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PostPosted: Sat Dec 06, 2008 9:19 am    Post subject: Nexus- Chapter 6 now playing Reply with quote

Prologue

Blackness. A tugging feeling on her shoulders and waist. She felt a kind of disturbance in the air, as if she was rocking back and forth on a swing. What happened? She remembered walking into the forest to go check on her animal friends, but there had been something wrong. Before she could figure it out, there was a sharp, blinding pain in her head, and then darkness. But where was she now?

Snow White opened her eyes, brain protesting at the sudden sharp light. Squinting as her eyes adjusted, she found herself to be attached to a kind of cross. Rings encircled her shoulders and waist, holding her against the rough wooden slats that were in turn suspended rather high of the ground, swinging in an invisible breeze. She was under a bright light, but beyond the light’s reaches was impenetrable darkness.

“H…Hello?” Snow White called hoarsely, musical voice cracking slightly with fear and confusion. “Is anyone there?”

A quiet strain of music returned her call, sounding as if a young girl was singing from far away.

“Help, please!” She cried, frantic. “Please, I don’t know where I am or why I’m here- can you help me?”

The singing continued, getting closer and closer, until a stooped woman stepped into the pool of light. Her head was bent, face hidden beneath long, grey hair. She walked right up to the dangling feet, still humming the tune. She grabbed one of Snow White’s pale feet with gnarled fingers, holding it as if it was a treasured possession. Snow White shuddered with revulsion as the cold clammy hands touched her delicate skin. The woman began speaking in a sing-songy voice, much like a five-year old child.

“This little piggy went to market,” she gently tugged on Snow White’s largest toe. “This little piggy stayed home.” She moved on to the next toe, giggling manically and reciting in that same, disconcerting voice. “This little piggy had roast beef, and this little piggy had none.” She reached the hanging woman’s last toe, and grabbed hold of it. “And this little piggy went WEEEE!” She let out a screech that sounded uncannily similar to a stuck pig- “Alllllll the way home.” The woman burst into mad laughter, all the while clutching Snow White’s foot in her hand, nails digging into the skin like claws. In her fit, the woman threw her head back, revealing her face.

Snow White was struck with horror at the glimpse of the aged face. “It’s… but-“ she stammered, unable to believe what was going on.

The woman calmed down, and raised her left hand, revealing a notched silver knife. She grinned, revealing yellowed teeth ground to points.

“Let’s give those little piggies something to really squeal about.”

The sound of Snow White’s shrieks split the air in two.
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Here's some stuff I started writing a long time ago. Orb. Nexus.


Last edited by Phantomfan on Tue Nov 23, 2010 8:11 am; edited 16 times in total
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PostPosted: Sat Dec 06, 2008 11:28 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Shocked

ummm....

Shocked

that's very... dark.

and kinda twisted.

I'm proud of you Phan! Very Happy
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PostPosted: Sat Dec 06, 2008 4:32 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Chapter 1

You are surrounded by nothingness. Not blackness, not whiteness, but emptiness in its entirety. A sense of complete disembodiment fills you- but there is nothing to fill. You simply remain, waiting for something.

A miniscule door appears in the nothingness, glowing with a faint, blue light. It grows larger and larger, and you realize that you are getting closer to it. Closer and closer, until you can see every detail. It is covered with a twisting, writhing pattern- one that is never the same twice. Entranced, you stare at it until it fills your mind completely- and it opens. You… float through it slowly.

Suddenly you are stretched, compressed, taken apart, pushed together-overloaded with these contrasting feelings until your nonexistent mind can’t take the pain any more-

And then- you are back in your own body, laying on the ground. Standing up, you look around. You are in an empty room- one that appears to be normal until your eyes roam to the corners. They’re perfectly ordinary corners, except for the fact that the walls don’t connect with the corners. They seem to bend and move closer and farther away wherever you look, unwilling to accept your pre-conceived notion of how walls work. From the walls emanates a loud voice- one of either a man or a woman, you can’t tell. It seems to alternate from one to the other, sometimes both.

“T’was a long time ago, longer now then it seems.
In a place you’ve perhaps seen in your dreams…
Now you’ve probably wondered where Fairy Tales come from.
If you haven’t, I’d say it’s time you’ve begun.”

Suddenly, there is a flash of bright light and a swirling mist fills the room. Coughing, you notice two dark shapes forming in the thick fog. As the mist slowly dissipates, the figures make themselves clear. One is what can only be described as a gaudy stage magician- bright red cape evidence of the flash and glamour of his profession. The second is a hooded figure, her face pale and her eyes deep pools. Doors of every shape and size appear on the walls- simple, beautiful, gaudy, all different kinds. Old doors, new doors, red doors, blue doors.

The magician bows dramatically to you.

“Choose a door, any door,” he intones in extravagant tones. “I promise they won’t bite.”

The woman smiles, revealing bright white fangs. “Won’t bite? Not quite.”

The magician twirls his cape and disappears in another flash of light. The woman merely gazes at you with an unreadable look on her face, then bows slightly and fades away into the surrounding mist, which quickly evaporates.

You are left alone in a room of doors. One of these doors must lead somewhere- but you don’t know where. The one that you choose could lead you somewhere you don’t want to be –into a tale of dark and demonic powers…

Alrighty, so here's how this SG is going to work. First of all- it won't be entirely in the first person- you will be embodying different characters as it progresses. Part of it will be this kind of dp- you will be choosing which door to take. So think back to your early childhood days, when fairy tales were all you thought about... You can give either a short discription of the door, or you can give the place to where it leads. Voting will be about which suggested door to take.

So we need a door! Also- if anyone has any title ideas, they would be greatly appreciated as well. Thanks!

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PostPosted: Sat Dec 06, 2008 9:35 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

i don't have any ideas for the title.

But here's a door.

At first glance it seems like a door overgrown with thorny vines, but a closer glance shows that the thorns make up the door, twisting together and interlinking in complex arrangements. Among the vines sharp thorns abound, and here and there a glimpse of roses.

But not quite roses. They're red roses, like most others, but a gloomy red, that hints a darker truth. Once in a while, they stir hungrily, giving an impression of a barely restrained predator.

And you could almost swear that some of the roses had teeth....
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PostPosted: Sun Dec 07, 2008 11:11 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Whoa... nice and creepy, just the way I like it! Very Happy

Let's see... a door.

How about one that leads to the land of Cinderella?
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PostPosted: Tue Dec 09, 2008 10:49 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Any more ideas?
C'mon, help a baby SG struggle to its feet!
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PostPosted: Tue Dec 09, 2008 7:35 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I like the idea of doors Phan. This feels like a darker sort of fairy tale. It's a good thing, it feels very welcoming but foreboding at the same time.

I want a charred door, still burning and crackling. The surface of it is warm and black dust comes off at the touch. If you look at the cracks and edges you can see glowing lines from where it burns.

Maybe put that in the poll? Oh and I don't mean to be pushy but make the next chapter longer. I want something chunky to digest. Very Happy
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PostPosted: Tue Dec 09, 2008 7:42 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Gallant wrote:
Oh and I don't mean to be pushy but make the next chapter longer. I want something chunky to digest. Very Happy


Yeah- sorry about that. This first part was mostly just an introduction- it should have been the prologue, but for later reasons was not.

Thank you!
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PostPosted: Tue Dec 09, 2008 8:21 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

ooh, doors! maybe there's keys?

this door is...
old. ancient. The dark wooden boards are roughly hewn, and are heavily worn by all types of weather. There is no handle; the door is ajar ever so slightly, exposing a centimeter or so of the door-posts. There is a thin film of dust covering the door. A warm, flickering light shines through the gap in the bottom.
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PostPosted: Tue Dec 09, 2008 9:36 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

OOOOOO

That's great!

we didn't even think of a possibility of keys!

This could get interesting.

Perhaps we find locked doors, but later find the keys?
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PostPosted: Wed Dec 10, 2008 5:09 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

What about a skeleton key?
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PostPosted: Wed Dec 10, 2008 12:52 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

This is reminding me of Kingdom Hearts for some reason... I hope I'm not turning into a fanboy.

And I've got 2 ideas for doors:

Door 1:

A door that sits by the supposed "corner" of the room, despite them still fluctating in a not-so-normal way.

This door is by far one of the largest, about 10 feet tall, maybe more. It was a double door, so that made it very wide as well, about 7 or 8 feet. It looks to be made out of oak, though you may be wrong. Chains overlap much of the surface of the wood, obscuring what may have been patterns on the wooden panels. These all seem to intersect at the centre of the door, where a gigantic padlock holds them together, the kind where the keyhole is on the side rather than the bottom. For some reason this door appears darker than the others... it's almost as if shadows were squeezing through the gaps between the two huge oaken sides...

Door 2:

A modest-looking pure-white door, unadorned with patterns of any kind, stood towards the left. The round doorknob was golden, and might well be made out of gold, too; its allure seems to promise you... something. Its clean exterior also seems to draw you, but its plainness seems to hold you back...
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Doors to the truth, an SG where a boy is propelled into worlds he is unfamiliar with. He crosses many worlds, and sees many things that force him to throw away his innocence, once, and for all. Fourth Chapter, out for viewing!
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PostPosted: Wed Dec 10, 2008 4:31 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

*gasp* you've got a new one? Shocked why did I not see this? anyway, this is a really promising beginning, and I'm really looking forward to seeing where it goes. And for some reason that poem sounds eerily familiar Cool as for the door...hm...maybe one that almost seems alive, with networks that interweave like veins, and a spot in the middle that resonates like a heartbeat. The beast inside has yet to be revealed. And I'm not sure about the key idea...where is this person supposed to find it? Maybe it opens with something non-material...a riddle, perhaps?
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PostPosted: Wed Dec 10, 2008 4:37 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sorry, forgot about the title. Well, we're at the crossroads of several different worlds...how about Nexus?
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PostPosted: Wed Dec 10, 2008 5:32 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I like Nexus.
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PostPosted: Wed Dec 10, 2008 6:56 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Woot!
Thanks for all the replies, everyone. Especially BlackAmaranth- The new name is Nexus!!!

Any last minute suggestions?
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PostPosted: Thu Dec 11, 2008 2:09 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yes - a small, yellow, stable door, and the bottom half of it is wide open.


Another idea - a revolving door, which you can see beyond, through its glass, but it doesn't send you where you'd expect.
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PostPosted: Thu Dec 11, 2008 7:27 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Wow, I really wasn't expecting this many door ideas. Thanks, guys! You've given me some great ideas.

Poll is up!

By the way- if your door is not chosen in this particular poll, you are always welcome to resubmit it in the next door-dp!


EDITZ; Forgot to put up and Author's option- my vote doesn't count!
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PostPosted: Wed Dec 17, 2008 8:58 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Alrighty, poll is closed!

and the winner is.... Which door shall you choose?

DMW's Rose door.

At first glance it seems like a door overgrown with thorny vines, but a closer glance shows that the thorns make up the door, twisting together and interlinking in complex arrangements. Among the vines sharp thorns abound, and here and there a glimpse of roses.

But not quite roses. They're red roses, like most others, but a gloomy red, that hints a darker truth. Once in a while, they stir hungrily, giving an impression of a barely restrained predator.

And you could almost swear that some of the roses had teeth....



Thanks to all who voted- next chapter will be up relatively soon!
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PostPosted: Sun Feb 08, 2009 9:30 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks for being patient- sorry about the wait. Finals really really suck.
Anyways, here's....

Chapter 2!

You look around the disorienting room, doing your best not to look at the corners or walls. Doors swim in and out of view- one that seems to be crackling with fire, another that seems to be throbbing with a pulse, a third that is merely bright yellow one.

A door catches your eye. It appears to be covered with thorny vines, but as you step closer, you realize that the vines actually are the door- twisting and interlocking in complex, nearly mesmerizing patterns. Between the patterns and sharp thorns, you catch glimpses of roses. But… you squint and walk towards the door cautiously. These are strange roses- ones that exude menace and gloom rather then the traditional rosy happiness and brightness. As you look at one, it almost seems to stir hungrily, like a barely restrained predator. It has- you blink, then peer closer. You could almost swear the roses have teeth…

As you continue to walk towards the rose door, it flickers. You stop, unsure of what just happened. When nothing else happens, you step towards it again, placing your hand on the curved, smooth vine that services as the handle. You push down on it, and the door swings inwards with a growl, much like a beast about to pounce.

Beyond the door is merely menacing blackness. With a shiver, you close your eyes and step through the doorway.

The sense of falling, twisting, turning, spinning, tearing apart, falling-

~~~~

He was laying on his back, something tickling his ears. His head was pounding slightly, making his thoughts a bit of a mush. Attempting to get his bearings, Jack frowned at the blackness surrounding him. Then he realized his eyes were closed. He opened his eyes, squinting as bright light suddenly assaulted his vision and causing his eyes to water. After a minute of ferocious blinking, he looked up. An unfamiliar bright grey sky peered down at him. It seemed to radiate a kind of sunlight, though no sun could be seen.

Well, Jack thought. That’s different.

What had just happened? He remembered a second beanstalk, reaching even higher then the first had- but that sky was a normal blue, unlike this extremely disorienting grey that shone down on him now. And there had been a door at the top, and then a long fall…

Jack blinked, then began to pull himself up. As soon as his head was vertical, he was hit with a splitting headache- almost as if an angry porcupine was crawling around in his skull, needles jabbing into anything it could reach. He groaned with pain and clutched at his head, praying to something, anything, that it would go away soon.

After a few seconds that lasted hours, the porcupine stopped moving and the pain dissipated. Tentatively, Jack raised his head and looked around, taking in his surroundings. He was sitting at the edge of a forest. In front of him lay a gravel path, which led to-

“By the Great Bean…” he breathed.

There, in front of him, was a Mansion. It was twice the size of the mansions he knew, with towers and windows everywhere. The walls appeared to be covered in ivy- but well kept, leading Jack to reason that it was indeed inhabited.

And where there be people, he thought, hearing his stomach grumble, there be food.

With a grunt, Jack managed to push himself of the grass and onto his feet. He was disgusted to find his legs trembling.

“Ach, c’mon legs. Yah can’t be dead yet,” he said out loud, delivering a few hard slaps to his thighs. “There be plenty more walkin’ ta do!”

After a few seconds, the shaking stopped and Jack began walking towards the entrance to the
Mansion.

As Jack got closer to the doors, a flash of red caught his eye. He stopped and looked at the wall next to him. Red flowers peered back from between the twined vines.
“So they’s rose bushes, eh?” He murmured, curiously. He carefully reached his hand through the thorny vines to pick one- only to freeze as the rose turned towards him. Startled, he quickly pulled his hand out and backed away. The rose continued to face him, turning to follow him as he moved around.

“Mighty strange,” Jack muttered, unsettled. Avoiding any possible eye-contact with the watching rose, he walked up to the large, dark oak door that stood tall in front of him. He quelled his unusual nerves with a deep breath, then grabbed the large brass knocker.
Jack could hear the sound echoing through the house, fading away with each repeat until it disappeared entirely, silence covering the clearing. He waited. And waited.

After a few minutes, Jack knocked again.

Frowning at the lack of response, he gave up and turned around, staring down the pathway that led from the Mansion to the woods. He leaned back against the door, contemplating his next move. If the house was empty, then it wouldn’t help him at all. The only other place to go was the woods, but that didn’t look very promising…

All of a sudden, Jack realized that he had absolutely no idea of where he was.

“’S a completely different world,” he said out loud, if only to break the impenetrable silence that seemed to cover the clearing. He looked up at the strange sky, thinking.

A click resounded next to Jack’s ear and the door swung inwards, sending him sprawling backwards with a yelp as his only means of support was removed. He sat up, rubbing his head and cursing indignantly. As he watched, the heavy door swung closed with a thud that echoed much like the knocker had- but deeper, with a more final tone.

Jack leapt up and grabbed the door handle, heaving with all his strength. Some feeling deep down told him that he did NOT want to be locked in this strange house with no means of escape. The door refused to budge.

“Ay, what’s all this?” Jack said angrily, whirling around to see the person that had opened the door. The well-lit hallway was empty. Jack frowned, then turned back to see if the door had opened yet. Seeing that the answer was no, he sighed and began to walk down the hall.

“’M not likin’ this at all…” he mumbled, glancing around suspiciously as he walked. The room beyond the hallway was a dining room with a table that stretched from one end of the room to the other. It was just as well lit as the entranceway beforehand, and there was even a bowl of fresh fruit placed on the table.

Seems like there should be people here, Jack thought, glancing at the table set for what seemed like a huge party.

“Hallo? Someone?” He called, grabbing an apple from the bowl and taking a bite out of it. It tasted like- wax? He grimaced and placed the apple back on the bowl, the bite mark tactfully placed downwards.

“Is there anyone here? Hallo?”

He wandered through the brightly lit rooms, calling out and looking for some signs of life.
There was none to be found.

More then a bit worried now, he turned a corner- and stopped. A door lay at each end of the hallway. Tentatively, Jack walked towards the one to his left. As he approached it, he saw that it was a door almost exactly like the one at the entrance of the house. The only difference was the green light that came out from beneath it… Jack shuddered and backed away, turning around to look at the other door. This one had vertical stripes carved into its sandy wood, making it look almost like a cage. It was propped open slightly. As he looked at it, Jack heard a low growling and something that sounded like sobbing emitting from whoever- or whatever- was behind it. He backed away from this one faster until he found himself back in between the two.

“Well, what’s it ta be, Jack?” he said to himself quietly, rubbing the back of his neck and looking from one door to the other.

~~~~
A quick apology for the roughness of the chapter.

As for the DP- Well? What is it to be? What shall he do?
There's doors, and there's hallways.

And, just to make things clear, Jack will be the main character we will follow.

For now.

Thanks for reading!

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Here's some stuff I started writing a long time ago. Orb. Nexus.


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PostPosted: Mon Feb 09, 2009 6:22 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

The striped door is propped open, the other one isn't, but it sounds like there's a creature inside. I'd pick up the bowl of wax fruit, and throw an apple through the door that is ajar.

Then be ready to open up the door with the green light behind, to trap whatever beast might come pounding out of the striped door.


I like this story although I found the switch of POV a little confusing. The character that was in 2nd person - I guess we're assuming this is who is sobbing, or perhaps Snow White?

Anyway I'm sure all will become clear as we move forward as Jack. Smile
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PostPosted: Mon Feb 09, 2009 7:23 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Crunchyfrog wrote:
I like this story although I found the switch of POV a little confusing. The character that was in 2nd person - I guess we're assuming this is who is sobbing, or perhaps Snow White?


Heh- Sorry about that. I gues I should have explained that better-

The person written in second person actually has... "embodied" Jack at the moment. We're just seeing what's going on from the third person point of view- for reasons that will become clearer later.
If Jack gets killed off, (a very big possibility) "You" will have to make another door choice- and will embody a different character.

As to who is behind the door? Well, if Jack choses the right path, we'll figure that out rather soon! Very Happy

Thanks for reading!
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PostPosted: Mon Feb 09, 2009 4:16 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hm, this is a tough one...well, I say go for the less threatening door, the one with the light (assuming it's not locked). If he gets killed by...whatever's behind the open door first, we'll never find out what's behind door #2, now will we? Smile If there's nothing behind the glowing door, or if it's locked...well, maybe Mr. Growly can help Jack out...or, you know, swallow him whole Smile
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PostPosted: Mon Feb 09, 2009 5:07 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

In most worlds, i'd say go for the green light.

After all, Green light means go right? And in most worlds, light is a lot less ominous than growlyness.

But i think you could turn green light into something a lot more horrible than any growling beast, so i say go for the growly one.
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PostPosted: Tue Feb 10, 2009 8:57 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

DeadManWalking wrote:

But i think you could turn green light into something a lot more horrible than any growling beast


Most people would find that worrying. Very Happy

Thanks for your suggestions!!
Any more?
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PostPosted: Thu Feb 12, 2009 1:39 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hmmm... that was a most entertaining prologue, Phanty! As others have said, very dark and creepy.

Sadly I don't think you've managed to hold on to that enticing start completely, although you still ask a lot of intriguing questions with your early chapters, certainly enough that it kept me reading.

Ok - so we're Jack now, beanstalk expert extraordinare, pretty handy with an axe in an emergency!

I like Crunchy's idea with throwing the fruit in. I also think we should be looking to arm ourselves. Maybe this big ol' mansion had those suits of armour lining some of the walls in the dining room we past through. Perhaps they have a sword or axe we could take. Alternatively, there could be a pair of crossed swords mounted on the wall over the fireplace in the dining room. Typical decoration for that sort of place.

Quote:
table set for what seemed like a huge party


At the very least we could take a few knives from the table settings you mentioned.

Once armed with something sharp I would be much more inclined to head into the thorn-door. We've past through one thorn door already, best to continue that trend (so long as we remember doing the first).

Happy Writing Smile
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PostPosted: Fri Feb 13, 2009 11:24 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I don't know about anyone else, but I found Jack's Accent absolutely hilarious.

Maybe it was just me.

ANYways, nice chapter! I agree with Crunchy- the POV switch was a bit confuzzling. Your explanation is understandable, though.

Dp- He should head for the growly door, if only to look briefly and then run away. Perhaps arming himself with the fruit bowl. I liked that idea.
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PostPosted: Fri Feb 13, 2009 4:49 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

So did i! it WAS Hilarious!
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PostPosted: Sat Feb 14, 2009 1:54 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks for your comments, Smee and Sabriel!

I'm gonna leave it open for another day, then put up the poll.
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PostPosted: Sat Feb 14, 2009 11:53 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thissss sssstorygame isss worthy of HEM.

Congratulationsssss!
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PostPosted: Sun Feb 15, 2009 12:08 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Congrats Phan!
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PostPosted: Sun Feb 15, 2009 11:26 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Wooot! Thanks guys!

And while we're at it-

Pooooolllll is up!
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PostPosted: Thu Feb 19, 2009 2:01 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I voted for option 2... although note :

Quote:
Once armed with something sharp I would be much more inclined to head into the thorn-door.


I want to be armed!
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PostPosted: Thu Feb 19, 2009 9:54 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

OOOOH

is heading toward the glowy door with a weapon an option? Cuz if so i F5 Smee and would like to change my vote (originally option 1) to that.
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PostPosted: Tue Feb 24, 2009 6:56 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

REALLY good comical/dark reinterpretation of fairy tales, Phan. Good job. The prologue reminds me of the Saw and Hostel series. I love it. Do another torture scene!
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PostPosted: Tue Feb 24, 2009 9:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Poll is closed!

Head towards the stripey door with a kind of weapon in hand? (fruit, spare knife, etc) 50% [ 3 ]
Head towards the door with teh glowy light? 16% [ 1 ]

Head towards the stripey door with NO weapon? 16% [ 1 ]
Find a duck? (Author's option) 16% [ 1 ]

There is indeed a tie between option one and option two- I'll do my best to work with both.

Thanks for voting!

(Don't worry- more torture scenes are expected.)
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PostPosted: Thu Mar 26, 2009 8:18 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

And now while you wait to hear Jack's fate.... Very Happy

An interlude!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


It was the cold that woke her.
Deep in a delightful dream about her and her hubby, Rapunzel’s brow furrowed when she felt the cold wind wafting around her legs. Reluctant to leave her personal heaven, she remained half asleep- until the cold got too prominent.

Rapunzel opened her eyes angrily, sitting up and opening her mouth to chastise the lazy servant who had left the windows open- when she realized she was outside, lying on the railing
that surrounded the balcony, directly outside her bedroom. The sky was an abnormal pitch black.

A voice sounded out of the darkness.

“Rapunzel, Rapunzel…”

With a gasp, Rapunzel straightened, frozen with fear that the tone of the familiar voice. A cackle sounded behind her, the sound of the insane. Rapunzel felt rather then saw something being tossed over her head and landing on her shoulders in a seemingly circular form. The voice repeated, this time extremely close to her ear.

“Rapunzel, Rapunzel…”

“Why are-” She began- but was cut off as that something tightened around her neck. Rapunzel coughed, frantically clawing at the rope of golden hair that was strangling her.

“Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your hair,” the voice cackled in her ear. “That I may climb-” The terrified girl suddenly felt a clawed hand pressing into her back, pushing her off the balcony- “the golden stair.”

Rapunzel fell with a choked scream, sound mad cackling piercing the air. The last thing she saw was the stars glinting coldly in the night- and then a flash of red as the knot around her neck tightened with a jerk, breaking her neck.

~~~~

Well, there you have it. Another Princess (of a sort) dead. What does that leave for Jack...?

Comments of any type are appreciated! The next chapter will be up soon!!

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PostPosted: Thu Mar 26, 2009 8:20 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Pretty cool!

sounds like the witch in the original fairy tale came back for some vengeance.

Waiting for more!

and btw, WOOT FIRST POST!!!!!
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PostPosted: Sun Mar 29, 2009 2:50 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ah, now we have a link to the prologue! The plot thickens. Very Happy

Mwahahaa! Come on, what's behind that stripey door? Very Happy
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PostPosted: Sun Mar 29, 2009 6:50 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks for waiting! Term papers are a b***.
Enjoy!


Just a quick warning- there is a small bit of swearing in the next chapter. Apoligies if it offends you.


Chapter 3

Jack looked at the two doors, frowning. Both seemed to beckon enticingly. The one exuding the
green light looked extremely foreboding, but the sounds from the stripy one didn’t seem any more promising.

I’d feel better wit a weapon or something in my hand… he thought, clenching his empty fist.

Minutes later, Jack was back in place, a large knife taken from the table in his hand.

He took a deep breath and turned to his left- towards the greenish door. As he stepped towards it, he held the knife out in front of him, ready for any type of assault. He reached for the snake-shaped handle of the door, only to jump back with a yelp as the handle suddenly glowed a fierce white, a sharp hissing sound filling the air.

Jack lowered his hand- and the hissing stopped, the handle losing its light and returning to a dull silver. He raised his hand again, and the hissing came back, the handle glowing white again. Jack tilted his head, thinking. He moved his hand slowly towards the door and winced as the hissing grew sharper and the light brighter, then moved his hand back noticing the decrease in the light and the sharp sound.

“Mighty strange,” Jack muttered, lowering his hand. It seemed that that door was not going to permit itself to be opened.

With a sigh, Jack turned instead to the other door. Loud sobbing emitted from it, with the occasional loud growl. There must be someone who needs help! Jack thought, panicking.
He looked at the knife in his hand.

“‘S gotta be me, I suppose,” he said out loud in an attempt to calm his nerves. He tossed the knife from hand to hand as he walked closer to the door. A step or two away from it, he stopped and took a deep breath. With a loud yell, he threw the door open and brandished the knife flamboyantly, eyes searching wildly for the savage creature-

His mouth dropped open.

A man was huddled in the center of the room, tears streaming down his face. He was barechested, wearing pants that looked like they were made of a black, furry skin- like a panther skin, with a long tail protruding from his backside. There appeared to be a color around his neck, and there were even two cat ears poking out of his long mussed up hair.

The man had glanced up as Jack barged in, and now he leapt to his feet.

“Who are you?” He demanded angrily, wiping his eyes quickly and striking a defiant pose.

“I’m…um… from the land o’ Teanta,” Jack stammered, forgotten knife dropping to the ground.

“M’name’s Jack.”

“From… Teanta? But why are you here?” The man tilted his head, thinking. From this angle, Jack could see that the ears weren’t real- they were attached to a headband that was half-hidden in the man’s wild blonde hair. Before Jack could splutter out an answer, the man’s eyes widened with sudden realization. “Oh thank Myra, you’ve come to rescue me,” he gasped, eyes welling up with tears again.

Jack took a step backwards in shock. “What? Rescue ye from what?”

“From her!” The man stepped forwards, fervor in his eyes. “She’s kept me here for years!”

“Her?” Jack looked at the man, curiosity piqued, all thoughts of fleeing gone. “Who be her?”

The man sighed and sat back down. He looked up at Jack and motioned for Jack to come sit by him. Jack hesitated- then walked over slowly and sat a few feet away from this strange man. There was a sadness in this man’s eyes that intrigued him.

“Where to start…” the man muttered, rubbing his neck.

“Well, the beginning’s usually a good place,” Jack suggested tentatively.

The man smiled. “My name’s Gustav,” he began. “I’m currently under power of one of the most powerful sorceress’ ever, and she thinks I’m her- I’m not really sure. Her pet- or even lover, I think.” the man explained in a heavy voice. “Her real name is Belle, but she likes to go by the name of Beauty.”

“’Nd, she’s the one who put…” Jack motioned towards the strange costume the man was wearing.

Gustav nodded. “My true name is Gustav, but she calls me Beast,” he explained.

Jack winced as he envisioned a hunched over ugly hag. “So… this Belle has kept you tied up here? Why?”

“No idea,” Gustav said with a shrug, tugging on the collar around his neck. “She treats me like a dog.”

“But a well pampered, one at least,” Jack muttered, eyeing the expensive furniture that filled the room.

Before Gustav could respond, a musical voice suddenly rang through the air, carrying the same tone Jack would use if he were calling his dog. “Oh Beast, dearie!”

Gustav’s eyes widened in horror. “Shit, she’s here!” Jack leapt to his feet, searching frantically for a hiding place.

Before he could bolt however, the door opened. Jack’s jaw dropped for the second time in minutes.

A tall, shapely woman stood in the doorway. She was wearing a deep purple dress with a deep neckline edged in gold. Her arms were covered in black netting, three or four rings on each hand- one with a large green stone. Wavy black hair down to her waist, held back with a glittering clip in the shape of a butterfly.

“It’s supper time, lovey- ” the woman stopped as she saw Jack. A strange look passed over her face.

~~~~~

Well, we've met another fairytale couple, and we've seen what's behind the stripy door.
The only question is-
what is Belle's reaction to seeing Jack?

(while I have a bit of time, I'd like to get the next chapter in pretty soon. Let's get those comments in!!!!)
Thanks for reading!

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What should our good friends Hansel and Gretel do?
Make a loud noise
0%
 0%  [ 0 ]
Follow the servant girl (currently being dragged away)
33%
 33%  [ 1 ]
Go find some food
66%
 66%  [ 2 ]
Total Votes : 3
Who Voted: Crunchyfrog, DeadManWalking, Thunderbird

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