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Alegria Honored Citizen
Joined: 04 Mar 2005 Topics: 76 Posts: 1199 Location: On the beaches with Dr. Suess' Sneeches. Only the star-bellied ones, of course. Items Legends
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Posted: Fri Apr 14, 2006 5:11 pm Post subject: A Glass Friendship:Prologue |
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A Glass Friendship
Prologue
There comes a certain time, my friend, when the things that are strenious at best finally break, and shatter, and all the resulting peices fly off and injure innumerable others. This tale, like many others of its type, did not happen in a night, a week, or even a year. This tale of mysery and woe happened throughout a lifetime.
It started on a bleak autumn day.
London, England. Early 1800s
James smiled. Yes, it was odd that he would smile, given his predicament. His family was very poor, there were simply too many children, and the house was in need of repair. Ever since father had died, it had been like this. On top of that, his family hadn't been able to get him a birthday present. But none of that mattered to him, James always found a reason to be happy. And this one was the best yet. After weeks of nothing but rain, the ground was finally dry enough to play outside in. or, at least, that's what he had told his mother. In reality he was jumping into a mud puddle and enjoying it immensely.
He had just gotten out of the puddle, and was beginning to wonder how he would ever explain this to his mother, when he noticed a figure walking up the road. As the figure drew near, he saw that it was a boy, not only that, but, judging by his clothes, a rich boy. But James was having a good time, and since he'd been taught to share, he called out to the boy.
"Hey, wanna come play in the mud with me?"
Oh, if only he had not let out that cry! The cry that started so much!
===============================================
The boy on the road happened to be Frederick Richardson. A very nice lad as boys go, but a little unstable at times. And he was very unhappy. His father refused to buy him a pony, which he wanted very much. Other than his pony issues, the boy had a perfect life. Yet, there he was, sulking and walking down the road. He sighed. He had promised that there would be no more fits, but he had just thrown one. And in front of Father and everything. He was supposed to have given up on fits by now. He was five, for goodness sakes! He was in the process of muttering things to himself that no five-year-old should know, when the boy's invitation reached him.
He paused for a moment, and then went up to meet the strange boy in the puddle.
===============================================
James saw the boy coming towards him, and that only hightened his joyous mood. He might make a new friend today! But the clothes were all wrong to play in the mud. No problem, the other boy was about as big as him. James, being James, would lend him some. Finally, the boy responded.
"Hello, I'm Frederick, who are you?"
James smiled. Frederick, what a long name! "I'm James, nice to meet you, want some mud?"
"No, James, I'm not in the right clothes to play in the mud." Freddy sighed, that mud looked awful fun, and he'd sure like to play in it, but Father would scold him.
"Well, Fredri... wow, that's a long name. Can I just call you Freddy?"
"If I can call you Jimmy."
"Ok, then. Anyways, I could lend you some clothes to change into so you won't have to walk home all muddy."
"Thank you. OK, then, watch out, I'm coming in!"
===============================================
Freddy, when he asked about Jimmy's history, was rewarded by Jimmy's entire life story. Among the two new friends, it seemed polite for Freddy to tell Jimmy his. After exchanging stories, there was silence for a while. Finally, it was Freddy who spoke.
"Wow, you've sure had a rough life, how are you so happy?"
"I don't know Freddy, I'm just happy."
And, all of the sudden, Frederick coveted Jame's happiness. Jimmy was his new best friend, but he now felt a new feeling toward him, somehow mixed in with his good feelings. It was loathing.
Freddy wanted to be happy, and he would do anything to be as happy as James. But, there was a problem. He'd tried being happy, but it hadn't worked out. Well then, if Frederick couldn't be happy, then he would just have to make James unhappy.
And, my friend,given enough time, he would do it by any means neccessary. _________________ A writer doesn't solve problems. He allows them to emerge.
-Friedrich Dürrenmatt
Last edited by Alegria on Mon Mar 05, 2007 1:46 pm; edited 18 times in total
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Diamons Guest
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Posted: Fri Apr 14, 2006 6:14 pm Post subject: |
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Excellent start Alegria. I love the way you depict the emotional thoughts of the characters, as if they existed. You show their motives very clearly, the reason for their anger, loathing.
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rlz Guest
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Posted: Fri Apr 14, 2006 6:53 pm Post subject: |
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Intersting story so far Alegria. A story about a spoiled rich kid making a poor kid unhappy. I hope that Freddy dies or something. I'm not poor, but I'm not rich, but I do think poor kids are much nicer than richer ones.
No offence, but the richer ones tend to be more spoiled, and the poorer ones, like James in your story, have a funfilled carefree life.
Last edited by rlz on Fri Apr 14, 2006 7:05 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Muaddib Comrade
Joined: 31 Dec 2004 Topics: 30 Posts: 1765
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Posted: Fri Apr 14, 2006 6:58 pm Post subject: |
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Very different Alegria!
More please.
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Ravenwing Honorable IFian
Joined: 18 May 2004 Topics: 17 Posts: 3750 Location: Virginia Items Legends
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Posted: Fri Apr 14, 2006 8:36 pm Post subject: |
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Definitely different from SJ. I would like to see what direction this story goes in. _________________ Stories
New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice.
Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM)
Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words)
Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall.
-Confucius
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Topics: 340 Posts: 8881 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends
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Posted: Fri Apr 14, 2006 11:28 pm Post subject: |
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Indeed 'Leggy. I liked this one a lot. Simple and straightforward characters (being 5 they would be of course) but many possibilities and very nicely written.
I eagerly await part 2, along with a decision point as well of course! _________________ Neil Hartley Books.
My Amazon page.
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Shady Stoat Elder
Joined: 02 Oct 2005 Topics: 76 Posts: 2950 Location: England Items Legends
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Posted: Sat Apr 15, 2006 12:09 am Post subject: |
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Yes, good stuff Alegria. You've drawn us in, now let's see what you can do with the rest of the story
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Kalanna Rai Assassin for Hire
Joined: 21 Jan 2006 Topics: 173 Posts: 3102 Location: The Frozen North Items Legends
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Posted: Sat Apr 15, 2006 12:20 am Post subject: |
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The Prince and the Pauper eh? Well only without the whole two nice boy's get mistaken for each other...
However I can already picture the lifetime of woe so please fill out the details for me... _________________ "It's not just about living forever...the trick is living with yourself forever..."
"Music makes you braver."
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Solomon Birch Honored Citizen
Joined: 22 Nov 2005 Topics: 18 Posts: 1562 Location: England..... but Japan beckons..... Items Legends
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Posted: Sat Apr 15, 2006 1:27 am Post subject: |
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Kiddiwinkles in the mud! Heh...
Good start Alegria, just a couple of niggles:
Quote: | the ground was finally dry enough to play outside in |
I don't think you need this.
Quote: | coveted Jame's happiness |
This should be James'.
Quote: | my friend,given enough |
There should be a space after the comma, before given.
A promising start. I'm looking forward to seeing the story progress, and as you say it covers a lifetime, then maybe we follow the life of one or both of these boys, which should be interesting.
*holds breath* _________________ "Humankind cannot stand too much reality" - T.S. Elliot
Thesopholis - A Noir Sci-Fi Story - Chapter 8 is up! Read it here
The End of the Voyage - Chapter 9
Shady the Furry Goblin! [Demon's, Satan and Slobadan Milosevic!] - Chapter 3
The Quest for the Legendary Rubber-Duckie! - Chapter 3
One Last Bullet.... Chapter 3
Green Eyes - Chapter 5
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Alegria Honored Citizen
Joined: 04 Mar 2005 Topics: 76 Posts: 1199 Location: On the beaches with Dr. Suess' Sneeches. Only the star-bellied ones, of course. Items Legends
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Posted: Sat Apr 15, 2006 5:44 am Post subject: |
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Well I'm glad you like it.
There's no descision point because it's only the prolougue. I just wanted to see what people thought and I'll write the first chapter soon. _________________ A writer doesn't solve problems. He allows them to emerge.
-Friedrich Dürrenmatt
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Muaddib Comrade
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Posted: Sat Apr 15, 2006 8:37 am Post subject: |
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*mutters about previews in wrong forums, but controls himself*
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Alegria Honored Citizen
Joined: 04 Mar 2005 Topics: 76 Posts: 1199 Location: On the beaches with Dr. Suess' Sneeches. Only the star-bellied ones, of course. Items Legends
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Posted: Sun Apr 16, 2006 3:20 pm Post subject: |
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Stop muttering Muaddib, i'm just a terrible person. _________________ A writer doesn't solve problems. He allows them to emerge.
-Friedrich Dürrenmatt
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Ravenwing Honorable IFian
Joined: 18 May 2004 Topics: 17 Posts: 3750 Location: Virginia Items Legends
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Posted: Sun Apr 16, 2006 8:16 pm Post subject: |
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Ah, don't worry about McDibsky, he's just being nitpicky. Something about stories stewing in the Previews forum so that they can develop better before being formally introduced into the Storygame forums. _________________ Stories
New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice.
Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM)
Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words)
Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall.
-Confucius
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Ravenwing Honorable IFian
Joined: 18 May 2004 Topics: 17 Posts: 3750 Location: Virginia Items Legends
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Posted: Sun Apr 16, 2006 8:54 pm Post subject: |
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Well you're not going all crazy here like Muaddib and advocating for it in nearly every new storygame. Thankfully. LOL. _________________ Stories
New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice.
Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM)
Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words)
Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall.
-Confucius
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Topics: 340 Posts: 8881 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends
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Posted: Sun Apr 16, 2006 9:00 pm Post subject: |
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I think putting them in the Previews thread is a good idea for newcomers and stories with no DP. I don't think everyone should be made to start there.
I said my piece in the Election thread. _________________ Neil Hartley Books.
My Amazon page.
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Ravenwing Honorable IFian
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Posted: Sun Apr 16, 2006 9:22 pm Post subject: |
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*sighs* I am not against the idea at all. I think I said something about it in another thread. It's just advocating for it is totally different from taking action. If I say anymore, I am going to go off and make a giant rant. _________________ Stories
New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice.
Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM)
Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words)
Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall.
-Confucius
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Posted: Sun Apr 16, 2006 11:22 pm Post subject: |
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Quote: | I am going to go off and make a giant rant. |
Oooh, go on! I haven't seen a Ravey rant! _________________ Neil Hartley Books.
My Amazon page.
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Muaddib Comrade
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Posted: Sun Apr 16, 2006 11:24 pm Post subject: |
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I've been told to curb my enthusisam till the new mayor arrives. Then I plan to inundate the poor soul with proposals.
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Topics: 340 Posts: 8881 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends
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Posted: Sun Apr 16, 2006 11:31 pm Post subject: |
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Muaddib wrote: | I've been told to curb my enthusisam till the new mayor arrives. Then I plan to inundate the poor soul with proposals. |
LOL! Well, I am just glad I am not winning!
Mind you McDibsky, even though you didn't vote for me I agree with your forum idea. I would also be happy to help out as a mod in it if this idea takes off. _________________ Neil Hartley Books.
My Amazon page.
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Muaddib Comrade
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Posted: Sun Apr 16, 2006 11:40 pm Post subject: |
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Damn you found out.
Would you believe I chose Smee over you simply because he's a senior member? You both seemed equally 'receptive' and qualified, but I had to make a choice right?
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Topics: 340 Posts: 8881 Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com Items Legends
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Posted: Sun Apr 16, 2006 11:54 pm Post subject: |
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Hehe. Don't you worry about it my red friend. I will be happy to see Smee take the role. His ideas (mostly) run alongside mine anyway.
Actually, I think the difference in all of our ideas are minimal. _________________ Neil Hartley Books.
My Amazon page.
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Ravenwing Honorable IFian
Joined: 18 May 2004 Topics: 17 Posts: 3750 Location: Virginia Items Legends
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Posted: Mon Apr 17, 2006 4:47 am Post subject: |
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chinaren wrote: | Quote: | I am going to go off and make a giant rant. |
Oooh, go on! I haven't seen a Ravey rant! |
You don't want to see me rant. My language turns more of into Saxon's once I get started. Anyways, it was more out of frustration due to some people's denseness. _________________ Stories
New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice.
Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM)
Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words)
Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall.
-Confucius
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Alegria Honored Citizen
Joined: 04 Mar 2005 Topics: 76 Posts: 1199 Location: On the beaches with Dr. Suess' Sneeches. Only the star-bellied ones, of course. Items Legends
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Posted: Fri Apr 21, 2006 1:11 pm Post subject: |
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Of course, here we all share ideas and thoughts, it's like we aren't so much a city as a huge family. _________________ A writer doesn't solve problems. He allows them to emerge.
-Friedrich Dürrenmatt
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Ravenwing Honorable IFian
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Posted: Fri Apr 21, 2006 3:35 pm Post subject: |
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Family? If we we are a family, I would just say that we would make for a very odd bunch. Like the Royal Tenenbaums. _________________ Stories
New Story: Glassbreaker Presently on Hiatus until further notice.
Truthseeker (Completed SGOTM)
Samadhi Traveler 2005 Nano Wrimo winner (53,019 words)
Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall.
-Confucius
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You cannot post new topics in this forum You cannot reply to topics in this forum You cannot edit your posts in this forum You cannot delete your posts in this forum You cannot vote in polls in this forum
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