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Run. Goto page 1, 2, 3, 4  Next   (currently a favorite of )    Storygames Home -> -> Run View previous topic :: View next topic   Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends 69488 Fables 1825 Strata-gems Posted: Sun Apr 24, 2011 4:08 am    Post subject: Run. In honor of the impending victory of Thunderbird as mayor I thought I'd put one my speed tales on IF as well as Tome City. So, this will be a tale on both sites, with votes and suggestions taken from both, much like T's excellent Heavy Metal. If you've read any of my speed works, and, assuming I can keep it up*, you'll know you have to be fast with this one! So, introducing... Don't look behind you! Update! A reworked Run is now available as an ebook. You can find it by clicking on the image below. . Warning! Danger Will Robinson! Danger! As readers familiar with my works will no doubt be aware, sometimes my stories contain content that is not suitable for the little 'uns or people adversed to/allergic to: Bad language, adult situations, adult content, and general bad taste. If you fall into the youngster or adverse categories, please read this with your eyes closed. *Lawks! _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Last edited by Chinaren on Thu Sep 15, 2011 5:50 am; edited 49 times in total Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends 69488 Fables 1825 Strata-gems Posted: Sun Apr 24, 2011 4:09 am    Post subject: Randy Harman walked down the hallway towards the door that held his fate. Every step was harder to take, and he could feel his stomach lurching and trembling as the butterflies fluttered inside it. Eventually, half way towards the headmaster’s office, he had to stop and lean against the wall. “Come on Randy,” he hissed to himself. “It’s not the end of the world. People have been sent to the principal for the cane before. I can survive this. I will survive this!” Thus bolstered by his own bravado, he stood straight again and, with one long, deep breath, squared his shoulders and set his jaw. His renewed footsteps echoed around the empty corridor as he approached the dreaded portal at the far end. It was painted white, with one of those frosted glass windows set within. The sign by the side read: Mr. B. Cross – Principal ‘What sort of name was B. Cross?’ thought Randy, wiping sweat from his brow. A principal called B. Cross was just taking the piss in his opinion. The door was close now, and his resolve faltered. A twinge in his crotch made him grab for that same area in alarm. No point adding humiliation to the whole affair. “Bladder, don’t you dare,” he whispered to his stomach area. Randy wasn’t sure what a bladder was, but he’d overheard some of the older kids talking about it, and knew it was something to do with having a pee. Finally he was there. At the door. Trembling anew, he raised his hand and, clenching it into a fist, knocked three times. Three knocks that sounded like the toll of doom inside his head. There was a pause, and he was just about to knock again when the familiar voice of the head, muffled as it was, came through the door. “Enter.” Closing his eyes, Randy took a deep breath and turned the handle. He stepped inside, closed the door behind him and turned around. And nearly fainted. This wasn’t the Principal’s office! He was in a long dark chamber. Candles dribbled their wax over holders attached to the walls at various intervals. The ceiling wasn't even visible, so high it was and so gloomy the area. Underfoot was uneven, like the time Randy had been to the beach. He looked up, eyes wide as a bright light appeared ahead of him. Squinting into the illumination he could just about make out the tall, skinny silhouette of a man with a wide hat. The man’s footsteps echoed as he slowly walked forward. He seemed to have a problem with one leg, so he dragged a foot, resulting in an uneven sound. Step, slide, step, slide, step, slide. Quaking in real fear now, Randy pushed himself against the door. His bladder, whatever it was, did the thing it did, and warm liquid gushed down his leg. “Randy Harman?” The voice was harsh and cracked, like the speaker had a mouthful of gravel. A bony finger, the finger of death, pointed at him. “Y… y… y…” stuttered Randy, unable to formulate an answer. “Wait.” There was a strange tone to the voice. “What age are you?” “T… t… t… ten,” Randy finally managed to squeak out. “Then there is a mistake.” The form turned away, and Randy nearly collapsed in relief. It didn't last long though. The last thing he remembered before fainting was the man speaking again. “I will see you again in twenty one years.” _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Last edited by Chinaren on Sat Jun 04, 2011 7:36 pm; edited 3 times in total Back to top Author Guest Items Posted: Sun Apr 24, 2011 6:37 am    Post subject: Whoo! What's all this? flash backs? or future again! Yea, for thinking out the box. So, when are we playing? So he'll be thirty one years old when the person sees him again. Back to top Author Thunderbird Elder Joined: 13 Sep 2009 Posts: 2139 Location: Rising from the ashes Items Legends 37957 Fables 1592 Strata-gems Posted: Sun Apr 24, 2011 7:49 am    Post subject: A clever intro piece, C'ren! Much enjoyed and looking forward to more. The bladder bit was some good humor. Too bad we couldn't get in a decision at this point though. Ah well. Oh, and... sheesh, man, I love the support but I'm not mayor yet and Pope's making quite a good run of it here! _________________ CHAPTER 25: Near-Light Speed (NEW CHAPTER! (12/4/2011)) Zephyrrr! And... Back to top Author Vishal Muralidharan Respected Citizen Joined: 24 Aug 2010 Posts: 867 Location: City Of IF! Items Legends 5251 Fables 508 Strata-gems Posted: Sun Apr 24, 2011 8:53 am    Post subject: Brilliant! Absolutely Brilliant! I've never read C'ren before but this was just plain awesome. Looking forward to what happens!! _________________ The eyes are useless if the mind is blind. Back to top Author Ingrothechundyer Royal Arch-Mage Joined: 22 Aug 2010 Posts: 484 Location: Wandering the streets of IF since 10/21/2005 Items Legends 16601 Fables 90 Strata-gems Posted: Sun Apr 24, 2011 12:13 pm    Post subject: Great start! Glad I saw your name show up in the new posts list and stopped by to read your new story _________________ My account may have been deleted but my completed SG is still there... Back to top Author D-Lotus Venerable IFian Joined: 21 Oct 2004 Posts: 4123 Location: Hollywood, USA Items Legends 10229 Fables 1924 Strata-gems Posted: Sun Apr 24, 2011 1:41 pm    Post subject: The good thing about these speed stories of yours is that they can be skimmed quite easily, and thus tend to be a quick read. Now that you've given us an appetizer, we'll have to wait for the main platter. Back to top Author Crunchyfrog Honorable IFian Joined: 12 Dec 2006 Posts: 3998 Items Legends 10415 Fables 7501 Strata-gems Posted: Sun Apr 24, 2011 3:02 pm    Post subject: Nice intro! Looking forward to the start. Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends 69488 Fables 1825 Strata-gems Posted: Sun Apr 24, 2011 5:33 pm    Post subject: Wow, what a nice lot of responses! Thanks all. This was only the prologue, so no set DP, though ideas of who the man is and why he wants Randy are all welcome. (My ideas are all hazy atm). _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author Ingrothechundyer Royal Arch-Mage Joined: 22 Aug 2010 Posts: 484 Location: Wandering the streets of IF since 10/21/2005 Items Legends 16601 Fables 90 Strata-gems Posted: Sun Apr 24, 2011 6:27 pm    Post subject: Hmmm makes me wonder what Randy summoned to assist him with his current problem that was sufficiently powerful (and sufficiently careless) to summon his past self instead of his current self to begin work on his new scheme _________________ My account may have been deleted but my completed SG is still there... Back to top Author crazybookgal Citizen Joined: 08 Oct 2010 Posts: 196 Items Legends 1657 Fables 57 Strata-gems Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2011 3:55 am    Post subject: Cool prologue Well since the title is Run, i'm going to assume whatever is needed from Randy, he isn't going to like it, so maybe he'llbe on the run? shrugs* just a guess _________________ It does not matter how many breaths you take, but how many moments take your breath away. Check out my first storygame "Brandi's Story!" "Five Bucks Can Take You Far" in Multiverse Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends 69488 Fables 1825 Strata-gems Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2011 3:57 am    Post subject: Part 1 - Toilet humor. “See you later Randy,” Mike said, as he wrapped his coat around him. “Later Mike.” Randy waved a hand in the general direction of his colleague without taking his eyes off the screen in front of him. He carried on skimming through the numbers, double checking them against the gigantic printout on his desk. Several more minutes went by before another head popped over the partition to his cubicle. “Hey Randy,” the head said. “Are you going to be at the party tonight?” This time Randy did take his eyes off the screen, putting a finger on the printout to keep his place. He was, secretly, madly in love with Claire Bennet, though he realized that she was so far out of his league he may as well not exist, even if she didn’t already have Chuck, or Buck or whatever the hell her boyfriend’s name was. “Well?” she asked, arching a perfect eyebrow. “Whu… I mean, what party?” he stammered. He could feel a blush creeping up his neck. “John’s party silly!” she said, flashing pearly white teeth. “Didn’t you get the email?” “I’ve been checking the financials all afternoon,” he said, nodding at the massive list of tiny numbers. “Mr. Harrison told me I had to have this done before I went home. There’s some sort of error…” “Oh, Harry’s such a boorish idiot,” Claire said, waving a hand in a casual gesture of dismissal. “Hold on.” The head disappeared, somehow leaving Randy’s cubical empty and lonely. The feeling only lasted a second though, as Clair’s head, this time accompanied by her super sexy body, walked through the space that served as an entrance to his little work area. The cubicle immediately was transformed into a summer meadow. Claire took her sunny disposition along with her, somehow changing the environment around her into a Better Place. She was incredibly pretty, with short blond hair that was artfully casual and yet somehow perfectly formed at the same time. Flashing blue eyes could display a huge range of emotions when she chose, from appealing maiden to saucy minx. A small pert nose wrinkled when she smiled, which was often. Now she stood over Randy, which put her wonderful breasts at the same height as his head. Randy began to get an erection even before her scent washed over him, making him giddy. “What’s happening here?” Claire pointed down. “I.. I…” Randy started, thinking she’d seen his crotch. The flush spread up to his cheeks. “Look! There’s your problem.” She ignored his bumbling attempts to speak properly and, leaning over him, tapped a few characters on his keyboard. “There, how’s that?” Randy, who’d practically messed his pants as she’d brushed up against him, took several seconds to focus on the screen. When he did he saw that she’d picked up on one section in the accounts he’d overlooked. Immediately everything fell into place. “You did it,” he said. “I’ve been staring at that all afternoon and you solved it in one second. How do you do that?” “It’s a gift,” she said. “Now, you’ll be at the party tonight yes? Starts about seven I think.” Randy, who had actually seen the email, was planning to stay at home and play Minecraft again. He wasn’t good at parties, where popular people ignored him in a social environment instead of the work one. Instead he nodded. “Great! I have a friend you might like to meet. See you later sweetie.” With that Claire twirled around and departed from his cubicle, which immediately reverted to its dungeon status. “You lucky fucker.” Removing his finger from the printout, Randy swiveled his chair about to face the new, and decidedly less attractive head of the only real friend he had. Donald Roberts, Don to his friends, was a full blown nerd. Overweight, greasy haired and bespectacled, Don had long ago given up any hope of actually mating, as he called it, with any member of the opposite sex that was recognizable as such. Despite this, or maybe because of it, he hit on any and every new female that crossed his path. Thousands of rejections later, he was still smiling. “I’m sorry?” Randy said. “She’s so into you,” Don pointed an accusing finger. “You could so do her. Christ, if I were you I’d have stood up, so bent her over the desk and taken her from behind. God, I’m horny just thinking about it.” “You’re a disgusting pervert,” Randy said, shaking his head, but smiling despite himself. “I have to do the job for both of us, you’re going to die alone for sure. How old are you now? Forty?” “Fuck you,” Randy said, stung into defending himself at last. “Thirty, okay, thirty one in a few days. I don’t look anything like forty!” He brushed at his dark hair which, like Claire’s, was ruffled and uncombed. Unlike hers, the effect was more ‘birds nest’ than trendy. Still, he was fairly fit, perhaps a little on the wiry side, not too tall but not too short either. Overall an average Joe. “Hey that’s right, it’s your birthday soon! What are we doing for that?” “I don’t want to…” “How about we have the guys around for a Duke Nukem Forever deathmatch?” Don suggested, referring to a couple of other nerds that tended to orbit their friendship. “That’s not even out yet,” Randy replied. He saved the file on his PC and then stood up, stretching. “A friend of mine supplied me with a pre-release copy. It’s fucking great.” Don waggled his eyebrows, which made him look a little like a frog in distress. “Are you leaving now? We’re the last in the office. I don’t think I’ve ever been the last in before.” “Let me take a piss,” Randy said. Don didn’t have a car, and as he lived in the same building they carpooled, though Randy was fairly sure carpools usually took turns. “Great,” his friend said. “I’m going to snoop around people’s desks then. Call me when you’re ready to go.” He disappeared back into his own work area. Shaking his head, Randy made his way through the cubicle farm that was the office, towards the gents. “Don’t go.” The voice was so low that it was barely audible. If it hadn’t have been so quiet, Randy wouldn’t have heard it at all. As it was he screeched like a girl and jumped sideways. “Don? Is that you? You fucker, if you jump out at me again…” He peered around the side of the cubicle, but there was no one there. Shaking his head, he made a face. “I’m going mental.” He turned and carried on his journey towards the toilet, mentally pushing down The Memory that always tried to surface when he was under stress. Feeling his stomach do the familiar lurch, he quickened his pace and pushed his way into the gents. He barged his way into the first cubicle, dropped his pants and sat on the cold porcelain. Before anything could exit though, it happened again. “Don’t go.” The voice came from the next stall, and had the twin effect of kick-starting Randy’s bowel evacuation and scaring him so much that he jerked to one side. The double whammy meant that he missed the bowl and poo’d over half the floor. “Shit!” he cried, both from the jump and from the resulting mess. It didn’t help that it took several more seconds to stop the flow, and thus he continued to spread things around even more. “Oh my god, fuck!” he wailed as he tried to make up his mind whether to run screaming from the toilet or try to stop the ongoing catastrophe. “Don’t go to the party.” The resurgence of The Voice made up his mind for him. Without bothering to wipe, he pulled his pants up as best as he was able and waddled at best speed out of the washroom. Colliding heavily with Don as he exited, he bounced off the wall and, still tangled in underwear at half mast, landed heavily on the floor. “Holy fuck,” his friend said, taking a step back. “That must have been some shit.” “It’s in there!” shrieked Randy, flailing around on the floor like a beached fish. “Well, better in than out my gran always said,” Don replied, apparently taking his colleagues breakdown in his stride. “You should probably calm down and pull your pants back up though, I believe you’re in range of the security cameras, and you know how that incident with the intern managed to find its way onto YouTube last month.” Panting hard, Randy made a more coordinated effort to do himself up. “Just go into the restroom and see if anyone’s in there,” he begged. “Please.” Shrugging, Don pushed at the door and disappeared into the toilet, leaving Randy to finally regain control of himself. He was just about back to normal, at least clothing wise, when Don returned. “Well?” “Dude,” Don replied. “You need a serious amount of beer. How anyone could miss the bowl by that amount is beyond me. My diagnosis is: you are too sober. Come on, let’s go. We have a party to attend.” “There was no one in there?” Randy asked. “No one in their right mind would be in Shitsville. What do you eat? I’m sure crap shouldn’t be that color.” “I heard a voice.” Now that he said it out loud, Randy began to feel foolish. Had he really heard a voice? Several of his shrinks had told him that his inner self was trying to make itself heard. He hadn’t taken any meds for years now. Perhaps he could get a new course. “Wait a minute, did you say ‘we’?” he asked. Don wrapped one arm around his friend’s shoulders. “What sort of buddy would I be if I let you go to a party alone?” >>>>>> Okay, possibly a bit of a lame SP, but: Should Randy go to the party or not? And who/what do you think the Voice is? <<<<<< _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Last edited by Chinaren on Sat Jun 04, 2011 7:37 pm; edited 1 time in total Back to top Author Vishal Muralidharan Respected Citizen Joined: 24 Aug 2010 Posts: 867 Location: City Of IF! Items Legends 5251 Fables 508 Strata-gems Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2011 4:42 am    Post subject: ROFL! Terrific! Brilliant sense of humour with a light mystery... Nice! I think Randy should go to the party. If he doesn't, he'd be doing exactly what the voice wants him to do. I wouldn't be doing that. Plus, he's got a friend with him. Why not call his other buddies and head over?! I have no idea what the voice is btw. Next time, make sure Randy notices whether it sounds like a male or a female. Will help narrow things down. _________________ The eyes are useless if the mind is blind. Back to top Author Crunchyfrog Honorable IFian Joined: 12 Dec 2006 Posts: 3998 Items Legends 10415 Fables 7501 Strata-gems Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2011 5:21 am    Post subject: Well, I'd put The Memory, The Voice and bodily functions together and make a good three. Good stuff C'ren, most gigglesome. Nice to see a new one from you. - Could probably use a language warning in case there are any around here who are faint of heart. (though I'm not sure there are, these days) I'd take the nerd to the party. If the Voice is a benevolant thing, the nerd can be a redshirt if required. If the Voice is bad, then the party will be good. Back to top Author Smee Revered IFian Joined: 16 Oct 2004 Posts: 5215 Location: UK Items Legends 15311 Fables 189 Strata-gems Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2011 12:21 pm    Post subject: Sod the party... giant cobblestone fortresses of doom* don't build themselves you know... go home and load up Minecraft *Complete with skull face fronting and lava flowing from the eyes. _________________ The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the Devil's own Satanic Herd! Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends 69488 Fables 1825 Strata-gems Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2011 4:36 pm    Post subject: K, poll is up. Stick your finger into the orifice of voting. Be quick though! _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author Thunderbird Elder Joined: 13 Sep 2009 Posts: 2139 Location: Rising from the ashes Items Legends 37957 Fables 1592 Strata-gems Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2011 7:05 pm    Post subject: Wow, C'ren, that was some of the best comedic work I've seen from you yet and that's really saying something. I was half expecting Claire (by the way... Claire Benett... really? C'mon man!) to be heading to the women's restroom right about the time he barged out. Who is the voice? hmm... too many ideas there to pick one to present. IMO this is one of those kinds of things I'd rather see the author decide so that we are left wondering. But yeah, that was friggin' hilarious! _________________ CHAPTER 25: Near-Light Speed (NEW CHAPTER! (12/4/2011)) Zephyrrr! And... Back to top Author D-Lotus Venerable IFian Joined: 21 Oct 2004 Posts: 4123 Location: Hollywood, USA Items Legends 10229 Fables 1924 Strata-gems Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2011 8:16 pm    Post subject: Hehe, toilet humor never fails. Now I could go for some party humor. Back to top Author Guest Items Posted: Tue Apr 26, 2011 12:04 am    Post subject: Hey chin, well... This is a good story, but tis a bit confusing, did the guy crap himself? Please, clear it a bit... So, I still think you are funny, but I'd understand if the guy who fell on the floor, just lost my train of thought....its back. So if the guy who fell on the floor, did infact have this problem for years because of coke, drugs, or since birth.... Back to top Author Smee Revered IFian Joined: 16 Oct 2004 Posts: 5215 Location: UK Items Legends 15311 Fables 189 Strata-gems Posted: Tue Apr 26, 2011 3:16 am    Post subject: Clearly a lack of people here who have properly enjoyed a good hour* on Minecraft. I'm disgusted *85 _________________ The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the Devil's own Satanic Herd! Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends 69488 Fables 1825 Strata-gems Posted: Tue Apr 26, 2011 3:45 am    Post subject: Smee wrote: Clearly a lack of people here who have properly enjoyed a good hour* on Minecraft. *85 Only 85? I'm shocked Smee. I think I've spent about 85 days on the damned thing! It's severely impacted my writing. Just talking about it now makes me want to go and work on the current tower I''m building (bedrock to sky's the idea). I'm on my third world at the moment, V1.5_01 yay!(with weather!). Pics from previous efforts here. Anyway, . I'll try and do another chapter of Run now. Despite the drunkeness. _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends 69488 Fables 1825 Strata-gems Posted: Tue Apr 26, 2011 4:49 am    Post subject: A reworked Run is now available as an ebook. You can find it by clicking on the image below. . Chinaren. _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Last edited by Chinaren on Thu Sep 15, 2011 5:38 am; edited 2 times in total Back to top Author Crunchyfrog Honorable IFian Joined: 12 Dec 2006 Posts: 3998 Items Legends 10415 Fables 7501 Strata-gems Posted: Tue Apr 26, 2011 5:08 am    Post subject: So, she can hear it too. Now is that good? Hmmm. If Voice is benevolant, then she's bad, but then Arnold or Don might come to the rescue. If Voice is malevolant, then she could be either, but we're in redshirt mode either way. Well... best way to find out is to go through with it, I say. What does he have to lose, except maybe his virginity by the sounds of things? Back to top Author Guest Items Posted: Tue Apr 26, 2011 5:33 am    Post subject: Fine here is my joke, Its not 4th of march, its always wookie time when some lady doesn't shave... The voice or the girl, well, if she can hear it, is it the force talking to him! May the force be with you... Or its the quirrie in his ear or navel. Good part of the story, listen to the voice. I should say. Or I would have talked to her, and actaully ask her who is in his head? Back to top Author Ingrothechundyer Royal Arch-Mage Joined: 22 Aug 2010 Posts: 484 Location: Wandering the streets of IF since 10/21/2005 Items Legends 16601 Fables 90 Strata-gems Posted: Tue Apr 26, 2011 5:39 am    Post subject: Chinaren wrote: *Original Star Trek reference. If you don’t get it, you’re probably missing half the jokes in this story. I doubt his faithful friends are going to be much help at this point. How about asking her "What is that? It's driving me crazy and I need help!". EDIT: Or we could always go with BBS's suggestion _________________ My account may have been deleted but my completed SG is still there... Last edited by Ingrothechundyer on Tue Apr 26, 2011 8:40 am; edited 1 time in total Back to top Author Thunderbird Elder Joined: 13 Sep 2009 Posts: 2139 Location: Rising from the ashes Items Legends 37957 Fables 1592 Strata-gems Posted: Tue Apr 26, 2011 7:17 am    Post subject: Say nothing. Just kiss the girl! I mean totally just lay into her with all that pent up frustration you've got boiling inside! And while making out with her, pat her down inconspicuously and angle her around so you have access to the door in case you somehow need to make a desperate escape. I think he needs to play with fire a bit here to find out what this infernal voice is getting at. _________________ CHAPTER 25: Near-Light Speed (NEW CHAPTER! (12/4/2011)) Zephyrrr! And... Back to top Author PopeAlessandrosXVIII Arts and Poetry Mod Joined: 10 Oct 2010 Posts: 1858 Location: Surrounded by many beautiful naked men Items Legends 13801 Fables 7870 Strata-gems Posted: Tue Apr 26, 2011 11:03 am    Post subject: I Think...... I've been meaning to read this, but RL has been keeping me from reading much for the last day or two. Anyways... HAH! This is a real kicker. The characters are nice and real, the situations very human. I'm a real fatasy nut, but this one has a great super normal feel to it. The sterioypical nerd Don is my fav guy thus far. Ugly or not, he's keepin' it real and nerdy! (Being a nerd myself, makes me proud) . . . . .Restrain her with whatever's hand, and force some answers out of her. He's been having mental issues for several years, and I think the chance here to possibly solve at least the latest one would be too tempting to pass up. Even if he does have to get a lil rough with this either a.)Slut b.)Bad guy in disguise. I'm a real Voice fan, but I'd try and get out of her what I could (non sexualy) before listening this time. If she suddenly morphs into somthing big and scary, at least it's a closet and not a room. Escape is much easyer here Great story, much luv!Can't wait for the up date! _________________ To Be A Knight And my first Finished work Death Day Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends 69488 Fables 1825 Strata-gems Posted: Tue Apr 26, 2011 3:32 pm    Post subject: Okay then! This is a Speed SGame, so let's keep moving! Thanks for your suggestions people! Some good ideas. Anyway, poll is erect, pull on the sock of voting, and don't forget to add this to your favorites if you like it! _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends 69488 Fables 1825 Strata-gems Posted: Wed Apr 27, 2011 6:35 am    Post subject: Sorry guys, been out all day, so no chapter today. Tomorrow. _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends 69488 Fables 1825 Strata-gems Posted: Thu Apr 28, 2011 4:42 am    Post subject: A reworked Run is now available as an ebook. You can find it by clicking on the image below. . Chinaren. _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Last edited by Chinaren on Thu Sep 15, 2011 5:38 am; edited 2 times in total Back to top Author Thunderbird Elder Joined: 13 Sep 2009 Posts: 2139 Location: Rising from the ashes Items Legends 37957 Fables 1592 Strata-gems Posted: Thu Apr 28, 2011 7:04 am    Post subject: I'd say he needs to see what he can view beyond the grate. Is there any way to get up there? Also... try poking and prodding along the stones of the wall... never know, there might be some kind of secret passage. _________________ CHAPTER 25: Near-Light Speed (NEW CHAPTER! (12/4/2011)) Zephyrrr! And... Back to top Author D-Lotus Venerable IFian Joined: 21 Oct 2004 Posts: 4123 Location: Hollywood, USA Items Legends 10229 Fables 1924 Strata-gems Posted: Thu Apr 28, 2011 11:05 am    Post subject: Probably no way to escape this place. Better to play dead and then act by surprise. Back to top Author Ingrothechundyer Royal Arch-Mage Joined: 22 Aug 2010 Posts: 484 Location: Wandering the streets of IF since 10/21/2005 Items Legends 16601 Fables 90 Strata-gems Posted: Thu Apr 28, 2011 12:37 pm    Post subject: Might try asking the voice in his head for more information now that it seems a bit more reasonable Other then that I agree quietly exploring might be a good idea. If nothing else he might find a place to ambush whoever comes to do something to him. I'm not sure what he could see beyond the grate though as it is so dark that he isn't sure if he is blind or not. _________________ My account may have been deleted but my completed SG is still there... Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends 69488 Fables 1825 Strata-gems Posted: Thu Apr 28, 2011 3:22 pm    Post subject: Some very good suggestions for such a limited SP! Thanks guys. I'll wait a little bit more before hitting the polls. _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author Vishal Muralidharan Respected Citizen Joined: 24 Aug 2010 Posts: 867 Location: City Of IF! Items Legends 5251 Fables 508 Strata-gems Posted: Thu Apr 28, 2011 8:23 pm    Post subject: Tough one I guess. Well... It looks to me like he's been drugged. If he's not blind, that's a good thing, because vision would come back eventually. We'd have to wait before that to make a move. After that, we'll have to explore the place.. basically, nothing more than what everyone else has said here. _________________ The eyes are useless if the mind is blind. Back to top Author Guest Items Posted: Thu Apr 28, 2011 8:30 pm    Post subject: Like oblivion? There might just be a passage. These people would probably stop him from going through there. *sorry just wiping black make up from my eyes* I'd shut up and think of a plan. Take any old chains use them, or you can search the cell to see if there is another person around... Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends 69488 Fables 1825 Strata-gems Posted: Fri Apr 29, 2011 4:03 am    Post subject: Chapter 4 - Cold. A reworked Run is now available as an ebook. You can find it by clicking on the image below. . Chinaren. _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Last edited by Chinaren on Thu Sep 15, 2011 5:39 am; edited 1 time in total Back to top Author Thunderbird Elder Joined: 13 Sep 2009 Posts: 2139 Location: Rising from the ashes Items Legends 37957 Fables 1592 Strata-gems Posted: Fri Apr 29, 2011 9:56 pm    Post subject: Wow, someone who doesn't seem to be threatening him is listening to him. I say he spills everything in a desperate bid for some allies! He may need them right now. _________________ CHAPTER 25: Near-Light Speed (NEW CHAPTER! (12/4/2011)) Zephyrrr! And... Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends 69488 Fables 1825 Strata-gems Posted: Fri Apr 29, 2011 11:23 pm    Post subject: Very well, the poll (suggestions from Tome and IF) is now up. Vomit into the bucket of voting. _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author Vishal Muralidharan Respected Citizen Joined: 24 Aug 2010 Posts: 867 Location: City Of IF! Items Legends 5251 Fables 508 Strata-gems Posted: Sat Apr 30, 2011 6:39 am    Post subject: Well, Poll was up before I could suggest anything, but luckily, I found what I wanted in the poll. This is a really nice story, but I am confused about our surroundings really. WE were in some sort of a cell.. and then what happened?! We're in a Home now???! Also, talking to voices reminds me WoD's Legion of Soulbreakers... which must have had a chapter long ago. I wonder what's up with him. Anyway, I really enjoyed this C'ren! Good writing!! _________________ The eyes are useless if the mind is blind. Back to top Author D-Lotus Venerable IFian Joined: 21 Oct 2004 Posts: 4123 Location: Hollywood, USA Items Legends 10229 Fables 1924 Strata-gems Posted: Sat Apr 30, 2011 10:58 am    Post subject: I was looking forward to a description of the environment, but he blacked out upon reaching the exit. Damn limited omniscient narrator. Back to top Author Crunchyfrog Honorable IFian Joined: 12 Dec 2006 Posts: 3998 Items Legends 10415 Fables 7501 Strata-gems Posted: Sat Apr 30, 2011 9:50 pm    Post subject: Fell behind for a couple of days on this one, but all caught up now and voted. Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends 69488 Fables 1825 Strata-gems Posted: Sun May 01, 2011 12:14 am    Post subject: Sorry for the lack of update yesterday folks, RL has suddenly intruded. I'll try to get a new chapter out later today though! _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author PopeAlessandrosXVIII Arts and Poetry Mod Joined: 10 Oct 2010 Posts: 1858 Location: Surrounded by many beautiful naked men Items Legends 13801 Fables 7870 Strata-gems Posted: Sun May 01, 2011 2:23 am    Post subject: I think..... I had to go with the "Dear god, this can NOT be HAPPENING!" way of thinking...and I seem to be alone there. *Bleh* on all of you and yer niceties about it! Mr.Spazoide suddening seeming so rational, really? Kidding! This is fun, and seems to be toning down into a smother plot now. Muches luv! Keep'em rollin'! _________________ To Be A Knight And my first Finished work Death Day Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends 69488 Fables 1825 Strata-gems Posted: Mon May 02, 2011 3:30 am    Post subject: Chapter 5 - Boots. A reworked Run is now available as an ebook. You can find it by clicking on the image below. . Chinaren. _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Last edited by Chinaren on Thu Sep 15, 2011 5:40 am; edited 1 time in total Back to top Author Thunderbird Elder Joined: 13 Sep 2009 Posts: 2139 Location: Rising from the ashes Items Legends 37957 Fables 1592 Strata-gems Posted: Mon May 02, 2011 7:47 am    Post subject: The Duty you say? An interesting allusion to... well... work I guess. Rather sad our new friend is already being taken away. And this isn't moving us ANY closer to understanding what that voice he was hearing was... hmm... I would stay hidden under the bed for a little bit, Just enough to make sure those guys were gone. Then I'd start poking around to see what I could find that would be useful for a traveller, weapons, food, a pack, etc... Then cautiously go exploring the woods in hopes of finding this 'wall' she was talking about. _________________ CHAPTER 25: Near-Light Speed (NEW CHAPTER! (12/4/2011)) Zephyrrr! And... Back to top Author D-Lotus Venerable IFian Joined: 21 Oct 2004 Posts: 4123 Location: Hollywood, USA Items Legends 10229 Fables 1924 Strata-gems Posted: Mon May 02, 2011 11:18 am    Post subject: Wait for papa. Back to top Author Thunderbird Elder Joined: 13 Sep 2009 Posts: 2139 Location: Rising from the ashes Items Legends 37957 Fables 1592 Strata-gems Posted: Mon May 02, 2011 7:49 pm    Post subject: That's an interesting idea, D. Though, I wonder, what would we plan to say when he arrives? I'd be a little afraid of how he could react to a stranger being in his house and his daughter missing. On the flip side, such an act might be the more bold and honorable path, as we could explain what happened (hoping he will believe us) and may earn us a rare ally in a threatening world, something we could really use right now. _________________ CHAPTER 25: Near-Light Speed (NEW CHAPTER! (12/4/2011)) Zephyrrr! And... Back to top Author Ingrothechundyer Royal Arch-Mage Joined: 22 Aug 2010 Posts: 484 Location: Wandering the streets of IF since 10/21/2005 Items Legends 16601 Fables 90 Strata-gems Posted: Mon May 02, 2011 9:35 pm    Post subject: An interesting idea. It seems risky as the father might not be in the best of moods when he finds out what happened to his daughter and that they are coming back for him. However if we could get an ally this could be a much needed break. Now that he is alone with his less then helpful voice possibly he could get some assistance from said voice while trying to figure out what he is going to do? _________________ My account may have been deleted but my completed SG is still there... Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends 69488 Fables 1825 Strata-gems Posted: Tue May 03, 2011 3:55 am    Post subject: Thanks for the Suggestions guys! I think I can merge these Suggestions and those on Tome, so I'll get to work on the next chapter, assuming I don't get too drunk first. _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends 69488 Fables 1825 Strata-gems Posted: Wed May 04, 2011 5:07 am    Post subject: A reworked Run is now available as an ebook. You can find it by clicking on the image below. . Chinaren. _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Last edited by Chinaren on Thu Sep 15, 2011 5:41 am; edited 1 time in total Back to top Author Thunderbird Elder Joined: 13 Sep 2009 Posts: 2139 Location: Rising from the ashes Items Legends 37957 Fables 1592 Strata-gems Posted: Wed May 04, 2011 8:31 am    Post subject: Take the path least travelled... and stay to the shadows as we try to make our way down the 'less popular' street with the big forboding sign. Why not ? _________________ CHAPTER 25: Near-Light Speed (NEW CHAPTER! (12/4/2011)) Zephyrrr! And... Back to top Author Ingrothechundyer Royal Arch-Mage Joined: 22 Aug 2010 Posts: 484 Location: Wandering the streets of IF since 10/21/2005 Items Legends 16601 Fables 90 Strata-gems Posted: Wed May 04, 2011 1:23 pm    Post subject: This is a tough one :/ Too bad we don't see an obviously shady character slinking in the shadows that we can ask for more information on this weird city It seems a restricted area is going to be dangerous as we will most likely run into more of the humorless machines. But then again I'm not sure what we gain wandering aimlessly in the city either. Given the level of control present in this city it would seem that we need at least some information we can use to bluff the security (hopefully long enough to get away or stay out of trouble). Of course then again the security seems to accept some very loose excuses so possibly I am over-thinking things here. Going to the Duty Office seems like a bad idea unless we get the name of someone that we can use to bluff our way in. Such a fantastic sounding place would almost certainly have some level of security to prevent abuse . Of course what would we do if we did get in? Somehow it doesn't seem like it would be a great source of new information. _________________ My account may have been deleted but my completed SG is still there... Back to top Author D-Lotus Venerable IFian Joined: 21 Oct 2004 Posts: 4123 Location: Hollywood, USA Items Legends 10229 Fables 1924 Strata-gems Posted: Wed May 04, 2011 3:57 pm    Post subject: Duty office. At least we know the girl is in there. Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends 69488 Fables 1825 Strata-gems Posted: Wed May 04, 2011 10:38 pm    Post subject: So it's looking like a toss up between the road and the Duty house so far. Quote: Too bad we don't see an obviously shady character slinking in the shadows that we can ask for more information on this weird city This can also be an option! I'll wait around a bit more before polling. Probably not going to have time to do another chapter tonight anyway. _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends 69488 Fables 1825 Strata-gems Posted: Sat May 07, 2011 3:19 am    Post subject: Very well, the poll is up, stroll in a direction of voting. _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends 69488 Fables 1825 Strata-gems Posted: Sat May 07, 2011 7:55 pm    Post subject: Chapter 7 - New Friends. A reworked Run is now available as an ebook. You can find it by clicking on the image below. . Chinaren. _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Last edited by Chinaren on Thu Sep 15, 2011 5:41 am; edited 1 time in total Back to top Author Thunderbird Elder Joined: 13 Sep 2009 Posts: 2139 Location: Rising from the ashes Items Legends 37957 Fables 1592 Strata-gems Posted: Sat May 07, 2011 9:30 pm    Post subject: This guy finds more himself in more pickles than a cuccumber! What was that object she shoved in our hand before throwing us to the wolves? This must be the trick here but its hard to say without garnering a moment to examine the thing. And we're not going to be given that moment before we must choose fight or flight. So I say shank the bastahd! A butter knife can go a long ways through flesh if thrust correctly. I mean, literally work ourselves up into a frenzy that no amount of size can out-intimidate. Just go completely ape-shit on the dude. We've got a lot of fear and frustration to channel out anyhow - and we have no bargaining chips so negotiations are out of the question. We must earn respect in this environment now or we will never have any for the rest of the time we're here. _________________ CHAPTER 25: Near-Light Speed (NEW CHAPTER! (12/4/2011)) Zephyrrr! And... Back to top Author D-Lotus Venerable IFian Joined: 21 Oct 2004 Posts: 4123 Location: Hollywood, USA Items Legends 10229 Fables 1924 Strata-gems Posted: Sat May 07, 2011 11:20 pm    Post subject: Haw-haw, I like TB's suggestion to go apeshit. Unfortunately, I think murdering your cell mates might attract the attention of guards, and atm Randy wants to keep a low profile. On the other hand, if he gives up his posessions, there's nothing stopping the bullies from taking that important object given to him by Liz. Somehow he must make a stance without compromising the discovery of his identity. I say he does something dramatic, but not dangerous. For example, take off his cloak and start ripping it to pieces with the knife (is the knife even sharp enough to either do this or attack the men?). It sends the message that if he doesn't get to keep his stuff, then no one else will get it either. And that he's a bit crazy. Hopefully it will deter them from taking away what is truly important here (we think)-- the item Liz gave him. Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends 69488 Fables 1825 Strata-gems Posted: Sun May 08, 2011 3:00 pm    Post subject: A load of fantastic ideas here and on Tome! So, a round and juicy poll is up. Squeeze the fruit of voting. _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author PopeAlessandrosXVIII Arts and Poetry Mod Joined: 10 Oct 2010 Posts: 1858 Location: Surrounded by many beautiful naked men Items Legends 13801 Fables 7870 Strata-gems Posted: Mon May 09, 2011 1:57 am    Post subject: I Think...... Awwww......I missed the suggestion phase.....Even though mine wouldn't have won... I wanted him to go all prison bitch, and shake his lily white ass. Just suggestion it would have given me a good laugh. But, anyway, GO MAD DOG!!!! _________________ To Be A Knight And my first Finished work Death Day Back to top Author Thunderbird Elder Joined: 13 Sep 2009 Posts: 2139 Location: Rising from the ashes Items Legends 37957 Fables 1592 Strata-gems Posted: Tue May 10, 2011 11:25 pm    Post subject: Move to the Raceway complete! Congrats on being the first to this section C'ren! There is an added reward for maintaining and participating in Speed SGs now too - some bonus Strata-gems! Should be fun _________________ CHAPTER 25: Near-Light Speed (NEW CHAPTER! (12/4/2011)) Zephyrrr! And... Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends 69488 Fables 1825 Strata-gems Posted: Wed May 11, 2011 6:24 am    Post subject: A reworked Run is now available as an ebook. You can find it by clicking on the image below. . Chinaren. _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Last edited by Chinaren on Thu Sep 15, 2011 5:42 am; edited 1 time in total Back to top Author PopeAlessandrosXVIII Arts and Poetry Mod Joined: 10 Oct 2010 Posts: 1858 Location: Surrounded by many beautiful naked men Items Legends 13801 Fables 7870 Strata-gems Posted: Wed May 11, 2011 6:37 am    Post subject: I Think...... Another fine chapter here, indeed. The sudden killing was fun, and refreshing. A kinda "These things really happen" moment, ya'know? Muches niceness. What to do, what to do.....Well, the guy leading you around by the nose has given you no real "Friend/Foe" indicaters, but just by knowing your name doesn't help the newcomer's case either.....So..... I'd say, grab the newcomer by the arm, and try to drag them with so you can all sit down and have a chat later. AND/OR! Ask the voice. If no answer is forthcoming......go with above suggestion! Keep'em rollin' Chinaren-sama! _________________ To Be A Knight And my first Finished work Death Day Back to top Author D-Lotus Venerable IFian Joined: 21 Oct 2004 Posts: 4123 Location: Hollywood, USA Items Legends 10229 Fables 1924 Strata-gems Posted: Wed May 11, 2011 4:14 pm    Post subject: We can't just keep asking the Voice as a deus-ex-machina. That's like not making a decision at all. I say go underneath the door. I feel like this is a distraction he doesn't need, although then again we don't know who this new person is. Regardless, if they really want to contact with him, they can do so in the Free Zone. Back to top Author Thunderbird Elder Joined: 13 Sep 2009 Posts: 2139 Location: Rising from the ashes Items Legends 37957 Fables 1592 Strata-gems Posted: Wed May 11, 2011 8:05 pm    Post subject: Great chapter C'ren! You did deliver the killing in a very human way - the inner world expressed in Randy's mind was excellent and really took you into the character. This is a tough DP. From my perception of the spacial layout, I don't think we'd have time to grab the newcomer and drag him through. It's hard to ignore the fact that he knows who we are, especially here. But it could also be a trick, something of a prison defense system. How... I dunno... but it could be. And I don't think he'd want to leave ANYTHING to chance that he might remain stuck here. I also take it that he didn't recognize the voice immediately - otherwise he'd have considered that in his assessment of the situation. The only person we have any reason to believe is on our side right now is this dark fellow. I say follow him, for we have only risk in the other direction, as compelling as it may be to react to this new voice. _________________ CHAPTER 25: Near-Light Speed (NEW CHAPTER! (12/4/2011)) Zephyrrr! And... Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends 69488 Fables 1825 Strata-gems Posted: Fri May 13, 2011 3:02 am    Post subject: Thanks for your comments! And the poll is up, time to blow the nose of voting. _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author Guest Items Posted: Sat May 14, 2011 12:30 am    Post subject: clothing and the like. Everyday, basic stuff In chapter 6: you say Like... what about "the likely everyday stuff" I know this is a speed story, so whenever you get to something just like it, you could add the two together. or turn it into something that is often said. man c'ren using my brothers name in your story... whistled by his face, missing by a fraction. Ok tell me exactly does commas have to be used to shorten a sentense...? Whistled by his face, it missed by a fraction/missing the (whirring) object by a fraction... Always try and add some tension in a story... So far I have read it from the last chapter I was at. Well, Good! I missed the option calling, I'll vote then... I'd be very afraid to jump through that hole door, I'd think it would be like the mummies-- squish... So I'd say stay... Back to top Author PopeAlessandrosXVIII Arts and Poetry Mod Joined: 10 Oct 2010 Posts: 1858 Location: Surrounded by many beautiful naked men Items Legends 13801 Fables 7870 Strata-gems Posted: Sat May 14, 2011 7:40 am    Post subject: I Think...... I'ma go with the blubbering idiot phase. He's been a trooper up til now, but I think it's time for total mental breakdown. This can be with, or without, fetal position rocking. Nice addition, but it's sad that I have as of yet to be on the right side aof a polling Keep up the goot work! _________________ To Be A Knight And my first Finished work Death Day Back to top Author D-Lotus Venerable IFian Joined: 21 Oct 2004 Posts: 4123 Location: Hollywood, USA Items Legends 10229 Fables 1924 Strata-gems Posted: Sat May 14, 2011 1:02 pm    Post subject: Ask for more time to think. Request a tour of the resistance fighter's forces, base, technology, etc. Back to top Author Thunderbird Elder Joined: 13 Sep 2009 Posts: 2139 Location: Rising from the ashes Items Legends 37957 Fables 1592 Strata-gems Posted: Sat May 14, 2011 3:21 pm    Post subject: I think its time to bring up the 'voice' and discuss the events wherein it has spoken to him and see if they have any insight as to what it could be. This might legitimize him a bit in their eyes as well - suggesting he's special because he has some sort of guardian watching over him. _________________ CHAPTER 25: Near-Light Speed (NEW CHAPTER! (12/4/2011)) Zephyrrr! And... Back to top Author PopeAlessandrosXVIII Arts and Poetry Mod Joined: 10 Oct 2010 Posts: 1858 Location: Surrounded by many beautiful naked men Items Legends 13801 Fables 7870 Strata-gems Posted: Tue May 17, 2011 4:41 am    Post subject: I Think...... Nice, short, and bloody. Much niceness! I like how it's so realistic in that, his world just got turned inside out, and right side down, and all he can think of sayiong is "I hear a voice". I really like his breakdown, but the jump in time threw me. A walk to the dorm, and colaps would have made the transistion smoother for me. No pokes, just observations. I'd go wiiiith.....Shake yer ars at the enemy, and run like hell away from where the girl lay! A truly heroic stance! Keep'em comin'! _________________ To Be A Knight And my first Finished work Death Day Back to top Author D-Lotus Venerable IFian Joined: 21 Oct 2004 Posts: 4123 Location: Hollywood, USA Items Legends 10229 Fables 1924 Strata-gems Posted: Tue May 17, 2011 11:55 am    Post subject: Hehe, nice chapter. Transitions could use some work, as Pope said, but this is a speed storygame (I can empathize with you now that I'm writing one too), and things need to move along. Your characterization is always the most impressive part of your story. I'm beginning to enjoy our unlikely hero. Still, I think it's time he gets a grip and does something for his fellow human being. I think he should try to rescue the dame; let's see if he finally grows a spine. _________________ Chapter 5: The Rendezvous Back to top Author Thunderbird Elder Joined: 13 Sep 2009 Posts: 2139 Location: Rising from the ashes Items Legends 37957 Fables 1592 Strata-gems Posted: Tue May 17, 2011 7:47 pm    Post subject: The comedic banter was very well pulled off there C'ren! Loved that discussion about 'the voice'. And, as was stated, his breakdown was so very human of him. You often present us with this character, the 'everyman' uncertain hero. But this time he's gaining in some depth and I like it. Lust does amazing things for a Man's morale. I say he runs over and attempts to pick her up to carry her over through that doorway - whether he CAN, even with the adrenaline coursing through him, is up to you. _________________ CHAPTER 25: Near-Light Speed (NEW CHAPTER! (12/4/2011)) Zephyrrr! And... Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends 69488 Fables 1825 Strata-gems Posted: Tue May 17, 2011 9:50 pm    Post subject: Thanks guys. I thought the jump was a bit abrupt myself, but it would have been too long otherwise (and I was tired). Sometimes the urge to reach the end of the chapter hurries me. Anyway, I'll be putting up a poll in a few moments! Fondle the buttock of voting. _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends 69488 Fables 1825 Strata-gems Posted: Fri May 20, 2011 9:24 pm    Post subject: Looks like it's the babe then. Data for 'nother chapter is even now been fed into the Chapter Rendering Extrusion Nodules. Hopefully it should be fully excreted later today (China time). _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author Vishal Muralidharan Respected Citizen Joined: 24 Aug 2010 Posts: 867 Location: City Of IF! Items Legends 5251 Fables 508 Strata-gems Posted: Fri May 20, 2011 10:34 pm    Post subject: **Catches up** BRILLIANT! _________________ The eyes are useless if the mind is blind. Back to top Author PopeAlessandrosXVIII Arts and Poetry Mod Joined: 10 Oct 2010 Posts: 1858 Location: Surrounded by many beautiful naked men Items Legends 13801 Fables 7870 Strata-gems Posted: Sat May 21, 2011 9:06 am    Post subject: I Think...... Poor guy....but I kinda saw that one commin'.... Another good one, very realistic. I also get all happygiggles for some reson when the voice just "Pops" back up! Very very good writtings. DP....Don't put the people in danger. Leave them behind, and use your idiot skills to get in yerself. Maybe that person who knew your name from before can help you! Let the war times roll! _________________ To Be A Knight And my first Finished work Death Day Back to top Author D-Lotus Venerable IFian Joined: 21 Oct 2004 Posts: 4123 Location: Hollywood, USA Items Legends 10229 Fables 1924 Strata-gems Posted: Sat May 21, 2011 12:09 pm    Post subject: Of course, it'd be the perfect time to sent shock troops into the city-- now that all the Boots are out on the field. Convince John that our hero can change the future if he can get into the lab and travel to the past. Then bailing out the council wouldn't be necessary! It's better to risk it all on this chance than to keep hiding like rats in the sewers. _________________ Chapter 5: The Rendezvous Back to top Author Thunderbird Elder Joined: 13 Sep 2009 Posts: 2139 Location: Rising from the ashes Items Legends 37957 Fables 1592 Strata-gems Posted: Sun May 22, 2011 5:06 pm    Post subject: Sewers... hmm... I say sneak through what hidden passages and waterways you can, entering the sewers beneath Headquarters to find a way in. _________________ CHAPTER 25: Near-Light Speed (NEW CHAPTER! (12/4/2011)) Zephyrrr! And... Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends 69488 Fables 1825 Strata-gems Posted: Mon May 23, 2011 1:20 am    Post subject: Very well, I just have enough time to put up a poll. Fire the gun of voting. _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends 69488 Fables 1825 Strata-gems Posted: Thu May 26, 2011 12:47 am    Post subject: K then, with the votes on Tome we have a winner. Starting work on the next chapter shortly. _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author Thunderbird Elder Joined: 13 Sep 2009 Posts: 2139 Location: Rising from the ashes Items Legends 37957 Fables 1592 Strata-gems Posted: Thu May 26, 2011 6:57 pm    Post subject: Hmm... tough DP. I think the easiest way to go would be to hide in the hospital somewhere. He's wounded enough still to get away with an excuse or two if needbe. I mean, No matter how I look at it, he needs to take shelter somewhere. The offices? Might be worth taking a peek there to see if any doors are open first I suppose. Might be a bit more private. But I assume they'd all be locked by now. I'm neutral on the chapter. Nothing to pick at and the plot was progressing along, but nothing here really stood out either, except perhaps his inner note on how easy he was adjusting to this new world of violence and his role in it. That was a nice note. But not all chappies must be highly charged either. You need some of these lower frequency ones now and then to allow the ones with more impact to carry more weight. _________________ CHAPTER 25: Near-Light Speed (NEW CHAPTER! (12/4/2011)) Zephyrrr! And... Back to top Author D-Lotus Venerable IFian Joined: 21 Oct 2004 Posts: 4123 Location: Hollywood, USA Items Legends 10229 Fables 1924 Strata-gems Posted: Thu May 26, 2011 7:59 pm    Post subject: Randy's was an ingenious strategy to infiltrate enemy lines. But now, let's see, I've always been curious about that Duty office. Does he remember how to get there? Is it far? I bet they're open past curfew; whatever deeds go on in there must go deep into the night. Besides, he's got the ID of an officer, I bet he could get in easily (although he better hurry before they discover the unconscious man in the locker room). _________________ Chapter 5: The Rendezvous Back to top Author The White Blacksmith Elder Joined: 02 Apr 2006 Posts: 2629 Items Legends 5046 Fables 192 Strata-gems Posted: Fri May 27, 2011 1:27 pm    Post subject: I don't really think he could get back into the hospital now - he'd need a plausible excuse as to why he left in the first place, especially as it'll be clear he only recieved field dressing on his wound. I think the best strategy is to visit the Duty Office, as D said. We could find out what's actually in there and test how powerful our new ID is. If the ID is high ranking enough, I reckon we could actually brave the streets. Those drones must have protocol for when someone is on official business, right? _________________ Tea Cures All. Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends 69488 Fables 1825 Strata-gems Posted: Sat May 28, 2011 12:19 am    Post subject: Right, a fair few options for this poll. Whilst I don't want to influence the vote, I would point out the guy he took the ID from was just a hospital orderly, and hence not likely to be too high up, rank-wise. Just for curfew breaking considerers. Also he has no idea where the Duty office is from his viewpoint. (Although I guess he could find it if that option won). So, poll is up, lick the shoe of voting. _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author The White Blacksmith Elder Joined: 02 Apr 2006 Posts: 2629 Items Legends 5046 Fables 192 Strata-gems Posted: Sat May 28, 2011 1:29 pm    Post subject: Voted for balls of iron. If I'm honest, I just want to see how that one turns out. _________________ Tea Cures All. Back to top Author Ingrothechundyer Royal Arch-Mage Joined: 22 Aug 2010 Posts: 484 Location: Wandering the streets of IF since 10/21/2005 Items Legends 16601 Fables 90 Strata-gems Posted: Sat May 28, 2011 1:31 pm    Post subject: The White Blacksmith wrote: Voted for balls of iron. If I'm honest, I just want to see how that one turns out. That almost makes me want to change my vote _________________ My account may have been deleted but my completed SG is still there... Back to top Author The White Blacksmith Elder Joined: 02 Apr 2006 Posts: 2629 Items Legends 5046 Fables 192 Strata-gems Posted: Sat May 28, 2011 1:32 pm    Post subject: Ingrothechundyer wrote: The White Blacksmith wrote: Voted for balls of iron. If I'm honest, I just want to see how that one turns out. That almost makes me want to change my vote Do it. We can win this thing and give Chinny an almightly headache to write, all at the same time! _________________ Tea Cures All. Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends 69488 Fables 1825 Strata-gems Posted: Sat May 28, 2011 2:25 pm    Post subject: The White Blacksmith wrote: Ingrothechundyer wrote: The White Blacksmith wrote: Voted for balls of iron. If I'm honest, I just want to see how that one turns out. That almost makes me want to change my vote Do it. We can win this thing and give Chinny an almightly headache to write, all at the same time! Damn you! Damn you all to heck! Don't forget this is also running on Tome City though, so those votes are also counted. Of course, you could always vote on both sites! Anyway, I plan on writing a new chapter today (China time), so get your votes in quick! Don't forget to add this to your faves if you like it! _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends 69488 Fables 1825 Strata-gems Posted: Tue May 31, 2011 2:02 am    Post subject: Sorry, was delayed yesterday by RL events. Should have the next chapter up in a few hours with any luck. _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author Thunderbird Elder Joined: 13 Sep 2009 Posts: 2139 Location: Rising from the ashes Items Legends 37957 Fables 1592 Strata-gems Posted: Tue May 31, 2011 9:00 pm    Post subject: I'm going to suggest, here, that he just darts back up the stairs, ready to barrel through the 'limping man'. But once up a few flights, he realizes that the 'limping man' must've been some sort of apparition, for it, he, is no longer there (and could have gone nowhere else). _________________ CHAPTER 25: Near-Light Speed (NEW CHAPTER! (12/4/2011)) Zephyrrr! And... Back to top Author The White Blacksmith Elder Joined: 02 Apr 2006 Posts: 2629 Items Legends 5046 Fables 192 Strata-gems Posted: Wed Jun 01, 2011 8:27 am    Post subject: Reveal himself. Not straight away, of course, just when one of the Boots starts getting brusque with the woman on the desk. I know our hero isn't the bravest, but he also seems the sort to do stupid things like rescuing an injured soldier when she wants to go down fighting. Also, yeah. We didn't man up in the last poll so I'm going to try and make him do so here. _________________ Tea Cures All. Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends 69488 Fables 1825 Strata-gems Posted: Thu Jun 02, 2011 3:44 am    Post subject: Very well, speedpoll is up, squat over the hole of voting. _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author Guest Items Posted: Thu Jun 02, 2011 3:54 am    Post subject: run back up, jump through the window and onto the roof... Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends 69488 Fables 1825 Strata-gems Posted: Fri Jun 03, 2011 5:29 am    Post subject: K thren, posts are tallied. Next chapte rhas begun, btu not strarting now as I'm too drnnk to typoe properly. Yay. _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author Ingrothechundyer Royal Arch-Mage Joined: 22 Aug 2010 Posts: 484 Location: Wandering the streets of IF since 10/21/2005 Items Legends 16601 Fables 90 Strata-gems Posted: Sat Jun 04, 2011 5:53 am    Post subject: Well this certainly puts a new spin on things It seems to me that Randy would be feeling hurt and betrayed at this point. Not only is the person he was in love with not who he thought she was but she is also the one who proposed going to the party that got him into this mess in the first place. This makes the fact that she invited him to the part and was pushing him to attend appear in a new light. _________________ My account may have been deleted but my completed SG is still there... Back to top Author The White Blacksmith Elder Joined: 02 Apr 2006 Posts: 2629 Items Legends 5046 Fables 192 Strata-gems Posted: Sat Jun 04, 2011 8:15 am    Post subject: Stay and talk, but grab a gun first. I wouldn't trust either of them - especially since the Voice (hey, what's he up to anyway) warned us to stay away from Claire earlier. These guys could just be dressed up as resistance fighters but if so, what's Don doing there? _________________ Tea Cures All. Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends 69488 Fables 1825 Strata-gems Posted: Sat Jun 04, 2011 7:39 pm    Post subject: Quote: Stay and talk, but grab a gun first. I wouldn't trust either of them - especially since the Voice (hey, what's he up to anyway) I'd actually forgotten about that. Still, I can work it in. Poll will be up shortly. _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author Vishal Muralidharan Respected Citizen Joined: 24 Aug 2010 Posts: 867 Location: City Of IF! Items Legends 5251 Fables 508 Strata-gems Posted: Sat Jun 04, 2011 7:40 pm    Post subject: I agree with WB. I don't trust both of them. Stay and talk and then make a decision. _________________ The eyes are useless if the mind is blind. Back to top Author Thunderbird Elder Joined: 13 Sep 2009 Posts: 2139 Location: Rising from the ashes Items Legends 37957 Fables 1592 Strata-gems Posted: Sat Jun 04, 2011 10:09 pm    Post subject: I'm going to offer the hormonal answer. Forget Don - We want to be with Claire so trust her at her word. She did just pull our ass out of the fire AND her explenation makes sense. The fact that the voice was warning us about her... well... I would think his testosterone driven head would rationalize that off as being it was a good warning at the time to keep him from getting sucked into all this but now, its not talking, so it can't be bad to follow Claire now. I'd like to hear what Don has to say, but I'm just as concerned that Claire might be right - still - Whitey brings up a good point about him being here among the rebels yet being 'on the other side'. _________________ CHAPTER 25: Near-Light Speed (NEW CHAPTER! (12/4/2011)) Zephyrrr! And... Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends 69488 Fables 1825 Strata-gems Posted: Sat Jun 04, 2011 10:51 pm    Post subject: Very well, poll is up. Squeeze the bosom of voting. _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author Ingrothechundyer Royal Arch-Mage Joined: 22 Aug 2010 Posts: 484 Location: Wandering the streets of IF since 10/21/2005 Items Legends 16601 Fables 90 Strata-gems Posted: Thu Jun 09, 2011 2:12 am    Post subject: Nice twist! Poor Randy is probably so surprised that he shoots but his aim is off _________________ My account may have been deleted but my completed SG is still there... Back to top Author PopeAlessandrosXVIII Arts and Poetry Mod Joined: 10 Oct 2010 Posts: 1858 Location: Surrounded by many beautiful naked men Items Legends 13801 Fables 7870 Strata-gems Posted: Thu Jun 09, 2011 2:18 am    Post subject: I Think..... I SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO saw this coming about half way through the chapter. I TOTALY fergot baout the whole "Him" thing fer a while, so it took some time! I love this mood you've establish with this story. His bladder staying true to form. The novelty cup. It's all so....inviting, and makes me smile like nothing else in my life recently. *Giggles* Liberateing the beer. It makes for a very uplifting read. Kuddos! The DP? Well, the realist in me sees him going "AHH!!!" And blowing himself away, or even better, the reality of time itself distorting for at least a brief moment. Or, my favorite, th Limping Man walking in and liberating our hero without hesitation.....Yeh, so far as My DP kinda idea....I want the Limping Man to come get Randy.....Maybe have a chat with himself first, but at this point, I don't see the LM giving him up so easly. Wonderful chappy, let's see more! _________________ To Be A Knight And my first Finished work Death Day Back to top Author The White Blacksmith Elder Joined: 02 Apr 2006 Posts: 2629 Items Legends 5046 Fables 192 Strata-gems Posted: Thu Jun 09, 2011 4:16 am    Post subject: Faint. I'm sorry, but I can't see him manning up enough to stay conscious. Also, could we have the link to the thread on Tome? Maybe at the end of each chapter, so we can watch the discussion there as well? _________________ Tea Cures All. Back to top Author Vishal Muralidharan Respected Citizen Joined: 24 Aug 2010 Posts: 867 Location: City Of IF! Items Legends 5251 Fables 508 Strata-gems Posted: Thu Jun 09, 2011 4:39 am    Post subject: GREAT ENDING!!! DP---> If shooting him affects us, then shooting ourselves would HAVE to affect him (I guess, since we are him). Remind him of that and talk with him. He shouldn't get injured and we shouldn't get injured as well. Puts us at a better position cuz we were the ones kidnapped and not him. _________________ The eyes are useless if the mind is blind. Back to top Author Thunderbird Elder Joined: 13 Sep 2009 Posts: 2139 Location: Rising from the ashes Items Legends 37957 Fables 1592 Strata-gems Posted: Thu Jun 09, 2011 8:37 pm    Post subject: Wow! I blissfully had no idea that was coming actually... lol And that was a good thing because the reveal was wonderful! I kinda tend to agree with WB up there but I don't know if it would be that severe. Perhaps just standing there acting like a guppy would be appropriate at the moment. V makes a good point - if we kill ourselves, we'd change everything - so we have a lot of power over this guy right now. But before enacting any such actions, I'd want to hear him/ourself out first. _________________ CHAPTER 25: Near-Light Speed (NEW CHAPTER! (12/4/2011)) Zephyrrr! And... Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends 69488 Fables 1825 Strata-gems Posted: Thu Jun 09, 2011 11:25 pm    Post subject: Thanks guys, glad it surprised (most of) you! Whilst I've not mentioned it here yet (and this could be classed a a spoiler) the Him in the chair is a future self, so killing Him now wouldn't affect 'our' Randy now. If you see what I mean. _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author Vishal Muralidharan Respected Citizen Joined: 24 Aug 2010 Posts: 867 Location: City Of IF! Items Legends 5251 Fables 508 Strata-gems Posted: Fri Jun 10, 2011 2:49 am    Post subject: Which means we have the upper hand!! This guy better co-operate now! _________________ The eyes are useless if the mind is blind. Back to top Author The White Blacksmith Elder Joined: 02 Apr 2006 Posts: 2629 Items Legends 5046 Fables 192 Strata-gems Posted: Fri Jun 10, 2011 3:16 am    Post subject: We actually need to find out how Randy became Him. Besides, He already know exactly what happens and what Randy's going to do, right? There's no point trying to shoot him because he will know that'll happen and have a guard instructed to jump in front of the gun at the precise second, or something along those lines. And even if we do shoot him, he'll know it's going to happen and that Randy grows up to become him anyway. We have to know at what points Randy makes the decisions that cause him to end up like this. If we want to avoid it (or not, depending on how much Randy decides he wants the powaaah) that's the only possible way out. _________________ Tea Cures All. Back to top Author Thunderbird Elder Joined: 13 Sep 2009 Posts: 2139 Location: Rising from the ashes Items Legends 37957 Fables 1592 Strata-gems Posted: Sat Jun 11, 2011 9:50 pm    Post subject: Older us makes some compelling arguments. I'm wondering what Claire has to say to all this. She might be able to provide for some interesting 3rd party reflection on it all. I can see how what he's saying is reasonably acceptable as truth, but we have to keep in mind the possibility that we could be being tricked here - especially with 'the voice will lead you astry' comment - it saved our ass back there in the prison and has seemed pretty reliable so far. And his lack of knowledge about the limping man... I dunno, it just seems as if its possible this is all a hoax to twist our mind. Still, I'm not entirely certain I bear full disagreement with him on the way he's running society given the circumstances and reasons he presents. For now, we just ask questions and listen, but not only to the elder us, also to Claire who we must demand to have by our side so we can maintain some skepticism. Great tale unfolding - always love the timeloop stories. They lead to the best of plotwork if done correctly imo. _________________ CHAPTER 25: Near-Light Speed (NEW CHAPTER! (12/4/2011)) Zephyrrr! And... Back to top Author The White Blacksmith Elder Joined: 02 Apr 2006 Posts: 2629 Items Legends 5046 Fables 192 Strata-gems Posted: Sun Jun 12, 2011 2:10 am    Post subject: I'm not sure. If older Randy* doesn't know about the Limping Man, it seems that he's the one we need to find out most about. Still don't trust any of them, but at least let Older Randy help Younger Randy as much as possible. Rest up, gain supplies, and be ready to get away at a moment's notice. Find out as much as possible about what happened to Older Randy, but more specifically ask if there are any legends or urban myths that might correlate with the Limping man. On no account tell any more of the little we know about the Limping Man. He's our one trump card here, if we can find out what he does. *As an aside, I have a friend called Harman. Loving the name, always makes me laugh. _________________ Tea Cures All. Back to top Author Vikas Muralidharan Respected Citizen Joined: 29 Aug 2010 Posts: 600 Items Legends 3192 Fables 581 Strata-gems Posted: Sun Jun 12, 2011 8:44 am    Post subject: Caught up!!! This story's really amazing. I completely agree with what Tbird has to say though. Seems sensible, and reasonable _________________ Vikas Muralidharan Be sure to read HATE in Romance section Back to top Author PopeAlessandrosXVIII Arts and Poetry Mod Joined: 10 Oct 2010 Posts: 1858 Location: Surrounded by many beautiful naked men Items Legends 13801 Fables 7870 Strata-gems Posted: Mon Jun 13, 2011 1:44 am    Post subject: I Think..... Another wonderful chappy. Much luv. *Decides to go the violent route* Kill him! Or yourself. Or both! If Randy really wants to avoid this future, he, and the other him, must die to break the loop. But, then again, this suggestion, would end the story right here, right now....So, umns, let's see........*Thinks hard* That's the only sure fire way I can think of to keep this future from coming about. But, for the sake of keeping the story going.......Pull some strings, in true ash hole fasion, and get "The People" to like young Randy better, so they boot out "Old Randy" and make the nicer guy leader!!!!! That's the best I can do fer now, sorry.......Best case scenario would end the story with two bangs. Keep up the good chapters! _________________ To Be A Knight And my first Finished work Death Day Back to top Author Vishal Muralidharan Respected Citizen Joined: 24 Aug 2010 Posts: 867 Location: City Of IF! Items Legends 5251 Fables 508 Strata-gems Posted: Mon Jun 13, 2011 4:14 am    Post subject: Great chapter C'ren!! Yeah, I F5 TBird there. I really want to know what Claire thinks of this, a third person view always helps, especially now, since our character might not yet have recovered from the shock and may not be able to think straight. Also keep threatening to kill ourselves if he doesn't "co-operate" with us. I doubt he went through all that trouble just for a talk with us, and also, he is the older us, and somehow, Randy Harman always came across to me as lazy, some one who wouldn't go through so much trouble to have a talk. How come he doesn't know about the limping man? I agree with WB there, that he is our trump card. If older Randy doesn't know, something has changed in the time loop. So I say, continue talking to him, with occasional inputs from Claire. I want to know what else older us has in mind. _________________ The eyes are useless if the mind is blind. Back to top Author The White Blacksmith Elder Joined: 02 Apr 2006 Posts: 2629 Items Legends 5046 Fables 192 Strata-gems Posted: Tue Jun 14, 2011 11:20 am    Post subject: The way I see it, we ultimately have two choices. We could either be super good till the bitter end (as the Voice wants it) or we could be mean from the very beginning. Or we could do as Older Randy wants and be nice then mean, but that's not a very good option because we're trying to change things here, people! Keep up. So either we try to save Claire, shout "I'm not leaving without her!" and maybe cry a little or we look out for number one and leave straight away. If we stay to save Claire we will probably be caught by the Limping Man, if we don't we (maybe) keep both legs. Either way, the timeline's been flipped on its head so most of that stuff in the backpack? Yeah, pretty useless. _________________ Tea Cures All. Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends 69488 Fables 1825 Strata-gems Posted: Wed Jun 15, 2011 3:03 pm    Post subject: Very well. Poll is up, and an important one it is too. Pluck the chicken of voting. _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author Thunderbird Elder Joined: 13 Sep 2009 Posts: 2139 Location: Rising from the ashes Items Legends 37957 Fables 1592 Strata-gems Posted: Thu Jun 16, 2011 7:57 am    Post subject: I didn't get the chance to comment here before the poll went up but I don't think that really changed much given that WB is right about not having many options - pretty much one or the other. BUT I'd like to add some thoughts... Perhaps the Limping Man isn't such a 'bad' guy after all. He's a variable olderself doesn't even understand... so perhaps there's a key in the Limping Man to unravelling the solution we're looking for as to how to adjust the timeline in a more positive manner. Also, if we leave Claire we're pretty much just heartless here. The obvious needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few clause we're up against means nothing when its the one you love. Another thing... if future self lost his wife, who happens to be Claire... wouldn't he have a stronger emotional impulse here towards her now? If he's as selfish as he is stated to be then wouldn't he be trying to work Claire into being his partner now rather than simply letting her go over to be with his past self? Either way you look at it, something isn't quite adding up there. _________________ CHAPTER 25: Near-Light Speed (NEW CHAPTER! (12/4/2011)) Zephyrrr! And... Back to top Author The White Blacksmith Elder Joined: 02 Apr 2006 Posts: 2629 Items Legends 5046 Fables 192 Strata-gems Posted: Sat Jun 18, 2011 8:25 am    Post subject: Find someplace to hide and look through the backpack. If this is where we're meant to end up, we can learn what to do next. If not, at least we'll know that there are decisions to make that we've got no help with (and that we can probably throw out all the info). _________________ Tea Cures All. Back to top Author Thunderbird Elder Joined: 13 Sep 2009 Posts: 2139 Location: Rising from the ashes Items Legends 37957 Fables 1592 Strata-gems Posted: Sat Jun 18, 2011 12:11 pm    Post subject: Oh HO! The tragedy!!! LOVE the way that scene played out C'ren! Perhaps one of your most powerful ever! And the limping man even brought some comedic relief to the whole thing at the same time without it making the scene feel less dire. Excellent! He does need to take inventory and look around for a place to hide. Not knowing where he is, he's at least got enough experience now to know he may not want to encounter the first thing to come around the corner here. I... I'm not sure where he'd be... _________________ CHAPTER 25: Near-Light Speed (NEW CHAPTER! (12/4/2011)) Zephyrrr! And... Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends 69488 Fables 1825 Strata-gems Posted: Mon Jun 20, 2011 12:51 am    Post subject: Very well, poll is up. Gnarlibar the unfrumble of voting. _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends 69488 Fables 1825 Strata-gems Posted: Wed Jun 22, 2011 3:35 am    Post subject: Very well, poll is closed. With the results from both sites option three was the winner. Next chapter should be up sooooon. _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends 69488 Fables 1825 Strata-gems Posted: Fri Jun 24, 2011 9:58 pm    Post subject: I can't believe I have to do this to myself... I have one day to post another chapter or it shall be moved to the snailstory area. _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends 69488 Fables 1825 Strata-gems Posted: Fri Jun 24, 2011 9:59 pm    Post subject: Sheesh, alright already! What a ball buster. _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends 69488 Fables 1825 Strata-gems Posted: Fri Jun 24, 2011 11:06 pm    Post subject: “Oh fuck,” Randy said. “This isn’t good.” Turning about he leaped over to the nearest console and reached for the keyboard, only to stop short. The display was showing some kind of complex 3D moving graph, with various messages in what looked like Chinese popping up here and there. “Mm, not this one.” A shout outside the room encouraged him to move to the next terminal, but this one was simply blank. “Shit,” he said, as the sound of a door opening came from behind him. With no further time to try and figure the device out, he dived behind the nearest cover, which happened to be a metal, fridge sized box with blinking green lights. More shouts in the strange language, and the sound of booted feet advancing with menace encouraged him to shrink further down. He thought tiny thoughts. A shadow fell across him, and he looked up into an Asian face peering out from underneath a dark green helmet with a red star on the front. More significantly, a rifle muzzle was now aimed directly at his head. “Hi,” Randy said, grinning stupidly. “Would you believe I was looking for the restroom?” ~ “Fuck!” Randy spat out a tooth. “I just had that fixed at the dentist you cunt!” “No more games Yankee spy.” The Chinese interrogator leaned forward and prodded him in the forehead. “You tell us truth or I take all your teeth.” “I told you already…” Randy began. “Yes yes, your fancy story of some dire future. Bullshit. The device not work yet!” “Jesus, you people aren’t very imaginative are you? It’s a fucking time machine moron! If it works then what do you think’s going to happen? Shit! Stop that!” He shook his head, trying to clear it after the surprisingly painful open handed slap his tormentor had just given him. “We know you Yankee have machine too. Nearly as advance as ours,” the man said. “You come from there to sabotage! Admit it! Then you can die quick death with clean conscience. Go to your capitalist heaven. Play harp on cloud.” “I’m an Atheist,” Randy slurred. They’d injected him with something ten minutes previously, and he was beginning to feel strange. A knocking sound echoed around the small cell, and it took him a moment to realize it was coming from the door and not inside his head. His new friend glared at him for a moment more before striding over to the door and pulling back a hatch set at head height. Randy couldn’t see clearly, but he heard a fierce exchange of whispers before the hatch was slammed shut again and the man returned. The injection, whatever it was, was really starting to kick in, so the interrogators face wobbled like pudding as he stooped in front of Randy, making sure he had his full attention before speaking. “You speak or not now little man. I tell you something, it make no difference soon. This act of war. We are going to respond. We send present through our machine to your machine. Make big hole in lying United States. They say they want peace on one hand and send you here on other. This time we teach them big lesson. Big nuclear bomb lesson! Hee hee hee!” “Uhh,” Randy groaned. The drugs were making it hard to concentrate. “Come… here. Tell… you something. Close. Whisper.” “What is it little man?” The man came closer. “You laugh like a girl.” Randy lunged forward and bit the man’s ear, hard. “Ahhhhh!” His interrogator yanked back, pulling Randy with him and tipping over the chair, an act that resulted in half the ear being torn off. Randy landed, hard, on the concrete floor and spat out the flesh. Then he watched calmly as the man pulled out a long knife from his belt. Blood dripping down the side of his head, he knelt in front of the prisoner and pulled the blade back. “Now I kill you Yankee scum. Your country follow soon.” Randy waited to die. The blade sparkled in the dim light and started to descend. Only something wasn’t quite right. It wasn’t speeding up, but getting slower. At first he thought it was probably the drugs, but when it stopped half way down, he realized it was probably something else. “There you are,” said a dry voice. “I’ve been looking all over for you. Come on, stop laying around.” The Limping Man bent down and pulled Randy upright, seemingly having no trouble with his weight. As Randy tried to come to his senses, the tall time traveler, sans hat he noticed, started undoing his bonds. “Yurghly…” Randy shook his head, which nearly made him throw up. He tried again. “You’re dead. Saw you shot.” “Come on,” the Limping Man said, somehow undoing the shackles around his ankles. “I can travel through time, how are you going to shoot me exactly? I did lose my hat though, so you’ll have to get that for me when you return.” “Return?” Randy was still having trouble thinking. “Of course. For Claire. I told you, you two need to be together to fix this little time loop problem. There, you can stand up now.” “Easier said than done,” Randy murmured, meaning the standing up part. Still, he managed it somehow, with a bit of help. “So, what now?” he asked. “Are you going to take me back?” “Sorry, no can do,” the man replied. “I can only take myself. You’ll have to use a Time machine. Luckily I know where one is.” “Here!” Randy said brightly. “Actually, no.” The Limping Man shook his hatless head. “The Chinese don’t quite have the time travel part working yet. They do have spatial technology though, which, ironically, the Americans don’t. You need to have that part working, otherwise you’ll travel in time but not space. This is bad because the planet will have moved and you’ll pop out into empty void. Not a good idea all told.” “So I can’t use theirs either?” “If you steal the transporter data from the Chinese machine and input it into the US one, then you can. The software is surprisingly compatible.” “I can do that!” Randy said. “I’m good with computers.” “You’ll need to be, and I’ll help you finish the job before the Chinese send the bomb through.” “Bomb?” Randy’s head suddenly felt a lot clearer. “Yes, didn’t you hear your chum?” He tapped the frozen interrogator on the head. “The Chinese will send a nuke through the machine, blow up half of San Francisco. The Americans will figure it out and retaliate of course. This era of human history is a particularly touchy one. They call it the Second Cold War, until it turns into the hot version of course. Such a pity too, they were just about to make a breakthrough in the peace talks.” He shrugged. “Ah well, I’m sure your new civilization will do much better.” Randy stood there, mouth opening and closing like a goldfish for a minute before he could finally frame the words. “You mean this turns into World War Three? I start World War Three? Me?” “Don’t feel too bad about it.” The Limping Man patted him on the shoulder. “If it wasn’t you then it would have been something else. Like I said, it’s Destined to be. You can’t cheat what’s Destined. Now, are you going to stand there all day or go and get Claire? I can’t hold this lot still forever you know.” In a daze, Randy followed the limping man back through the corridors, full of frozen Chinese soldiers, down a lot of stairs, (the problem with stopping time is that the elevators don’t work, the Limping Man explained), and back into the lab, which was exactly as he left it except for a large round metal device sitting on the floor nearby. Several statue-guards wearing radiation suits stood next to it. “Er, I’m not going to get radiated am I?” Randy asked, eyeing the device nervously. “No silly billy, radiation is subject to the laws of time, same as everything else.” The Limping Man walked over to a console and started pressing buttons. “Now, I have to start time again to get you through,” he said. “I’ll be with you on the other side shortly. Unfortunately, due to the fact I am also nearby the place you’re going to come out, you’ll have to wait a few minutes before I turn up again.” “I don’t understand,” Randy said, still eyeing the bomb. “I was nearby at the time this happened, too close, and whilst I can, literally, be in two places at once, I can’t be in the same place at once. Or at least nearby. It’s complicated okay? Just take my word for it. There’s only a small window, so I have to send you through and then wait until my other self has gone.” “I’m not reassured here.” Randy edged away from the bomb. “Don’t worry about it,” the Limping Man said, waving an arm. “It’ll be fine. I do this sort of thing all the time. Now, when I restore time to let you through I’ll also copy the data you’ll need. Then I’ll bring it over when the other me has gone. Stand on the platform.” Unsure as to what he was doing exactly, Randy did as he was bid. “It’s night in the US now. There’ll be no one around the lab, so you just have to hang about and wait a bit, and I’ll meet you there. Ready?” “N…” There was a bright light. There was intense dark. There was light again. “...o.” “Who the hell are you?” Randy blinked and looked around. He was in yet another time machine room, this one was larger than the Chinese version, and bustling full of white coated scientists. Standing in front of him was what appeared to be an army chief of some kind. Stars glistened on his shoulders, and he was busy reaching for the pistol at his side. “Ah, crap,” Randy said. >>>>>> Sorry for the delay with this one. Life just kept on throwing up obstacles. Still, it’s done now! So, the SP here is pretty much the same as the last one. What does he say/do now? Try and warn them about the impending bomb? Say he’s from the future? Say he’s from the past? Ideas please! <<<<<< _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author PopeAlessandrosXVIII Arts and Poetry Mod Joined: 10 Oct 2010 Posts: 1858 Location: Surrounded by many beautiful naked men Items Legends 13801 Fables 7870 Strata-gems Posted: Sat Jun 25, 2011 1:12 am    Post subject: I Think....... Ah, fun time travel messes. Gotta love'em. This was one of the funner chapters I must say. I like this line. Quote: “I’m not reassured here.” Randy edged away from the bomb. That had me in giggles for a while. I also have to say, this limping man doesn't seem to have even half the talents he claimes to have. I mean, messing up so that our Randy ends up in a full lab? Even though he claimes to "Be there" already, and yet don't notice the peoples all around. Either that, or he screwed up and sent Randy through time as well as space on accident. *Sigh* And he seemed so smart! I mean, tuna sandwiches for luch? Had to be a genius, no? *Hangs head* As for the DP excuses? I see these two: Be Truthful #1 - I escaped the Chinese facility where they've perfected a way of transporting matter through these machines. You need to shut down this machine before they can send a bomb through that will take out half of the city. DO that, and I can give you the technology to make the time machine work. Be Truthful #2 - I am a time traveler useing your facilites to go forward in time to retrieve my soon - to - be wife so we can go BACK in time and stop a hug war that's just around the corner! If you shut down the machines now, I can fill you in further, and we can all avoide dyeing! Those are my thoughts. I know, kinda long, but, "The truth will set you free....or get you killed. Either way, your worries will be gone!" _________________ To Be A Knight And my first Finished work Death Day Back to top Author Thunderbird Elder Joined: 13 Sep 2009 Posts: 2139 Location: Rising from the ashes Items Legends 37957 Fables 1592 Strata-gems Posted: Sat Jun 25, 2011 12:17 pm    Post subject: "Well, you're messing around with time streams and it surprises you when someone pops in from the future?!? I have a lot to explain and very little time I'm afraid and I'm going to need to borrow your device for a 'test run' if you don't mind, otherwise Humanity could be wiped out, capishe?" Loved the chinese dialogue in this chapter! Literally had me laughing out loud! You good at that! The plot is warming up really nicely right now... loving every chapter here! _________________ CHAPTER 25: Near-Light Speed (NEW CHAPTER! (12/4/2011)) Zephyrrr! And... Back to top Author Vikas Muralidharan Respected Citizen Joined: 29 Aug 2010 Posts: 600 Items Legends 3192 Fables 581 Strata-gems Posted: Sat Jun 25, 2011 10:29 pm    Post subject: Im loving this story... Cant see any option other than being truthful though _________________ Vikas Muralidharan Be sure to read HATE in Romance section Back to top Author Vishal Muralidharan Respected Citizen Joined: 24 Aug 2010 Posts: 867 Location: City Of IF! Items Legends 5251 Fables 508 Strata-gems Posted: Sun Jun 26, 2011 12:32 am    Post subject: Im going with pope's decision on this one. This is really an awesome story! _________________ The eyes are useless if the mind is blind. Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends 69488 Fables 1825 Strata-gems Posted: Sun Jun 26, 2011 4:04 am    Post subject: OKay then, a poll will be going up tomorrow, so any more suggestions, get them in quick. _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends 69488 Fables 1825 Strata-gems Posted: Sun Jun 26, 2011 8:34 pm    Post subject: Speed poll is up! Prime the explosive of voting. _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author Vikas Muralidharan Respected Citizen Joined: 29 Aug 2010 Posts: 600 Items Legends 3192 Fables 581 Strata-gems Posted: Thu Jun 30, 2011 5:44 am    Post subject: lol... Amazing chapter. Now we just need to find a way to make ourselves look like an older version of us... Shouldnt be too hard _________________ Vikas Muralidharan Be sure to read HATE in Romance section Back to top Author Thunderbird Elder Joined: 13 Sep 2009 Posts: 2139 Location: Rising from the ashes Items Legends 37957 Fables 1592 Strata-gems Posted: Thu Jun 30, 2011 8:35 am    Post subject: dangit... out of time... will read asap C'ren! _________________ CHAPTER 25: Near-Light Speed (NEW CHAPTER! (12/4/2011)) Zephyrrr! And... Back to top Author Tainted Biohazard Resident Joined: 20 May 2011 Posts: 53 Location: The Absu Items Legends 1947 Fables 35 Strata-gems Posted: Sun Jul 03, 2011 8:43 am    Post subject: Who... who the hell came up with Base Jumping??? I mean.. I guess it could work but... he looks alot like his older self so perhaps doing the disguise thing twice in once story may be justifiable here and I can't imagine how it wouldn't be a success given the situation. Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends 69488 Fables 1825 Strata-gems Posted: Sun Jul 03, 2011 5:27 pm    Post subject: Welcome to Run Tainty. Yes, don't worry about Thunderbird, he's under a lot of strain. I should be spurting forth the next chapter later today* (China time), so vote quick! *Was going to do it yesterday, but life... _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends 69488 Fables 1825 Strata-gems Posted: Mon Jul 04, 2011 5:38 am    Post subject: “Hold still,” the woman said, as she attempted to dab Randy’s face with some kind of stinky cloth. “It smells,” Randy complained, wrinkling his nose. “I’m sure He doesn’t go around smelling like drains. People would talk.” “The smell will wear off, and it will darken your skin a little bit. You’re far too fair to be living in these times, and I’m sure He will be the same, pampered as He is.” “Possibly,” Randy acknowledged, remembering his older self. “I still don’t think this will work.” His old resistance commander, John, was leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. “Come on now, who’s going to impersonate Him? You’d have to be insane,” Randy replied, closing his eyes to allow the make-up artist to daub his upper face. “Exactly,” John agreed. Randy opened one eye and peered at the fighter. The man was obviously bored, used to action twenty four hours a day no doubt. Sitting in an underground bunker babysitting some kid from the distant past, whilst he had various substances painted on his face must have been torture. “Nearly done,” the woman said, putting down the cloth, much to Randy’s relief, and picking up a tiny brush. “Let’s add a few wrinkles now. Wow, haven’t done this since before the war.” “What did you do, back then?” Randy asked her. “I was a trainee makeup artist,” she said, sighing wistfully. “Just out of college I was, been working a week at the old Stadium theatre when the bombs dropped. Luckily I was out of town with my boyfriend at the time. Poor Peter, never did find out what happened to him.” “You lost him?” Randy asked, fascinated of this personal piece of history from a future he didn’t yet know. “We got split up scavenging for food,” she replied, wiping what could have been a tear from the corner of her eye. “We were just stupid kids back then, even though the end of the world was upon us we thought we were invincible. Everyone always does at that age. He was probably jumped on by some Canos. They were bad back then.” She dabbed at his cheek with the brush, her hand shaking. “Canos?” “Cannibals,” John answered for her. “There were more survivors than usual in Highfield, which meant the stored food ran our fast. Didn’t take long for some to revert back to barbarianism.” “Shit.” Randy just managed to stop himself shaking his head. “Still happens in some parts, so I’m told,” John went on, ignoring the look on the woman’s face. “Nasty brutes. Killed a few of ‘em in my time. We need more people, not less.” “There, done.” The woman straightened up. “From your description, and with a hood, you should pass for an older version of you.” Examining himself in the mirror, Randy nodded. He looked frighteningly like his other self. “Thank you,” he said. “And, I’m sorry about Peter.” He put a hand on her arm, and she smiled. “Thanks dear, but it was a long time ago now. I’ve lived my whole life since, which is longer than most got to do. Had four kids, two who lived, so I’m one of the lucky ones.” She packed up her small kit and with one final nod, departed. “So, now what?” John asked, stirring into life. “Now you have to get me close to the palace,” said Randy. “We can do one better,” the fighter replied. “We can get you inside.” “Lead on MacDuff.” Randy gestured at the bunker door. “Who the hell is MacDuff? The name’s Conner,” he replied. “John Conner.” And stalked off. Following him, Randy shook his head. It seemed literature was another casualty of the war. ~ “Just keep your head down and follow the others,” John hissed at him. Randy merely grunted, concentrating on the heavy crate that he was just about not dropping. Despite the cold, sweat trickled down his back, both from apprehension and the fact he had another set of clothes on under his laborers’ outfit. Two more men, whether they were resistance fighters in disguise or not he didn’t know, were ahead of him, also wearing dirty overalls and carrying large wooden boxes. John was behind, taking the role of supervisor, which meant he didn’t have to carry anything of course. Now, with one final glance at him, the man strode forward and waved at the bored looking guard standing in front of the palace kitchen entrance. He wore the usual black uniform, sans helmet, which he’d removed for reasons of his own. One hand held what looked like a clipboard. “Hoy you! What’s the hold up here?” John shouted. “This is food for the wedding.” “Pass,” the Boot replied, holding out a black gloved hand. “You people, all paperwork,” John scowled, but handed over a sheaf of papers. Randy sweated some more as the guard went over the details, until he finally tore off a strip off one and handing the rest back to John. “Now, IDs,” he said. “Here, I have them,” John replied, stuffing four into the man’s hand. The guard gave the panting laborers a cursory glance, then nodded and handed the IDs back to John. “Go then.” “Thanks sir.” John turned to his men and waved a hand. “Come on then you lazy lot, we don’t have all day. Wouldn’t want his highness and the lovely bride to go hungry now would you?” Muttering under his breath, Randy shuffled forward, keeping his head down as much as he dared. He’d been provided with a flat cap amongst other things, and this was pulled low over his face. He needn’t have worried, the guard ignored them, sucking on some kind of cigarette as they shuffled by. They kept up the pretense all the way to the kitchen storage area, where they dropped the boxes off. There the other two men kept watch whilst John opened one and Randy shed his outer garments. “Here, put these on, quickly!” John thrust a black guard suit at him as soon as the workman’s attire was shed. “Once you’re deeper into the palace find a place to dump them. From then on you’ll have to be Him. Or You. Whatever. No, that’s not straight you idiot.” He helped Randy pull on the armor, and then slung a gun over his shoulder before stuffing the old clothes back into the crate and closing it. John shook his hand. “I guess we’ll never know if you make it. I’ll see your body swinging outside if you don’t though. Good luck.” “What about the guard outside?” Randy asked. “Won’t he ask where the other person is?” “Got it covered lad,” John said. “This isn’t my first party you know. Now, put your helmet on.” With that, and a final wink, he led his men off back outside, leaving Randy all alone in the storage area. “So be it,” Randy said to himself. He put on the black helmet and secured it. Then, straightening his shoulders, he stepped out and walked along the passage into the kitchen. The place was bustling with men and women in white cook outfits. Shouts for ‘more sauce’ and commands to ‘wash those plates’ rang through the kitchens. No one even glanced at Randy as he made his way around to the far door and slipped through. Slowly and carefully, avoiding other guards wherever possible, he made his way through the palace, until he reached an area that was several grades higher in decor. Finding a private area to change took another few minutes, but he managed to slip into some small closet, literally under a staircase, and, not without some difficulty, take off his guard outfit. Now he was in a fine dark red robe. It had a hood, which Randy pulled up over his head and hung low over his face. Finally he reached down and fumbled with his new leg, opening a small hidden recess and pulling out what looked like a tiny wooden cane. Pressing the button he’d been told to, the cane expanded, magician’s wand-like, into a walking stick. “We don’t have many sightings of Him,” Amanda had said at his final briefing. “But our spies tell us that he often walks with a stick like this.” Thus disguised as himself, Randy peered carefully out of the door. Questions would surely be asked if the ruler of the city was seen climbing out of a small cupboard beneath the stairs. The way was clear though, and he slipped into the corridor beyond. Trying his best to feel confident, Randy made his way towards the main staircase. “Don’t try and hide,” Amanda had advised him. “No one’s going to question you, so it’s balls out time at this point.” “Balls out,” Randy mumbled, turning a corner and almost bumping into two fully clad Boots. “Sir!” Both guards leaped back, jumping out of his way and saluting. “Carry on,” Randy, stomach lurching under his robes, waved a hand as he walked on, remembering to lean on his cane. He thought he heard one of the guards whispering a question at the other, but the second one shushed him, and Randy smiled. You don’t want to risk being heard by your boss, especially as the boss could have you executed at his whim. “This might work after all,” he chuckled quietly. He made his way up the large staircase he’d been led up before, and then managed to get slightly lost before wandering into what looked like private quarters. Now he was beginning to worry, the longer he was there, the more chance of the ruse being rumbled. He decided to take a chance, and when he walked in on a maid folding cloth, he waved his stick at her. “You, girl.” Randy tried to make his voice older. Seeing who was talking to her, the maid nearly had a heart attack. She dropped her laundry and tried to curtsey at the same time, then stopped, started to pick the dropped material up before changing her mind and curtseying again. “Stop your panic lass,” Randy said. “Just tell me where my wife to be is.” “M… M… M… Miss Bennett?” she stammered. “I’m not talking about mother goose now am I?” Randy said, trying not to enjoy the feeling of power he had. “S… s… sorry sir. She’s in the blue room, as before sir.” “She’s still there?” “Yes?” The maid was trembling hard now, scared of saying the wrong thing no doubt. “Well don’t just stand there,” he said gruffly, taking advantage of her fear. “Lead me to her.” “Of course sir!” Red in the face, the maid gave one final glance at the dropped linen before twirling around and almost running off towards the nearest door. “Not so fast!” Randy shouted. “Some of us aren’t young anymore.” “S… s…” “Sorry, yes I know. Get on with it.” He waved his cane, which made her flinch. Randy felt bad about scaring her, but if she stopped to think things through she may ask herself why he needed to be guided to the blue room all of a sudden. His luck held. The journey lasted up a flight of steps and along another corridor to a set of double doors. She was stopped by two guards outside, but they quickly stepped back when they saw Randy. “You can go,” Randy told the maid. “And don’t you go gossiping.” With the world’s fastest bow, the maid had obviously given up on curtseys, she fled. Leaving Randy alone with the guards. “Open it,” he said, waving his cane again. It seemed to work on the maid he reasoned. “But sir…” one man said. “No arguments!” he interrupted, going on the offensive. “And don’t interrupt us either,” he added, trying to cover his bases. “Sir!” One man saluted whilst the other opened the door, allowing Randy to stride through. The door closed behind him. “I can’t believe that actually worked,” he muttered to himself, and then ducked. The vase smashed against the wall behind him, followed by a screech. “Bastard! You dare come here! I’ll tear your eyes out!” Claire, looking as radiant, if not a hell of a lot more angry, leapt at him, knocking him on to his back. “Claire! It’s me!” he hissed as loudly as he dared whilst fending off her violent punches. “Ouch!” It took a minute, and possibly some cracked ribs, but eventually she stopped attacking him and peered more closely into his hood. Finally she rubbed a finger along his cheek. “Randy?” she asked. “Is that you?” “The young me, yes. Did you think I wouldn’t come back for… mmmph.” He was cut off by her kiss. “Oh Randy! I thought I’d never see you again!” she patted his face whilst Randy tried to regain his breath. “I can’t believe it! He was going to make me marry him!” she wept, tears dripping onto his forehead. “Listen, I…” They were interrupted as, with only the briefest of warning knocks, the door opened again, to allow entrance to none other than Randy’s old friend, Don. “What on earth?” Don said, staring at the scene in front of him. >>>>>> Ooh! Well, the disguise worked better than I thought it would. Hopefully it didn’t come over as too rushed. Okay, for this Suggestion Phase I need ideas not for Randy, but for Don. What will he do? You know Don about as well as I do, from past chapters, so this is a chance to get some thoughts in about him as well. Does he hate what Randy turned in to? Or is he the ‘power behind the throne’? Another fairly open choice here, but I like to throw these general ones out sometimes. <<<<<< _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author Guest Items Posted: Mon Jul 04, 2011 5:52 am    Post subject: Lets see, it starts to rain and then Randy is in trouble, because the make-up artist used the wrong make-up instead of supra grease make-up she used water activated make-up... the make-up starts running at the eyes or the plastics would curl because its a cheap latex piece. Back to top Author Vishal Muralidharan Respected Citizen Joined: 24 Aug 2010 Posts: 867 Location: City Of IF! Items Legends 5251 Fables 508 Strata-gems Posted: Mon Jul 04, 2011 6:54 am    Post subject: Wonderful!! Randy and Claire spill the beans, and Don !pretends! to start helping them and then betrays them later. _________________ The eyes are useless if the mind is blind. Back to top Author Thunderbird Elder Joined: 13 Sep 2009 Posts: 2139 Location: Rising from the ashes Items Legends 37957 Fables 1592 Strata-gems Posted: Mon Jul 04, 2011 9:46 am    Post subject: Don is actually an extra-terrestrial who has been controlling Older Self's mind and is extremely upset to see the younger self return. lol. Ok its an idea anyhow. I'm loving it C'ren. This chapter included some more elegant writing than usual. It got us through a lower 'charged' period in the tale and prepares us for yet more to come, giving us the opportunity to breath a bit first. Good job! _________________ CHAPTER 25: Near-Light Speed (NEW CHAPTER! (12/4/2011)) Zephyrrr! And... Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends 69488 Fables 1825 Strata-gems Posted: Mon Jul 04, 2011 11:11 pm    Post subject: Thanks fellows! There's been a couple of wonderful suggestions over on Tome that means this story may run for a bit longer than I'd thought, so if anyone wishes to go and vote for it in the splotlight comp, then it would be Good. A speedpoll should go up either later today or tomorrow, China time, so any more ideas get them in quick. _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author PopeAlessandrosXVIII Arts and Poetry Mod Joined: 10 Oct 2010 Posts: 1858 Location: Surrounded by many beautiful naked men Items Legends 13801 Fables 7870 Strata-gems Posted: Mon Jul 11, 2011 8:30 pm    Post subject: I Think....... Yay! More fun time travel issues! *Giggles* Poor loss of the leg, and, umns......I have to say JOHN CONNER!? REALLY!?! You had to, didn't you? I hit the floor with that one. Are you going to go anywhere with that one? Oki, Done ranting, DP, DP......Kill your older self out of pity, and to make your life easyer. Not, Don has to deal with YOU! Go through with the weding as plqanned, tucking "Yourself" under your bed or somwhere else safe for a time. Then, I'm sure Clair will recognize you, get with her and try and work out a way to get back to the beginning of the mess and clean it up! Good work! _________________ To Be A Knight And my first Finished work Death Day Back to top Author Thunderbird Elder Joined: 13 Sep 2009 Posts: 2139 Location: Rising from the ashes Items Legends 37957 Fables 1592 Strata-gems Posted: Tue Jul 12, 2011 7:50 am    Post subject: Very nicely delivered concept there Chinny! The plot just thickens and thickens and thickens and twists and we slip on red herrrings and fish goes everywhere around these parts. LOVE IT! I think this is one of your best, just for plotwork alone if nothing else. Keep it up! I think at this point in time, they need to conspire to get those meds and work together towards that end. Older Randy has a lot of access to technology - firepower yes, but more tricksy stuff too. Spy gear from the future... good stuff. Tracers, chemical tags, those sorts of things. They need to trick Don into leading them right to the stash, or perhaps just consult with a scientist as to what could be done. This guy is the emperor, after all. Then its a simple matter of using his perception of power against Don by commanding the troops to back them. _________________ CHAPTER 25: Near-Light Speed (NEW CHAPTER! (12/4/2011)) Zephyrrr! And... Back to top Author Vikas Muralidharan Respected Citizen Joined: 29 Aug 2010 Posts: 600 Items Legends 3192 Fables 581 Strata-gems Posted: Tue Jul 12, 2011 7:54 am    Post subject: Umm... I was about to post the suggestion of killing our older self... Crap. But I like Thunderbird's suggestion of using our perception of power as well. Kinda cool. About the writing, I really dont have to say much. Each chapter is just better than the previous one and I have got the feeling "There's nothing to improve on from here" quite a few times while reading this SG, but somehow, you seem to do something I cant put my finger on. I Love it _________________ Vikas Muralidharan Be sure to read HATE in Romance section Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends 69488 Fables 1825 Strata-gems Posted: Wed Jul 13, 2011 2:58 pm    Post subject: Okay, I've tried to whittle down the Suggestions into a few options. Some of these may kind of appear later anyway, but here's Randy's initial objective. So, poll is up - stir the coffee of voting. _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author PopeAlessandrosXVIII Arts and Poetry Mod Joined: 10 Oct 2010 Posts: 1858 Location: Surrounded by many beautiful naked men Items Legends 13801 Fables 7870 Strata-gems Posted: Sun Jul 17, 2011 6:08 am    Post subject: I Think....... Wowie funness!!!! This one's fun! There was a little confuseing part when he did the thing with the door...It went from Don opening the door all the way to it closeing with no segway...might wanna work on that.... DP.........I'm guessing time isn't ALWAYS stopped in this place, so I go with....Run back to palace, and mess with some buttons...Then, once thuroughly messed with, try and find a guide to how to fix the mess you just made. If time starts again, then I tiiiink Don will be in trouble. I doubt the guy brought any defencive stuffs with, so he'll be in jail! Or at least in some major confusion. Open the protal back up and have some negotiateing fun.... _________________ To Be A Knight And my first Finished work Death Day Back to top Author Thunderbird Elder Joined: 13 Sep 2009 Posts: 2139 Location: Rising from the ashes Items Legends 37957 Fables 1592 Strata-gems Posted: Mon Jul 18, 2011 7:47 am    Post subject: We have a good solid plan at the moment and throwing chaos into it with another choice suddenly sounds like a plain bad idea to me. I say we keep tracking him down. Now, alternatively, we could go back and hit that button that closes the portal (I presume that may be why time is 'paused' as well... ) sending the film over the portal. Then we simply gather the troops and attack him on the other side. But that seems like it could have huge pitfalls so I still think we're better off following the initial course. Loved the chappy, C'ren, as always! _________________ CHAPTER 25: Near-Light Speed (NEW CHAPTER! (12/4/2011)) Zephyrrr! And... Back to top Author Vikas Muralidharan Respected Citizen Joined: 29 Aug 2010 Posts: 600 Items Legends 3192 Fables 581 Strata-gems Posted: Mon Jul 18, 2011 8:08 am    Post subject: It just got better DP? TRACK TRACK TRACK..... nothing else _________________ Vikas Muralidharan Be sure to read HATE in Romance section Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends 69488 Fables 1825 Strata-gems Posted: Mon Jul 18, 2011 10:58 pm    Post subject: Poll is up then. Row the boat of voting. And... Quote: JOHN CONNER! Hehe. You're the only person who seems to have spotted that one. _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends 69488 Fables 1825 Strata-gems Posted: Wed Jul 20, 2011 6:23 pm    Post subject: Poll is closed then. Next chapter should be up in about six hours. _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends 69488 Fables 1825 Strata-gems Posted: Sun Jul 24, 2011 2:47 pm    Post subject: Poll will go up later today, (China time), so any ideas for this get them in quick. _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author Thunderbird Elder Joined: 13 Sep 2009 Posts: 2139 Location: Rising from the ashes Items Legends 37957 Fables 1592 Strata-gems Posted: Sun Jul 24, 2011 4:58 pm    Post subject: Alrighty then, here ya go. A shiny new forum just for your excellent story! Another C'ren victory among many Now then, finally caught up again AND... well... I think... um... There should be plenty of information still derivable from the equipment here. Computers and such. Problem is that it won't operate quickly here. So we need to transport all research equipment over to the other side where we actually HAVE some time. There we can update things. But first, we need to make sure we are really friends and not just being duped by a clever jerk. One niggle spot: Quote: The statue-like guards on the other side were wearing a black uniform and had nasty looking rifle’s at hand. There's a couple of errors here, or perhaps better yet - there would be improved ways to express this statement. Try: The statue-like guards on the other side were wearing black uniforms and had nasty looking rifles at hand. Now, I realize you were a bit worried about how the explanation may have come across but it seemed to flow pretty well for me. What it DID leave me wondering was what was the pillar he knocked out? Was it the war then? It just doesn't seem like that should be considered an unchangeable thing as it seems to have only begun thanks to tampering and manipulations so that makes me think we're being tampered and manipulated with in this discussion. _________________ CHAPTER 25: Near-Light Speed (NEW CHAPTER! (12/4/2011)) Zephyrrr! And... Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends 69488 Fables 1825 Strata-gems Posted: Mon Jul 25, 2011 1:43 am    Post subject: Ooh, nice idea there T! I can work with that. And duly added to the options. So the poll is now up! Smile at the hot chick of voting. _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author Chinaren Hallowed IFian Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 8880 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends 69488 Fables 1825 Strata-gems Posted: Thu Jul 28, 2011 3:08 pm    Post subject: OMG, can't believe it's been so long since the last chapter! ~Slow warnings himself~ Another episode will be up tonight, or I'm not Shane McRamadadon. _________________ Neil Hartley Books. My Amazon page. Back to top Author Thunderbird Elder Joined: 13 Sep 2009 Posts: 2139 Location: Rising from the ashes Items Legends 37957 Fables 1592 Strata-gems Posted: Sat Jul 30, 2011 11:29 am    Post subject: So... remind me... where did we send 'old' Randy? I'm going to have to say our primary objective here is going to have to be recovering Claire and telling these bastards to go to hell. But more importantly... not worried so much about turning myself in right now. I mean, it seems we've got the ball rolling in the right direction and if we haven't then we have more to understand. I'm ready to 'turn myself in' knowing that this doesn't mean that older us has turned himself in as well... _________________ CHAPTER 25: Near-Light Speed (NEW CHAPTER! (12/4/2011)) Zephyrrr! And... 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