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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Topics: 340 Posts: 8881 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends
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Posted: Mon Mar 03, 2008 6:05 pm Post subject: Avarice chapter 18 - Hollow. |
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deleted _________________ Neil Hartley Books.
My Amazon page.
Last edited by Chinaren on Sat May 31, 2008 5:04 pm; edited 2 times in total
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Cyberworm Respected Citizen
Joined: 19 Aug 2007 Topics: 5 Posts: 652 Location: Spatially found, temporal lockdown. Items Legends
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Posted: Tue Mar 04, 2008 2:00 am Post subject: |
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First post!
The grammar is very good, I haven't noted anything too big, and he spelling is also good. You've managed to say so much in so few words. Kudos.
Maybe there is a hidden tunnel he used when he was hunter himself? Every good leader has an escape route, and if I recall correctly, Smur was the Big Guy in his tribe. _________________ Slit and Slide
One man's journey through the possibilities of solving what he says is a murder. What was it? Try not to forget.
Beyond Good and Evil
Could it be that being good is not good at all?
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Mephistopheles Respected Citizen
Joined: 24 May 2007 Topics: 16 Posts: 612 Location: Not where I want to be. Items Legends
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Posted: Tue Mar 04, 2008 4:03 am Post subject: |
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another good chappy china. Summoned an evil beast huh? doesn't the summoner usually have some control of such? if so, why not use it as a hunting dog, sending it out to destroy those that disturb smur's mind? And then, of course, unsummon it so he can get away with those he wants.
Otherwise, the only thing i can think of is to create a distraction and burst in, killing all who stand in his way. _________________ Cause I am, whatever you say I am
If I wasn't, then why would I say I am?
I don't know, it's just the way I am.
eminem
without the threat of death,
there is no reason to live at all
marilyn manson
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Crunchyfrog Honorable IFian
Joined: 12 Dec 2006 Topics: 168 Posts: 3998
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Posted: Tue Mar 04, 2008 10:32 am Post subject: |
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I don't think Smur has much control over the Hollow - he barely knew how to summon it. He didn't even know what he was summoning - powers of necromancy obviously need special training. If I were Smur, I wouldn't go trying that again!
It doesn't mention which direction the distant shriek came from, but my guess is it was not from where he thinks Alice is. If he can hear people talking they must be close up.
I'd say climb one of the stone trees, and throw a small rock or something in the direction of the talking and see what happens. If there is another guard he'll come running. The fog is thick, so if Smur is up high enough, he won't be seen from the ground.
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The Meaning Of Fear Respected Citizen
Joined: 06 May 2006 Topics: 13 Posts: 980 Location: In a deep, dark corner of the universe, plotting. Items Legends
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Posted: Tue Mar 04, 2008 8:30 pm Post subject: |
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Nice one, Monkey (Ex)Mayor Man! A bit short though.
I F5 Crunchy. _________________ Cherish all your memories, even the bad ones, for they are what makes you who you are.
Doors to the truth, an SG where a boy is propelled into worlds he is unfamiliar with. He crosses many worlds, and sees many things that force him to throw away his innocence, once, and for all. Fourth Chapter, out for viewing!
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CunningFox Citizen
Joined: 27 Oct 2005 Topics: 0 Posts: 210
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Posted: Wed Mar 05, 2008 5:45 am Post subject: |
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It was shorter than your usual ones China. Still good though.
I lost this from my favourites, so missed the new chapters. Can we stop the favourites from dropping off somehow?
Well, Im caught up now.
I think calling the Hollow is too dangerous. Would he know some kind of code? Something the tribe might know so he could pretend to call for help? It's not a very good idea I know, but I can't think of anything. I'll come back to you on this one.
Oh wait! THought of something. Maybe he can use hisnew powers on the guards? or perhaps contact Alice by telepathy??? _________________ Just browsing, thank-you.
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Topics: 340 Posts: 8881 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends
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algu95 Citizen
Joined: 04 Mar 2007 Topics: 0 Posts: 265 Location: Trudging around in Allwhere Items Legends
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Posted: Sun Mar 09, 2008 10:04 am Post subject: |
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No, no new suggestions, currently...
Great chappy though, but short. Me wantz more! ... _________________ Yes, no, what, hello?
Falcon Lord, a linear story by algu!
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Topics: 340 Posts: 8881 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends
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Posted: Sun Mar 09, 2008 4:56 pm Post subject: |
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So be it. Poll is now up. Deficate into the pot of voting.
I've decided to try and concentrate on Avarice (and Tired) a bit more and attempt to get them done. I've about 10 other stories waiting in the wings and jostling for attention, so hopefully this one will speed up a little.
Don't forget to add it to your favorites if you like it! _________________ Neil Hartley Books.
My Amazon page.
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DELETED Guest
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Posted: Wed Mar 12, 2008 4:09 am Post subject: |
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Topics: 340 Posts: 8881 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Topics: 340 Posts: 8881 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends
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Posted: Sat Mar 29, 2008 5:27 pm Post subject: |
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Mmm. A three way tie.
~thinks~
Okay, maybe I can actually merger these to some degree.
Poll is closed then, I'm going to start this one today. At long last. _________________ Neil Hartley Books.
My Amazon page.
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Topics: 340 Posts: 8881 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends
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Posted: Mon Apr 07, 2008 3:47 am Post subject: |
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New chapter will be up soon (unless omething interrupts me) so locking this one down.
Thanks for playing!! _________________ Neil Hartley Books.
My Amazon page.
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It's foggy, we're in a petrified forest, there's some unholy spirit nearby, and we're wearing sunglasses. |
Try and send the Hollow in. (rather risky!!) |
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0% |
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Create a distraction and then go postal on their asses. |
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33% |
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Up a tree, distraction, ambush. |
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33% |
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Try using his new powers somehow. |
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33% |
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Total Votes : 6 |
Who Voted: algu95, Chinaren, Crowkiller, Crunchyfrog, Cyberworm |
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You cannot post new topics in this forum You cannot reply to topics in this forum You cannot edit your posts in this forum You cannot delete your posts in this forum You cannot vote in polls in this forum
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