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Muaddib
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 Posted: Thu Nov 03, 2011 2:46 am Post subject: |
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Good addition to the story! A romance is afoot?
So what's the DP?
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Lost Omega
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| Posted: Thu Nov 03, 2011 2:11 pm Post subject: |
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This is only part 1 of the chapter so there's no DP. I'm still working on part 2.
_________________
Never meddle in the affairs of dragons as you are crunchy and go well with ketchup.
Check out my SG, Freedom's Call! Chapter 4 - Part 2 is up NOW! In Skiffiville!
What can you do if you live in a shoe but you ain't got no sole?
Have you seen my ninja? He's around here somewhere... Qk
I've got eggs!   
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Lupaviola7
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| Posted: Tue Nov 08, 2011 6:35 pm Post subject: |
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I really liked it! i wasn't expecting exctly that to happen but it was really good anyway  keep it up and please get part 2 done quickly pleaseee 
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Thunderbird
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| Posted: Sat Nov 19, 2011 1:01 pm Post subject: |
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Still loving this. Took me a bit to realize we had slipped into a backflash so you might want to make that a bit more apparent for the audience - which is interesting considering we had a chat about that somewhere here recently...
Anyhow, you continue to dazzle with great plotwork and intense scenework here. Well done! Looking forward to part 2!
_________________
      
 CHAPTER 25: Near-Light Speed (NEW CHAPTER! (12/4/2011))
Zephyrrr! And...  
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Lost Omega
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| Posted: Fri Dec 02, 2011 10:47 pm Post subject: |
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I apologize fellow IFians. I'm trying to work on part 2 but I've got finals comin up so it might take a while longer than expected. Bear with me.
_________________
Never meddle in the affairs of dragons as you are crunchy and go well with ketchup.
Check out my SG, Freedom's Call! Chapter 4 - Part 2 is up NOW! In Skiffiville!
What can you do if you live in a shoe but you ain't got no sole?
Have you seen my ninja? He's around here somewhere... Qk
I've got eggs!
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PopeAlessandrosXVIII
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| Posted: Thu Dec 15, 2011 3:27 am Post subject: Post |
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Ganbatte!(You can do it!) Good luck on finals!
_________________
To Be A Knight
And my first Finished work Death Day
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Lost Omega
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| Posted: Mon Jan 16, 2012 11:35 pm Post subject: Chapter 4 - Part 2 |
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WARNING - THE FOLLOWING STORY HAS SUGGESTIVE THEMES THAT MAY NOT BE SUITABLE FOR SOME AUDIENCES. READER DISCRETION IS ADVISED
Gabriel laid on the side of the road with tears streaming down his eyes. The pain in his face had nothing to do with it though. It was the pain of losing Sherry; losing her to some guy she’s known for all of two days. “I knew she would do this to me at some point. She always fell for the guys that save her.” Gabriel remembered when he first met Sherry. He saved her when he found her on the street, starving and alone. He originally planned to help her get some food and proper shelter then leave, but after spending some time with her, Gabriel felt something. Something he hadn’t felt since the shield went up. They stayed together for two years up until she left him, of course.
*****************************************************************************
Six months later, Gabriel still struggled to survive. He just did it on his own. He still hadn’t forgotten about how Sherry betrayed him but it hurt less now. He could recall that memory and remember the pain he felt but shed no tears because of it. I don’t need her. All she did was hold me back. At this point in time, however, Gabriel was in desperate need of an ally. He raided a Steel ammo house and now the entire gang was out for his blood.
Gabriel decided to lay low for a while. He had come across an abandoned apartment building and chose it to be his place to live for a while. He never liked to live anywhere for a long time. After a while, seeing the same people, the same places, the same dramas, it just got boring. The apartment was old. It was clearly falling apart long before the damn shield went up. The wallpaper was barely hanging on the walls and the carpets were stained with blood and other various fluids that Gabriel didn’t want to think too much about; some recent. It looked like it used to be a nice place. There was a kitchenette and a living room. There was a loveseat and a coffee table in the living room along with an armoire.
There was one bed left that had a pillow and sheets. Gabriel slept soundly in it despite that smells of dust and death that haunted his nostrils every night. He spent the next few weeks there living off of whatever food he could find and looking out of the windows of the apartment, scanning for Steels.
There were a few days when he saw small bands passing through. They probably knew he was here. I can’t stay here for much longer. They’re bound to find me at some point.
A few days later, Gabriel awoke to a door opening and closing down the hallway. Gabriel knew that no one had been sharing the floor with him. He made damn sure of it. Gabriel grabbed his gun and slowly stepped towards the peephole in the front door. He made sure to step softly. The walls were thin and you could almost everything that went on in the building.
Gabriel looked through the peephole and saw what he feared. Two members of The Steels were looking in the apartment across the hall from him. They left the door open and Gabriel could see that they were scanning the apartment. One man was looking through the kitchen. There was a paper bag on the table with a bottle of some alcohol in it. There wasn’t any dust on it so it must have been put there recently. That can’t be right. I thought I was the only one here. The other Steel was busy searching in the bedroom. He was opening drawers. They were all empty. He then moved to the bed. He pushed his hands on the mattress, probably looking for a hidden weapon. He then got on one knee and looked under the bed. Gabriel didn’t know what was under the bed, but whatever it was; it made the Steel grin maliciously.
The Steel shoved his hand under the bed and pulled out a young woman. She was kicking at the man and Gabriel could hear her screams. The Steel punched her in the face and she stopped resisting. Gabriel could see her chest go up and down with her panicked breathing. He grabbed the woman by her hair and dragged her out to the main room where the other man was searching. He threw her to the floor and smirked at the other man. He strolled over to her and grabbed her head, pulled it up, and whispered in her ear. The woman’s eyes widened and she began to cry. The man let her head go and started unbuckling his belt.
“No! God please no!” The frightened woman cried.
“Shut up!” The Steel shouted. “God ain’t here.”
Gabriel couldn’t watch any longer he quickly moved away from the door and hid in the corner of the room. He covered his ears, trying to ignore the woman’s screams and cries for help. Gabriel wanted to help her but those guys knew who he was and were here to kill him. The woman continued to scream and cry and Gabriel continued to cower. A tear escaped his eye. He couldn’t bear to listen to this woman’s agony as she begged God for help that wouldn’t come.
Gabriel sat there for what felt like a lifetime. The woman’s screams had died down but Gabriel could still hear her crying. Gabriel hated himself for not helping her, not giving her the help she desperately awaited. A shot rang out across the hallway. Gabriel knew. They just shot the woman. They used her, violated her, and then shot her. Gabriel heard footsteps outside of his door then a bang. His door shook a bit. The Steels were breaking in and the door wouldn’t hold long. Gabriel readied himself for the invasion. Another bang came from the door and it shook again. Dust flew from the door and floated in the air. The door banged one last time and this time it flew open. Gabriel fired blindly at the two men. One of the bullets struck one of the Steels in the chest and he fell to the ground. The other Steel grabbed Gabriel’s arm with one hand and his neck with the other. He twisted Gabriel’s arm behind his back and took his gun. Gabriel heard his gun clatter to the ground but he wasn’t sure where.
The Steel threw Gabriel to the ground then sat on top of him. He reeked of sweat and cigarettes. He wrapped his hands around Gabriel’s throat and squeezed. Gabriel’s throat burned as he gasped and choked for breath. He tried swinging at the mass sitting on top of him but the man’s arms blocked him. Gabriel’s vision started fading. Tears were rolling down his face and he was starting to drool. The man started to grin. Gabriel tried to strike the man one more time but was too weak. His face was deep red at this point. Gabriel was about to pass out when someone struck the Steel in his head. The man let go of Gabriel to face his attacker. Gabriel’s savior swung the butt of his gun upward, striking the man in the jaw. He stumbled backward and fell through the coffee table.
Gabriel laid there gasping for breath. His throat hurt with every breath. He tried to stand up but his rescuer held him down. “The name’s Keric. Just relax. Help is on the way.”
******************************************************************************
Gabriel awoke in a comfortable and clean bed, a rarity in Freedom’s Call. He tried to pull himself up but found that his arms were strapped to the bed. He looked around the room. It was surprisingly well cleaned. There was a window at the other end of the room and Gabriel a group of four or five people peering in at him. They were all wearing the same colors, white and yellow.
A man in a lab coat showed up and told the bystanders to leave. He then entered the room. “God bless, Gabriel. How are you feeling?” He said.
“Where am I?” Gabriel’s voice cracked.
“You are in a small clinic controlled by the Drifters. I am Dr. Carver. I apologize for the arm restraints. Keric insisted on them until we were sure you weren’t hostile.”
“Keric…” Gabriel’s mind flashed back to the apartment. His windpipe was getting crushed by a member of the Steels. He remembered gasping for air and not getting any. Then he remembered the Steel taking a blow to the head and falling through the coffee table. He remembered the man dressed in white who had saved him. “He saved my life.”
“Yep. That’s Keric. Anyway, I was sent in here to tell you that Father Sutherland wants to see you.”
“What for?”
“I’m not here to know what goes on in his office, but let me make this clear.” Dr. Carver leaned close into Gabriel’s face. “I don’t know you are or what your intentions are, but if you lay one hand on the Father, I will send you straight to hell.” Gabriel and Dr. Carver eyed each other for a few more seconds before Dr. Carver finally moved back. “Well. Let’s get these restraints off of you.”
*************************************************************************
I have returned fellow IFians! I sincerely apologize for my lack of activity recently. For a while, I wasn't really getting any ideas as to where to take the chapter but I had an explosion two days ago and now I present part two. I'm about to start work on part three and hopefully it will be the last part so we can get to the DP I'm sure that we are all anticipating.
I will admit that this does feel a little rushed to me so please be brutal in your criticisms so I can fix any flaws that arise. Happy Reading!
_________________
Never meddle in the affairs of dragons as you are crunchy and go well with ketchup.
Check out my SG, Freedom's Call! Chapter 4 - Part 2 is up NOW! In Skiffiville!
What can you do if you live in a shoe but you ain't got no sole?
Have you seen my ninja? He's around here somewhere... Qk
I've got eggs!
Last edited by Lost Omega on Thu Feb 02, 2012 10:10 am; edited 2 times in total
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Lupaviola7
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| Posted: Fri Jan 20, 2012 9:59 am Post subject: |
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In the paragraph starting with, "Gabriel looked though the peephole..." in the last few lines at some point you wrote Jackson instead of Gabriel. I just wanted to let you know.
Other than that, very well written. It did seem a little rushed but it wasn't anything drastic. Great descriptions too. Can't wait for part three!
_________________
Egg!
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Lost Omega
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| Posted: Thu Apr 05, 2012 1:34 pm Post subject: |
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I apologize my dear IFians for the long wait for the last part of this chapter. RL keeps getting in the way. I'm trying to get some done every now and then if I remember but sometimes I don't like what I've written and erase it. Rest assured that this has not been abandoned, just postponed.
I'll see you guys around the site. Later.
-LostOmega
_________________
Never meddle in the affairs of dragons as you are crunchy and go well with ketchup.
Check out my SG, Freedom's Call! Chapter 4 - Part 2 is up NOW! In Skiffiville!
What can you do if you live in a shoe but you ain't got no sole?
Have you seen my ninja? He's around here somewhere... Qk
I've got eggs!
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