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Geek_girl72
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 Posted: Sun Dec 17, 2006 7:25 am Post subject: |
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Justin is a sort os experiement for me as a writer. I'm not yet sure I can pull off his character, which is a little motre complex than anything I've tried yet. I'll just have to take the leap and see what happens 
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| Posted: Tue Dec 26, 2006 6:55 pm Post subject: |
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If I asked if this thread was dead, would I regret it?
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| Posted: Tue Dec 26, 2006 8:04 pm Post subject: |
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It's only been a week, and I'm almost finished with the next chapter, so yes.
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| Posted: Thu Dec 28, 2006 3:47 pm Post subject: |
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Chapter Three: An Error in Judgment
James looked into Justin’s face. Could this be a trick? Was he planning to simply use her as a decoy? She thought about the way she had stumbled across him by pure chance. There was no real reason to think she knew anything about his character or motives. Still, there was something about this man, and this day, that was working a change in her. Something inside her had woken up and was fighting to compensate for lost time. She lifted her chin slightly and looked Justin straight in the eye.
“Alright.”
Justin paused for a moment and looked hard at her. He glanced at the door bemoaning its agony and back at James. A wry grin crossed his face.
“Good. For a second there I thought you were going to flake out on me. They’re almost through so I’ve got to hide myself. It’ll get a bit close but don’t worry; I know what I’m doing.”
Justin flashed a final, perfect smile, and left James standing on the stair landing. The click of the door latching shook her Nerve more than the pounding below; and whatever feeling had taken hold of her a second before fled. She tried to move, but her feet seemed rooted to the spot.
“Come on James, you’re no coward. You can do this.”
James said out loud. She started to reflect on her weird habit of talking to herself when no one was around, and dropping into reflective states at inopportune moments, but a terrific crash snapped her out of it. The remnants of the door flung open and smashed against the wall, revealing the quiet-looking man and his gargantuan companion. James barely glanced at their faces before her feet unfroze and she bolted up the stairs for all she was worth. She could hear them pounding after her, especially the big man, whose footsteps echoed like thunder in the narrow stairwell. Suddenly, an odd buzzing noise sounded behind them, and what James could only describe as a blueish ball of electricity whizzed past her head and hit the wall in front of her. The whole building seemed to shudder, throwing James off balance and slamming her shoulder hard into the railing. Shaken, and astonished that her pursuers had stopped, she picked herself up and faced back down the stairway. The two men were standing with their backs to her and facing Justin, who was pointing an odd contraption at the both of them. It seemed to be some sort of weird gun unlike anything James had ever seen. Sparks were fluttering to the ground out of the barrel, and a low hum emanated from it. Justin stood on the landing with this weapon raised at his two enemies. The Big man let something like a growl escape his lips, and moved as if about to do something desperate. The shorter man put a restraining hand on his shoulder and spoke in a calm, quiet voice.
“Stand back Fenris, keep your head. It would be best to put that thing down Grey, you might hurt someone.”
Justin glowered at the man and took a step forward.
“Spare me the bravado Seth Martel, and keep a leash on your pet there or I won’t be responsible for my actions. Now stand aside and let the lady pass.”
Justin spoke his adversary’s name like an insult. Seth seemed unfazed by it though and complied, motioning for Fenris to do likewise. Passing by those two was perhaps the worst part of that day for James. Fenris did growl at her as she passed, she was certain of it. When she passed by Seth, he shook his head slightly. Upon reaching Justin, he took hold of her arm and pulled her behind him protectively.
“Don’t worry, the worst is over now.”
Seth scoffed.
“She was a willing part of this? Don’t tell me you’ve found a friend already?”
“I have a way with people.”
Seth let his shoulders slump at Justin’s words and looked at James while he continued speaking.
“I don’t suppose you’ll be reasonable about this? If we could come to some sort of arrangement…”
“No deals Martel. I’m finishing what I started.”
Justin took another step and cocked his gun. James watched in alarm and rushed forward.
“Justin, what are you doing?”
“Something I should have a long time ago.”
“But you can turn them over to the police now, you can’t call it self defense if you kill them.”
Justin looked at her and sighed.
“I don’t expect you to understand James, but I know what I’m do-”
He never got to finish reassuring his newfound companion. In the split second he wasn’t watching the captives, Seth leaped of the stairs and dove at Justin, bringing him to the ground with a crash and knocking the gun out of his hand. James was too startled to see where the gun landed, but knew the only hope of getting herself and her friend out of this was to get back into the hospital and sound the alarm. Surprised at her own lack of fear in the present situation, she turned and made a mad dash down the stairwell, only half hearing Seth call out:
“Fenris! After Her!”
That was all the giant needed to hear. He leaped over the side of the railing, landing dramatically feet first between James and the door. Before she could skid to a halt, her momentum carried her sailing into the brute. The collision made her feet slip out from under her and she fell down hard into a sitting position at the man’s feet. Still trying desperately to back away, she glanced upwards into Fenris’ face and froze. The face looking back at her wasn’t that of a man, or even a human being. Large black pupils filled with a red gleam rested in a face covered in thick fur-like hair. An elongated, canine nose overshadowed a mouth baring its enormous and gleaming teeth in a snarl. The monster took a step towards James and spoke in a low, gravely voice as inhuman as his face.
“I wouldn’t scream if I were you”
James would have complied even if her voice hadn’t temporarily left her. A low buzzing noise sounded behind them and Fenris looked sharply back up the stairs. His wolfish mouth parted in surprise, but he wasn’t quick enough to react before a second one sounded and a blue shockwave swept over his whole person. He gave a strangled cry, and tumbled to the ground, convulsing horribly. James didn’t move or take her eyes off of the spectacle for a long time. When she finally regained her motor skills, she turned her head slowly and saw Justin standing behind her, weapon in hand and Seth likewise twitching at his feet. Justin thrust the gun into his pocket and breathed deeply. James very slowly picked herself up off the floor, leaned against the wall, and closed her eyes. She heard Justin shift his feet, and opened her eyes again. He smiled reassuringly.
“Don’t worry, the shot isn’t lethal.”
James ordered herself not to shake, and spoke in an admirably calm voice.
“Than you never planned to…”
“No. I never was going to kill them. I just didn’t want to get the police involved.”
“Why not?”
“Their names would mean nothing to the police. That makes things difficult sometimes, but luckily I have the same privilege.”
“You mean the three of you have no record?”
Justin chuckled, and leaned against the railing with his arms crossed.
“More than that. None of us exist in the legal sense of the word here. Like I said it has its drawbacks, but it has its advantages too.”
James had no idea what he was talking about, but Justin acted like she should, so she kept her mouth shut and listened, hoping to pick up on whatever she had missed. Justin continued his speech with the air of one giving a lecture.
“I’m practically invisible here. I can do basically anything and not suffer the consequences. For instance, when I do this…”
Justin raised his weapon in a casual manner, and without changing the expression on his face shot James dead in the chest. A sharp pain almost equaled by her shock rippled through her. Her whole body shook uncontrollably as the world went blurry and she struggled to breath. She collapsed on the ground, gasping and completely bewildered. Justin strolled over to her helpless form and leaned over her, continuing his explanation with the same unfazed, casual demeanor.
“When I do this, there will be no repercussions. When you disappear, and the police line up all the usual suspects, ‘Justin Grey’ won’t be one of them. Even if they do look for me, I won’t be found. By that time I’ll be long gone. Eventually they’ll give up and stop looking for you, it happens all the time when there’s no evidence, no trace left. I do owe you for distracting our unusual friend here though, if he hadn’t been going after you I never would have gotten Seth off me.”
He flashed another one of his winning smiles at her, and just before James sank into oblivion she heard one last sentence:
“Like I said before, ‘thanks’ doesn’t even cover it.”
James slowly opened her eyes and blinked in the light of the afternoon sun. It seemed concentrated on the spot where she stood, with all of Haven spread out before her. She glanced around to take stock of where she was. With astonishment she realized she was back on her hill. After a moment of confusion, it dawned on her that she was dreaming. She wasn’t really here, although she’d always thought that you didn’t dream when you passed out. It was a vivid dream; the Walls frowned down at her just like they did in the waking world. But for some reason James found them more interesting in her unconscious state, something was happening to them that she didn’t understand at first.
Even though she knew it was only a dream, her heart gave a leap when she realized what was happening to the Walls: They were falling. Silently, the great Walls were collapsing in on themselves, sending a noiseless tremor through the whole city and throwing tremendous amounts of dust into the air. The buildings near the edge of Haven where obscured, and James thought she could make out the forms of people fleeing in terror from the great cloud. The clamor stopped, and James’ heart nearly did with it. She stood on her hill in the middle of the city as the cloud gradually began to clear…
“Shhh! I think I hear something.”
It was clearly Seth’s voice that James heard, but when she opened her eyes she could see nothing. Perfect blackness greeted her sight, and she was agonizingly cold. She tried to turn her head, but found she couldn’t. Her arms and legs also refused to obey her wishes. Even when she tried to speak, an unintelligible gurgling was the only product of her efforts. She couldn’t move, speak or see anything. As the realization of her perfect helplessness sunk in a dull panic welled up in her. Her breathing, which thankfully was unhampered, came quick and shallow. A rustling sound came from a few feet to her left, and she felt a warm hand on her wrist. A moment later Seth spoke again.
“Don’t be frightened, you’re alright. The effects just haven’t worn off yet. Relax and you’ll be able to move soon.”
He continued to hold James’ wrist in an odd manner. She thought he must have been checking her pulse. A tingling sensation started in her toes and she found she could wiggle them a little. Immense relief swept over her as the feeling worked it’s way through the rest of her body. She could move now, but with caution. Soreness covered her limbs like a blanket. She also began shivering violently; apparently she had sat motionless for a long time. Seth helped her sit upright.
“You’ll be fine in a minute. Don’t fight the cold either, it’s a good sign if you can feel it.”
James sat shivering for what seemed an eternity, although it wouldn’t have been so bad if it still wasn’t so dark. Gradually she found she could speak.
“Why can’t I see anything?”
“That’s not you, its just dark in here. Hang on, I got a light.”
There was a short click, and a flickering flame appeared in mid air. The sudden light blinded James at first, but when her eyes adjusted she could make out Seth staring back at her, a small lighter in his hand.
“Where’s the…the other one?”
“He’s in the corner. He didn’t want to scare you again.”
“I don’t mind.”
This wasn’t exactly true, but James would rather look at Fenris than think about him lurking around somewhere in the dark. The sound of heavy footsteps approached, and Fenris cautiously poked his face into the circle of light. Very deliberately, without making any sudden moves, the thing extended his clawed, fuzzy hand in greeting. James managed a weak smile and took it.
“My name is Fenris for the record. I’m sorry if I came on a little strong before, I didn’t know who’s side you were on.”
“Well, seeing as Grey shot her I think we can safely assume she’s not an accomplice. He wouldn’t have locked her up either unless he knew she wouldn’t want to stay. What did he tell you anyway to make you cooperate?”
James looked at Seth and felt a twinge of guilt. She knew now that He had been trying to save her from whatever Justin had planned. It was her fault they were all in this mess, and however embarrassing it was to explain how he’d deceived her she felt she owed it to them.
“He didn’t seek me out. I found him bleeding in an ally and he told me a Gang jumped him.”
“So you took him to the hospital and the rest is history. What he told you is partially true. I’m not part of a gang, and I didn’t jump him, but it is my fault that he was injured.”
“How so?”
Seth chuckled ruefully.
“It’s a long story, but the short version is that a scuffle broke out and I couldn’t keep the situation under control. Madison can be a bit…over enthusiastic when it comes to that sort of thing.”
“Madison? Justin said something like that too.”
Seth smiled in a strange way and nodded.
“Fenris and Madison see it as their job to protect the rest of our group. After Justin got away from us, we broke up into search parties, knowing he was up to no good, as undoubtedly you can see now.”
“But what was the fight about in the first place? Why did he kidnap me? Why is he holding us here? What did he mean about me disappearing?”
Seth and Fenris exchanged a glance. Seth cleared his throat and thought for a moment before answering.
“It would take a long time to explain. I think we should focus on trying to find a way out of here first.”
James couldn’t help the look she gave Seth at his words. How did she know these people weren’t pulling the wool over her eyes like Justin? The bits they had told her didn’t really explain anything. Maybe if she heard more she could decide better if they were on the level. If she demanded to hear more and they clamed up she’d at least know they had something to hide. On the other hand, she wanted to get out of this place, and her only chance of escape was probably with these two people. Then again, she’d already been tricked once today, and had no intention of falling for something twice.
*******
Okay, how is James going to act? Should she trust them? pretend to? Demand answers? Or something else?
_________________
"My candle burns at both its ends, it will not last the night;
But ah, my foes, and oh, my friends, it gives a lovely light!"
-Edna St. Vincent Millay
Whodunnit?On hold till further notice
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Masterweaver
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| Posted: Sat Dec 30, 2006 6:35 pm Post subject: |
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She should call upon her (previously unknown even to herself) great magical power!
It's a cliche, but...
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Geek_girl72
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| Posted: Sun Dec 31, 2006 11:24 am Post subject: |
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Sorry, this is more sci fi than fantasy, no magical powers : (
She's going to need Iago-like guile to survive this situation, the question is how does she use it?
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Masterweaver
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| Posted: Sun Dec 31, 2006 11:27 am Post subject: |
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She faints.
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solus.serpen
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| Posted: Mon Jan 01, 2007 3:16 am Post subject: |
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She agrees and helps them to find a way out. Hey-they're all in the same boat here. And I don't think they would take further questioning too well right now. Best to start off on a good note. Ask them later.
-And great chapter, GG. 
Hopefully the next one won't be so long in coming - or else my *holding breath* technique might prove somewhat troublesome 
~Solus
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| Posted: Mon Jan 01, 2007 8:52 am Post subject: |
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She calls her pet telepathic cat!
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Geek_girl72
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| Posted: Mon Jan 01, 2007 9:42 am Post subject: |
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Hopefully I'll be able to do the next chapter quicker, this one and next are hard becasue the rest of the charatcers, like maddison who we haven't seen yet, are going to be introduced. Also, I need to show the depth of Justin's villiany, speaking of wicj, I'm a little nervous about how this chapter came off, what did you think of The twist in the middle?
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| Posted: Mon Jan 01, 2007 9:45 am Post subject: |
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It's all good!
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solus.serpen
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| Posted: Mon Jan 01, 2007 10:47 am Post subject: |
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Yes, it was done very well - I was regretting not saying about it in my last post actually. I think it was definitely interesting to switch sides like that, but now we are unsure as to who is the bad/good guy. It certainly helps with getting the characters across 
The only niggle I have with it was that it was quite short and sudden. One minute he is her friend and ally - and the next thing we know, he has shot her, dissapeared, and Seth is suddenly being 'nice guy' and helping her.
It was good, but it leaves us a bit dazed - however, I think that the next chapter(s) should be more revealing (introducing new chars etc.) so that will be fine
I like the way that it has a big plot twist so near the beginning of the book actually, it's not often you see one of those.
~Solus
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| Posted: Wed Jan 03, 2007 9:46 am Post subject: |
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Okay, are there any other techniques James could use to make sure history doesn't repeat itself? She's got to make sure she come out in one piece.
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| Posted: Wed Jan 03, 2007 10:48 am Post subject: |
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Well, maybe she could ask for some kind of proof? Something which shows her that they wren't just lying like Justin was? I'm not sure what exactly - but it would be quicker than demanding them to tell her the whole story. After all, she doesn't even know where she is. I think it's probably best to trust them for now. At least until she gets out of there.
~Solus
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| Posted: Wed Jan 03, 2007 10:27 pm Post subject: |
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Not much I can think of other than telling them she want's no part of it, that she just want's to go home.
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| Posted: Thu Jan 04, 2007 6:26 pm Post subject: |
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Where is home?
I mean, she can't very well go back to her house after (insert strange incident here)...
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| Posted: Sat Jan 06, 2007 8:51 am Post subject: |
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Sometime you have to make deals with the devil. She can't trust anyone. But she can work with them until she get more information. I like asking for proof, even if it is just a token.
Well written story
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| Posted: Sat Jan 06, 2007 1:10 pm Post subject: |
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Wow. What a great story.
I have to disagree with Solus, though, I loved the sudden twist. Make the reader feel as dazed as James felt. Yeah!
I'd go with pretending to trust them for the time being, she needs to play her cards close to her chest. She's not really into going home, I think, because she finds the whole idea of an enclosed city claustrophobic, and has an insatiable desire to know more of what's outside. These people possibly come from 'outside'. She may not necessarily want to get involved in their business, but they may be her passage to gain her dream.
Looking forward to the next instalment!
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Geek_girl72
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| Posted: Sat Jan 06, 2007 10:18 pm Post subject: |
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Wow, I've got a family crisis going on and need to take some time off, I'll be back soon though.
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solus.serpen
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| Posted: Sun Jan 07, 2007 12:02 am Post subject: |
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Ok - good luck with it! Hope all goes well
~Solus
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chapter 6 of DESTINY - a super old SG which won't continue...but there are a full 6 chapters if you feel like reading something with no ending!
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Geek_girl72
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| Posted: Thu Jan 18, 2007 9:33 am Post subject: |
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Okay, I'm back now. Is there any more thougths before I put a poll up?
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| Posted: Thu Jan 18, 2007 3:54 pm Post subject: |
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| Have "Fenris" rip someone apart in self defense, come on seriously, pwetty please? *puppy eyes*
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Crunchyfrog
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| Posted: Fri Jan 19, 2007 4:34 am Post subject: |
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| Sticking with my original thoughts....
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Geek_girl72
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| Posted: Mon Jan 22, 2007 9:42 am Post subject: |
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| Quote: | | Have Fenris rip someone apart in self-defense |
That's actually a good idea, but it might fit later. Right now they have to get out of wherever they are, and James needs to decide if she should trust them. Ripping someone apart with his bare hands might not be the best way to convince James she's safe with them.
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| Posted: Thu Jan 25, 2007 8:40 am Post subject: |
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Alright, poll is up!
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| Posted: Thu Jan 25, 2007 10:01 am Post subject: |
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| I like option 1, 2, and 3. And would like to see element of 2,3 worked in. But in the end she has little choice but to go with them atleast until she learns more.
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Geek_girl72
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| Posted: Mon Jan 29, 2007 12:15 pm Post subject: |
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Onlt two votes so far? and a tie too? come on, you guys can do better than that!
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| Posted: Thu Feb 01, 2007 5:28 pm Post subject: |
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| I'm back and I'm breaking ties! Can't wait to see more of this story.
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Tue Feb 06, 2007 9:01 am Post subject: |
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Finally, the tie is broken! James will keep her mouth shut and see what happens. I'm getting all psyched about this next chapter, the story is going to really take off now.
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| Posted: Tue Feb 20, 2007 1:11 pm Post subject: |
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My enthusiasm turnned out to be premature, I got loaded down with homework and haven't been able to do much work on the next chapter, it is comming though, and I'll try to have it done by the end of the month. In the meantime, I'd like to ask you if you think the story has a solid start, or if there are some errors I could keep in mind for when I go over it?
I ask becasue depending on how this story goes over here, I'm going to try nad make a novel out of it, so i'd appreciate any input/comments you guys have.
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But ah, my foes, and oh, my friends, it gives a lovely light!"
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| Posted: Mon Mar 05, 2007 1:51 pm Post subject: |
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I really wanted to get the next chapter up by now, but my home computer is currently scattered all over my diningroom table(don't ask) so I'll have to finish it up on my breaks at school which might take a while.
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But ah, my foes, and oh, my friends, it gives a lovely light!"
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| Posted: Mon May 07, 2007 1:13 pm Post subject: |
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Chapter Four: The Walls Crumble
“Yeah, that’s probably the best idea right now.”
James replied to Seth’s statement. She still wasn’t sure if she could trust these people, but they were her best bet to get out of this mess with her skin intact.
Seth smiled and helped James stand up.
“Alright then, down to business. Can you walk on your own? Good. The first thing we should do is try to find-”
Before Seth could finish, there was a muffled commotion from somewhere outside. Raised voices, thudding, and crashes all piled on top of each other to create a chaotic clamor that was rapidly getting nearer.
“What’s that?”
James asked. Fenris chuckled (which was not a pleasent thing), and an odd grin took over Seth’s face.
“Unless I’m mistaken, that’s Madison.”
James remembered what Justin had said earlier and her eyes widened. He was not a weak man, and she wondered what the guy who could overpower him must look like. The noise increased, shouts and what sounded like guns firing were heard. Then abruptly, it all ceased, save for the slow approach of heavy footsteps. A moment later the door swung open, and the light from outside nearly blinded the prisoners at first. When her eyes adjusted to the shock of light, James looked towards the door way and saw the figure of a tall, intimidating, militaristic....woman. For a woman it most unmistakably was. Long, curly blond hair was tied back in a sloppy manner behind her head. Two lash-framed eyes stared casually at the three prisoners as if perfectly accustomed to such situations. A sheathed knife was strapped to her side, a small pack was over her shoulder, and a gun like the one Justin had was in her hand. She looked remarkably like a female Justin, but with a decidedly more pronounced air of discipline and reserve. James’ mouth dropped open in disbelief.
“That’s Madison?”
Madison looked sharply at James, having not noticed her presence before. She glanced at Seth with a question in her face.
“Victim of circumstances, we couldn’t help her involvement.”
He explained. Madison shrugged and approached the surprised girl, her boots making a sharp ka-Thunk! With each step. She smiled in a friendly manner and extended her hand.
“Sasha Madison, at your service. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”
There was something oddly casual and disciplined at once in the way she spoke that perplexed James completely. She wasn’t sure how to respond to such a person, but returned her outstretched hand so as not to be rude. The woman gripped her hand in a firm hand shake, a very firm handshake, while looking her straight in the face as if every aspect of her character could be determined by it.
“I’m, uh, James.”
“James huh? Doesn’t really seem to fit you.”
“Well, my parents were expecting-”
James never finished her explanation, since a ruckus once more was breaking out outside. Madison quickly turned back to the doorway she had just entered and surveyed whatever threat was bearing down on them. A split second later she turned back to the small group.
“Looks like the rest of them are coming; we’d better get out of here. Seth, you and James stay inside, Fenris and I will take care of this.”
James couldn't resist peeking outside. The thick woods all raound almost blocked the sight of several armed men charging at them at breakneck speed. On the ground were the unconscious forms of three men wearing uniforms similar to the one she’d seen on Justin. Madison grabbed another gun off one of them and tossed it to Fenris, and the two took as much cover behind some trees as they could, preparing for a skirmish. James had only a moment to take in that the room they’d been held in was really an odd metallic structure completely foreign to her before Seth took hold of her arm and pulled her back into the room. None too soon too, for another electric charge whizzed a hairsbreadth over her head and sizzled into the back wall of the chamber. As Fenris and Madison fired a few return shots at their attackers, James realized that this was the third time that day she was in a set of very dangerous and possibly life threatening situations. She discovered that one quickly grew to enjoy them.
Carefully, she peered again out of the doorway, taking care this time to stay low to the ground. She saw Madison and Fenris were holding off a group of about seven people being led by a great, grizzly man with an ogerish face. Justin was nowhere to be seen. James turned back to Seth, who was similarly watching the fight from the other side of the doorway.
“So why aren’t you out there on the front lines with your friends?”
“Me? I wouldn’t know which end was which with a gun, and I’d probably blast my own head off trying to figure it out. Those two are professionals; I learned a long time ago not to get in their way.”
James returned her attention to the fight and saw the proof of Seth’s words. A few men from the attacking group were hit and dropping to the ground, convulsing just like James had done before. It was the most suspensful and exciting thing James had ever witnessed, and the only thing that spoiled it was that over the tops of the trees the Wall, even in this remote and unused part of Haven, could be seen. Eventually the oger-man (shouting explicatives unlike anything James had ever heard) was forced to retreat with his troops. An unnatural silence suddenly fell upon the woods. Madison lowered her weapon and called to the two taking shelter in the holding cell.
“Seth, you dead yet?”
“No, I’m still here.”
“Good. I think they’re going to try to get behind us and attack again, we should move out.”
The two fighters very rapidly led Seth and James through the woods, halting their progress every now and then to make sure they weren’t being followed. James watched the efficient and assured way Fenris and Madison carried it out; clearly they’d had much experience at this. No one said much of anything for a long time, until Madison looked at Fenris without a word and he gave a slight nod, and the two called a rest. They all stopped to catch their breath, and James saw that they were now much nearer the Wall. Something was wrong about it though, something she couldn’t quite put her finger on. Madison set down her pack and broke in on James’ thoughts, preventing her from pondering it further.
“So...James, how exactly did you get mixed up in this?”
James explained as briefly as possible what had happened, and then looked at the three people in front of her seriously, especially Madison.
“Now that we’re safe for a while and I’ve answered your questions, will you please answer a few of mine?”
Madison just shrugged casually.
“Sure. About what?”
“For starters, did you really stab Justin in the ribs? And why? What did he want with me? And what on earth are you all fighting over?”
“That could take a while to explain in full. Briefly what happened was that those charming people back their came across us the other day. We were perfectly willing to behave civilly, but we presented a sort of problem to them, and they attacked us. I was acting in defense of myself and my comrades. It was nothing personal against Justin, although he can be a pain in the neck.”
“And why did he kidnap me?”
Madison thought for a moment before answering, as if that question puzzled her as well.
“You know? I don’t really think he set out to. I think he took you mainly because you were a witness, the other benefits must have been an afterthought.”
“Benefits? What benefits?”
Here Seth interjected.
“That gets even more complicated. Were you aware of the fact that your home is on contested territory?”
James stared back at him, completely baffled.
“Contested? By who? Haven is all one people. There aren’t any different political bodies or anything.”
“I didn’t mean inside Haven.”
James looked slowly up at Seth, the weight of his words hitting her full force. For a moment that seemed an eternity, she just stared at him, wondering if she were imagining this whole day. When she spoke, she was almost afraid to, afraid that the dream might end if she pushed it too far.
“Are you saying...it’s contested by people...outside Haven?”
Seth smiled kindly at the girl’s astonishment and glanced at his companions. Madison grinned, swung her pack back over her shoulder, and jerked her head towards a sloping hill a little ways in the distance.
“Follow us kid.”
James followed the three most unusual people she had ever met up the steep hill with her head spinning. There was a thought dawning on her that she couldn’t exactly grasp. It had something to do with what was wrong with the Wall. She turned it over in her mind as she made her way up the hill. What was wrong with the Wall? She thought to herself. There was something strange, different....
The second before she crested the hill it hit her. All the Walls of Haven had a slight incline to them, leaning into the city. But with the Wall within her vision, the incline was outward, opposite what it should have been. As soon as this realization struck her, she gained the top of the hill on the heels of her guides, the forest ending abruptly as the ground slopped downwards, giving her an excellent view. She looked out over the scene stretching before her and saw....
Everything.
Everything she had ever imagined and couldn’t have imagined was laid out at her feet in that moment. Fields over flowing with tall grass and wildflowers spread out in every direction. Mountains that she’d often read about but never had the chance to see glimmered in the hazy blue horizon. Birds and forest animals of every description scurried away from the intruders, and directly in front of her, about a half mile away from the foot of the hill, was the ocean lapping gently against the shore. But more than all this, it was the sense of being out, of being somewhere else other than her home, that took her breath, and the vastness of the world spreading out before her made James dizzy. Seth watched the awestruck and speechless girl, and his face turned thoughtful.
“People usually discover at some point that the world is bigger than they thought it was, but unlike you, it’s hardly ever literal. You should count yourself lucky.”
Although James later remembered those words, and remembered them for the rest of her life, at the time she almost didn’t hear them. It was nearly too much for James to bear at the moment, seeing everything all at once.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
The descent downhill was much easier than the climb, but also longer. As the four made their way down to the shore, Seth did his best to explain where they were going and what James could expect.
“The rest of our group is nearby on our ship. Once inside we can be sure of safety, and we’ll answer all the questions you have, although I’m sure you have a lot.”
When they reached the shore, James looked all around her but saw nothing, not even a rowboat. Madison pulled a small square gadget from her pack, depressed a button on the side, and spoke into it.
“Mr. Price? This is Madison speaking, are you within range?”
There was a moment of silence, and then a rather flustered and nasally male voice sounded from the odd instrument laden with static.
“Madison? Hello? Smity! How in blazes do you work this confounded thing? Ah, are all of you alright?”
“Yes, all present and accounted for, but we have a situation that needs some attention.”
“No one’s injured, are they?”
“No, nothing like that Mr. Price. We do have a guest though.”
“Oh, for heven's sake! Didn’t I tell you to avoid contact with the natives? Well, never mind. Just come aboard and we’ll see what can be done about it.”
Madison, Fenris, and Seth just stood there doing nothing. James kept searching for any sign of the vessel that was supposed to be nearby. Upon asking Seth where his boat was, he broke into an enigmatic chuckle.
“First of all it most certainly isn’t mine, and secondly, I said Ship, not boat.”
At first James thought he was being a snob, but the rumbling beneath her feet soon put that to rest. It grew in severity, nearly causing her to lose her balance. The other three behaved completely unfazed by the tremors. A large circle of water about a hundred yards from the shore began to gurgle and bubble in the most disconcerting manner. James, having never seen the ocean, wondered if this was normal, until the circle darkened, and a massive object defying description rose from the waters and hovered a few feet from the surface. James didn’t know how to articulate what it was like, except that it was bigger than her whole apartment building and looked like something right out of her favorite books. Intrepid was inscribed on the front in letters as tall as Fenris. The Ship drew forward until it cast a shadow over the small company. A wide door opened and slowly lowered, forming a ramp into the vessel. James gazed transfixed by this impossible thing, too overcome with wonder to move. By and by Seth nudged her.
“Feel like taking a look?”
“Uh huh.”
The interior was just as extraordinary as the exterior. In a daze, James was led past the spacious cargo bay they’d entered by into a dark room filled with lights and machines she couldn’t fathom the use of. In the middle was a pleasant faced man with large glasses and grey hair sticking up at odd places, hinting that he was often pulling it in frustration. James instantly knew that this must be the Mr. Price Madison had been talking too. He glanced at James, did a double take, took off his glasses and cleaned them, then put them back on and peered at her.
“Well, I guess the Ulthurians were wrong.”
Was all he said. He started snickering at his own joke, whatever it was supposed to mean, and turned back to doing whatever he had been doing, paying no more attention to James. Seth observed this odd person the same way one would a crazy uncle they were very fond of despite his insanity and shook his head.
“Fenris, Madison, you guys should probably get your finding to Ivy and Logan, I’ll give James the tour.”
“Sure thing.”
Madison replied, and left with her imposing friend. James noticed that Seth also watched her leave with a very different sort of expression, but made no comment on it. He headed over to a podium off in a corner, motioning her to follow. He hit a button, and a transparent, three-dimensional view of a solar system flashed above it. It would have startled James under any other set of circumstances, but after the events of the past hour she thought nothing would ever surprise her again. Seth cleared his voice and pointed to a small planet somewhere in the middle of the display.
“Before I show you around, I’ll try to explain what’s been going on. This planet right here is the one we’re on. We don’t know its name, or if it even has one. But we do know a major race sent refugees here a few centuries ago.”
“Refugees?”
“Yes. Haven was some sort of retreat during what we call the collapse. Long story, but basically it was a series of wars and economic crisis that ravaged hundreds of races and civilizations. An astronomical amount of knowledge, both scientific and historical, was lost; a situation which we’re only just starting to recover from. That brings us to the current problem. Your planet was recently re-discovered by explorers. Under the agreements of the more able political bodies operating right now, it’s outlawed to interfere with any planet it until legal ownership-if any-is established. Now, two races have claimed that the inhabitants of this planet are descendants of theirs, and both seemed to have proof.”
“What does that have to do with Justin kidnapping me?”
“Well, this planet is rich in resources, and very heated arguments were taking place over who had claim to it. Since an impasse had been reached, both parties decided to hire investigations of their own, which is why we and Justin’s party are here. We were both commisioned to find evidence of ancestry. The thing is, our presence here is legally ambiguous, which gives Justin some license for his behavior. If his employer’s claim is established, he and his crew will receive clemency from them. If not, it could cause trouble. So naturally he’s under pressure from his captain to bring their customer’s something solid.”
“Captain? Justin isn’t the leader?”
“You’d think so, but no. That honor belongs to old baby-face you saw back in the fight, Captain Grenton. Justin is only the second in command, if you can call it that.”
“And they were going to use me as proof that their people were right?”
“That’s where it gets sticky. Neither the Ulthurians, who Hired Grenton, or the Maldari, who hired us, are human. Both are wrong about this planet. Justin probably figured if he had solid proof of this, he could blackmail the Ulthurians.”
Everything clicked into place with this final explanation and James saw why events had happened as they did. Since Seth and his shipmates also knew the truth about Haven, they were an obstacle to the other’s plan. That must have been how the fight that wounded Justin had started. James suddenly realized that Seth could have the exact same motives for rescuing her from Justin, and she felt a shiver run down her spine. Something about Seth made the thought of him doing such things seem worse then Justin doing them. He appeared trustworthy, but so had Justin, and trusting him had turned out to be a big mistake. Seth appeared to pick up that she was uneasy. He flicked off the display and looked her in the face.
“You don’t have to worry about us, kidnapping and blackmail aren’t our ideas of proper business tactics. Why don’t I show you the rest of the ship now?”
James nodded and followed Seth out of the room. The Intrepid consisted of three levels or decks. The first, which they had entered on, was reserved for cargo and navigational systems. Seth showed her those fairly quickly. The second was personal quarters, and the third held the engine chamber and several other rooms the crew used for their work. At the doorway to one of these Seth paused and turned back to face James.
“This is the tech lab right here. Logan uses it to examine any interesting gadgets or other technology we find in the course of business. We’re really lucky to have him; he’s a perfect genius with anything mechanical and probably understands how this ship works better than anybody. He’s probably inside right now, so just one word of caution: he’s a bit touchy about his age, so don’t mention it.”
“Is he really old?”
Seth surpressed a laugh and opened the door. At first James didn’t see anybody, then noticed a figure resting his head on a low workbench, with tools and half-constructed devices scattered around him, snoring softly. Apparently he’d fallen asleep while working. Seth shook his head and nudged his co-worker gently.
“Logan….Logan? Come on, wake up.”
Logan groaned and stirred in his sleep.
“Five more minutes ma...”
Seth sighed, and deciding more drastic measures were needed, kicked the leg of the chair so that it slid back sharply and shocked the sleeping figure awake. Logan sat upright with a start. He looked around himself, confused for a moment by his fading slumber, then shook himself and looked up at Seth. Again James saw something she hadn’t expected. The person in front of her was not an old man; he was a teenage boy with brown hair and freckles. He couldn’t have been any older than James, and looked at least a few years younger. He started to say something to Seth, then noticed James and stood quickly to his feet.
“Oh! Hello. I didn’t know we had a visitor.”
“This is James. We were sort of thrown together today.”
The boy didn’t react in any way to hearing the boyish name of their guest, but smiled warmly and offered his hand.
“Logan Smith, call me Smity. Please excuse the mess around here; I would have straightened up if I knew you were coming.”
James didn’t know if he was serious or trying to make a joke. If the latter was his object he was terrible at it. In any case he was much more polite than Brian, and practically any of the boys James had known in their early teens. She took an instant liking to him; he was like the kid parents told their children to be like without the insipidness. James would have replied, but at that moment a terrific crash sounded from the hallway. They rushed out to see a large mess of various items spilled all over the floor, many of which James recognized as common household articles found in Haven. In the middle of the mess was an over tipped box and a young woman with an exasperated face. She was hurriedly trying to gather the things off the floor and put them back in the box. Seth attempted to help her clean the mess up.
“Hey Ivy, need a hand with that?”
“No, no. I can get it myself. I am capable of doing some things on my own, thank you very much.”
The woman apparently named Ivy snapped at Seth as if the accident were his fault. Smity shook his head and slunk quietly back into his lab. James half expected Seth to flare up and answer back, but he didn’t. To James’ surprise his face took on a sympathetic expression and he stepped out of the way without saying anything at all. Ivy hastily finished gathering up her scattered possessions, and lugged the box up off the floor. She noticed James for the first time, and scanned her from head to foot as if she were just another artifact belonging in the box.
“Is this the native Mr. Price was babbling about? I thought his mind was drifting again.”
“Uh…yeah. She-”
“Has Emmet looked at her yet? He really should. She could be carrying who knows what with her.”
With that final statement of concern Ivy readjusted her burden, once again refusing Seth’s offer for help, and carried it with difficulty down the hall. A moment after she rounded the corner and disappeared from view, another crash identical to the one before sounded, followed by frustrated mutterings. Seth didn’t say anything else, but lapsed into a thoughtful silence. Ivy’s voice picked up again, venting her irritation on some other unfortunate target. A man stepped into view, looking over his shoulder at the confrontation he’d just escaped. He was somewhere in his mid twenties, and was a little too thin for his height.
“That’s Emmet.” Seth explained. “He’s our ship doctor.”
Emmet sauntered over to Seth and James with a slightly bewildered expression.
“What’s gotten into Ivy lately? She almost bit my head for no reason and muttered something about how the last thing we need is an epidemic. I uh, guess she meant you.”
His last phrase was directed at James, and stated with obvious embarrassment for his co-worker’s rudeness.
“I don’t think we need to worry though. You’ve been here for a couple of hours and we aren’t dead yet, so please excuse Ivy, she isn’t usually like that.”
The tour of the ship now being complete, Seth took James back to the large room they had entered with Fenris and Madison earlier. Fenris and Madison were waiting with Mr. Price, who was seated in a chair and rose when they entered.
“Ah, there you are. What do you think of the Intrepid?”
“It’s the most fantastic thing I’ve ever seen.”
Mr. Price was pleased with this bit of praise and his perpetually cheerful face broke into an even bigger smile.
“I’m glad you like it; although regrettably you’ll probably have to keep it to yourself in the future.”
“What do you mean?”
“I’ve asked these two to escort you safely home. I don’t think your friends would believe this little adventure even if you told them. They’d probably think you’d lost your mind.”
James had been so caught up in the joy of getting outside Haven that she hadn’t thought about the possibility of going back to it. The idea hit her like a splash of cold water, and she felt her stomach tie in knots and her cheeks starting to flush.”
“Back home? I appreciate that, but…I don’t suppose you’d consider…I mean, is there any way I could…persuade you to…to take me with you?”
Almost immediately after the words were out of her mouth James regretted saying them It sounded so silly, so pathetic. She was certain if she’d read in one of her books she would have shoved it aside and not bothered to finish it. Mr. Price started at the suggestion, then furrowed his brow in thought.
“I’m not sure if that’s possible. I’m almost certain that it’s not. How could we tear you away from your home? And without knowing if we could come back? It doesn’t seem right.”
Seth cast a quick sympathetic look at James. He was good at reading people, and seemed to pick up on James’ aversion to locking herself up in Haven, especially after seeing that there truly was something out there to miss. He cleared his throat a little, getting Mr. Price’s attention.
“I don’t think she has much to hold her here, what harm could it be?”
“…I’m just not sure…”
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Okay, sorry it took so long to get this chapter up, despite the fact that it’s kind of slapped together. So what does Mr. Price decide about James? A no wouldn’t necessarily stop the story from progressing, and could have some interesting effects…
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Mon May 07, 2007 2:24 pm Post subject: |
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I think he would need to know what James could offer them. So it's up to her to convince him, which may be hard, as she probably doesn't have any skills they need.
However, perhaps she can offer to come with them as proof of the life on Haven?
Nice chapter GG! Enjoyed I did.
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Geek_girl72
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| Posted: Tue May 08, 2007 2:06 pm Post subject: |
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Thanks China. I honestly didn't think of James trying to persuade them, although I don't see how that could affect the story any different than a yes. Maybe I could include that in the yes option?
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Tue May 08, 2007 4:12 pm Post subject: |
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| Geek_girl72 wrote: | | Thanks China. I honestly didn't think of James trying to persuade them, although I don't see how that could affect the story any different than a yes. Maybe I could include that in the yes option? |
It could be included in the yes or no option really. I was just explaining my thinking, such as it is.
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Geek_girl72
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| Posted: Tue May 08, 2007 7:34 pm Post subject: |
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| Quote: | | It could be included in the yes or no option really. I was just explaining my thinking, such as it is. |
Yeah, I guess it could. Is there anything other than a yes or no answer to this problem? Like...Maybe she comes on condition that she must go back or something.
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But ah, my foes, and oh, my friends, it gives a lovely light!"
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| Posted: Fri May 11, 2007 9:39 am Post subject: |
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Well if she does go back it would open a whole new can of worms, since now she has proof, information, etc.
Bit of a critical DP this one! Maybe another option: Perhaps the very fact that she is a native may be an advantage to them of some kind.
How about Price finds a compromise - lets her be of use for a while before sending her back to Haven.
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Geek_girl72
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| Posted: Fri May 11, 2007 7:34 pm Post subject: |
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Alright, the poll is up. This is a big dp, it will affect the whole story. I almost hope though, that the 'no option is picked, I think the idea I have for that choice is the best, but now I'm trying to influence the system. Voters, the fate of our plucky protagonist is in your hands!
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But ah, my foes, and oh, my friends, it gives a lovely light!"
-Edna St. Vincent Millay
Whodunnit?On hold till further notice
I Don't Believe in Fate: Chapter 13 is now released
Lost n' Spacey On hold till Further Notice
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| Posted: Sat May 12, 2007 2:51 am Post subject: |
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I voted Yes, unconditionally. Why not? You might as well take every advantage you can get... Congratulations by the way, Crunchyfrog, you posted the 100,000th post! You win a cookie! *hands him a cookie*
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| What does Mr. Price decide? |
| Just isn't right: He says no |
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33% |
[ 2 ] |
| Well, for a little while: Yes on the condition she goes back |
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16% |
[ 1 ] |
| Why not? He says yes. |
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50% |
[ 3 ] |
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| Total Votes : 6 |
| Who Voted: Argonaut, Chinaren, Crossfire, Crunchyfrog, LordoftheNight |
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