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Chinaren
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 Posted: Mon Mar 03, 2008 6:05 pm Post subject: Avarice chapter 18 - Hollow. |
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Last edited by Chinaren on Sat May 31, 2008 5:04 pm; edited 2 times in total
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Cyberworm
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| Posted: Tue Mar 04, 2008 2:00 am Post subject: |
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 First post! 
The grammar is very good, I haven't noted anything too big, and he spelling is also good. You've managed to say so much in so few words. Kudos. 
Maybe there is a hidden tunnel he used when he was hunter himself? Every good leader has an escape route, and if I recall correctly, Smur was the Big Guy in his tribe.
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Mephistopheles
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| Posted: Tue Mar 04, 2008 4:03 am Post subject: |
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another good chappy china. Summoned an evil beast huh? doesn't the summoner usually have some control of such? if so, why not use it as a hunting dog, sending it out to destroy those that disturb smur's mind? And then, of course, unsummon it so he can get away with those he wants.
Otherwise, the only thing i can think of is to create a distraction and burst in, killing all who stand in his way.
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Crunchyfrog
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| Posted: Tue Mar 04, 2008 10:32 am Post subject: |
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I don't think Smur has much control over the Hollow - he barely knew how to summon it. He didn't even know what he was summoning - powers of necromancy obviously need special training. If I were Smur, I wouldn't go trying that again!
It doesn't mention which direction the distant shriek came from, but my guess is it was not from where he thinks Alice is. If he can hear people talking they must be close up.
I'd say climb one of the stone trees, and throw a small rock or something in the direction of the talking and see what happens. If there is another guard he'll come running. The fog is thick, so if Smur is up high enough, he won't be seen from the ground.
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The Meaning Of Fear
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| Posted: Tue Mar 04, 2008 8:30 pm Post subject: |
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Nice one, Monkey (Ex)Mayor Man!  A bit short though.
I F5 Crunchy.
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CunningFox
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| Posted: Wed Mar 05, 2008 5:45 am Post subject: |
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It was shorter than your usual ones China. Still good though.
I lost this from my favourites, so missed the new chapters. Can we stop the favourites from dropping off somehow?
Well, Im caught up now.
I think calling the Hollow is too dangerous. Would he know some kind of code? Something the tribe might know so he could pretend to call for help? It's not a very good idea I know, but I can't think of anything. I'll come back to you on this one.
Oh wait! THought of something. Maybe he can use hisnew powers on the guards? or perhaps contact Alice by telepathy???
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Chinaren
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algu95
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| Posted: Sun Mar 09, 2008 10:04 am Post subject: |
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No, no new suggestions, currently...
Great chappy though, but short. Me wantz more! ... 
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Sun Mar 09, 2008 4:56 pm Post subject: |
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So be it. Poll is now up. Deficate into the pot of voting.
I've decided to try and concentrate on Avarice (and Tired) a bit more and attempt to get them done. I've about 10 other stories waiting in the wings and jostling for attention, so hopefully this one will speed up a little.
Don't forget to add it to your favorites if you like it! 
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| Posted: Wed Mar 12, 2008 4:09 am Post subject: |
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Chinaren
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Sat Mar 29, 2008 5:27 pm Post subject: |
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Mmm. A three way tie. 
~thinks~
Okay, maybe I can actually merger these to some degree.
Poll is closed then, I'm going to start this one today. At long last.
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Chinaren
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| Posted: Mon Apr 07, 2008 3:47 am Post subject: |
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New chapter will be up soon (unless omething interrupts me) so locking this one down.
Thanks for playing!!
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| It's foggy, we're in a petrified forest, there's some unholy spirit nearby, and we're wearing sunglasses. |
| Try and send the Hollow in. (rather risky!!) |
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0% |
[ 0 ] |
| Create a distraction and then go postal on their asses. |
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33% |
[ 2 ] |
| Up a tree, distraction, ambush. |
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33% |
[ 2 ] |
| Try using his new powers somehow. |
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33% |
[ 2 ] |
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| Total Votes : 6 |
| Who Voted: algu95, Chinaren, Crowkiller, Crunchyfrog, Cyberworm |
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