Search      Members      Groups      Profile      Favorites      RSS      Register      Log in
Chapter 7- Premonition

 
(currently a favorite of 0 users)
   Storygames Home -> Stasis Hall - Completed or archived Storygames -> Confession Box - COMPLETE
View previous topic :: View next topic  

Author Message
D-Lotus
Venerable IFian



Joined: 21 Oct 2004
Topics: 103
Posts: 4123
Location: Hollywood, USA

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Tue Jan 09, 2007 11:49 pm    Post subject: Chapter 7- Premonition Reply with quote

Dedications: To Rafa Nadal, to the Christmas break, to William Trevor (even if he ain't such a good writer), to George Lucas and to whomever created the 40 year-old virgin. And thanks to Van Gogh for the painting at the bottom. Hope for good final grades.


Storygame process: Read the story, and then based on the character's personality, suggest what he/she should do. When all suggestions have been given, the author (me) will post a poll. You must vote for your favorite option on the poll, and based on that decision, the author will write the next chapter as it affects the story.


Chapter 7

Part A



"Catholic priests, my good sirs, are a dying race."

The amused faces of smiling men surrounded Phineus and spurred him to complete his argument.

"Don't laugh, I'm not lying." Phineus said, and then as a jest, he began to chuckle in contradiction to his own appeal. The others joined him, breaking into laughter. "You know what gets me the most?" he asked his expectative crowd once the laughter had died down.

"What?" asked Andy comfortably, puffing on his cigar.

"Celibacy!" Phineus said, scornfully spitting out the word as if he supposed it to be a poisonous substance.

"I think it a noble cause." said a young man, his face obscured by the curling cigar smoke and dim lighting. Phineus turned his stare towards the man.

"A noble cause, maybe. But it is a futile martyrdom." He finished his drink and poured himself another from a bottle on the table. Then he reclined in his armchair leisurely amid the silence of the congregation.

"Let me explain. According to the Bible, wasn't Man created in God's image? Therefore, isn't it our purpose to act as men in order to best honor God? Isn't it then artificial to constrain oneself from the natural order of nature and God's power by maintaining to celibacy? And further, by abstaining from the natural order of God, aren't these religious men claiming to be above the others affected by it?" He paused, his face screwing up in distaste.

"The priestly caste are seeking to become as approximately identical to God as they can by acting superior to other men. Don't fool yourself, they are power-hungry fools in search of perfection- and all untrustworthy."

"Then why futile? Becoming God seems a good objective to me." laughed another man, and a merry chorus echoed him. Phineus smiled and nodded, acknowledging the man's wit.

"I'll tell you why," joined another young man, rashly encouraged by the conversation "Because there's no God!"

A deep, fearful silence inundated the room. The men looked at each other warily and the man who had spoken suddenly realized his mistake, and began picking at his linen sleeves. There was still not enough courage among them to accept that statement. Not even Phineus did completely abolish the divine, for he believed in his strange gods.

"No," stated Phineus, taking word again, "I was thinking of something else. Futility, firstly, because even if there was God, men could never achieve his perfection, and less so by hiding the characteristic that makes them men. Secondly, because Catholic priests, as I said, are a dying breed. Every year, progress, education, and the modern world convince men that priesthood is a ridiculous profession. These are no longer the Middle Ages- men can learn to read and write without needing to become monks. And now we begin to realize how much the Church has fooled us, and how corrupt they really are. The world is slowly facing the Church at eye level, and we see now their true features. If they stick to their vows, they are vain fools, and if they infringe on them, they are doubly so!"

Finally, the tension was loosened with this statement, and the men laughed once more, joyful in accord with the occasion.



"Ah, let's stop talking of priests." cried Andy, waving his hand in the air to dispel their memory from around him. He had recently conceded to allowing his daughter to quit the convent, if only to sever his last connection to the Church. The only reason he hadn't done so earlier was because it had been Devine who had insisted upon her release.

"Let's talk about art, then." said a man wearing a ruffled shirt under a waistcoat, a prosperous carpenter.

"Art!" cried Phineus, "how I love art because of what it does to the artist."

"And what's that?" asked a puzzled man, one of the wealthy farmers who knew little besides his own trade, yet was eager to employ his money for the purpose of being installed among present company.

"It magnifies his perception of beauty." quickly answered Phineus, as if he were speaking a line from a well-memorized poem. "An artist's eye contemplates for many hours, or even days. Through inspecting and watching so much, it is inevitable that his understanding of the object being studied naturally and progressively renders itself beautiful." Phineus smiled.

"Imagine," he continued after pausing for an example, "imagine a grey wall. To you, and to me, it is featureless and bleak, but to an artist it is perfect. He observes the wall and finds the smallest details, the tiniest imperfections, and then he stares at it again as a whole, as a part of the essence of the world. The wall, he concludes, is perfect and beautiful beyond what he could have imagined when he first glimpsed at it. The artist's eye becomes trained to love the subject of his work, and every time he looks at it he admires it more. It is a sensation of love and affiliation towards his model."

"I was going to take my wife to a painter for a portrait, but I'm not so sure anymore." Andy said a while later, after the moment of silence and romanticism that had ensued form Phineus' statement. The men laughed once more- and the laughter slowly wafted its way into the kitchen, where an assortment of women were having their own conversation.

"Really, I don't understand how these men can talk that way." a woman said. She opened the kitchen door and peeked towards her husband disdainfully.

"There's no fear of God." Alice said, clenching her jaws while boiling some water for tea.

"And even if they isn't, there's no need to be laughing at people like Father Devine." Abigail said earnestly. She was wearing her old clothes, and her blond curls spread freely around her neck.

"You should be at the convent but that your father didn't have this strange fancy." Alice said, turning on her daughter. Her voice was sharp and scratching, and Abigail detected her mother's anger in her voice. Lately the house had become some sort of battleground, although her father hadn't realized yet. Every detail was a chance for her mother's new attack. She always slowly maneuvered her arguments towards respectability and God. Any alcohol he drank she commented about, corrupting it like a desperate army poisons the water supply. Her father, who had always considered himself an authoritative figure in his own household and beyond, was baffled by her stratagems. Andy's only response became recurrent.

"By God, woman!" and then he'd say no more, no matter how much she'd yell, rant, or connive. It became a derisory answer to Alice, and perhaps it was. In those few words, Andy pinpointed her whole strategy, robbed it of it's prideful red-coat, and lay it wounded to death on the hard ground of the battlefield. And yet, Andy gave the impression that if Alice wrote him a message on the salt cellar, he wouldn't understand. In fact, he'd probably ask for the pepper grinder at lunch, and drive Alice mad with rage. He ignored her as if he unconsciously knew something more than her. There was nothing Abigail's mother could do but blame her woes and dropping respectability on Phineus, who soon became the object of her spite. Andy had set him up a small study near his house, and Alice refused even to walk by.

There was, perhaps, something different about Alice that was pushing her towards her attempt to convert her husband and her contempt for Phineus. Abigail could detect the surface of some sort of inner turmoil, something beyond decorum. Her mother was raising the flags and marching to protect her womanly dignity. It scared Abigail to see to what measures her mother could resort.

"God will forgive them all, Alice. Don't worry, He'll find some way to straighten them out." said the wife of a farmer, reaching over towards the plate of cookies to satisfy her gluttony yet again. She smiled gapingly.

"I hope so." sighed Alice, relaxing her complexion. "But a woman's help never hurt." She turned her glance towards another brew contemplatively while tossing an apple in her hand.

"Can anyone pass me the pepper?" she asked.
**








Part B


As Devine stood amid the checkered kitchen tiles, lost in contemplation, the weak voice of his conscience weeded its way through his mind, arguing him. What right had he to scold and punish? A memory of his days as a deacon suddenly struck at him, shooting out from within the spaces of black-and-white tiles. If you catch your brother in a fault, go to him in the spirit of meekness, lest you also be tempted. Devine eyed Dole while biting his bottom lip. Of a sudden, his anger had cooled, and his good nature had taken over. He sighed, smiling weakly.

"Father Dole, do you mind if I have a word with you in private?" Devine asked. Dole's eyes immediately transmitted the understanding of Devine's motives and got up to follow Devine into the hallway. Father Turner smiled at both of them, and then as soon as the door closed, he neared and pressed his ear against it.

"Father Devine," Dole began to say in his defense, his earnest face reddening with the effort of explaining himself, "I wish to say that I believe Mick Rennold is innocent. I know you may object, but I cannot stand by and let an innocent man be judged guilty." Dole had obviously prepared himself for Devine's reprimand. Devine only smiled and nodded.

"I believe Mick innocent as well." He caressed the wall of the corridor as he spoke. "I myself would do almost anything to see him free." Then Devine leveled his eyes on Dole's and his face transformed into a caricature of seriousness. The dim light-bulb illuminating the corridor above them suddenly burst into its full power, flashing everything with iridescent light. Dole looked up, but the power in Devine's eyes compelled him to descend into the aging priest's deep black pupils again.

"I will now humble myself to you, Dole." Devine said frankly, and Dole remained speechless, held by Devine's eyes. "I myself have been conducting an unlicensed investigation to save Mick- I have hidden behind a costume and blended among the marginal in The Golden Duck in hopes of attaining information. And I would trade my soul to the Devil in exchange for Mick's. Believe me, Dole, I'm trying to save him as much as you." Dole only stood, numbed at the emotion in Devine's words.

Finally, Devine's eyes looked at the corridor wall, as if seeing through it, beyond it's encroaching narrowness towards the freedom outside.

"Dole- I'll free him. Damn it, I'll do it. You have to trust me. I'm sorry to say that your method could get you into trouble- for your own sake you should cease. Trust in me, Father." Devine spoke as if rejuvenated, with a strength he had never felt before. Dole nodded once in assent, and once again by surprise, the light bulb above them surged in vivacity before shimmering down to its previous dimness. Devine felt slightly tired again, and he turned his sight towards the door. There was the sound of scurrying in the kitchen, as if Turner, eavesdropping on the conversation, had felt Devine's eyes and the immense power that had mesmerized Father Dole. Dole opened the door to the kitchen, where Turner sat eating his food placidly.

"Have a nice chat?" Turner asked innocently, smiling.
**

Devine walked through the hallway flanked by cold iron bars and dirty faces staring through him. The stretch was empty of sound except for the occasional shouts of the prisoners and the clicking heels of the guard's boots. The silence reminded Devine of the ocean, rumbling like a wave that crashes and then retracts into the sea. Hands shot out from behind the bars, waving and gesturing like algae on rocks. The guard pulled out his keys and began jangling them while hitting the bars of any noisy prisoner with a stick as he passed. Finally, he stopped and turned his key into a lock of one of the prison cells. He swung the cell door open and Devine walked inside. Then the guard closed and locked the door, leaving Devine alone with the inhabitant of the cell.

"Fifteen minutes." he said, vanishing down the hallway. Devine felt a cold shiver run down him as he contemplated the locked door and bars. then he turned towards the bunk.

"Mick?" he called dubitatively. A figure suddenly incorporated itself from the bunk, and Mick's hungry face emerged from the shadows.

"Father Devine. I knew you'd come help me."

"You're right." Devine said, sitting on a bench opposite. "But allow me to be straightforward Mick; you're going to hang by the gallows."

As much as Devine wished to comfort Mick, he must face him with the facts. He also had to ascertain the validity of Mick's innocence. Devine had an intense feeling that he would know the truth when the it was revealed to him.

"But I'm innocent, Father." said Mick, biting his thumb.

"I believe you, Mick. Unfortunately, the judge won't; they think they've got enough evidence against you."

"I didn't do anything. How could I kill Debbie?"

"Mick, why did you run away from the monastery?" asked Devine. Mick cast his eyes down.

"I'm sorry Father, its just I couldn't take the austerity. I wanted to make a new life for myself, free from everything. I decided to run away to America, leave everything behind me. I guess I just picked the wrong moment. Bad luck, that's all I've had in my life. They arrested me when I'd almost boarded. They thought I was trying to flee my crime."

"Isn't there anyone that can testify where you were the night of the murder?" asked Devine.

"I don't think so. I slept on the road that night, and I didn't reach any town until the next morning." He slapped his fist into his hand angrily. "Damn!"

"Mick, there's only one hope left for you, do you understand?" Devine said sadly.

"Which one, Father?" Mick asked, his eyes clouding with tears. Something at that moment informed Devine that Mick was truly innocent. It was a sense beyond the five senses- something he'd only experienced before in glimpses, but he knew it to be the truth.

"That the real murderer is found before you hang." Devine stated gravely, setting his eyes beyond the cell.

**

Later that afternoon, after returning from jail, Devine was walking side by side with Tim, the town mayor. He was a sinewy man with slender fingers and an athletic body. His complexion was soft and understanding, and he was also an intelligent man who loved to listen. His only fault was attempting to please everybody at the same time, which sometimes made him somewhat multi-faceted and convoluted, but he was a good man in all other respects, and even this could be blamed on his office position.



They were walking down the street, speaking about Devine's visit to the jail, and Devine's 'premonition', or sense of Mick's innocence.

"I'm afraid most of the town doesn't share your outlook, Father. They've accepted Mick's guilt as an undeniable fact, and although they don't begrudge him his act, they regard his life in the same way they did hers. In fact, I'd dare say the town has already partly forgotten about poor Mick." Tim said.

They were strolling through the cobbled streets, but then had detached themselves into a rutty path for horses and pedestrians. They were gazing at one of the uneven stone walls that surrounded and protected a house and it's garden. A tall apple tree overlooked the wall and a shed incorporated into the facade at the corner. Another orange tree leaned slightly onto the mossy red roof tiles of another house. As they turned the corner, a man walking solitarily came into view. As he approached them, Devine recognized him as Andy. He too, spotted Devine, but continued in his pathway, for it would have been too evident if he turned back in the middle of the empty route. It wasn't that he cared, only that he wouldn't want to appear scared.

"Hello, Andy!" Tim shouted, "Care to join us on a stroll?"

Devine greeted him, but Andy didn't respond. Instead, he addressed Tim.

"I'm sorry, Tim, but I really must run along." He didn't smile or pretend to be in a hurry.

"That's too bad," Tim said, then without stopping, "We were talking about Debbie's murder."

"Ah." Andy said. Still, he avoided all eye-contact with Devine. As if he were afraid Devine's gaze would strip him of some secret. An apple dropped from the tree above them and exploded on the ground, pieces of rotten apple spraying against the wall.

"What do you think about it?" Tim asked teasingly. He and Andy had been friends in their youth. For the first time, Andy turned his eyes towards Devine arrogantly, challengingly.

"Mick Rennold killed his wife with a Colt, didn't he?" He directed the statement at Devine.

"Why no," answered Tim, considerably surprised. "It was a Smith & Wesson gun. Haven't you read the article in the papers?"

"Well, goodbye Tim, I have to go." Andy answered curtly, and departed without acknowledging Devine.

"Funny," commented Tim, "I thought the whole village had memorized that article. My wife certainly did; she repeated it often, like a chant. Andy must really be oblivious to town happenings."

He's trying to throw me off, thought Devine. It's obvious he's trying to throw me off. He could feel it in his soul. It had been as when he sat in the cell, contemplating Mick, or when he had spoken to Dole. Some power had lifted him in its wave of truth and unveiled it to him. He could feel Andy's heart, accelerating as his lips formed the words to trick Devine. He could smell the odor of a lie emanating from its source. Andy's pretense of thinking Debbie had been shot with a Colt was only a clumsy attempt to throw Devine off of his track- yet Devine had never suspected him until now.

What would a detective do when he had a hunch? Follow it. But how could Devine approach Andy or find out anything about him? Somehow, he had to infiltrate. But how to infiltrate into a the life a man who is guarded by men intent on keeping him out? How could Devine penetrate the circle of impenetrable Church-haters who surrounded Andy? Was it possible that Devine could join them- but how? Having read some detective novels, Devine quickly brainstormed a few ways he could achieve his purpose.

Firstly, he could disguise himself as he had in the Golden Duck, but that seemed extremely risky and almost impossible. Secondly, he could convince someone inside the circle to work with him and act as a mole- a risky option as well, as many things could go wrong. Lastly, was perhaps the riskiest option of all: he could completely change his reputation through the means of a scandal, or pretending to quit his priesthood, and openly become one of Andy's friends. A reversal of character to convince Andy of his truthfulness. Was he ready to commit to something like that, even with a superior's approval? Yes, Devine knew he would attempt anything in order to save an innocent man's life. Was there any other ways?

_________________
Chapter 5: The Rendezvous


Last edited by D-Lotus on Tue Jan 23, 2007 6:20 pm; edited 6 times in total
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author Message
JezSharp
Respected Citizen



Joined: 18 Jul 2006
Topics: 31
Posts: 592
Location: The middle of anywhere...

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Wed Jan 10, 2007 3:53 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well he could talk to Andy's family and ascertain strange behavior, visitors who have been to see him recently etc. Good Chapter and congrats on the SGotM - btw did you draw that picture? If so it's very good (but you may want to resize it because its making it fairly hard to read the sg).
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Yahoo Messenger
Author Message
D-Lotus
Venerable IFian



Joined: 21 Oct 2004
Topics: 103
Posts: 4123
Location: Hollywood, USA

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Wed Jan 10, 2007 6:42 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yes, unfortunately it does expand the page, but I have little clue as to how to resize it without having to save it and then using photobucket. But I'll try.

And lol, no, that's not my painting. It's Vincent Van Gogh. Very Happy Maybe next time I'll draw something.

And yes, speaking to to Andy's family is a good suggestion- maybe they could even be moles?
_________________
Chapter 5: The Rendezvous
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author Message
Masterweaver
Honored Citizen



Joined: 21 Nov 2006
Topics: 13
Posts: 1463
Location: Look around

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Wed Jan 10, 2007 6:55 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

He would do...anything?

Hmmm....

Does anything include enslaving oneself to one's sworn enemy?
_________________
Sarothen, Mesoli, Gerastro
/\___/\
(0)-_-(0)
| |
\//\\/ ?
| \ |
| ||| \ /
|,||| ,|| \/
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author Message
LordoftheNight
Revered IFian



Joined: 11 Aug 2005
Topics: 41
Posts: 5276
Location: Hell

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Wed Jan 10, 2007 7:16 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Just a suggestion for later. If Devine (and his name cracks me up everytime) can't find the real killer, would he offer himself to set Mick free? He's already said he would sell his soul to get him off, so it could be an idea if all else fails.
_________________
Punishment leads to Fear. Fear leads to Obedience. Obedience leads to Freedom. Therefore, Punishment leads to Freedom.
Ave Dominus Nox


A Fronte Praecipitium a Tergo Lupi
Blood Bowl
Scraping the Barrel
A Tale of Four Swords
Passion
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website
Author Message
D-Lotus
Venerable IFian



Joined: 21 Oct 2004
Topics: 103
Posts: 4123
Location: Hollywood, USA

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Wed Jan 10, 2007 8:56 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm sorry, but I don't think I understand. The court wants to hang who they think is the guilty man- why would they want Devine's life?

Actually, Devine is a real name- Irish. I found it while reading through a collection of short stories by Frank O'Connor, an excellent writer.

And yay, I figured out how to resize the Van Gogh picture! Very Happy
_________________
Chapter 5: The Rendezvous
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author Message
Kalanna Rai
Assassin for Hire



Joined: 21 Jan 2006
Topics: 173
Posts: 3102
Location: The Frozen North

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Wed Jan 10, 2007 10:48 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I say Andy needs a good talking to. If not by a priest then by another caring source.
_________________
"It's not just about living forever...the trick is living with yourself forever..."

"Music makes you braver."
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author Message
DukeReg
Citizen



Joined: 12 Oct 2005
Topics: 4
Posts: 287
Location: Australia

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Thu Jan 11, 2007 3:07 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

D-Lotus wrote:
I'm sorry, but I don't think I understand. The court wants to hang who they think is the guilty man- why would they want Devine's life?

I think the suggestion was that Devine confess to the crime.

Personally I think the mole option is the best of those presented, but finding out how the rest of the family is aligned in relation to the church would make sense.
_________________
Duke Reg

Completed SGs:
Tempting Fate
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author Message
Lebrenth
Honored Citizen



Joined: 29 Dec 2005
Topics: 43
Posts: 1484
Location: Utah

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Thu Jan 11, 2007 10:16 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Nice chapter, D. The premonitions and omens are unexpected but I think they can fit in with the rest of the story. The comment about trading his soul to the devil was quite alarming and unexpected. It will become more than a figure of speech if Devine isn't careful.

I have to thank you for Phineas' observation of the effects of art on the artist. I'll be thinking on that. Is it yours or did you glean it from someone else?

The scandal sounds delightfully exciting, but rather impractical. It would ruin Devine's life and ake him appear more of a hypocrit than a reasonable man. It would be much more appropriate to have a contemplative retreat from his religion.

My suggestion is that he really buddies up with Phineas. That man loves to talk, and if Devine was attentive and flattering, he might make friends with him. He would have to join in the church-bashing after a time, but if he succeeded, he would have a powerful ally. Andy trusts Phineas in spite of his wife and anyone's opinion. If Phineas liked Devine enough to stick up for him, Andy could be persuaded.

If needs be, Devine could have that gentle departure from the church, which would be more appropriate anyway. Devine's actions are not befitting his own ideal for a man of the cloth. The wisest course of action would be of patience and moderation, but since it is boring and Devine is determined to intervene, let's not.

_________________

Welcome To Purgatory - current storygame
Please visit my Library of completed works.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail
Author Message
D-Lotus
Venerable IFian



Joined: 21 Oct 2004
Topics: 103
Posts: 4123
Location: Hollywood, USA

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Thu Jan 11, 2007 4:07 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks for the comments and critiques, everyone.

Quote:
I have to thank you for Phineas' observation of the effects of art on the artist. I'll be thinking on that. Is it yours or did you glean it from someone else?


I gained the perception while I myself was involved in drawing- although it relates to writing as well. Completely original, I hope, although there's likely to be someone who has thought of it before me.

Quote:
The comment about trading his soul to the devil was quite alarming and unexpected.


I only added that so as to stress the level of Devine's willingness to save Mick- I should be more careful next time.

Quote:
The scandal sounds delightfully exciting, but rather impractical.


Wether his reputation shall be sacrificed for Mick is of little concern- yet your suggestion is appropriate. A quiet retreat is an option. So is talking to Andy's family/ getting them to mole. Falsely confessing to the crime is too; although I cannot advise you on its effect, as it may be more of a turn than you expect. Wink

Quote:
Devine's actions are not befitting his own ideal for a man of the cloth.


Well, he is trying to save an innocent man. In the next chapter, I will captalize more on his behavior as a 'mission of God'- or do you think I am overdoing it with all this supernatural stuff?

Quote:
"But a woman's help never hurt." She turned her glance towards another brew contemplatively while tossing an apple in her hand.


Did anybody note the presence of an apple- the fruit of evil- in this statement? Wink
_________________
Chapter 5: The Rendezvous
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author Message
Lebrenth
Honored Citizen



Joined: 29 Dec 2005
Topics: 43
Posts: 1484
Location: Utah

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Thu Jan 11, 2007 9:51 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

And again later, a rotten one. I noticed. Of course, even if I took that as a pointed clue, Devine knows nothing about it anymore than he knows about Turner's furtive activities.
_________________

Welcome To Purgatory - current storygame
Please visit my Library of completed works.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail
Author Message
D-Lotus
Venerable IFian



Joined: 21 Oct 2004
Topics: 103
Posts: 4123
Location: Hollywood, USA

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Mon Jan 15, 2007 9:53 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Options so far

- Talk to Andy's family/ try to make them moles.
- Confess to the crime to save Mick.
- Create a scandal to change your reputation and be accepted into Andy's confidence.*
- Quietly retire from priesthood to gain Phineus' confidence and therefore gain Andy's.*
- Enslave himself to his enemy. (Yes, I respect your opinion, Masterweaver).

*- In both cases, Devine would pretend; he'd return to priesthood once his mission had come to a conclusion.

Anything else?
_________________
Chapter 5: The Rendezvous
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author Message
Mother Goose
Respected Citizen



Joined: 09 May 2004
Topics: 2
Posts: 511
Location: Connecticut

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Wed Jan 17, 2007 6:09 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

A lot of these options seem to focus on Andy. Is he the key to the whole thing?

What about the scrap of paper from the victim's hand? Devine thought he had seen something like that color; maybe he could follow that up. Or talk to other people - Andy's family, Phineus as Lebby said, even Jeannie might have noticed something in her mother's life that could be significant. Everybody in the village must have an opinion, and some of them may have useful information.

I don't think Devine would pretend a loss of faith. That would scandalize his flock and leave them without his services for whatever time it took (he could justify it to himself, I suppose, as leaving the 99 in the desert to search out the lost sheep), and it seems a dereliction of duty. I do agree that saving an innocent man from hanging is certainly not inconsistent with a priest's calling, but there are other ways to investigate.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author Message
D-Lotus
Venerable IFian



Joined: 21 Oct 2004
Topics: 103
Posts: 4123
Location: Hollywood, USA

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Wed Jan 17, 2007 3:52 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks, Mother Goose, that helped me. Great thinking about the 99 sheep.Smile

Quote:
A lot of these options seem to focus on Andy. Is he the key to the whole thing?


Maybe I'm only misdirecting you so that you'll be surprised when you find out who the murderer is.

I will interpret your suggestion as:

Conduct a comprehensive investigation before attempting anything.
_________________
Chapter 5: The Rendezvous
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author Message
Smudger
Citizen



Joined: 11 Jul 2006
Topics: 4
Posts: 382
Location: Writers Block R Us

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Wed Jan 17, 2007 4:34 pm    Post subject: re Reply with quote

I firmly believe that Devine should try and infiltrate Andy's circle of protectors. Maybe the one that spoke up first of all about priests being good and honest. He needs a sympathetic Catholic who will bend to Devine's persuasion.

Smudger
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message MSN Messenger
Author Message
Geek_girl72
Respected Citizen



Joined: 19 Jul 2005
Topics: 31
Posts: 810
Location: Earth, The Universe

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Thu Jan 18, 2007 10:00 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Got an idea, and Devine doesn't have to fake anything. Phineus is into greek philosophy and stuff, so he should take Socrates' method and engage himin a debate with the 'I'm not sure I understand you, please explain to me so I can judge what is true' attitude. He shoudl use the socratic method and ask questions to figure out what's going on with Andy and also show weaknesses in Phineus' ideas. If he does it right, Phineus won't be mad becasue he's using the methods of an infueltial philosopher and might even come to respect him without either changing their stances.
_________________
"My candle burns at both its ends, it will not last the night;
But ah, my foes, and oh, my friends, it gives a lovely light!"
-Edna St. Vincent Millay

Whodunnit?On hold till further notice
I Don't Believe in Fate: Chapter 13 is now released
Lost n' Spacey On hold till Further Notice

(\__/)
(='.'=)This is Bunny. Copy and paste Bunny
(")_(")into your signature to help him gain world domination.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author Message
D-Lotus
Venerable IFian



Joined: 21 Oct 2004
Topics: 103
Posts: 4123
Location: Hollywood, USA

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Thu Jan 18, 2007 4:52 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Wow, now I have too many ideas. Smile

Last call for suggestions. The poll will go up on the 19/01 Pacific Time.
_________________
Chapter 5: The Rendezvous
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author Message
D-Lotus
Venerable IFian



Joined: 21 Oct 2004
Topics: 103
Posts: 4123
Location: Hollywood, USA

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Sat Jan 20, 2007 9:00 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Poll is up.

Options A and B will be combined, because they are basically the same concept, and if they win, the one with the highest number of votes of the two will go through.

Happy Voting. Very Happy
_________________
Chapter 5: The Rendezvous
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author Message
D-Lotus
Venerable IFian



Joined: 21 Oct 2004
Topics: 103
Posts: 4123
Location: Hollywood, USA

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Mon Jan 22, 2007 11:03 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Is it unethical for the author to state his own favorite option? Would it change anyone's vote?

I'm just asking out of curiosity, I won't do that, even if the votes are going 'wrong'. Wink
_________________
Chapter 5: The Rendezvous
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author Message
Geek_girl72
Respected Citizen



Joined: 19 Jul 2005
Topics: 31
Posts: 810
Location: Earth, The Universe

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Tue Jan 23, 2007 8:56 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Voted for my own suggestion, the socratic debate, 'cuase I'm concieted that way Wink

I don't think it's unethical at all to state your favorite option, it is your story and you know more than the rest of us about the characters and where we are headed.
_________________
"My candle burns at both its ends, it will not last the night;
But ah, my foes, and oh, my friends, it gives a lovely light!"
-Edna St. Vincent Millay

Whodunnit?On hold till further notice
I Don't Believe in Fate: Chapter 13 is now released
Lost n' Spacey On hold till Further Notice

(\__/)
(='.'=)This is Bunny. Copy and paste Bunny
(")_(")into your signature to help him gain world domination.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author Message
ethereal_fauna
Perpetually Distracted



Joined: 16 Feb 2005
Topics: 58
Posts: 2567
Location: USA

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Tue Jan 23, 2007 10:23 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Wonderful story D...has certainly captured my interest. The characters are detailed, involving and personable, and the storyline is great.

All that aside, our priest seems intent on investing self in this investigation. He's a simple man in a small community, and recent circumstance has disrupted normal life.

He'll take a small break in religious duties. He's two capable counterparts to care for the church, and can rest on his years of faithful service and advancing age.

_________________
The maker of a sentence launches out into the infinite and builds a road into Chaos and old Night, and is followed by those who hear him with something of wild, creative delight. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
Author Message
D-Lotus
Venerable IFian



Joined: 21 Oct 2004
Topics: 103
Posts: 4123
Location: Hollywood, USA

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Tue Jan 23, 2007 5:51 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Wow, the time-weathered Fauna!

I'm honored. And it looks like we have a three-way tie. Anyone up for the breaker?
_________________
Chapter 5: The Rendezvous
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author Message
Mother Goose
Respected Citizen



Joined: 09 May 2004
Topics: 2
Posts: 511
Location: Connecticut

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Tue Jan 23, 2007 5:57 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The "comprehensive investigation" can include a Socratic debate with Phineus and talking to Andy's family. He should talk to as many people as he can.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author Message
D-Lotus
Venerable IFian



Joined: 21 Oct 2004
Topics: 103
Posts: 4123
Location: Hollywood, USA

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Fri Jan 26, 2007 6:42 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

C'mon, I need to break the tie. The heat is up- one person controls Devine's future, and Mick's, probably. Will it be you? Will you choose success or failure? Well, vote, and we'll see. Wink
_________________
Chapter 5: The Rendezvous
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author Message
Chinaren
Hallowed IFian



Joined: 05 Sep 2005
Topics: 340
Posts: 8879
Location: https://www.NeilHartleyBooks.com

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Thu Feb 01, 2007 6:23 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I broke something! Oh wait, it was a tie. Wink

Nice. if fairly heavy, chapter D, sorry I missed the discussion.
_________________
Neil Hartley Books.
My Amazon page.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
Author Message
Geek_girl72
Respected Citizen



Joined: 19 Jul 2005
Topics: 31
Posts: 810
Location: Earth, The Universe

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Thu Feb 01, 2007 1:49 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yay! My ideas' in the lead! I'm really getting hooked on this story, You should try and have it published after you finish it, D.
_________________
"My candle burns at both its ends, it will not last the night;
But ah, my foes, and oh, my friends, it gives a lovely light!"
-Edna St. Vincent Millay

Whodunnit?On hold till further notice
I Don't Believe in Fate: Chapter 13 is now released
Lost n' Spacey On hold till Further Notice

(\__/)
(='.'=)This is Bunny. Copy and paste Bunny
(")_(")into your signature to help him gain world domination.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Author Message
D-Lotus
Venerable IFian



Joined: 21 Oct 2004
Topics: 103
Posts: 4123
Location: Hollywood, USA

Items
Legends
Fables
Strata-gems

PostPosted: Thu Feb 01, 2007 4:50 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Very Well. The Poll has been Closed.

I can't say I'm satisfied. In fact, I'm dissatisfied by the choice. But that's storygaming, I guess. And that's two in a row by GG, too.
_________________
Chapter 5: The Rendezvous
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message

So what's next for Devine?
A. (Votes added to B) Create a scandal to change his reputation so as to be accepted into Andy's confidence.
0%
 0%  [ 0 ]
B. (Votes added to A) Quietly retire from priesthood to gain Phineus' confidence and therefore gain Andy's.
25%
 25%  [ 2 ]
C. Talk to Andy's family/ try to make them moles.
25%
 25%  [ 2 ]
D. Confess to the crime to save Mick.
0%
 0%  [ 0 ]
E. Manipulate Socratic debate with Phineus to find information about the murder.
37%
 37%  [ 3 ]
F. Conduct a comprehensive investigation before attempting anything. (Includes C and E).
12%
 12%  [ 1 ]
Y. Enslave himself to his enemy.
0%
 0%  [ 0 ]
Total Votes : 8
Who Voted: Chinaren, ethereal_fauna, Geek_girl72, Lebrenth, LordoftheNight, Mother Goose, Smudger

Display posts from previous:   
This topic is locked: you cannot edit posts or make replies.   printer-friendly view    Storygames Home -> Confession Box - COMPLETE All times are GMT - 8 Hours
Page 1 of 1
Jump to:  
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum


Powered by phpBB © 2001, 2002 phpBB Group. Forum design by mtechnik, customized by City of IF
All site content © City of IF or the respective storygame authors.   Terms of use
Home   Book   Storygames   FAQ   Greek myth   About   Policies