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 Posted: Sat Jun 03, 2006 4:16 pm Post subject: Chapter 11: Seduction |
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:biggrin: Pillbox - Chapter 11
Seduction
"So what are you offering me?" asked Phantasy, one hand on her hip in a skeptical, yet sexy posture. "Let me guess. You want me to be a dancer, a showgirl, maybe one of your arm-candy girlfriends there." She flipped her wrist in gesture at the ladies standing next to him. "Maybe you want your own private hooker? Is that it?"
"A heh heh," chuckled the short, slender man in the yellow polka dotted suit, drawing out the last "heh" in a sly, cynical, patronizing tone. "My dear," he continued in his wry speech, "there's a million and one girls in Vegas who would gladly take such an offer. If those were the kinds of roles I was looking to fill, I'd just pick up any ol' tramp."
Phantasy felt a strange sense of disorienting vertigo for a moment as she saw little to no reaction from the ladies who accompanied him. Shouldn't they have taken that as an insult? Rather, they continued to blankly stare at her with joyless smiles plastered onto their chiseled visages, as if they were here, but weren't, like puppets on his arms.
"My interests go beyond the usual man's tastes," he continued sardonically, "into realms beyond the mundane." Upon completing this statement, his blonde left eyebrow raised as if to question if she were growing more interested in his mysterious proposal.
Hmm... he’s not exactly the usual guy in a suit you'd meet in Vegas is he? Not your usual pervert anyhow, Phantasy mused to herself. "Alright then, what's in it for me?"
"Ahh, so you are interested, eh?" The man's voice made her imagine she was speaking with a weasel of linguistic talent.
"Maybe. Who are you? How did you know who I am? Did you see me at the club recently?" Phantasy wasn't ready to be bought quite yet.
"Lady, lady, one question at a time please? Why don't you follow me up to my private suite and we can talk about this where there aren't any," he rolled his eyes right and left, then returned his icy gaze to hers, "ears stumbling through our conversation, listening to things they'd rather know nothing about?"
Glancing around the room, Phantasy realized that their standoff hadn't gone unnoticed. There were still some interests being shown from the crowd who'd recently been impressed by the display at the craps table. Nodding, she followed him across the bewildering carpet of the casino floor, under the artificial stars of the interior night sky.
The man's female companions flawlessly continued at his side with the grace of gazelles. Though seeming to be mentally distant, they responded to his turn without missing a beat.
There's something not right about those two, thought Phantasy, beginning to fear that somehow she might end up as blank minded as they.
Following with the wary steps of a cat on the prowl, Phantasy passed through the various gambling regions of the casino, crossing catwalks to the base of the hotel towers, to end up at an elevator, opening for her guide as she arrived. She cautiously escorted the three companions into the elevator and up, up, to the top of the 'Roman' tower. Inlaid marble flooring greeted them as the elevator doors rolled into the open position. Soft, warm lighting from elegant brass lamps guided their way into the top-level lobby, from which only three ornate doors could be accessed.
The flamboyantly dressed gentleman produced a card and slid it along a reader next to the door. With a gentle click, the door unlatched and gracefully swung open, revealing the single largest hotel suite that Phantasy had ever been privy to see.
Despite the polished sandstone flooring, the place was wonderfully homey. The walls and ceilings were a rich beige. Orange and black tables and chairs were nicely dispersed throughout the entrance room, which looked more like a living room, complete with a couch, comfortable looking recliners, a huge flat screen High Definition television, and an incredible view of the Las Vegas strip from on high. A large tapestry, ancient in style, depicting a war of Roman conquest, hung between the two adjoining rooms, concealing the kitchen and bedroom regions beyond. Sculptures adorned the rooms, busts of Caesar, and cherubs carved into the tops of the walls, in the corners, lining the ceilings.
Prancing over to a plush recliner, the man twirled his purple top hat from his head and flung it onto a hook in the corner of the room. The dark haired vixen swayed over to an ornate countertop, uncorked a dark brandy wine and drizzled the liqueur into wineglasses for all. With a snap of his fingers, and a flick upwards at the edges of his lips, the lights dimmed and a sorrowful wailing of violins filled the air. The intoxicating scent of poppies wafted through the room, filling Phantasy with a delicate euphoria.
Plopping down into his recliner, the man flung up his fancy booted feet and motioned for Phantasy to sit across the coffee table from him. Seating herself in a velvety soft, cushioned chair, she noted that, arrayed between them were intricately carved ivory and jade chess pieces on an equally ornate board. Poised for battle, neither side had yet to make a move.
Curling up on the velveteen couch to the side and between them, the blonde haired cutesy aluringly crossed her legs, maintaining her distant gaze and blank smile.
A long few moments passed as the man's sky blue eyes probed Phantasy. Remaining poised, she, again, probed his thoughts in return. Both seemed locked, unable to read the other.
Returning with filled wine glasses, the ravenhaired mistress passed them around freely, and then took her place next to her partner on the couch, leaning just as gracefully against the opposing arm.
Breaking the silence, the man stated, "So you asked me a few questions a moment ago. What were they? Ah, yes, who am I?"
"That's right. I'm at a disadvantage here. You seem to know who I am quite well enough, but I have never heard of you before" Phantasy replied.
"Yes, I don't get out too often these days. The owners of the casinoes don't appreciate me playing the floor unless I make rare and prior arrangements."
"Why is that?"
"Because I always win," he said with a smug smile.
"Always?"
"Yes. Always. It is literally impossible for me to lose."
"You know how to cheat that well do you?"
"Cheat? I don't cheat... not in the conventional sense. Darling," he turned to the blonde beauty on the couch, "would you be so kind as to grab me an unopened deck of cards from that table over there?" Without hesitation, the blonde nodded, still smiling, and quickly retrieved the item of interest.
As the golden haired female carried out her retrieval, Phantasy asked, "How can you always win if you don't cheat?"
Accepting the sealed deck, the man replied, "It defies nature doesn't it? Here," he said, throwing her the cards, still bound in plastic wrap, "open them and shuffle them well." His toothy grin gave her the creeps.
Unwrapping the packaging, she pulled forth the deck, separated out the cover cards, and began shuffling. She'd never been a student of casino gaming, but she could nevertheless shuffle quite efficiently, having practiced often as a child playing solitaire, and, on occasion, WAR! with her brother. As thoughts of her loss crossed her mind, her heart nearly came to a stop in her chest, a lump catching in her throat. Closing her eyes, and focusing on the present moment, she pulled herself together long enough to complete her task.
Casting her deep eyes upwards at him to indicate she'd shuffled to her heart's content, the man said, "Alright then, pick one. Hell, pick three, from anywhere in the deck."
"Hmph," she replied, "alright." Selecting three random cards from the deck, careful not to reveal them to anyone, even herself; she held the cards face down against her ivory legs.
"Ok, what would you bet that I can guess all three of them and in what order you have them in?"
"I'm not a betting girl," she answered, "but I'd be rather surprised if you did!"
"Alright then, King of Spades, 4 of Diamonds, and 9 of Diamonds, in that order, from top to bottom. Just a guess," he smirked, "of course."
Gently lifting the cards up to where she could see them, she noted that he was completely correct, with no deviations. Mildly surprised, Phantasy immediately started flipping through the deck, searching for any sign of foul play. The deck seemed to be a normal set of cards in every way. Could he count cards that well? she wondered.
"Hmm," she mused out loud, "You can do this every time? Not that I can say I know how you do it, but I'm sure there's plenty of magicians out there who can fake out anyone with similar tricks."
"Sure, I know... Most people take a bit more time to realize that its real. We're all skeptics aren't we? I was a skeptic too once." A dark look crossed his face at this comment. "Hon, would you get me that unopened pack of casino regulation dice over there?"
Returning with the pack of dice he requested, the blonde finally returned to her place on the couch.
"Here," he sneered as he tossed Phantasy the package, "try this then."
Carefully inspecting the dice packaging, Phantasy found it to her approval and tore it open to grab at the dice within. "Alright, what now?"
"I'm going to close my eyes and you're going to cast them onto the carpet in front of you. Before I open my eyes, I will tell you what the total of the two dice are, and what each of them reads."
"Ok, fine."
Leaning his head back, tightly sealing his eyes, deepening the crow’s feet in his face, the man awaited Phantasy's roll.
"Very well, then," she stated, having tossed the dice at her feet, "what are they?"
"The total is eight. The first die is a two and the second is a 6," opening his eyes but keeping them on the ceiling, he asked her in a tone dripping with cynical amusement, "Is that it?"
Shocked, she hesitantly replied, "Y-yeah... that's it alright." Phantasy scrunched up her face quizzically as she read the dice results.
"Oh really... wow, I'm right again!"
"Another trick!" Phantasy was feeling a bit flustered at this point. "You must have ordered specialty dice!"
"Oh? Keep rolling them, honey; they rarely roll the same result. Why? Because they are Standard Casino Regulation Dice, impervious to 'cheating'!" The man was betraying a hint of frustration and impatience.
"Ok, then, look," Phantasy offered, squinting her eyes defiantly, "I'll believe you on one condition."
"What’s that?" the man replied with a wicked grin.
"I picked up a random object off of the street earlier tonight. I gave it to a passerby who'd taken note of my... charms. Got 'im off of my case. If you can guess what it was, I'll believe you. Or at least I will respect you as a psychic or something."
"Oh, no, its just luck, honey, just luck. It would have been rather lucky to have found a black casino token from the Luxor casino, especially considering that most people keep careful not to lose such things, eh?" Rolling his eyes and looking over towards his ladies, he loudly asked, "Am I right?"
"What did you say your name was?" asked a stunned Phantasy.
"Lucky," he replied simply, flicking his gaze back to her.
"Lucky?" she asked to confirm.
"Yep... just that... Lucky. I have a more formal name, but the man I was when I used that name is long gone now. Only Lucky," he used his hands to gesture down his body, "remains."
"Lucky, huh... Ok, then," she drew out the name, "Lucky, why am I here? What are you really offering me?"
As the alcohol in the glass she'd been sipping began to take effect, the room took on a red hued fuzzy glow, gently painting the edges of her vision a dark crimson. His icy blue eyes gradually began to glow like a blue neon lamp in a dark hall. She hardly took notice of the distinct absence of women lining the couch.
"You've suffered so much." spoke a smooth, deep, erotic voice, rumbling forth from the man's mouth, a voice unlike the normally high pitched, nasally tone she'd grown accustomed to hearing from him.
Not sure if she was imagining the gentle vibrations she felt rocking her body, she couldn't help but remain enraptured by his cool blue eyes, wide and glowing, piercing deep into her soul.
"How...," she stammered, surprised by an increasing sense of vertigo, "how do you know?"
"I know you Brenda," the seductively masculine voice issued forth to resonate deeply in her chest. "I've known you for a long, long time." Patiently, the voice spoke.
"Wha?" Brenda hardly took notice of the darkening of the world around her, being locked into his gaze as if in a trance, slowly all the world faded to a crimson coal like hue, and she felt herself drawn into a tunnel, the light at the end being his eyes, his luminous eyes.
"You want your brother back don't you Brenda?" The voice spoke so deeply, so erotically, she could feel her tummy quiver, her skin moistening in arousal. Her breath seemed pulled from her chest, gently, like the inhalation of a lover, locked in a deep kiss. Her muscles surrendered to the shuddering forces surrounding her, gently massaging her in deep places.
Tears were torn from her eyes, falling down the tunnel towards those luminous blue orbs before her. Visions of wilting flowers crumbled in the winds of the tunnels, turning to dust and swirling out towards the light. "Yes... I miss him with all my heart." Her voice echoed out into the void around her.
"I can bring him back to you Brenda. I can send you to him." Each word spoken brought warm chills spiking like thunder through her body. "Would you like that? Would you, Brenda? Is that what your soul most desires?" As he spoke the word 'soul', she felt as if a string pulled at a deep place within her chest.
"Alas, he is dead, and will never be mine to know again!" Tears flowed like a river spiraling down into the vortex. All things in her knowledge were twirling into his eyes, those radiant eyes! A warm wind coursed across her ears, blowing into the tunnel, her hair billowing out to reach deeply inward, towards the source of the lights.
"His death is a lie," the voice boomed through her. Deeply, she knew... this was truth. Something within had denied the message of her brother's death, something within screaming that he was still alive. "However," the voice continued to orgasmically wrack her body, "he is beyond reach and will forever be denied to you. Unless..."
A long pause in the vortex brought her will to face him, "Unless WHAT???" she screamed!
"Unless," he reverberated, “Unless you give to me the most precious gift you can offer."
"WHAT DO YOU WANT!" she yelled, caught in the vortex of emotional turmoil.
"I want from you, what I took from Timothy here... the one you now call, 'Lucky'"
"What? Servitude, Sex?" She pleaded for his reply.
"Brenda Mack," the voice said, lifting her into frenzied sexual oblivion, "I want your SOUL!"
The message boomed forward, a shockwave rippling through her, sending her hair flying back, as if the vortex suddenly reversed thrust.
"Are you CRAZY," she cried, "MY SOUL??? I'm not sure exactly WHAT that is but it most CERTAINLY WILL NOT BE YOURS!"
"Brenda, Brenda," the voice persisted, "think of your brother!"
Images suddenly flashed through her mind, her entire life's worth of experiences with her brother filtering through her consciousness in a split second, leaving her with an even deeper pit of loss within.
"Ha ha ha ha HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! I AM YOUR ONE AND ONLY SOLUTION BRENDA! ONLY I CAN BRING HIM BACK TO YOU! ONLY I CAN GIVE YOU WHAT YOU WANT! Furthermore," the voice shifted into a calm and gently seductive tone once again, "if you agree, I will make you powerful over all men, immune to their manipulations and their might and their force. Remember the pain you felt back then Brenda? Isn’t it time for you to be the one in control?" Images from painful memories flashed through her again, relentlessly marauding her psyche like a whip lashing her repeatedly, drawing blood, but failing to stop until only bone remained. Over and over the scenes repeated, repeated as they had her whole life, in times of dark loneliness and suffering despair.
"I can give you revenge, Brenda, REVENGE!"
"NOOOO," Brenda screamed against the wind, defiant against the seduction, "what about..."
"GOD?!? Where was GOD when you were being raped and beaten Brenda? Where was your precious GOD then??? Where was GOD when they took your brother away from you Brenda? Where is your GOD NOW?!?!?" His voice lashed forth at her in a rage that warmed her to the bone. Images continued to flash through her mind, and before long, Brenda Mack, a woman who had long ago lost her will to be pure, began to give in, to surrender to the seductions, to the persuasions.
The future played out in her mind, a future of loneliness, abandonment, regrets, powerlessness, hopelessness and despair, a future knowing her brother lived, forever hoping to find him, forever being denied. She knew she only had one choice.
What will it be?
Last edited by Ravagerrr on Sat Jun 10, 2006 4:14 pm; edited 5 times in total
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Ravagerrr
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| Posted: Sat Jun 03, 2006 4:22 pm Post subject: |
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Ok, a bit different this time around... not Mack's side of the story. I'll pick up with him next week. In the mean time, feel free to vote on chapter 10 and discuss and decide here in chapter 11.
What do you think of having an another character being given a decision point? I raised the question with Lordy and Lotus and got some good feedback from them. I'm considering splitting Phantasy off into her own parallel storyline... would you, as my readers, want that? Or should she stay here in the main story? Do you want to continue to have decision points for other characters or should we just stick to Mack? It's up to you.
Its also now up to you to decide whether Brenda will give up her soul or not... Have fun!
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LordoftheNight
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| Posted: Sat Jun 03, 2006 4:33 pm Post subject: |
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| Quote: | | Phantasy realized that they're standoff hadn't gone unnoticed. |
Should be their.
And of course - who wouldn't give up their soul when offered the chances, especially for something like that.
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The Powers That Be
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| Posted: Sat Jun 03, 2006 8:55 pm Post subject: |
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Another nice chapter, Rav. I'm on record as voting for a different story for SGotM, but I'm still happy you won. Your writing isn't quite as polilshed (yet), but you've got some real creativity and descriptive imagery working. I particularly like how Satan (or whoever) knows exactly what buttons to push with Phantasy to tempt her.
| Ravagerrr wrote: | | What do you think of having an another character being given a decision point? I raised the question with Lordy and Lotus and got some good feedback from them. I'm considering splitting Phantasy off into her own parallel storyline... would you, as my readers, want that? Or should she stay here in the main story? Do you want to continue to have decision points for other characters or should we just stick to Mack? It's up to you. |
No, it's really up to you. You own the structure of the story. I don't see why decision points should be limited to a single character. I like the way you're weaving stories together. I also don't think you need to split things as formally as, for example, Smee has done in The Time Before. Again, you decide on the structure - I'm very comfortable with the choices you've made so far.
| Quote: | | Its also now up to you to decide whether Brenda will give up her soul or not... Have fun! |
I actually think she's stronger than that. This is just another man (or two men) trying to manipulate her, as so many have done before. She's been down that road and she knows where it leads. She's too experienced and cynical to fall for it so easily. I mean, a man is trying to convince her that he'll give her power over men as long as she submits to him. No, she won't go for it.
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chiacutie
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| Posted: Sat Jun 03, 2006 10:34 pm Post subject: |
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I think she should give in- It would make a good story, right? Or maybe pretend she gave in but then put like a twist in there..?No thats too cliche....
Eh, I dont know what Im talkin about!
 jenny t
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Shady Stoat
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| Posted: Sat Jun 03, 2006 10:54 pm Post subject: |
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Another good chapter Rav 
I'm with Powers here. Surely Brenda hasn't forgotten those vapid arm-candies, trailing around after Lucky? There's no way she'd put herself under the sway of an entity that had the power to do that to her - but seemed to need her consent to do it.
Anyway, I think she'd want to try out a couple of more traditional ways of finding her brother before she blindly trusted that she'd never be able to find him on her own.
She may be sad at the moment, but she sure doesn't come across as an emotional weakling, ready to take the first offer that comes along, no questions asked
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chiacutie
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| Posted: Sat Jun 03, 2006 11:12 pm Post subject: |
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| Shady Stoat wrote: | Another good chapter Rav
I'm with Powers here. Surely Brenda hasn't forgotten those vapid arm-candies, trailing around after Lucky? There's no way she'd put herself under the sway of an entity that had the power to do that to her - but seemed to need her consent to do it. |
But think how much potentially good writing he has going here!That is, like, the equivalent of oil in The U.S. right now!
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Smee
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| Posted: Sun Jun 04, 2006 2:42 am Post subject: |
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Good chapter Rav.
She's been told that her brother lives, and as the entity/man really seems to want her soul in exchange for being reunited with her brother, I think she can trust that it is true or the deal would be broken by the lie.
What could be a lie though, is that she could never find him - that holds no impact on the deal, and smacks of the manipulations she's experienced time and time again from men.
I agree with Powers and Stoat - she's going to at least try to find him her way first.
--
As for splitting characters into own threads - I'm obviously a fan. I like seeing a story from different perspectives. It does ask more of your readers though. You'll be asking them to make decisions from the point of view of one character, knowing that they know things that character wouldn't know yet.
For example - I know that Brenda probably will have practically no chance of finding her brother given the secrecy of the government. But I still think, from her point of view - she'll try, which is what I'll vote for.
It can be tempting for readers to vote to make the story unfold how they think will be exciting reading, rather than for the character reasons you explain in chapter. But that's not always a bad thing.
It's a choice you'll have to make for your story.
Happy Writing 
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Sun Jun 04, 2006 5:24 am Post subject: |
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I am happy to see two threads, I copied Smee's idead for Greed after all.
Anyway, I don't think she would give in that easily. Part of her life has been rejecting/ignoring/resisting the blandishments of men, and this is just another one of those examples.
Nice chapter Rav, I enjoyed it. Also ridiculously good forum av.
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Araex
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| Posted: Sun Jun 04, 2006 9:25 am Post subject: |
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| Nice chapter Ravman. I think she won't do it - I mean, I know she knows that Mac is alive, and she also doesn't know what the soul is, but then there's the fact that it would just be submitting again. As everyone else has said.
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Solomon Birch
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| Posted: Sun Jun 04, 2006 12:03 pm Post subject: |
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I agree with the others. She is stronger than that, and is used to dealing with men who seek to overpower her. Also, those vacant women are not a good sign. Surely she could put two-and-two together and decide its not a good plan.
Also, though I don't think it would degrade the story splitting the thread up, I don't think it's neccesary at all, and I actually prefer it like this. It makes that two stories seem more linked, and breaks up the two different arcs nicely. Of course, tis up to you in the end. :biggrin:
*holds breath* 
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Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9
Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3
The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3
One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3
Green Eyes - Chapter 5
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DukeReg
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| Posted: Sun Jun 04, 2006 5:38 pm Post subject: |
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I agree that she should absolutely refuse. In addition to the reasons offered, she was raised in America, where from a young age she was exposed to the Christian stories. She would instantly associate this voice with Satan, and have the weird stuff going on around her as confirmation. Then of course there is the voice's admission that he took Lucky's soul. Losing your soul is a fate worse than death, and selling it to the devil is the worst possible crime. Even if she is cynical and jaded, this would still be something ingrained from childhood.
There is no way she could agree to give up her soul under these circumstances.
Now that she believes that he is alive, she will gain strength from her determination to find him, no matter how unlikely.
As for multiple points of view, it is a good idea. It has the added advantage of allowing you to run multiple chapters at the same time.
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The Meaning Of Fear
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| Posted: Sun Jun 04, 2006 7:52 pm Post subject: |
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Ooooooooh. Poor girl... 
*Puts on best hypnotic voice*
Giiiiive iiiin toooo theee seduuuction, Breeeendaaaaa....
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Doors to the truth, an SG where a boy is propelled into worlds he is unfamiliar with. He crosses many worlds, and sees many things that force him to throw away his innocence, once, and for all. Fourth Chapter, out for viewing!
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| Posted: Mon Jun 05, 2006 4:53 pm Post subject: |
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I don't think she can resist, because as said in the chapter, she had already given up BEFORE even meeting Lucky.
If the devil is offering her to see her brother, then she should know that she can't find him on her own. I mean, if the devil is offering it, its not something she can get on her own through normal methods.
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 Chapter 5: The Rendezvous 
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The Powers That Be
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| Posted: Mon Jun 05, 2006 5:01 pm Post subject: |
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| D-Lotus wrote: | | If the devil is offering her to see her brother, then she should know that she can't find him on her own. I mean, if the devil is offering it, its not something she can get on her own through normal methods. |
The devil lies. Not always, but often. It would be just like him to offer something that seems otherwise unattainable, only to discover later that you could have had it anyway.
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DukeReg
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| Posted: Mon Jun 05, 2006 5:45 pm Post subject: |
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| lordofthenight wrote: | | It's only bad if you believe in a soul. Lucky lost his, and it doesn't seem to have any negative effects on him - why should it for her? |
I disagree.
I don't believe in an immortal soul, but I would automatically distrust anyone who believed they could take mine from me in exchange for promises of power.
As for negative effects, apart from satan being able to possess him at any time, and being quite strange, you are probably right.
On the other hand, if she doesn't believe in souls (and we don't know that she doesn't!) wouldn't this obvious power demanding that she give him her soul convince her that they might exist? She seems smarter than Lucky was...
Oh well, voting will settle it one way or another.
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Ravagerrr
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| Posted: Tue Jun 06, 2006 7:47 pm Post subject: |
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OMG! THREE NEW PLAYERS??? COOL!! Welcome in y'all... can't say how much I appreciate an increased audience, and from some of the best posters on IF! I'm flattered!
I'm loving this debate! Keep it up... I can think of more reasons for both sides but I don't want to further sway opinions here.
I do have a question though. If she refuses, you can expect a counteroffer. Something along the lines of... alright then, if not your soul, what would you be willing to give? Name your price... I'd love to include this as part of the poll options... a number of No, she won't give her soul BUT Yes she would give <fill in the blanks with your ideas>.
Understand he's going to look for her to give something very important to him if not her soul. The more important to her, the more it might work. Her time, her efforts, some sort of contract. He won't likely stop with her until she names a price he's willing to accept, unless she outright rejects any dealings with him at all, which, considering what he's offering, would be hard to pass up.
As for the multiple points of view issue, I agree with what some have said, that it feels better to me to continue to occasionally provide another character with a Decision Point, but not to order it so rigidly, and I think it could be grossly overdone very easily as well. So thats what I'll do... you'll never know which point of view you'll be voting on until the last paragraph... (usually Mack I would assume, but character popularities may drive selections)
Ok, thanks for the best feedback yet! Carry on!
Carry on!
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Solomon Birch
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| Posted: Wed Jun 07, 2006 12:51 pm Post subject: |
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Hmm.... this could be seriously fun! 
How about her legs. Or arms. Or looks. That could be good.
Or one of her senses....
If... if she loses her legs or arms, then gets to her brother, he can persuade them to make her into a super-person as well! A hot one!
WOOO! :biggrin:
*holds perverted breath*
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Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9
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The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3
One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3
Green Eyes - Chapter 5
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CunningFox
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| Posted: Wed Jun 07, 2006 7:43 pm Post subject: |
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i like this split chapter format.
Also agrree with everyone else I dont think she would give in so easily. If she was offered more though...
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The Meaning Of Fear
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| Posted: Wed Jun 07, 2006 11:32 pm Post subject: |
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Give her body. 
Ya know......*nudge nudge wink wink* 
Tee hee.
BTW, hi foxy. I don't think i've seen you around.
~Holds even more perverted breath~
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Doors to the truth, an SG where a boy is propelled into worlds he is unfamiliar with. He crosses many worlds, and sees many things that force him to throw away his innocence, once, and for all. Fourth Chapter, out for viewing!
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Ravagerrr
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| Posted: Thu Jun 08, 2006 7:30 pm Post subject: |
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TMOF, by giving him her body, do you mean giving him a child? hmm...
I've gotta add some thoughts in here for a moment...
Excerpt from a conversation between Lordy and I:
Me: So far no one has considered that she might be willing to bargain with making someone ELSE a sacrifice...
Lordy: Such as who? Surely she can't sacrifice someone else? I was thinking more along the lines of a talent, or a memory or perhaps siphoning off small portions of her soul
Me: Surely she could... people have been sacrificed to the devil throughout all of history! Perhaps she can't get him their souls... but lives are worth almost as much.
Lordy: I think that's even less likely - that she'd go and kill someone, to get her brother back... If she's not prepared to lose her Soul I mean
Me: Besides... the lives of those who are going to his realm anyhow... those lives mean souls when they die, unless they repent in the meantime, making the hasting of their deaths of great value to the devil...
AND(in response to Lordy's last comment)
hmmm... yes... but as he has brought up... she has some hated enemies from her past, no?
Lordy: Still - hating someone is one thing, killing them is something else
Me: justice is yet another
Lordy: She's alive isn't she - how could she justify killing someone?
What do you think?
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Shady Stoat
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| Posted: Thu Jun 08, 2006 9:49 pm Post subject: |
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I tend to agree with Lordy. She probably won't want to fall into any of the obvious traps, now that she's seen that her soul is on the line. She's a survivor and, though she needs what's being offered here, she'll try to get the best deal she can.
Phantasy is used to trading her body, so I think that's what she'd offer first. Just as Lucky is being used to bring her into temptation, perhaps she could offer her services as a temptress herself? If she's one of the prizes on offer when the devil goes soul-hunting, then perhaps they'll give in more easily?
Or, she could put off the decision by saying she'll owe the devil a favour? That could be an interesting write, and I'm fairly sure that he'll call in that favour at a very interesting time... 
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The Meaning Of Fear
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| Posted: Thu Jun 08, 2006 11:12 pm Post subject: |
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| Quote: | | TMOF, by giving him her body, do you mean giving him a child? hmm... |
You're not as perverted as some of us, so you might not get it...
I F5 Stoaty. Oweing to the devil will make it very interesting indeed...
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Cherish all your memories, even the bad ones, for they are what makes you who you are.
Doors to the truth, an SG where a boy is propelled into worlds he is unfamiliar with. He crosses many worlds, and sees many things that force him to throw away his innocence, once, and for all. Fourth Chapter, out for viewing!
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Solomon Birch
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| Posted: Fri Jun 09, 2006 2:21 am Post subject: |
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Yes, I don't think she would help him kill anyone else, as that would just make her morally lose her soul. Offering something she really values, like her looks perhaps, as she uses that to earn her living, instead of her soul.
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Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9
Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3
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One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3
Green Eyes - Chapter 5
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Lordy
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| Posted: Fri Jun 09, 2006 4:12 am Post subject: |
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But if she loses something physical, it would also end her employment - she may not like it at the moment, but it's all she has, and I doubt she'd throw it away so quickly.
I'm still in favour of losing memories - such as in the Never Ending Story - for getting her brother back, and gradually losing her soul, although she doesn't know it.
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The Meaning Of Fear
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| Posted: Fri Jun 09, 2006 12:38 pm Post subject: |
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I like lordy's idea.....
Maybe she could give....hmmm....Hey, I know! She could trade the devil her body, but she can still walk the Earth. Something of a ghost, but none of the silly moanings. Then she could ask the devil where her bro is and float to him....
Or she could just sleep with the devil, like my original perverted idea.
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Cherish all your memories, even the bad ones, for they are what makes you who you are.
Doors to the truth, an SG where a boy is propelled into worlds he is unfamiliar with. He crosses many worlds, and sees many things that force him to throw away his innocence, once, and for all. Fourth Chapter, out for viewing!
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LordoftheNight
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| Posted: Fri Jun 09, 2006 3:00 pm Post subject: |
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Why would the Devil accept that - everyone knows the Son of the Morning could have any mortal he choose - he was the most beautiful of God's angels afterall.
And that's not to mention the literal army of damned souls and daemonesses, all of whom would willingly lession their sentance for a tryst with the Prince of Darkness.
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Ravagerrr
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| Posted: Fri Jun 09, 2006 3:02 pm Post subject: |
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Exactly... but a son or daughter... hmm...
Yes TMOF, I got it... but for the reasons Lordy just stated, I thought it would be a weak offer.
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The Meaning Of Fear
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| Posted: Fri Jun 09, 2006 5:08 pm Post subject: |
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Lordy has a good point.
But he would know such things, since he's a demon himself 
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Cherish all your memories, even the bad ones, for they are what makes you who you are.
Doors to the truth, an SG where a boy is propelled into worlds he is unfamiliar with. He crosses many worlds, and sees many things that force him to throw away his innocence, once, and for all. Fourth Chapter, out for viewing!
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Araex
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| Posted: Sat Jun 10, 2006 2:15 am Post subject: |
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| My first thought was that she would siphon off some years of her life... such as cutting her life down to a mere five more years or something.
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Ravagerrr
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| Posted: Sat Jun 10, 2006 4:05 pm Post subject: |
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Ok, I'm putting a poll up, but I need ya to read the next chapter before voting... some of the discussions here made their way into further negotiations...
I did not include the following options because the Lord of the Morning Star wouldn't accept them as they are either worthless to him or counterproductive to his plans for her:
A)Body parts (goes against his plans)
B)Looks (goes against his plans)
C)Sex for the sake of lust (worthless to him)... for the sake of a child would be acceptable...
D)Giving up her body to become a ghost (goes against his plans)
I appologize to those who wanted these options, but I need to have a resolution to the bargaining and selecting these would only prolong the haggling.
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The Meaning Of Fear
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| Posted: Sat Jun 10, 2006 5:08 pm Post subject: |
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Voted and winning 100%!
WHo Friking cares if i'm first voter???
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Doors to the truth, an SG where a boy is propelled into worlds he is unfamiliar with. He crosses many worlds, and sees many things that force him to throw away his innocence, once, and for all. Fourth Chapter, out for viewing!
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Ravenwing
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| Posted: Sat Jun 10, 2006 6:42 pm Post subject: |
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I am of the mind that Brenda still does not want to go with this deal. Based off of her response, she still doesn't trust this being.
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DukeReg
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| Posted: Sat Jun 10, 2006 6:49 pm Post subject: |
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I voted that she should tell him to go back to the fiery depths from whence he came, and Fork himself, i.e. stab himself with his satanic pitchfork. That would be more painful than what you were thinking, right Rav?
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Sat Jun 10, 2006 8:12 pm Post subject: |
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I don't think she would be stupid enough to believe him. Also, he has said that her brother is reaching out for her, which would lead her to believe he is looking for her, and can and will find her.
Tell him to take a running jump...
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Ravenwing
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| Posted: Sat Jun 10, 2006 10:56 pm Post subject: |
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A big one. No a small one, so then he can return to the fiery depths he came from.
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The Meaning Of Fear
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| Posted: Sun Jun 11, 2006 12:02 am Post subject: |
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I'm beaten! Nooo! 1 to 3!!! NOOOOO!
But telling the demon to fark off seems interesting, too.
It's like one of us here says fark off to lordy...
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Doors to the truth, an SG where a boy is propelled into worlds he is unfamiliar with. He crosses many worlds, and sees many things that force him to throw away his innocence, once, and for all. Fourth Chapter, out for viewing!
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Solomon Birch
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| Posted: Sun Jun 11, 2006 12:23 am Post subject: |
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Offer to bear him a child. Cos I'm messed up like that...
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"Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot
Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9
Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3
The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3
One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3
Green Eyes - Chapter 5
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The Meaning Of Fear
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| Posted: Sun Jun 11, 2006 12:30 am Post subject: |
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WOOT! FINALLY SOMEONE WHO IS MESSED UP! YAY!
Hey soily, you wanna join the messed up gang?
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Cherish all your memories, even the bad ones, for they are what makes you who you are.
Doors to the truth, an SG where a boy is propelled into worlds he is unfamiliar with. He crosses many worlds, and sees many things that force him to throw away his innocence, once, and for all. Fourth Chapter, out for viewing!
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Shady Stoat
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| Posted: Sun Jun 11, 2006 12:54 am Post subject: |
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I'm not over-fond of any of the offers, to tell you the truth. Personally, if I was a cynical weaselly woman like Brenda (not that I could ever be like that, of course! ), I'd want to stall the Devil while I worked out what I could find out on my own.
I mean, I wouldn't reject the offer outright, because the Dark Lord might very well be telling the truth when he says he's her only route to her brother. But accepting an offer on the spot, without looking at the full spectrum of opportunities? That's just dumb - and, whatever else she may be, Brenda isn't dumb.
If she has to reject him, do so. He won't be gone for long, in any case. The Devil doesn't give up so easily. A show of strength may very well force a better offer from him when he returns, anyway
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The Powers That Be
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| Posted: Sun Jun 11, 2006 7:56 pm Post subject: |
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I'm not loving this whole idea of the negotiation. I just have a hard time envisioning Satan haggling over details of how much is enough. I don't think it serves the story particularly well, either - makes Satan seem petty. Maybe it's just me, though.
Which means, I guess, that I'm voting for the forking.
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Ravenwing
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| Posted: Mon Jun 12, 2006 11:54 am Post subject: |
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But even telling the guy to fuck off shows a sign of strength. Like you said, the Devil doesn't give up that easily. Besides I am sure he will be back.
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Ravagerrr
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| Posted: Fri Jun 16, 2006 8:27 am Post subject: |
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| One more day to vote, then both polls should play into the next chapter!
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| For power over men and reuniting with her brother, what would Brenda be willing to trade? |
| What the hell... give the bastard her soul... |
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0% |
[ 0 ] |
| Offer him as much of her life essense as would keep her alive past 5 years from the present... |
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0% |
[ 0 ] |
| Offer the sacrifice of all memories to date... |
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0% |
[ 0 ] |
| Accept his counteroffer, the slaying of the 5 men who have raped her, and the performing of an espionage mission for him, with the bargain including that he will never take her soul under any circumstance... |
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0% |
[ 0 ] |
| Offer to do just the mission alone, and owe him a favor later, provided he cannot ever have her soul... |
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0% |
[ 0 ] |
| Offer to bear him a child... |
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33% |
[ 3 ] |
| Tell him to go back to hell and F**k himself! |
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66% |
[ 6 ] |
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| Total Votes : 9 |
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