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A Tale of IF. Last Episode - Not with a Whimper... Goto page 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9  Next   (currently a favorite of )    Storygames Home -> -> The Vault View previous topic :: View next topic   Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Mon Jan 02, 2006 10:09 pm    Post subject: A Tale of IF. Last Episode - Not with a Whimper... I couldn’t resist it. I know I have too many storygames going on, but this one is just begging to be written. Mind you, I have simply no idea where it will lead, but that’s half the fun!! A tale of IF. Chapter 1 – Order please! - Okay, mines a pint. It was a dark night, and a biting winter wind howled down the alleyways of the City. It whistled through Muaddibs’ district, where the paint Muaddib had slapped on the walls in a desperate effort to brighten up the area had already been covered over with billpostings. One* peeled off in the wind and fluttered to the ground to be stepped on by a couple Business ladies** hurrying back to their flat. It was simply too cold for business tonight. Not even Smee was on the prowl on such a cold eve, so there was half the business gone for a start. The wind blew on, through the run-down ‘Powers That Be’ District, where the sewer that Key had finally agreed to install had frozen in its gutter, making the middle of the street a treacherous place to walk. On up into the marketplace, where several discarded copies of the IF-quirer blew like unlikely pigeons past the shops, now shuttered and barred for the night. Up Toffee Hill road, towards the nobs’ district, where the City Council members resided in their grand mansions. Past the Mayor’s vast abode, still under repair from his record-breaking party, and round the corner past Smee’s mansion, where guardian Hellhounds roamed the grounds in search of rule-breakers and people who didn’t put a proper decision point in. Past all these and more the wind blew, howling through the cobbled streets and making the citizens of IF shiver inside their houses and poke the fire higher in the hearth, glad they were inside on such a night. Up it went, taking a discarded brassier from some unknown occupant with it, high in the air, flapping like a red and gold laced bat up over the gates of the Council building to bounce of a window before falling to the ground. On the other side of that very window an unusual meeting was taking place, unusual insomuch that many of the City Council were actually in attendance, and especially so as they had had to drag their sorry asses through the city in relative secrecy on such a night. Key had performed ‘The Summoning’. An unusual ritual which involved dressing up in leather garments and dancing around candles of peculiar shape. Most council members argued that this was an outdated form of summoning, and Key should just use the communications Orbs, but Key pointed out that most of the City Council were: ‘Slimy bastards who screen their incoming messages and ignore his calls.’ Hence the Olde way, which was more tiring, but had the advantage of being magically secure. Besides, Key rather liked the leather garments, though they were a little tight these days. Shady Stoat poked the enormous fireplace in the main hall, stirring up the already huge blaze even more. ‘Good grief woman, aren’t you hot enough already?’ complained Tramp in a Storm. ‘You would think with all that fur you would be the warmest of all of us!’ ‘It’s alright for you young un’s’ Stoat retorted, brandishing the poker and knocking a glass of whisky out of Powers That Be’s Hand by accident. ‘Oops! Sorry Powers. Some of us are a getting on a bit you know.’ ‘Hear hear sister!’ said Phang from her seat halfway down the hall. She had one leg hanging over the chair and was deep into her second bottle of Old Stoat Special Reserve. She was wearing a light robe and was obviously not feeling the cold at all. ‘Let’s have some order please!’ Shouted Smee, wielding a small hammer he had stolen from IngrotheChundyer’s cloak and banging it on the table. Ingro was over by the buffet table trying to pile more strawberry flavored pickled newt-eyes onto his plate, which Ravenwing had brought in, and so didn’t notice this small theft. ‘Now all of you lot! Come to order please!’ Key entered the room like a tank breaking through a house on D-Day. He had changed out of the leather summoning corset and into his normal red and yellow striped robes, making him look a little like a gigantic ambulatory beach ball. ‘Is that you Key?’ Said Muaddib, ‘I didn’t recognize you sober!’ Chinaren was sitting near the buffet, trying to eat some leftover mince pies and drink a glass of Gungle Juice red label, whilst simultaneously keeping an eye on his moneybags which he was sitting on. ‘Must be urgent for Key not to be drinking this late on in the night. Is the Blue Shellfish closed?’ Key ignored the banter and walked with dignity up to the head of the conference table where he sat down heavily in his chair, then stood up again to try and wipe off the cream cake that someone had placed there. Ethereal Fauna and Phang tittered and nudged each other. Key gave up, sat down again with a squishing sound and snatched the hammer away from Smee. Banging it down on the table he shouted in his booming voice. ‘City Council Members! Please come to order! Sit down you bunch of laggards!’ Slowly the room came to a semblance of order, delayed only a little due to a small argument between Stoat and Shanty over who owned the purple cushion. When everyone was finally seated Key stood his considerable bulk up and addressed the Council in his sternest voice. “Esteemed Council members, I have used the Olde Summoning to gather you here on this dark night, yes yes, I know it is not convenient, you will be recompensed for any business loss Chinaren, and no Powers, I haven’t forgotten about your request for new drains, ah… where was I? Oh yes. I have used the Olde methods to gather you here urgently, for a dire situation is facing us.’ The City Council members leaned forward as one as Key licked his lips nervously and glanced from left to right. When he spoke again he spoke in a low voice. ‘Esteemed colleagues. The situation is this…’ *Should any one have bothered to read it they would have seen: ‘Desperate and needy? No friends or family? Call Phang’s house of unlikely chance! We can offer…’ Whatever Phang could offer was lost to an unfortunate tear in the sheet. **Of the evening variety. >>>>>> Hehe! Alright! I have a few ideas, but let’s here some more! What could have forced our esteemed Mayor away from his booze and floozies to drag the whole council together? Is it a plot from OF? How about some fiendish shapeshifter invasion? (I quite like this idea) Suggestions please, use your imaginations and make them tasty! I have a good feeling about this story! <<<<<< _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Last edited by Chinaren on Fri Oct 06, 2006 7:22 am; edited 26 times in total Back to top Author Smee Revered IFian Joined: 16 Oct 2004 Posts: 5215 Location: UK Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Mon Jan 02, 2006 11:11 pm    Post subject: Entertaining start. Too early in the morning on the day back to work for me to have any interesting ideas that don't involve sleeping for another 4 hours. I'll be back later. Happy Writing. _________________ The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the Devil's own Satanic Herd! Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Mon Jan 02, 2006 11:28 pm    Post subject: Smees back! Hurrah! Even if he is sleeptyping! _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author Key King Joined: 08 Feb 2004 Posts: 2652 Location: The Royal Palace Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Mon Jan 02, 2006 11:35 pm    Post subject: I have a good feeling about this story, too, chinaren. I am sure it is destined for greatness. A few ideas of what might be ailing our fair city... * Due to the constant influx of fables, inflation has run rampant in the City. 100 fables barely buys a cup of coffee anymore. How do we get rid of the extra fables and avoid the collapse of our economy? * A tribe of giant ravenous moles from the Underdark has tunneled into the sewers. * The Idea Mines that supply all of the city's raw material are nearly depleted and will soon be empty. * A new superhighway is soon to be built directly between the City of OH and the City of IS, completely bypassing the traditional trade route that runs through the cities of IF and AHA. This would mean a huge loss of extortion fees, uh, tax revenue, which would spell disaster for our economy. Back to top Author Shady Stoat Elder Joined: 02 Oct 2005 Posts: 2950 Location: England Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Tue Jan 03, 2006 12:06 am    Post subject: Excellent first chapter - although I appear to have put on about thirty years over christmas (vows to go on a diet and lose it all again) How about... after the inexplicable mugging, maiming and general humiliation of one Mal-Fait in our streets of IF (some time shortly after the Arena of Death finished), his family have sent an OF-ian assassin out? Only those that hired him know his brief, but he may have multiple targets. I'll think some more. It's still early here Back to top Author LordoftheNight Revered IFian Joined: 11 Aug 2005 Posts: 5276 Location: Hell Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Tue Jan 03, 2006 5:51 am    Post subject: What - No. Not Mal-Fait. *Breaks down and sobs in corner* he had so much left to do with his life - win the Blood Bowl 'IF League' for one. I think an invasion from OF would be good, spear-headed by Mal-Fait. (much, much better) _________________ Punishment leads to Fear. Fear leads to Obedience. Obedience leads to Freedom. Therefore, Punishment leads to Freedom. Ave Dominus Nox A Fronte Praecipitium a Tergo Lupi Blood Bowl Scraping the Barrel A Tale of Four Swords Passion Back to top Author ethereal_fauna Perpetually Distracted Joined: 16 Feb 2005 Posts: 2567 Location: USA Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Tue Jan 03, 2006 6:08 am    Post subject: This one does sound entertaining. Some good ideas already, that I doubt I could best. Unless of course there was an impending melt-down at the IF nuclear power plant or something. Or maybe all the raw waste dumped into the city water supply was causing unusual mutations...like a few IFians were turning *gasp* normal somehow. _________________ The maker of a sentence launches out into the infinite and builds a road into Chaos and old Night, and is followed by those who hear him with something of wild, creative delight. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson Back to top Author Dean Guest Items Posted: Tue Jan 03, 2006 6:24 am    Post subject: Heheh, sounds like an interesting story. I've been writing for too long today, and can't think of any more ideas. But I do have one question: can I live in the attic? Back to top Author Idea master Magus Extraordinaire Joined: 10 May 2004 Posts: 1787 Location: Sneaking Idearium into your beverages. Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Tue Jan 03, 2006 8:12 am    Post subject: "Fellow Ifians, we are facing an evil plot from two of our number that did not show, plus one other. It seems that Idea Master and Cowofdoom666 have conspired against the rest of the city. With IM's magic and Cow's technical expertise, they plan to invent a machine that will make even the lowest person into a moderator...They are in league with Sorrow A, who has closed the Idea Mines with false riots and fires. We must put a stop to this action right away!" "Why don't we form a comitee and staff it with my brethren?" Asked Phang from a nearby chair. "A COMITEE?! Is that the best you can think of?" "It'd be a very bearucratic comitee..." "Are those three putting in proper grammer and decison points in their plots?" Queried Smee. "IT DOESN'T BLOODY MATTER!!" "Yes it does! Fido hasn't eaten in weeks! He's a bag of bones!" The rest of the rabble degenerated into a chaotic mass with their own ideas, ranging from a gigantic space vaccum* to evil robotic cheese. *Nicknamed anything from suckolot to Sir suckolous It's the best I could think of on short notice. Do ya like it Chin? _________________ ...So I've been summoned back from beyond the veil. ...No plans yet. Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Tue Jan 03, 2006 6:15 pm    Post subject: Mmm, I knew I shouldn't have asked for ideas! Now I am overwhelmed! I will leave this up for a few days and, and then I think for this one chapter, instead of a vote I may merge as many of these ideas as possible, in my own twisted way of course. Keep em coming! _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author Idea master Magus Extraordinaire Joined: 10 May 2004 Posts: 1787 Location: Sneaking Idearium into your beverages. Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Wed Jan 04, 2006 9:59 am    Post subject: I also haven't noticed D-Lotus, Resio, or the Rave and Wing twins. Feel free to use them in some evil plot as well. _________________ ...So I've been summoned back from beyond the veil. ...No plans yet. Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Thu Jan 05, 2006 6:46 pm    Post subject: I copied the list from the Moderators list in the CA, they should all be council members. Time for another chapter I think... _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Thu Jan 05, 2006 6:53 pm    Post subject: Chapter 2 - Devious machinations. Chapter 2 – Devious machinations. “Esteemed colleagues. The situation is this…” Key continued in his most dramatic voice, “It has come to my attention, from various cunning sources I have at my disposal...” “The ‘comfort ladies’ down at The Pampered Plumper” said Saxon out of the corner of his mouth to Cow of Doom, who nodded in agreement. “..at my disposal” continued Key in a loud voice frowning at Saxon, “…that a campaign of disruption, diversion, destruction and er, possible domination has been initiated by unknown hostile agents. My personal guess is it is those toilet weirdoes over in OF.” There was a general gasping and mumbling from the Council members, except for Phang who cheered. She had been drinking steadily since the day before, and was having trouble following events, or even remaining in her chair. “This is an outrage!” said Smee, banging on the table with his fist, and looking longingly at Ingro’s hammer, which Key still grasped. “What’s to be done?” asked Muaddib. “What have you heard?” asked Random at the same time. “Why?” asked Chinaren, spitting mince pie crumbs over the table and Sparta, who gave him an annoyed glance. Key leaned back in his throne, which creaked under the strain. “Why indeed Mr. Chinaren. Why indeed.” He twiddled with the hammer, which Ingro noticed for the first time and squinted to get a better look at it. “I believe it started about the time your Arena competition winner, that bloody Mal-Fat fellow was ambushed and given a sound thrashing on his way out of the city. I am also able to tell you that a certain 200Fables he won was forcibly removed from his person.” Key looked momentarily smug, as if remembering a particularly pleasant moment of money retrieval. “You and your bloody competition” said Cow of Doom. “If you had just put it in the Traditional area this would never have happened…” “Bah! I would not have made any money either” snarled Chinaren back. “I mean, who goes to that district anyway? Geeky students mostly. No money there, I may have well have put it in Linear.” Saxon started to rise from his seat in protest. “I’ll have you know…” “Gentlemen gentlemen!” interrupted Key, banging the hammer again and leaving circular marks on the table. “What started the whole affair is no longer the issue. What is the issue is that our precious City is essentially under attack. I have had reports coming in, subtle ones mind, of various incidents. Using my vast intellect…” He paused a moment as Shady Stoat seemed to have a coughing fit. “…Using my vast intellect and my spy network…” “You have a spy network?” asked Ravenwing. “How come we didn’t know about this?” “I knew” said Tramp. “I have been feeding them bogus information for months now.” Key glared at the two and they subsided. “Using a variety of methods available to me I have traced certain incidents back to the agents.” “The Wheelidib affair!” cried Idea Master. “No, that really was a shortage of labor at the time,” said Chinaren. “I had to pay my press-gangs overtime to recruit more workers, barely covered my costs.” He looked sad for a moment, and took a deep swig of Gungle juice to cheer himself up. “So what have they done?” Asked Stoat, taking a delicate sip of sherry from a pint mug and nibbling on a cream cake. Key sighed and put down the hammer. Ingro looked closely at it, then started to check his pockets. “Firstly, raw waste from the Idea mines has been slowly added to the water supply over recent weeks. I had an analysis done by Dean in his attic, and there can be no doubt. Mutation-causing levels of raw Idearium* waste are now present in our water.” There was an angry rumbling from the council though no one seemed to be panicking, probably because few of them actually drank the water, preferring stronger beverages. Key looked a little disappointed at the lack of reaction, but pressed on anyway. To his right Smee’s hand slowly edged towards the hammer. “Secondly, a large number of Giant Moles have been seen in the sewers…” He paused as Powers’ let out a long ironic laugh. “They have been voraciously eating everything that they can reach.” He paused for a moment. “Actually, the sewers have never been more efficient, I don’t know why we didn’t think of them before.” “Possibly because they climb out and eat people?” Suggested Random. Key shrugged, causing most of him to wobble. “I am sure any reports of half eaten bodies would have reached me by now.” “Acshully” slurred Phang, “theer sheems to have been a suspiss.. sushpsh… sush…a lot of meat piesh been sherved in the EVIL guildhoush lately…” she squinted at Chinaren suspiciously. Chinaren shrugged. “Don’t look at me. Lord of the Night does most of the cooking.” He paled a little as what he had just said sunk in. “Oh.” “Then there are the rumors of an Assassin loose in the city,” said Key, trying to divert attention back to the topic at hand. There was a slightly more alarmed response to this statement. “Who is the Assassin after?” asked Ingro, distracted from the hammer for a moment. Key shrugged again. “My sources haven’t revealed this information. However, in a more alarming turn of events, I believe the assassin could be a shape-changer!” “What?” Cried Jnmrcs, “That means it could look like anyone! Someone in this room could be the assassin even!” He looked wildly right and left. The council members looked at each other with sudden suspicion. “You know, Chinaren hadn’t been posting much lately.” accused Shanty. “Hey hey! I’ve been busy!” said Chinaren raising his hands. “Christmas is a busy time of year for business you know. More likely Dean. I mean it’s a bit suspect, him returning to the city at this particular moment! Co-incidence? I think not!” “No, it’s got to be Smee!” said Ethereal Fauna. “He disappeared recently, and now he comes back acting all innocent!” She narrowed her eyes at Smee suspiciously. Smee raised his arms in a gesture of innocence. “I was visiting relatives!” He protested. “Ay! In OF were they?” Said Idea Master, half standing and pointing a long, yellow nailed finger. “Ladies! Gentlemen! Things!” Key’s baritone voice rang out over a rising level of accusations. “Please! Calm down! I am sure we can get Dean to run some tests,” he paused a second. “Once we check him over first of course.” The Council members slowly subsided back into their chairs, still casting suspicious glances at each other. “I have also heard rumours that certain citizens have been working on a secret machine that would make anyone a moderator…” he was forced to stop speaking as the entire Council erupted. “What!?...Outrageous!... It must be stamped on at once!... Unthinkable!... A compete disaster!... It cannot be allowed!...” Everyone was on their feet and shouting angrily at the same time. Smee took the opportunity to sneak back the hammer whilst everyone was distracted. “Please calm down! Please, everyone!” Shouted Key, looking for his hammer and, failing to find it, banging Stoat’s mug on the table, sending sherry everywhere. Slowly the council members subsided, sinking back into their seats with angry rumblings. “So what do you propose to do about these hidden enemies of ours Key?” Asked Sparta. “That,” said Key relaxing a little, “is why I have summoned you eminent Council Members. The problems as I see them are:” he raised a pudgy finger, encrusted with rings of precious metals and jewels. “One. How to keep the giant rats…” “Moles” corrected Smee. “…moles, rats, whatever down in the sewers, efficiently cleaning but not eating any tax-payers and hence reducing revenue.” Another finger, equally jewelry laden joined the first. “Two. Find this shapeshifter assassin and either kill him, or (preferably) hand him over to Phang, when she has sobered up enough to stand anyway, for ‘interrogation’.” “Hurrah!” shouted Phang, having heard her name mentioned. She lifted her bottle, drank the remaining liquid and then slowly slid off her chair and under the table. Ethereal Fauna quickly stole her cushions. “Er, four?” Key raised another finger, but had lost count. “Do something about this waste problem from the Idea mines. Maybe dump it nearer OF or something. There may be other threats that I have not discovered yet of course.” “Yes yes, these matters are all very important and everything” said Idea Master standing up and banging his fist on the table. “What we want to know is: What about this moderator machine?” Several of the council nodded, and “hear hear” echoed around the room. Key raised his hand; showing off more gold than was extracted from the precious metal mines of IS in a month. “Please fellow Councilors, remain calm. I am sure we will think of something.” Leaning forward he added: “Together.” He reached out and took a deep draught from Stoat’s mug of sherry. “The question is, what?” Standing on an upturned flower pot outside and peering through the window a shadowy figure chuckled to see the Council of IF argue amongst themselves. Then the flower pot wobbled and chose that moment to crack, causing the figure to lose balance and fall backwards into the begonia bed with a dull thud… *Idearium: Extracted from the Idea Mines south of IF and processed in the various Idea mills to help generate the many storygames. The glowing blue waste from the process is carefully and scientifically dumped in the forest by men with wheelbarrows. >>>>>>>>>> Well there you have it IF fans. A glimpse inside the revered halls of the council. The city is being sabotaged! How shall we combat this insidious threat? Split into teams perhaps and investigate? Steal into the embassy of OF in the hope of finding something out? Call for a crate of Grog and get wasted? Draw a moustache on Phang while she is out cold? Currently the Council members are in this story, but fear not, other well known IFians will appearing in later episodes! Now then, let’s see what you can think of! *Covers his eyes* <<<<<<<<<<< _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author LordoftheNight Revered IFian Joined: 11 Aug 2005 Posts: 5276 Location: Hell Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Thu Jan 05, 2006 8:29 pm    Post subject: no - mal-fait got beat - its not fair he was going to lead your team to victory chinaren - but now Quote: that a certain 200Fables he won was forcibly removed from his person don't even think about deducting my fables key - i need all the ones i can get to save up for arena of death two i think the teams should split into groups... sorry, the council members should split into teams, and make their way throughout the city, to try and discover more knowledge. and i think i'm going to have to nominate this story chinaren - you're in luck "Meat Pie, guv'nor?" _________________ Punishment leads to Fear. Fear leads to Obedience. Obedience leads to Freedom. Therefore, Punishment leads to Freedom. Ave Dominus Nox A Fronte Praecipitium a Tergo Lupi Blood Bowl Scraping the Barrel A Tale of Four Swords Passion Back to top Author Shady Stoat Elder Joined: 02 Oct 2005 Posts: 2950 Location: England Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Thu Jan 05, 2006 11:42 pm    Post subject: Wonderful! What to do, what to do... Right. The most responsible members of the council are going to form teams and investigate the sewers, the embassy, the idea mines and anywhere sensible that they can think of. That's what the responsible people will do. THey'll probably end up with teams of 1 the moment their backs are turned! Let's see... the guild of EVILers is going to sneak back to their guildhouse and summon the dark forces to tell them what's going on. Meanwhile, the roleplayers are going to try and blow up the OFian embassy because they're sure those B******s are behind the whole thing. The techies are going to go away and 'look into' the problem of the Moderator Machine (ie. see if they can draw lots of diagrams and scribble lots of notes and work out how it's been done). There's probably more... but you begin to get the idea? *nudges Chinaren* Hey, you can open your eyes now! Back to top Author Muaddib Comrade Joined: 31 Dec 2004 Posts: 1765 Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Fri Jan 06, 2006 2:40 am    Post subject: Firstly we need to bring to attention the problem at Muaddib's district. Someone has been flooding ym domain with cheaper hoes-for-hire, and Ive steadily been losing money...JUSTICE! AT ONCE! Back to top Author LordoftheNight Revered IFian Joined: 11 Aug 2005 Posts: 5276 Location: Hell Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Fri Jan 06, 2006 2:53 am    Post subject: Shady Stoat wrote: Right. The most responsible members of the council are going to form teams and investigate the sewers, the embassy, the idea mines and anywhere sensible that they can think of. That's what the responsible people will do. THey'll probably end up with teams of 1 the moment their backs are turned! there's responsible members on the council now? _________________ Punishment leads to Fear. Fear leads to Obedience. Obedience leads to Freedom. Therefore, Punishment leads to Freedom. Ave Dominus Nox A Fronte Praecipitium a Tergo Lupi Blood Bowl Scraping the Barrel A Tale of Four Swords Passion Back to top Author Shady Stoat Elder Joined: 02 Oct 2005 Posts: 2950 Location: England Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Fri Jan 06, 2006 3:21 am    Post subject: lordofthenight wrote: Shady Stoat wrote: Right. The most responsible members of the council are going to form teams and investigate the sewers, the embassy, the idea mines and anywhere sensible that they can think of. That's what the responsible people will do. THey'll probably end up with teams of 1 the moment their backs are turned! there's responsible members on the council now? Okay then - jnmrcs and Smee form teams, only to find themselves left behind. Better? Back to top Author Smee Revered IFian Joined: 16 Oct 2004 Posts: 5215 Location: UK Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Fri Jan 06, 2006 3:25 am    Post subject: Entertaining as always Give me 5 minutes with my appropriated hammer and the moderator machine and we'll have no more problems. The moustache on Phang sounds unavoidable. I suggest Non-invisible invisible permanent rainbow biro manufactured by Chinaren Inc (although we can probably get one cheaper from Smeebay ). Perhaps a brave emissary of IF could travel to OF and speak with their leader (Padlock). Get the official OFian response to these claims. If I think of anything else I'll be back. Happy Writing. _________________ The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the Devil's own Satanic Herd! Back to top Author ethereal_fauna Perpetually Distracted Joined: 16 Feb 2005 Posts: 2567 Location: USA Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Fri Jan 06, 2006 3:37 am    Post subject: Hilarious, as expected. *draws moustache on Phang after stealing her cushions* And most likely I'll fill her hand with a dollop of slug slime...I've excess since appearing in that one story...and then tickle her nose with a feather. *giggle* Smee should take that hammer he's re-acquired and bash in the evil moderator making machine. *goes off to think some more* _________________ The maker of a sentence launches out into the infinite and builds a road into Chaos and old Night, and is followed by those who hear him with something of wild, creative delight. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson Back to top Author ethereal_fauna Perpetually Distracted Joined: 16 Feb 2005 Posts: 2567 Location: USA Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Fri Jan 06, 2006 3:39 am    Post subject: Smee wrote: Give me 5 minutes with my appropriated hammer and the moderator machine and we'll have no more problems. Take too long to type a post and someone steals your original ideas. _________________ The maker of a sentence launches out into the infinite and builds a road into Chaos and old Night, and is followed by those who hear him with something of wild, creative delight. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson Back to top Author Smee Revered IFian Joined: 16 Oct 2004 Posts: 5215 Location: UK Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Fri Jan 06, 2006 3:42 am    Post subject: Such an outrageous theft of Smeewaves _________________ The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the Devil's own Satanic Herd! Back to top Author ethereal_fauna Perpetually Distracted Joined: 16 Feb 2005 Posts: 2567 Location: USA Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Fri Jan 06, 2006 3:48 am    Post subject: *bottles Smeewaves and stores next to her stash of Smee Slime* _________________ The maker of a sentence launches out into the infinite and builds a road into Chaos and old Night, and is followed by those who hear him with something of wild, creative delight. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson Back to top Author Idea master Magus Extraordinaire Joined: 10 May 2004 Posts: 1787 Location: Sneaking Idearium into your beverages. Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Fri Jan 06, 2006 9:34 am    Post subject: I think that a competent team of mages could find the anwsers to most, if not all, of the problems. The problem is the competent part. The best mage in the city is drunk *hic* and many others are nowhere to be found. *Thanks, huge moles!* What we need...More than anything else...is... *Shudder* to recruit OFian mages to assist us in finding ours. Then we slay the buggers where they sleep. Thus solving a few problems/hatreds/blood fueds/general loathings/etc... _________________ ...So I've been summoned back from beyond the veil. ...No plans yet. Back to top Author Phang Elder Joined: 19 Sep 2004 Posts: 2160 Location: Phang's House of Mints Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Fri Jan 06, 2006 10:26 am    Post subject: Hilarious! Personally, once I've sobered up enough, I, Phang, Mistress of the Darkness and Queen of all that is Morally Wrong, shall dress up in the black-stained leather garb of the night warrior and hunt for the evil mastermind obviously behind everything...obviously stopping off for 'lunch' at the homes of every particularly good-looking male. _________________ Stuff here Da Huuuuub Back to top Author Key King Joined: 08 Feb 2004 Posts: 2652 Location: The Royal Palace Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Fri Jan 06, 2006 9:06 pm    Post subject: We need to find out for certain who's behind this attack. I suggest: 1) sending a spy into the City of OF, to find out whether they're really behind this and what their nefarious plans are 2) have one of the Council Members act as a double-agent, pretending to sell out the Council in order to find out who's behind this 3) setting a trap for one of the miscreants (such as whoever's dumping the Idearium) and persuading him to talk via methods that involve large teeth and great heights Back to top Author Muaddib Comrade Joined: 31 Dec 2004 Posts: 1765 Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sat Jan 07, 2006 2:08 am    Post subject: *raps knucles on table* and the business about the brothels needs looking into. Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sat Jan 07, 2006 5:18 pm    Post subject: Muaddib wrote: *raps knucles on table* and the business about the brothels needs looking into. I believe Smee is doing ongoing, indepth research into those! There is some good stuff here! I am running a bit slow these days, until I get my bl**dy internet connection installed it is difficult for me to refer to the forums and comments! Grr. _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Tue Jan 10, 2006 1:55 am    Post subject: Chapter 3 part a - A cunning plan... Chapter 3 part a – A cunning plan… “Well,” Smee stood up, subtly pocketing the hammer as he did so. “I for one am not about to let some… some common citizen go about wearing the badge of Moderatordom! I will search the city! I will leave no stone unturned! No house unsearched! No person un-frisked! Who’s with me? Who shall aid me in this task?” He raised his hand in a dramatic pose and looked around. No one was paying attention. Fauna, Shanty and Tramp were busy drawing on Phangs’ face with a variety of markers, Key and Stoat were involved in a tug of war over Stoat’s mug of Sherry, Chinaren, Saxon and Sparta were having a heated argument about the Arena competition, Ingro was looking under the table for his hammer and the others were either eating, drinking or holding low conversations with each other. “AHEM!” said Smee in a loud voice, making Key jump and lose his hold on the mug. Stoat, pulling with all her might fell over backwards in her chair pouring the remains of the sherry all over herself in the process. “I SAID” said Smee, having finally managed to get most of the council’s attention, “I will lead the search for this evil Moderator machine. Who wants to join me?” Key spoke before anyone else could get a word in. “Wait wait! We can’t just all go off and do our own thing! We need a poll! A vote! Otherwise things will descend into anarchy!” Powers That Be glanced at the snoring Phang under the table. Her face was now a variety of colors, and a large dose of some sort of slime had been placed in either hand. “Yes, we wouldn’t want anarchy would we?” he said dryly. Key ignored him and thumped the desk with his fist, having run out of hammers and mugs. “Smee has volunteered to head the Moderator machine task force,” he said. “Now, who should be assigned to investigate this cunning plot?” Idea Master held up his hand. “I shall travel to OF, to investigate things there.” He said. “Very good then. That’s more like it. I think we should get Phang, once she wakes up, sniffing around the City for the culprits here.” “What about these unlicensed brothels in my area?” asked Muaddib. “Indeed indeed.” Said Key holding up his hands to stem the flood of volunteers for that task. “We have the Moles, the Idearium mines, the assassin, as well. Any volunteers?” >>>>>>>>>>>>> Just chapter 3 part A here. As Key said: We have Smee leading the Mod machine team, IM heading of to OF to look there, and Phang will check out the city once she has finished scrubbing her face. That leaves the Idea mines, the Assassin, the Moles and the Brothels, plus anything else you nefarious lot can think of. Volunteers please, so I can get on with chapter 3, part B. If any other City regulars have a preference as well, please speak up, this things gonna spread! <<<<<<<<<<<<<<< _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author Shady Stoat Elder Joined: 02 Oct 2005 Posts: 2950 Location: England Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Tue Jan 10, 2006 2:03 am    Post subject: *thinks...* OK, CHinaren is going to want to get his hands on some raw Idearium, so he's going to volunteer to... ahem... investigate the mines Some clever swine is going to suggest that you set a Stoat to catch a Mole... so I guess I'm dragged off in that direction with my assisting party of victi... I mean, volunteers. As for volunteers to investigate the brothels, it won't so much be a case of volunteering as stampeding! All those who can't be grabbed fast enough will be out of the Mayor's Chambers and on their way to the Muaddib district faster than you can say "Next, please!" Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Tue Jan 10, 2006 2:06 am    Post subject: Excellent Stoat. I had three ideas alone from your post*! You are down for the sewers then! Me for the mines eh? Mmm, not a bad idea... BTW: I am thinking of getting a map of the city started, based on this story and others dotted around. *Though I have now forgotten one of them. _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author Muaddib Comrade Joined: 31 Dec 2004 Posts: 1765 Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Tue Jan 10, 2006 2:36 am    Post subject: Personally I want to look after my interests....but since so many people will be eager to help me out, I'll leave it to them and volunteer for the Idea mines. Back to top Author Smee Revered IFian Joined: 16 Oct 2004 Posts: 5215 Location: UK Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Tue Jan 10, 2006 2:45 am    Post subject: I do like Stoat's idea - if Stoats can flush out a rabbit then a mole or dozen shouldn't be a problem. I think Chinaren's only motivation to find out what is causing the waste Idearium is to get chance to capture any of the mutants for cheap labour in his various dungeons and fight pits. I doubt he'll be that inclined to stop such a profitable supply of extras. Best send him to the Muaddib district where I...ahem, my spies, have noticed him wandering around carrying a large bag with $ on it. Clearly he knows his way around and would quickly sort out any problems. I think Random is the best choice for sending down the mines. Any attempt to mutate him will have no effect on a Master of all that is not likely. Powers (I believe) has unique gifts in understanding people who assume other identities. Send him after the shape-shifting assasin. That's all I have right now. Happy Writing. _________________ The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the Devil's own Satanic Herd! Back to top Author Muaddib Comrade Joined: 31 Dec 2004 Posts: 1765 Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Tue Jan 10, 2006 3:11 am    Post subject: I'll accompany Random to the mines. I would also like a frontman in my district, who reports to me directly rather than through the Council. Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Tue Jan 10, 2006 3:18 am    Post subject: Quote: Muaddib district where I...ahem, my spies, have noticed him wandering around carrying a large bag with $ on it. LOL! I believe this character must have been the shapeshifter!! _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author Solomon Birch Honored Citizen Joined: 22 Nov 2005 Posts: 1562 Location: England..... but Japan beckons..... Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Tue Jan 10, 2006 1:54 pm    Post subject: HA HA HA!!!! Great story Mr. Chinaren. I hope I can feature soon, although im way off the City Council Member status..... Anyway, I agree with Stoat; sending you down the mines and her down the sewers is a great idea. And everyone else to the brothels..... Less people to see me while I go about my buisness.... _________________ "Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9 Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3 The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3 One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3 Green Eyes - Chapter 5 Back to top Author Idea master Magus Extraordinaire Joined: 10 May 2004 Posts: 1787 Location: Sneaking Idearium into your beverages. Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Tue Jan 10, 2006 7:06 pm    Post subject: I personally voulenteer to check out my own Idea Mines. I am, after all, the Idea Master, am I not? I will find what is behind all this cutting corners*! And while I'm at it, I'll order up some raw Idearium in the form of a dispell illusion/show true form spell. That way, I can find out where our shape-shifter assassin is hiding. And afterwards a nice bout of 'Investigation' in Muaddib's corner of the city would not go amiss. *And if I ordered a change of policy, I guess I'll have to change it again. If it was someone else, then they'll learn what happened to the original Sorrow that we are now on Sorrow_A! _________________ ...So I've been summoned back from beyond the veil. ...No plans yet. Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Tue Jan 10, 2006 7:12 pm    Post subject: Quote: nice bout of 'Investigation' in Muaddib's corner of the city would not go amiss. LOL! You are going to be busy IM! _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author Idea master Magus Extraordinaire Joined: 10 May 2004 Posts: 1787 Location: Sneaking Idearium into your beverages. Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Wed Jan 11, 2006 9:18 am    Post subject: If I'm not seemingly busy, be very, very frightened. This way, I can kill about three birds with three stones released one after the other. I'll team up with Random* and investigate my own mines. *And by 'team up with Random,' I mean 'Arrange to have him backstabbed at a later date if he gets too nosey for his own continued breathing.' _________________ ...So I've been summoned back from beyond the veil. ...No plans yet. Back to top Author ethereal_fauna Perpetually Distracted Joined: 16 Feb 2005 Posts: 2567 Location: USA Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Wed Jan 11, 2006 10:19 am    Post subject: Not that I'm not a good and upstanding citizen, because I am concerned about these horrible threats to our fair city... but now that I'm finished drawing moustaches on Phang, I feel I should sacrifice and make a documentary. A social endeavor, where I spend months living amongst the primitive Banana People and observe and record their mysterious ways. With the knowledge I gain, we may be able to find a solution to their ever-spreading encroach on civilization, and rid IF of the unsightly corner shops cropping up everywhere. _________________ The maker of a sentence launches out into the infinite and builds a road into Chaos and old Night, and is followed by those who hear him with something of wild, creative delight. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson Back to top Author Idea master Magus Extraordinaire Joined: 10 May 2004 Posts: 1787 Location: Sneaking Idearium into your beverages. Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sat Jan 14, 2006 5:28 pm    Post subject: Here's an idea from my own storygame: Stupidium! Yes, Stupidium. It completly nullifies Idearium. It does, however, have a few side effects, such as making people into idiots. Lately I've been keeping the very rare Stupidium locked up in my masion within a safe desgined to hold it. If need be, we can use the Stupidium to counteract the Idearium waste within our water, though we must be very careful not to come into close proximity of it and to not ingest it. Also, we'll have to remove it fairly quickly, otherwise all of the city will become one huge Stupidium blob. Stupidum nullifies and absorbs Idearium, so there are complications...But the basic idea is good. _________________ ...So I've been summoned back from beyond the veil. ...No plans yet. Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sat Jan 14, 2006 6:21 pm    Post subject: I already made a note of that from your latest chapter. Good Idea IM, but I guess that is your forte! _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Fri Jan 20, 2006 2:05 am    Post subject: Chapter 3 part b &#8211; Yet more cunning Chapter 3 part b – Yet more cunning… “Well, you know the old adage, ‘Set a Stoat to catch a Mole’” said Sparta, with an evil smile on his face. “Of course of course!” said Key beaming. “Stoat shall lead the team into the sewers then! It is decided!” “Who decided what now?” asked Stoat clambering back upright. Sherry had drenched her fur, and the cream cake had landed on her head, making her look like she was wearing a particularly ill-advised hat. “Moving on then,” said Key quickly, before Stoat say anything else, “Who’s for the Mines?” Chinaren stuck a hand up. “I think I will head on down there to check them out.” Ingro narrowed his eyes and looked at Chinaren. “This sudden spurt of enthusiasm wouldn’t have anything to do with the valuable piles of raw Idearium down there would it?” Chinaren raised his eyebrows in a look of innocence. “Who me? Perish the thought.” He said. “I think I will tag along with Chinaren” said Random. “I have heard a lot about the mines, and I would like to check them out myself. It should suit my personality” She winked and suddenly had three eyes. “Well, if they are going so am I!” stated IM. “I have my operation there, and if someone has infiltrated it then I want to know!” “Fair enough then, Chinaren will lead the squad into the mines.” Key made a note on a pad he had just fished out of his pocket. “Very brave of you I must say, I wouldn’t want to face all those mutated creatures down there myself.” “Whaa…?” said Chinaren, suddenly not looking so happy. “Right then, things are moving along very nicely,” continued Key smoothly. “That just leaves the assassin and the brothels.” “What will you be doing whilst all this is going on?” asked the Cow of Doom, taking a deep swig of healthy milk, which he had laced liberally with vodka. “Never fear Cow,” said Key wagging a chubby finger. “I shall not be slacking, off, oh no! I shall co-ordinate our efforts from my tower. Dean lives in the attic, and he can provide technical support.” “I say that Saxon should go after the assassin” said Tramp in a Storm, mainly to get someone else on that one before she was nominated for it. “why shud I go atfer theasssissain?” said Saxon. Ravenwing sighed. “It has to be someone, and you aren’t very busy these days. I better come along with you as translator I suppose.” She puffed and sat back in her seat. “Very well!” Key said busy writing, his tongue sticking out of the corner of his mouth as he concentrated on the task. “Well, I for one am concerned about the rise of the Banana people” said Fauna, still busy arranging Phang’s cushions into a little house on her chair. “Do you know since this meeting began they have opened a national chain of shops and become a republic?” “Indeed. Well, I have a plan for that one.” Said Chinaren, his brow darkening when the Banana shop was mentioned. “Still, I think I will do a little more investigating. You can never tell what they are up to.” Said Fauna. Key was busy scribbling away in his book. “Does banana have one or two ‘E’s?” he asked. Stoat leant over to see what he had written, dripping sherry onto the table as she did so. “Well, I am not letting my little Idea Master go running off to those nasty wasty mines without me!” said Tramp, moving her seat up closer to IMs. Key paused a moment as he struggled with a particularly difficult word. “No no no, nasty is spelt with two ‘Y’s” said Stoat, she reached for the pad. “Here, let me do that for you!” “Thank-you Stoat,” said Key breathing a sigh of relief. “Well, the rest of you can split up between the broth… er, the business ladies district or the other teams, as you see fit.” He leaned forward, causing the table legs to bend. “Remember, these tasks are of the utmost importance! Until this mystery is solved the whole city is on a knife edge! No one is safe!” “Absolutely!” said Shanty. “So then, who’s with me for another drink!” “Me!” “I’m in!” “A double for me!” “Here, let me have a go with that pen!” “Pass some of that Old Stoat grog will you?” “Come on, I said a double!” The meeting wrapped up, and the Council members swung into action swiftly, leaping to their assigned tasks barely three days later. When Key opened his book he found pictures of little Stoats all over the pages, and his pencil was chewed through. >>>>>>>>>> Okay then! The council meeting is over! Who do you wish to follow first? Vote! <<<<<<<<<< _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author Shady Stoat Elder Joined: 02 Oct 2005 Posts: 2950 Location: England Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Fri Jan 20, 2006 2:15 am    Post subject: Good one Chinakins! I say let's go down the Idearium mines first. I want to see the mutants! (not personally, of course. I've got enough to do, seeing to the giant moles!) Besides, I want to see Chinaren having to choose between the Idearium and his life... I really don't know which way that would go! Back to top Author ethereal_fauna Perpetually Distracted Joined: 16 Feb 2005 Posts: 2567 Location: USA Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Fri Jan 20, 2006 3:18 am    Post subject: I went with the sewer moles. Everything should get more interesting once Stoat floods the city via the backed-up toilet route. _________________ The maker of a sentence launches out into the infinite and builds a road into Chaos and old Night, and is followed by those who hear him with something of wild, creative delight. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson Back to top Author Smee Revered IFian Joined: 16 Oct 2004 Posts: 5215 Location: UK Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Fri Jan 20, 2006 3:50 am    Post subject: Hmmmmm, Good chapter. Quick point : Random (if such an unusual creature can be said to have a gender) is a guy. I am torn between the two options already suggested, and I'm sure all the others will be just as fun - plus we'll get to see them all eventually. Lets get the mutants sorted first - To the Mines. Happy Writing. _________________ The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the Devil's own Satanic Herd! Back to top Author LordoftheNight Revered IFian Joined: 11 Aug 2005 Posts: 5276 Location: Hell Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Fri Jan 20, 2006 1:43 pm    Post subject: go for the assassin - i like assassins _________________ Punishment leads to Fear. Fear leads to Obedience. Obedience leads to Freedom. Therefore, Punishment leads to Freedom. Ave Dominus Nox A Fronte Praecipitium a Tergo Lupi Blood Bowl Scraping the Barrel A Tale of Four Swords Passion Back to top Author Solomon Birch Honored Citizen Joined: 22 Nov 2005 Posts: 1562 Location: England..... but Japan beckons..... Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sat Jan 21, 2006 4:41 am    Post subject: Great chapter Chin! I voted to go after the assassin. I'm curious to see what that devios fella' is up to. And cos' he's all assassin-y n' stuff.... _________________ "Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9 Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3 The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3 One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3 Green Eyes - Chapter 5 Back to top Author LordoftheNight Revered IFian Joined: 11 Aug 2005 Posts: 5276 Location: Hell Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sat Jan 21, 2006 4:52 am    Post subject: just like Soliyone Birch go TOE _________________ Punishment leads to Fear. Fear leads to Obedience. Obedience leads to Freedom. Therefore, Punishment leads to Freedom. Ave Dominus Nox A Fronte Praecipitium a Tergo Lupi Blood Bowl Scraping the Barrel A Tale of Four Swords Passion Back to top Author Ravenwing Honorable IFian Joined: 18 May 2004 Posts: 3750 Location: Virginia Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sat Jan 21, 2006 7:17 am    Post subject: I would rather go throught the sewers. I have to see these sewer rats. I heard they are made of blue slime and guck, an interesting combination. Maybe I can capture one? Oh and btw. The reference to the Rave/Wing twins is a play on my name. If I happened to post twice in one topic, it was said that the twins had appeared. It was like I was two people in one. They haven't appeared lately though. _________________ Stories New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice. Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM) Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words) Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall. -Confucius Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sat Jan 21, 2006 3:48 pm    Post subject: Ravenwing wrote: I would rather go throught the sewers. Oh and btw. The reference to the Rave/Wing twins is a play on my name. If I happened to post twice in one topic, it was said that the twins had appeared. It was like I was two people in one. They haven't appeared lately though. Ah. Then you can maybe do both. _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author Ravenwing Honorable IFian Joined: 18 May 2004 Posts: 3750 Location: Virginia Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sat Jan 21, 2006 9:38 pm    Post subject: I could split in this story that would be cool. And then everyone would be confused as to which one of us is present. LOL. _________________ Stories New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice. Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM) Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words) Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall. -Confucius Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Fri Jan 27, 2006 6:01 am    Post subject: OKay then, the Idea Mines just took it. Writing now. Smee, if you see this could you delete the poll please? (I know, lazy) _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author Ravenwing Honorable IFian Joined: 18 May 2004 Posts: 3750 Location: Virginia Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Fri Jan 27, 2006 6:39 am    Post subject: So how long do we have to wait for the next chapter, China? I am sitting on the edge of my seat wondering what will happen in the mines. It's not a good idea to keep your readers waiting/ _________________ Stories New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice. Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM) Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words) Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall. -Confucius Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Fri Jan 27, 2006 6:43 am    Post subject: Hehe. Writing now, hopefully tonight (which is now here), but maybe tomorrow morning. Chinaren, Muaddib, IM, Storm and Random are just approaching them now!! _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Fri Jan 27, 2006 7:35 am    Post subject: Chapter 4&#8211; Trouble in t&#8217; pit. Chapter 4– Trouble in t’ pit. Chinaren slowly walked down the street. He was talking on his new Mobile Orb Communications Handheld Accessory* as he went. “No no no, I want the good guards, send the usual ones to Key’s mansion for security duty. My furry orange ass is on the line here!” He paused as if listening for something and saw Random walking up. Random waved a hand, of which he had three of for the moment and waited for Chinaren to finish his call. “Yes, this is important” continued Chinaren waggling his eyebrows at Random “and tell ‘P’ to get the special equipment ready as well, we will be along soon.” Another pause. Chinaren rolled his eyes as he listened. “yes yes, okay, and get the…mmm. Okay good. See you soon.” He made a pass over the orb and de-activated it. “Hello Random, how’s things?” “Ah, not so bad. So, we going to get a few toys to help us eh?” “S’right, let’s go, the others are waiting for us.” So saying the two walked down main street and then turned off towards Muaddib’s district. The roads became narrow and twisty and the buildings loomed up between narrow streets filled with debris. Dubious characters wandered around, and at least one body could be seen lying in the gutter. Random looked a little nervous. “Is this safe?” “What, oh yes, don’t worry. People know me here.” A shout from above made Random look up. “Oy Chinaren you bustard! You took all my money!” Chinaren ignored it, not even looking up, though he stepped neatly aside to avoid a rotten tomato which landed with a splat on the street. Random jumped and increased his pace. Finally they turned onto Muaddib street, and saw Muaddib, IM and Storm waiting by an alleyway. Muaddib was talking to a young lady dressed in skimpy clothes, despite the cold weather. Random thought he saw some money change hands before the girl turned and walked off. Muaddib hastily pocketed the cash and turned to face the two with an innocent look on his face. “Comrades!” He said. “Are we ready to strike a blow for the people of the City?” “I am ready to strike a blow at people messing with my Idearium!” said IM. “Where to China?” “First, we take a few precautionary measures. Follow me.” He walked into the narrow alleyway. The others looked at each other with a puzzled expression and followed uncertainly. A little way into the gloomy alley was a large can, holding trash. Chinaren took the top off and climbed in. “What are you doing?” asked Tramp. “Just follow me.” Said China and suddenly disappeared from view. The others looked around. “After you Muaddib” Said IM. Muaddib looked doubtful, but climbed in as Chinaren had done. He too vanished a moment later with a brief shout. One by one the others followed. * They found themselves in a dimly lit room. Chinaren was talking to an old man in a white coat. He took a pack from the man and turned to the others, who were looking around. “Right then. Here is an exploration pack. Inside you will find some supplies and other equipment. And this…” he produced a dark stick, “is the Mogrum 2000, the most powerful handwand in the world.” “Cool!” said IM. “Do we all get one of those?” “Er, no.” Chinaren produced another, smaller stick of silver. “But you do get a Glip 5.2 rapid fire wand. Still a damn good model, as long as you don’t let them overheat of course.” He handed them out, along with the backpacks. “Of course, I am sure we won’t need any, I am taking a small squad of guards with us too.” He gestured to one side where 5 men wearing red sweaters, black pants and ankle length black boots were standing waiting. They all sported a small black wand holster. “Top Security men all” said Chinaren. “Okay. Is that it then, shall we go?” said Tramp, putting her Glip in a pocket. “Well, just one more thing.” Chinaren held out a small square device and proceeded to touch everyone on the head with it. Once done he handed it to the man in white. “What was that?” asked Muaddib, rubbing his head. “Just a precaution. That was the Cloninator 5000x. Just in case anyone has an, er, accident, we can restore them to this point in time. A useful device oh yes.” He looked around. “Right then. Shall we go?” The others nodded and followed him to the exit… * The group stood outside a large gate. A sign on it read: “Idea Master LTD. Idearium Mines. Unauthorized access prohibited. Trespassers will stay here and dig. Guard beasts patrolling.” “Friendly.” Said Muaddib. “Another capitalist factory to oppress the downtrodden workers.” “Not that bloody downtrodden,” IM said, fishing out a key and unlocking the gate, “not with how much I have to pay them.” “Seems very quiet here,” said Random looking around. “Where is everyone?” “Oh, this mine is currently not being worked. There is a bit of an Idearium glut on the market at the moment, so I closed this until stocks fall and prices rise.” “So no-one is here?” said Random. “Nope, completely deserted.” Said IM swinging the gate open. “Why?” “Only I thought I saw something move, over there.” Random pointed to the black maw of the mine entrance. “Probably something blowing in the wind.” Said IM. “Come on.” They all followed, though Random licked a finger and held it up for a moment. “Wind?” he muttered, and then hurried forward to catch the others. IM strode to a small hut by the mine entrance and went inside a moment. He came out with helmets with lights on the top. “Here you go.” He handed them out. “Isn’t the mine lit inside?” asked Storm, suddenly sounding nervous as she eyed the dark cave they were walking towards. “Oh no. Idearium is very unstable. Exposure to too much light would affect it in adverse ways.” IM grinned and put an arm around her. “Don’t worry, we will be fine. I only lose 5 or 6 workers a month these days.” They entered the tunnel. Chinaren sent two of his Security men ahead to scout the way. The mine tunnel was dark and quiet. Water could be heard dripping from the roof. Storm shivered. After a brief pause they moved on, lights shining. Picks and shovels lay on the ground, and a pair of rails ran down into the throat of the mine, disappearing into the dark. “The lift to the main shaft is straight ahead” said IM in a whisper, though his voice echoed around the cave. The group walked on. Sure enough a rickety looking metal cage hung over a pit. Chinaren peered down. He couldn’t see the bottom. “How deep is it?” Im shrugged. “I can’t remember actually. Deep though. Very deep.” He opened the cage door and they all squeezed in. Chinaren addressed one of his security guards before entering. “Stay here and watch the controls.” The guard saluted. Once they were all in Chinaren nodded and the guard pressed a button. There was a clank of metal and the cage jerked and started to move. After several minutes of silent descent in the dark Random jumped. “Did you hear that?” “What?” IM whispered. “I thought I heard something from up there!” Random pointed back up to the small patch of light, barely visible above them. They all strained their ears and so everyone heard it this time. A noise. It sounded like an owl was on fire and complaining about it. It echoed down the shaft. The occupants of the cage looked at each other worriedly. Then the lift shuddered. “Ahhhh!” IM screamed and held onto Tramp, closing his eyes. “We are all going to die!!” he blubbered. “Nonsense!” said Tramp, I am sure it is just a cat, or something. “We will be fine.” She patted IM’s head. “There there, there there, don’t cry.” The others nodded and smiled just as something shrieked. As one they looked up. A thing blocked the light for a second. It was something falling down the shaft, bumping against the walls as it dropped. As if in slow motion it fell, until it smashed into the roof of the cage. IM screamed. It was the security guard. His smashed body staring blankly through the grill at them from empty eye sockets. The group clutched at each other, unable to take their eyes off the body and unable to remove it from the top of the lift. Chinaren turned to Random. “That’s not good.” He said. Random shook his head and tried to peer down through the cage floor. “Can anyone see how far we have to go?” he asked. They looked down, all except the sobbing IM, who had his eyes closed and was calling for mummy. Something from high above them screeched in triumph, and the cage shook. “It’s trying to shake us loose** I think!” said Muaddib. “I think I can see something below us!” said Random as the cage hit the wall with a bang. “Hey! Here’s the emergency stop switch!” said Chinaren. “Not that it does us much good of course.” Random had turned pale. “er, people. That thing.” “Yes?” said Tramp, trying to dislodge IM. “I think it is a something. I can’t see too well.” “Probably just a janitor” said Chinaren just as an animal roar resounded up the shaft. “Or not.” “We are trapped!” shrieked IM. “I knew I should have never come down here, I should have checked out the brothels! I am going to die a virgin!!” Tramp smacked him around the head. “You don’t even know what a virgin is!” she shouted. “Some sort of music store isn’t it?” said Chinaren. “Don’t be stupid, it’s a kind of deep sea fish” said Muaddib, falling back upon the Council’s standard tactic in a crisis, which was to argue amongst themselves. ”People people!” cried Random. “We are heading down to some unknown creature whilst stuck in a cage with a dead body over us! We need to do something!” “Do so know.” Snuffled IM. “Random’s right” said Chinaren, “but what??” *Commonly shortened to Mo.O.C.H, or mooch. **Note the correct spelling. >>>>>>>>>>>> EEK! The council need your help people! What can they do? <<<<<<<<<<<< _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author ethereal_fauna Perpetually Distracted Joined: 16 Feb 2005 Posts: 2567 Location: USA Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Fri Jan 27, 2006 8:19 am    Post subject: Quote: I am going to die a virgin!! Hilarious! Throw IM down there and see if he loses his virginity. _________________ The maker of a sentence launches out into the infinite and builds a road into Chaos and old Night, and is followed by those who hear him with something of wild, creative delight. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson Back to top Author LordoftheNight Revered IFian Joined: 11 Aug 2005 Posts: 5276 Location: Hell Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Fri Jan 27, 2006 9:55 am    Post subject: with the creature? *stops the thoughts that flit rapidly through his mind* _________________ Punishment leads to Fear. Fear leads to Obedience. Obedience leads to Freedom. Therefore, Punishment leads to Freedom. Ave Dominus Nox A Fronte Praecipitium a Tergo Lupi Blood Bowl Scraping the Barrel A Tale of Four Swords Passion Back to top Author Shady Stoat Elder Joined: 02 Oct 2005 Posts: 2950 Location: England Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Fri Jan 27, 2006 2:25 pm    Post subject: Nice chapter. Liked the wands especially Hmm... don't seem to be too good on ideas today. Still, I'll have a try. We can stop the cage? Is there any way anybody can climb onto it and throw the dead guard's body down to the creature. It might act as a decoy long enough for us to get past it - provided that we can get the cage started on its descent again once we've stopped it. That's all I got for now. I'll be back if I think of anything more. Back to top Author Ravenwing Honorable IFian Joined: 18 May 2004 Posts: 3750 Location: Virginia Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Fri Jan 27, 2006 6:55 pm    Post subject: Absolute hilarity, china. Love it. What would happen if we sent the dead body falling down toward the beast below? Could we glean anything from that? Maybe we should just let the cart fly down and hit the ground. _________________ Stories New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice. Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM) Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words) Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall. -Confucius Back to top Author Solomon Birch Honored Citizen Joined: 22 Nov 2005 Posts: 1562 Location: England..... but Japan beckons..... Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sat Jan 28, 2006 2:36 am    Post subject: Ha ha ha! Great chapter Chinaren! They've all got those wands havn't they? Someone (no idea who) should put on a brave face and decide to get the others to come with him or her and face the monster! And then you can all horribly die! Muwahahahahaha! _________________ "Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9 Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3 The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3 One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3 Green Eyes - Chapter 5 Back to top Author Smee Revered IFian Joined: 16 Oct 2004 Posts: 5215 Location: UK Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sat Jan 28, 2006 3:56 am    Post subject: Brilliant chapter, Sol is right, get out the fancy gadgets and go investigate - it's what you are there for. Just sending IM alone is mean. Happy Writing _________________ The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the Devil's own Satanic Herd! Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sat Jan 28, 2006 4:02 am    Post subject: Quote: Just sending IM alone is mean. But it could be amusing. Hehe. _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author Muaddib Comrade Joined: 31 Dec 2004 Posts: 1765 Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sat Jan 28, 2006 7:56 am    Post subject: Virgin-Deep sea fish? Yeah definitely me:) Nice chapter, Bill Gates's Republic of China. Back to top Author Shady Stoat Elder Joined: 02 Oct 2005 Posts: 2950 Location: England Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sat Jan 28, 2006 11:39 am    Post subject: Smee wrote: Just sending IM alone is mean. Not at all! I think it's the best tactic. You gain an extra weapon if you throw IM down for the monster. You get a berserk Trampie, for a start! You want to see some kick-ass girlie wand action? Then throw IM down the shaft and just watch the protectoress fly after him! Back to top Author CunningFox Citizen Joined: 27 Oct 2005 Posts: 210 Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2006 7:00 pm    Post subject: hahaha! throw someone out! i like it chin! _________________ Just browsing, thank-you. Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Mon Jan 30, 2006 4:47 am    Post subject: OKay then, poll up. I thought I had done this already, I was just preparing to start the next chapter. Oh well. _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author Smee Revered IFian Joined: 16 Oct 2004 Posts: 5215 Location: UK Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Mon Jan 30, 2006 4:50 am    Post subject: I don't want to throw just anyone down there - we've already lost one unknown bodyguard (and suspect we'll lose the rest at some point) no point wasting any more of them just yet. I have been entirely convinced that throwing down IM is the way to go. Let Tramp do the work for us. _________________ The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the Devil's own Satanic Herd! Back to top Author Shady Stoat Elder Joined: 02 Oct 2005 Posts: 2950 Location: England Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Mon Jan 30, 2006 4:55 am    Post subject: Given that I suggested that idea, I need hardly add that I totally agree with Smee Back to top Author Idea master Magus Extraordinaire Joined: 10 May 2004 Posts: 1787 Location: Sneaking Idearium into your beverages. Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Mon Jan 30, 2006 5:04 am    Post subject: Oh me oh my. I've been too stunned to reply. Firstly, I want to point out that all the bodyguards are 'red suits' anyways. This termanology is from Star Trek, where anybody in red died before the end of the show. Sometimes it was counted on by the cast. ("Hey Joey, I bet YOU'RE the one that dies on the surface of the strange planet!") Secondly, I would not react in such a manner to dead bodies flying down the shaft... It would probably be worse. So I suggest that we send out a bodyguard whilst I tap into the Idearium within the walls of the shaft. One of them should take care of our little problem. _________________ ...So I've been summoned back from beyond the veil. ...No plans yet. Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Mon Jan 30, 2006 5:07 am    Post subject: Quote: This termanology is from Star Trek, where anybody in red died before the end of the show. Yes indeed. They are not dressed like that by accident oh no! _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author LordoftheNight Revered IFian Joined: 11 Aug 2005 Posts: 5276 Location: Hell Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Mon Jan 30, 2006 5:56 am    Post subject: just throw someone down sorrow if he's availible, his brother if he's not _________________ Punishment leads to Fear. Fear leads to Obedience. Obedience leads to Freedom. Therefore, Punishment leads to Freedom. Ave Dominus Nox A Fronte Praecipitium a Tergo Lupi Blood Bowl Scraping the Barrel A Tale of Four Swords Passion Back to top Author Smee Revered IFian Joined: 16 Oct 2004 Posts: 5215 Location: UK Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Mon Jan 30, 2006 6:02 am    Post subject: Quote: Firstly, I want to point out that all the bodyguards are 'red suits' anyways D'uh. Random did a similar thing in Pirates too - always made me smile - as it does if I don't recognise someone on an 'away team'. _________________ The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the Devil's own Satanic Herd! Back to top Author Solomon Birch Honored Citizen Joined: 22 Nov 2005 Posts: 1562 Location: England..... but Japan beckons..... Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Mon Jan 30, 2006 9:22 am    Post subject: Might as well try and get the body to fall down before you chuck someone alive down there. When that don't work (which, I suspect, it wont) then you can throw someone alive down. _________________ "Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9 Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3 The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3 One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3 Green Eyes - Chapter 5 Back to top Author Ravenwing Honorable IFian Joined: 18 May 2004 Posts: 3750 Location: Virginia Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Mon Jan 30, 2006 5:59 pm    Post subject: I tell you, use the dead body as a test for what is down there. If you hear the crunching of bones, you know you have a man-eating something. _________________ Stories New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice. Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM) Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words) Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall. -Confucius Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Mon Jan 30, 2006 7:56 pm    Post subject: Chapter 5 - Shafted. Chapter 5 - Shafted. Chinaren stabbed the stop button and the cage jerked to a swinging halt with a clang. “Best stop until we think of something” he explained. “I say we throw IM down there and he can shout up what he can see. If he lives.” Said Random. “Mummy!!!” wailed IM. There was a small sound. Muaddib sniffed. “IM! What have you done?!” Tramp held her nose. “Euu! IM! That was not called for!” IM sniffled and rubbed his nose. “It’s Random’s fault, saying he was going to throw me down. Has anyone got a new pair of pants?” Chinaren held his hand up. “Look, let’s climb up and try and throw this poor dead chap down there. Maybe it will distract them or something.” “Sounds good to me” said Tramp, fishing around in IM’s backpack. “Good job I packed a spare pair of pants, eh IM? I know how excited you can get.” Chinaren motioned to one of the security guards and the man nodded, opened the cage door and squeezed out, climbing carefully up onto the roof. “Hey, his wand is gone” he reported as he pulled at the body. “That’s not good” said Random. They all watched as the guard heaved and shoved and finally managed to push the unfortunate guard down the shaft, where it landed with a thud. Everyone peered down, eyes squinting in the gloom. For a minute nothing happened then something grabbed one of the body’s legs and pulled it out of sight. “Well, that was helpful” said Muaddib. “We have just given them an entrée.” “Perhaps it is time for IM to go and make a report” Random said. “Why me???” said IM as he awkwardly hid behind a spare robe, trying to change his pants. Tramp, holding the robe up to cover IM’s modesty, peered over and down and let out a little laugh. “Hey!” said IM. “Throw the old pants at them!” said Muaddib. “That should make them think!” “Look! Something is moving!” Chinaren pointed down. Indeed, something had just lurched into view at the bottom of the shaft. Random squinted, then grew and extra pair of eyes to see better. “It’s the dead security guard. He looks a little…unwell.” “Of course he looks bloody unwell, he’s bloody dead!” shouted Muaddib, who was staring to lose it a little. “He’s climbing up!” squeaked IM and threw his soiled undergarments at the un-dead guard. They landed on the eyeless face causing the thing to flail about before ripping them off and throwing them to the ground. “Ug!” Storm made a face. “Shoot it!” shouted Random and everyone drew their wands and fired through the grill. Explosions echoed around the mine as energy bolts hammered around and into the luckless guard. His head disintegrated under the onslaught and he fell back down the shaft to lie still once again. “Cool!” said IM, waving his wand about. “Hey! Careful where you point that thing!” said Muaddib. “Well, that didn’t work so well” said Random. “Tell you what…” he fiddled with the cage door. “Hey IM, give us a hand here will you?” IM stepped forward to help and Random gave him a push. “Aahhh!” “Random!!” shouted Tramp, and leapt out of the cage to climb down after IM, who had landed on his head, so luckily hadn’t hurt himself. “I’ll get you for that Random!” shouted IM, moaning and standing up. “What can you see?” shouted Chinaren down. IM looked out of the shaft and went pale. There was another small sound. “Oh no.” He said and stepped back. “Hold on IM! I am coming!” shouted Tramp, halfway down the shaft wall. IM screamed and raised his arms as a black shadowy mass reached in and dragged him out of view. “IM!!!” screamed Tramp and fired her wand. “Careful! You might hit him!” said Chinaren. Muaddib mumbled something under his breath. IM’s screams could still be heard, although they were getting fainter, as if he was being dragged off. “Get this thing going! Let’s get down there and help him!” shouted Random. Chinaren nodded and pressed the button. Nothing happened. He pressed it again and again. “It’s stuck.” Muaddib said a bad word. “Come on you lot, get down here!” said Tramp, nearly at the base. The others looked at each other. “May as well,” said Chinaren, “whatever they are they will probably be pre-occupied with IM for a while. Now’s as safe as anytime.” They all nodded and began to climb down carefully. The walls were full of handholds, though somewhat slimy, and it wasn’t hard to climb down if you were careful. Soon they were all standing at the bottom of the shaft. A wide tunnel led off into the dark. The dead security guard, sans head, lay on the floor next to IM’s briefs. The group shuffled out into the tunnel, wands out and pointing. There was no sign of IM or any other thing. Chinaren stooped down. “Look.” He pointed at the mud, where indistinct tracks could just be made out. They moved forwards slowly down the tunnel, following the tracks until they came to a junction. Some of the tracks went one way, some went the other. “Which way?” said Chinaren. Random shrugged. “Maybe we should split up.” “Oh that’s a great idea” said Muaddib sarcastically, “have you ever watched a horror movie? We split up and then spend the rest of the tale finding each others horribly mutilated dead bodies. No thank you! We should stay together.” “I don’t know” said Chinaren scratching his head. “It’s not as if we are going off one at a time.” “Look, let’s make a decision quickly shall we?” Said Tramp. “Goodness knows what those things are doing to IM!” They looked down both shafts, one led down steeply; the other seemed to keep level and disappeared around a gentle bend. “Well?” asked Tramp. “What shall we do?” >>>>>>> Okay people, poor IM has been dragged off. Shall the group split up or keep together? Suggestions and all the rest please!! <<<<<<<< _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author Idea master Magus Extraordinaire Joined: 10 May 2004 Posts: 1787 Location: Sneaking Idearium into your beverages. Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Mon Jan 30, 2006 8:46 pm    Post subject: Ack! I've been dragged off into the dark unknown! I humbly suggest that you try a tracer to see WHICH way I was dragged. After all, that is the more logical route, eh? Failing that, we rely on Storm's internal senses to point us the right way. But in either case, I do go with Muddy and say that we STICK TOGETHER AT ALL COSTS. Well...minus me of course. Or you could send the Red Suits down one path and go the other way. That way you're bound to find me without dying on the way. The Red Suits will all die (Meh, they were going to anyways!), leaving your path death- and horror-free! ... I think. _________________ ...So I've been summoned back from beyond the veil. ...No plans yet. Back to top Author ethereal_fauna Perpetually Distracted Joined: 16 Feb 2005 Posts: 2567 Location: USA Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Mon Jan 30, 2006 11:05 pm    Post subject: Follow the smell...I'm sure he would have soiled himself again by now. Or the path that looks like someone was dragged down it. Or send Muaddib around the gentle bend right quick for a peek _________________ The maker of a sentence launches out into the infinite and builds a road into Chaos and old Night, and is followed by those who hear him with something of wild, creative delight. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson Back to top Author Shady Stoat Elder Joined: 02 Oct 2005 Posts: 2950 Location: England Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Mon Jan 30, 2006 11:26 pm    Post subject: Excellent! Love the throwing of the soiled pants down at the red-suit! Only extra idea that I can think of is this. Can Random grow himself some extra-sensitive hearing equipment? We know he could grow extra ears, but if they were, say, predator ears (wolf or tiger) then he might be able to hear something that would help? I like Ethereal's suggestion though. I'll think some more... Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Tue Jan 31, 2006 12:12 am    Post subject: Mmm, not a bad idea. Maybe we can combine the two and get Random to grow a big nose. _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author Shady Stoat Elder Joined: 02 Oct 2005 Posts: 2950 Location: England Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Tue Jan 31, 2006 1:05 am    Post subject: chinaren wrote: Mmm, not a bad idea. Maybe we can combine the two and get Random to grow a big nose. Well... I dunno... does it come with the fake moustache and big cigar? Back to top Author LordoftheNight Revered IFian Joined: 11 Aug 2005 Posts: 5276 Location: Hell Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Tue Jan 31, 2006 2:57 am    Post subject: surely the best idea is to go the way IM didn't get dragged? _________________ Punishment leads to Fear. Fear leads to Obedience. Obedience leads to Freedom. Therefore, Punishment leads to Freedom. Ave Dominus Nox A Fronte Praecipitium a Tergo Lupi Blood Bowl Scraping the Barrel A Tale of Four Swords Passion Back to top Author Muaddib Comrade Joined: 31 Dec 2004 Posts: 1765 Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Tue Jan 31, 2006 7:51 am    Post subject: I agree with Lordy, a deep loss I'm sure but we'll find ways to get over it...many ways, if you get what I mean. I like my new sarcy personality by the way. Back to top Author Solomon Birch Honored Citizen Joined: 22 Nov 2005 Posts: 1562 Location: England..... but Japan beckons..... Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Tue Jan 31, 2006 8:45 am    Post subject: Ha ha ha! Great chapter once again. Pretty much all the ideas are taken (including IM.... .... anything? No? Fine.....) so I agree that we should do cast some magicky-ness or rely on Storm's tracking senses. Me want more! *holds breath* _________________ "Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9 Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3 The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3 One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3 Green Eyes - Chapter 5 Back to top Author tramp in a storm Honored Citizen Joined: 11 Apr 2005 Posts: 1585 Location: You never know...I could be in YOUR dust bin. Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Tue Jan 31, 2006 8:57 am    Post subject: Me? brave? IN A LIFT??? thats a new one. lol chinaren i like the story. I was meant to be catching up on the sleep i lost the night before but i was laughing. You cant leave IM to die! That wont be fair! I say we split the guards up and send the two different ways, wait where we are and listen. When we hear the guards being slaughtered we will follow that tunnel. Yes, the tunnel where the guards are being slaughtered, because thats where the monsters will be and thats where IM will be.......unless he escaped and wondered off like Harry Potter. _________________ Did you know: If you plug speakers into your ears, your thoughts will be heard out loud Back to top Author tramp in a storm Honored Citizen Joined: 11 Apr 2005 Posts: 1585 Location: You never know...I could be in YOUR dust bin. Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Tue Jan 31, 2006 9:01 am    Post subject: Solomon Birch wrote: Ha ha ha! Great chapter once again. Pretty much all the ideas are taken (including IM.... .... anything? No? Fine.....) so I agree that we should do cast some magicky-ness or rely on Storm's tracking senses. Me want more! *holds breath* Me? and directions? ok if you really want. but only because this isnt reall life otherwise we'd be doomed. And are you planning to hold your breath untill the next chapter is up? CHINAREN DONT PUT THE NEXT CHAPTER UP FOR ANOTHER HOUR AT LEAST!! well.....he should have at least fainted by then.....Did you hear that? who was that saying for SB to faint? lol only joking SB. _________________ Did you know: If you plug speakers into your ears, your thoughts will be heard out loud Back to top Author LordoftheNight Revered IFian Joined: 11 Aug 2005 Posts: 5276 Location: Hell Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Tue Jan 31, 2006 10:33 am    Post subject: oh no - SB never breathes - he holds his breath between every chapter everywhere _________________ Punishment leads to Fear. Fear leads to Obedience. Obedience leads to Freedom. Therefore, Punishment leads to Freedom. Ave Dominus Nox A Fronte Praecipitium a Tergo Lupi Blood Bowl Scraping the Barrel A Tale of Four Swords Passion Back to top Author tramp in a storm Honored Citizen Joined: 11 Apr 2005 Posts: 1585 Location: You never know...I could be in YOUR dust bin. Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Tue Jan 31, 2006 10:56 am    Post subject: lol. *walks up to SB* If you breathe you can have this coockie. But i'd breathe soon i think IM heard the word coockie. _________________ Did you know: If you plug speakers into your ears, your thoughts will be heard out loud Back to top Author Muaddib Comrade Joined: 31 Dec 2004 Posts: 1765 Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Tue Jan 31, 2006 9:54 pm    Post subject: I think some of us are too important to risk. The hoes of IF would revolt if omething happened to me, then you wouldn't have any way to satisfy your carnal pleasures, would you now? Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Wed Feb 01, 2006 3:49 am    Post subject: Don't worry Muaddib, everyone has been backed up. _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author Solomon Birch Honored Citizen Joined: 22 Nov 2005 Posts: 1562 Location: England..... but Japan beckons..... Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Wed Feb 01, 2006 8:42 am    Post subject: tramp in a storm wrote: lol. *walks up to SB* If you breathe you can have this coockie. But i'd breathe soon i think IM heard the word coockie. *Must......have.....cookie......must......hold.....breath...... .......nuts.........* COOKIE!!! :biggrin: *munch* Ahhhhh, much better.... *holds breath* _________________ "Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9 Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3 The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3 One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3 Green Eyes - Chapter 5 Back to top Author tramp in a storm Honored Citizen Joined: 11 Apr 2005 Posts: 1585 Location: You never know...I could be in YOUR dust bin. Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Wed Feb 01, 2006 12:23 pm    Post subject: but....but...you didnt braethe....did you? *looks at SB suspiciously* *give IM a coockie to make him feel better about falling out of a lift.* Or we could just look around and see if there is a visitor help line somewhere. Then we could ring up the monsters and ask them where to find IM. *stares not believing I just came up with something like that* I get more worried about my self every day.....and thats a good thing. far better than being one of them misserable squawkies trying to controll other peoples lives. _________________ Did you know: If you plug speakers into your ears, your thoughts will be heard out loud Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Fri Feb 03, 2006 9:20 pm    Post subject: Okay y'all, polls up... _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author Ravenwing Honorable IFian Joined: 18 May 2004 Posts: 3750 Location: Virginia Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sat Feb 04, 2006 5:51 am    Post subject: LOL. Sweet new chapter, china. Absolutely love it. Well, technically I would suggest sending Random by himself after IM, but that wouldn't work really. Split up I guess is the best idea to go with. So when do we find about everybody else? _________________ Stories New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice. Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM) Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words) Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall. -Confucius Back to top Author LordoftheNight Revered IFian Joined: 11 Aug 2005 Posts: 5276 Location: Hell Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sat Feb 04, 2006 12:16 pm    Post subject: voted - against the majority (fools) - to go which ever way IM didn't get dragged off _________________ Punishment leads to Fear. Fear leads to Obedience. Obedience leads to Freedom. Therefore, Punishment leads to Freedom. Ave Dominus Nox A Fronte Praecipitium a Tergo Lupi Blood Bowl Scraping the Barrel A Tale of Four Swords Passion Back to top Author tramp in a storm Honored Citizen Joined: 11 Apr 2005 Posts: 1585 Location: You never know...I could be in YOUR dust bin. Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sat Feb 04, 2006 12:20 pm    Post subject: But then how would we find IM if we didnt follow the way he went? _________________ Did you know: If you plug speakers into your ears, your thoughts will be heard out loud Back to top Author LordoftheNight Revered IFian Joined: 11 Aug 2005 Posts: 5276 Location: Hell Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sat Feb 04, 2006 12:22 pm    Post subject: well - we wouldn't that was kinda the point - we'll leave him to his fate and go the way the horrible beast didn't go afterall, for one to sacrifice himself for the good of the many is a noble cause _________________ Punishment leads to Fear. Fear leads to Obedience. Obedience leads to Freedom. Therefore, Punishment leads to Freedom. Ave Dominus Nox A Fronte Praecipitium a Tergo Lupi Blood Bowl Scraping the Barrel A Tale of Four Swords Passion Back to top Author tramp in a storm Honored Citizen Joined: 11 Apr 2005 Posts: 1585 Location: You never know...I could be in YOUR dust bin. Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sat Feb 04, 2006 12:34 pm    Post subject: Ah! But what if you think about it the other way? What if it is our fate to go and rescue him? or perrish trying..... I agree that its noble for one to risk themselfs for many others.....but One For All And All For One. And its also noble for many to risk themselfs for one. _________________ Did you know: If you plug speakers into your ears, your thoughts will be heard out loud Back to top Author LordoftheNight Revered IFian Joined: 11 Aug 2005 Posts: 5276 Location: Hell Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sat Feb 04, 2006 4:49 pm    Post subject: ahh, but you've in the EVIL guild, which means noblity is a foriegn concept to us, and as such we dont go after him if you weren't in the guild that would be a different matter - and therefore i would use a different point of arguement going after him renders his sacrifice worthless, and makes it seem as if you dont value him enough to allow him to give his all for you, constantly striving onwards to enhance your own life instead of allowing him to give up everything for your sakes it makes it seem as if you dont believe in his capability to look after himself, that you dont trust him enough to make his own descions, that he is merely a benefit for you, and not a give-take relationship _________________ Punishment leads to Fear. Fear leads to Obedience. Obedience leads to Freedom. Therefore, Punishment leads to Freedom. Ave Dominus Nox A Fronte Praecipitium a Tergo Lupi Blood Bowl Scraping the Barrel A Tale of Four Swords Passion Back to top Author Solomon Birch Honored Citizen Joined: 22 Nov 2005 Posts: 1562 Location: England..... but Japan beckons..... Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2006 5:21 am    Post subject: Voted to use Random and try and find IM, cos'.......cos'............jsut cos' _________________ "Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9 Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3 The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3 One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3 Green Eyes - Chapter 5 Back to top Author tramp in a storm Honored Citizen Joined: 11 Apr 2005 Posts: 1585 Location: You never know...I could be in YOUR dust bin. Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Mon Feb 06, 2006 12:48 pm    Post subject: lordofthenight wrote: ahh, but you've in the EVIL guild, which means noblity is a foriegn concept to us, and as such we dont go after him if you weren't in the guild that would be a different matter - and therefore i would use a different point of arguement going after him renders his sacrifice worthless, and makes it seem as if you dont value him enough to allow him to give his all for you, constantly striving onwards to enhance your own life instead of allowing him to give up everything for your sakes it makes it seem as if you dont believe in his capability to look after himself, that you dont trust him enough to make his own descions, that he is merely a benefit for you, and not a give-take relationship You do have a good point. But! He didnt jump out himself he was pushed out. And soon as we dont need a distraction anymore we can afford to save him, that way he saves us once and we save him once. Also about the guild, IM is in that guild. And no matter how EVIL we may be we have to help each other. So that means that we will have to help him. *looks at the poll.* well, it looks like we're going to save him anyway......*starts toddling in circles* (well now i've seen how toddling really works i might as well toddle. _________________ Did you know: If you plug speakers into your ears, your thoughts will be heard out loud Back to top Author LordoftheNight Revered IFian Joined: 11 Aug 2005 Posts: 5276 Location: Hell Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Mon Feb 06, 2006 12:51 pm    Post subject: Quote: You do have a good point no - i have an excellant evil point and whats a bit of treachory between friends? i'm sure he'll forgive us _________________ Punishment leads to Fear. Fear leads to Obedience. Obedience leads to Freedom. Therefore, Punishment leads to Freedom. Ave Dominus Nox A Fronte Praecipitium a Tergo Lupi Blood Bowl Scraping the Barrel A Tale of Four Swords Passion Back to top Author tramp in a storm Honored Citizen Joined: 11 Apr 2005 Posts: 1585 Location: You never know...I could be in YOUR dust bin. Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Mon Feb 06, 2006 12:57 pm    Post subject: ah but will we forgive our selves? that is the question. Anyway read the rest.....i have points too. Is anyone going to join me in toddling? all you do if shift your feet forwards while wobling. its easy and fun! _________________ Did you know: If you plug speakers into your ears, your thoughts will be heard out loud Back to top Author LordoftheNight Revered IFian Joined: 11 Aug 2005 Posts: 5276 Location: Hell Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Mon Feb 06, 2006 1:03 pm    Post subject: well, i for one am EVIL (even if i'm not in it) , as are a bunch of the others, so we'd quite easily forgive ourselves and the fact that he's also EVIL doesn't matter - there is no honour among thieves* and risking your lives to save him makes using him as a distraction slightly pointless *not that we in EVIL are thieves - no sir _________________ Punishment leads to Fear. Fear leads to Obedience. Obedience leads to Freedom. Therefore, Punishment leads to Freedom. Ave Dominus Nox A Fronte Praecipitium a Tergo Lupi Blood Bowl Scraping the Barrel A Tale of Four Swords Passion Back to top Author tramp in a storm Honored Citizen Joined: 11 Apr 2005 Posts: 1585 Location: You never know...I could be in YOUR dust bin. Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Mon Feb 06, 2006 1:17 pm    Post subject: *looks over to all the sofas* well i suppose i did give them better ones back..... But still, why is it pointless? that is the question. *little ice-cream Jr comes up* "Well it's not exactly an answer now is it?" _________________ Did you know: If you plug speakers into your ears, your thoughts will be heard out loud Back to top Author Ravenwing Honorable IFian Joined: 18 May 2004 Posts: 3750 Location: Virginia Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Fri Feb 10, 2006 1:02 pm    Post subject: We could have just dumped IM. But where else would be go and find? More of these monsters breeding somewhere? _________________ Stories New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice. Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM) Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words) Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall. -Confucius Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Fri Feb 10, 2006 8:59 pm    Post subject: Chapter 6 – Deep Dire Dark. “No problem” said Random. He concentrated for a moment and his nose and ears started to grow. “Wow! That’s so cool!” said Muaddib. Random winced! “Keep it down will you! That hurts!” Tramp was looking thoughtful. “Do you think he could do that with any part of his body?” she whispered to Chinaren. “Shhh!” said Random and first sniffed, and then listened down each of the tunnels. After a few moments he turned back to the small group, who were waiting silently. “Well, I have good news and bad news” he said, as his parts returned to normal size. “Oooh! I like these!” said Tramp, jumping up and down and clapping her hands. “Let’s have the good news!” “I can smell traces of our departed friend.” “…and the bad news?” asked Muaddib, always ready to come down on the other side of the coin. “It is coming from both tunnels.” “So then” said Muaddib, putting a finger to his lips thoughtfully, “he has either been separated from his soiled garments, or they have torn him in two.” “No!” wailed Tramp. “Well, no sense hanging around here is there? Muddy and I will go this way” Chinaren gestured at one tunnel, “and Random and Tramp, you go the other way.” “Look, for the last time it’s Muaddib okay?” “What about the security guards?” asked Random. “Two each.” “Okay, first one to spot something, scream” said Tramp moving into the tunnel that lead down. Random and two guards followed. “Oh never fear.” Said Chinaren, as they walked off the other way, wands at the ready, Muaddib lecturing him about the ‘Golden path’. * The tunnel continued to lead down, and Tramp pulled her garments around her as the air grew colder. Slowly the passage widened and they entered a large cavern which disappeared into inky blackness. They stopped in concern. “Now where?” shivered Tramp. Random squinted. “I think I can see something, straight on.” They walked forward carefully, loose stones underfoot making the footing treacherous. Random and Tramp drew closer together as the dark surrounded them, the echoes of their passage seemed to bounce around the cavern walls, coming back distorted and twisted, sounding almost like a low cackle. “Random?” whispered Tramp, as they looked around, wands held tightly infront of them. “What?” “I think something is out there.” “Shh. Stop a moment and let me listen.” They stopped. Silence. “Can’t hear anything.” He whispered, then gestured. “Over there. It’s a hut.” Tramps light went out. She said an un-lady-like word. There was a noise, like something kicking a rock, a little way away. “Don’t worry miss,” one of the guards said, as Tramp jumped. “We will take a look.” Chinaren didn’t hire guards who frightened easily. Unfortunately he didn’t hire those who were that bright either. They watched the guard’s forms, then their lights, bobbing away from them. “Nothing here.” One called back, rather inaccurately as it turned out. There was a tearing noise and a scream that was cut off suddenly. One light flew into the air back towards Tramp and Random. The other just went out. “Shit!” said Random. A form moved towards them. “Ahhhh! You’re not getting me you filthy beasts!” screamed Tramp, and opened fire. Her rounds briefly lit the cavern, like strobe lights in one of Muaddib’s more expensive nightclubs. Several hammered into the figure which dropped to the ground with bits missing. Tramp and Random peered into the gloom. It was one of the guards. “Oops.” Slowly the echoes of Tramp’s shots died away, to reveal a skittering sound which seemed to come from all directions. The two IFians went back to back as vague shadows started to form around them. “Oh crap.” Said Random. * “… and that is why it is not Muddy, but Muaddib.” “Uh hu,” said Chinaren, who hadn’t been listening. He stopped suddenly. “Hey Muddy, did you hear that?” Muaddib made a strangled noise. “Sounded like a scream suddenly cut off. Maybe it was IM.” “Could have been Tramp and Random.” “Nah, they would have used their communications orbs” said Chinaren. “We have orbs?” said Muaddib. “Sure. Didn’t I mention that? In your backpack.” Muaddib gave Chinaren a Look. “What! No one told us that!” He took his pack off and rummaged around in it, eventually pulling out a communications orb. He activated it and then spoke into it. “Tramp? Random? IM? Can anyone here me?” There was no response. “Ah, come on” said Chinaren, “they are fine, you know Tramp, she is probably having a blast.” * Tramp blasted wildly at another indistinct form in the dark. “On your left!!” she shouted. Random turned and let loose another volley from his wand. Explosions echoed around the cave and flashes of light gave brief glances of nightmare figures, black as shadows with glowing blue eyes. The one Random fired at disintegrated under his onslaught. Tramp turned to face another one. Her wand fired once and then made a buzzing sound. “Noooo! I am out of magic!” she cried. Random glanced around. “Run for the hut! I will cover you!” They both made a break for it, Tramp sprinting ahead in the dark. Random walked backwards, selecting his targets carefully. “Come on!” shouted Tramp, at the door of the hut. Random turned and slipped on a loose stone, falling to the ground. Tramp saw black shadows moving in around him. “Get into the hut!” he shouted. Tramp backed into the door, peering out. Flashes of light and explosions rocked the cavern as Random tried to fight off the gathering shadows. There was a brief, intense, bout of firing. Then it went quiet. Sobbing to herself, Tramp closed the door quietly and leaned against it. “Hello” said a voice in the gloom. * Muaddib put the orb away, and was about to say something when one of the guards, who had been scouting ahead, came back. “Door ahead sir” he said, saluting. The door was an old wooden one, though still perfectly usable. It was set into the side of the tunnel, which stretched on into the dark. Muaddib pushed the door, which swung open. “When is a door not a door?” he asked to himself. Chinaren peered in. “Some sort of storeroom.” They entered, Muaddib kicked something as he did so. He bent to pick it up. “Hello, what’s this? Arg!!” IM soiled pants flew through the air narrowly missing one of the guards. “Looks like we are on the right trail then.” Chinaren said. Muaddib swung his light around the room. “Wonder what’s in these crates?” >>>>>> Right, Random appears to have fallen to creatures from the deep, and Tramp is trapped in a hut with someone. Meanwhile, China and Muddy are about to peer into some crates. What will they find? What would likely be stored in the mine? Something useful? Or maybe IM is hiding contraband in his storeroom? Suggestions please! (Sorry it’s a bit of a lame d-point!) <<<<<< _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author D-Lotus Venerable IFian Joined: 21 Oct 2004 Posts: 4123 Location: Hollywood, USA Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Fri Feb 10, 2006 10:20 pm    Post subject: It's obviously boxes full of dictionaries to understans saxonish, or contraband weapons the rebellious mine workers were going to use to overthrow IM...that is, until they got layed off (Chinaren sold them, of course). Or there is even a distinct possibility of those crates being filled with Anti-Repellent For Whatever Those Things Are That Dwell In Abandoned Mines. _________________ Chapter 5: The Rendezvous Back to top Author Shady Stoat Elder Joined: 02 Oct 2005 Posts: 2950 Location: England Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sat Feb 11, 2006 12:05 am    Post subject: Well, I don't know... could IM have been harvesting souls for all the Demon-restaurants in the City? I mean, how many workers come down the Idearium Mines and are become mindless drones with not a speck of creativity to their names? Think of all those 14,000 Citizens of IF whom we never see posting! Is this what happened to them? Crates full of souls. Open that one if you dare Back to top Author ethereal_fauna Perpetually Distracted Joined: 16 Feb 2005 Posts: 2567 Location: USA Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sat Feb 11, 2006 1:14 am    Post subject: I rather like D-Lotus' suggestion about the saxonish dictionaries, although boxes full of used undergarments from the Muaddib district might explain some of the polution of the mines... _________________ The maker of a sentence launches out into the infinite and builds a road into Chaos and old Night, and is followed by those who hear him with something of wild, creative delight. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sat Feb 11, 2006 1:38 am    Post subject: Quote: used undergarments from the Muaddib district might explain some of the polution of the mines Arg! I like Stoat's lost souls idea though. Spooky! _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author Smee Revered IFian Joined: 16 Oct 2004 Posts: 5215 Location: UK Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sat Feb 11, 2006 1:46 am    Post subject: Good chapter. Hmmmm... The souls idea makes sense - these people must go somewhere. They could be full of fables - part of the Mayoral Retirement Slush Fund spread out in hidden places throughout the city? Happy Writing. _________________ The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the Devil's own Satanic Herd! Last edited by Smee on Sat Feb 11, 2006 12:06 pm; edited 1 time in total Back to top Author Idea master Magus Extraordinaire Joined: 10 May 2004 Posts: 1787 Location: Sneaking Idearium into your beverages. Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sat Feb 11, 2006 10:35 am    Post subject: Now how did you get there without setting off the traps? I'll have you know that those crates contain an almost limitless supply of raw magic, just waiting to be used. After all, how else do you explain the prices of those wands? I've been hoarding it for decades, selling a bit at a time to make a fortune. Well, we finally got some currency around here, and now I can REALLY make a fortune- Oh, wait, I've been ranting again. In any case, should you find that the crates contain something undeniably rare, then China should try and smuggle out as much as possible, maybe even telling his 'gaurds' to do as such as well. _________________ ...So I've been summoned back from beyond the veil. ...No plans yet. Back to top Author LordoftheNight Revered IFian Joined: 11 Aug 2005 Posts: 5276 Location: Hell Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sat Feb 11, 2006 1:29 pm    Post subject: i must admit - i'm liking the souls idea _________________ Punishment leads to Fear. Fear leads to Obedience. Obedience leads to Freedom. Therefore, Punishment leads to Freedom. Ave Dominus Nox A Fronte Praecipitium a Tergo Lupi Blood Bowl Scraping the Barrel A Tale of Four Swords Passion Back to top Author tramp in a storm Honored Citizen Joined: 11 Apr 2005 Posts: 1585 Location: You never know...I could be in YOUR dust bin. Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Mon Feb 13, 2006 5:39 pm    Post subject: I like the souls idea. I also like the crates full of magic idea. but..... It could also be IM hiding behind one of them. that way we can have one of the other ideas as well as finding IM! Wehey! Or IM could be the hut. and the crates are full of magic ......CHIMPANZEES!!! yes! chimps! magic chimps in the crates. and they give out a magic juice. O.K. too much thinking there. I'll make a dicision. I say that IM is in the hut and that the crates are full of raw monkey-magic. (magic for monkeys also givven to IF citizens) _________________ Did you know: If you plug speakers into your ears, your thoughts will be heard out loud Back to top Author jess1561 Guest Items Posted: Mon Feb 13, 2006 8:49 pm    Post subject: I like the souls idea and the magic idea... Can't there be crates of both? I think IM is somewhere in the hut... Back to top Author Solomon Birch Honored Citizen Joined: 22 Nov 2005 Posts: 1562 Location: England..... but Japan beckons..... Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Tue Feb 14, 2006 10:31 am    Post subject: tramp in a storm wrote: Or IM could be the hut. and the crates are full of magic ......CHIMPANZEES!!! yes! chimps! magic chimps in the crates. and they give out a magic juice. ROFL! Ewww, giving off magic juice!?! That's horrible! Good chapter Chin. I also like the souls idea, as we need to do something with all of those absent members. _________________ "Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9 Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3 The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3 One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3 Green Eyes - Chapter 5 Back to top Author tramp in a storm Honored Citizen Joined: 11 Apr 2005 Posts: 1585 Location: You never know...I could be in YOUR dust bin. Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Tue Feb 14, 2006 10:39 am    Post subject: I like the souls idea too, but i thought that they were slaves. I always thought that they'd be the people working in the idea mines. But we could always have half and half. Like some boxes have one thing and other have something else. _________________ Did you know: If you plug speakers into your ears, your thoughts will be heard out loud Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sat Feb 18, 2006 3:02 am    Post subject: Okay peeps. Poll is up! _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author LordoftheNight Revered IFian Joined: 11 Aug 2005 Posts: 5276 Location: Hell Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sat Feb 18, 2006 5:01 am    Post subject: went for souls - and winning _________________ Punishment leads to Fear. Fear leads to Obedience. Obedience leads to Freedom. Therefore, Punishment leads to Freedom. Ave Dominus Nox A Fronte Praecipitium a Tergo Lupi Blood Bowl Scraping the Barrel A Tale of Four Swords Passion Back to top Author Solomon Birch Honored Citizen Joined: 22 Nov 2005 Posts: 1562 Location: England..... but Japan beckons..... Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sat Feb 18, 2006 1:50 pm    Post subject: SOULS SOULS SOULS!!!! MUWAHAHAHAHAHA!!! _________________ "Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9 Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3 The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3 One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3 Green Eyes - Chapter 5 Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Fri Feb 24, 2006 4:07 am    Post subject: Okay then. Souls it is. I am writing the next chapter. _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author Smee Revered IFian Joined: 16 Oct 2004 Posts: 5215 Location: UK Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Fri Feb 24, 2006 4:27 am    Post subject: I missed the vote - and my option of Mayoral slush fund wasn't even on the poll. _________________ The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the Devil's own Satanic Herd! Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Fri Feb 24, 2006 4:31 am    Post subject: Oops. Sorry Smee! In anycase, here is the next chapter. Chapter 7 - Boom boom boom. “Aaarg!” Tramp screamed then clamped a hand over her own mouth. There were lots of things outside, and whatever was in here was at least speaking and not trying to eat her or whatever. She peered into the gloom of the hut. “Who’s there?” “Is that you Tramp?” “Maybe” Tramp said, not willing to commit until she had further information. “It’s me, Shogun.” “Shogun? But they said you had left for some other city! We all had a party to burn your effigy and everything. Good cake too.” Tramp paused for a moment, trying to recapture the taste of coffee gateau. “No, no. I have been down here, trapped in this hut!” Tramp removed her backpack and fiddled with the fastenings in the dark. “Wait a minute Shogun, there may be a light here somewhere.” “NO!” whispered Shogun fiercely, and a bony hand clamped over Tramp’s wrist. “They are attracted to the light. They hate it you see. It kills them if them are exposed to too much of it.” “Oh. What are they exactly?” Shogun shrugged in the dark, which was a wasted gesture as Tramp couldn’t see him. “Someone has been taking the Souls that are down here and changing them somehow, making them into evil shadow creatures.” “And how did you get here?” “Er, I was wandering nearby when I saw something suspicious. I crept forward for a closer look and someone hit me on the head. I woke up in the mines. Luckily I found this hut and I have been hiding here ever since.” “Did you see who it was that hit you?” “No, not clearly, but there was a definite familiar ring to the voice.” Tramp slid down the door until she was sitting on the floor. “So how have you survived for so long?” “This hut is a store. I have been eating candles. They are really quite tasty once you get used to them. I lick the moisture of the stones for water and, er, recycle.” “Euuh!” Tramp wrinkled her nose once she figured out what he meant. “No really, it’s not that bad once you get used to it. Here, want a drink?” “Ahh. No. No thank-you.” They fell into a thoughtful silence for a moment, broken only by the sounds of someone taking a swig of Vino de Shogun. Tramp winced at the sound and crawled forward, bumping into a box as she did so. She rummaged around for a moment and picked out what felt like a large candle.” “So, you just eat these raw then?” she asked. “What?” said Shogun. “What raw?” “These candles?” Tramp waved the thing about, though Shogun couldn’t see her. “There are no candles left. I ate the last one yesterday. Well, it could have been yesterday. Maybe it was an hour ago. It’s a bit hard to tell down here.” “So then. What’s this then?” “What’s what?” “This big candle, I found it in this box.” There was a pause. “Er, Tramp?” “Yes?” “That’s not a candle.” “Yes it is, look it’s long and thin and I can feel the wick.” She rolled it between her hands playfully. There was a scrabbling sound as though someone was pressing himself against the wall farthest away from the idiot waving a stick of high explosive around. “That’s not a wick. It’s a fuse…” > “Let’s see shall we?” Said Chinaren. He gestured at one of the guards and the man tugged at the lid of the nearest crate. Chinaren and Muaddib stepped back. After a few moments of grunting the guard managed to rip the lid off. He stumbled back with it in his hand, quickly followed by several wispy forms that howled out of the crate and leapt on him, swarming around him in a misty mass as he thrashed about and screamed on the floor. Chinaren and Muaddib leaned against the door from the outside, listening to the cries from within as they slowly, very slowly, subsided. “Souls!” said Muaddib as the last few whimpers died away. “IM was storing souls down here!” “So that is where all those IFians who come here but we never see end up! I always thought that Lord of The Night and Phang used them for their rituals. Though there haven’t been so many pies in the Guild kitchen lately.” There was a hollow thumping on the door. Muaddib and Chinaren looked at each other. “Best move on eh?” said Muaddib. “Yes. Let’s not dawdle.” The two, after securing the door as best they could, moved off carefully down the tunnel again. The last remaining security guard glancing around nervously and followed them. He was beginning to wish he had gone into accounting, like his mum had said. > “So why didn’t you use them to get out of here?” She said, once the explosive was safely on the floor, and not being shaken about in a manner that could result in small pieces of Tramp. “No lighter.” “Oh. Well, if that’s all.” There was silence for a short while as Tramp fumbled about in her pockets, eventually producing a small Idearium fueled lighter. She thought a moment and then carefully picked up the explosive, putting it and several more sticks into her pack until there was just one left near her hand on the floor. “What are you doing?” Came the voice of Shogun. “I am getting us out of here. Be ready to run when I say. Ready?” “No!” shouted Shogun, as Tramp picked up the last stick and activated her light. She stopped. The thing that was Shogun leapt at her. Snarling long teeth protruding from a deformed mouth. Dark eyes winced at the light. She barely had time to dodge as Dark Shogun lashed out at her with a long clawed hand. “Nooooeee lighty!” he screeched as he landed on her, pushing her over and causing the lighter to go clattering to the floor. The two rolled around on the ground and Tramp soon found out that the Shogun thing was not wearing any clothes. She kicked out at a tender spot, managing to throw him off. “What happened to you Shogun?” Tramp gasped, one hand hunting for the lighter. “Ayee. Now you die!” was the only response as Shogun leapt at her once more, but Tramp was ready. She dived to one side, still holding the explosive stick in one hand. Finally locating the lighter she activated it again, causing Shogun to shield his eyes and jump wildly. Tramp dodged to one side and booted him into a pile of old boxes, where he landed head first. She lit the fuse, thrust the stick hard into a secure place and bolted out of the door into the dark of the cavern. Shogun-thing, stuck in the boxes screamed in discomfort as something was forcibly something entered into his “rear mouth”. He suddenly realized what it was. His eyes went wide. “Oh fu…” There was one of those moments of total silence, then Shogun exploded, quickly followed by the hut, which was packed with several more cases of highly unstable Idearium sticks. The resulting blast is best shown in slow motion, from a camera angle to the front of Tramp, who was running for her life in a straight line away from the hut. Slowly, remember we are in slow motion here, the hut erupted in a orange ball, tinted with the blue of Iderium. The wood of the hut splintered and shot outward and upward in the form of a million tiny spears. The shockwave preceded the blast and spread out in one of those cool halo type effects, sweeping dark creatures away as it expanded and finally caught up with Tramp, whom it picked up and tossed high into the air… > The tunnel was getting darker, and Chinaren turned his light up. The walls seemed to be coated with a murky slime. Muaddib stopped and wiped at it with his finger. “What is it?” asked Chinaren. “Slime,” said Muaddib. Chinaren was about to make a Remark when a booming echo reverberated through the tunnel. The ground underfoot shook and small bits of stone and dust rained down on them. “What was that?” asked Chinaren, suddenly realizing he was claustrophobic. “No idea. Come on, let’s keep moving. I don’t like this place at all. I don’t know why I didn’t volunteer for the sewers, it can’t be any worse* than here.” The three walked on slowly, the slime getting thicker on the walls and the air growing colder. Finally they entered a long thin cave. The slime dripped down onto Muaddibs’ head and he swore and looked up. “Oh no.” “What?” said Chinaren, following his gaze upwards and immediately wishing he hadn’t. There, entombed in slime Aliens style, was IM, Random and one of the security guards. They appeared to be unconcious, maybe they were dead. It was hard to tell. “Sir!” the last security guard tapped Chinaren on the shoulder, making him jump. “I think I can hear something from the other end of the cave!” Muaddib and Chinaren looked at each other, then up at the entombed trio, then at the end of the cave and finally back at the tunnel where they came from. “Well China, this is your expedition.” Said Muaddib. “What do you think?” *Although I will try my best. >>>>>>> There you go folks, I am all out of Idearium. What should they do now? Try and rescue their stuck companions? Investigate the noise? Go back? Something else? What do you say? <<<<<< _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Last edited by Chinaren on Fri Feb 24, 2006 4:44 am; edited 1 time in total Back to top Author ethereal_fauna Perpetually Distracted Joined: 16 Feb 2005 Posts: 2567 Location: USA Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Fri Feb 24, 2006 4:41 am    Post subject: Ask what plastered them there first. After all the guy is talking. If it's something that's only a little bit ugly, then try to free them and move on. If it sounds really nasty, then leave them there to its tender mercies. Now if the guy is completely useless and doesn't know, kill him just for fun and plod onwards. _________________ The maker of a sentence launches out into the infinite and builds a road into Chaos and old Night, and is followed by those who hear him with something of wild, creative delight. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Fri Feb 24, 2006 4:42 am    Post subject: No, that's the last remaining guard with China and Muddy. The ones slimed are unconcious. Should have mentioned that. Can't make it too easy! There, made a slight alteration. _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author Shady Stoat Elder Joined: 02 Oct 2005 Posts: 2950 Location: England Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Fri Feb 24, 2006 4:48 am    Post subject: Oooh, Evil Shogun! Narsty! I definitely think you should rescue Random, IM and the guard. After all, you're running out of cannon-fodd.... I mean, red-suited security guards to throw at the horrors down the Idearium Mines. The more the merrier, say I Back to top Author Smee Revered IFian Joined: 16 Oct 2004 Posts: 5215 Location: UK Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Fri Feb 24, 2006 4:56 am    Post subject: Good chapter. Stoaty makes a good point. Rescue the poor slimed devils. Happy Writing. _________________ The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the Devil's own Satanic Herd! Back to top Author Idea master Magus Extraordinaire Joined: 10 May 2004 Posts: 1787 Location: Sneaking Idearium into your beverages. Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Fri Feb 24, 2006 5:18 am    Post subject: Go ahead and rescue me. You can probably get a lot of information out of me at this point in time, because the slime has a mixture of toxins, those commonly found in intoxicating beverages and truth serum. So go ahead. As long as you keep your mouth shut about what you find out when I regain my wits, you could probably live a little longer than a few minutes. _________________ ...So I've been summoned back from beyond the veil. ...No plans yet. Back to top Author LordoftheNight Revered IFian Joined: 11 Aug 2005 Posts: 5276 Location: Hell Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Fri Feb 24, 2006 7:10 am    Post subject: i think you should rescue the guard, and maybe random - but leave IM there i mean - spoiling good meat, how dare he _________________ Punishment leads to Fear. Fear leads to Obedience. Obedience leads to Freedom. Therefore, Punishment leads to Freedom. Ave Dominus Nox A Fronte Praecipitium a Tergo Lupi Blood Bowl Scraping the Barrel A Tale of Four Swords Passion Back to top Author ethereal_fauna Perpetually Distracted Joined: 16 Feb 2005 Posts: 2567 Location: USA Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Fri Feb 24, 2006 7:33 am    Post subject: Well hell, if they're all out of it, then leave them there. Sure we might be running out of fodder but it's untelling what kind of mutating, fungi-growing, mucous-encrusted foulness they have lurking within, just waiting to be sneezed out onto the unwary... _________________ The maker of a sentence launches out into the infinite and builds a road into Chaos and old Night, and is followed by those who hear him with something of wild, creative delight. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson Back to top Author tramp in a storm Honored Citizen Joined: 11 Apr 2005 Posts: 1585 Location: You never know...I could be in YOUR dust bin. Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2006 7:05 am    Post subject: *dances around and jumps with joy!* Oh Joy of the joly joyus joys! I caused a massive cool explosion!!! woo! Lordy, you're not very nice! I say rescue them all. Then you can make the guard suffer for entertainment. Also IM could have lots of information that we need and he might also have a pack of cards in his pocket. We need something fun to do. (apart from explosions) _________________ Did you know: If you plug speakers into your ears, your thoughts will be heard out loud Back to top Author Solomon Birch Honored Citizen Joined: 22 Nov 2005 Posts: 1562 Location: England..... but Japan beckons..... Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2006 8:30 am    Post subject: I'm going to go against everyone and say that because everyone down in the mine are a bunch of pansies (in their own special way, ) so learning that there's something that goos people to walls waiting for them down the other end of the mine would be incentive to RUN VERY FAST IN THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION!! Anywho... good chapter again China! _________________ "Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9 Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3 The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3 One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3 Green Eyes - Chapter 5 Back to top Author Muaddib Comrade Joined: 31 Dec 2004 Posts: 1765 Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Tue Feb 28, 2006 4:53 am    Post subject: I think in all our best interests, the last security guard should stay back while China and I make a strategic exit. Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Tue Feb 28, 2006 5:12 am    Post subject: Muaddib wrote: I think in all our best interests, the last security guard should stay back while China and I make a strategic exit. You don't really think getting out is going to be that easy do you? _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Thu Mar 02, 2006 4:59 am    Post subject: Okay poll is up. Click your buttons people... _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author LordoftheNight Revered IFian Joined: 11 Aug 2005 Posts: 5276 Location: Hell Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Thu Mar 02, 2006 8:47 am    Post subject: voted for leaving IM _________________ Punishment leads to Fear. Fear leads to Obedience. Obedience leads to Freedom. Therefore, Punishment leads to Freedom. Ave Dominus Nox A Fronte Praecipitium a Tergo Lupi Blood Bowl Scraping the Barrel A Tale of Four Swords Passion Back to top Author tramp in a storm Honored Citizen Joined: 11 Apr 2005 Posts: 1585 Location: You never know...I could be in YOUR dust bin. Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Thu Mar 02, 2006 1:56 pm    Post subject: I voted to rescue all three. Poor people cant just leave them there! Anyway like I said. IM might have a pack of cards in his pocket as well as lots of information. _________________ Did you know: If you plug speakers into your ears, your thoughts will be heard out loud Back to top Author D-Lotus Venerable IFian Joined: 21 Oct 2004 Posts: 4123 Location: Hollywood, USA Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Thu Mar 02, 2006 7:07 pm    Post subject: You know, IM might have some creepy disease, creepier than any alien, spirit or anything else. _________________ Chapter 5: The Rendezvous Back to top Author tramp in a storm Honored Citizen Joined: 11 Apr 2005 Posts: 1585 Location: You never know...I could be in YOUR dust bin. Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Mon Mar 06, 2006 12:58 pm    Post subject: I'm a tramp from Mars. I stand more chances of disease than anyone around the city. Especially magic related ones. lol *achoo* hehe _________________ Did you know: If you plug speakers into your ears, your thoughts will be heard out loud Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Thu Mar 09, 2006 5:52 am    Post subject: Okay then. Vote goes to rescue the three. Expect the next chapter in about an hour or so. _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author ethereal_fauna Perpetually Distracted Joined: 16 Feb 2005 Posts: 2567 Location: USA Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Thu Mar 09, 2006 5:54 am    Post subject: *accidentally thwacks Chinny thinking she's found Bob* Ooops, sorry about that. _________________ The maker of a sentence launches out into the infinite and builds a road into Chaos and old Night, and is followed by those who hear him with something of wild, creative delight. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Thu Mar 09, 2006 5:54 am    Post subject: Ow! _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author ethereal_fauna Perpetually Distracted Joined: 16 Feb 2005 Posts: 2567 Location: USA Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Thu Mar 09, 2006 6:00 am    Post subject: _________________ The maker of a sentence launches out into the infinite and builds a road into Chaos and old Night, and is followed by those who hear him with something of wild, creative delight. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Thu Mar 09, 2006 7:30 am    Post subject: Chapter 8 - Soul mates. Chapter 8 - Soul mates. Chinaren thought a moment, looking back over his shoulder and then forward towards where the sounds were coming from. “I think,” he said carefully, “we need more cannon fod… er, help. We should rescue our brave colleagues.” “Mmmm.” Muaddib frowned. “Here, let me give you a lift up,” Chinaren said to Muaddib, cupping his hands. “What!? ME!? Why my? Why not you?” Chinaren shook his head sadly. “It’s obvious. You are taller than I am. Now come on.” He turned to the guard. “Come on help out here.” Muaddib looked doubtful for a moment, as if trying to find a flaw in Chinaren’s logic. Then he sighed. “Why not?” With much grunting and the occasional shout the two hoisted him up towards the gunk covered ceiling. “Urg! It’s all slimy!” Muaddib complained as he started to dig around Random. “Good for your skin” grunted Chinaren, “now hurry up, and when we get back I suggest you go on a diet.” Muaddib merely mumbled something about The Path under his breath and continued to scoop out slime, ‘accidentally’ dropping some on Chinaren as he did so. “Sorry!” he said, not sincerely at all. As the slime came away Random groaned. He started to slip out just as he opened his eyes. “Look out!” shouted Muaddib. He leapt out of the way, grabbing hold of the embedded figures of IM and the other guard as Random popped forth like a reluctant number two finally losing the fight. “Arg!” Chinaren and the guard collapsed as Random landed on top of them. Muaddib was left hanging onto the two remaining slimees. “Ah, guys? A little help here?” he said, trying to get a better grip on IMs robe. The guard moved slightly. IM also slid out a little way from his clammy embrace. “Oh shit.” Said Muaddib in a small voice. Chinaren looked up just in time to see the two remaining captives slide free, taking Muaddib with them… > Storm woke up. At least she thought she did as the view didn’t change. She poked at her eye to make sure they were open. “Ow!” They were. Carefully and quietly she felt around. She seemed to be in one of the mine tunnels, probably just off the cavern. Her helmet light had gone out presumably. It was a bit hard to know, as the helmet was no longer resident on her head. Maybe there was another in her backpack. She rummaged around blindly for a while, muttering low curses under her breath. “Aha! What’s this? Oh, a cream cake. Why would anyone have a cream cake in a survival pack?” She ate the cake and then rummaged around some more, finally finding an orb. Groping about she hit a small button and a tiny display lit up, just about enough to see by. It said ‘recording’. “Oh, it’s a camera orb.” Storm said to herself. By the light of the camera she searched the rest of the pack, but either there had been nothing useful in there in the first place, or stuff had fallen out of the hole she found torn in the bottom. “Damn!” Standing up she cast the orb around. Behind her was a wall of fallen rock, presumably from the explosion. Ahead yawned darkness. She turned the orb around to face herself to frame her head in the shot, up close. “This is Storm, just in case anyone finds this recording I am all alone. I don’t know where the others are. I am heading down into the tunnels. It’s dark and I am scared. I hope there is another way out, I am going to explore.” She turned the camera around to light the way ahead and then walked off down the tunnel, recording jerkily as she did so… > “Are you guys okay? What did they do to you? Do you remember anything? Random! Speak to me!” Muaddib shook Random, who was trying to stand up without falling over. “Random? Random! That’s me yes! Random.” Said Random. He smiled a strange smile. “Yes, I am fine. Better than fine!” IM and the guard also stood up shakily. Chinaren frowned, but his attention was distracted by the noise from the end of the corridor. Taking out his wand he waved at the others. “Come on.” They peered forward, but followed as Chinaren tiptoed quietly down towards a curtain of all things. Making a ‘shushing’ signal at the others he peered very carefully around it. Beyond was an enormous hall filled with strange shapes. It was dimly lit from a high roof, and appeared to be deserted, though the noise they had heard before was coming from behind what looked like a rack of coffin shaped boxes. “I don’t like the look of this” said Muaddib, peering through next to Chinaren. “Come on” replied Chinaren, sneaking into the hall. Several of the boxes lay ahead and, checking around as they went, they slid over to investigate. The boxes were made of some transparent material, with wires leading from them to a giant shape that lay beyond. “What’s that?” asked the guard gesturing at the thing the wires led to. “I don’t know, but look!” Muaddib pointed at the nearest box. Laying inside the opened top coffin was the familiar figure of Random. The two nearby held the shapes of IM and the other guard. “Wait, if these are…” Chinaren looked around at the other IM, Random and Guard. “Who are…?” “Maybe these are clones? Look! An off button!” Muaddib clicked a switch on the box with IM in it. Immediately the IM, or clone, opened his eyes. “Mummy!” He said. Chinaren and Muaddib swung around and pointed their wands at the three they had rescued. Those things grinned wide, un-natural, smiles. “How unfortunate. You seem to have stumbled upon our little plan.” Said the one that looked like IM. Chinaren stepped back, wand pointing at the imposters, and clicked the off button on the other coffin things. Random and the other guard groaned and sat up. “What are you? Who are you?” Muaddib said, swinging his wand left and right, trying to keep them covered. “Why I am Random!” the Random one said. “At least I will be, once we dispose of you.” “They are lost souls!” cried the real Random, sitting up and stumbling out of the box. The other IM stepped forward. “Yes, that’s right, and soon we will take your place in the above! We will return and carry out the Masters’ plan!” “Who is your master? What plan?” Muaddib said. He was interrupted by a small sound followed by the real IM sitting up. “Mummy! I need new pants!” Muaddib was distracted for a second and the clone guard took the opportunity to lunge at him. Chinaren fired his Mogrum 2000, a blast which echoed around the cavern. The clones' head dissapeared. “Get them!” screamed the Random clone, but Muaddib and Chinaren opened fire, and the imposters juddered and jerked as the repeated blasts slammed into them. They both fell to the floor, gaping wounds oozing a dull green slime instead of blood. “Come on, get up!” said Muaddib to the three they had rescued. “Those shots will bring more down on us.” “Here!” said Chinaren, fishing a couple of spare wands out of his pack. “Let’s move!” They ran off, half crouching, into the giant cavern. Behind them the clones jerked and sat up slowly. They grinned at each other and lurched to their feet… > “Look! Over there!” said Random pointing. A little way away, standing by some sort of giant machine was a robed figure, pulling levers and cackling to himself. They looked at each other and stepped forth, wands held in front of them. “Stay where you are!” said Random, in what he hoped was a commanding voice. The figure whirled, his face obscured in the dark recesses of his hood. “So!” he said, in the tone of evil supervillains confronted in their lairs everywhere, “you have discovered our little plan! Well, it’s too late! You cannot stop us now!” and he threw his head back and cackled with maniacal laughter. All that was missing was the white cat. “Explain yourself, or I will blow you apart and ask questions later” said Muaddib. “Oh, I don’t think so my dear Muddy! I don’t think so at all.” The figure snapped his finger and suddenly a multitude of figures stepped forth from the shadows. “These are just empty hulks, zombies if you will, waiting for souls to fill them, but they can still obey orders. Look.” He raised a hand and pointed. “GET THEM!” The hulks moved forward and the mastermind ducked down as Muaddib and the others opened fire. “After him! He is the key to the whole thing!” shouted Chinaren, blasting a zombie’s leg off. The creature fell to the floor but carried on crawling, grasping at Chinaren’s foot as he leapt over it. The others let loose with the wands, blasting at the encroaching clones, following Chinaren’s mad dash in a group as the nightmarish figures shuffled on, hands reaching greedily. IM hit a clone of Random on the head and then shot it at point blank range, splattering himself with green gunk. “Asta la bisto baby!” he screamed at it. They fought their way across the space, leaving leaking carcasses behind them. The smell of Idearium blasts and blue smoke filled the room. Flashes from the wands creating strobe lighting and strange shadows around the hall. Chinaren fired at an oncoming zombie and blew a hole clean through it, knocking it to one side and leapt at the retreating cloaked form, who was fiddling at a door latch. He grabbed hold of the figure just as it swung the portal open and pushed him to the floor, landing on top of him. Panting, he stuck his wand into the black recess of the figures hood. “This is the Mogrum 2000, the most powerful handwand in the world. The thing is, what with all the excitement and everything, I have forgotten how many charges I have left. Maybe there is one, maybe there is none. So the question you have to ask now is: ‘Do you feel lucky?’” He paused a moment for dramatic effect. “Well, do you… PUNK?!” The figure paused a moment and then made a move. Chinaren activated the wand. It went ‘click’. He said a Bad Word. The villain hit out frantically, knocking Chinaren to the ground and cackling evilly. He grabbed a strange stick, some sort of large wand of his own and pointed it at Chinaren. Chinaren wasn’t that stupid, and rolled across the floor as the stranger’s wand spewed forth fire, narrowly missing him and leaving a hole in the space where he had been. He slammed another charge into his wand and pointed it back at the figure, just in time to see the door slam shut. “Crap!” he said, with feeling. “Chinaren! A little help over here!” came the voice of Random over wandfire. Chinaren stood up to see the others backing towards him as a tide of zombies advanced. “Hold them off!” he shouted and headed towards the door, which had a combination lock. “I will get this door open!” “Hurry!!” cried IM spraying a leaping clone with his wand in rapid fire mode. “Conserve your magic” shouted Muaddib, “pick your targets!” He fired a well aimed shot and brought down another monster. “Just keep them busy for a minute more! This is a Ya.1e lock, the same as Key has on his Grog cabinet, I can have it open in a trice!” Chinaren busied himself with the door. > IM jumped to one side, into a small space, to avoid a grasping zombie. “Hello.” Said a voice behind him. He turned in slow horror to come face to face with…himself. “Oh mothe…” he started to say. > “IM!!” screamed Random backing away and then grunting as a figure landed on him from above, forcing him to the floor. He grappled with his attacker, rolling around on the floor. Looking right back at him, nose to nose, was Random. “Nice to see you again” said his clone. “Can you do this?” So saying it opened its mouth impossibly wide, showing teeth a shark would be proud of… > “Hurry for the love of IF!” said Muaddib backing away towards Chinaren as the final guard went down under a swarm of clones. “Open the freeking door!” “and….done!” said Chinaren standing up as the door swung open to reveal a narrow chimney with an iron ladder leading upwards. “Coming?” he said to Muaddib, leaping through and starting to climb. Muaddib jumped backwards and followed him, climbing frantically up the narrow hand-holds. Panting madly the two climbed and climbed, until, as they reached the limit of their strength, Chinaren suddenly stopped. “What’s the matter? Why have you stopped?” asked Muaddib. “A hatch. Hold on, have it open in two seconds.” Muaddib felt something hold onto his ankle and looked down to see a familiar face. “IM! Thank god! I though the things got you.” IM smiled an unusual smile. “They did.” Muaddib swore and took a deep breath. “Chinaren?” “Yes?” “You owe me, big time.” “What?” Muaddib let go of the rungs. “Done it!” Chinaren swung open the hatch to reveal blessed sunlight. “Muddy? Muddy? Where did you go?” Far below, at the bottom of the shaft, there were two dull thumps in quick succession. > Key sat back and lit a cigar. He surveyed his table, which was covered with scribbled notes. “Hey Dean? What does this flashing light mean on this orb?” he said as the item in question caught his eye. The shadowy figure of Dean poked its head though from the attic hatch. “Someone is calling in, answer it!” “Oh.” Key picked the orb up carefully and pressed a button. “Hello, this is mother hen here, come in. Over.” “Who the bloody hell is mother hen? Let me speak to Key!” came the crackling voice of Chinaren. “I have some bad news and some good news. But mostly bad…” >>>>>> So there you go folks. My outing has been done. Phew. Don’t worry about Muaddib and co. Chinaren Labs will have their backups up and about in no time. Now then, who shall we follow next? Poll up soon. <<<<<< _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author ethereal_fauna Perpetually Distracted Joined: 16 Feb 2005 Posts: 2567 Location: USA Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Thu Mar 09, 2006 7:44 am    Post subject: Let's check on Smee and the mod machine...obviously this evil-doer is generating clones, imposters... Surely has to be tied to the mod effigies. _________________ The maker of a sentence launches out into the infinite and builds a road into Chaos and old Night, and is followed by those who hear him with something of wild, creative delight. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson Back to top Author Shady Stoat Elder Joined: 02 Oct 2005 Posts: 2950 Location: England Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Thu Mar 09, 2006 8:33 am    Post subject: *grins* I like the 'Feeling lucky, punk?' Very Pratchettian, with a slightly different twist. So, we're finished iwth the mines for now. I can't remember all the options, so I'll wait to see what the poll comes up with. I rather suspect that the giant moles are going to be looked into next though. Another chance to kill a stoatly character off, eh Chinaren? Back to top Author Muaddib Comrade Joined: 31 Dec 2004 Posts: 1765 Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Thu Mar 09, 2006 8:46 am    Post subject: If only we'd had a coupla' lightsabers when the clones had attacked. 'twould have been purrfect. Back to top Author Solomon Birch Honored Citizen Joined: 22 Nov 2005 Posts: 1562 Location: England..... but Japan beckons..... Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Thu Mar 09, 2006 9:07 am    Post subject: Great chapter once again Chinaman! You effectivly and efficiantly killed numerous IFians with style! :biggrin: If I remember correctly, one of the other options was the mysterious shadowy figure, so I think we should do that next! _________________ "Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9 Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3 The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3 One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3 Green Eyes - Chapter 5 Back to top Author Smee Revered IFian Joined: 16 Oct 2004 Posts: 5215 Location: UK Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Thu Mar 09, 2006 9:42 am    Post subject: Great chapter Chinaren - enjoyed it a lot. I can't remember all the options, so I too am going to await the poll, or maybe 'our bub with a quick recap' Happy Writing _________________ The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the Devil's own Satanic Herd! Back to top Author Ingrothechundyer Guest Items Posted: Thu Mar 09, 2006 9:42 am    Post subject: Nice chapter China Back to top Author LordoftheNight Revered IFian Joined: 11 Aug 2005 Posts: 5276 Location: Hell Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Thu Mar 09, 2006 4:39 pm    Post subject: See now - just whose bright idea was it to rescue them? _________________ Punishment leads to Fear. Fear leads to Obedience. Obedience leads to Freedom. Therefore, Punishment leads to Freedom. Ave Dominus Nox A Fronte Praecipitium a Tergo Lupi Blood Bowl Scraping the Barrel A Tale of Four Swords Passion Back to top Author ethereal_fauna Perpetually Distracted Joined: 16 Feb 2005 Posts: 2567 Location: USA Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Thu Mar 09, 2006 5:03 pm    Post subject: I said just leave 'em. _________________ The maker of a sentence launches out into the infinite and builds a road into Chaos and old Night, and is followed by those who hear him with something of wild, creative delight. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Thu Mar 16, 2006 10:22 pm    Post subject: Quote: *grins* I like the 'Feeling lucky, punk?' Very Pratchettian, Actually, it is a rip off of a famous line from Dirty Harry, or one of Clint's 'cop' films. I seem to remember Prattchy doing something similar, now you mention him. Ah well, he wasn't the first either! Now, having done some fiddling about on my PC, I have decided the motherboard and/or CPU has blown up. As some of my notes are on their and not backed up with my stories onto my little flash disk thing, I will have to work out what the original options were! _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Mon Mar 27, 2006 4:07 am    Post subject: Okay, found my notes. Put down the options, or at least I think they were the options, as well as who is the teamleader for that option. Vote away! _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author ethereal_fauna Perpetually Distracted Joined: 16 Feb 2005 Posts: 2567 Location: USA Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Mon Mar 27, 2006 4:32 am    Post subject: Mod machine...we need to get to the bottom of that quickly. And whatever association these foul fake mods might have with the rising need for patrolling the streets, and the resulting creation of the big ASS. _________________ The maker of a sentence launches out into the infinite and builds a road into Chaos and old Night, and is followed by those who hear him with something of wild, creative delight. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson Back to top Author Solomon Birch Honored Citizen Joined: 22 Nov 2005 Posts: 1562 Location: England..... but Japan beckons..... Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Mon Mar 27, 2006 8:11 am    Post subject: Go after the assassin! All shadowy and mysterious... I like him/her/it already! _________________ "Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9 Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3 The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3 One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3 Green Eyes - Chapter 5 Back to top Author LordoftheNight Revered IFian Joined: 11 Aug 2005 Posts: 5276 Location: Hell Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Mon Mar 27, 2006 2:01 pm    Post subject: Voted, and winning. _________________ Punishment leads to Fear. Fear leads to Obedience. Obedience leads to Freedom. Therefore, Punishment leads to Freedom. Ave Dominus Nox A Fronte Praecipitium a Tergo Lupi Blood Bowl Scraping the Barrel A Tale of Four Swords Passion Back to top Author Ingrothechundyer Guest Items Posted: Tue Mar 28, 2006 4:10 am    Post subject: Looks like a three way tie right now... Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Thu Mar 30, 2006 5:38 pm    Post subject: Well, mod machine seems to be winning. I will give it a couple more days though. Get yer votes in! _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author Sorrow_A Guest Items Posted: Sat Apr 01, 2006 4:00 pm    Post subject: Who voted brothels?! Because LET ME TELL YOU! I voted for mod machine, like any respectable IFian would do. Oh wait a minute, none of us are respectable. Well, in that case, I just voted for mod machine... Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Tue Apr 18, 2006 3:08 am    Post subject: Chapter 9 - Et tu Smee? Smee strode down the street, his wild hair waving in the breeze and his robes billowing around him in what he thought was a suitably awe inspiring site. It probably would have been more impressive if Fauna hadn’t managed to stick a sign on his back saying ‘I have a fat bottom’ but there you go. He wandered along Nob road until he came to his mansion. Various people were outside waving placards. They were divided into two main groups. One waved signs such as: “Smee for Mayor!” and “Up Smee!” and shouted calls of encouragement as he strolled past. The other group, in direct contrast, shouted less pleasant slogans. They had signs as varied as: “Chinaren knows best!” and “Up Smee!” Smee shook his head at their ignorance and made a tutting sound under his breath. Would they never learn? He made a discrete signal with his hand, and several squads of ASS* moved in with stout rods to perform some swift crowd dispersal. Smee nodded as justice was carried out, punctuated with shrieks and screams. One problem dealt with efficiently he thought as he entered his mansion, the dark iron gates opening to let him pass. Large black shapes converged on him before the Hell Hounds recognized their master and slunk away, tails between their legs, in fear. He ignored them and walked through the grounds up to his house. Smee Hall was a large and luxurious mansion, one of the oldest in the city. He smiled to himself as the main door swung open at his gesture. A figure approached, its broken form hobbling along with a peculiar gait. “Master” he rasped. “I see you are beginning to learn who is the boss around here. Good, good. Here is my cloak, have it cleaned and pressed. Did you clean my boots?” “Licked them twice over master” said the wretch. “Very good, a few more weeks and you may have learned enough to enter the Guild.” “Oh thank you master” said Nalloon, squirming on the floor with ecstasy. “Carry on.” Smee dismissed him and walked through his main hall, shoes echoing around the grand walls. ‘Finally” he thought, “it is all coming together. EVIL disbanded, the Mayoral palace around the corner. Soon, he would be in charge, and then there would be changes oh yes!” An evil laugh echoed around the room. > Smee squirmed on the floor as he heard the footsteps approach. The key in the lock turned and door to his cell swung open. Wearing his own best robes in stepped the imposter. “How are you today my dear Smee?” said Smee-imposter. “Comfortable I assume?” “You will never get away with this! Someone will notice and then you will be doomed!” “Oh haha!” Smee two laughed the laugh of super villains everywhere. All that was missing was a white cat. “No one is paying any attention. Chinaren is moping about the old EVIL guildhall muttering to himself. Key is wallowing around in his private Jacuzzi still, when he is not trying on crowns that is, and Flauna is busy running around after that pathetic Apedog. No, no one will notice until it is too late!” He flung his head back and laughed raucously once again. “Now, if you will excuse me, cook has provided me with a most delicious luncheon, and I must pick out the wine to go with it. What do you think goes with Apedog meat?” Smee snarled and tugged at his shackles. He had enough energy to cast maybe one minor spell, but no doubt this shapechanger woud have some sort of wards up. Yet he must act soon! If he was elected Mayor the power of SuperMod would be at the fingers of this fiend. The whole of IF would be at risk! He growled again and though furiously… *Anti Spam Squad. Key’s private guard. >>>>>> A short intro chapter to the next phase then. What can Smee do? Any plans for escape? Let's have your ideas quick! <<<<<< _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author Ingrothechundyer Guest Items Posted: Tue Apr 18, 2006 3:22 am    Post subject: Hmm could he have an apedog race up to the mansion where he is held prisoner with the IFians in pursuit? How bout sending a mesage to tGoGs explaining what happened and requesting help? Back to top Author ethereal_fauna Perpetually Distracted Joined: 16 Feb 2005 Posts: 2567 Location: USA Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Tue Apr 18, 2006 3:32 am    Post subject: Ah curse me and my Thwackabobitus...of course I would be in the Bananalands on safari if I could set aside my thwacker for a moment... *giggles* At least I managed to get a sign on the fake-Smee. Smee ought to send out Smeewaves to the Faun and the orc (tries to sneak OmegaTerra into a story, just so he can groan about it later)...have me continue to place signs on the imposter between Bob thwacks, and set the orc on some mace-wielding rampage through Smee mansion to free the real Smee. Then we need to tackle the mystery behind the fake-mod machine. _________________ The maker of a sentence launches out into the infinite and builds a road into Chaos and old Night, and is followed by those who hear him with something of wild, creative delight. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson Back to top Author Shady Stoat Elder Joined: 02 Oct 2005 Posts: 2950 Location: England Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Tue Apr 18, 2006 3:50 am    Post subject: One small spell, eh? It'd have to be subtle then. I think a slow-acting disease should do it. Smee-itis. Inflammation of the Smee. It begins with a desire to say and type the name 'Smee' all the time. Within hours, the swelling of the Smee occurs. This, of course, works on anyone imitating a Smee - so it should be obvious to all who see this inflated wretch that he needs immediate hospitalisation and medical/magical attention. Then, as soon as he gets under close examination, it should be easy enough to tell that he's an imposter. Swift retribution can be taken. Besides, it gives Chinaren the opportunity to put some new character in a skimpy nurse's outfit. Where's the downside? (apart from Kalanna kicking his bottom when she finds out, that is) Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Tue Apr 18, 2006 3:52 am    Post subject: Quote: apart from Kalanna kicking his bottom when she finds out, that is Best get my leather gear out then! _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author ethereal_fauna Perpetually Distracted Joined: 16 Feb 2005 Posts: 2567 Location: USA Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Tue Apr 18, 2006 4:36 am    Post subject: *giggles* Inflammation of the Smee... Good one Stoat. _________________ The maker of a sentence launches out into the infinite and builds a road into Chaos and old Night, and is followed by those who hear him with something of wild, creative delight. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson Back to top Author Shady Stoat Elder Joined: 02 Oct 2005 Posts: 2950 Location: England Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Tue Apr 18, 2006 4:39 am    Post subject: ethereal_fauna wrote: *giggles* Inflammation of the Smee... Good one Stoat. *sniggers* Yeah - until Chinny decides that OmegaTerra is the one who deserves to be in the skimpy nurse's outfit! Back to top Author ethereal_fauna Perpetually Distracted Joined: 16 Feb 2005 Posts: 2567 Location: USA Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Tue Apr 18, 2006 4:41 am    Post subject: Well there's your down side. Although...come to think of it, I might like it. _________________ The maker of a sentence launches out into the infinite and builds a road into Chaos and old Night, and is followed by those who hear him with something of wild, creative delight. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Tue Apr 18, 2006 5:27 am    Post subject: *rubs hands together in glee at these ideas* _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author LordoftheNight Revered IFian Joined: 11 Aug 2005 Posts: 5276 Location: Hell Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Tue Apr 18, 2006 5:51 am    Post subject: Maybe Phang - she played a nursey type in Mirror of IF well enough. I must say - this Smee imposter sounds a lot like me. Not that I would ever try to take over the City of course. *Curses profoundly and thinks of new campaign for next biannual elections* _________________ Punishment leads to Fear. Fear leads to Obedience. Obedience leads to Freedom. Therefore, Punishment leads to Freedom. Ave Dominus Nox A Fronte Praecipitium a Tergo Lupi Blood Bowl Scraping the Barrel A Tale of Four Swords Passion Back to top Author Solomon Birch Honored Citizen Joined: 22 Nov 2005 Posts: 1562 Location: England..... but Japan beckons..... Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Tue Apr 18, 2006 6:16 am    Post subject: Funny little chapter Mr. Chinaman. I loved the 'Up Smee' banners that worked both ways. Nothing is coming to mind though. I'll listen to other ideas and then if I think of anything I'll come back, but I'm stumped at the moment... _________________ "Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9 Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3 The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3 One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3 Green Eyes - Chapter 5 Back to top Author Smee Revered IFian Joined: 16 Oct 2004 Posts: 5215 Location: UK Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Tue Apr 18, 2006 8:04 am    Post subject: Very funny Chinny Quote: ‘Finally” he thought, “it is all coming together. EVIL disbanded, the Mayoral palace around the corner. Soon, he would be in charge, and then there would be changes oh yes!” Although are you so sure it's an imposter Smee, and how did you find out my plans? One small spell... A light spell - cast out the window (if there is one) - to cast the universal image of the Fat Fairy in the sky (think Batman call sign) should get some help to my mansion quickly. Without a window I'd have to go for a spell to call an Apedog - knowing that the Orc would waste no time in chasing it down. Happy Writing _________________ The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the Devil's own Satanic Herd! Back to top Author ethereal_fauna Perpetually Distracted Joined: 16 Feb 2005 Posts: 2567 Location: USA Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Tue Apr 18, 2006 8:12 am    Post subject: * again* I like that one too. This is going to be a difficult poll to vote in. _________________ The maker of a sentence launches out into the infinite and builds a road into Chaos and old Night, and is followed by those who hear him with something of wild, creative delight. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson Back to top Author Key King Joined: 08 Feb 2004 Posts: 2652 Location: The Royal Palace Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Tue Apr 18, 2006 8:31 am    Post subject: Smee wrote: Without a window I'd have to go for a spell to call an Apedog - knowing that the Orc would waste no time in chasing it down. How about creating the strong scent of bananakibbles - that will get a horde of apedogs coming to your cell, with the thwackers not far behind. Back to top Author OmegaTerra Citizen Joined: 14 Feb 2006 Posts: 120 Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Fri Apr 21, 2006 10:30 am    Post subject: Shady Stoat wrote: *sniggers* Yeah - until Chinny decides that OmegaTerra is the one who deserves to be in the skimpy nurse's outfit! A furry Speedo, maybe? _________________ Good night and good hunting! And the story goes The Orc and The Not so Fat Fat Fairy The Orc says.... The Twisty Stoat says.... Back to top Author The White Blacksmith Elder Joined: 02 Apr 2006 Posts: 2629 Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sat Apr 22, 2006 3:11 am    Post subject: I think I may need to venture out of my lab once so while in the not-so-supermarket I can realize that the tab I put on Smee is telling me he's in Danger. ;-) _________________ Tea Cures All. Back to top Author The White Blacksmith Elder Joined: 02 Apr 2006 Posts: 2629 Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sat Apr 22, 2006 3:13 am    Post subject: By the way, I don't have a crush on Smee- I just don't trust any of you enough to let you out of my sight without a home-made tracker device on you _________________ Tea Cures All. Back to top Author OmegaTerra Citizen Joined: 14 Feb 2006 Posts: 120 Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sat Apr 22, 2006 1:18 pm    Post subject: The White Blacksmith wrote: By the way, I don't have a crush on Smee- Me thinks the lady doth protest too much. _________________ Good night and good hunting! And the story goes The Orc and The Not so Fat Fat Fairy The Orc says.... The Twisty Stoat says.... Back to top Author LordoftheNight Revered IFian Joined: 11 Aug 2005 Posts: 5276 Location: Hell Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sat Apr 22, 2006 4:04 pm    Post subject: Flauna, you've got competition. _________________ Punishment leads to Fear. Fear leads to Obedience. Obedience leads to Freedom. Therefore, Punishment leads to Freedom. Ave Dominus Nox A Fronte Praecipitium a Tergo Lupi Blood Bowl Scraping the Barrel A Tale of Four Swords Passion Back to top Author ethereal_fauna Perpetually Distracted Joined: 16 Feb 2005 Posts: 2567 Location: USA Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sat Apr 22, 2006 4:43 pm    Post subject: I don't have a crush on Smee...you misunderstood. I said I'd crush Smee, with all my fat fairy goodness. _________________ The maker of a sentence launches out into the infinite and builds a road into Chaos and old Night, and is followed by those who hear him with something of wild, creative delight. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sat Apr 22, 2006 8:46 pm    Post subject: Alrighty then. Polls up! _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author Smee Revered IFian Joined: 16 Oct 2004 Posts: 5215 Location: UK Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sun Apr 23, 2006 12:50 am    Post subject: No Batman style FatFairy light in the sky? Or is there no window? _________________ The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the Devil's own Satanic Herd! Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sun Apr 23, 2006 2:19 am    Post subject: Smee wrote: No Batman style FatFairy light in the sky? Or is there no window? No, sorry, no window. _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author Solomon Birch Honored Citizen Joined: 22 Nov 2005 Posts: 1562 Location: England..... but Japan beckons..... Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sun Apr 23, 2006 2:51 am    Post subject: Smeeeeeeeewaves! :biggrin: *holds breath* _________________ "Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9 Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3 The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3 One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3 Green Eyes - Chapter 5 Back to top Author OmegaTerra Citizen Joined: 14 Feb 2006 Posts: 120 Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sun Apr 23, 2006 3:32 am    Post subject: I went with Smeewaves. _________________ Good night and good hunting! And the story goes The Orc and The Not so Fat Fat Fairy The Orc says.... The Twisty Stoat says.... Back to top Author Ingrothechundyer Guest Items Posted: Sun Apr 23, 2006 6:43 am    Post subject: Too many good choices for this one Back to top Author The White Blacksmith Elder Joined: 02 Apr 2006 Posts: 2629 Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sun Apr 23, 2006 8:11 am    Post subject: I still think me and my magic laboratory should come into play soon. You need more non-mods in the story. _________________ Tea Cures All. Back to top Author LordoftheNight Revered IFian Joined: 11 Aug 2005 Posts: 5276 Location: Hell Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sun Apr 23, 2006 9:15 am    Post subject: Well, I went for the smell, because that seems the easiest. _________________ Punishment leads to Fear. Fear leads to Obedience. Obedience leads to Freedom. Therefore, Punishment leads to Freedom. Ave Dominus Nox A Fronte Praecipitium a Tergo Lupi Blood Bowl Scraping the Barrel A Tale of Four Swords Passion Back to top Author The White Blacksmith Elder Joined: 02 Apr 2006 Posts: 2629 Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Tue Apr 25, 2006 9:08 am    Post subject: When does the poll end and when do we get a new chapter? C'mon, China, you've got an impation army of Fans here! _________________ Tea Cures All. Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Tue Apr 25, 2006 4:37 pm    Post subject: Should be along in a day or so. I think it is next on my list. _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author The White Blacksmith Elder Joined: 02 Apr 2006 Posts: 2629 Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Fri Apr 28, 2006 6:15 am    Post subject: In that case, why hasn't it come up yet? huh? HUH!?! :biggrin: _________________ Tea Cures All. Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Fri Apr 28, 2006 6:33 am    Post subject: Sorry, it wasn't quite next on this list, but I have started it! Honest! _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author The White Blacksmith Elder Joined: 02 Apr 2006 Posts: 2629 Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sun Apr 30, 2006 3:49 am    Post subject: When you said not quite, did you mean last? Of course we believe you on this. Why would we ever doubt you? *breaks into a fit of coughing*hem-hem _________________ Tea Cures All. Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Thu May 04, 2006 4:29 pm    Post subject: Chapter 10. Free Smee. Chapter 10 – Free Smee! “Right, I think I will be off, just popped by to gloat. Oh hello Poopkins.” The imposter picked a Chihuahua up as it scuttled in. Smee, the real one, scowled. “I will get you,” he said, “And your little dog too.” The imposter simply laughed, and exited the cell, stroking Poopkins. Smee thought for a moment. Maybe Flauna was chasing the apedog, but just lately she had become a little bored with the hunt, saying it had become too easy. If he put forth enough Smeewaves then he should be able to reach her. He concentrated. He really needed someone to do the Magic Dance of Summoning, but there was no one but himself in the cell, and he was shackled* to the wall. #Fauna! Orc!! Can you hear me? It’s Smee, I am being held prisoner in my own mansion! There’s an imposter that looks just like me…# His power ran out and he slumped back against the wall, exhausted. “Just have to hope it was enough” he muttered to himself. > Flauna was sitting in Jester park, eating daisies and trying to make a cream cake chain** when the Smeewaves struck. She fell off the toadstool she had been sitting on with a thump, cakes scattered around her. “Smee?” she said, sitting up and spitting out flowers. “Mansion? Prisoner?” She stood up, a little wobbly. “Nobody abuses Smee except me! And maybe, the other council members. But mainly me!” She looked around. “Where is that Orc of mine? I really need to get a leash. Never around when I need him. Oh well.” Chewing on one last daisy, she jumped up and launched herself, a little erratically, into the air. Flying out of Jester Park the fairy wobbled through the air into the Council district, heading towards Smee’s mansion. Something distracted her and the next thing she knew she had landed in a pile of dirt. “Oi!” said the dirt, “watch where you are going will you?” Flauna sat up, brushing herself down as she did so. “Sorry Solomon, didn’t see you there.” “Mmf, well. As it is you I suppose that is okay” the Soily one replied. “You haven’t see my Orc have you?” asked Fauna. “I think he went towards Skiffyville, something about an Apedog sighting.” “Bah, typical, always running off playing when work needs to be done.” “Is there anything wrong?” asked Soily. “I am a Council member now remember.” He drew himself up to his full soily height. “And that makes you trustworthy does it?” muttered Fauna. She paused then heaved a deep sigh. “Oh, well, no-one else seems to be around. You will do I suppose.” She launched herself into the air again and hovered around Solomon’s head, making him dizzy. “What’s the problem then? IM run off again? Chinaren started some outrageous new scandal?” “No, it is more serious than that” said the fat fairy. She glanced around and drew closer. “We think there is some dastardly plot against the city!” “No!” said Soily, looking shocked. Or possibly not, it was difficult to tell under the dirt. “Yes. Chinaren has gone off with some of the others to check out the Idearium mines. Stoat is going, well, you don’t want to know really, and I am going to go to the Bananalands, just as soon as I get around to it. The whole council had a meeting about it.” “So where were you going in such a hurry?” “I just caught a Smeewave, I think he is in trouble.” “Really?” said Soily. “I saw him not long ago, he looked fine. In fact, he should be at the Mayoral presentation in a little while.” “Well, something is amiss. Come on, we are going to go and take a peek in his mansion while he is out then.” Flauna started flying off down the road. “How are we going to get in?” asked Soily, trundling along and trying to keep up. “Well, I can fly in, I know the frequency of his wards, and I have a small amulet that can nullify them. You, though… Mmmm.” “Those Hellhounds are nasty brutes! I don’t fancy getting bitten by one of them.” “But they would leave you alone after one bite of soil surely?” asked Fauna. “Well, maybe so, but the point is they would have taken a bite, see?” “Okay. Tell you what. We will sneak around the back and climb over the fence. Then I will distract the hounds long enough for you to sneak into the house.” “I don’t know…” said Solomon. “It will be fine. Come on, we are nearly there. Down Plum Pudding lane.” They moved swiftly down the small road and then cut across the field behind Smee Mansion. They arrived at the large Iron fence panting. “Phew, I need more healthy cakes to keep me in shape,” said Fauna. “That Stoat always eats them before I can get to them. I don’t know how she does it.” “Okay, here looks like a good spot” said Soily, pointing to a small tree that afforded a launching point across the fence. He heaved himself up and, after only falling off twice, managed to get into a position where he could leap into the grounds. “Are you sure I can’t just share your talisman?” he grunted, eyeing the drop, which look a lot higher now he was in the tree. “Don’t be silly.” Said Fauna, fluttering about. “Okay, when you see them chase me make a break for it!” “Hurry!” said Soily. “I am not sure how long I can hang on!” The fairy nodded and zoomed over the fence. “Heeeere doggy doggy doggy! Here nice Hell hound! Where aaaareee you?” Within moments three slavering beasts ran into view, red eyes glowing and drool dripping from their fangs. Fauna, really wishing she had eaten more cakes, swooped infront of them and then zig zagged away around the house, the hounds following and growling loudly. Soily breathed deeply and then made a leap for it, landing in a crumpled heap on the ground. Wasting no time he staggered to his feet and lurched towards the house. Fauna flew over an ornamental pond near the front of the mansion, the hounds in hot pursuit, and then alighted on a tree branch, panting hard. The hellhounds clustered around the trunk and sat there slavering and looking up. Fauna looked back, judging distances. “That should be about enough time” she said, and activated her talisman. Immediately the dogs lost interest, wandering away. Fauna watched them go, just to be sure, and then fluttered over to the back of the mansion. Following the soily footprints she traced Solomon to an open window, which he was busy climbing through. “Nice work!” he said, falling on to a priceless antique AHA rug on the other side, ruining it for good. He looked around. “Where are we?” “Seems to be Smee’s study. I have never been in here.” She landed on the large wooden desk, which was spread with various files and papers. She studied one. “Mmm. Do you know the Fantasy Guild is built on an ancient burial ground?” “Really? That would explain all those noises late at night from the spare rooms” said Soily. “Ahh, yes. Yes. That must be it.” “Come on, we need to look around.” “Mmmm?” replied Fauna, looking at clandestine pictures of Stoat who had been caught in some compromising positions with a large pencil-like figure. She looked up. “Oh, yes. Of course.” Pocketing one of the smaller pictures, which she thought may come in useful one day, she followed Solomon out of the door. They snuck down the corridor, tiptoeing past the sleeping figure of Ninja Balloon, curled up in a cardboard box in the corner and muttering ‘Guild…must join guild,” in his sleep. “Where now?” whispered Solomon as they reached a junction. Fauna wrinkled her forehead in concentration. “This way, down here” she said, pointing down some stairs. They quietly descended until they arrived at a small corridor filled with strong metal doors. “Are these cells?” asked Solomon. “Oh yes, most Council members have them. When your mansion is ready I am sure you will understand.” “Um.” Said Solomon doubtfully. They knocked on the only locked door they could find. “Smee? Are you in there? It’s Fauna and Solomon.” “Thank god! Get me out of here” came the distinctive voice. Solomon located the release lever and pulled it, swinging the door open to reveal a disheveled Smee chained to the wall. Fauna flew in with a key she had found conveniently hung on the wall nearby and a few minutes later Smee was standing free, rubbing his wrist. “We need to get to the Mayoral mansion before ‘I’ am sworn in as Mayor!” he said. “Oh, that’s happened already” said Solomon. Smee staggered back in dramatic shock, which the others ignored. Feeling a bit put out he looked around. “In that case the imposter is sitting behind the Mayors desk! We have to get in and stop him!” “But he will have full Mayoral powers by now! How will we deafeat such power? Kinky is on a state visit to OF, and won’t be back until tomorrow.” They all thought about the problem, except Fauna, who was wondering where the Apedog was… *It may occur to you to wonder why Smee has a cell with shackles in his mansion. I am sure he has a good reason. I know I do… er, I mean. Look, just get on with the story and stop reading the footnotes. **She had been sitting in the sun drinking alcofrol most of the morning. >>>>>> Okay then, finally finished it! Happy now? How will they get to the imposter Smee, enclosed in the Mayoral Mansion and defeat him with his Mayoral powers? Ideas please! <<<<<< _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Last edited by Chinaren on Fri May 05, 2006 5:01 am; edited 2 times in total Back to top Author LordoftheNight Revered IFian Joined: 11 Aug 2005 Posts: 5276 Location: Hell Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Thu May 04, 2006 4:53 pm    Post subject: Prehaps the combined power of all availible Council members will be enough to overwhelm him, forcing him to use to much of his time dealing with their misdeeds? _________________ Punishment leads to Fear. Fear leads to Obedience. Obedience leads to Freedom. Therefore, Punishment leads to Freedom. Ave Dominus Nox A Fronte Praecipitium a Tergo Lupi Blood Bowl Scraping the Barrel A Tale of Four Swords Passion Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Thu May 04, 2006 4:55 pm    Post subject: But remember, most of the other council members are off doing their own tasks. I know the timeline is a little messed up here, but what can you do? _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author LordoftheNight Revered IFian Joined: 11 Aug 2005 Posts: 5276 Location: Hell Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Thu May 04, 2006 5:10 pm    Post subject: There must be some who aren't busy... *searches for idle council members* _________________ Punishment leads to Fear. Fear leads to Obedience. Obedience leads to Freedom. Therefore, Punishment leads to Freedom. Ave Dominus Nox A Fronte Praecipitium a Tergo Lupi Blood Bowl Scraping the Barrel A Tale of Four Swords Passion Back to top Author Smee Revered IFian Joined: 16 Oct 2004 Posts: 5215 Location: UK Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Thu May 04, 2006 9:49 pm    Post subject: Good chapter Chinny We have a newly promoted Demon wandering around - I'm sure he can be drafted in. One thing that doesn't work is invisibility - the Mayoral contact lenses would have been fitted by now and they'll be no sneaking up on imposter Smee. I say we need to bombard him with admin duties. Get all the most prolific writers churning out chapters. Get all the spare council members to petition him with any ideas they can. Get all the newbies to demand guild entrance. Open a breach in the Great Registration wall and let a few spammers in. And if we can get him to make a new forum for a SGoTM winner then he'll be distracted for hours looking for ways of uploading the picture, turning on fables and remembering to give the new Builder the correct usertitle Then just bop him on the head Happy Writing _________________ The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the Devil's own Satanic Herd! Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Thu May 04, 2006 10:05 pm    Post subject: Quote: Then just bop him on the head LOL! _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author Shady Stoat Elder Joined: 02 Oct 2005 Posts: 2950 Location: England Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Thu May 04, 2006 10:50 pm    Post subject: I like Smee's suggestion. However, since I hate agreeing with anyone, here's another way to go: Don't let on that the real Smee is escaped. Put him back in easily escapable chains and let life continue as normal. Work on Nallon. Offer him a better deal than he's going to be getting from the fake Smee. Maybe even offer him... *gulp*... guild membership, if he helps out the real Smee. All he has to do to get it is incapacitate the fake Mayor while he sleeps... Back to top Author Muaddib Comrade Joined: 31 Dec 2004 Posts: 1765 Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Thu May 04, 2006 11:18 pm    Post subject: Quote: Prehaps the combined power of all availible Council members will be enough to overwhelm him, forcing him to use to much of his time dealing with their misdeeds? One of us fell to his alleged death remember, saving his almighty smarminess. I like Smee's idea. OR we could send Mordok in. The impostor would be surprised at either who the new fellow is or get caught up in greeting him. Then the real Smee could enter all guns blazing? Back to top Author Key King Joined: 08 Feb 2004 Posts: 2652 Location: The Royal Palace Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Fri May 05, 2006 10:37 am    Post subject: That's it, we send in Mordok! He still has the keys to the City Council Chambers, but he's been gone so long he hasn't figured in the imposter's plans. He'd be the perfect person to whack the Mayor on the head. I also like Smee's ideas of distracting the new Mayor. Back to top Author Solomon Birch Honored Citizen Joined: 22 Nov 2005 Posts: 1562 Location: England..... but Japan beckons..... Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Fri May 05, 2006 11:46 am    Post subject: SLIME! Good chapter China, and thanks for making me a featured character! I feel so loved! *melts* I like the idea of bopping, but we have to get up close to do that. Maybe if we lock the real Smee back up, loosely, and then go to the mayoral inaugriation, then get close, and wait til he's sleeping and then bop. And bop hard! Harder than we have ever bopped before! :biggrin: *holds breath* _________________ "Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9 Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3 The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3 One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3 Green Eyes - Chapter 5 Back to top Author ethereal_fauna Perpetually Distracted Joined: 16 Feb 2005 Posts: 2567 Location: USA Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Fri May 05, 2006 1:04 pm    Post subject: I like the Mordok idea, and maybe even pair him up with Reiso and Shanty, our two retired moderators (I can't think of any more that have retired) and they can catch him by surprise. And do the already mentioned bopping on the head. _________________ The maker of a sentence launches out into the infinite and builds a road into Chaos and old Night, and is followed by those who hear him with something of wild, creative delight. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Fri May 05, 2006 3:44 pm    Post subject: Mmm. Head bopping seems to be the popular choice. I will get a new poll up once I have PMd Smee and he has eliminated the old one. Unless we can do in ourselves now? *Goes to check* _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author The White Blacksmith Elder Joined: 02 Apr 2006 Posts: 2629 Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Fri May 05, 2006 11:37 pm    Post subject: When am I coming in? I need to test out my new machines, and it's safer (and less costly) for me to do it on someone elses forum. That way I don't get the bill for damages. Or I could just join in the petitioning of Smee, saying that the mayor always has to test out one of my inventions. It says in the Inventor's Clause of the Ifian law Book, sub-section HRHHJE, paragraph 4768792, as part of the InterFablicic rules version 2.877349.And you have to get those details right. Or maybe you could get them wrong and he'll spend so much time looking for it we'll have plenty of time to bop him on the head. _________________ Tea Cures All. Back to top Author OmegaTerra Citizen Joined: 14 Feb 2006 Posts: 120 Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sat May 06, 2006 4:36 am    Post subject: chinaren wrote: Mmm. Head bopping seems to be the popular choice. I will get a new poll up once I have PMd Smee and he has eliminated the old one. Unless we can do in ourselves now? *Goes to check* I volunteer to "bop" the fake Mayor on the head, heck I'll volunteer to "bop" them both on the head for good measure. Then you can sort them out later. _________________ Good night and good hunting! And the story goes The Orc and The Not so Fat Fat Fairy The Orc says.... The Twisty Stoat says.... Back to top Author ethereal_fauna Perpetually Distracted Joined: 16 Feb 2005 Posts: 2567 Location: USA Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sat May 06, 2006 6:37 am    Post subject: Such a concerned, civic minded orc. _________________ The maker of a sentence launches out into the infinite and builds a road into Chaos and old Night, and is followed by those who hear him with something of wild, creative delight. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson Back to top Author Smee Revered IFian Joined: 16 Oct 2004 Posts: 5215 Location: UK Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sat May 06, 2006 9:20 am    Post subject: *points* ooh look, it's the apedog. *runs away from the orc* _________________ The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the Devil's own Satanic Herd! Back to top Author OmegaTerra Citizen Joined: 14 Feb 2006 Posts: 120 Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sat May 06, 2006 6:05 pm    Post subject: *Drops Freezing Trap thwacks the apedog, grins inanely at the Smeecicle.* _________________ Good night and good hunting! And the story goes The Orc and The Not so Fat Fat Fairy The Orc says.... The Twisty Stoat says.... Back to top Author The White Blacksmith Elder Joined: 02 Apr 2006 Posts: 2629 Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Mon May 08, 2006 8:37 am    Post subject: *wanders across the Icicle and, so it won't look like she did it, traps herself in a bubble of ice* _________________ Tea Cures All. Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Mon May 08, 2006 3:50 pm    Post subject: This isn't Traditional Roleplaying you two. Keep it (at least vaguely) on topic please! _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author OmegaTerra Citizen Joined: 14 Feb 2006 Posts: 120 Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Mon May 08, 2006 4:03 pm    Post subject: chinaren wrote: But remember, most of the other council members are off doing their own tasks. I know the timeline is a little messed up here, but what can you do? I was showing what I could do. To eliminate the fake Smee. _________________ Good night and good hunting! And the story goes The Orc and The Not so Fat Fat Fairy The Orc says.... The Twisty Stoat says.... Back to top Author The White Blacksmith Elder Joined: 02 Apr 2006 Posts: 2629 Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Tue May 09, 2006 7:49 am    Post subject: And I was trying not to get caught for what Omega did. *Shakes fist angrilly at the tree where the cackling is coming from* I'll get you... _________________ Tea Cures All. Back to top Author The Meaning Of Fear Respected Citizen Joined: 06 May 2006 Posts: 980 Location: In a deep, dark corner of the universe, plotting. Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Fri May 12, 2006 3:55 pm    Post subject: kool! mayb you can start featuring some non mods in the story.(preferably myself ) cant wait for new chappy _________________ Cherish all your memories, even the bad ones, for they are what makes you who you are. Doors to the truth, an SG where a boy is propelled into worlds he is unfamiliar with. He crosses many worlds, and sees many things that force him to throw away his innocence, once, and for all. Fourth Chapter, out for viewing! Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Fri May 12, 2006 8:05 pm    Post subject: Right. Poll is up! Get voting you lot, and we can get this fake Smee out of the way and return to the Mod machine hunt. _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author The Meaning Of Fear Respected Citizen Joined: 06 May 2006 Posts: 980 Location: In a deep, dark corner of the universe, plotting. Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Fri May 12, 2006 11:41 pm    Post subject: TIED!!! I just love to see people getting angus just over poll ties.... COME ON PEOPLE ARGUE! _________________ Cherish all your memories, even the bad ones, for they are what makes you who you are. Doors to the truth, an SG where a boy is propelled into worlds he is unfamiliar with. He crosses many worlds, and sees many things that force him to throw away his innocence, once, and for all. Fourth Chapter, out for viewing! Back to top Author The White Blacksmith Elder Joined: 02 Apr 2006 Posts: 2629 Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sat May 13, 2006 1:07 am    Post subject: Voted! but I broke the tie... Hey Fear, d'you reckon we should startfollowing Chinaren round everywhere, lobbying to be in the story. As I said in an earlir post, you need more non-mods inthere. _________________ Tea Cures All. Back to top Author The Meaning Of Fear Respected Citizen Joined: 06 May 2006 Posts: 980 Location: In a deep, dark corner of the universe, plotting. Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sat May 13, 2006 1:27 am    Post subject: I agree! lets annoy him until we get a spot......even being dum stuff like key's/lordy's evil twin bro or something would be cool! you shouldve voted for something that hasnt got any...that way itll be 3 way! _________________ Cherish all your memories, even the bad ones, for they are what makes you who you are. Doors to the truth, an SG where a boy is propelled into worlds he is unfamiliar with. He crosses many worlds, and sees many things that force him to throw away his innocence, once, and for all. Fourth Chapter, out for viewing! Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sat May 13, 2006 2:02 am    Post subject: The White Blacksmith wrote: Hey Fear, d'you reckon we should startfollowing Chinaren round everywhere, lobbying to be in the story. As I said in an earlir post, you need more non-mods inthere. Well, he's not off to a good start, voting against Narg in the IFYs! _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author Lordy Citizen Joined: 18 Apr 2006 Posts: 116 Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sat May 13, 2006 3:59 am    Post subject: Quote: lordy's evil twin Excuse me? Lordy doesn't have an evil twin brother - just think about it. A good angelic brother prehaps, but an evil brother would most likely have destroyed IF by now, and that would never be good. Back to top Author LordoftheNight Revered IFian Joined: 11 Aug 2005 Posts: 5276 Location: Hell Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sat May 13, 2006 2:17 pm    Post subject: Overwhelm him with council members and mayorial duties - do them both! Or maybe not, but still... _________________ Punishment leads to Fear. Fear leads to Obedience. Obedience leads to Freedom. Therefore, Punishment leads to Freedom. Ave Dominus Nox A Fronte Praecipitium a Tergo Lupi Blood Bowl Scraping the Barrel A Tale of Four Swords Passion Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sat May 13, 2006 4:13 pm    Post subject: Well, I suppose I could combine them a little bit. Well, we will see how it goes, but it looks fairly one sided so far! _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author The Meaning Of Fear Respected Citizen Joined: 06 May 2006 Posts: 980 Location: In a deep, dark corner of the universe, plotting. Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sat May 13, 2006 5:36 pm    Post subject: noooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!! only 2 votes......booo!!hiss!!!!!!! eeeeek.....so i didnt vote for narg. What are you going to do? stuff ape dog poo in my mouth? Ummmm.....NOT WHAT I MEANT! _________________ Cherish all your memories, even the bad ones, for they are what makes you who you are. Doors to the truth, an SG where a boy is propelled into worlds he is unfamiliar with. He crosses many worlds, and sees many things that force him to throw away his innocence, once, and for all. Fourth Chapter, out for viewing! Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sat May 13, 2006 5:43 pm    Post subject: Quote: What are you going to do? stuff ape dog poo in my mouth? That will do for a start I suppose. I can think of the nasty stuff later. _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author The Meaning Of Fear Respected Citizen Joined: 06 May 2006 Posts: 980 Location: In a deep, dark corner of the universe, plotting. Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sat May 13, 2006 6:03 pm    Post subject: OMG! *a few minutes after chinaren stuffed poo in my mouth* *swallows* hey this aint so bad! tastes like mushy chicken! _________________ Cherish all your memories, even the bad ones, for they are what makes you who you are. Doors to the truth, an SG where a boy is propelled into worlds he is unfamiliar with. He crosses many worlds, and sees many things that force him to throw away his innocence, once, and for all. Fourth Chapter, out for viewing! Back to top Author OmegaTerra Citizen Joined: 14 Feb 2006 Posts: 120 Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sun May 14, 2006 6:47 pm    Post subject: Voted for the Orc. :biggrin: _________________ Good night and good hunting! And the story goes The Orc and The Not so Fat Fat Fairy The Orc says.... The Twisty Stoat says.... Back to top Author The White Blacksmith Elder Joined: 02 Apr 2006 Posts: 2629 Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Mon May 15, 2006 8:13 am    Post subject: I can't believe you ATE that! *takes a drink from her apedog poo and blood smoothie* WHAT? _________________ Tea Cures All. Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Wed May 17, 2006 5:45 am    Post subject: Looks like we have a winner, so I will get working on the next chapter very soon. As long as RL allows. *Shakes fist* _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author Idea master Magus Extraordinaire Joined: 10 May 2004 Posts: 1787 Location: Sneaking Idearium into your beverages. Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Wed May 17, 2006 1:06 pm    Post subject: *Starts singing in the fashion of Nightmare before Christmas* Kill Mr. fake old mayor, bop him on the head, lock him in a metal box, and wait until he's dead! Kidnap Mr. fake old mayor, expose that he is false, put him in a little room, and then see if he talks! _________________ ...So I've been summoned back from beyond the veil. ...No plans yet. Back to top Author The Meaning Of Fear Respected Citizen Joined: 06 May 2006 Posts: 980 Location: In a deep, dark corner of the universe, plotting. Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Thu May 18, 2006 12:26 am    Post subject: nice song/poem IM... looking foward to next chapter... ~holds breath~ _________________ Cherish all your memories, even the bad ones, for they are what makes you who you are. Doors to the truth, an SG where a boy is propelled into worlds he is unfamiliar with. He crosses many worlds, and sees many things that force him to throw away his innocence, once, and for all. Fourth Chapter, out for viewing! Back to top Author The White Blacksmith Elder Joined: 02 Apr 2006 Posts: 2629 Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sat May 20, 2006 11:44 pm    Post subject: Hey Meany, I would really stop holding your breath. If Soily comes in he's gonna get really mad. He has a patent on it. So, just to annoy him, here goes: *holds breath* _________________ Tea Cures All. Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Mon May 22, 2006 4:20 am    Post subject: Chapter 11 &#8211; Woe is Smee! Chapter 11 – Woe is Smee! The Shapeshifter currently taking the form of Smee leaned back on the Mayoral chair, made from the skin of various enemies of Key. It was soft and silky to the touch, though it sagged a little in the middle where Key’s ample form had created a hollow. Still, nothing that a cushion couldn’t fix. Smee2 swiveled around once more and then paid more attention to the desk in front of him. The wood was shiny and smooth, and he stroked it lovingly. At this very desk he could plot the downfall of IF for his master! The rewards would be… delightful. Smee2 threw his head back and laughed. “Someone is in a good mood” said a voice. Smee2 looked up. No one was there. “Hey, I am here!” He leaned over the desk and peered down to see the diminutive form of the Fat Fairy standing on the carpet. As he watched she launched herself with a grunt into the air, landing with a thump on the desk a moment later. “Fauna” Smee2 forced a friendly grin onto his face. She would be the first to go, once he had conslidated his position. For now though, he needed to play along. “What a happy surprise! I have only just sat down in the Mayor’s seat and my delightful best chum is here to help me celebrate. Let’s see, I am sure Key must have left some Alcofrol somewhere about here.” He stared to look around the desk. “Well, that’s nice of you, but I am here to petition you in your official Mayoral capacity.” Smee2 rearranged his face carefully into a look of concern and leaned forward. “Of course. How can I be of service to our beloved Fauna?” “It’s that darned Stoat! I agreed to vote for you as long as you made sure the cream cakes came to me first! Well, I have lived up to my side of the bargain! What are you going to do about this?” She sat down on an empty ink-pot. Smee2 opened his mouth to answer. “Hello? Anyone here?” came another voice before he could speak. “Hello Soily” said Fauna from the desk as the brown mound shambled forward. “Mr Solomon” said Smee2, trying his best not to look at the mess left behind on the carpet. After Fauna, a nice heavy shower… “How nice to see you, I hope you are settling into the, er, your new forum nicely?” “Going well thank-you Mr.Mayor!” Smiled the dirt mound, slumping into a chair, making Smee2 wince. “Is this just a social call Mr. Solomon? I am rather busy as you can see,” he gestured around at the office in the hope Solomon would take a hint. “Actually, it’s about the Skiffy guild” replied the mound. “The…?” “You know, we said we would start a new Skiffy guild, and I am going to need a new Hidden Forum.” “Oh yes, yes of course…” Started Smee2. “After you have dealt with my little complaint first of course” interrupted Fauna. “Now, well yes…” Smee2 said. “Smee! There you are! I need an urgent word with you!” “Hey Lordy! How’s it going? Take a seat.” Solomon pulled over another seat, staining the covering beyond repair. “Yes, it’s lovely to see you Lord of the Night” Smee2 said, “However…” “I want to complain about Ravenwing!” Lordy shouted, cutting him off. “She has been laughing at my alter ego again, and it is most upsetting!” “Your alter ego?” Smee2 said. “You know…” Suddenly there was a cute fluffy doll standing on the spot where the demon was a moment ago. “This one! You know how sensitive I am about it” the doll continued in a squeaky voice. Solomon sniggered. “Ahh! How cute!” “Don’t you start!” the doll replied, shaking a tiny fist. “Now, I am sure you are quite up to handling…” Smee began. “I am afraid that Smee is helping me first” said Fauna. “After the new Skiffy project! City business must take precedence you know!” Soily retorted. “I was here first” Fauna stood up and pointed a finger at Soily. “Please everyone, I am sure…” “So, what are you going to do about it?” said Lordy. “What? Oh well, as I was saying…” Smee2 attempted to speak, half standing out of his chair. “There he is! Look at him!” The doors banged open and the scaly figure of Rai barged in. “Mr. Mayor! You simply must take that Demon in hand! He has been EVIL again and you know how that upsets me! You wouldn’t want an upset dragon now would you?” Smee slumped back on his seat. “I am sure…” “You will have to wait your turn, Mr. Mayor is dealing with my problem! Aren’t you Smee?” said Lordy, batting his button eyes cutely. “I…” “Not until he has helped me secure those items from that darned Stoat.” “The…” “No no! A new guild is priority!” Smee2’s head swiveled, trying to keep up with the conversation. “Ah, it’s a meeting!” The door swung open again to introduce a large Orc into the tale. “Smee! I need to ask you about the sound in my storygames! What do you think…” “Well…” “There you are! Now you are here you can back me up about those deliveries,” Fauna stood up. “Are you still on about those cakes? That can wait, what do you say Smee?” said Omega Terra, striding up and standing next to the desk. “It’s…” “Now just wait your turn Orc! I happen to be on Mod business here, your little sound problems must come after…” Soily shook a hand, shedding mould. “They are important for the future of the city! Right Smee?” The Orc moved a little closer. “Surely…” “Hello there! Am I intruding? Just wanted to ask The Mayor something, couldn’t find Ingro.” An imposing figure in orange wizard’s robes strode in. “He is going to listen to me” snarled Rai, smoke curling up. Smee2 put his head in his hands. “Yes, don’t worry Rai, I am sure I can deal with your problem. Now, what is it Ravagerrr?” he asked, trying to regain control of the conversation. “Just wanted to know when Story Game of the Month was starting. It’s late…” “Well, Ingro…” the Mayor started. “Smee is busy with my request” said Soily, “Mod business you know. Here, I even have the paperwork for you.” He slapped down a complex looking form on the desk. “Well, here is my official complaint document!” said Lordy, back in his demon form. He put a piece of paper over Soily’s. “Now you two! I am first in line, and I have been Mod longer than you Soily!” Fauna stood on the two pieces of paper. “Mr. Mayor! Smee! Can I be in the Fantasy Guild yet? I have been eversogood!” Nalloon peeked over the edge of the desk. Smee2 looked at him. “How did you get…” There was a ‘bop’ sound and everything went black. > “…hit him too hard.” Smee2 opened his eyes. A circle of faces were above him, including, he noted, the real Smee. “He is coming around! I told you I bopped him properly!” said the Orc. “Who are you? What do you want?” the real Smee said. Smee2 grinned, a wider grin than really possible with Smee’s real face. “You may have stopped me here, but my master has other irons in the fire! You will never beat him!” “Look! What’s happening?” “Quick! Stop him!” “He is changing shape! Cast a spell!” “I left mine in the other robe!” “A fireball!” “NO! Not in my new office!” “Catch him! Hold him down!” “I am trying! He is slippery! He is some sort of goo!” “Stamp on him! Orc, get him! Look out, he is sliding away down the cracks!” “Stand back! I will cast a freeze spell.” “Wait! I’ve got him!” “That’s me! Let go!” “Sorry Soily!” “Quick, Lordy, start the Dance of Freezing!” “Which one is that again?” “Hurry! He is getting away!” “You know! I taught you last week!” “I can’t hold him! He’s too slippery!” “You never did? Did he Soily?” “I can’t remember, is that the one that goes ‘oompedy doomety’?” “Urg! He is disgusting!” “No no! That’s the dance of Marshmallows!” “I am sure it was the dance of freezing.” “You guys.” “No, no, the dance of freezing goes Dumpity dumm…” “Guys!” “I was sure it was oompedy…” “GUYS!” Shouted Fauna. “What?” Said Smee, finger still raised at Lordy. “He’s gone.” “Who? Oh, the imposter. Damn.” Smee remembered why he was going to cast the spell. “Well, never mind. I am sure he will turn up again. I will get him next time, assuming Lordy can remember a simple Spell Dance that is.” “Hey! That’s not fair!” “So,” said Smee. “As you helped him get away you two can help me look for the Mod machine.” “Mod machine?” said Soily and Lordy together. “Yes. A fiendish machine that will allow anyone to have mod status, even lowly Nalloon here.” Smee gestured at the figure near his desk. “Hey!” “So then. Where should we start looking for this ‘ere machine?” asked Lordy. “A good question” Smee rubbed his chin. “Hey! Soily! Careful with that chair!” >>>>>> So, the imposter has been chased away and Smee is back in control, well, as much as is possible in IF anyway, and he can finally begin his search for the Mod machine, with Soily and Lordy helping him. Where should he begin the search? <<<<<< _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author Lordy Citizen Joined: 18 Apr 2006 Posts: 116 Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Mon May 22, 2006 4:31 am    Post subject: Maybe try Smee's mansion, it's possible the mod machine was a tool of the false Smee. Back to top Author Shady Stoat Elder Joined: 02 Oct 2005 Posts: 2950 Location: England Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Mon May 22, 2006 5:45 am    Post subject: For me, there's only one place the mod-machine can be. It's a black-market device. It has to be in the Market Bizarre. Then the people who are trying to destroy IF can also drain its economy by making everyone pay to become Moderators! I'll bet that Zogby's been luring people into her/his(?) tent and making them mods in return for the silver fables crossing its gender-unspecific palm. Bad Zogby! Back to top Author Idea master Magus Extraordinaire Joined: 10 May 2004 Posts: 1787 Location: Sneaking Idearium into your beverages. Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Mon May 22, 2006 9:35 am    Post subject: No no no, that's not good enough! Don't you see, that while we've been talking and discussing on how to get rid of the Fake Smee, Chinaren Inc. has obtained the device and is currently analyzing it? Alas, when they are done, they'll be handing out Badges of Moderation, and the City will collapse! There is only one way to stop this... We must find the self-destruct button in the factory and blow it halfway to hell! This will require stealth, cunning, and many cool spy devices, for the button is on the underside of Chinaren's desk, surrounded by many guards and redundant guardian computer systems. It will also require speed, as the device does not set a very long timer for escaping once pushed. Alas, if only there was a simpler way... _________________ ...So I've been summoned back from beyond the veil. ...No plans yet. Last edited by Idea master on Mon May 22, 2006 8:31 pm; edited 1 time in total Back to top Author Key King Joined: 08 Feb 2004 Posts: 2652 Location: The Royal Palace Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Mon May 22, 2006 8:05 pm    Post subject: If I were an evil genius intent on destroying the City, I'd take the mod machine to the registration wall, and mod the evil spammers waiting outside Good thing I'm not. But let's check the registration wall just in case that's their idea too. Back to top Author Smee Revered IFian Joined: 16 Oct 2004 Posts: 5215 Location: UK Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Mon May 22, 2006 9:28 pm    Post subject: Hilarious chapter Chinny Clearly Smee2 would want it somewhere safe where he had complete power. As fake mayor and fake smee then the Fantasy Forest was the ideal place to hide it. Some dark cave, or some hidden clearing idea for a battle or picnic. Then he could mod'ify' any and all the random monsters and creatures that frequent and live in the forest to the doom of the city _________________ The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the Devil's own Satanic Herd! Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Tue May 23, 2006 1:54 am    Post subject: Forest of Doom. Mmmm. Like it. _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author Solomon Birch Honored Citizen Joined: 22 Nov 2005 Posts: 1562 Location: England..... but Japan beckons..... Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Tue May 23, 2006 1:59 am    Post subject: What he needs is, what, needs.... is. Tree. Yes. Fantasy tree. F5 Esme. _________________ "Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9 Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3 The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3 One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3 Green Eyes - Chapter 5 Back to top Author LordoftheNight Revered IFian Joined: 11 Aug 2005 Posts: 5276 Location: Hell Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Tue May 23, 2006 4:50 am    Post subject: But we don't know that is was Smee2, so we're probably going in the wrong direction. Maybe we should send spies to OF, as it must be their dasterly plans for invansion that have led to the development for the mod machine. _________________ Punishment leads to Fear. Fear leads to Obedience. Obedience leads to Freedom. Therefore, Punishment leads to Freedom. Ave Dominus Nox A Fronte Praecipitium a Tergo Lupi Blood Bowl Scraping the Barrel A Tale of Four Swords Passion Back to top Author The White Blacksmith Elder Joined: 02 Apr 2006 Posts: 2629 Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Tue May 23, 2006 8:51 am    Post subject: How about we just read the last chapters and go to the mines. I think that the machine in there was the mod machine- taking faceless Ifians and cloning them into mods... And when am I coming in? _________________ Tea Cures All. Back to top Author ninja baloon Guest Items Posted: Tue May 23, 2006 9:26 am    Post subject: So funny! However I seem to be a bit of a bully victim. I suppose I haven't been here long enough and posted enough to gain respect in the forums. I have time yet! Back to top Author The White Blacksmith Elder Joined: 02 Apr 2006 Posts: 2629 Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Tue May 23, 2006 9:49 am    Post subject: You've posted more than me. But then I'm not a bully victim because he won't let me into the story. _________________ Tea Cures All. Back to top Author ninja baloon Guest Items Posted: Tue May 23, 2006 9:58 am    Post subject: If you keep whinging he would probably give you a part entailing your whinging to get in. I asked multiple times to get in the fantasy guild and look how it turned out there. I know this is a bit cheeky me saying this but be patient you'll get in. I didn't even ask this is my first time reading this and I'm there. Back to top Author The White Blacksmith Elder Joined: 02 Apr 2006 Posts: 2629 Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Tue May 23, 2006 10:20 am    Post subject: yay for you. D'you think he'll let me in now I've got over 300 posts? _________________ Tea Cures All. Back to top Author LordoftheNight Revered IFian Joined: 11 Aug 2005 Posts: 5276 Location: Hell Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Tue May 23, 2006 11:34 am    Post subject: Actually, you don't yet, but that's a detail. _________________ Punishment leads to Fear. Fear leads to Obedience. Obedience leads to Freedom. Therefore, Punishment leads to Freedom. Ave Dominus Nox A Fronte Praecipitium a Tergo Lupi Blood Bowl Scraping the Barrel A Tale of Four Swords Passion Back to top Author ninja baloon Guest Items Posted: Tue May 23, 2006 11:41 am    Post subject: I believe we have strayed a little bit off topic. Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Tue May 23, 2006 4:13 pm    Post subject: Hehe. Did you read the IFY nominations yet Nalloon? Don't worry Whitey, I am sure you will get in at some point. This story actually has rather a long way to go! The hunt for the Mod machine is only part two of about six. _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author OmegaTerra Citizen Joined: 14 Feb 2006 Posts: 120 Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Tue May 23, 2006 4:19 pm    Post subject: Quote: “He is coming around! I told you I bopped him properly!” said the Orc. LOL A proper bopper. _________________ Good night and good hunting! And the story goes The Orc and The Not so Fat Fat Fairy The Orc says.... The Twisty Stoat says.... Back to top Author The White Blacksmith Elder Joined: 02 Apr 2006 Posts: 2629 Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Wed May 24, 2006 8:22 am    Post subject: *Presents the Orc with a trophy for Bopping* way to go! Get evryone to begin an impromto search of the room, ripping the upholstery and Soily getting Mud everywhere! Annoy Smee! _________________ Tea Cures All. Back to top Author The Meaning Of Fear Respected Citizen Joined: 06 May 2006 Posts: 980 Location: In a deep, dark corner of the universe, plotting. Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Fri May 26, 2006 12:10 am    Post subject: LOL! Nice title....lol! Quote: Woe is Smee Remind me to make a special, super dirt proof chair for our mayor, for he may need it nexty time soily goes to visit him....And musnt forget anti soily carpet, too. and also a machine for stoping nalloon begging to be in the guild.... Almost forgot! I think the mod machine should be in....ummmm.....key's mansion?(if he has one)Or maybe it's stuffed in the new SGs forum, where newbies can be corrupted to use it....*runs off, in search of machine, so i can use it for evil* ~holds breath~ _________________ Cherish all your memories, even the bad ones, for they are what makes you who you are. Doors to the truth, an SG where a boy is propelled into worlds he is unfamiliar with. He crosses many worlds, and sees many things that force him to throw away his innocence, once, and for all. Fourth Chapter, out for viewing! Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Fri May 26, 2006 12:33 am    Post subject: Quote: Or maybe it's stuffed in the new SGs forum, where newbies can be corrupted to use it....*runs off, in search of machine, so i can use it for evil Good idea! _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author The Meaning Of Fear Respected Citizen Joined: 06 May 2006 Posts: 980 Location: In a deep, dark corner of the universe, plotting. Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Fri May 26, 2006 12:54 am    Post subject: ...I get this weird feeling that china is gonna make me an evil mod machine user.... *puts on power rangers mask* YA! ITS MORTHING TIME! TYRANASAURUS! ( i don't beleive i still watch the stupid show...) _________________ Cherish all your memories, even the bad ones, for they are what makes you who you are. Doors to the truth, an SG where a boy is propelled into worlds he is unfamiliar with. He crosses many worlds, and sees many things that force him to throw away his innocence, once, and for all. Fourth Chapter, out for viewing! Back to top Author ninja baloon Guest Items Posted: Fri May 26, 2006 7:45 am    Post subject: I haven't begged to get in the guild. I just asked repeatedly for about a week. Now I'm just waiting, I know I'll get in but when. I think the mod machine will be in the one place where no one will expect it to be. It wil be stuffed in one of the many crevaces of the uninhabitable rabbit hole of Soily.* Either that or it's under Smee's desk somewhere. Think about it, loads of people including newbies go to Smee's office. I myself may be a mod but just unaware of it. *too many of's Back to top Author LordoftheNight Revered IFian Joined: 11 Aug 2005 Posts: 5276 Location: Hell Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Fri May 26, 2006 9:09 am    Post subject: If it's in the New Storygames Forum then one of us (Sparta, Red and I) must have put it there. And seeing how Red is dead, and I'm looking for it... The blame lies squarely at Sparta's feet. Gotcha _________________ Punishment leads to Fear. Fear leads to Obedience. Obedience leads to Freedom. Therefore, Punishment leads to Freedom. Ave Dominus Nox A Fronte Praecipitium a Tergo Lupi Blood Bowl Scraping the Barrel A Tale of Four Swords Passion Back to top Author The Meaning Of Fear Respected Citizen Joined: 06 May 2006 Posts: 980 Location: In a deep, dark corner of the universe, plotting. Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Fri May 26, 2006 2:26 pm    Post subject: Your have it wrong there, lordy. The mods for the new story games forum is you, sparta and muddy not red. But i guess that doesn't change much, since sparta is still the main suspect...lol _________________ Cherish all your memories, even the bad ones, for they are what makes you who you are. Doors to the truth, an SG where a boy is propelled into worlds he is unfamiliar with. He crosses many worlds, and sees many things that force him to throw away his innocence, once, and for all. Fourth Chapter, out for viewing! Back to top Author LordoftheNight Revered IFian Joined: 11 Aug 2005 Posts: 5276 Location: Hell Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Fri May 26, 2006 3:11 pm    Post subject: McDibsky is Red. _________________ Punishment leads to Fear. Fear leads to Obedience. Obedience leads to Freedom. Therefore, Punishment leads to Freedom. Ave Dominus Nox A Fronte Praecipitium a Tergo Lupi Blood Bowl Scraping the Barrel A Tale of Four Swords Passion Back to top Author The White Blacksmith Elder Joined: 02 Apr 2006 Posts: 2629 Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Fri May 26, 2006 10:44 pm    Post subject: Why is muddy dead? _________________ Tea Cures All. Back to top Author The Meaning Of Fear Respected Citizen Joined: 06 May 2006 Posts: 980 Location: In a deep, dark corner of the universe, plotting. Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sat May 27, 2006 1:24 am    Post subject: yes, why is he dead? And why is he red? (this rhymes!) _________________ Cherish all your memories, even the bad ones, for they are what makes you who you are. Doors to the truth, an SG where a boy is propelled into worlds he is unfamiliar with. He crosses many worlds, and sees many things that force him to throw away his innocence, once, and for all. Fourth Chapter, out for viewing! Back to top Author LordoftheNight Revered IFian Joined: 11 Aug 2005 Posts: 5276 Location: Hell Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sat May 27, 2006 3:42 pm    Post subject: He died saving Chinaren's life in the mines - didn't you read the story? And he's Red because of his communist attitudes, and as Head of the Communist Party of IF. Red being the communist colour and all. _________________ Punishment leads to Fear. Fear leads to Obedience. Obedience leads to Freedom. Therefore, Punishment leads to Freedom. Ave Dominus Nox A Fronte Praecipitium a Tergo Lupi Blood Bowl Scraping the Barrel A Tale of Four Swords Passion Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sat May 27, 2006 3:50 pm    Post subject: He will return though, everyone was backed up before they left. Remember too, these adventures are (mostly) running in parallel, so McDibs and the rest are 'currently' down the mines. _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author The Meaning Of Fear Respected Citizen Joined: 06 May 2006 Posts: 980 Location: In a deep, dark corner of the universe, plotting. Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sun May 28, 2006 12:00 am    Post subject: Poor, poor mcdibsky...what did he do to deserve this??? *celebrates once nobody is looking* _________________ Cherish all your memories, even the bad ones, for they are what makes you who you are. Doors to the truth, an SG where a boy is propelled into worlds he is unfamiliar with. He crosses many worlds, and sees many things that force him to throw away his innocence, once, and for all. Fourth Chapter, out for viewing! Back to top Author The White Blacksmith Elder Joined: 02 Apr 2006 Posts: 2629 Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sun May 28, 2006 4:33 am    Post subject: Woo! Par-tay! Erm... ahem... I mean, he was a good wheelie thing, he was loyal, brave, and a bove all he shall become the patron saint of poodle lovers. Muddy. Woo! I'm the vicar! Except he's not christian. Neither am I, for that matter. _________________ Tea Cures All. Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sun May 28, 2006 5:51 am    Post subject: Now guys, keep it on topic please. _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author ninja baloon Guest Items Posted: Mon May 29, 2006 2:04 pm    Post subject: What is the topic? Back to top Author Super snail Guest Items Posted: Wed May 31, 2006 5:57 am    Post subject: Cool, I like this story. It has all the people that go on this site in it. I'm new, can I be in it? Back to top Author Smee Revered IFian Joined: 16 Oct 2004 Posts: 5215 Location: UK Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Wed May 31, 2006 8:41 am    Post subject: People in the story is down to author discretion, and mainly Council members at the moment. However, it'd be great if you read, comment and vote. Come up with a great idea what to do next and you could find everyone voting for your option. Happy Playing _________________ The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the Devil's own Satanic Herd! Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Wed May 31, 2006 9:06 am    Post subject: Indeed. If you become an active member of IF though Slugs, I am sure you willl find yourself cropping up somewhere eventually... _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author The White Blacksmith Elder Joined: 02 Apr 2006 Posts: 2629 Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Wed May 31, 2006 10:40 am    Post subject: Except he hasn't punt me in yet. Hint hint nudge nudge. _________________ Tea Cures All. Back to top Author ninja baloon Guest Items Posted: Wed May 31, 2006 12:58 pm    Post subject: China just put him in. I'm sure you could find something for him to do. Even if it's a short cameo. Back to top Author The Meaning Of Fear Respected Citizen Joined: 06 May 2006 Posts: 980 Location: In a deep, dark corner of the universe, plotting. Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Thu Jun 01, 2006 1:09 am    Post subject: Yeah, let him be an interpreter for the sewer rats only to die in vain ( i am refering to super snail) (no offense man!) _________________ Cherish all your memories, even the bad ones, for they are what makes you who you are. Doors to the truth, an SG where a boy is propelled into worlds he is unfamiliar with. He crosses many worlds, and sees many things that force him to throw away his innocence, once, and for all. Fourth Chapter, out for viewing! Back to top Author The White Blacksmith Elder Joined: 02 Apr 2006 Posts: 2629 Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Thu Jun 01, 2006 1:18 am    Post subject: NB, if you were refering to me, I am in fact a SHE _________________ Tea Cures All. Back to top Author ninja baloon Guest Items Posted: Thu Jun 01, 2006 2:52 am    Post subject: I apologise. It is easy to get confused on this City... Uh oh. I gave you a part in chapter five of Stubby. I can fix it easy. Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Thu Jun 01, 2006 4:21 am    Post subject: Keep it on topic please guys (and gals). _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author The Meaning Of Fear Respected Citizen Joined: 06 May 2006 Posts: 980 Location: In a deep, dark corner of the universe, plotting. Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Thu Jun 01, 2006 11:29 pm    Post subject: all right all right. So what are we gonna do now? hunt down the mod machine, right? So lets put a poll up ALREADY~! I reckon the mod machine should be in the new sgs forum. _________________ Cherish all your memories, even the bad ones, for they are what makes you who you are. Doors to the truth, an SG where a boy is propelled into worlds he is unfamiliar with. He crosses many worlds, and sees many things that force him to throw away his innocence, once, and for all. Fourth Chapter, out for viewing! Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Fri Jun 02, 2006 12:16 am    Post subject: Good point. So saying... The Poll is now up for your voting delectation. _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author The Meaning Of Fear Respected Citizen Joined: 06 May 2006 Posts: 980 Location: In a deep, dark corner of the universe, plotting. Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Fri Jun 02, 2006 2:01 am    Post subject: Voted, and winning! Yay! China, i just want to ask, are you going to make me an evil mod machine user? _________________ Cherish all your memories, even the bad ones, for they are what makes you who you are. Doors to the truth, an SG where a boy is propelled into worlds he is unfamiliar with. He crosses many worlds, and sees many things that force him to throw away his innocence, once, and for all. Fourth Chapter, out for viewing! Back to top Author ninja baloon Guest Items Posted: Fri Jun 02, 2006 3:30 am    Post subject: Yay a poll! *bursts into dance* Damn I'm losing. Back to top Author The Meaning Of Fear Respected Citizen Joined: 06 May 2006 Posts: 980 Location: In a deep, dark corner of the universe, plotting. Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Fri Jun 02, 2006 2:03 pm    Post subject: Come on New SGs District! You can win it! :biggrin: _________________ Cherish all your memories, even the bad ones, for they are what makes you who you are. Doors to the truth, an SG where a boy is propelled into worlds he is unfamiliar with. He crosses many worlds, and sees many things that force him to throw away his innocence, once, and for all. Fourth Chapter, out for viewing! Back to top Author ninja baloon Guest Items Posted: Fri Jun 02, 2006 2:39 pm    Post subject: I still think that the machine is under Smee's desk. Back to top Author The Meaning Of Fear Respected Citizen Joined: 06 May 2006 Posts: 980 Location: In a deep, dark corner of the universe, plotting. Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Fri Jun 02, 2006 9:07 pm    Post subject: EEEEEK!!! 3 WAY TIE! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES~ _________________ Cherish all your memories, even the bad ones, for they are what makes you who you are. Doors to the truth, an SG where a boy is propelled into worlds he is unfamiliar with. He crosses many worlds, and sees many things that force him to throw away his innocence, once, and for all. Fourth Chapter, out for viewing! Back to top Author Solomon Birch Honored Citizen Joined: 22 Nov 2005 Posts: 1562 Location: England..... but Japan beckons..... Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sat Jun 03, 2006 12:48 am    Post subject: Voted. :biggrin: *holds breath* _________________ "Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9 Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3 The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3 One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3 Green Eyes - Chapter 5 Back to top Author The Meaning Of Fear Respected Citizen Joined: 06 May 2006 Posts: 980 Location: In a deep, dark corner of the universe, plotting. Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sat Jun 03, 2006 1:16 am    Post subject: Nooooooo~! Soily! How could you! Now, just to annoy you i shall: ~holds breath~ _________________ Cherish all your memories, even the bad ones, for they are what makes you who you are. Doors to the truth, an SG where a boy is propelled into worlds he is unfamiliar with. He crosses many worlds, and sees many things that force him to throw away his innocence, once, and for all. Fourth Chapter, out for viewing! Back to top Author ninja baloon Guest Items Posted: Sat Jun 03, 2006 8:43 am    Post subject: I'm the only one that voted for Smee's mansion... Back to top Author The White Blacksmith Elder Joined: 02 Apr 2006 Posts: 2629 Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sat Jun 03, 2006 8:54 am    Post subject: I would have, but I don't know whether that contains his mayoral office or not! _________________ Tea Cures All. Back to top Author The Meaning Of Fear Respected Citizen Joined: 06 May 2006 Posts: 980 Location: In a deep, dark corner of the universe, plotting. Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sat Jun 03, 2006 2:56 pm    Post subject: Come on New SGs Forum! Go! And, just to make a point, it says where should the team look, not where the machine is. So the team might look and not find it... _________________ Cherish all your memories, even the bad ones, for they are what makes you who you are. Doors to the truth, an SG where a boy is propelled into worlds he is unfamiliar with. He crosses many worlds, and sees many things that force him to throw away his innocence, once, and for all. Fourth Chapter, out for viewing! Back to top Author ninja baloon Guest Items Posted: Sat Jun 03, 2006 3:12 pm    Post subject: YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It would be fun to have it under Smee's desk. Back to top Author The White Blacksmith Elder Joined: 02 Apr 2006 Posts: 2629 Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sun Jun 04, 2006 4:25 am    Post subject: I want it under Smee's desk, so I reckon they should look but not find, then conduct a city wide search, with Soily looking in Smee's office, just to ruin the upholstery. _________________ Tea Cures All. Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sun Jun 25, 2006 9:33 pm    Post subject: 12. First Against the Wall Chapter 12 – First Against the Wall “We will start with the Registration Wall. Any possible Mod Machine could cause havoc if those damned outsiders were given Mod powers.” Smee shuddered at the thought. “If we can’t find anything there, then we go to the Forest. You could hide an army in that place.” “Mmm, an army eh?” Lordy said thoughtfully. As everyone else slowly wandered off, Smee led Lordy and Soily to a corridor off to the side of the Mayoral chamber. Through several doors they went, down a dozen flights of steep stairs and through another door, which Smee unlocked with a large iron key. Finally, at the end of a dimly lit hallway, they stood infront of a heavy metal portal barring the way. Making sure Lordy and Soily couldn’t see the code, Smee typed in a combination on a keypad to the side, and then pressed his finger up against a small piece of glass. “Code accepted,” said a voice. “Identify Smee. Enter Mr. Mayor.” The door swung open slowly. “Impressive,” said Soily shambling in. “Some sort of automated system?” “Er, well we thought of that, but it was too expensive to install. Chinaren refused to give Kingky a 69% discount, so we went for a cheaper option.” “Hello Mayor sir! All present and ship-shape here m’lord.” The same voice that they had heard a moment ago piped up, and a small figure appeared from behind the door, which she had been straining to pull open. “White Blacksmith! What are you doing here?” asked Lordy. “Smee said I was double posting too much. I have to clean and polish everything in here as punishment.” “Yes, and take an inventory as well remember. How is it coming?” Smee said as Whitey strained to close the vault door behind them. “Oh sir! I will be an old woman by the time I have finished here! Can’t I get some help?” “Certainly not! I bring someone else in and you will be playing games instead of working. Now, get back to your cleaning!” Smee brought the Mayoral baton down on poor Whitey’s head with a thwack. “Yes sir! At once sir! Sorry sir!” Whitey scampered off back to a waiting bucket and mop. Smee looked after her for a moment and shook his head. “It’s hard to get the staff these days,” he said. “What is this place?” said Lordy, looking around the vast cavern. Smee beamed. “This my friend, is the ISEEC.” “I sick?” said Soily. “ISEEC,” Corrected Smee. “the IF Secret and Experimental Equipment Cave.” “Not really the best acronym is it?” sniffed Lordy. Smee grimaced. “I know, but it was the best we could come up with at the time.” “So what’s in here then?” Soily moved forward and looked around. The ISEEC was huge, with stacks of shelves reaching off into the distance. Boxes and strange pieces of equipment were stacked happazardly on them. Nearer to the three, just behind Whitey who was vigorously mopping away, were some offices. Smee strode towards one of the larger ones, Lordy and Soily trailing after. “This is our lab. To go outside the wall we will need disguises.” Smee reached into a large box and pulled out three bracelets. “Here, put these on.” He handed Lordy and Soily one each and clipped one around his own wrist. Lordy examined his. The bracelet was a dull brown color with several buttons embeded into it. “What’s this red one do then?” said Soily. “Don’t press that!” shouted Smee. “Never press the red button.” He walked over to them. “Here, take these. It is a pack with some useful equipment.” Lordy and Soily slung the packs onto their backs and followed Smee back outside where Smee found Whitey sitting down on an upturned bucket. “Back to work Whitey! Sooner started, sooner finished.” “Yes sir” Whitey replied with a sigh, standing up again. Smee led his two charges through another secure door, and along a long tunnel which twisted about and gradually sloped upwards. After nearly an hour they came to a flight of dusty stairs leading up to a trap-door. “Right then, press the purple button twice on your bracelets,” said Smee. They did so, and exclaimed as their appearances suddenly shimmered and changed. “PIDs” pronounced the barbarian warrior that Smee had become. “Personal Illusion Disguise?” guessed the tall thin Insectoid that Lordy now seemed to be. “Hmmf, maybe,” said Smee, a little put out that Lord had guessed correctly. “Hey, these are cool. I would never guess those were you,” said Soily. “How do I look?” The other two looked at Soily for a moment. “Er, great,” said Smee doubtfully. “It’s a great disguise that’s for sure. I would never guess that was you,” said Lordy. “Alright! What am I? Some Evil Anti-Paladin? A Warlock?” Soily bent over trying to get a look at himself. “Something like that,” said Smee. “Come on, no time to waste. We are directly under Sector 507, just outside the wall. When we go outside we should have false names. I will be Kronan. Lordy you will be Hive.” “What about me?” asked Soily. “Er, I think… Helga for you come on now no dawdling.” Smee quickly climbed the stairs, Lordy/Hive close behind. “Helga?” said Soily. “Helga!!??? Hey! You guys wait a minute! What is my disguise? Come on! Tell me!” > In a dingy recess a sandy floor shifted and then exploded upwards. A hidden hatch flipped open and a Barbarian emerged, followed by a strange Insectoid and finally, grumbling under her breath, an ugly fat woman with rosy red cheeks and long hair tied in braids. The three looked around. They were in a narrow alcove of some sort. No sun reached them and it was cold and smelly. “Come on,” said the barbarian. “Close the hatch behind you Helga.” They filed forward slowly, the fat woman closing the trap door, complaining under her breath all the while. Kronan peered out into a chaotic scene. Makeshift stalls were erected in haphazard fashion along a dusty street. Venders of all descriptions, sharing nothing in common but their dirty appearance, shouted their wares. Shady characters of all sorts passed by or stopped and haggled as their fancy took them. One tall robed figure was nose to nose with a lizard man from the deserts of AHA. Both were screaming at each other at the top of their voices. No one passing took any notice. The whole scene was overshadowed by the looming presence of the Great Registration Wall. “What is this place?” asked Helga, stepping back to avoid a ragged looking warrior on the back of some sort of six-legged oxen. Stumbling along behind, tied to a rope, were several scrawny looking humans and a dwarf. “This is the dark underbelly of IF. The lawless zone just outside our Wall. Here are touts, spammers, trolls, lurkers and the scum of the earth that feed their depraved desires. “Hey! I think I just saw Chinaren,” said Hive, pointing to a short orange figure garbed in dark robes waddling past. “Oh, no doubt one of his trading-clones. You know China, fingers in pies and all that. Where do you think he gets some of his ‘darker’ artifacts from?” “And you allow this?” asked Helga. Kronan shifted uncomfortably for a second. “Well, it’s just that sometimes the Council needs to perform some less… pleasant tasks, for the Good of the City of course, and the contacts here come in useful. It is a balance. It’s all about Good vs Evil vs Money at the end of the day.” “I see,” said Hive, tapping a digit to his chitin thoughtfully. “Interesting. Very interesting.” “One day Key will sweep all this scum away,” said Kronan. “In the meantime it is useful to know where they are.” They watched a merchant push a cart past. “Get yer magikal artifacts ‘ere!” He shouted. “Cursed rings! Handy for de-fingering! Special Tea, direct from the Dark-Brown district of THE. Knock out your enemies without them suspecting a thing! Explosive Wheelidibs! Great for a bloody larf! Bananas! Real Bananas! I gots it all I has!” “Come on,” said Kronan. “I know someone who has his ear to the ground. Keep close and don’t speak to anyone.” He moved off, barging through the crush. The other two followed him, pushing through the throng. They passed stalls advertising Fake Storygames, charms for voting and potions that ‘guaranteed’ a winning Storygame of the Month if drunk. Some of the other stalls were more… basic in their offerings. “So this is where Muaddib gets some of his staff,” said Helga as they walked around a market selling a variety of buxom wenches and well hung studs. Kronan shook his head and pushed an imp who was trying to pick his pocket away. “The ASS raid here sometimes, but the slavers are like Hydras, chop one down and two more spring up in their place. Still, you can get some good bargains if you shop around. Er. So I hear. Aha, here we are.” He ducked inside a small plain tent. The other two followed to find themselves in a gloomy interior. Candles of various shapes and sizes, some looking distinctly phallic, lined the tent in defiance of all manner of safety laws. Wild drawings lined the canvas walls, depicting deeds both foul and perverted. “Nice,” said Hive. “And what do ye be visiting my wretched hovel for travelers?” A screeching wild voice came from the dark at the back of the tent. They looked towards the voice as a figure emerged. “It was hunched over and walked with a limp. Large wild eyes rolled madly above a long nose. “Speak! Speak now or be drawn into my works!” The man laughed madly, rubbing his hands together. Helga noticed they were stained with inks of various colors, but mostly they looked red. Blood red. “It’s only me Argonaut. Smee. This is Lordy and Soily.” “Oh, well, nice to see you again Smee,” the figure suddenly straightened and spoke in a normal voice. “Hold on a minute, I will close up.” Showing no signs of his previous gait, Argonaut strolled over and laced up the tent flap, then turned and faced the trio. “What are you doing here Argo?” asked Soily. “Oh, I come here often. It helps my artistic juices flow. Surrounded by raw life on the edge. Plus I make a bit on the side in this pyramid slave scheme. Can I offer you gents a cup of tea?” Remembering the merchant outside Smee declined. “We have come to see if you have heard anything unusual lately. Anything about someone offering Mod-dom.” Argo scratched his head for a moment. “Well, there have been some rumors mentioning some sort of gathering that is supposed to be happening in the Forest of Doom, wherever that is, the next full moons.” “Interesting” said Smee. “Anything else?” “Well… the price of tea has gone up dramatically lately, I don’t know if that means anything though. And I had a mysterious visitor the other day, all robed and hooded. He was asking for pictures of Council members.” “Did you do them?” Argo made a neutral gesture. “He didn’t offer much in the way of Fables, so I just gave him some stock caricatures. They were all going moldy anyway. I keep them in a hut in the Garden.” “Hmf,” said Smee, not sure he wanted to see a caricature of himself or not. “What did he look like?” Argo hunched over for a moment and there was a few moments of puffing and muttering. Just as they were about to enquire if he was alright he jerked back upright and handed Smee a small sketch of a hooded figure. “There, that’s the best I can do I am afraid. It’s the candles. No light see?” Smee pocketed the picture. “Thanks Argo, you have been a help.” “Hold!” Argo held up a hand. “There was something else. I heard that a woman was inquiring if there were any Lost Souls for sale. She looked a bit like Fauna, but I am sure it couldn’t have been her. Could it?” The three looked at each other. “Surely not. Perhaps it was our shape changer,” said Lordy. “Any other strange sightings?” “Around here? The only thing strange is something usual. Wait though. A figure passed through here lately boasting he had a way to get through the wall. Said he was going to spam the City into the ground.” “I think we caught him. Mind you, it could be worth going and seeing if he knows anything. The ASS have him in the HOLE.” Smee rubbed his chin and turned to the other two. “Well, what do you think? What’s our next move?” >>>>>> Well, a little overdue, but here you go. Finally on the trail of the MM. The poll was tied for the Registration wall and the Forest, so I kinda worked both in. So. Suggestion. What now? Any and all ideas welcome! <<<<<< _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Last edited by Chinaren on Thu Feb 15, 2007 7:59 pm; edited 2 times in total Back to top Author Shady Stoat Elder Joined: 02 Oct 2005 Posts: 2950 Location: England Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sun Jun 25, 2006 10:33 pm    Post subject: Hmm... the price of tea has gone up, you say? How suspicious! Well, it seems obvious to me that someone's trying to cash in on an expected increase in tea-drinking very soon? And who drinks tea? People who go up in status suddenly and want to look posh. We should also look into the sale of china teapots and teacups. I'm sure anyone who's been through the mod machine feels duty-bound to sit around, looking refined and drinking tea from best china, with their pinky finger raised (little knowing that the REAL moderators are more likely to go for the gin by preference). So, we should go find the tea supplier. He obviously knows something Back to top Author ninja baloon Guest Items Posted: Mon Jun 26, 2006 1:23 am    Post subject: Good chapter and might I add nice touch with the in story advertising. I agree with Stoat. Looke for the tea supplier. China tea cups and saucers? It's just the word China gives the impression that Chinaren (You! incase your forgot) has something to do with this. Back to top Author LordoftheNight Revered IFian Joined: 11 Aug 2005 Posts: 5276 Location: Hell Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Mon Jun 26, 2006 5:32 am    Post subject: And yes - both Alba and Powers have recently become moderators (or at least, stand in moderators). Maybe it's one of them? Or both? _________________ Punishment leads to Fear. Fear leads to Obedience. Obedience leads to Freedom. Therefore, Punishment leads to Freedom. Ave Dominus Nox A Fronte Praecipitium a Tergo Lupi Blood Bowl Scraping the Barrel A Tale of Four Swords Passion Back to top Author Smee Revered IFian Joined: 16 Oct 2004 Posts: 5215 Location: UK Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Mon Jun 26, 2006 8:43 am    Post subject: Fun chapter Chinaren - poor Whitey The tea-man might know something, but I think the rumour of a gathering in the Fantasy Forest is more important. An army could indeed be hidden in there, and we need to stamp on it before that can happen. Happy Writing _________________ The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the Devil's own Satanic Herd! Back to top Author Argonaut Mercenary Artist Joined: 11 May 2006 Posts: 344 Location: California Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Mon Jun 26, 2006 9:14 am    Post subject: HAHA! I'm a crazy man in a tent, living on the edge Very cool Chinaren. Let's see, interrogating a spammer might be funny but I doubt much information could come from the barrage of bad spelling that's likely to unleash. The forest seems like a good place to go next, but crooked tea merchants seems more appropriate to the style of things. Of course they should be keeping an eye out for Mr. "all robed and hooded" wherever they go. Although if the started arresting every mysterious hooded figure around they'll probably run out of jail cells Back to top Author ninja baloon Guest Items Posted: Mon Jun 26, 2006 10:38 am    Post subject: It would be silly to hide an army in fantasy forest. Fantasy forest would eat the army. Back to top Author The White Blacksmith Elder Joined: 02 Apr 2006 Posts: 2629 Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Mon Jun 26, 2006 10:56 am    Post subject: I didn't do anyfink! It was Meany I tells ya! Meany! Just one point, the link for Real Bannanas leads to sector 507. And, Nalloon, the Forest wouldn't eat the army, Rai would get to them first. We shouldn't look there because you know how picky Rai is when she's eating, and because I don't really want Helga, Hive and Kronan to become Sunday Roast, though it would get me out of work. So I say interview the Spammer. You've got Smee with you, and his Hellhounds can surely stop any bad grammar getting into the city. *sits oin bucket and sips tea* _________________ Tea Cures All. Back to top Author Starwalker Guest Items Posted: Mon Jun 26, 2006 1:30 pm    Post subject: -chuckles- Check the stockmarket and see who has cornered the commodities on tea and china. Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Mon Jun 26, 2006 3:34 pm    Post subject: Quote: interrogating a spammer might be funny but I doubt much information could come from the barrage of bad spelling that's likely to unleash Ooh, that is a good one. Good comments all. I knew I could rely on you to do twisty things with that tea line. Quote: Just one point, the link for Real Bannanas leads to sector 507. Ah, my mistake. Mind you, 507 doesn't get so many readers, so maybe I will leave it like that. _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author ninja baloon Guest Items Posted: Tue Jul 04, 2006 2:05 pm    Post subject: I just had an idea, maybe fantasy forrest is the army! Back to top Author The White Blacksmith Elder Joined: 02 Apr 2006 Posts: 2629 Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Wed Jul 05, 2006 8:19 am    Post subject: And a chip has been planted in Rai's brain, turning her into a mindless cyberman! _________________ Tea Cures All. Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Wed Jul 12, 2006 4:46 am    Post subject: Voting time. _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author The Meaning Of Fear Respected Citizen Joined: 06 May 2006 Posts: 980 Location: In a deep, dark corner of the universe, plotting. Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Thu Jul 20, 2006 1:22 am    Post subject: darn, i missed out on the ideas bit. Quote: “Smee said I was double posting too much. I have to clean and polish everything in here as punishment.” I totally agree with smee. I was wonder though, CHina, when your going to put me in the story. I dont care if im evil or something. thats what i live for. _________________ Cherish all your memories, even the bad ones, for they are what makes you who you are. Doors to the truth, an SG where a boy is propelled into worlds he is unfamiliar with. He crosses many worlds, and sees many things that force him to throw away his innocence, once, and for all. Fourth Chapter, out for viewing! Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Thu Jul 20, 2006 4:37 am    Post subject: Quote: I was wonder though, CHina, when your going to put me in the story. I dont care if im evil or something. thats what i live for. People will be added in as and when the opportunity arises. Don't worry, there is plenty of story left yet. Rather too much actually. _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author The Meaning Of Fear Respected Citizen Joined: 06 May 2006 Posts: 980 Location: In a deep, dark corner of the universe, plotting. Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Fri Jul 21, 2006 1:38 pm    Post subject: I sure do hope i get a part who murders WHitey. _________________ Cherish all your memories, even the bad ones, for they are what makes you who you are. Doors to the truth, an SG where a boy is propelled into worlds he is unfamiliar with. He crosses many worlds, and sees many things that force him to throw away his innocence, once, and for all. Fourth Chapter, out for viewing! Back to top Author The White Blacksmith Elder Joined: 02 Apr 2006 Posts: 2629 Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sat Jul 22, 2006 11:00 pm    Post subject: I sure hope I do get to give him my job. _________________ Tea Cures All. Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sun Jul 23, 2006 10:19 pm    Post subject: Okay, that's good enough. Poll is closed. This one is next on my list. _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author ninja baloon Guest Items Posted: Wed Jul 26, 2006 3:06 am    Post subject: aw, I missed the vote. Oh well. Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sun Aug 13, 2006 5:30 am    Post subject: Chapter 13 &#8211; Tea hee. Chapter 13 – Tea-hee. Soily took a deep breath and pushed up her bosom. “Has to be the tea,” he said. “Most people think the council are avid tea-drinkers.” “Why on earth would anyone think that?” asked Smee, genuinely baffled. “It's a well known fact,” said Soily, but then paused. “Actually, now I come to think of it, I have no idea why. It makes no sense.” “If someone believed that nonsense then they may assume that newly forged mods would have to go around drinking the stuff all day,” Lord mused. “Hence they would stockpile it.” Smee finished, smacking his fist into his hand. “A dastardly plan, fiendish in it cunningisity.” “To the tea-mobile!” shouted Soily, getting carried away. Lordy smacked him around the head and then turned to Argonaut. “Where do you buy yours from Argo?” “Oh, my stuff I buy in a little shop down the backstreets of the city, a delightful place. I will draw you a map.” He hunched over and began his huffing and panting again. “You really should buy a table,” said Smee. A minute later Argo had a sketch for them. He handed it to Smee, who examined it. “Dingle-Dangle lane, near Jester Park. I don't think I have been down there. Thanks Argo.” “No problem Mr. Mayor,” said the Mercenary Artist. Smee turned to the other two. “Right then, back in character, we have to return to the city.” Argonaut unlaced the tent and the three stepped back out into the meelee that was the street. Pushing their way through the throng they made their way back around to the city gates, pausing only for a moment behind a large pillar to deactivate their disguises before entering the main entrance once more as their regal selves. > “This way isn't it?” “No, over there!” “We have been down that road twice! Look it's Splatterbum lane again.” “Are you sure this map is correct?” The three stood at a small crossroads and crowded around Argo's map. It was dark and they were tired and hungry. “It is quite clear,” said Smee, poking a finger on the now smudged diagram. “Between Splatterbum and Funky Sock avenue.” “But that is here!” said Soily, gesturing at the blank wall they stood beside. Lordy scratched his head, deep in thought. “Mmm, perhaps there is more to this wall than meets the eye.” Smee squinted. “Are we talking illusion here? Magic portals and all that?” “Yes! See!” Soily pointed excitedly. “It is right opposite the old HEM house*!” “Ah! Then no doubt this whole area is riddled with space-time flux thingies, it all makes sense now,” Smee said. “So this wall isn't a wall at all, but a crack in dimensions,” said Lordy. “In that case all we have to do is stroll confidently forward,” Soily declared. “Stand back lads, I will handle this one.” He took a deep breath and strode forward into the wall. There was a sound and Smee and Lordy winced. “Soily! Are you okay?” Smee bent over the recumbent figure. “Wake up!” “I don't want any cake mummy,” said the Soiled one from his prone position on the floor. “He has taken a serious knock to the head,” said Lordy. He looked at Smee. “You check his pockets, I will find his wallet.” “Mummy! I did poo poo again,” said Soily, causing the other two to draw back. “Look, just get up will you? It is demeaning for a Council member to be lying on the street talking about poo poo,” said Smee. “What about that time you drank that bottle of Extra Peculiar and...” “Shut up,” Smee cut Lordy off as Soily staggered to his feet. “What happened?” “I think you were a bit overconfident with your theory,” replied Smee. “Walked straight into the wall.” “Hey, look here!” said Lordy, pointing to a mark near the dent Soily had left behind. “This brick is wwhhaaaaa...” The demonic figure wavered as he touched the spot, and then shrank, being pulled into the wall itself. Soily clapped. “You found it!” he followed Lordy's example, leaving Smee alone on the dark road. The Mayor looked around nervously and then shrugged. “What they hey?” He extended a finger... > “OooOoOoOOOo! That hurt!” Smee popped into existence next to the other two. “Dingle-Dangle lane.” Lordy pointed at the sign on the wall. They walked down the narrow cobbled road, which was filled with quaint old shops. “I wonder if Key knows about these businesses?” Said Smee. “No doubt they have been evading taxes, hiding in a dimensional pocket. I should fine them.” “Later, let's just find the tea house,” Soily passed a short figure wearing round glasses, dressed in a wizards robe and carrying a broomstick. He shook his head. “No, couldn't be. Wrong universe.” “Here it is,” said Lordy pointing to a shop. “Sweet Little Pink Flower Tea Shoppe,” read Soily. “Ahhh, how cute.” “Come on,” said Smee and pushed open the door, which tinkled daintily. The trio crowded into the shop. It was decorated in lilacs and pastel shades. Pictures of sunny meadows adorned the walls, and the windows were framed with frilly lace curtains. The room was long and thin, with shelves crammed with tins of leaves and other tea-related paraphernalia. “Hello? Shop?” Said Soily as they walked down. “Won't be a moment,” a voice echoed from the far end, through a doorway with a sparkling beaded curtain. A shape passed through the beads, holding a small tray with several dainty tea-cups on. He was wearing an apron with 'I'll be mummy shall I?' printed on the front. “Jack?” said Lordy. “Is that you?” The shop keeper looked up startled. He clapped his hands to his face, dropping the tray with a crash and squealed, dashing back through the doorway. The others looked at each other. The room darkened. A shadow formed on the floor, slowly expanding. As they watched it heaved upright, like an expensive Hollywood special morphing effect. Gradually a large figure formed, all black with glowing white eyes above a mouth filled with evil looking teeth. “Whaaat caaan I dooo for you mortalssss?” it hissed, long tongue flicking forth, snake-like. “Come on Jack, we saw you. Don't think we are fooled.” Lordy crossed his arms and tapped his foot. The Shadow loomed large for a moment, but then hesitated and shrank back down, deflating rapidly. “Oh very well. But if you ever tell anyone about this I will wreak a horrible revenge, I swear!” Jack reverted to his human form once more, complete with apron, which he wiped his hands on. “And you made me drop several cups of expensive brew as well,” he complained. “How long have you been running this place?” asked Soily. “For some time now,” Jack D.Mented replied. “And watch that rug! It is a bitch to clean.” He circled around and began picking up his tray and the remains of the cups. “We need your help, it's a matter of City Security,” said Smee stepping forward. “And you need a cup of tea?” “We are on the trail of a dastardly fiend who would make everyone a Mod,” said the Mayor. “Mm mm,” said Jack, mopping up tea. “Have you had any unusual orders lately? Perhaps for large quantities of expensive product?” Smee continued. Jack looked up. “As a matter of fact, yes. A mysterious customer ordered fifteen crates of Da-Bling, the most expensive brew we have. The order is coming in up the river tonight. I am meeting him at midnight to do the deal.” A tea exchange at midnight?” asked Lordy. Jack shrugged. “Hey, I have to maintain some standards you know.” “We want to come along,” said Smee. “Okay. In the meantime, anyone fancy a cuppa?” > Mist rolled up the dock as a nearby clock chimed twelve. A figure stood on a jetty, waiting as a dark shape floated closer. The only sounds were muffled orders and the splash of water as the ship pulled up next to the jetty. Ropes were flung out and various nautical activities took place, lashing the vessel to land. A gangplank was extended, and a sea-faring figure strolled over it, to confer with the waiting shadow. Jack examined something, and various packages were exchanged. The ship-captain nodded and strode back onto his boat, giving out sharp orders. Other shapes began to unload large boxes, piling them up on the jetty, under the watchful eye of Jack. As the final cargo was dropped onto land, another shape detached itself from the shadows. Jack whirled to meet it. “What are they doing?” hissed Soily, straining to see from his hiding place amongst some crates. “Don't push!” said Lordy. “Quiet both of you!” Smee commanded. “Keep still!” “That's okay for you to say,” grumbled Soily. “I would warrant you would be complaining if you had to hold an overweight mayor on your shoulders for half an hour.” “Get ready!” said Smee, ignoring him. “We will rush him on my command...” “Wait! There are more of them!” More shadows lurched forth, to stand behind the first one. “There must be twenty of them! We can't take them all on by ourselves!” Said Soily, peering through a crack. “Let me at em!” Growled Lordy, flexing talons. “Maybe we should wait, try following them,” Smee pondered, trying to get a better view. “Too dangerous, we could lose them, strike now!” Said Lord of the Night. “I think I want poo poo .” *The HEM Guild house, which was located on a space-time contimuum thingy, which is why Stoat got it so cheap. >>>>>> What do you think loyal IFians? Attack now? Strike at the leader? Wait and follow? Something else? I know I can rely on your suggestions here. <<<<<< _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author solus.serpen Respected Citizen Joined: 21 Jul 2006 Posts: 608 Location: UK Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sun Aug 13, 2006 6:57 am    Post subject: Great! a new chapter ! well... I think they should try and follow them until more suggestions are given . solus. _________________ Ogden the Octopus has hijacked my avatar image chapter 6 of DESTINY - a super old SG which won't continue...but there are a full 6 chapters if you feel like reading something with no ending! Back to top Author Key King Joined: 08 Feb 2004 Posts: 2652 Location: The Royal Palace Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sun Aug 13, 2006 12:03 pm    Post subject: I say follow them. Even if you could beat them in a fight, most of them would get away. Better fo find out their secret hiding place. Back to top Author Argonaut Mercenary Artist Joined: 11 May 2006 Posts: 344 Location: California Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sun Aug 13, 2006 6:31 pm    Post subject: I really SHOULD get a table well so far it sounds pretty logical to try and find the mysterious tea-buyers' hide out. On the other hand a good brawl with 20 people whose abilities (and identitys) are unknown is hard to pass up. Perhaps I can think of something more creative later. Back to top Author JezSharp Respected Citizen Joined: 18 Jul 2006 Posts: 592 Location: The middle of anywhere... Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Mon Aug 14, 2006 12:46 am    Post subject: Love this sg , definately f5 Key, they should follow them. Back to top Author The Meaning Of Fear Respected Citizen Joined: 06 May 2006 Posts: 980 Location: In a deep, dark corner of the universe, plotting. Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Mon Aug 14, 2006 1:46 am    Post subject: STRIKE NOW! But use a suprise weapon, ie. soily's poo poo. _________________ Cherish all your memories, even the bad ones, for they are what makes you who you are. Doors to the truth, an SG where a boy is propelled into worlds he is unfamiliar with. He crosses many worlds, and sees many things that force him to throw away his innocence, once, and for all. Fourth Chapter, out for viewing! Back to top Author LordoftheNight Revered IFian Joined: 11 Aug 2005 Posts: 5276 Location: Hell Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Mon Aug 14, 2006 11:35 am    Post subject: I would say attack them, and kill them all - including much flaying and eating. But then, I'm a daemon, so I would say that. Of course, we could always use Soily as a distraction, while Smee and I *cough* Sorry - while Kronan and Hive attack them from behind. Or the flank. Or something similar. _________________ Punishment leads to Fear. Fear leads to Obedience. Obedience leads to Freedom. Therefore, Punishment leads to Freedom. Ave Dominus Nox A Fronte Praecipitium a Tergo Lupi Blood Bowl Scraping the Barrel A Tale of Four Swords Passion Back to top Author Zeitgeist Guest Items Posted: Thu Aug 17, 2006 4:35 pm    Post subject: I say take the only real safe course of action... throw soily at them... while they are cleaning themselves have lordy ... um ... attack them, and kill them all - including much flaying and eating ... er I mean the flanking stuff.. Enjoying the story. Back to top Author The White Blacksmith Elder Joined: 02 Apr 2006 Posts: 2629 Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sat Aug 19, 2006 12:46 am    Post subject: I F5 Zeit. Cast a spell so Soily will see them as a toilet where he can go poo-poo. Disgusting, I know, but funny. _________________ Tea Cures All. Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Mon Aug 28, 2006 4:28 am    Post subject: Poll is up then. What's it to be? _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author The White Blacksmith Elder Joined: 02 Apr 2006 Posts: 2629 Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Mon Aug 28, 2006 5:48 am    Post subject: Woo! First vote! I'm not winning though... _________________ Tea Cures All. Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sun Sep 03, 2006 6:05 pm    Post subject: I am going to work on this one soon, so any further votes, get em in quick. _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author Idea master Magus Extraordinaire Joined: 10 May 2004 Posts: 1787 Location: Sneaking Idearium into your beverages. Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Mon Sep 18, 2006 10:22 am    Post subject: Missed the idea phase, darnit. Well, I voted for the distraction (Or will, when I'm done typing!) However, I've an idea. What if Soily accidently pushes the red button on the bracelet? You never said that the group took the things off. I'm very certain that said button will cause a large explosion, acting as a very good distraction. The only possible flaw would be that it would be staged upon Soily's wrist, possibly killing him, if such a thing were possible. After all, he is a shambling mound of soil, and as such, quite hard to kill. _________________ ...So I've been summoned back from beyond the veil. ...No plans yet. Back to top Author LordoftheNight Revered IFian Joined: 11 Aug 2005 Posts: 5276 Location: Hell Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Mon Sep 18, 2006 3:53 pm    Post subject: Quote: The only possible flaw would be that it would be staged upon Soily's wrist, possibly killing him, ....I see no flaw. It'd be funny. _________________ Punishment leads to Fear. Fear leads to Obedience. Obedience leads to Freedom. Therefore, Punishment leads to Freedom. Ave Dominus Nox A Fronte Praecipitium a Tergo Lupi Blood Bowl Scraping the Barrel A Tale of Four Swords Passion Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Mon Sep 18, 2006 4:12 pm    Post subject: I am sure we could manage something... _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Fri Oct 06, 2006 7:23 am    Post subject: Chapter 14 - Not with a Whimper... Chapter 14 - Not with a Whimper... “I think I have an idea,” said Lordy. “Smee, come down here a moment will you?” Smee grunted and climbed down, hushing several complaints from the Soiled one as he put his hands and feet in various anatomical parts. “What is it?” He asked, once down. “We attack,” said Lordy. “But there are loads of them! How do you expect us to get through that lot?” Smee hissed. “A distraction.” Lordy turned to Solomon. “Soily, show us your bracelet a moment would you?” Soily held his hand out. “What? What is it? Are you going to change my appearance again?” “You could say that,” said Lordy. He stabbed down and pressed the red button, which flashed and began bleeping. “That’s the self destruct!” shrieked Smee, albeit quietly. “Get him away from us, it will blow in less than 20 seconds!” “Whaaa?” Soily stood stunned for a moment, which was all the time Lordy needed to hoist him up, grunting as he did so, and throw him into the middle of the midnight meeting. “Mud in the hole!” shouted Lordy to Jack, who promptly went into shadow mode. There was a long earthy shriek as Soily sailed through the air, looking like the ground had decided to skip all the usual evolutionary steps and just start flying. The dark hooded figures followed the Flight of Solomon Birch as he wailed through the air, to come to an abrupt and dull sounding landing in the middle of them. The figures converged on the distraught mud-man, whose wailing was suddenly overwhelmed by a short high pitched tone from the bracelet. “Cover your eyes,” said Smee to Lordy. Lordy did so. There was a very loud squelchy sound and a bright light lit up the night sky. A large portion of the dock disappeared, replaced by a crater, and had it been light, a dirty colored mushroom cloud would have been seen rising above the river. Mud rained down over a wide part of IF, fertilizing plants for the most part. Some hit Rai, who was walking back home after a late meal*, causing her to swear as her best gown was splattered with it. Bits fell into Muaddib district, though if anything they made the place slightly cleaner. Geek Girl was looking over the old Cryptid’s Hall with Jez Sharp** when several large pieces smashed a window, making them both jump. Sat in his Jacuzzi Key looked suspiciously at a brown lump floating in the water. He shook his head. Couldn’t be. Back at the docks Lord of the Night shook his head, temporarily deafened by the explosion. Several figures were still standing, one of them appeared to be the one Jack had spoken to. The demon wasted no time, but leaped forth, talons extended, eyes glowing red. The suspect shrieked, and lifted a large stick, which belched fire. Lordy roared as the strange wand’s discharge hit him in the shoulder, but he kept coming. The cloaked figure turned and fled, and by the time Lordy had hacked his way through the remaining minions he had disappeared into the night. “Damn,” he said. “Lost him!” “Maybe not,” said Smee, and pointed down at a pair of muddy footprints. “Let’s go!” The two raced through the night, following the trail along the river a ways, then cutting over to the wrong side of the tracks, and into the seedy area of Muaddib district. Several of the girls waved as Smee went past, but he ignored them. The trail led to a narrow alleyway, and finally to a stout woodedn door behind a closed down Sleepeasy***. “Hah! We have him now,” said Lordy, cracking his knuckles. “Let’s go,” said Smee. He paused. “You first.” Lordy sniffed, but pushed on the door, which swung open with a creak. A narrow stairway led down, and a dull throbbing noise could be heard coming from below somewhere. The two crept forward, down the stairs and along a short corridor. They peered around a corner, to see a spacious yet gloomy underground room. In the center a strange machine whirred and pulsed with a blue light. “Idearium powered!” Hissed Smee. “It’s that infernal Mod machine! The rumors were true!” “It must be destroyed then,” said Lordy. “Such an abomination cannot be allowed to exist!” They moved into the room, towards the machine which hummed and throbbed. Halfway there a figure stepped into their path. “Come no further,” it said in the shadows. “With this machine my master will destabilize IF, bringing your precious council to its knees!” The person threw his head back and laughed the manical laugh of insane villains everywhere. “Foul evil,” Lordy said, and then paused. “Well, that has to be admired of course. Even so, I cannot allow you to keep this machine. Stand aside and wait in the corner, I will disembowel you later.” “You are too late,” cackled the hooded shape. “I have already used it! Even as we speak JezSharp, The White Blacksmith, Alegria, Jack, Lebrenth, Dinnerhen, Rai, Geek Girl, even the lowly Smudger have already been transformed! Once it reaches optimum power Chiacutie will be next!” “NOOOOOOOOO!” shouted Smee, and dived forward. In slow motion, ‘cos all the best action scenes have a slow motion bit, he flew threw the air, hand outstretched. From his palm a small but intense fireball leapt forth, heading straight for the Mod maker. The shadowy figure moved, but Lordy jumped and intercepted him. The scene paused as they met, both figures hanging in cool looking martial arts positions. The camera angle rotated 180 degrees and suddenly the action resumed at normal speed. Lordy’s claws sliced his enemies’ large wand in two, and a bite with extra sharp demon teeth ended the fight before it could begin, just as Smee’s fireball, which had been slowed down so the author could finish one of the villains off first, impacted the machine, causing the second large explosion of the night. An Idearium-fueled blue energy pulse spread out over Muaddib’s district which, being the district it was, resulted in fourteen new perversions being invented, two of them fatal. The Sleepeasy blew up, scattering wood and cheap building materials over a several block radius. Another mushroom cloud, this one a pretty luminescent blue, rose above the area. Unfortunately no one was looking, so the effect was completely wasted. > “Whaa..?” said Smee, waking up. “Rest easy,” said the furry orange figure sat next to him. “You had a bit of a knock there.” “Where am I? What happened? Is Lordy alright?” Smee tried to sit up, not easy when half his body was covered in bandages and plaster casts. “Oh he is fine. Demon skin is tough.” “How long was I out?” asked Smee. “My mayoral duties! I have to get up! Things to do!” Chinaren put a calming paw out. “Ah, yes. About that. Well, the thing is you were out quite a while.” “Quite a while?” “Several months in fact.” “Several months?” “Indeed, and I strongly resent the accusations that my medics kept you drugged and unconscious through the elections.” “Elections? What Elections?” asked Smee, struggling to keep up. “Mayoral Elections?” “Your term of office ended a little while ago.” Chinaren stood up and patted Smee’s arm comfortingly. “Don’t worry though, the good guy won in the end. You destroyed the Mod Machine, and Lordy finished off Evil Homer.” He winked and then rubbed the gold plated chain around his neck. “Now, you just get some rest. Someone will be in to check on you soon.” He smiled and sauntered out of the room. “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” *We don’t know who it was. **The record doesn’t show why they were both out there at midnight, but as City Councilors it had to be something dodgy. ***As they are sometimes called. In fact they are rarely they used for actual Sleep, though the people who inhabited the place can be described as easy, for the right money. >>>>>> Thus Smee was successful in his mission, and all the city changes were nicely incorporated, if I do say so myself. I think the people and city have changed so much since I started this story, that I will leave it here for now. Never fear though, Another Tale of IF shall come along in the future! Much to the distress of Powers I am sure. I hope you enjoyed this one! Cren. <<<<<< _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Last edited by Chinaren on Thu Feb 15, 2007 7:58 pm; edited 2 times in total Back to top Author The White Blacksmith Elder Joined: 02 Apr 2006 Posts: 2629 Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Fri Oct 06, 2006 8:53 am    Post subject: Great! Now, all you need to do is edit your siggy and the takeover will be complete... As I said, great! Only thing is... with the mod machine exploded, won't we (me an' the other new mods) go back to being *gulp* non-mods... Back to top Author dinranwen Guest Items Posted: Fri Oct 06, 2006 12:04 pm    Post subject: *In the corner, deep in the shadows a form imerges, drops a note, gets back into the corner disappering only to reapear somewhere deep, deep in the HEM district* To the honorable, not so beloved Mayor of If, Chinaren: Lovely little sg you have here, I couldn't resist reading it once I noticed that my name (or least something resembling my name) was mentioned. Found it....paricular, but in a good way. However, as Wiilhum Shockspere once said in a play of his "All's well that ends well" and this seems to have ended well enough. Lurking somewhere, *The note has been signed:* Back to top Author LordoftheNight Revered IFian Joined: 11 Aug 2005 Posts: 5276 Location: Hell Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Fri Oct 06, 2006 4:00 pm    Post subject: Quote: “You are too late,” cackled the hooded shape. “I have already used it! Even as we speak JezSharp, The White Blacksmith, Alegria, Jack, Lebrenth, Dinnerhen, Rai, Geek Girl, even the lowly Smudger have already been transformed! Once it reaches optimum power Chiacutie will be next!” Ahh, I knew there had to be a reason for you to be throwing power around like that, as opposed to giving it where it rightfully belongs. *preens modestly* Still, it explains a lot, such as what happened to Soily, and why Smee didn't stand again. _________________ Punishment leads to Fear. Fear leads to Obedience. Obedience leads to Freedom. Therefore, Punishment leads to Freedom. Ave Dominus Nox A Fronte Praecipitium a Tergo Lupi Blood Bowl Scraping the Barrel A Tale of Four Swords Passion Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Fri Oct 06, 2006 5:02 pm    Post subject: The White Blacksmith wrote: Great! Now, all you need to do is edit your siggy and the takeover will be complete... As I said, great! Only thing is... with the mod machine exploded, won't we (me an' the other new mods) go back to being *gulp* non-mods... hehe, I think the effects will last a while. Thanks for the comments guys, this was an enjoyable one to write. _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author Mother Goose Respected Citizen Joined: 09 May 2004 Posts: 511 Location: Connecticut Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Fri Oct 06, 2006 5:24 pm    Post subject: Enjoyable to read, too. Thanks yourself! Back to top Author Key King Joined: 08 Feb 2004 Posts: 2652 Location: The Royal Palace Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Fri Oct 06, 2006 7:00 pm    Post subject: Great ending, china Back to top Author Argonaut Mercenary Artist Joined: 11 May 2006 Posts: 344 Location: California Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sat Oct 07, 2006 12:08 pm    Post subject: Indeed, bravo, a fun time was had by all Back to top Author JezSharp Respected Citizen Joined: 18 Jul 2006 Posts: 592 Location: The middle of anywhere... Items Legends Fables Strata-gems Posted: Sat Oct 07, 2006 1:43 pm    Post subject: Yes, this has to be one of my favourite sg's China, great stuff and well ended Back to top Display posts from previous: All Posts1 Day7 Days2 Weeks1 Month3 Months6 Months1 Year Oldest FirstNewest First         Storygames Home -> The Vault All times are GMT - 8 Hours Goto page 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9  Next Page 1 of 9 Jump to: Select a forum Info Street - FAQs and Guides to the City----------------IF Technical Institute and FAQIFquirerWriter's Academy City Central----------------City AuditoriumOpen ForumThe City!The Market BizarreHall of DebateAdvertisement BoardAuditorium ArchivesOpen Forum Archives The Fantasy Forest - Fantasy Storygames----------------Storygames: FantasyMature Fantasy StorygamesThe Children of LeyondIs this Me?The Funny Bone: Jokes and Humorous PicsTempora CrepusculiSparkleStepsFantasy Tales of IF Skiffiville - Science Fiction and Experimental SGs----------------Storygames: Scifi and ExperimentalMature Sci-Fi StorygamesHeavy MetalSymphony's RequiemSector 17Heavy Metal v2 Manor of the Macabre - Horror, Mystery, and Suspense----------------Storygames: Horror, Mystery and SuspenseMature Horror StorygamesThe Hidden Crime Reality Road - General Fiction SGs----------------Storygames - General FictionMature General Fiction Linear Lane - Linear stories, Critiques and writing competitions.----------------Linear DistrictMature Linear TalesLinear LibraryCritique Corner.Writers' ArenaShort Story Avenue Multiverse - CYOA-style Interactive Stories----------------How to create your CYOA Interactive StoryMultiverse Stories Role Player's Den----------------Role Playing Announcements and General InformationMature Role PlayingRole Play Rules and RequestsOne-On-One Role PlaysGroup Role PlaysFan Fiction Role PlaysOut of Character Discussion Threads Word Game Way----------------Fun with words! Artistic Avenue - Poetry and Member Art----------------Poetry PalaceMature PoetryArt GalleryMature Art Gallery Stasis Hall - Completed or archived Storygames----------------The Wheel - The White QueenElection Oct 10The Archer's QuestThe Magician's TouchThe Wheel - The Fish That WalkedRunThe Wheel - The RamThe Wheel - The Machine's DaughterThe Wheel - The Twin PrinceIndelibleTrade WindowsThe 2009 IFYsThe WeatherwardenGrim ReapingEterna FamiliaMayoral Election April 2011The HuntGalleons of the StarsRhapsody in BlueDoors to the TruthWrathBarry the NormalConversations With a Dead FriendBittersweet ReverieElection October 09InterFable Stories - A Vampire's Quest - COMPLETEInterFable Stories - Bushido - COMPLETEInterFable Stories - When Stories Travel TogetherMayoral Election May 2012Election Oct 2011ArenaThe Time BeforeBattle to the End - Start Here!Battle to the End - The Master of Illusion and LightElection March 09Battle to the End - SpellsingerBattle to the End - Yahoo: Mind over MagicElection March 2013A Fronte Praecipitium a Tergo LupiTruthseeker - COMPLETEPirates, Vampires, and Ninjas, Oh My!Virtual - COMPLETEFinite Cosmos - COMPLETESheerluck Holmes - COMPLETESojourner's Journey - COMPLETEAbduction!Beyond the Horn - COMPLETEShadows of the MindIFY Awards 2007Good vs Evil vs money!Heroes Never PanicNo Good Deed...Tired of Death - COMPLETEThe Greatest Fantasy Story EverPillboxDear Dotty.First against the WallScrapyard - On holdLords and LadiesFabled Island - COMPLETEConfession Box - COMPLETEUnderdark - COMPLETEA Glass Friendship - COMPLETEElection Oct 08ElvendorAvarice - COMPLETEVengeance - COMPLETEThe Dark - COMPLETEThe Endless WallTo Pass a TorchRise of ShadowsThe ArchivesThe IFY 2006 ArchiveElection Apr 08Election Oct 07Election Apr 07Election Oct 06Election Apr 06The Vault  You cannot post new topics in this forum You cannot reply to topics in this forum You cannot edit your posts in this forum You cannot delete your posts in this forum You cannot vote in polls in this forum

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