 |
 |
 |
 |
|
| Author |
Message |
Alegria
Honored Citizen
Joined: 04 Mar 2005
Topics: 76
Posts: 1199
Location: On the beaches with Dr. Suess' Sneeches. Only the star-bellied ones, of course.
Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems
|
 Posted: Fri Dec 16, 2005 8:50 am Post subject: Sojourner's Journey Chapter 8 |
 |
|
Sojourner's Journey
Chapter 8
Masquerade
Alyssa awoke groggily the next morning, wondering what she was to do. She slowly recalled the meeting the previous night, and the flight back to the palace. She knew she must confront Ouran about the prophecy, but how to go about it.
Suddenly, as if thinking of Ouran had summoned him from his chambers, there was a knock on the door followed by a soft voice, "Alyssa, are you awake?"
Alyssa rubbed her eyes and sat up in bed. "Yes," she replied, "come in."
Ouran opened the door with five servants at his heels, carrying a box, actually there were several boxes, but most were hidden under the large one she noticed at first. The servants stopped, and then Ouran spoke, "Listen, I know I should have told you earlier, but..."
Alyssa panicked, 'he knows,' she thought, 'he knows, he knows, how should I apologize?'
"Alyssa, are you listening?"
Alyssa snapped back to reality and began, "Ouran, I know I should..."
Ouran interupted her by holding up a hand, "There's not much time, Alyssa, Masquerade starts tomorrow."
"What?"
"Masquerade, it's a week long festival, and at the end of the week, we'll conduct the ceremony to awaken your powers and give you a mark. We have to buy you seven dresses, seven masks, seven pairs of shoes, seven necklaces, seven braclets, and you'll have to practice for the ceremony."
So, they set out shopping. It turned out Rinosian dresses were vey exquisite, one that she bought was made totally of Ostrich feathers over the silk, and the bought a feathered mask to go with it. There was a mask of lace, a mask of wood and gold, a mask of wood with rubies embellishing it, all of which she bought. All in all, there were hundreds or maybe thousands of masks in the city. There were shoes of all colors, necklaces of all shapes, a different ensemble for every day, and it seemed that the Rinosians had more pastiry shops and cafes and restaurants in their city than a small country. She inquired after this, and Ouran just smiled.
"Rinosian have no kitchens. We live in a society without money, and have magic machines farm vast amounts of food, so everyone eats at the retaurants every night. All our civil services used to be done by magic, but now, well, we have started using Rinosians who need work.
***
That night, Alyssa told Ouran of the midnight meeting. And, he didn't seem suprised, he just smiled and responded, "I would have told you, but with the senators breathing down my neck every five seconds, I couldn't. You see, Alyssa, there are some who think that humans are like the original tribes we came with. People think that if you found we didn't have our powers, we would be worthless to you and destroy us."
Alyssa was shocked at this information that Ouran had known all along, "B-but," she stammered.
Ouran smiled and said, "Didn't you think it was funney that one of my personal guard went with you and didn't tell me and that the guards patrolling the palace conveiniently weren't patroling wherever you were?"
ALyssa had noticed these and had thought it was just dumb luck or sleeping guards.
Ouran continued, but this time in a different voice, the voice at the meeting, "So now that that's settled, I suggest we go off to our respective chambers."
After Ouran left, Alyssa blushed, how could she be so stupid, and she had made a fool of herself in front of Ouran, too. 'I wonder what he thinks of me,' she thought.
***
Masquerade passed in a blur of parties, parades, dancing, eating, balls, shows, and other festivities. By the last day, she hadn't slept properly all week, for it seemed that something as boring as sleep was taboo during masquerade. She had taken off her mask only once, and then Ouran whispered that it was considered very rude to take off your mask during the festival.
All this time, she had a huge desire to be with Ouran the entire time, but she couldn't, he was the Sojourner, they belonged in different worlds, 'besides,' she reasoned, 'she just wanted to be near him because he was her only friend in the city.'
But, in the back of her mind, she knew this was not true.
Finally, it was the last day, the day of the ceremony. She got in her ceremonial clothes at one o clock, the ceremony started at two o clock sharp, and started to go to the temple, but the crowds were too large, she would never make it, then she remembered a map of the city in Ouran's study, she went back, looked at the map, and chose an alternate route.
She went down the road, and found that the houses were getting shabbier, and some you could tell were abandoned. There were no partiers here, and she began to get uneasy.
She stopped running to catch her breath, and stooped over, to find herself face to face with a creature.
The creature looked like a worm with eyes and teeth, with a perfectly round mouth. She knew what is was, it was a parasite. She had read about it in the Great Library bestiaries. If it bit her, it would take over her body, cause her to go into a populated area, and explode, which could infect dozens of others with the baby parasites that would come out of her, ready to feed.
A voice came from behind, and it was Ouran. "Alyssa, where are you, the ceremony is starting soon," Then he spotted her and looked worried, "Alyssa, you shouldn't be here, there's a nest on this road, a parasite nes..." his voice trailed off as he saw the parasite.
"Alyssa," he screamed, "run"
But if she ran, it would get Ouran
Descision Point
Any way that Alyssa can save Ouran and herself, or should she sacrifice herself for Ouran's sake?
_________________
A writer doesn't solve problems. He allows them to emerge.
-Friedrich Dürrenmatt
 
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
 |
|
 |
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Message |
Shady Stoat
Elder
Joined: 02 Oct 2005
Topics: 76
Posts: 2950
Location: England
Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems
|
| Posted: Fri Dec 16, 2005 9:24 am Post subject: |
|
|
Nicely written 
Difficult decision point too. I would have to say that Alyssa should run. She is still new here, and in a new situation, she should rely on Ouran's judgement. Maybe he has magic that he can use to save himself. We've got to assume that a person this important can look after himself 
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Message |
Suneila
Guest
Items
|
| Posted: Fri Dec 16, 2005 9:40 am Post subject: |
|
|
<presses f5> I agree with the stoat.
Actually, I didn't press f5 'cuz I still haven't bothered changing that. But I do agree with Shady. He wouldn't tell her to run, if he was planning on getting himself killed, he knows how important he is to his people.
~sunny
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Message |
Ingrothechundyer
Guest
Items
|
| Posted: Fri Dec 16, 2005 11:02 am Post subject: |
|
|
I agree.
Time to run away and let the expert (and his guards?) handle the situation.
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Message |
Ravenwing
Honorable IFian
Joined: 18 May 2004
Topics: 17
Posts: 3750
Location: Virginia
Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems
|
| Posted: Fri Dec 16, 2005 7:25 pm Post subject: |
|
|
Nice chapter. Few spelling errors spattered in some of the chapter, but other than that I totally agree with everyone else. Ouran is probably more experienced with dealing with these nasty parasites, so may as well get moving. 
_________________
Stories
New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice.
Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM)
Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words)
Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall.
-Confucius
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Message |
Chinaren
Hallowed IFian
Joined: 05 Sep 2005
Topics: 340
Posts: 8879
Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com
Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Message |
Alegria
Honored Citizen
Joined: 04 Mar 2005
Topics: 76
Posts: 1199
Location: On the beaches with Dr. Suess' Sneeches. Only the star-bellied ones, of course.
Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems
|
| Posted: Mon Dec 26, 2005 7:28 am Post subject: |
|
|
Hey everyone, Merry Christmas!!!!!!
_________________
A writer doesn't solve problems. He allows them to emerge.
-Friedrich Dürrenmatt
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Message |
Alegria
Honored Citizen
Joined: 04 Mar 2005
Topics: 76
Posts: 1199
Location: On the beaches with Dr. Suess' Sneeches. Only the star-bellied ones, of course.
Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems
|
| Posted: Wed Dec 28, 2005 8:26 am Post subject: |
|
|
We need more suggestions please.
_________________
A writer doesn't solve problems. He allows them to emerge.
-Friedrich Dürrenmatt
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Message |
ethereal_fauna
Perpetually Distracted
Joined: 16 Feb 2005
Topics: 58
Posts: 2567
Location: USA
Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems
|
| Posted: Wed Dec 28, 2005 8:43 am Post subject: |
|
|
I must say I agree with what has been offered so far. Run, and trust that Ouran can care for himself. Not very helpful in the varied suggestions dept.
_________________
The maker of a sentence launches out into the infinite and builds a road into Chaos and old Night, and is followed by those who hear him with something of wild, creative delight. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Message |
Smee
Revered IFian
Joined: 16 Oct 2004
Topics: 166
Posts: 5215
Location: UK
Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems
|
| Posted: Wed Dec 28, 2005 8:44 am Post subject: |
|
|
Sorry Alegria - no more ideas really.
It's just one of those situations where it's the only thing to do. She has no idea how to handle it, and Ouran probably can.
Forest Gump time. 
Happy Writing.
_________________
The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the Devil's own Satanic Herd!
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Message |
Alegria
Honored Citizen
Joined: 04 Mar 2005
Topics: 76
Posts: 1199
Location: On the beaches with Dr. Suess' Sneeches. Only the star-bellied ones, of course.
Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems
|
| Posted: Fri Dec 30, 2005 3:16 pm Post subject: |
|
|
Yes, but I'll probably put something of my own ideas, like I always do, in the poll. This time I really need to. I suggest she not only run, but run to the palace and try to get a palace guard. Maybe Ouran can ward of the parasite for long enough.
_________________
A writer doesn't solve problems. He allows them to emerge.
-Friedrich Dürrenmatt
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Message |
Ravenwing
Honorable IFian
Joined: 18 May 2004
Topics: 17
Posts: 3750
Location: Virginia
Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems
|
| Posted: Sun Jan 01, 2006 6:27 pm Post subject: |
|
|
How far are we from the palace? I am not criticizing you or anything, but as a suggestion for future decision points, you could add more information into your chapters, so that we readers have more to work off for suggestions. Like here, you could have told us approxiamately how far Alyssa and Ouran are from the palace. I guess, what I am saying is that you can set up the decision point better if you youself offer more information. We readers don't know what you that author has in mind. Write the chapter as if you were telling all the facts to somebody. Good luck on the next chapter! 
_________________
Stories
New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice.
Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM)
Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words)
Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall.
-Confucius
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Message |
Alegria
Honored Citizen
Joined: 04 Mar 2005
Topics: 76
Posts: 1199
Location: On the beaches with Dr. Suess' Sneeches. Only the star-bellied ones, of course.
Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems
|
| Posted: Mon Jan 02, 2006 7:51 am Post subject: |
|
|
Ok, thanks!
_________________
A writer doesn't solve problems. He allows them to emerge.
-Friedrich Dürrenmatt
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Message |
Ravenwing
Honorable IFian
Joined: 18 May 2004
Topics: 17
Posts: 3750
Location: Virginia
Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems
|
| Posted: Tue Jan 03, 2006 10:51 am Post subject: |
|
|
No problem. I am always willing to help a fellow writer.
_________________
Stories
New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice.
Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM)
Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words)
Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall.
-Confucius
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Message |
Alegria
Honored Citizen
Joined: 04 Mar 2005
Topics: 76
Posts: 1199
Location: On the beaches with Dr. Suess' Sneeches. Only the star-bellied ones, of course.
Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems
|
| Posted: Sun Jan 15, 2006 12:23 pm Post subject: |
|
|
Due to the author's (my) lack of detail, description, and everything else, which has led to a short-coming of suggestions, I have decided to make this a two part Chapter, look for the next part in February.
I will not make this mistake again. 
_________________
A writer doesn't solve problems. He allows them to emerge.
-Friedrich Dürrenmatt
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Message |
Ravenwing
Honorable IFian
Joined: 18 May 2004
Topics: 17
Posts: 3750
Location: Virginia
Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems
|
| Posted: Sun Jan 15, 2006 7:34 pm Post subject: |
|
|
Do not worry. All of us learn from mistakes. Can't wait for the second part next month.
_________________
Stories
New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice.
Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM)
Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words)
Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall.
-Confucius
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Message |
Alegria
Honored Citizen
Joined: 04 Mar 2005
Topics: 76
Posts: 1199
Location: On the beaches with Dr. Suess' Sneeches. Only the star-bellied ones, of course.
Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems
|
| Posted: Fri Jan 20, 2006 7:11 pm Post subject: |
|
|
OH, don't worry, this is where the story's REALLY going to pick up.
_________________
A writer doesn't solve problems. He allows them to emerge.
-Friedrich Dürrenmatt
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Message |
Ravenwing
Honorable IFian
Joined: 18 May 2004
Topics: 17
Posts: 3750
Location: Virginia
Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems
|
| Posted: Fri Jan 20, 2006 7:47 pm Post subject: |
|
|
Thats good to hear. *grabs a chair and plops self in it* First in line! *bites into an apple, and puts feet up* It's called resting, people.
_________________
Stories
New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice.
Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM)
Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words)
Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall.
-Confucius
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Message |
Alegria
Honored Citizen
Joined: 04 Mar 2005
Topics: 76
Posts: 1199
Location: On the beaches with Dr. Suess' Sneeches. Only the star-bellied ones, of course.
Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems
|
| Posted: Fri Feb 03, 2006 2:58 pm Post subject: |
|
|
Ok, I'm going to start writing the chapter as soon as I can!
_________________
A writer doesn't solve problems. He allows them to emerge.
-Friedrich Dürrenmatt
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 |
