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The Dark
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 Posted: Sat May 03, 2008 12:52 am Post subject: The Dark chapter 15 - The Fall. |
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This is a tale both gross, foul and more,
With violence and blood galore.
It includes sexual scenes too, oh so bad,
Some swearing too, just a tad,
So if you are weak at the knees,
Or a minor, then please,
Return to a nicer place,
Before you are corrupted by what your eye sees.
This has been a badly composed poetic Dark warning. Thank you for your attention.
Chapter 16. The Fall.
_________________
Last edited by The Dark on Wed Jun 04, 2008 6:08 am; edited 1 time in total
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The Dark
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| Posted: Sat May 03, 2008 12:54 am Post subject: |
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And so The Dark comes to a quivering close. There shall be a short epilogue soon, and then the tale will be done.
Thank you for reading.
Comments, of course, welcome.
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Smee
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| Posted: Sat May 03, 2008 2:04 am Post subject: |
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Great finale Darky. I enjoyed it alot.
The poem... don't give up the night job. 
 Congratulations for finishing a SG, and a very good one at that. A worthy achievement for anyone.
Happy Writing 
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The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the Devil's own Satanic Herd!
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The Meaning Of Fear
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| Posted: Sat May 03, 2008 3:13 pm Post subject: |
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Very nice, although I did expect a bit more.
You'll be doing a sequel, right? After all, if you weren't, there'd be no point in leaving The Dark alive...
| Quote: | | came the infuriation voice as the clip ran dry |
infuriating?
_________________
Cherish all your memories, even the bad ones, for they are what makes you who you are.
Doors to the truth, an SG where a boy is propelled into worlds he is unfamiliar with. He crosses many worlds, and sees many things that force him to throw away his innocence, once, and for all. Fourth Chapter, out for viewing!
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Sat May 03, 2008 4:21 pm Post subject: |
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The Dark did say there would be an epilogue Meany.
Well done there Dark old fellow. 
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My Amazon page.
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NeverNeverGirl
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| Posted: Sat May 03, 2008 8:22 pm Post subject: |
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no
no
no
noo
mooo
oops i mean
noooooooo
okay - heres the thing. The details of the story - i dont have ENOUGH!
How did he get in the book? Was he a human once? How did Ice fall in love with him!
How did .. did.. did... everything... come on! I demand a Prequel, Sequel and lots more other than an Epilogue! 
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~  ~
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The Dark
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| Posted: Sun May 04, 2008 5:50 am Post subject: |
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Some of those answers may come out in the epilogue, Ms. Never. Others, well, some things will ever remain a mystery.
The Dark is planning another Gloom adventure. Watch this space. The Dark still has more filth within him, ready to spurt forth and stain the carpet.
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D-Lotus
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| Posted: Sun May 04, 2008 10:46 am Post subject: |
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Great ending overall. This is one of my all-time favorite storygames.
Maybe the concept of the devil dampened the intense ending a bit for me, because I thought it was going too far. If the devil exists, then so do God and the angels, and though I don't have a problem with that, most authors tend to utilize pre-concieved notions of heaven and hell in their stories. Dante's Inferno was a notable exception, but usually I dislike stories that delve into such a topic in a banal fashion. Especially if the author must resort to capitalization and bold words to express the might of pure evil.
On the other hand, I might be reading too seriously. Humor pervades your story, and I should not expect any less of this inferno scene. If you wrote this last section humoristically, then I apologize for my lack of intuition and retract my judgment.
By the way, what happened to Ice? Did Gloom's kick kill her?
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 Chapter 5: The Rendezvous 
Last edited by D-Lotus on Sun May 04, 2008 5:10 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Sun May 04, 2008 4:41 pm Post subject: |
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| Quote: | | Great ending overall. This is one of my all-time favorite storygames. |
Wow! High praise indeed there from D, Dark! I hope you know how rare that is! You must tell me your writing secrets, as D-Lotus always brutally tears my stories apart!
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D-Lotus
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| Posted: Sun May 04, 2008 5:24 pm Post subject: |
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I do it because I care, Cren; you know that. Also, it would help if your stories didn't come in those irresistible 'easy-tear' packages.
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Chapter 5: The Rendezvous
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| Posted: Mon May 05, 2008 1:44 am Post subject: |
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Mephistopheles
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| Posted: Tue May 06, 2008 2:10 am Post subject: |
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Very well done Dark. Perhaps a bit too Dante-ish...red rock instead of was it sand or water?...I don't recall right now, but still....very well writ. congrats on the completion of an excellently morbid and twisted tale!
I hope to see the sequel...and hope that it exceeds this works tasteful depravity.
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Cause I am, whatever you say I am
If I wasn't, then why would I say I am?
I don't know, it's just the way I am.
eminem
without the threat of death,
there is no reason to live at all
marilyn manson
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