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Lady of the Shadows
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 Posted: Sat Mar 07, 2009 6:03 pm Post subject: The Chosen - Chapter Three, up now! |
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This is my first attempt at a story game. I don't think there will be a DP seeing as it is only the prologue....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"It is time. The Stars have shown us the Chosen."
Cloaked figures were bent over a round table, staring at the object in the middle with unwavering concentration. Suddenly, simultaneously, they straightened up and turned.
They organised themselves so that they were in a perfect single-file line before they moved towards a heavy oak door. The door itself was a grand sight that portayed wealth and status of the figures, with carved patterns and pictures.The leading man placed his palm gently against the wood, and automatically, the door opened to reveal a bare, golden corridor.
Without looking back or making any sound at all, they passed through the doorway. Once, out they rearranged their positions so they created a V. In a perfect synchronised manner, they threw off their hooded cloaks and dropped into a shallow crouch, their bodies changing, rippling.
They grew fur and claws, sharp fangs protruded from their gums. Then their bodies stopped changing. With one lengthy howl, the pack of wolves broke off at a run.
*****
The boy looked around quickly before he stepped into the back alley that would take him to his street. He looked young, but he seemed to have a courageous demeanor that no one his age could match.
He had walked through this alley many times and he had managed to assure his mother that it was perfectly safe. This time it was different. The boy could feel something was wrong, something bad was about to happen. He started to quicken his pace, but he stopped dead when saw the pack of wolves in front of him. They were standing in a V shape, and their eyes were glowing.
"Wolves," the boy mouthed to himself.
There wasn't supposed to be wolves in Australia - was there? Even so, these wolves didn't seem normal. They were too... human. As he stood there, numb with shock, the wolf that seemed to be pack leader stood up and - to the boy's disbelief - became human. The man regarded him critically with icy blue eyes. He was a gaunt man, very tall and old. He opened his mouth to speak.
"Yes, you are who we have been looking for. What is your name, boy?" When the boy didn't answer he demanded again, "What is your name? You have a mouth, SO USE IT!"
"My name is Xavier, sir." The boy answered. There was no trace of fear in his voice.
"Very well. You may call me Nathael. I am the leader of the Order of the Lycanthropic People. The Stars have shown us the Chosen, a figure who plays an important part in a very important prophecy. The Chosen will become a lycanthrope and he will fulfill the prophecy."
Xavier looked bewildered. "You mean you're a werewolf? But that's impossible! Wait a minute - what prophecy?"
Nathael's lips curled slightly. "Yes, we are werewolves as you put it. Our prophecy is one we lycanthropes treasure. The Chosen, of human birth, shall be Changed, and he shall save us all..." Nathael's voice died away slowly.
"This is all very nice to know, but why are you telling me this?" Even as Xavier asked the question, a cold fear closed around his heart.
"Why, can't you see? I would have thought you'd worked it out by now. You are the Chosen. Lycanthropes, Change him."
The wolves rushed forward.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Okay, so that was the prologue. It isn't very good and it's really short but it's only my first. There isn't really a DP but if you have any suggestions about the way the sgame should go....
_________________
Childhood is measured out by sounds and smells and sights, before the dark hour of reason grows. - John Betjeman
If you look long and hard into the deep of the abyss, you will find me. In the last rays of the lingering sun, you will find me. But I will not return to you yet.
Last edited by Lady of the Shadows on Fri May 01, 2009 10:14 pm; edited 8 times in total
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DeadManWalking
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| Posted: Sat Mar 07, 2009 8:56 pm Post subject: |
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Nice!
And FINALLY a werewolf story. We get too many vampire ones. (not that I'm saying Vampire stories are bad, It's just that enough of them around and You kinda get that oh my god another one? attitude)
Pretty nice idea, leaves you curious as to what the prophecy actually is.
Small beef though. You put in wolf/man a couple times and I do understand that you don't want to type werewolf just yet. But i think it might be better if you just describe him as man, or figure, since we already have seen that he was a wolf. And he's not exactly a wolf any more is he?
I think, if you want to be adventurous, you might even throw a shapeshifter in there once or twice.
_________________
When the dead walk, the living run.
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HiddenHeartsCry
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| Posted: Sun Mar 08, 2009 9:59 pm Post subject: |
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This is good. Very interesting start. 
I will say one thing though, when you type a new paragraph hit enter twice, just to be sure it breaks more clearly. It'll make it much easier to read.
_________________
"Write in the dark and watch your words take on a whole new light." HiddenHeartsCry
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Smee
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| Posted: Mon Mar 09, 2009 3:54 am Post subject: |
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Hey M'lady,
Great to see you start straight away into your first Storygame.
HHC makes a good point about the spacing - it can put people off when faced with what's known on the internet as a 'wall of text'.
Below I show you how I would space it. Other recommendations are to try a slightly larger font for your actual story text. Size 14 seems to work nicely, but that's not such a big deal.
| Quote: | "It is time. The Stars have shown us the Chosen."
Cloaked figures were bent over a round table, staring at the object in the middle with unwavering concentration. Suddenly, simultaneously, they straightened up and turned. They organised themselves so that they were in a perfect single-file line before they moved towards a heavy oak door.
The door itself was a grand sight that portayed wealth and status of the figures, with carved patterns and pictures.The leading man placed his palm gently against the wood, and automatically, the door opened to reveal a bare, golden corridor. Without looking back or making any sound at all, they passed through the doorway.
Once out they rearranged their positions so they created a V. In a perfect synchronised manner, they threw off their hooded cloaks and dropped into a shallow crouch, their bodies changing, rippling. They grew fur and claws, sharp fangs protruded from their gums. Then their bodies stopped changing. With one lengthy howl, the pack of wolves broke off at a run.
*****
The boy looked around quickly before he stepped into the back alley that would take him to his street. He looked young, but he seemed to have a courageous demeanor that no one his age could match. He had walked through this alley many times and he had managed to assure his mother that it was perfectly safe. This time it was different. The boy could feel something was wrong, something bad was about to happen. He started to quicken his pace, but he stopped dead when saw the pack of wolves in front of him. They were standing in a V shape, and their eyes were glowing.
"Wolves," the boy mouthed to himself. There wasn't supposed to be wolves in Australia - was there? Even so, these wolves didn't seem normal. They were too... human. As he stood there, numb with shock, the wolf that seemed to be pack leader stood up and - to the boy's disbelief - became human. The man regarded him critically with icy blue eyes. He was a gaunt man, very tall and old. He opened his mouth to speak.
"Yes, you are who we have been looking for. What is your name, boy?" When the boy didn't answer he demanded again, "What is your name? You have a mouth, SO USE IT!"
"My name is Xavier, sir." The boy answered. There was no trace of fear in his voice.
"Very well. You may call me Nathael. I am the leader of the Order of the Lycanthropic People. The Stars have shown us the Chosen, a figure who plays an important part in a very important prophecy. The Chosen will become a lycanthrope and he will fulfill the prophecy."
Xavier looked bewildered. "You mean you're a werewolf? But that's impossible! Wait a minute - what prophecy?"
Nathael's lips curled slightly. "Yes, we are werewolves as you put it. Our prophecy is one we lycanthropes treasure. The Chosen, of human birth, shall be Changed, and he shall save us all..." Nathael's voice died away slowly.
"This is all very nice to know, but why are you telling me this?" Even as Xavier asked the question, a cold fear closed around his heart.
"Why, can't you see? I would have thought you'd worked it out by now. You are the Chosen. Lycanthropes, Change him."
The wolves rushed forward. |
As for the prologue itself. I like it. You get straight into the action and it is interesting.
It could perhaps cope with a little more description, you get through the entire transformation in about 2 sentences. Although maybe you are saving the lengthier description of the change for our main character here.
He too could do with a little more description. You give a good line about his demeanor, but what about his hair colour, his clothing... we know little about him.
I look forward to reading more, and finding out what this prophecy is about.
Happy Writing 
_________________
The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the Devil's own Satanic Herd!
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Lady of the Shadows
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| Posted: Mon Mar 16, 2009 1:10 am Post subject: The Chosen - Chapter One is up! |
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Here's chapter one.... it would have been up earlier if my internet hadn't stopped working.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chapter 1
Humans are so oblivious - and predictable, 16 year old Tenaia thought as she strolled up the shallow hill, watching the accused humans talk amongst themselves. Two elderly women spotted her and their voices dropped to a whisper, but with her unnaturally good hearing, they may as well have been yelling in her ear.
“Look, there’s that girl, who lives in number 47. What’s her name again? Tania, Tina?”
“I remember her name is quite unusual, Spanish, maybe. Oh! I remember now, it was Tenaia or something like that.”
“Yes, that’s it. She is quite strange, isn’t she? Always so quiet, and… grave. She almost looks forbidding, as if she hates the idea of letting anyone into her life. I wonder if she has any friends.”
“I was talking to my granddaughter the other day and she didn’t seem to think so. She says all the girls at school disapprove of her. Personally, I’m not surprised. Look how she’s staring at us! Do you think she can hear us?”
Tenaia hadn’t even realised she was looking in that direction. If only they knew... But they couldn’t know. They didn’t believe in her kind. There were stories, which were rarely true, of men that turned to disfigured wolves at full moon, with blood dripping from lupine fangs, who recoiled in pain from the mere touch of silver.
But if the humans knew the truth, they would know that Tenaia became the exact image of a wolf, not a misshapen version. They would know that her eyes glowed but no blood would appear on her fangs unless there was no other available choice; that silver was harmless, but bloodstone could paralyse her and her kindred – some could not stand in the same room as it before they started to lose control of their bodies.
The werewolves healed fast, but the one wound that would not heal was one made from a knife of black obsidian. They were able to dictate when they Became, though most were unable to resist the lure of the moon at its fullest. The deadliest secret that the lycanthropes kept locked up, however, was their existence. Humans could not know of them, they had to believe they were a creation of fiction, or their lives would be at stake.
Tenaia sighed as she reached the front door of her house. This was the reason she didn’t let any of the humans close. If she did, she may let her secret slip accidentally. She couldn’t hide the existence of the werewolves for long, and even if she did, she would feel guilty about the web of lies she would have to weave. She pushed all thoughts of humans aside.
“Mum, Dad, I’m home!”
“Okay, honey, I’m in my workshop. Your father is in here too.” A woman’s voice could faintly be heard from the somewhere over the on the other side of the house.
The house was modern and fancy, but nonetheless cluttered with junk. Tenaia’s mother, Kyria, was an artist, both in occupation and personality. She was a perfectionist, and she regarded aesthetics very highly. She was, however, too caught up in “unreasonable deadlines” and the “artistic world” that she had no time to clean up the space around her.
Samiel had a similar job to his wife Kyria. He was an archaeologist, and he specialised in unlocking the mythological side of the artefact. He was extremely interested in ancient art, so he often came home with strange things that pleased Kyria. They didn’t please his daughter nearly as much.
Tenaia referred to herself as a musician. She had a soft, melodic head-voice, and could play both piano and guitar with unbeatable skill. She saved her chest voice for gigs, because it was the kind of voice people preferred to listen to. She also hated mess.
Carefully avoiding ancient urns, canvases, and paint buckets, Tenaia weaved her way through the house and headed for the workshop. She passed a mirror from the hall and caught sight of her reflection.
She had her mother’s dark brown eyes, full mouth, and slender, willowy frame but her wavy mahogany hair resembled her father’s. Like all werewolves, she had a thin yellow-green band around the edge of her pupils.
The workshop was a small room that nobody had had any use for. Now, Kyria used it to work on her newest masterpieces. It had originally been planned to be a games room, so the door and floors were made of polished cedar.
At first the walls hadn’t been painted, but now the games room was an art workshop, there were many small patches of colours which were Kyria’s samples. Canvases and multiple types of art supplies were strewn all around the room.
Tenaia knocked on the door hesitantly. Her mother didn’t like people to just barge in, in case she was in the middle of painting and they startled her, causing her brush to slip and ruin the painting.
“Come in, honey.” Kyria called. She sounded pleased. Tenaia wondered if it was because she had completed a painting and was relieved to be finished. Tenaia opened the opened the door and stepped inside.
“Hi Mum. Hey Dad.” Samiel looked up and smiled.
“Hello, Nai. How was school?” He asked. He was expecting the answer that would follow.
“Pointless, as ever.” Samiel’s smile widened. He exchanged a quick glance with Kyria and opened his mouth to speak, but his wife cut in before he could even make a sound.
“Hon, we got a call from the Order today. They said that they wanted to speak to you about something important. They said tonight.” Tenaia swallowed the lump that was rising in her throat. The Order of the Lycanthropic People never called upon an individual unless it was an urgent matter, and if they ever had to they usually called upon adults.
The Order was more like a council. They were the leaders of the pack, and they often kept to themselves, making sure their secret was safe and that the lycanthropes themselves were free from any danger.
“Oh, okay, cool. Where do they want me to meet them? What do they want to talk about?” Kyria had raised an eyebrow to her blasé attitude, but understanding was clear in her eyes when she spoke again.
“I have no idea what they want. They didn’t tell us, so we’re assuming it’s strictly confidential. You’ll be telling us when you get back of course,” she joked. “They want to meet you at Lycanthia. They need you to be there in about an hour, before opening times.”
Lycanthia was a nightclub that was for the werewolves only. Tenaia knew everyone that ever went there and she had been offered many gigs. Tenaia and her musical talent were famous there.
Tenaia thought about it for a while. The nightclub was only about a fifteen minute drive away, half an hour on bike and an hour to walk. If she walked, she could skip her homework; if she rode her bike, she could stop to get something to eat and still skip her homework; if she rode, she would have to do home work for forty-five minutes.
“You can get there early; they said an hour at the most. You could even call up Lycanthia and ask to perform a few songs. You probably don’t feel like doing any homework, what with such an important summons from the Order.” Kyria said innocently, as if she had been reading her mind. Sometimes, Tenaia believed she really could.
“Actually, that’s a great idea. Thanks, Mum.” She left the room hastily and rushed to the kitchen where the phone was.
*****
“Hello, Lycanthia Nightclub, Jechua speaking.” The voice sounded puffed out from running.
“Jech, hi. It’s Tenaia. How are you? Why do you sound so out of breath?” Jeshua was the 18 year old barman.
“Oh, hey, Nai. I’m good, yeah. I had to run to get to the phone. So, what can I do for you?”
“What, Kirsch isn’t in?”
“Um, no. I mean, he’s here, but he’s outside.”
“Why?”
“Oh, um, I’ll tell you later Nai. So what’s with the call?”
“Yeah, well, I’m coming round in about an hour, and I was wondering if maybe I could have a gig? Just for tonight. I know it’s a really last minute favour.”
“Are you going to tell me why you’ll be here in an hour, well before opening time?”
“I think you already know, Jech. Besides, I have a feeling that why Kirsch is outside instead of in his office has something to do with why I’m coming.”
There was a pause. “Okay, so I do have the basic idea, but not the whole story. I’m guessing you don’t know either, right?”
“Right. So, what about the gig?”
“Just let me ask Kirsch. Hold on two seconds.”
“Okay.”
While Jechua ran to ask Kirsch, the owner of Lycanthia, about the gig, Tenaia drummed her fingers against the phone.
“Nai, you still there?”
“Of course. Yes or no?
“We’ve actually got Hunter’s Arrow booked in tonight, but come along and we’ll see if they’ll let you play with them, or something.”
“All right. See you soon. Bye, Jech.” Thoughtfully, Tenaia hung up, and headed to her room.
*****
The sun was still up when Tenaia got to the nightclub. It was an old looking building, but inside Lycanthia it was huge, mainly because the floor between the basement and the first floor had been taken away and the basement extended. The ancient look was a disguise so that it would not attract attention from the humans.
A short, stocky man was standing at the door, looking formidable. The sunlight lit up his greying, mousy brown hair. When the man saw her, his expression changed to a weary smile.
“Hey, Kirsch, what’s up?” Turning around to wave her father she called, “Bye Dad, I’ll call you when I need to be picked up.”
As the car disappeared around a corner, she turned back to Kirsch.
“Hello, Hero. The Order is waiting for you inside.” Kirsch said to her affectionately. He had always taken a liking to him. Tenaia smiled in return at his special nickname for her. He called her Hero because, as he jokingly insisted, without Tenaia and her music there would be no Lycanthia.
“Thankyou. Erm, Kirsch, why are you standing outside? And, why is the Order here?”
“I don’t know, Hero. I’m out here because they kicked me out so that they could talk to you alone, and they want me to make sure nobody comes inside until they’re done talking to you.”
“Then why is Jech in there?”
“He was setting up, he insisted on setting up while they waited for you in case you ran overtime and when the club opened they would be ready instead of making people wait longer. Remind that lazy-boned barman to get his fat bum outta there when you get in okay?”
Tenaia grinned. “Sure thing.” She adjusted the strap of her guitar case and was about to enter Lycanthia when Kirsch grabbed her arm. She searched his face. His mouth was set in a hard line and his green eyes were blazing. Whatever he was going to say, he was deadly serious about it.
“Tenaia,” he said in a low, frightening voice. Kirsch never used her real name unless he wanted her to pay extra attention to exactly what he was saying.
“Heed my warning and heed it well. The Order of the Lycanthropic People are what have given us this relatively easy life, know that. They keep us safe, so when they ask us to do something for them, it is what little we can do to repay them. However, I want you to be careful. There are too many people who love you for you to be reckless. Be polite, don’t speak until spoken to, don’t interrupt, and, for God’s sake, listen to them. These people are higher authority, and you cannot afford to make them angry. They have the power to do anything they want, and while they do not abuse that power, there is a first for everything.”
Kirsch released her arm, which had begun to lose its circulation. He looked at her with sorrow and anxious concern and said, this time gently,
“Go, child. The Order does not like to be kept waiting.”
There is a first for everything. Kirsch’s words echoed in her head as she opened the door and stepped inside, rubbing her sore arm. Something about what he had said frightened her.
Tenaia had never seen him so – so… serious, almost deadly even. She could feel his gaze as she closed the door behind her.
She spotted Jechua straight away. He was polishing glasses with a ragged cloth, but he looked up as he saw her. He was tall, with honey coloured hair and a welcoming face. They exchanged fleeting but genuine smiles.
“They’re in the conference room, leading from Kirsch’s office.” He said with badly contained nervousness.
“Thanks, Jech.” She turned to go, but she stopped to add something. “Oh, and Jech? Kirsch said to tell you to scoot out, now, ‘kay?”
Jechua grinned, but then his grin disappeared. “Are you nervous?” He asked softly.
“What? There’s nothing to be nervous about! But, yes, I am. Very.”
*****
She turned the door handle into the conference room with sweaty palms.
“Welcome Tenaia. I am Nathael. This is the order.” A voice rang out, a voice that sounded like it would belong to someone of very high authority. And indeed it did.
The room was small and quaint, with a fire blazing at the back wall. It didn’t look like a conference room, more like a small living area. There was a small TV and two large red couches in the middle, where the elderly figures sat. Though they looked old, their bodies thrummed with energy and wisdom.
“Hello, sirs. It’s very nice to meet you all.” She sounded a lot braver than she felt; she had mustered up every ounce of courage to say just that line.
“Let’s get down to business, shall we?”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What is this 'business'? Why does the Order want Tenaia? Will Tenaia listen to Kirsch's warning or will she do something that makes them angry? How will Tenaia react to what the Order wants?
If you think this DP needs improving let me know. I found the original DP planned took too long to get there.
_________________
Childhood is measured out by sounds and smells and sights, before the dark hour of reason grows. - John Betjeman
If you look long and hard into the deep of the abyss, you will find me. In the last rays of the lingering sun, you will find me. But I will not return to you yet.
Last edited by Lady of the Shadows on Sat Apr 04, 2009 6:44 pm; edited 1 time in total
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DeadManWalking
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| Posted: Tue Mar 17, 2009 5:17 pm Post subject: |
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Hmm...
Well the last time i read a werewolf book one of the main character was a girl who was being forced into an arranged marriage with a guy she hardly knew to keep the bloodlines pure.
Soo... let's not go with that hmmm?
I think the most obvious one would be to show Xavier the ropes, be a friend, whatever. The Order would want someone his age to keep track of him.
_________________
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scissorkitty
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| Posted: Tue Mar 17, 2009 5:40 pm Post subject: |
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I'm thinking that her nickname, Hero, might be more than just a funny moniker. Maybe the Order have a place for her in the prophecy... some sort of protector for Xavier.. maybe they are assembling a GROUP of individuals that all come into play in the prophecy?
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Crunchyfrog
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| Posted: Fri Mar 20, 2009 2:35 am Post subject: |
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Hmmm. Difficult one, this. Not being that familiar with werewolf lore, I'm winging it a bit here.
The prologue ended abruptly:
| Quote: | "Why, can't you see? I would have thought you'd worked it out by now. You are the Chosen. Lycanthropes, Change him."
The wolves rushed forward. |
- So perhaps whatever happened immediately after this point ended up in them failing to change Xavier. He's still stubbornly human, and does not want to change, so Tenaia is their desperate 'Plan B' to change him.
I say that in order to do this she must seduce him and kill him to effect the 'change', but for whatever reason she can't bring herself to do it, thereby angering the Order.
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Gallant
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| Posted: Fri Mar 20, 2009 8:10 am Post subject: |
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Seduce? I thought Xavier was just a boy! 
Hmm, lemme think. I like the idea of her being some sort of bodyguard. The only catch with that is why the hell would they get a newbie in to do the job of a pro. Although maybe they've chosen her because there isn't anyone her age of whatever. Maybe she's needed to go on some pilgrimage type thing. I'm guessing she was born Lycan and not changed. Maybe that's a rare commodity, there are many many variables.
I have a rather gigantic plot idea for you ticking around in my head, but it's your story. I think it should be some sort of pilgrimage, in the outback though for whatever reason, no roads, just desert.
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Crunchyfrog
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| Posted: Fri Mar 20, 2009 12:29 pm Post subject: |
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| Gallant wrote: | Seduce? I thought Xavier was just a boy!
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Ah, so he is. Then replace with befriend. But the important part of this option is to lead to a potentially powerful situation of whether to sacrifice a friend for the good of her people. 
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Fri Mar 20, 2009 3:40 pm Post subject: |
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| Gallant wrote: | Seduce? I thought Xavier was just a boy!
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Maybe he swings that way. Don't leap to conclusions. 
_________________
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Lady of the Shadows
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| Posted: Sat Mar 21, 2009 1:16 am Post subject: |
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Hey everbody
The poll is up! And if anyone feels like shouting at me: The poll's up too soon! well, go ahead! 
_________________
Childhood is measured out by sounds and smells and sights, before the dark hour of reason grows. - John Betjeman
If you look long and hard into the deep of the abyss, you will find me. In the last rays of the lingering sun, you will find me. But I will not return to you yet.
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Gallant
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| Posted: Sat Mar 21, 2009 6:02 am Post subject: |
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Don't worry Lash, it's not up too soon at all. Infact I think your timing was perfect, we have all the suggestions and you didn't give us a chance to get fidgety waiting for the poll. Now everyone vote, I want the next chappie!
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scissorkitty
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| Posted: Sat Mar 21, 2009 6:05 am Post subject: |
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oo@! tie!c possible combo of results!!!
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The White Blacksmith
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| Posted: Sat Mar 21, 2009 7:22 am Post subject: |
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Voted. This is an excellent story, by the way. Just wanted to know whether we're going to get any information on how common these werewolves are. For there to be enough for a werewolves-only nightclub there has to be a fair few, but you make it sound as though they're quite rare.
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Lady of the Shadows
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| Posted: Sun Mar 22, 2009 11:23 pm Post subject: |
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Yeah, you will find out more about the werewolves, rarity, all that. Hopefully, some of it should be in the next chapter, but you will get some answers !
Also, I can't say I have much time on my hands, or I'd be lying, but I will try to get the chapter up as quick as I can when I close the poll.
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If you look long and hard into the deep of the abyss, you will find me. In the last rays of the lingering sun, you will find me. But I will not return to you yet.
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Lady of the Shadows
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| Posted: Tue Mar 24, 2009 9:53 pm Post subject: |
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Poll's closed!
Majority votes that we're going with the idea that Xavier is still human, and Tenaia has to fix that!
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Childhood is measured out by sounds and smells and sights, before the dark hour of reason grows. - John Betjeman
If you look long and hard into the deep of the abyss, you will find me. In the last rays of the lingering sun, you will find me. But I will not return to you yet.
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The Meaning Of Fear
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| Posted: Thu Mar 26, 2009 12:18 am Post subject: |
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Wow! Wow! And some more wow!
I don't think there was ever a werewolf story on IF, so this is a bit of a new experience for me. Quite an enjoyable read, this one. I've been a bit lazy lately and my focus just flies away when I try to read something, but a couple of sentences into this I just went with it happily.
Since I can't do anything about the poll, being closed as it is, perhaps we can all think up some possible reasons why the Change didn't work? Just something to keep this thread occupied before the next chapter comes in.
Here's a couple:
1) He fought them off!
2) The boy is special... He can resist lycanthropy?
3) Someone else took him away. Anti-lycan people? Vampires? Exorcists? The Pope?
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Doors to the truth, an SG where a boy is propelled into worlds he is unfamiliar with. He crosses many worlds, and sees many things that force him to throw away his innocence, once, and for all. Fourth Chapter, out for viewing!
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Lady of the Shadows
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| Posted: Thu Mar 26, 2009 12:52 am Post subject: |
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Just curious, but if you could have voted, what would you have chosen? Not that I will ask that everytime a poll closes and someone comments afterwards....
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If you look long and hard into the deep of the abyss, you will find me. In the last rays of the lingering sun, you will find me. But I will not return to you yet.
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scissorkitty
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| Posted: Thu Mar 26, 2009 5:05 am Post subject: |
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Ooo. I like Meany's suggestions about WHY the Change didn't happen.. what went wrong, exactly?
Do you already have this plotted out, LOTS? or... is this something we get to stick our cents in about?
or.. it could be... ANOTHER POLL! *lol* I'm poll happy today.
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Lady of the Shadows
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| Posted: Thu Mar 26, 2009 9:15 pm Post subject: |
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Sure, go shoot!
I haven't had any time so it hasnt been properly started, so I you want to give suggestions.....as I said, shoot!
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Childhood is measured out by sounds and smells and sights, before the dark hour of reason grows. - John Betjeman
If you look long and hard into the deep of the abyss, you will find me. In the last rays of the lingering sun, you will find me. But I will not return to you yet.
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Lady of the Shadows
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| Posted: Sat Apr 04, 2009 6:43 pm Post subject: |
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Ok, so, this has been a little late coming but here it is!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chapter 2
Tenaia felt her throat go dry. Something in Nathael’s tone made a shiver crawl up her spine, some unfamiliar emotion that she couldn’t interpret. Nervously, she gave him a small nod.
“First, sit down.” When she had done what he asked, Nathael continued, “You are familiar with our prophecy, are you not? Well, we ask you here to talk to you about it. We have found him. We have found the Chosen.”
Tenaia could only sit incredulous. Choked noises of surprise and glimmering hope escaped from her throat.
Nathael seemed not to hear her. He was staring at the fire, eyes glazed and unseeing.
“We confronted him in a back alley, to be sure that he wasn’t seen. We told him about his part in the prophecy, and then we attempted to Change him. Take note that I say attempted.
“You have probably heard tales that those in the Order have the ability to Mindspeak, as well as receive messages from the stars. It is part of the ancient magic that created us, you know that.”
Now Nathael looked at her. His eyes held a wistful sadness that was barely concealed under his screen of composure. “Tomorrow I will need talk to you again, and I will give you more of an insight towards our history. But for now, we haven’t the time.
“As I said, we tried to Change the Chosen. He put up a fight, but he isn’t strong enough to defeat Children of the Moon. We performed the procedure as it is to be done. But…”
The ‘procedure’ was simply three bites. One in each cephalic vein, and one in the jugular vein. This was not what happened to Tenaia, however. She was a Trueborn, someone who inherited their lycanthropy from their parents.
“But?” She insisted. “But what? What happened?” She knew she was acting like a child, but she couldn’t help herself. The prophecy was important, she knew, and she was dreading bad news.
Nathael’s face went still, expressionless.
“We failed. Somehow, for the first time, we failed to Change a human. Xavier remains stubbornly human.”
“Xavier. Is that his name? The Chosen’s?”
Nathael hesitated, before changing his tone from reflective to business-like. “Yes, Xavier is his name. We did not know how this occurred, so we consulted the stars. We didn’t find a direct answer. We were told that we needed to get someone to fix this...problem. The Order believes that we needed a Trueborn, to properly Change him.”
“A Trueborn? But why only a Trueborn? What’s wrong with a Changeling werewolf?” Tenaia broke off, hit with a startling realisation. “Wait a minute. You – and the rest of the Order – are all Changelings, none of you are Trueborns?”
A shadow of annoyance passed over his face briefly, as well as something else – malice?
“We are not Trueborns, yes. We are Changelings, as you put it so crudely.” Nathael’s voice was cold as he stared down at her.
“We are Changelings, but that doesn’t change the fact that we are the Order, the leaders of our race, Tenaia.”
As if sensing a disastrous outcome, another of the Order, a man who reminded Tenaia of Little John in Robin Hood stood from where he was seated. The man stared at Nathael fixedly. Then he sat back down.
Nathael, seeming to have calmed down considerably, continued, “I’ll be as straight with you as I can. We need you to Change Xavier, Tenaia. You’re a Trueborn, you’re his age, and… we think we caught a glimpse of your face in the message the stars showed us. That’s why we need you. I wasn’t going to say that, but we don’t have anymore time.”
Tenaia sat in a stunned silence.
“Tomorrow I will need you to come to the Moon’s Hall and meet me in the library. Six o’clock, if you please.” There was no offer in the statement, just a polite command. “Now go. Xavier will meet you later tonight. I expect that he will be safe staying with you.”
Tenaia stood up and walked to the door dazedly. As she reached for the door handle she heard a voice say quietly behind her,
“Under no circumstances can he go home. Do everything in your power to prevent that. If you fail, there will be consequences.”
Tenaia shivered, and gratefully left the room.
*****
She was smiling at the screaming crowd before her, her face lit up with the stage lights. Her mahogany hair swayed as she danced to the beat of her music, strumming her guitar and singing.
Tearing his eyes away from the face of the girl on the stage, he took in his surroundings.
He was in some sort of nightclub. The place was lit with coloured lights, apart from the stage, which had spotlighted the lead singer, the girl, from every angle. Behind her was a band, men looking about ten years older than her.
The crowd was loving the music. They were dancing and singing along, and with every move they made, it was evident that they loved this place. With difficulty, he tried to ignore the excited screams.
But what Xavier couldn’t ignore was the feeling that lay churning in the pit of his stomach. Something here wasn’t right. In fact, something was horribly wrong.
*****
Tenaia had just finished her fifth song with Hunter’s Arrow when she saw him. The Chosen was standing at the back of the room, curiously investigating the room with silver eyes.
He was tall, with brown hair. He had a sort of courageous air about him, from the way he stood proud, to the way he held his head high, as if he was on equal footing with the creator of the world.
She felt anger rise in her throat. How could he expose himself in front of the werewolves like that? How could he?
She murmured a false excuse to the band, which had willingly let her perform with them, and made her way off the stage. Feeling the crowd’s eyes on her, she headed for the bathroom, hoping to give them a false lead.
After waiting a while behind the door, she made her way to the back of the room. Nearing her target, she crept up from behind and covered his mouth with her hand, viciously jerking him round, shoving him toward the storage room.
“What do you think you’re doing?” she hissed as soon as the heavy door shut behind them. Releasing her grip on him, she pushed him away.
“Hi, I’m Xavier, nice to meet you too,” he replied with a glare.
“I know you’re name,” Tenaia spat. “I also know what you are.”
“I’m an ordinary human being, like you.”
“I’m not a human, you stupid fool. And while you may be human, you’re pretty damned special.” Her teeth were bared in a wolfish snarl. Realisation lit up Xavier’s eyes, which was quickly replaced with a fury almost equal to Tenaia’s.
“You’re one of them, aren’t you? A werewolf. They tried to Change me. Apparently I hold a very important part in their little prophecy. So why am I still human? That must have been an unpleasant surprise for your stupid Order.”
Tenaia felt a cold rage stir inside her. Unable to help herself, she lunged at Xavier, knocking him back against a shelf.
“Lucky for you,” she breathed, her arms pressed against his neck tightly, “this room is soundproof. Now, let’s get a few things straight. One, never insult the Order in front of any werewolf, never in your life, or you’ll find yourself dying a slow and painful death.”
Xavier’s face was turning slightly red, but Tenaia went on mercilessly.
“Two, the only thing that’s stopping me from killing you right here, right now, is the fact that you’ve been saved by our ‘stupid Order’. Three, how reckless can you be to practically put yourself on display, in a werewolf only nightclub? Humans aren’t supposed to know about us, and you are undeniably human.”
“I – I didn’t know!” Xavier managed to choke out, with effort. Tenaia loosened her grip, but only to a miniscule fraction.
“Of course you didn’t know, because you’re one of the oblivious, all mighty humans. Well, it’s time to step down from your pedestal, my Lord, because as it turns out, you’re not so high and mighty after all.” On that note, she let go of him, watching with cold eyes as he slumped to the ground.
“And four?” Lying on the floor, panting heavily, he turned his face towards her, pushing himself up onto his knees.
“Four, the name’s Tenaia.”
“And let me guess, they want you to fix my little glitch?” He asked, with a wry smile.
“That’s either an amazingly accurate guess, or you overheard something.” Tenaia didn’t return the smile.
“I quite possibly could have overheard something when they were talking to you.”
“But – but you weren’t in there – in the conference room.”
“Yes, I was, you just didn’t see me because I was made hidden. Besides, the only reason I heard was because it was a small gap between unconscious and unconscious.”
Tenaia sighed. “Right, well, either way, I’m going to have to sneak you out, and for that, I need Jechua. Only problem is, he can’t know about you. So, human, what are we going to do?”
Xavier raised an eyebrow, his eyes disbelieving. “‘We’? What do you mean ‘we’? I’m not going with you. I’m going home and just forgetting all this happened. Have fun with your life, wolf-girl.” Seeming to have regained his strength, he stood up and headed for the door…
…Only to find Tenaia blocking his path, dark eyes narrowed and blazing, a cruel grin on her face.
“I don’t think so, mister. You’re coming home with me. I promised Nathael that I’d keep an eye on you, and fix your little problem. I’ll force you if I have to. I’m stronger than you are. Now, I have a plan.”
Xavier leaned against the wall next to her. “You’re cruel, you know that?”
“Of course,” she replied, grin widening. “What would I be without my cruelty? Anyway, I tell Jech that I found a non-member in here, must have gotten in somehow. You’ll hide in something, and Jech, being the barman, will naturally, take it out, due to me asking for discretion. I’ll tell the crowd I have to get home, say goodnight, then leave – before you though, so that Jech doesn’t peek.”
“Just a question, why tell him I’m a non-member?”
“Well, I can’t say you’re a human, because if you really were a stranger who knew nothing about us, you’d know something was up the moment we said it. To humans, this place is a members only club.”
“Has anyone snuck in before?”
“Yeah, a few people. Now, let’s go.”
*****
“I love you all! Hopefully I’ll see you next week!” Tenaia packed up her guitar, and headed out the door, the crowd chanting her name over and over.
A few seconds later, Jech came out, smiling at her, steering a rubbish bin.
“Okay, now make sure he gets out all right.” Jech told her. He had been a bit suspicious at first, but when Tenaia had asked him to trust her, his questions had ceased.
“Thanks, Jech, you did great. I’ll leave the bin out back.”
“I’ll see you later, okay?”
“Sure,” Tenaia replied, blowing him a mock kiss and winking. She waved as he opened the door, looking back one last time. When he was gone, she breathed a sigh of relief and turned away.
“Xavier, get out now.” She demanded. With a thump and a quiet curse to follow, Xavier got out of the bin. He glared at her.
“What?” She demanded.
“It had to be a bin.” Xavier smelled of the bin’s contents, and Tenaia wrinkled her nose. Murmuring an apology, she said,
“Now, wait here. I need to call Dad so he can pick us up. There is no way I am walking. I’m trusting you.” She added, with a meaningful look as she caught Xavier’s eye.
She disappeared round the corner for privacy. When she got back, seven minutes later, she looked nothing but annoyed.
“Xavier, Dad said he won’t -” She broke off, and her face flitted through a scatter of emotions, as if she couldn't decide how to feel: shocked, irritated, angry, panicked, puzzled, weary and finally, grim. It all took one eighth of a second.
Xavier was gone.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So, where did Xavier go? What does Tenaia do?
Hope you liked it!
_________________
Childhood is measured out by sounds and smells and sights, before the dark hour of reason grows. - John Betjeman
If you look long and hard into the deep of the abyss, you will find me. In the last rays of the lingering sun, you will find me. But I will not return to you yet.
Last edited by Lady of the Shadows on Fri May 01, 2009 9:56 pm; edited 2 times in total
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The Meaning Of Fear
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| Posted: Sat Apr 04, 2009 9:36 pm Post subject: |
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| Quote: | | One in each cephalic vein, and one in the jugular vein. |
Which one's the third?
| Quote: | | “Thanks, Jech, you did great. I’ll le” |
I think you forgot to finish this bit.
I personally found it kind of unbelievable that she left Xavier there to talk to her father, but then everyone needs privacy some times.
I say Xavier's trying to get home, so Tenaia should transform into a wolf (Providing that she hasn't got anything against doing that or something) and chase him down.
_________________
Cherish all your memories, even the bad ones, for they are what makes you who you are.
Doors to the truth, an SG where a boy is propelled into worlds he is unfamiliar with. He crosses many worlds, and sees many things that force him to throw away his innocence, once, and for all. Fourth Chapter, out for viewing!
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DeadManWalking
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| Posted: Sun Apr 05, 2009 3:00 pm Post subject: |
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I think someone's kidnapped Xavier.
Someone against the Prophecy.
Please no vampires. Any other type of undead, except for straight-up zombies is fine, but if please no vampires. Perhaps mummy's  .
Maybe a werecheetah or something.
I dunno.
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Crunchyfrog
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| Posted: Sun Apr 05, 2009 11:40 pm Post subject: |
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I got a little bit confused with this one. How was he in the conference room? What made him go to a nightclub after recovering from being attacked by wolves?
Shall have to read it again, I think.
Still, for the DP - Kidnapping is the obvious one, but to think of an alternative, he's on the run. He's not going to go home, so I think he tries to get out of town.
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Lady of the Shadows
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| Posted: Mon Apr 06, 2009 2:27 am Post subject: |
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Wow, tonight must be lucky - I just thwacked three bobs in one night!
Anyways, @Meany: I see what you mean about it being unbelievable, but Tenaia is foolish. If anyone else agrees with Meany, I'll change it if you think I should.
@DMW: Sure, no undead. I wasn't planning on it, but...
@Crunchy: Ok, so the conference room is in the nightclub, behind Kirsch's office. It's still attached to the nightclub. They've handed Xavier over to Tenaia, so he's left there so that she can take him home, etc. Tenaia is a little overwhelmed, so she doesn't really take anything in. Do I need to make that whole thing clearer in the SG?
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Childhood is measured out by sounds and smells and sights, before the dark hour of reason grows. - John Betjeman
If you look long and hard into the deep of the abyss, you will find me. In the last rays of the lingering sun, you will find me. But I will not return to you yet.
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scissorkitty
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| Posted: Mon Apr 06, 2009 6:53 am Post subject: |
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I agree... T should turn Wolf and chase him down! Surely she can smell a trail... I like the idea of him being kidnapped.
Now... what if, somehow, the two were able to Mindspeak eachother? Something to do with her being TrueBorn and him being the Chosen.. and the Prophesy needing both of them? That might add an interesting twist to the relationship.. and give her a way to track him.
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Lady of the Shadows
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| Posted: Fri Apr 17, 2009 1:37 pm Post subject: |
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Ok, no other suggestions have come in, so it's time for the poll. Gotta learn not to put so many options in the DP! 
Either way I guess Tenaia is going to go after him, and I'll use other suggestions given probably.
So, here's the poll!
_________________
Childhood is measured out by sounds and smells and sights, before the dark hour of reason grows. - John Betjeman
If you look long and hard into the deep of the abyss, you will find me. In the last rays of the lingering sun, you will find me. But I will not return to you yet.
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Lady of the Shadows
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| Posted: Mon Apr 20, 2009 10:17 pm Post subject: |
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So. There's a tie.
I don't mean to sound impatient, but does anyone want to break it for me? 
_________________
Childhood is measured out by sounds and smells and sights, before the dark hour of reason grows. - John Betjeman
If you look long and hard into the deep of the abyss, you will find me. In the last rays of the lingering sun, you will find me. But I will not return to you yet.
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The Meaning Of Fear
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| Posted: Mon Apr 20, 2009 11:13 pm Post subject: |
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Broken.
Now that I think about it, though... Why hadn't I voted?
Forgetful me.
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Doors to the truth, an SG where a boy is propelled into worlds he is unfamiliar with. He crosses many worlds, and sees many things that force him to throw away his innocence, once, and for all. Fourth Chapter, out for viewing!
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Lady of the Shadows
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| Posted: Tue Apr 21, 2009 3:40 pm Post subject: |
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Thankyou!
I decided to close the poll while the tie was broken. And the winning option is...
Xavier has been kidnapped!
_________________
Childhood is measured out by sounds and smells and sights, before the dark hour of reason grows. - John Betjeman
If you look long and hard into the deep of the abyss, you will find me. In the last rays of the lingering sun, you will find me. But I will not return to you yet.
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Head Eater
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| Posted: Fri May 01, 2009 2:50 am Post subject: |
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Thissss Sssstorygame issss worthy of the Foresssst.
Ensssure it remainssss sssso for the Head Eater issss hungry!
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Heads.
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Smee
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| Posted: Fri May 01, 2009 2:57 am Post subject: |
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Woo, something new in the forest.
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The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the Devil's own Satanic Herd!
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Lady of the Shadows
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| Posted: Fri May 01, 2009 9:51 pm Post subject: |
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Okay, so school is a bully. Haven't had the most time, but the chapter is up! Cheesy moment: Thankyou to all my lovely readers for voting :lol Oh, and Chapter 2 was edited at the very end a bit to fit in more with the story:
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Chapter 3
“Great.” Tenaia muttered. “He must’ve nicked off. Just like I thought he would.” She struggled to ignore the tiny voice in the back of her mind that argued that she’d hoped he would stay. But why would he?
Tenaia’s frustration grew. Shut up! I did know he’d do this. I did. she told the voice, I’ll just have to get him back without the Order knowing, or I’ll be in trouble.
Nathael’s words rang unwanted through her head: There will be consequences… A shiver crawled up her spine. No, she definitely could not let the Order know that Xavier was missing. There was only one thing to do. She would have to Become.
Tenaia steadied herself, trying to ignore the nerves in the pit of her stomach. She fixed her gaze on the hypnotic radiance of the crescent moon, using its brilliance to give her strength. She felt the moonlight creeping through her veins, encouraging the lupine within her to emerge.
Silken, dark brown fur sprouted and her teeth sharpened into knife-like fangs. Her brown eyes shrank to a slim line around her pupils, and turned the same Chartreuse yellow that encircled her human pupils. Tenaia’s senses sharpened, and suddenly her mind was filled with the clarity that lycanthropes shared.
When the Becoming was complete, she looked around her. The moonlight shone brighter than before, illuminating the world that Tenaia saw. She could hear the rustle of tawny owls and fruit bats, faraway, and taste the pollution in the air.
Tenaia closed her eyes, concentrating on Xavier’s scent. He smelt like Airwick’s Crisp Breeze air freshener and dried blood. She used the scent to call up his aura, visualising the smell becoming a sight.
She felt a rush of warmth, and opened her eyes, before hastily closing them again. His aura left a trailing line of golden light, pure and gleaming. Tenaia wondered if that was the result of his destiny or something else entirely. A few feet away from where she was standing, Xavier’s aura turned into a tangle, as if he was engaged in a fight, intertwining with two purples, one darker than the other.
Something about the lighter purple aura caught her attention. Unlike Xavier’s and the mystery man’s, this one was blurred and hazy, not definite like most were supposed to be. That’s not right... Tenaia thought.
The brawl didn’t seem to last long. In fact, where Xavier’s aura was led away by the two purples, it seemed to be a duller shade. Tenaia tensed, keeping her mind focused on the aura, but her body ready for the run.
The golden blaze of light led Tenaia through a maze of familiar streets, on and on. This wasn’t right. She should have caught up to them by now. They couldn’t be that fast, could they?
She felt herself getting caught up in the tracking, losing her sense of direction. She noticed sub-consciously that she no longer knew where she was, the streets had become unfamiliar.
With her head bent, and the cloak of night covering her wolfish figure, she sped on, faster, the chase becoming a craze, an obsession, an addiction. She followed the hypnotising aura as it led her on…
…and stopped. In the middle of the street, the aura had vanished into thin air, nowhere to be seen. Tenaia fought to keep herself calm and level-headed. Think, Tenaia, how could this have happened? Did you lose focus on the aura? Try to call it back. Stay calm.
Tenaia honed her concentration, and called up the aura. Still nothing. She looked behind her to check that the calling had worked. The golden aura met her gaze, and she followed it with her eyes. Again, it disappeared, in the same spot as before.
Tenaia was puzzled. This shouldn’t be possible. Was he lifted? Flying in some sort of machine? No, his aura would still be visible. A thought came unwelcome in Tenaia’s head. One single, vicious thought, both unmerciful and terrible, but not without reason.
Was Xavier dead? Tenaia pushed the thought out of her mind. He couldn’t be. Whoever his captors were, would they really kill someone in the middle of a street, risking curious eyes to watch the murder and then possibly report it? She didn’t think so.
These men were smarter than that, she knew. They had led her in a dizzying array of circles, and she no longer knew where she was or how far away from home. She’d have to keep looking; she couldn’t abandon Xavier, the Order would have her head.
Tenaia sighed, and started a mild trot, not heading anywhere specific, staying in the shadows. After what must have been close to an hour, she found herself at the entrance of a large, empty park. An old fashioned sign with medieval lettering swung softly in the breeze, making slight creaking noises.
She shivered. The scene was like something in a murder mystery: cool, dark, and creepy. Something pricked in Tenaia’s mind, and she felt a sort of tingling in her stomach. She tried to dismiss it as nerves, but she knew it wasn’t.
Xavier, where are you? Please, Tenaia thought. Please. As soon as the thought formed, she felt like she’d shouted it to the wind, loud and clear.
Tenaia? I-is that you? Tenaia froze. The voice had sounded like Xavier’s, but she didn’t hear it from her ears. She’d heard it in her mind. Experimenting, she pushed out another thought.
Xavier? Where are you?
I’m in some sort of cave. I can’t see outside properly, but I think it’s in a park.
Oh, Lord, help me. Am I dreaming or are we really Mindspeaking?
If you’re dreaming, then so am I.
Okay, I guess I’ll just have to believe you. What happened?
You went round the corner to phone your dad, and I was… Xavier trailed off, and Tenaia sensed a tinge of uncertainty and…reluctance?
You were about to what? She growled.
I...was thinking about getting away, while you weren’t there. I thought it too good to be true that you’d be so stupid as to leave alone while you were on the phone.
Stupid? That was a little bit of a test, Xavier. Do you seriously think I couldn’t just Become and catch up with you in an instant? Wolves run faster than humans! She was only half telling the truth, and Xavier knew it.
He let it pass. Become? What’s that?
Becoming is what you would call turning wolf. We Become the wolf. You know, like werewolves do?
Yeah, yeah, very funny. So, wisecrack, can I get back to what I was saying? While you were round the corner, I started edging backwards when and grabbed me.
Why didn’t you fight?
I did. Look, let me show, you it might be easier.
Wait, you can do that? In response to her question, a scene played in her mind, and grew to envelope her…
She watched as a different Tenaia turned the corner – herself earlier. She felt a sort of disbelief and then a hesitation. She turned away from the corner where the other Tenaia had disappeared. She took a step, and another, and another…
Rough hands grabbed her arms and covered her mouth. She felt a rise of panic, and kicked and flailed, desperately trying to get away, to shake the iron grip on her. Tenaia calculated that there were two men, judging by the number of hands that held her.
She flung her leg out behind her, and felt it connect with something. The hands on her arms disappeared, and she bit the hand over her mouth. She tasted blood, but then that hand was gone too.
Tenaia flung herself around and saw two cloaked figures, one hunched over, quietly gasping. The other man was…licking…his hand. He looked up at her then, but she couldn’t see his face due to the cloak’s shadow.
The man came at her, fast as lightning, and she felt his fist sting her cheek. The ground rushed up to meet her. From her spot on the ground, Tenaia saw both of the men looming above her. Hands reached down, but she had other ideas. She kicked out at them and her fists flung out.
Tenaia felt some of her blows connect, but not many. They sure didn’t stop the pommelling fists that sent throbbing pain all through her body, or the sharper pain that stabbed her head after the loud crack, or the world going suddenly very, very black…
Tenaia came back to herself, dazed. Wow, that was…vivid. How did you know you could do that?
I didn’t, came his reply, I just guessed, on the basis of all the books I’ve read.
Oh cool, so you read a lot?
Tenaia, is this really the time to be talking about hobbies? I’ve kind of been kidnapped here. Xavier’s mind-voice was both teasing and grave. Tenaia, wait, one of the guys just walked out. If you’re near here, try looking for him. He’s still wearing his cloak. I don’t think he wants to have it on though…
As Xavier rambled on, Tenaia watched for signs of movement. There he was, some distance away, the man she’d seen from Xavier’s memory. Quietly and cautiously, she ducked behind a dense bush, watching the man light a cigarette from the spaces in the branches.
Xavier, is he smoking?
I don’t know, I can’t see. Wait, yes he is. I can smell it. Filthy stuff. I don’t know why people do it -
Xavier, I’m in the same park. I can see him. I don’t think he can see me behind this bush. Xavier, I’m breaking you out of there.
There was a pause. Then,
Okay. But, Tenaia? Be careful.
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THe DP isn't so much, 'what happens next', because you already know. But how does she break him out? Distractions? Cold-hard, unplanned fighting? Etc. What's Tenaia's plan?
Hope you like!
_________________
Childhood is measured out by sounds and smells and sights, before the dark hour of reason grows. - John Betjeman
If you look long and hard into the deep of the abyss, you will find me. In the last rays of the lingering sun, you will find me. But I will not return to you yet.
Last edited by Lady of the Shadows on Tue May 05, 2009 11:53 pm; edited 1 time in total
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The Meaning Of Fear
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| Posted: Tue May 05, 2009 11:31 pm Post subject: |
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Well, how does she go about it?
I was about to launch into a bit of a rant analysing this situation, but that's not really going to be much help, so I'll say she bursts in without a single thought for safety.
After all, she's the main character. She can't die.
But seriously, I doubt the captors would be tricked by something as petty as a distraction, if they could pinpoint his location so easily. That is, of course, unless they were stalking him, in which case it just means they're far more prepared than we can know, so the conclusion is the same.
Beat them up, or risk losing the kid.
I quite enjoyed this chapter, by the way. I really loved the line:
| Quote: | | She would have to Become. |
_________________
Cherish all your memories, even the bad ones, for they are what makes you who you are.
Doors to the truth, an SG where a boy is propelled into worlds he is unfamiliar with. He crosses many worlds, and sees many things that force him to throw away his innocence, once, and for all. Fourth Chapter, out for viewing!
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Lady of the Shadows
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| Posted: Tue May 05, 2009 11:41 pm Post subject: |
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Do you think I should edit the DP so people get more of a choice as to what happens? Or leave it as is?
_________________
Childhood is measured out by sounds and smells and sights, before the dark hour of reason grows. - John Betjeman
If you look long and hard into the deep of the abyss, you will find me. In the last rays of the lingering sun, you will find me. But I will not return to you yet.
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The Meaning Of Fear
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| Posted: Tue May 05, 2009 11:48 pm Post subject: |
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No, I only said what I said because that was the conclusion I arrived that. Other people may have differing views too.
_________________
Cherish all your memories, even the bad ones, for they are what makes you who you are.
Doors to the truth, an SG where a boy is propelled into worlds he is unfamiliar with. He crosses many worlds, and sees many things that force him to throw away his innocence, once, and for all. Fourth Chapter, out for viewing!
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Lady of the Shadows
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| Posted: Fri May 08, 2009 2:01 am Post subject: |
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Well, thankyou for the post.
Anybody else?*
*Anybody at all?
_________________
Childhood is measured out by sounds and smells and sights, before the dark hour of reason grows. - John Betjeman
If you look long and hard into the deep of the abyss, you will find me. In the last rays of the lingering sun, you will find me. But I will not return to you yet.
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Fri May 08, 2009 4:04 am Post subject: |
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It could be 'cos I'm drunk, but I was confused by the Aura.
An aura is, supposedly, someting surrounding someone. If they've gone it should be, IMHO, a 'trail' of some kind. Mmm.
Well, shes young and impetous, run straight in without thinking! Yo!
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Lady of the Shadows
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| Posted: Sat May 09, 2009 12:26 am Post subject: |
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Hmmm, let me see:
| Quote: | | His aura left a trailing line of golden light, pure and gleaming. |
I thought I did.... but I might not've.* Hmmm....
* Please bear with me, I am currently not in the right frame of mind to be posting. And before you ask, no I'm not drunk. No double meanings.
_________________
Childhood is measured out by sounds and smells and sights, before the dark hour of reason grows. - John Betjeman
If you look long and hard into the deep of the abyss, you will find me. In the last rays of the lingering sun, you will find me. But I will not return to you yet.
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Lady of the Shadows
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| Posted: Sat May 22, 2010 4:19 pm Post subject: |
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Hey Guys! So after a full year I am back!!
I'm gonna try to keep going with this, so if people could read and put up suggestions so I can put up a poll and get moving I would be v v grateful!!!
Thankyou!
btw...I missed u all heaps!!
_________________
Childhood is measured out by sounds and smells and sights, before the dark hour of reason grows. - John Betjeman
If you look long and hard into the deep of the abyss, you will find me. In the last rays of the lingering sun, you will find me. But I will not return to you yet.
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Crunchyfrog
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| Posted: Mon May 24, 2010 3:20 am Post subject: |
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| Welcome back!
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