street. Taking a moment to regain her nerve, she straightened her clothes a little to hide any sign of a scuffle.
“Everything’s okay, you’re just out for a stroll. Keep it together girl, everything’s okay.”
She kept repeating in her head as she forced her feet to take the broken pavement slowly. Her heart wouldn’t stop hammering in her chest though, and her eyes darted this way and that for any sign of danger. After a hundred years of ducking behind dumpsters and suppressing heart-attacks at the slightest sound, she approached a blind corner. The noise of people moving in the street could be heard faintly, and James welcomed it with a sigh. Something about the every-day sound brought the strangeness of what had happened to James full-force down on her shoulders. In spite of herself she stopped abruptly like she’d run into a wall. The fear that she had imagined the whole thing washed over her. She stood still in the back street, fighting waves of self doubt. Could something like this really happen? To you? Reason threw at her. James shook herself in attempt to snap out of the depressing reverie.
“I hate blind corners.”
She muttered aloud, and forced her feet to move again. Broad daylight greeted her around the bend, as well as the end of the ally. She pushed down the urge to make a run for it, shoved her hands deep into her pockets, and walked on. Not one person gave her a second glance as she passed them by, despite her disheveled appearance. Five minutes of uneventful walk brought her to the door of her apartment building. The second the door swung closed on the outside world the dam burst, and James ran like crazy a person to her room. Later that day James paced the floor of a large, rather noisy hospital waiting room, biting her nails incessantly. A man in scrubs and sneakers entered carrying a clipboard and an air of indifference.
"Miss? You the one who called in the guy with a stab wound?"
"Yes, that's me. How is he?"
"Oh, fine. Perfectly fine. Good thing he got here when he did though, you may have saved his life."
"Then he's okay?"
The doctor stopped scribbling on his clipboard and looked at James peevishly.
"I just said that didn't I? Look, I need to know if you know anything about him, name, where he lives, anything?"
"No, He's a complete stranger."
"Shoot! He didn't have any identification on him at all. I'll have to call the police, fill out a mountain of paper work..."
“Um, is it alright if I go and see him now?”
The doctor rolled his eyes and retuned his attention to his clipboard while speaking.
“No, he can’t see anyone right now because stab wounds are contagious. Of course you can! Follow me.”
He muttered something James couldn’t make out and turned scratching curtly on his board. James followed him down the crowded white hallway that smelled strongly of disinfectant and Jello, finally arriving at the right room after some kind of confusion. The door was ajar, and a male voice emanated from it laced with suppressed irritation.
“Look lady, I don’t need a wheelchair. I’m fine. They bandaged me up all nice and I’m perfectly capable of walking on my own.”
The pair entered to see the blonde man half sitting on the hospital bed trying to fight off a well-meaning nurse. His voice was strong enough but his face a little too pale. The nurse kept trying to support him standing up and getting shooed away. The doctor dismissed the nurse with a nod and raised his clipboard again.
“Uh sir, before we release you we need to know a couple things.”
The man didn’t look at the doctor, but wandered around the room as if looking for something while he answered.
“My name is Justin Grey, and before you ask, no I don’t have any preexisting medical conditions, allergies, or any such thing you should know about. I don’t know who jumped me and I don’t want to give the police a statement.”
The Doctor seemed a bit disappointed and let his clipboard fall to his side.
“Right, well then, I’ll be back to check on you later.”
Justin didn’t acknowledge the sentence and kept up his search. The doctor stood for a second as if waiting for a reply, then left a bit sheepishly when none came. James stayed and watched the man wander around the room and grow increasingly frustrated.
“What are you looking for?”
Justin started and whirled around. At the sight of the girl standing quietly in the corner a change came over his face. A surprised expression mixed with something akin to guilt washed over him. He looked hard at her as if trying to determine weather or not he had seen her before.
“Wait a minute. You’re the one who called me in?”
“Yes, what did you expect?”
“I didn’t expect you to brave a gang on a killing spree for a complete stranger.”
He muttered the words more to him self than to anyone, and stood staring off into oblivion. He snapped himself out of it a moment latter, and turned towards James with the slightest of smiles.
“Well, thanks, I honestly thought I was done for back there. Madison has a tendency to play rough.”
“Madison? I thought you told the guy you didn’t know who jumped you.”
Immediately Justin saw his mistake. His face fell and for a moment he tried to brush it off. James kept looking at him expectantly though, till with a gesture of defeat he looked her in the eye again.
“Look miss, I didn’t want to talk to the police. If I did I really would be done for.”
“But the police could protect you; that’s what they do. And if they ask me anything about it-”
Alarm spread over Justin’s face. He stepped closer and regarded James earnestly.
“You can’t do that. This gang is…is… I don’t know how to describe them. They’ll do anything to get what they want. Anything. Please, you saved my life once today, and it’s in your hands again.”
James looked at the man and felt a well of pity rising up in her. Despite his size and build, she honestly felt like he needed her help. I’m afraid to say James wasn’t immune from conceit either, and the idea gave her a bit of a swelled head. Pride and pity is one of the most dangerous combinations there is, as James was about to find out.
“Okay, if it’s that important, I won’t say anything.”
Justin sighed with relief and ran his hand through his hair. He stood for a moment lost in thought, then addressed James more seriously then he had before.
“Thanks doesn’t even cover it miss. Uh, what is your name anyway?”
“It’s James.”
“James? That’s an…unusual name for a girl. Is it short for something?”
“No, my parents were expecting a boy, and the name just sort of stuck.”
“Well then…James, needless to say I’ve got to get out of here and make myself scarce. Any idea where they put my clothes? I can’t go walking out of her in this hospital get-up.”
“In a box under the bed. They got rid of your shirt though, it was a bio-hazard.”
Justin nodded and hurriedly grabbed the plastic box. He stood upright and looked at James as if waiting for something. When James just stood there, he arched his eyebrows and spoke a little impatiently.
“Do you mind?”
“Oh! Sorry.”
James exited the room and waited out in the hallway blushing a little. Nurses and patients were coming and going, accompanied by the occasional harried physician. Off set by the coughs, beeping, and other parts of the hospital din, James again thought about the strangeness of this day. More specifically, Justin himself struck her as being completely different than most people you’d bump into in Haven. It wasn’t just his uncommon physical traits either; there was a tone in his voice, a way he carried himself that made him stick out. It was like seeing a burst of color in a black-and-white world: interesting, but odd. The man in question stepped out of the room, zipping his jacket up to his chin.
“Okay, which way is the quickest out of this place?”
James smiled for some unknown reason, and led her unusual companion down the corridor. She felt the urge to say something, but couldn’t think of anything intelligent-sounding. Justin seemed pre-occupied with whatever problems he had, so the two continued in silence. When they rounded a corner to the main lobby, Justin suddenly froze in his tracks. A split second later he ducked back around the corner and pressed himself to the wall.
“Justin? What’s the mat-”
“Shh! See those two guys standing at the desk? The ones with the black coats?”
“Yeah.”
“That’s part of the gang that got me earlier.”
James stiffened. The two men standing at the desk were apparently inquiring something of the receptionist. One had the hood of his coat pulled over his face, so James couldn’t see what he looked like. The only things visible were that he was considerably taller than anyone James had ever seen and had limbs the size of cannons. The second one was un-hooded and turned towards James enough for her to get a good look at him. He had an earnest expression and muted demeanor. His words to the receptionist were delivered in a slow, deliberate manor with his hands clasped in front of him. It was difficult for James to imagine him committing any act of violence, but there was the living proof standing next to her. Unfortunately he had spotted Justin ducking back around the hallway. He broke off his conversation with the receptionist and motioned his gargantuan cohort to follow him towards Justin’s hiding place. James fought to keep calm.
“Uh, I think we’ve been found out Justin. They’re coming right towards us.”
Justin slammed his fist against the wall. He looked at James suddenly and the wheels in his head started to turn.
“I’ve got an idea, stick close to me and you should be alright.”
With that he took hold of her arm and sprinted down the hall. It was all James to could do to keep up with him, and she felt a bit of sympathy for what she had inflicted on Brian the night before. Justin dashed through the hallways of the hospital, ignoring the stares and complaints of the residents. Gradually the crowd began to thin, something James wasn’t sure she liked. The sinister pair behind them were closing the gap, especially the big one hiding his face. Even though they had started with a good lead, he was rapidly getting closer. To James, her feet seemed like lead and the earth shook every time the assailant’s hit the ground. He was even closer now, In a moment he would be right on top of them. Just when she was certain the colossal villain’s hand was stretching out the grab her, Justin ducked into the stairwell and slammed the door closed, locking it behind him. Without pausing, he practically dragged James after him. A second later she knew why. The door separating them from imminent death shuddered violently. The big man was throwing his whole self against it in attempt to break it down. Justin halted on the second floor landing, catching his breath and fixing James with a serious gaze.
“Listen, can you be brave enough to do something for me? It’s going to sound crazy, but it could save our lives.”
“Just tell me what it is.”
Justin smiled and clapped his hand on James’ shoulder.
“Good, I need you to go up these stairs alone.”
“Alone? But I can’t out run-”
“You won’t have too. I’ll duck in here, they’ll break through the door, here the sound of you running up the stairs, go past me, and I’ll sneak up behind them and take them out.”
If you have ever had a friend who liked sky diving, base jumping, or anchovy pizza, you’ll get an idea of how James reacted inwardly. She cast a quick critical gaze at Justin, unsure if he could take both assailants on armed with nothing but surprise. But then again, she had already put her foot in it with her tough talk, and to back out would look cowardly. Another thud sounded against the door, accompanied by alarming creaks and groans. It wouldn’t hold out forever.[color=blue][/color]
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But ah, my foes, and oh, my friends, it gives a lovely light!"
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Argonaut
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| Posted: Tue Nov 21, 2006 2:29 pm Post subject: |
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| The opposite way seems like it would work better. James should run downstairs and Justin should hide above them. If he's going to surprise attack them from behind, he should have the high ground. easier to kick them in the head that way
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| Posted: Tue Nov 21, 2006 4:37 pm Post subject: |
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| Quote: | | James took a deep breath and tried to calm herself down |
This could read better without the 'down' I think.
| Quote: | | After a hundred years of ducking behind dumpsters... |
Great line! 
| Quote: | | I’m afraid to say James wasn’t immune from conceit either, and the idea gave her a bit of a swelled head. Pride and pity is one of the most dangerous combinations there is, as James was about to find out. |
This paragraph seems out of place. The rest was in James' POV, and suddenly there is an author's comment in!
'offset' is one word.
| Quote: | | If you have ever had a friend who liked sky diving, base jumping, or anchovy pizza, you’ll get an idea of how James reacted inwardly. |
Again, author's comment.
Anyway, another chapter. About time! 
We must assume that he can take them out of course. However, I think Argo has a good point. Let them head down, then jump them from above, landing on one, and knocking the other down the stairs.
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Geek_girl72
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| Posted: Tue Nov 21, 2006 7:05 pm Post subject: |
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I didn't really think about the author comment stuff, maybe I could adjust to be her thinking to herself. If it doesn't work I'll just pull it out, because now that you mention it it does seem to disrupt the flow of things a little. Good idea about heading down instead of up. This actually fits with something James would think of, given all the adventure books she's read.
Question: What do you guys think of Justin's character? What kind of person does he seem like? I ask because there is a surprise coming up with him and I would like to see If anyone can see it coming.
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Argonaut
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| Posted: Tue Nov 21, 2006 8:03 pm Post subject: |
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| I would guess from the hints about how different he is, that he is either from somewhere outside the walls, or is someone who wants to find a way out like James. Of course he could also be a member of a rival gang but he seems like a loner type to me.
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| Posted: Wed Nov 22, 2006 7:31 am Post subject: Octopi revolution |
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Whats with the wall in the first place?
Here's an idea: she does as he says, but a doc shows up and sounds the alarm in a panic, so they jump out a window (or run down the stairs, or blow up the wall, or whatever) and end up next to a crack in the outer wall. It is big enough to see through, and James looks through, getting her first horrifying glimpse of the Sentient Ocutpi Revolutionarys attempting to break into te city by constructing (insert cool object here.)
Or it could just be a giant chicken.
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| Posted: Wed Nov 22, 2006 8:14 am Post subject: |
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lol, I'm afraid the universe to this story isn't as sinister as that. There is a sort of conspiracy, but it's not what you'd expect.
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| Posted: Sat Nov 25, 2006 10:33 am Post subject: |
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Hey all!
Just read through this, and it's a great story - I'll be continuing to follow it, and looking forward to the next chappy.
-Voted for following his plan, he's a bit of a mystery, isn't he? If she refuses or does something else, then how can she be sure anything unusual is ever going to happen to her again?
Solus
*edit*Ahhh! I just read all the comments. The down idea is actually quite a good one, I thought that just meant that she would be running away from him and going down instead of up.
Nvm, the up idea is fine, he can trip them up ok then
Either way is good - just not the chicken out one.
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| Posted: Mon Nov 27, 2006 5:28 pm Post subject: |
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A plot of evil is included.
I don't see it yet, but I sense it in the water...
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| Posted: Tue Nov 28, 2006 6:55 am Post subject: |
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Just be prepared for the unexpected, I'm trying to stay away from the run-of-the-mill stuff used to . Speaking of which, if anyone of you catch me doing that, please point it out
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| Posted: Tue Nov 28, 2006 3:46 pm Post subject: |
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Oh, is this a sequel-type thing to Dr. Franklin's Island?
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| Posted: Wed Nov 29, 2006 4:58 pm Post subject: |
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...I'm not sure what that is.
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| Posted: Wed Nov 29, 2006 5:00 pm Post subject: |
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YOU HAVEN'T READ DR. FRANKLIN'S ISLAND?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!??!?!?
My bleep, woman, read the book!
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| Posted: Wed Nov 29, 2006 5:31 pm Post subject: |
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Okay! Okay! Just don't start throwing things at me!
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| Posted: Thu Nov 30, 2006 6:28 am Post subject: |
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Well, it's a tie so far, I'll have to wait for someone to break it.
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| Posted: Thu Nov 30, 2006 5:24 pm Post subject: |
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| I will break ze tie, Go with Justin
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| Posted: Fri Dec 01, 2006 4:04 pm Post subject: |
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| Posted: Fri Dec 01, 2006 5:28 pm Post subject: |
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She tells him
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| Posted: Thu Dec 07, 2006 7:11 am Post subject: |
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Still a tie...
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| Posted: Thu Dec 07, 2006 10:44 am Post subject: |
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| Arrg! just go down people, it's a gooder idea
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| Posted: Thu Dec 07, 2006 2:38 pm Post subject: |
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F5.
It seems to be a tie between that and the first one..
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| Posted: Mon Dec 11, 2006 10:38 am Post subject: |
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Alright, doing what Justin told her won the poll. I'll try to get a chapter up soon, but it might in all honesty be after the holidays before I can put anything decent up.
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| Posted: Mon Dec 11, 2006 2:48 pm Post subject: |
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Aw, man! I wanted to establish a conflict!
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| Posted: Tue Dec 12, 2006 2:08 pm Post subject: |
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Don't worry, there will be plenty of conflict between charactres shortly. 
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Kalanna Rai
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| Posted: Tue Dec 12, 2006 2:15 pm Post subject: |
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Yay I'm glad, I would have commented but I completely forgot I was reading this one...sorry GG! I'm back now and will remember for the next time.
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Masterweaver
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| Posted: Wed Dec 13, 2006 4:19 pm Post subject: |
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I seriously think that James is the more logical type, with the exception of her belief in the unreal. She would take the safer path.
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Geek_girl72
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| Posted: Thu Dec 14, 2006 11:25 am Post subject: |
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School is turning out better than I thougth at first, I might get the third chapter up fairly soon.
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DukeReg
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| Posted: Sat Dec 16, 2006 3:35 am Post subject: |
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Well I seem to have missed the poll, but I get the idea that Justin is from outside the city as well.
I agree it seems odd to surprise someone from below them on a staircase. Unless he has no intention of fighting them, and intends to go downstairs as fast as possible while they go up after James.
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Masterweaver
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| Posted: Sat Dec 16, 2006 6:17 am Post subject: |
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Oh! Good Idea!
Make Justin the villian! Great plot twist!
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DukeReg
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| Posted: Sat Dec 16, 2006 5:25 pm Post subject: |
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| Masterweaver wrote: | Oh! Good Idea!
Make Justin the villian! Great plot twist! |
I think their relationship is too chance-based and unimportant for him to count as the villain to her hero. But something about the way he is written makes me think he would be quite capable of using her as a decoy (not thinking she would come to any real harm) while he escaped.
I guess we'll have to wait and see if this is the Justin surprise we were supposed to see coming...
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| What does Mr. Price decide? |
| Just isn't right: He says no |
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33% |
[ 2 ] |
| Well, for a little while: Yes on the condition she goes back |
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16% |
[ 1 ] |
| Why not? He says yes. |
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50% |
[ 3 ] |
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| Total Votes : 6 |
| Who Voted: Argonaut, Chinaren, Crossfire, Crunchyfrog, LordoftheNight |
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