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Geek_girl72
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 Posted: Sun Dec 03, 2006 12:02 pm Post subject: |
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For a place, how about he finds a house his father used to live in?
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Masterweaver
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| Posted: Sun Dec 03, 2006 12:13 pm Post subject: |
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The house is shaped like a diamond!
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DELETED
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| Posted: Sun Dec 03, 2006 12:15 pm Post subject: |
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Masterweaver
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| Posted: Tue Dec 05, 2006 5:48 pm Post subject: |
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A house shaped like a brain! That's classic.
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Tiny E
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| Posted: Sun Dec 10, 2006 10:37 pm Post subject: |
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If Tiny E were headed to this town, Tiny E would try to find the tallest building in town in an attempt to see over The Wall.
Tiny E pictures some kind of city hall where he must battle some absurd bureaucracy. Like, he must fill out his chicken in triplicate. Oh man, Tiny E swore to himself that his suggestion wouldn’t have anything to do with chickens! . . . Now Tiny E needs to drown his disappointment in ham sandwiches.
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Masterweaver
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| Posted: Wed Dec 13, 2006 5:05 pm Post subject: |
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I think food that screams would be entertaining.
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Geek_girl72
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| Posted: Tue Dec 19, 2006 11:09 am Post subject: |
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Like scrapyard, I think this story needs a villian too, and it doesn't have to be someone who tries to keep him from finding a way out. It might be interesting if they were trying to get out too, just going about it in a more devious way 
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"My candle burns at both its ends, it will not last the night;
But ah, my foes, and oh, my friends, it gives a lovely light!"
-Edna St. Vincent Millay
Whodunnit?On hold till further notice
I Don't Believe in Fate: Chapter 13 is now released
Lost n' Spacey On hold till Further Notice
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(='.'=)This is Bunny. Copy and paste Bunny
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Lebrenth
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| Posted: Tue Dec 19, 2006 12:42 pm Post subject: |
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| Geek_girl72 wrote: | | Like scrapyard, I think this story needs a villian too, and it doesn't have to be someone who tries to keep him from finding a way out. It might be interesting if they were trying to get out too, just going about it in a more devious way |
But there's already a villain, a very appropriate one for a surreal world: The Wall. And not only the wall, but everything it encompasses. The puddles are undoubtedly just a beginning.
A prop or theme that I would like to see in the story is chimneys. I think it would be very appropriate to the story, considering the factory killed the mother and father (directly and indirectly). Smokestacks and chimneys spewing sooty black smoke from unreasonable places, like the insides of houses instead of outside, standing in the middle of fields with no apparent source, in place of streetlamps and fountains, and such.
The wolf is a strong character who should definitely be found elsewhere, or at least hints of him... a white paw print in alleyways like graffitti or something. Dreams of him could be good too, which would just make sense considering what's already happened, even if it's just a normal dream.
Soot and ash should fall when it "snows", too.... Thick, so you have to shovel your sidewalk sometimes. An ash collector might be one of the kinds of people working in the city.
The city seems a dark and dreary place to me, more of a place to pass through, not visit. Perhaps our protagonist is heading for something on the other side? Perhaps travel is not so easy? Inexplicable dead-ends, fallen bridges, constant hinderance from city dwellers, police officers?
You give us too much freedom Argo! But it's fun! Anyway, they're just suggestions.
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Geek_girl72
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| Posted: Thu Feb 01, 2007 9:14 am Post subject: |
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I hope Argo gets back soon, this is one of my favortie sg's.
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"My candle burns at both its ends, it will not last the night;
But ah, my foes, and oh, my friends, it gives a lovely light!"
-Edna St. Vincent Millay
Whodunnit?On hold till further notice
I Don't Believe in Fate: Chapter 13 is now released
Lost n' Spacey On hold till Further Notice
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Argonaut
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| Posted: Thu Feb 01, 2007 4:41 pm Post subject: |
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| I am back! Soon as I can get my brain into writing mode again I will write chapter 3, seriously...
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Fri Feb 02, 2007 5:29 am Post subject: |
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Huzzah! And welcome back. (Sorry if I didn't notice you were gone, I was kinda out of it myself).
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Geek_girl72
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| Posted: Tue Feb 06, 2007 8:54 am Post subject: |
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Welcome back Argo! I'm looking forward to finding out what happens to our brave hero.
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"My candle burns at both its ends, it will not last the night;
But ah, my foes, and oh, my friends, it gives a lovely light!"
-Edna St. Vincent Millay
Whodunnit?On hold till further notice
I Don't Believe in Fate: Chapter 13 is now released
Lost n' Spacey On hold till Further Notice
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(='.'=)This is Bunny. Copy and paste Bunny
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