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The Powers That Be
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PostPosted: Sat Nov 19, 2005 6:09 pm    Post subject: The Dear Dotty Archives Reply with quote

Dear Dotty,

I have been married to a wonderful man for 15 years and I’ve never doubted him. However, over the last few weeks he’s started ‘working late’ at the office and he seems to have lost interest in me. Then yesterday when I was doing laundry, I found a crumpled-up piece of paper in his pocket with a phone number scrawled on it. I called the number and a woman answered. I hung up without saying anything, but now I’m really scared. Should I confront him, or am I just being silly?

Worried in Wabash


Dear Worried,

You have every right to be concerned. But I can’t recommend that you confront him now, without any hard evidence – he’ll tell you that nothing is going on whether or not that’s the truth.

Several years ago, I had similar suspicions about my beloved husband Jack (God rest his soul). Back in those days, it was easier to confirm my suspicions: I was able to obtain an inexpensive remote audio monitoring device to listen in on his phone conversations and covert minivideo pinhole cameras for watching the house when I was away. Nowadays, of course, with all the terrorist activity and attempts on Our Leader’s life, such devices have sensibly been outlawed for commercial sale. Your best option, unfortunately, will be rather more costly than mine were: you really need to hire yourself a Leadership-approved private investigator.

If you find that your husband is having an affair with this woman, don’t confront him immediately. Give yourself time to get over your initial feelings of shock and betrayal. Then, when you are capable of discussing the situation rationally, sit him down and present him with your evidence. If you do this, there’s a good chance you can nip this thing in the bud and salvage the marriage in which you’ve invested 15 years of your life. Above all, the two of you must think of your children (assuming your children are living).

If, on the other hand, the investigation confirms your real suspicions, do not hesitate – go immediately to the authorities at your local Leadership office or place of worship. Take it from one who’s been there – the longer you wait, the harder it will be and the worse it will go for you.

Most likely, it’s nothing and he really is just working hard. But better safe than sorry! Good luck, and I will say a prayer for you.

Dotty

Dotty is the country’s most popular advice columnist. She has helped hundreds of people like you. To write your letter to Dotty, simply post it here. Dotty reads every letter, but due to the volume of mail she receives, she cannot respond to every one. Letters may be edited for style or length.

_________________
Abduction! is in the Stasis Hall, but read it anyway!
Got a problem? Write to Dear Dotty!


Last edited by The Powers That Be on Thu Aug 03, 2006 7:32 pm; edited 3 times in total
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The Powers That Be
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PostPosted: Tue Nov 22, 2005 5:15 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Dear Dotty,

I’m so worried that my little boy might be experimenting with drugs. We had the perfect mother-son relationship until around the time that he turned thirteen. Now he always seems to be locked away in the bathroom. I’ve tried asking him about it but he just gets so secretive and embarrassed.

One night I walked into his bedroom to say goodnight, only to find him trying to hide something under the covers.

Could it be drugs? What should I do?

Anxious in Arkansas


Dear Anxious,

I have good news and bad news for you. The good news is that I believe you are misinterpreting your son’s behavior. The bad news is that you may have a serious problem on your hands, and you must move quickly to address it.

There are three possible explanations for what is happening. The first (and least likely) is that your son has in fact become involved with illicit drugs. I recommend that you search his room the next time he is out of the apartment. If you don’t find anything but are still concerned, you can purchase a home chemical sweep kit from your local Leadership office, as long as your name hasn’t been put on the Neighborhood Watch list. These kits are easy to use and will quickly detect traces of most illegal substances, from alcohol, tobacco and cocoa all the way to heroin and viagra.

It is far more likely, however, that your son is engaging in the sin of Onan. You may find this shocking, but it is quite common and perfectly understandable for children of this age. You see, as boys in particular enter puberty, they often undergo growth spurts and significant rapid weight gain (there are other changes as well, but they are irrelevant here). The doses of their standard sacrament set were fixed at their last checkup and may no longer be adequate to control this sort of behavior. I suggest you take him for a visit with your local clergyman as soon as you can get an appointment. Have him or her confirm the appropriate doses of your son’s sacraments, particularly of the phenothiazines and fluoxetine. Most likely, after a simple increase in dosage, your son will return to normal in a few days and you won’t have to worry about this forbidden behavior again.

If neither of these approaches solves the problem, then I’m afraid your son may be in very serious trouble. To see if you should be concerned, answer the following questions.

1. Has your child started associating with a different group of friends?
2. Is your child spending more time than usual on the telephone or computer?
3. Do your child’s prayers to Our Leader seem to have less fervency than usual?
4. Is your child asking more questions about Our Leader and His Blessed Society?

If you answered ‘Yes’ to more than one of these questions, you must immediately report your suspicions to the proper authorities. I know this can be an agonizing decision, but you really must. Think of your other children (as he is 13, he has at least 4 impressionable younger siblings that you need to protect)!

I know I may sound cold to you, but it is only because of my own bitter experience. I had an opportunity to stop my own daughter (God rest her soul) when she began exhibiting some of these same behaviors. However, I hesitated, and the result was a terrible accident. Know that I am not overreacting. You cannot afford to underreact.

One last thing. I suspect you live in an older, pre-code apartment, but you must be aware of the law against door locks in private residences. You really must arrange to remove any locks in your home as soon as possible.

Good luck to you, and know that you and your son are in my prayers.

Dotty

Dotty is the country’s most popular advice columnist. She has helped hundreds of people like you. To write your letter to Dotty, simply post it here. Dotty reads every letter, but due to the volume of mail she receives, she cannot respond to every one. Letters may be edited for style or length.

_________________
Abduction! is in the Stasis Hall, but read it anyway!
Got a problem? Write to Dear Dotty!


Last edited by The Powers That Be on Thu Aug 03, 2006 7:34 pm; edited 2 times in total
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The Powers That Be
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PostPosted: Wed Nov 30, 2005 9:44 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Dear Dotty,

My friend M. and I have known each other since we were born, and we've always gone to the same places and done the same things together. But ever since we turned sixteen, M. has been acting in an odd manner toward me. She constantly bats her eyes at me and insists on engaging in close contact. Sometimes she makes jokes about how maybe someday we should go ‘all the way’. I thought she would get over it, but the behavior has continued, and I am growing worried. What does she mean by: "You don't understand!"? What am I supposed to understand? Is it possible she has contracted some strange disease?

Confused in California


Dear Confused,

Oh, to be young again! This is a very exciting time of life for you and M., but I understand that it can be a confusing and frightening time as well. First of all, be assured that you and M. are not alone (nor are either of you ill!) – what you are experiencing and feeling is a natural part of growing up. Assuming your parents are following Our Leader’s Homeschooling of Boys Curriculum to the letter, you will be learning all about this within the next few months, but for you and for others who may not be getting their proper education, I will fill in a few of the basics.

Your friend M., now that she is 16, is preparing for impending marriage and motherhood. As part of her preparations, she is cycling off of her girlhood sacraments, a year-long process that will leave her body ready to receive a child. As a result, she is being flooded with new feelings and sensations that are difficult to understand or control. Not for nothing do they call it Sinful Sixteen!

It must be strange for you to see your friend go through these changes when you yourself remain unchanged. After all, you will not cycle off your boyhood sacraments until next year, after you are married (it takes much less time to flush the sacred chemicals from your body). Be patient and understanding with M., but do not let her coerce you into doing something you will both regret. Remind her that she need only be patient for a little longer. When you are together, be sure to keep your Chaperone close – he or she will know what to do.

Remember that you are a very lucky boy. It sounds like you and M. like each other very much. It’s not too early to start talking about putting each other at the top of your lists for next year’s Wedding Lottery – remember, if you both list the other first, your chances of being matched are really quite high (as long as your Chaperone can file a positive report, of course). I wish you both the best of luck and I will say a prayer for you. Oh, to be young again!

Dotty

***

Dear Readers,

You may notice some changes in this column over the upcoming weeks in response to Our Leader’s historic speech the other night. I for one was thrilled to hear Our Leader acknowledge the existence of the Resistance and the serious threat that it poses to our blessed way of life. Countering the Resistance may be the great battle of our time, and it is one that is particularly important to me, as so much of my personal history is tied up with that movement. As you know, I have referred tangentially in previous columns to the Resistance and how to avoid its clutches. Now, with the support of Leadership, I will be free to respond more plainly to your questions when I must touch on this subject in my responses. Of course, I will continue to respond to the whole range of letters I get, about relationships, ethics, household how-tos, you name it! The new policy will only affect a small percentage of replies. So keep those letters coming! And bless you all.

Love,
Dotty

Dotty is the country’s most popular advice columnist. She has helped hundreds of people like you. To write your letter to Dotty, simply post it here. Dotty reads every letter, but due to the volume of mail she receives, she cannot respond to every one. Letters may be edited for style or length.

_________________
Abduction! is in the Stasis Hall, but read it anyway!
Got a problem? Write to Dear Dotty!


Last edited by The Powers That Be on Thu Aug 03, 2006 7:34 pm; edited 2 times in total
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The Powers That Be
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PostPosted: Thu Dec 01, 2005 6:59 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Dear Dotty,

My husband and I have been married for twelve years, and God has blessed us with four wonderful children. Over that time, in addition to raising the children I've also continued to practice my hobby, which is photography. I don't like to brag, but I have won some awards, and professionals have told me that my work is very good.

Here's my problem: my husband wants us to have more children, but I want to stop so that I can focus more on my art, and maybe even become a professional photographer. My husband says that to be a wife and mother is God's special calling for women. Dotty, I love my children, and they will always be first in my heart, but I feel that God has given me a gift for photography for a reason. I want to show the world the beauty of God's creation, and I feel that God is calling me to do that.

What do you think?

Uncertain in Seattle


Dear Uncertain,

What do I think? I think both you and your husband seem to know a great deal about what God wants. With all your knowledge of God’s will, I can’t imagine why you need advice from poor mortal Dotty.

Here’s a novel idea: let’s let God worry about what He should be doing, and you and your husband worry about what you should be doing. As the Good Book says, “Render unto Our Leader the things which are Our Leader’s, and unto God the things that are God’s.” This passage teaches us that Our Leader has purview over Earthly matters, while God oversees spiritual matters (and spiritual matters only).

How does this relate to your situation? You know full well that Our Leader instituted the One Three Five program for a terribly important reason. We must grow our country’s population to keep pace with the teeming hordes of barbarians and heathens that threaten our shores, and to support the ongoing war efforts that are needed to preserve our sacred national security. Without the commitment of all citizens to One pregnancy every Three years until Five children, our society will collapse within a generation.

You must suppress your selfish desire to pursue your hobby and focus on the critical part you play as part of a truly great society. Remember, artistic talent may be a sign of personal virtue, but it is not a sufficient basis for a sound, functioning community. Besides, even if you were to stop giving birth, like all women, you could not obtain a work permit until after you finish home-schooling the children you already have. The only exceptions are for those who have lost parental privileges and are infertile (both of which would require criminal acts). Do your duty and bide your time. There will be opportunity enough after the last of your children reaches conscription age.

This is not to let your husband off the hook, though! It sounds to me that his desire for more children is driven more by his own selfishness than by a sense of civic duty. If Our Leader saw fit to change the policy tomorrow, would your husband still cling to his argument that God demands more babies? You both need to be careful: selfishness leads people down dangerous paths, as Our Leader reminded us in his historic address last week.

I recommend family counseling for both of you, perhaps involving some mild reeducation. You can set up sessions at your local place of worship or Leadership office. Good luck to both of you, and bless you and your present and future children.

Dotty

***

Corrections:

In my last column, I made two regrettable errors in reference to the content of Our Leader’s historic speech. I referred to ‘the serious threat’ that the Resistance poses to our society. Of course, no such threat exists – the Resistance, while evil and dangerous, is not and never will be powerful enough to imperil our blessed way of life. Also, I said that I am now ‘more free’ to discuss the Resistance in my column. This was not meant to imply that I was in any way restricted or censored from talking about it in the past. It was my own reticence that made me circumspect, not any kind of outside coercion. I sincerely regret the errors and any misunderstandings that may have arisen from them.

Dotty

Dotty is the country’s most popular advice columnist. She has helped hundreds of people like you. To write your letter to Dotty, simply post it here. Dotty reads every letter, but due to the volume of mail she receives, she cannot respond to every one. Letters may be edited for style or length.

_________________
Abduction! is in the Stasis Hall, but read it anyway!
Got a problem? Write to Dear Dotty!


Last edited by The Powers That Be on Thu Aug 03, 2006 7:35 pm; edited 2 times in total
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The Powers That Be
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Location: Santa Monica, CA

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PostPosted: Sun Dec 04, 2005 6:56 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Dear Dotty,

Thank you so much for your column. I've been a loyal reader for years.

I remember long ago you published an inspirational poem called "I Know" about a mother coping with her child's death. That poem was so meaningful to me, I kept in on my refrigerator for months, but I don't have it anymore. Could you reprint that poem so that I could give it to a friend who recently lost her son? I'm sure it would help ease her pain.

Loyal Reader


Dear Loyal,

Given the times in which we live, it is perhaps no surprise that this is the single most-requested of my columns. I am happy to reprint the poem, and I hope it brings solace to your friend as it has to so many others over the years.

I Know
by Anonymous

I know a boy who liked to dance around the living room,
I know a boy whose face was bright as roses in full bloom.

I know a boy who dreamed of serving in Our Leader’s Throng,
I know a boy who would have grown up tall and brave and strong.

I know a boy who smiled and laughed long past his head was shaved,
And I know a boy who loved me til the day he met his grave.

This boy I know, he was my son, the apple of my eye,
I know I shouldn’t mourn him so, I know I shouldn’t cry.

I know he’s one of many who all met this dreadful fate,
And I know that other children can do nothing now but wait.

I know the medicines exist to save them from their plight,
And I know instead the funds are needed elsewhere in our fight.

I know I’m being selfish when I wish he were still here.
I know of our priorities, they’re logical and clear.

I know that over weeks and months the memories will fade,
And I know another just like him can easily be made.

I know it won’t be long before my duties I’ll fulfill,
I know above all else that we must do Our Leader’s will.

I know that soon I’ll find the strength to stop asking “Lord, why?”
I know that it’s enough that I was there to say “Goodbye.”
I know that it is right that children live and grow and die,
But I think that it’s all right to take this day or two and cry.

Dotty

Dotty is the country’s most popular advice columnist. She has helped hundreds of people like you. To write your letter to Dotty, simply post it here. Dotty reads every letter, but due to the volume of mail she receives, she cannot respond to every one. Letters may be edited for style or length.

_________________
Abduction! is in the Stasis Hall, but read it anyway!
Got a problem? Write to Dear Dotty!


Last edited by The Powers That Be on Thu Aug 03, 2006 7:35 pm; edited 2 times in total
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PostPosted: Sat Apr 29, 2006 9:59 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Dear Dotty,

I have a question, Dotty. Why can’t I be a soldier like my brothers? Everyone keeps saying I have to stay home and be a Mom. Well, I don’t want to. Moms are boring and they don’t get to do the good stuff. I can already run and climb and scrap better than one of my brothers and he’s 3 years older than me.

Nobody takes me seriously. They all say I can’t. Well, what I want to know is WHY?

Alice
9 years old


Dear Alice,

You are obviously a very bright (and tough) young lady. I have had long experience with girls just like you – why, I was one myself, if you can believe it! The one thing they all have in common is that they always want to know ‘why’? Why can’t I be a soldier? Why do I have to take my sacraments? Why do we devote one day to God and six days to Our Leader? I assure you, Alice, these questions do have good answers, even though some of them may not make sense until you’re a little older.

This is a difficult time for you, with your brother about to join Our Leader’s great Throng and go to protect our nation from those who threaten our blessed way of life. In a few months, he’ll be gone. I know you want to follow in his footsteps, but you have your own path to follow. Alice, you are a terribly important person. Much too important, in fact, to risk by sending you off to war. Boys can be soldiers, but only girls can make soldiers. You have a duty and a calling that is even more important than your brother’s, even if it doesn’t seem so exciting to you now.

I hope you understand why you are too important to send to war. But in case you still have doubts (which is perfectly normal at your age), ask your parents to take you to your local clergyman – he can adjust your sacraments so that you are not bothered by these thoughts anymore. In the meantime, I must warn you not to speak of your concerns with strangers. You see, Alice, there are people, terrible people, who will say that they can solve your ‘little problem’ for you. These criminals disguise themselves as legitimate clergymen and set up shop in local places of worship. You must not seek out such a person! They serve and service the Rebellion, and while they may do what you want of them, it comes at a terrible price. As Our Leader has said, they will take every opportunity to brainwash their ‘patients’, turn them against our great nation, and demand their fealty. They force their members to sacrifice Our Leader’s children and feast on their remains. No doubt you can think of friends who have “disappeared” over the years. Do not believe the wild rumors you may hear – they have met a terrible fate at the hands of the Rebellion! You must not even think of seeking out these scum. And if someone tells you that they can “cure” you of the blessings of motherhood, you must report them at once.

I am sorry to share all this with one so young, but hard times demand hard truths. Just remember, dear Alice, that Our Leader loves you and you are a very important part of His great plan for us all. Please write back and tell me how you are doing.

Dotty

Dotty is the country’s most popular advice columnist. She has helped hundreds of people like you. To write your letter to Dotty, simply post it here. Dotty reads every letter, but due to the volume of mail she receives, she cannot respond to every one. Letters may be edited for style or length.

_________________
Abduction! is in the Stasis Hall, but read it anyway!
Got a problem? Write to Dear Dotty!


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PostPosted: Wed May 17, 2006 8:53 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Dear Dotty,

My four-year-old daughter has been begging me to get her a dog. I've told her she will have her hands full once she has her own children and she'll be able to nurture new life then, but she argues that we need the dog to help her learn how. I can't help but see her point, but it scares me to think about her with a dog. Are they safe for little girls? What should my husband and I do?

Paradoxed in Peoria


Dear Paradoxed,

It is with mixed feelings that I address your question. Many breeds of dog are certainly Leadership-approved (who among us has not seen the footage of Our Leader’s delightful Scottish Terrier?), and I myself have fond memories of growing up with a constant canine companion. So who am I to deny you and yours the joys of dog ownership? I must, however, warn you to choose your dog carefully, lest the same fate befall your family that did mine.

You see, some years ago, my husband and daughter (God rest their souls) expressed the desire for a family dog. I didn’t see any harm in it, so we found ourselves the proud owners of a black Labrador named Luke (yes, the name was not yet forbidden, but how could I not have seen what would happen?). My husband was especially taken with Luke and would go on long walks with him every evening. I thought nothing of it when some of the “walks” got much longer, and even when the bombings started, I failed to make the obvious connections. Well, the details of what transpired are a story for another time, but much later, I realized that it was Luke, our oh-so-innocent pet, who delivered my husband into the clutches of the Rebellion. He had obviously been trained by their monstrous leaders as a recruitment tool. Once he had my poor unsuspecting husband at the other end of his leash, he led him right to the Rebellion hideout in our community. My husband never had a chance.

Rest assured, thanks to my testimony, that breeder won't be selling any more dogs (or doing any other sort of business, for that matter). But I often think about what my life would be like if we had never acquired that beast, about having my dear family whole again and loyal to Our Leader. I am forever haunted by those words from the Good Book, “How could your servant, a mere dog, do this monstrous thing?” (2 Kings 8:13)

So you see, Paradoxed, this issue is very personal to me. I don’t want you to take my cautionary tale as an exhortation to avoid a pet, however. I do urge you to do your homework before you get one. Seek out the most patriotic dog-owners in your community and find out where they obtained their animals. Once you choose a breeder, have the Better Business Bureau do a background check on the employees and examine their telephone transcripts to make sure everything is in order. I cannot stress enough that you must choose a dog with care, because it really can exert a great deal of influence on your family.

Good luck making your decision. And if you decide to move forward with this, I wish you many years of happiness with the new addition to your family!

Dotty

***

Dear Readers,

One of the most common questions I am asked by my readers is, “Dotty, you must get so many letters, how do you decide which ones to answer?” It is true that I receive many thousands of letters every week from troubled readers all across our great nation. I do wish I could answer each and every one, but of course I have only a few column inches (and the editor refuses to make this an All-Dotty paper, ha ha). There is a process by which my wonderful staff and I winnow the letters down to the select few, and today I’d like to share a bit of our thought process with you.

I’m always looking for questions about real problems that will resonate with a wide swath of citizens. Questions about relationships, love, betrayal, loss, family, duty, ethics, etc. The questions that really grab me have a timeless quality as well: I often ask myself, “would this question be as meaningful a hundred years ago, or a hundred years from now?” Often, letters focus on very specific or parochial concerns (complaints about garbage removal, for example) or on settled matters of fact, doctrine, or procedure (if you find a forbidden artifact from the Old Times, your local clergyman is much better positioned than I to tell you when your town’s Burning Days are). As important as these issues are to the writer (and believe me, I know that they are), I fear that I cannot in good faith use my national column to address what, sadly, amount to minutiae and will be of little help to my readership at large.

Next week, I will be attending an awards ceremony (from an extremely small, very obscure organization, but Leadership-approved, I assure you!) for which my little column has been nominated for its “Style and Originality”. While I am obviously proud and flattered, I am reminded that this nomination really belongs to all of you, my loyal readers, who share your darkest secrets, fears and joys with me and your fellow countrymen. Without you, there would be no Dear Dotty. So please keep those letters coming, and thank you all, from the bottom of my heart.

All my love,
Dotty

Dotty is the country’s most popular advice columnist. She has helped hundreds of people like you. To write your letter to Dotty, simply post it here. Dotty reads every letter, but due to the volume of mail she receives, she cannot respond to every one. Letters may be edited for style or length.

_________________
Abduction! is in the Stasis Hall, but read it anyway!
Got a problem? Write to Dear Dotty!


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PostPosted: Thu May 18, 2006 2:54 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Dear Dotty,

My eldest daughter has recently started seeing a boy romantically. At first I thought it was a good thing. Now it’s ruining my life.

I was attracted to him from the first moment I saw him. I don’t know why. He’s many years younger than me and my daughter obviously dotes on him. She’d never forgive me if she knew what I was thinking. I feel so guilty!

The thing is, he looks at me in a certain way sometimes, and I wonder if he feels it too. I’m certain it’s not my imagination. There’s definitely something there.

Please help. I’m desperate. I try to be a good father, but I don’t know how much longer I can hide the way I feel.

Torn in Toronto


Dear Torn,

In our nation’s struggle to become a truly Great Society, there are a number of forces that hold us back. One of the most powerful of these is our citizens’ reluctance to throw off the shackles of bias and tradition and fully embrace Our Leader’s wisdom and benevolent guidance. I am not blaming you, Torn, oh no – we are all hidebound to a greater or lesser degree. But believe me when I tell you that what you see a problem is really just an opportunity in disguise. But, in the interests of your daughter and her friend, as well as Our Leader, you must exercise patience and self-control for some time to come.

Your eldest daughter will be married soon – what a wonderful and exciting time for all of you! But what happens to her husband once she gets pregnant and then has children to worry about? Our Leader teaches us by his own shining example that men have needs that usually cannot be completely satisfied by their wives once the children come and demand all her time and energy. Obviously, you understand this fact, or you wouldn’t have written me in such distress.

In an ideal world, men would satisfy their needs, guilt-free, with barren (and therefore unmarried) women or with other men. In reality, several factors conspire to complicate what should be so simple. First, wives tend to get jealous when their husbands are cavorting with others. I recall vividly the feelings of rage and shame I felt when I discovered my husband (God rest his soul) was keeping company with another. This leads men (like my husband) to keep their affairs secret, which makes them more likely to get emotionally involved. Eventually, the whole situation blows up, a marriage lies in ruins, and (most important) the children do not have the stable, structured family environment that molds them into suitable members of Our Leader’s Throng and society at large. Of even greater concern, however, is that unlike Our Leader, most men do not have full access to the background checks and risk profile analyses of their prospective companions. Thus, they are easily duped and recruited by members of the Resistance, who have no qualms about using a man’s God-given desires and needs against him. And think of the poor wife, wondering what sort of activity her husband is engaging in when he is out so late at night – innocent play or nefarious plots?

And so we come to your situation, Torn. If all goes for the best, your daughter’s romance will blossom and she and her beau will come through the Wedding Lottery as husband and wife. In this case, all you must do is wait until they have done their duty and your daughter is pregnant. Then you may pursue her husband with a clear conscience. How much better for all of you than the various alternatives! You and your young man can satisfy your needs together. Your daughter has no need to wonder where her husband is when he is away at night – she can sleep peacefully in the knowledge that he is safe in her father’s arms (the same goes for your wife as well). Oh, it may take some time to convince your daughter that this is all good and proper, but since I am sure she is a good citizen, she will eventually be forced to accept the word of her husband, her father and Our Leader on the subject.

If, on the other hand, your daughter changes her mind before the lottery, your situation is even simpler. You may pursue this man freely, although I urge you not to keep your situation a secret from your wife. It is admittedly difficult for a woman to understand and accept Our Leader’s guidance in this area, but if we are to be good citizens, we must learn to put aside our antiquated notions of love and sexual monogamy and accept our role. I hope your wife accepts these facts freely – I myself learned to understand, but at a much greater cost.

Dotty

***

Dear Readers,

My recent response to Alice, age 9, has received an overwhelming response. While most of your comments were positive and supportive, there were a substantial number of you who questioned the nature of my answer. As Joe R. from Lubbock put it, “Dotty, you gave that poor girl step-by-step instructions on how to become a criminal and have herself mutilated! For shame!” To Joe and all other concerned readers: one does not defeat evil by pretending it does not exist. I know it is disturbing to see more details about Resistance activities and abominations than have been revealed in the past. However, the newly appointed Minister of Information, Trey Gillman (who happens to be an old friend of mine), agrees that forewarned is forearmed and we must do more to educate the public on our enemies. It is ludicrous to suggest that my little column could serve as a recruiting tool for our enemies – I did not, after all, reveal any of the passcodes or signals that Resistance members use to identify themselves and their sympathizers. I do appreciate and understand the concerns, dear readers: we are all working to shape our nation into the paradise envisioned by Our Leader.

Love,
Dotty

Dotty is the country’s most popular advice columnist. She has helped hundreds of people like you. To write your letter to Dotty, simply post it here. Dotty reads every letter, but due to the volume of mail she receives, she cannot respond to every one. Letters may be edited for style or length.

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PostPosted: Fri Jun 02, 2006 10:46 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Dear Dotty,

Who's more important, the Leader or God? My brother says God, but I say the Leader is. We asked Mom and she said she couldn't explain it but maybe you could.

Josie
10 years old


Dear Josie,

Sometimes it seems that all my most difficult questions come from children like you. I think that’s wonderful: all these smart and thoughtful letters I receive fill me with confidence that when we old folks are ready to step aside, Our Leader will have a strong new generation ready and willing to take our place.

So who’s more important, God or Our Leader? Ah, Josie, you may as well ask which is more important for life, the Sun or the Earth? There is no simple answer and I am no expert on theology, which is why I generally try to avoid writing too much about spiritual matters. But today I’ll make an exception and do my best to explain.

You see, Josie, God and Our Leader have a special relationship. You can read about how it began in the Good Book: “This is what the Lord says: ‘I raised you up from among the people and made you the Leader over my people.'” (1 Kings 14:7). This passage tells us that God has made Our Leader his equal partner in guiding our great nation. Think how lucky we are to have both God and Our Leader working for all of us, Josie! Imagine what life must be like in the lands of our enemies, the heathen nations beyond our borders. Many of those countries have leaders that say they work for God, but we know this to be false, because God and Our Leader have condemned them. This is what God has said about our neighbors: “They claim to know God, but by their actions they deny Him. They are detestable, disobedient and unfit for doing anything good.” (Titus 1:16)

You may ask, “How does this special relationship between God and Our Leader affect me?” Well, Josie, you have learned in school that our great nation is a democracy, the finest and truest democracy the world has ever known. We are democratic for a reason. Our Leader has, in his wisdom, created our government in the image of his and God’s government over the world. God creates the Laws that are to rule Heaven and Earth and all his people. He communicates these Laws to Our Leader, and Our Leader makes sure that they are faithfully followed by each and every one of us. This is called “executing” the Laws (not to be confused with the executions of rebels and war criminals that you see on TV every Sunday morning). For example, God made you capable of having babies, and Our Leader makes sure that you will have babies (when you’re older, of course, ha ha!).

Here in our nation, we have the Legislature, made up of fine men and women who are there to represent you and your community. Every year, Our Leader relays God’s directives to the members of the Legislature, who in turn create rules that will guide the people in their cities and towns (called their “constituents”). These rules, after being reviewed by Our Leader to ensure they reflect his and God’s will, become the laws of the land, the laws that you and everyone you know must obey. This structure, where Our Leader and the legislature work together for the good of our nation, is called the “system of checks and balances” and is there to protect your rights and meet your needs. For example, the legislature decides what your sacrament dosage should be, and Our Leader, working through his appointed clergymen, makes sure that you take them. As it is in Heaven, so shall it be on Earth.

Well, this was a long answer to your short question, Josie, but I hope you understand better that God and Our Leader are as necessary for us to live as air and water. Without either one, our nation would be plunged into the chaos and despair that rule the lands of our enemies – if you doubt me, ask any former member of Our Leader’s Throng about the horrors they have witnessed in those foreign places. I hope I’ve helped you, Josie. If you are still bothered by questions like these, I’m sure your local clergyman can tell you more or adjust your sacraments to calm your mind. May God and Our Leader bless you.

Dotty

Dotty is the country’s most popular advice columnist. She has helped hundreds of people like you. To write your letter to Dotty, simply post it here. Dotty reads every letter, but due to the volume of mail she receives, she cannot respond to every one. Letters may be edited for style or length.

_________________
Abduction! is in the Stasis Hall, but read it anyway!
Got a problem? Write to Dear Dotty!


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PostPosted: Sun Jun 11, 2006 12:54 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Dear Dotty,

Much of my family immigrated to our great nation over a decade ago; we went through all the screenings and were allowed to stay. However, my brother Abraham stayed behind in the land of our enemies and I haven’t heard from him since the Occupation began. I know that he probably joined the rebel forces there and fought against our brave soldiers, but he’s my brother and I can't help but worry about him.

Is it wrong to want to discover what happened to a traitor to the glorious Leader’s cause, just because he’s my brother? I miss him so much, and I just don't know what to do.

Tormented in Tallahassee


Dear Tormented,

Throughout human history, people have felt the pull of family bonds. As the author Paul Pearsall once wrote, “Our most basic instinct is not for survival but for family.” One of the great challenges we face as citizens is to overcome this tribalistic devotion, to remind ourselves that service to Our Leader and to God come first. An overweening love of family has caused many of the great tragedies of history. Even today, the Rebellion, both here at home and in the Occupied Territories, thrives in large part because of the reluctance of innocent citizens to turn in their brethren . Worse, family members are the most likely targets of rebel recruitment efforts – I know all too well how persuasive these arguments can be when they come from the mouths of loved ones.

I understand from your letter, Tormented, that you have no information about your dear brother’s activities, and I believe you. It is understandable that you wish to know what has become of him, but I urge you to remember the words of the Good Book: "If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters, he cannot be my disciple.” (Luke 14:26). This passage teaches us that in order to be true and good followers of God and Our Leader, we must feel the same distrust for those who are closest to us that we do for everyone else in our communities. It is a hard law, but a terribly important one.

I can offer you some small hope for your brother. If you are correct and he is working against Our Leader, he will of course be rooted out in due time; this is the fate of all Rebel agents. There is a good chance that he will be taken alive. If this happens and he freely names his fellow rebels, he will benefit from Our Leader’s unbounded mercy by receiving Re-education. The process is extremely long and excruciatingly painful (the memory of it still makes me shudder) and only about one in three have the emotional strength to succeed, but if he reaches the end and passes the final test, he will be allowed to join and serve our great nation. Of course, he will be a slave until such time as he receives special dispensation from Our Leader or one of Our Leader’s appointed justices (my eternal thanks go out to Trey Gillman, now the Minister of Information, who upon knowing me recognized my worthiness), but that is a small price to pay for the freedom of mind he receives from joining Our Leader’s flock.

I’m sorry I cannot tell you a kinder, gentler story, but I try to peddle only in truth. The best chance for you to regain your brother is the arduous path I have described above. Unfortunately, even this route is lately coming under attack. There are forces within our society (forces loyal to Our Leader, no doubt, but misguided in my humble estimation) that are trying to eliminate the Re-education Program. They point to the recidivism rate, which is admittedly close to 50%, and question whether we should be allowing such risky individuals back into society, even in the controlled environment of the Slave Farms. These arguments are pushed most strongly by high-ranking officers in the Throng and by Our Leader’s television network (whose executives would like to air more high-ratings executions). However, many of us believe we must resist these efforts, follow the merciful example of Our Leader and work to make Re-education even more effective than it already is. After all, the greatest resource our nation has is people, and we cannot afford to throw them away. My good friend Trey Gillman and I, among others, are helping to lead this defense, but of course it will be Our Leader who tells us the right thing to do in the end.

To sum up, Tormented, you must harden your heart. Your brother is your enemy, and you must remember that, particularly if you are ever contacted by him. If so, you must urge him to turn himself in, and then report all information you possess to the proper authorities and support any attempt to capture him. Paradoxically, it is only by being a good citizen and working against your brother that you have any hope of someday welcoming him back into the fold. I wish you well.

Dotty

Dotty is the country’s most popular advice columnist. She has helped hundreds of people like you. To write your letter to Dotty, simply post it here. Dotty reads every letter, but due to the volume of mail she receives, she cannot respond to every one. Letters may be edited for style or length.

_________________
Abduction! is in the Stasis Hall, but read it anyway!
Got a problem? Write to Dear Dotty!


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PostPosted: Mon Jul 03, 2006 2:05 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Dear Dotty,

My 16-year-old daughter has recently been acting out of sorts. She sits in her room staring at the wall, sometimes even conversing with it. She hugs lamps. She kissed the mailbox last week. I am terribly concerned; this isn't normal behavior.

Have I done this to my dear 16 year old daughter? She used to be very interested in men as well, but lately she prefers shiny objects. Dotty, what can I do?

Worried in Washington


Dear Worried,

I applaud you for being such a caring parent to your daughter. Too often, even in these enlightened times, citizens overlook from their family members the kind of aberrant behavior that they would immediately report from a stranger. Your concern is well-placed and there are indeed things you can do to help.

The mind of a sixteen-year-old girl is a fragile thing. Many girls exhibit some unusual behaviors while cycling off their girlhood sacraments, behaviors which usually last only a short time. What you describe, however, sounds far more serious.

You need to have your daughter examined by a mental health professional. Go to the Emergency Room at your Leadership Office; your local clergyman is unlikely to be very experienced in these matters. Insist on seeing a qualified Deficiency Expert (do not ask for Decency Enforcement – you’d be surprised how many people make this mistake). A well-trained DE can very quickly assess whether the source of your daughter’s disorder is physical, spiritual or mental in nature.

The problem may simply be that you were given an incorrect dosage schedule and your daughter is cycling down too quickly. When the schedule is fixed, she should return to normal almost immediately. And the resulting Performance Improvement Action for your local clergyman will ensure that such errors do not affect other children in your neighborhood.

Many parents in your situation assume that demonic forces are at play. These fears are nearly always unfounded, but are reinforced by numerous hysterical books on the subject, most notoriously The Seven Habits of Demonically Possessed People and The Satan-Driven Life, both by Deerik Chorren, the charlatan whose so-called advice column runs in another newspaper (I’ve heard that a Ministry of Information investigation of Mr. Chorren is underway: about time, I say!). Suffice it to say that actual, scientifically sound diagnoses of possession are extremely rare, and as you have not described your daughter engaging in impossible or sacrilegious activities, I would put any fears you have in this regard right out of your mind.

I must tell you that it is possible that your DE will diagnose your daughter with some form of mental illness. While this is obviously a very upsetting thought, know that you live in the best possible place and time to deal with this problem. In the Old Times, believe it or not, the mentally ill were often neglected and forced to live on the streets. Worse, it was believed that these diseases could be cured through exotic ‘medicines’ and/or months or years of ‘therapy’. Thus, victims and their families were given false hopes, only to have them cruelly dashed much later.

Today, we understand that there are no viable cures for mental illness, and yet our society is a tent that is big enough for everyone. With a simple surgery, a person’s troubles are all put behind her and she can become a productive member of Our Leader’s great society. A young woman like your daughter would likely be placed in the Throng’s Carnal Services Department, nobly serving our boys in the field. If this is what happens with her, you will be comfortable in the knowledge that she has a lifetime of absolute contentment in front of her, and, since you will be raising her offspring alongside your own, you will feel close to her even though she is far away. And who knows? She may even recognize you when you visit.

So you see, Worried, you really have very little to be concerned about. Get your daughter the help she needs. Remember that some people never got to see my daughter reach the age of 16, and be sure to cherish every moment with her. I will keep her in my prayers.

Dotty

***

Dear Readers,

I was greatly dismayed and not a little embarrassed to discover that the author I quoted in my last column, Paul Pearsall, is on Our Leader’s forbidden writer’s list. Thank you to all the readers who reported my terrible gaffe to the Ministry of Information. I want you to know how such a thing could have happened. It turns out that there was an error in the last edition of the list, which was published when Jack Lint was Minister of Information (the same Mr. Lint who is now the Minister of Security and one of Our Leader’s closest advisors). In that list, Mr. Pearsall’s name was mistakenly given as ‘Paul Pearshall’. The current Minister of Information, Trey Gillman, tells me that there are many such errors in the published list, enough that his office is investigating whether they were truly accidental. Look for a corrected and updated list, prepared under Trey's direct supervision, very soon.

While this explains my mistake, it does not forgive it. I want you to know that I have disposed of the offending books and my staff is now going through my entire library and burning any questionable texts that may have escaped prior purges. I sincerely apologize for my error and promise that it will not happen again.

Yours,
Dotty

Dotty is the country’s most popular advice columnist. She has helped hundreds of people like you. To write your letter to Dotty, simply post it here. Dotty reads every letter, but due to the volume of mail she receives, she cannot respond to every one. Letters may be edited for style or length.

_________________
Abduction! is in the Stasis Hall, but read it anyway!
Got a problem? Write to Dear Dotty!


Last edited by The Powers That Be on Wed Mar 12, 2008 1:04 pm; edited 1 time in total
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PostPosted: Wed Mar 12, 2008 1:03 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

"Dear Dotty" Readers:
Dotty has called to our attention a small transcription error that was made during typesetting of her latest column. The corrected column is printed below. We apologize to Dotty for the error and to our readers for any confusion it may have caused.
-The Editor

Dear Dotty,

My 16-year-old daughter has recently been acting out of sorts. She sits in her room staring at the wall, sometimes even conversing with it. She hugs lamps. She kissed the mailbox last week. I am terribly concerned; this isn't normal behavior.

Have I done this to my dear 16 year old daughter? She used to be very interested in men as well, but lately she prefers shiny objects. Dotty, what can I do?

Worried in Washington


Dear Worried,

I applaud you for being such a caring parent to your daughter. Too often, even in these enlightened times, citizens overlook from their family members the kind of aberrant behavior that they would immediately report from a stranger. Your concern is well-placed and there are indeed things you can do to help.

The mind of a sixteen-year-old girl is a fragile thing. Many girls exhibit some unusual behaviors while cycling off their girlhood sacraments, behaviors which usually last only a short time. What you describe, however, sounds far more serious.

You need to have your daughter examined by a mental health professional. Go to the Emergency Room at your Leadership Office; your local clergyman is unlikely to be very experienced in these matters. Insist on seeing a qualified Deficiency Expert (do not ask for Decency Enforcement – you’d be surprised how many people make this mistake). A well-trained DE can very quickly assess whether the source of your daughter’s disorder is physical, spiritual or mental in nature.

The problem may simply be that you were given an incorrect dosage schedule and your daughter is cycling down too quickly. When the schedule is fixed, she should return to normal almost immediately. And the resulting Performance Improvement Action for your local clergyman will ensure that such errors do not affect other children in your neighborhood.

Many parents in your situation assume that demonic forces are at play. These fears are nearly always unfounded, but are reinforced by numerous hysterical books on the subject, most notoriously The Seven Habits of Demonically Possessed People and The Satan-Driven Life, both by Deerik Chorren, the charlatan whose so-called advice column runs in another newspaper (I’ve heard that a Ministry of Information investigation of Mr. Chorren is underway: about time, I say!). Suffice it to say that actual, scientifically sound diagnoses of possession are extremely rare, and as you have not described your daughter engaging in impossible or sacrilegious activities, I would put any fears you have in this regard right out of your mind.

I must tell you that it is possible that your DE will diagnose your daughter with some form of mental illness. While this is obviously a very upsetting thought, know that you live in the best possible place and time to deal with this problem. In the Old Times, believe it or not, the mentally ill were often neglected and forced to live on the streets. Worse, it was believed that these diseases could be cured through exotic ‘medicines’ and/or months or years of ‘therapy’. Thus, victims and their families were given false hopes, only to have them cruelly dashed much later.

Today, we understand that there are no viable cures for mental illness, and yet our society is a tent that is big enough for everyone. With a simple surgery, a person’s troubles are all put behind her and she can become a productive member of Our Leader’s great society. A young woman like your daughter would likely be placed in the Throng’s Carnal Services Department, nobly serving our boys in the field. If this is what happens with her, you will be comfortable in the knowledge that she has a lifetime of absolute contentment in front of her, and, since you will be raising her offspring alongside your own, you will feel close to her even though she is far away. And who knows? She may even recognize you when you visit.

So you see, Worried, you really have very little to be concerned about. Get your daughter the help she needs. Remember that some people never get to see their daughters reach the age of 16, and be sure to cherish every moment with her. I will keep her in my prayers.

Dotty

***

Dear Readers,

I was greatly dismayed and not a little embarrassed to discover that the author I quoted in my last column, Paul Pearsall, is on Our Leader’s forbidden writer’s list. Thank you to all the readers who reported my terrible gaffe to the Ministry of Information. I want you to know how such a thing could have happened. It turns out that there was an error in the last edition of the list, which was published when Jack Lint was Minister of Information (the same Mr. Lint who is now the Minister of Security and one of Our Leader’s closest advisors). In that list, Mr. Pearsall’s name was mistakenly given as ‘Paul Pearshall’. The current Minister of Information, Trey Gillman, tells me that there are many such errors in the published list, enough that his office is investigating whether they were truly accidental. Look for a corrected and updated list, prepared under Mr. Gillman’s direct supervision, very soon.

While this explains my mistake, it does not forgive it. I want you to know that I have disposed of the offending books and my staff is now going through my entire library and burning any questionable texts that may have escaped prior purges. I sincerely apologize for my error and promise that it will not happen again.

Yours,
Dotty

Dotty is the country’s most popular advice columnist. She has helped hundreds of people like you. To write your letter to Dotty, simply post it here. Dotty reads every letter, but due to the volume of mail she receives, she cannot respond to every one. Letters may be edited for style or length.

_________________
Abduction! is in the Stasis Hall, but read it anyway!
Got a problem? Write to Dear Dotty!
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PostPosted: Wed Mar 12, 2008 1:09 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Dear Dotty,

I was born a Cripple with a twisted arm. My parents, Leader-fearing law-abiding citizens, sent me away when I was three, knowing that my deformity was a sign that God does not love me.

Here at the Cripple-Home we are taught that we are worthless, stupid and if it were not for our merciful Leader we would have been killed at birth, as was done in the past. Recently, however, I have begun to doubt this. I know that I am smarter than most of the staff here, and I know that I could do so much for Our Leader, despite being a cripple.

I learned the art of writing in secret just so I could send you this letter. Dotty, I only want to become a productive member of our society and I feel sure that I am capable of this. Please help me.

Crippled in Croyden


Dear Crippled,

In my line of work, I read so many heart-breaking stories from sad and desperate people that I constantly fear that I will grow hardened and incapable of emotional response. Your letter, though, moved me to tears and I could not help but answer. I know that all right-thinking citizens will be as shocked as I was to hear of your appalling experiences.

First, let me be very clear and assure you that you are not worthless, and God does love you as He loves all of Our Leader’s children. I cannot believe anyone has told you otherwise, and you can be sure that I will be forwarding your heart-wrenching and eloquent letter to the authorities in Croyden to investigate. You and your kind are a gift that has been given to our great society, a gift that proves God’s dedication to our noble battle against the heathen. I feel shame that you have not been properly educated about your essential role.

I know it is difficult to understand, but it is right and proper that you live in the Cripple-Home, apart from the rest of society. As it is written in the Good Book, “the Lord said, ‘no man with a crippled foot or hand…may come near.’” (Leviticus 21:17-19) Some misguided people have taken this passage to mean that society must be protected from the cripples, but Our Leader teaches us that the truth is quite the opposite. You are far too precious to be exposed to the diseases that run rampant in our society. Your body (the parts of you that aren’t crippled, anyway) must remain a paragon of health. When the time comes and you are taken to the battlefields, the noble surgeons of Our Leader’s Throng must not hesitate to put every normal part of you into the body of a soldier who desperately needs it.

God loves you, Crippled, and Our Leader needs you. Your deformity is a sign only that you were not meant to serve as a single, complete person. Through your many many healthy parts, however, you will be a more productive member of society than most. I hope this helps set your mind at ease. I sincerely thank you for your brave and touching letter.

Dotty

Dotty is the country’s most popular advice columnist. She has helped hundreds of people like you. To write your letter to Dotty, simply post it here. Dotty reads every letter, but due to the volume of mail she receives, she cannot respond to every one. Letters may be edited for style or length.

_________________
Abduction! is in the Stasis Hall, but read it anyway!
Got a problem? Write to Dear Dotty!
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