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Kalanna Rai
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 Posted: Tue Dec 28, 2010 7:41 pm Post subject: |
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The new year is coming and, if the voters turn out, then we'll be able to start it right with a brand new chapter.
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| Posted: Tue Jan 11, 2011 6:36 pm Post subject: I Think...... |
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Well damn, I triple tied it! Gomen(sorry)!
Thi s really is deep, and makes me sad. I love the old theme of the story. The down side to making deals with death. Very Hitchcock of you. I can't imagine how aole he feels right now....My grandmother just died, so I'm really tuning into the family vibe.
I really think he's all for his family. Tossing aside any deep meaning behind the action, tieing a few on prolly just loosend an already set mind.
I can't wait to see more!
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| Posted: Wed Jan 12, 2011 12:18 am Post subject: |
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Three way tie huh...let's see what I can do. *puts on thinking cap*
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| Posted: Thu Jan 13, 2011 10:18 pm Post subject: |
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Okay, so here's the chapter. Peruse, enjoy!
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Chapter Six: Knockin' on Heaven's Door
Shane stood there in the rain for a long moment, fists cocked, summer blue eyes glaring bolts of hate at the mulatto. Theo remained, arms folded across his chest, pale brown gaze serene. "Well Shane? Why did you do it? And don't give me the family bullshi-"
"Because I was drunk!" Shane's shout caught Theo unaware and he watched the Irishman run his hands through his hair, clutching at the strands hard enough to tear a few loose. Tormented summer blue eyes lanced into the soul of the older immortal as the younger just sad down in the mud, arms on knees, hands dangling free as the rain continued to pelt down on them.
For a long moment there was only silence between them, then finally Shane spoke in a low, harsh voice. "I had a wee fight wit mah daughter. She wanted to marry a no good bastard of a man, face of an angel ta hide the devil in his soul. Dinna matter what I said, she was so sure of herself. So ta get me out of the house before I did something rash, I was sent ta the store for milk."
Theo had already known part of this, but the fight was a bit of new light on old information. Putting his back against a nearby tree, he got comfortable as he watched his companion, listening as his voice slowly slid back toward normal as the accent he'd picked up in his anger faded away.
"I was just so angry, this wasn't the first time one of my children had done something stupid, but I just knew how bad this was going to be. I knew that if Meghan were to marry that no good Cartwright boy he'd hurt her. He'd destroy my beautiful girl. And he'd make sure to do it where I couldn't come and help her, because he wasn't entirely stupid. He knew damn well that if he hurt her when I was around, I'd kill the bastard. I should have anyway." Shoulders rose and fell in a helpless shrug. "But Meghan made it plain that I was just wrong and that she wasn't going to be 'bullied' by her father into giving up on the man she loved. By the time I walked out of that house she never wanted to see me again, didn't care if I never came home. I think that's why she was the most concerned with what had happened to me Theo, because of those words and thoughts."
The more Theo thought about that the more sense it made. The worst thing one could wish on a soldier was that they never came home and, considering that Shane had spent plenty of time in his life in situations where it was likely he'd die...Meghan must have more than a touch of her old man's temper. "So you went out for milk...and..."
"I never made it to the store. I saw an old friend, buddy of mine from back in Paris, and we stopped to talk. He offered to buy me a drink and I didn't turn him down. One drink turned into two, two turned into ten, the next thing I knew I was drunk and wandering home without the milk. I knew that 'Beth wasn't going to be to happy to her but I figured that I could explain and I'd promise to go get milk in the morning. Let me tell you Theo, I was really in a bad place right then. I was feeling my age, probably feeling more than my age, and the ghosts of old faces and old places were haunting me. I was so wrapped up in myself that I don't really know when I noticed you know who beside me."
You know who. Indeed Theo did and he shivered despite the fact he wasn't in the least cold. Death, with a capital D. The being responsible for ending all life, recycling the energy so that it could be used anew. Even all these years later, Theo could recall down to the smallest detail what the entity looked like. It was neither male nor female but took features from both. Tall, slender, skin tone pale but not in an unhealthy way, just in the manner of skin that has never seen the sun. Meticulously dressed in a spotlessly tailored dark blue suit, shoes shined to a high gloss. And yet, around it, there was this incredible sense of stillness, of tranquility. Of the ocean depths where no light reached.
"It spoke, in that voice, murmuring to me quietly as it took my elbow and guided me away from the busy streets. There was genuine concern in that voice Theo, it wanted me to sit down and rest a while. Sober up before I tried to head home. And it was making sense, it's requests were reasonable. I figured it was just some good Samaritan and that I was drunker than I'd thought. So I let it lead me into a building a little off the road, a health club or a gymnasium of such. I just remember all the clean tiles, the comfortable chairs, and the big pool. It sat me down and took my hat, talked about the weather and the economy...small talk. I remember apologizing to it, I was so ashamed it had seen me like this and what would 'Beth think about the impressions I was leaving on strangers. I don't remember how the conversation turned from there, I know I mentioned that I was enlisted, and that's when it asked me if I was afraid of dying."
Shane glanced up then, a satirical smile on his face, strawberry-blond hair plastered to his face by the rain. He spread his empty hands wide before letting them flop back to their original position. "Of course I was. I was an aging mad with a wife and four children to provide for, one of which was still a young kid at the time. My health was fading, there were all sorts of fears about the Commies and I knew that I'd likely be out of a job soon. How was I going to provide then? And what had I made of myself? Why had I survived when so many of the guys I'd known hadn't? So I told it the truth, told it everything, all those fears. And it made me an offer that I didn't understand at first, then didn't believe, then couldn't refuse. I stood up, shook hands with it, feeling just amazed that such an opportunity had come my way. Then it pushed me backwards into that pool and I don't remember a thing until-"
"Until I fished you out of that nasty little hole this spring." Theo wasn't even sure how he'd known he needed to be there, near the ruins of the old building, he just had been. In time to hear the noises and throw down the rope to the new immortal. A man who'd been given back his youth and shoved outside the world for more than sixty years in exchange. "Well, now I know how...but why Shane? What is the meaning of it all for you?"
"It was my family Theo, always, but in that mental state even though I knew perfectly well what I was agreeing to and the consequences it might have...the thought that I'd have to sit and watch my family die was not one that even registered. The thought I'd have to explain why I wasn't getting older didn't. And I certainly didn't expect to be a young man again. But it wasn't just them Theo. It was the thousands who died where I didn't, the hundreds of guys I knew, who's faces are burned into my brain. Like Jake Lerns who died when his foot rotted off in the goddamn trench or Micky Dempsy, who was just a kid, when he caught a Kraut shell in the stomach and splattered his body in so many pieces across that damned beach. Ken Longmont who laid down on a grenade so save the rest of our lousy lives. What about Ike Greely who lost his hands throwing a mustard gas canister back across no man's land just to die from gangrene? Those men...boys...they're all damned heroes. I'm probably the only one that remembers them as more than just a name, number, and date, more than just a headstone. I owe it to all of them I suppose, to keep moving as long as I can."
"So sitting out here in the middle of a rainstorm and contemplating killing yourself is somehow doing their memories honor? Take some advice Shane, chalk your family up as casualties of whatever war your fighting...but keep fighting. The losses have hit home this time, is it really time to fold up? You've only just gotten back in the battle."
Shane laughed, rolling his eyes at the mulatto's earnest words. "Don't even try and make war references Theo. You're a scholar, not a soldier, and you've told me so yourself many times." Slowly the Irishman heaved himself up off of the ground, slicking back his hair from his face, summer blue eyes staring at the other. "But, in a way, you are right. I needed to remember what I was doing here in the first place. Now I know what I have to do."
Theo watched for a moment as Shane walked past him before pushing off the tree to follow. He stood by as the Irishman collected his bike and began to walk along the road in the ever lightening rain. He jogged along for a moment, catching up to the other and glancing at him. "Wait Shane, what do you have to do?"
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So, what does Shane have to do? What is this new motivator in his life?
--------------------------
Hope you liked.
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"It's not just about living forever...the trick is living with yourself forever..."
"Music makes you braver."
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| Posted: Fri Jan 14, 2011 3:23 am Post subject: I Think...... |
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Well now, nice chappy, and fast, way to go!
Lessee.....Well, he's a man of action, and now that he can't die, I'd say start his own little protection of the country. Maybe become a one man spy operation, or a regular cop'd be nice too! He seems to really love his home, and family...By the way, I can't remember if any of his kids had grand kids. He could do the vampire thing and make it his imortal dutie to ensure all his mortal family members live t a ripe old age!
I saw several missplaced words, I don't have the brain power to pick them out right now, but I'd re-read it and find that extra 'Dont' and the and insted of an.
I really like this, keep'em commin' !
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| Posted: Sat Jan 15, 2011 11:07 am Post subject: |
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I, too, am enjoying this. Real nice thorough characterization taking place here.
'With great power comes great responsibility'. Obviously we've reached the point where he recognizes this but we don't have a direct enemy. Therefore, both of the suggestions given by Pope sound along the lines of what I was thinking, unless we interject another historic memory or reference to give him some additional focus... something from the war perhaps... a loose thread to wrap up... an unresolved issue to take care of.
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 CHAPTER 25: Near-Light Speed (NEW CHAPTER! (12/4/2011))
Zephyrrr! And...  
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Kalanna Rai
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| Posted: Sat Jan 15, 2011 4:56 pm Post subject: |
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I'm glad that folks like it. This one has been a little more challenging to me than my usual stories, especially writing Meghan's points of view and reactions. Stepping into the shoes of people many decades older than myself doesn't come naturally and I'm constantly trying to separate if that's how I would react from the actual reactions of the characters.
Also thanks for the input guys, the choices I've been getting have been great with flow and continuity even though some of the decision points have been less than stellar.
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Kalanna Rai
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| Posted: Wed Mar 02, 2011 10:50 pm Post subject: |
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Good news everyone...there's a poll.
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| Posted: Mon May 30, 2011 5:28 am Post subject: |
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I also enjoyed reading the chapter and I like TBird's idea of another loose thread to wrap up.
*voted*
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| Posted: Mon May 30, 2011 2:14 pm Post subject: |
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Oh, it would be very nice to see this one pick back up! Loving your writings these days Kalanna, when you do get around to it. And I've been surprised this hasn't gotten the attention it deserves either. So thanks on that Ingro for adding your readership to this deserving tale.
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CHAPTER 25: Near-Light Speed (NEW CHAPTER! (12/4/2011))
Zephyrrr! And...
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| Posted: Wed Jun 08, 2011 8:05 pm Post subject: |
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| Well I've finally read through the whole story and must say that I have really enjoyed it. Looking forward to the next chapter, if there is one. Somewhat divided on which way to vote, maybe I should just close my eyes and point as all the choices are good ones.
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Kalanna Rai
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| Posted: Fri Jul 29, 2011 12:29 am Post subject: |
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*blinks sleepily from under pile of papers, slowly reaches for quill*
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| Posted: Fri Jul 29, 2011 8:25 am Post subject: |
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I feel like a puppy wagging his tail! Muaddib AND Kalanna return both in one week? Too good to be true!
Much anticipating further writings on this thread Kalanna!
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CHAPTER 25: Near-Light Speed (NEW CHAPTER! (12/4/2011))
Zephyrrr! And...
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| Posted: Tue Aug 02, 2011 1:25 am Post subject: |
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And the much awaited seventh chapter. Enjoy!
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Chapter Seven: Float On
She was daydreaming again, her hands buried in the warm and sudsy water, automatically cleaning the dishes that were left over from lunch. Outside, bees droned on a lazy summer breeze that stirred the curtains and brought the scents of fresh cut grass and the roses under her window swirling under her nose. Somewhere down the street a neighbor had turned up their stereo and some catchy but forgettable tune was playing. Her foot tapped in time to the beat, hips swaying with the motion. Thus, when someone knocked on her door, it startled her with the force of an electric shock. Her hands jerked, sending suds and water flying, and she had to fumble to catch the dish before it shattered on the side of the sink.
It hadn't been a heavy impatient pounding, merely a tap instead, and yet it was so out of place. "Just a moment! I'm coming!" Hands were quickly wiped on the hips of her jeans before she pulled off her apron. Leaving the apron draped over the straight back of one of the nearby kitchen chairs, she headed for the front door. A quick peek through the peep hole revealed someone she didn't recognize. A young man with strawberry blond hair and eyes the color of the sky. He seemed rather content to cool his heels, his foot tapping along to the beat of that same song.
Stepping back, she opened the door with a smooth motion and smiled politely. "Hello there, what can I be doing for you?"
He seemed almost as startled by her words as she had been by his knock, surprising considering he'd been expecting a reply and she hadn't been expecting the knock. Giving a good chuckle at what could only be his own expense, he pointed to a handwritten cardboard sign she'd left in one of the porch windows.
"I'm here about the room. It is still available isn't it? If not then I'm rather sorry to bother you Miss and if you can just point me in the direction of the nearest place with a public phone I'd be ever so grateful, the battery in my cellphone has gone and died on me. Rather inconsiderate of it, but there you have it."
He had such a charmingly disarming smile and a refreshingly real air about him. He wasn't one of those 'homeboys' and he wasn't trying to act tough. He wasn't being mysterious, he was even holding out the cellphone for her to examine herself. That was a big change from boarders who just wanted to know the rate, the rules, and if meals were included.
"The room is still open, please come on in Mr..."
"O'Donnely, Shane O'Donnely miss."
She smiled a little more, stepping aside to usher him in. "Well, that explains the tint of accent in your voice. Or am I imagining things? My name is Sarah Whittaker, you can call me Sarah but please try not to be overly familiar."
He chuckled lightly, shifting the duffel bag on his shoulder and stepping inside, maneuvering deftly as only a man used to carrying luggage could. "No no, you're quite right. I'm only a generation removed from Ireland, I was actually born on a boat on the way over from it. Mother ignored all advice and well...I decided to come early. And I'll do my absolute best to keep things friendly formal Miss Sarah...is that alright?"
She smiled, shutting the door behind him, wiping her damp hands on her jeans again. "Yes, very much so thank you. If you'll just follow me into the kitchen, I was just doing the dishes. We can talk about the rate and the house rules there if you don't mind." Even if he did, her Grandmother had taught her to be polite but if she left those dishes much longer all sorts of things were going to be crawling into that warm water and calling it home. "So Mr. O'Donnely...what brings you to these parts?"
He settled himself in one of the chairs, handing her her apron with a small shrug of his shoulders. "Well Miss Sarah, I'm a bit of a historian concerning the two World Wars, thinking about writing a book. I came across a rather interesting story about a month back and have been chasing down leads on it. One of those leads led me to you. You are the Great-Granddaughter of one Ezekiel Whittaker are you not?"
She paused in her washing, turning a little bit and glancing back at him, a puzzled look on her pleasant features. "I would think that almost every story my Great-Grandfather ever told has already been printed up. He wasn't shy with them and he just had a way of telling them that made everyone listen." And listen they had, those stories had been suitably embellished, cleaned up, and published. Several had sold more than a million copies, all were still in print. Ezekiel Whittaker had been and still was a popular war-fiction writer.
"No ma'am. This story is one I never read in any of his books nor did I ever hear it told in any interview he gave. See, I first ran across it in some notes from an old soldier I picked up at an estate sale...and it went from there. I really got intrigued though for the simple fact that it involves a man with the same name as mine. Apparently, your Great-Grandfather packed one Sean O'Donnely across a mine-laden field, then carried him down a road for two days until they emerged from behind enemy lines."
Sarah had stopped washing now and was staring at the earnest looking young man in some confusion. "You've got to have him mixed up with someone else. My Great-Grandfather told some good stories and was in a few dangerous places...but really he embellished everything. I've done a little research and he was never in as much danger as his books made it seem to be."
Sean held up a hand, still smiling at her. "Bare with me here. I realize that it's an incredible tale, but everything I've found validates it. They were part of an airborne assault, regular guys who'd been handed a parachute, given a few instructions, and told they had to do it for their country. So they jumped. O'Donnely was an older fellow, he didn't land nearly as well as your Great-Grandfather, so your Great-Grandfather offered to carry him back to safe territory. What they didn't know at the time was that they'd overshot their drop by a good bit. Instead of being a few hours from Allied territory...they were two days."
Sarah was leaning against the sink now, head cocked to the side in earnest interest. "So...you're saying that my Great-Grandfather saved this man's life. And then didn't tell anyone about it? The best story he could ever have written and he just...kept his mouth shut? Why?"
Sean shrugged. "That I have no idea about. All I know is that apparently they lost track after that except for a letter O'Donnely sent your Great-Grandfather. Something about if his family ever needed help all he needed to do was ask. O'Donnely went missing after the war though, shortly before the war with Korea broke out. Left behind a wife and four children...his case is still a missing persons. Which means that your Great-Grandfather never did get to collect on that help. I just found the story so damned...intriguing that I came out here to ask you, Miss Sarah, was for permission to use that story. Also, I needed an ending for it, some sort of closure...so could you in your own words tell me what you think your Great-Grandfather might have asked for? If you can, that's alright...hey wait. If you can't maybe you could think of the best way to help yourself? You know, a descendants sort of thing."
She was flabbergasted, her mind turning a lazy and confused circle as she tried to puzzle through his words. "You want me to try and think of what my Great-Grandfather would have asked this guy with your name for? You're a little touched Shane, pardon me for saying it."
Again he gave that disarming smile, his summer blue eyes shining. "Aww, c'mon Miss Sarah. It would be the neatest end to that story. A sort of final resolution. Shane has living descendants...after I'm done with my stay here I was thinking of going to see them and talking to them as well. But without an ending to the story...what's the point?" He shook his head, almost giving her a puppy stare as he gazed back at her. "So what do you say...will you give it a shot. If someone owed you their life and was willing to do anything to show their gratitude...what would you ask of them?"
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An odd dp I know, but a good starting point for Shane's continued adventures. Put yourself in Sarah's shoes...if someone owed you their life and was willing to do anything to express their gratitude...what would you ask of them?
-------------------------------
Hope you liked!
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"Music makes you braver."
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| Posted: Wed Aug 03, 2011 2:46 pm Post subject: |
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Wow a new chapter!
This was very exciting to see. As far as the DP goes this is another tough one. I don't think that she is going to seriously believe him and so she is probably going to try to come up with something to satisfy him.
However I am blanking on what she would suggest at this point :/
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| Posted: Fri Aug 12, 2011 12:42 am Post subject: |
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Caught up with this one at last! And very enjoyable it was too. 
I'm much like Ingro, and very much at a loss at the moment as to what Sarah might want from a guy she's just met, who's told her an incredible, previously unheard story about her grandfather. And I figure...that's how she would feel too. How could she possibly decide just like that, about such a thing. I say for now she laughs it off. As Shane is going to be staying there anyway, she will get to know him a little better, and will also have a chance to think about it, during that time.
Great chappie Rai! Looking forward to the next one!
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.... there is no religion without love, and people may talk as much as they like about their religion, but if it does not teach them to be good and kind to man and beast, it is all a sham....
Black Beauty by Anna Sewell, 1887
 
 
  
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| Posted: Sat Aug 20, 2011 4:49 pm Post subject: |
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GREAT chapter as has been the norm here. A haunting and compelling story as a whole, Rai!
| Quote: | | if someone owed you their life and was willing to do anything to express their gratitude |
I would start with asking them to deliver their life story. Perhaps they can show me what my (or my ancestor's) actions were really worth in the big picture. What have they done to contribute to the world, to others? I'd want to get a full view of the 'ripple effect'.
Then I'd probably think of something along the way - something that would be fitting based on what I was hearing about the other person and what I know about my own life and its challenges.
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CHAPTER 25: Near-Light Speed (NEW CHAPTER! (12/4/2011))
Zephyrrr! And...
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| Posted: Sun Aug 21, 2011 3:03 pm Post subject: |
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| Thunderbird wrote: | | Quote: | | if someone owed you their life and was willing to do anything to express their gratitude |
I would start with asking them to deliver their life story. Perhaps they can show me what my (or my ancestor's) actions were really worth in the big picture. What have they done to contribute to the world, to others? I'd want to get a full view of the 'ripple effect'. |
I love this idea TB!
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Kalanna Rai
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| Posted: Mon Aug 29, 2011 7:00 pm Post subject: |
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No votes, no votes...sad day.
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Ingrothechundyer
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| Posted: Tue Aug 30, 2011 2:07 am Post subject: |
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Sorry I never notice that a story is poling until someone posts about it 
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Thunderbird
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| Posted: Thu Sep 01, 2011 7:48 pm Post subject: |
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This should be getting more attention than it is... I'm at a loss to explain except that it didn't start for most of the audience currently here but during a previous era I guess.
Anyhow, hopefully this lets folks know: READ THIS!!! It really does kick some serious ass!
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CHAPTER 25: Near-Light Speed (NEW CHAPTER! (12/4/2011))
Zephyrrr! And...
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Kalanna Rai
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| Posted: Fri Sep 09, 2011 9:36 pm Post subject: |
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Thank you for the kind words T-Bird. Here is a new chapter for those who are sneaking peeks at this. Enjoy.
------------------------------
Chapter Eight: Unbreakable
She couldn't help but smile at that earnest gaze that reminded her of nothing so much as a dog that sees the leash in your hand. He was just so full of energy, charged up by this whole idea. She'd seen that gaze in her Grandfather's eyes a time or two when he'd get particularly fired up by the story he was telling. She studied the young man again, tapping her lips thoughtfully before realizing they were covered in sudsy water. Patting her mouth with a dry dishcloth, she promptly turned her attention back to the dishes. "Well, that's rather hard to answer. What was this Shane like? I mean, what was his life worth? What did he do, who was he?"
The young man was quiet for a while, staring out the window at the boxes of flowers and the bees that hummed from bloom to bloom. "He was a good man, but not a gentleman. He was a devoted family man and perhaps a man on the verge of alcoholism. But measure the worth of his life...I'm not sure. What standard am I using to measure it?"
She drained the water in the sink, turning on the tap and quietly rinsing the others as she thought over his question. "What do we measure the worth of a man by. I suppose his accomplishments, what did he do for others? You said he was in the service, did he distinguish himself in any manner? Did he save lives, as my Grandfather saved his? Did he make some contribution to society beyond that of the average man, did his children? I'm not sure what to measure his life by. The value of a human life cannot be calculated by any means we possess. Each life is so singular and unique, it's the definition of priceless."
She turned the water off as she slipped the last of the now clean dishes into the wire dish rack next to the sink so that they could air dry in the warm summer heat. "You said he was a good man, what defines good? What made him a 'good' man as opposed to just a 'man' or an 'evil' man?"
His voice was even quieter than before but when she looked into those summer blue eyes there was an intensity in the man, a vibrant force of will, that she'd never seen in anyone else. "Many people would tell you that good and evil are just labels of human society. That we hedge ourselves in with rules both printed an unspoken, a living boundary of what we will and will not accept. Stay within the rules and bounds and you're 'good' and if you stray outside them you're 'evil'. But that's not true. The most evil of men work within those boundaries and those limits to slowly warp them. Just look at the world today for an example of that."
He shook his head, sitting up straighter in his chair, that vivid gaze locked on hers. "You want to know what evil is? Evil is a sensation, it's a feeling. It makes you want to throw up, makes your skin want to crawl off of your body. An evil man makes you ashamed to be a human, makes you feel filthy for being the same species. Evil isn't just a word, it isn't just a label, even though it gets used that way. You want to know what Evil is, Evil is the destruction of potential.
Potential is the single greatest thing humanity possesses, to deny or destroy it is to damn our race as a whole. Our race had the Potential to go to the moon and because that potential existed, someone decided that we needed to explore it. To push the very boundaries of what we considered possible and plausible and reach for that unattainable goal. Each human being, no matter how strong or weak, brave or cowardly, smart or challenged, has some quantity of Potential. To destroy that, to block that, that's the definition of Evil."
His words were so emphatic, alive with his conviction...she'd never heard anyone talk about a subject like that. "So...if Evil is the destruction of Potential then Good is the encouragement of it?"
He nodded. "Good is the encouragement of potential. Like preparing a garden and tending the seeds, if one nurtures potential then one is often rewarded. A Good person doesn't have to do much, just lend a hand when it's asked for. And you want to know what makes a person Great? The realization of their true potential. You hear a lot about it, that I have the Potential to do this or that...but how many people have the will and the drive to do that? Not very many. And that's why we have a bunch of good people on this planet but very few great ones."
She smiled at him. "You're a very curious person Shane. Most guys you're age, they're not really out there pondering the questions of society, the universe, and what the Almighty had for breakfast. They're too busy wondering...other things."
"I realize this Miss Sarah and it shames me sometimes. I suppose that's why I've become a historian. Living in ages gone by when men could be brutal and yet they had a greater sense of what was proper than the young people today. Now, I think we've gotten off track...how much is the room to rent and what might the house rules be?"
She almost slapped her forehead, she had completely gotten off track, derailed by his strange questions and energetic opinion. "The house rules are simple. If you make a mess, clean it up. The kitchen and dining rooms are communal, the living room is available to have guests visit in if you request. The downstairs bathroom and upstairs bathroom are also open to everyone, and of course the room itself is your personal space. However, I don't want any drugs, loud parties, or strange women...or men...finding their way into it. There are cheap motel rooms for that sort of thing.." Not that he struck her as that type but then again, her instincts about renters had been wrong before. "I'd appreciate it greatly if you'd keep the noise down after ten o'clock and if you are not in this house by eleven I will lock you out. Now, if you think you can abide by that the room is three hundred a month and I include meals...unless you want something fancy, then you'll have to buy it."
He reached into his duffel after a moment, fishing around, before pulling out three much wadded and crumpled hundred dollar bills. "As long as you can make a decent ham and cheese sandwich I don't think I'll be complaining too much. Also, I'm willing to help out around here if you'd like. Other than my research I don't happen to have anything to do here in town...so if you need gutters cleaned or a fence painted...I'm your man Miss Sarah."
Normally she'd be tempted to turn the offer down but she wasn't exactly what one would call handy. Until recently she'd relied on her no-good ex to take care of things like that. "I suppose I could accept a little bit of handy work in exchange for some of the rent. But don't go taking liberties or thinking that means you can skip payment. Times are hard for everyone and charity isn't something I can afford these days."
"Understood Miss Sarah, I was just trying to be helpful. I'm not very good at being idle." There was that disarmingly boyish grin as he stood, making her realize that he was still several inches taller than she was...and fairly muscular.
Sarah never used to be nervous around men but her no good ex had changed that attitude. Shane made her nervous, physically, but he was so earnest and openly honest...she didn't hesitate to call him a good person. But that didn't mean she was letting her guard down for even an instant.
"Alright then...I was going to go to the store. If there's anything special you'd like you're welcome to ride along with me and pick it up. Just this once though. After this I'll expect you to make trips to the store on your own." She moved past him to get her keys and her purse, sensing that he was quietly following her.
"I understand Miss Sarah."
"Well then, let's be on our way. I'll show you to your room when we get back. And maybe we'll have another talk about your book. You still have not told me what makes this man worth it, what he's done."
--------------------------------
Shane hadn't needed much from the store. He hadn't needed anything actually. He had, however, politely bought some more razors and another can of shaving cream as well as a couple bottles of cola. The sun had gone down while he'd followed Miss Sarah discreetly around the store. He wouldn't have normally but she'd asked him not to get lost and he'd offered to carry the groceries to the car. Little things like this were so simple and he really hadn't been trying to get cheaper rent. Just to help.
They paused next to her car and he stared up at the sky, watching as the stars slowly began to twinkle above them, his night vision muted by the glare of the parking lot lights. That was why he didn't see the man at first. The guy seemed to come out of nowhere, dressed all in black with a ski mask over his eyes. He clubbed Shane in the back of the head with his gun, sending Shane to his knees with his ears ringing and his eyes swimming. The groceries tumbled from his hands as a kick in the ribs sent him flying.
He could hear Sarah's scream abruptly cut off and he shook his head to clear his vision, listening to the attacker growl in a soft voice. He just wanted their wallets and the car and if nobody stopped him nobody would get hurt. Judging from the way the guy's gun hand was shaking he hadn't done this before. The other hand was firmly clamped over Sarah's mouth, keeping her quiet. The gun kept shaking...shaking...and Shane just knew if he didn't do something they were going to be in deep trouble.
He waited until the man was distracted by having to bend down with Sarah to get her purse, then he surged up off the pavement. His hands wrapped around the man's wrist, taking control of the weapon before charging the man. A shot rang out in the air, Sarah screaming as she bolted, and the man got a lucky punch in that sent Shane staggering back. Then the man trained the gun on Sarah, squeezing the trigger as he fired at her fleeing form.
Shane reacted on instinct, diving for Sarah, feeling one...two...three slugs impact against his skin. And they just bounced off. He lay there, covering Sarah with his body while the man took off running. The sound of sirens echoed in the distance and slowly, with a low groan, he moved to the side and rose to his knees. "Ach, damn tha' bloody little bastard...Miss Sarah are you alright?"
"Me? Me! You just got shot! You-"
She'd reached out for him, looking to put pressure on the wounds. Instead Shane watched the reactions crawl across her face before she fainted. Quickly, as the sirens grew louder and closer, Shane slung her purse over his back, hoping it hid the bullet holes in his jacket. Cradling her head in his lap, he waited for the officers and medics to arrive at the scene.
"Well, at least I paid Ezekiel back...but now what?"
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The police are coming, there will be questions. What is Shane going to do?
-------------------------------
Hope you liked.
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"Music makes you braver."
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Ingrothechundyer
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| Posted: Fri Oct 21, 2011 4:08 pm Post subject: |
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Wow I came back to renew this in my favorites and see I missed a chapter being posted.
Another excellent read that I greatly enjoyed. Another tough DP though.
I tend to think that he could pass it off as the bullets missed him if the only visible damage was to his jacket. She's in shock and isn't going to be sure of anything if the facts don't line up with her memory of what happened. The shooter just happened to miss and his jacket always had the holes (he saved it because it was a memento of some sort).
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| Posted: Thu Oct 27, 2011 6:44 pm Post subject: |
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I am sooooo sorry I missed this chapter for sooooooooo loooooooong! This is really one of my favorite stories on the site so I fear I've sent entirely the wrong message to let it sit without reply this long.
The debate about the nature of evil... that kinda stuff was RIGHT up my alley... loved it! Disagree with it but loved it all the same... lol! My mom and I actually debated on that point. I counter to say that realization of potential doesn't really mean much and can in fact be evil as well. A nuke that never goes off is not a bad thing. And I could say more but will leave it at a note of strong appreciation for the cognizant thought being projected there... was a breath of fresh air to see that I'm not alone in feeling that such intellectual considerations could be just as entertaining as soppy emotional moments and action packed sequences.
The DP is rough... especially in that you hedged us in on some of our possible options by the decisions he's already made since being shot. But I'm going to say it anyhow - I think its time to vanish, vamoose, move on to another scene entirely. He got what he came for and its time for her to now think he's passed on...
But if that doesn't jive with what has been said, and I don't think it does, than I don't think we have anything to do but what Ingro has mentioned already.
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CHAPTER 25: Near-Light Speed (NEW CHAPTER! (12/4/2011))
Zephyrrr! And...
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Kalanna Rai
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| Posted: Wed Feb 01, 2012 12:09 am Post subject: |
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I can't just let this one go. It keeps nagging at me. So it's time for a new chapter.
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"Music makes you braver."
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| What will he do next? |
| Time to vanish, his debt is repaid? |
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| Obviously he wasn't shot, the jacket is a memento and had them already? |
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