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Exmortis
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 Posted: Wed Dec 08, 2010 4:15 am Post subject: Welcome to Terrene [Now polling] |
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Alexander
Alex lay on a cool surface; it felt good against his finger tips. He had previously tried to open his eyes, but it was pointless, it was far too dark to make out anything. So Alex decided to keep his eyes closed until they become accustom to the darkness. In the meantime he swept his palm across the surrounding environment. There seemed to be contrasting types of texture to the floor, in some areas there are smooth patches yet elsewhere Alex can detent rocks and dirt. This was quite unusual; these shadows were far deeper than the ones that inhabited his usual lodging. Perhaps this is merely a dream... yes, probably a dream. He wasn't one to easily confuse reality with fantasy, despite what the doctors at that hospital would have him believe. However, if this was not a dream, then it would be most fortuitous, I never really liked people trying to make me second guess my own sanity. Pulling away from his thoughts, Alex once again attempted to get his bearings Alex reopened his eyes. His vision had improved somewhat, the shadows now had shifted from black to dark blue hue. Turning his head to the side Alex could make out the outlines of object scattered around the floor, possibly more rocks. With a little complaint from his joints, he managed to encourage his legs to lift him off the pleasantly cool floor. Alex glanced around for a moment, noticing how well the darkness conceals the room from him. Alex stood there contemplating the possibly presence but unperceivable room he stood in, and of course the strange predicament he had gotten into. It seemed to him that he really only had one action available at the moment with two ways to go about it. He could explore this room or, turning his gaze towards a barely visible outline of a doorway hidden behind the remnants of a partially crumbled pillar.
Rebecca
Rebecca awoke with a start, panting and drenched with sweat. The nightmares had been intensifying over the last few fortnights. Every dream involves these things that only she can see. All she ever remembers about them the smiles, wicked rat smiles with blood and gore dripping from their teeth. They just keep killing people and changing them into more of them, more of the monsters. Rebecca yawned and gradually sat up rubbing her eyes warily in the process. As she looked about her surroundings it quickly became evident that this wasn't her one bedroom apartment. For one, she appeared to be outside, resting against a crumbling stone wall bathed in the light of a half moon. The scarce lighting that the celestial body overhead produced barely managed to keep the darkness at bay. Confounded by her unfamiliar surroundings and confused by her situation in general literally fell back against the ruined section of wall. Looking around frantically she noticed two main features of importance. Monolithic ruins, worn by time and years of rain and wind, and overgrown by the adjacent forest and of course the adjacent forest, from deep within which echoed music melodies. Rebecca's addled brain managed to rationalize that the nearby ruins, while probably capable of providing safe haven from a variety of dangers are essentially collapsing in slow motion, which in itself is a major risk to her safety. Alternatively, she could venture into the contiguous forest, a usually unthinkable concept to her, made attractive by the fact that festive melodies radiated from said woodlands. This was a relief, at very least she wasn’t completely alone in these backwoods, which was yet another valid argument why she shouldn’t try and navigate these night blackened wilds.
Jason
Jason faded in and out of consciousness, the last moment of his life flashing before his eyes, the honking of a horn the screech of car brakes and the force of inertia hurling him through the window shield, and to his death, or so he assumed. Through the blackness of impending death Jason clawed his way back, eventually rising from his motionless slumber and regained awareness, this event marked by Jason’s still body springing to life. Panic stricken by past experiences, Jason swiftly surveyed his environment; Jason did not see what he had expected, instead of fires, smoke and twisted metal he lay in a stone paved court yard surrounded by the sound of cricket song. Jason, astonished by this inexplicable event, immediately attempted to get to his feet, unfortunately his worn body failed under its own weight. A howl of pain escaped his lips as he crashed against the ground. It was only now did Jason realize how beaten he actually was. Every inch of his body throbbed with pain; a pain which blurred his vision and scrambled his mind. After several more failed attempts to rise off the floor, each increasing his own frustration, Jason resolved to try a different method. Slowly and very carefully, Jason rolled his body as to lie on his back and then raise his torso off the ground. After what felt like hours without number, Jason at last managed to sit upright, a small feat to be sure, but earned him a feeling of accomplishment none the less. Jason couldn't help but pant even this simple action had taken quite a bit out of his damaged body. Jason pushed aside the larger questions spinning in his head and instead focused on what course of action he should take from here. In his current condition, it seemed unlikely that he would be able to move quickly or over any great distances. It may be wiser to examine his injuries and determine if he can improve his condition. He couldn't see any signs of excessive bleeding on his body but all the same, Jason was concerned, if he had suffered excessive internal injury then it could mean serious problems down the line.
Nicholas
The fist slammed against my face. Honestly, the punch itself wasn't that bad, most of it glanced right off. What really gets to me up was the sound that the fist makes when it made contact. The head is the worst place to take a hit, the sound of your flesh reacting to the energy transferred from the fist and reverberates in your skull... really messes you up ya'know.
I guess I should explain how I managed to get into this predicament, right? Well, my name is Nicholas, You don't need to say anything I know how totally geeky my name is, which is why I unofficially changed it to Dav. I am a twenty-tw...-thre... something year old man; I go to a city colleague; although, I spend most of my time in tavern instead of doing what I am suppose to (I.e. studding) and I have a really bad habit of getting into unpleasant situations with unsavoury characters. Skipping onto the action, some meat head was trying to act tough for some chick. So, she rejects him right, I mean I can totally understand that ya'know, he really wasn't much to look at... to put it lightly... very lightly. Yeah, well, muscles didn't really take it that well and things started getting ugly. So I step in and try and set things straight cause, well ya'know, I am a sucker for a damsel in distress. He retaliates to this with some rather dull insult and a shove. Annnnd... one curt response from me involving the guy's face and a pile of horse shat and here I am, unconscious and bleeding on a beer soaked floor. So much for my knight in shining armour routine; always used to work with the ladies. So yeah, that is essentially my life, warming stools and getting to be the punching bag for future pro wrestlers.
Well, it was my life until I woke up in the weirdest place I have ever woke up in after getting my ass kicked. I mean, that is saying something because I have woken up in some freaking strange places. One time, I found myself robbed of everything except my birthday suit locked in a chicken coop on some random farm. It was rather relaxing in there amongst all the fluffy birdies, until some lovely young thing walked in on me. A few moments later, I was sprinting, butt naked, out of the little wooden house all the while dodging bullets from a red faced albino with a rifle, whom I can only assume is her husband.
Moving on, when I finally come to, I find myself in a very cramped, very much darker then the places I usually regain conciseness. My first thought was that I had been declared dead on arrival but had risen from the grave to eat the brains of bad little turnips... ? ... Give me a break; I took a cinderblock sized fist square to the face. Anyway, after I snapped out of my delirium I managed to figure out that I was trapped inside a porcelain container of some sort. I thought about smashing my way out, but then I have a moral epiphany, should I kill this innocent porcelain do'hickey or search for a more diplomatic solution... Man... I am seriously messed up, better make up my mind.
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Last edited by Exmortis on Thu Apr 07, 2011 9:54 pm; edited 7 times in total
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Thunderbird
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| Posted: Wed Dec 08, 2010 5:59 pm Post subject: |
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Welcome to IF, Exmortis! Nice to see you diving head first. The best of us can often say we did.
We'll often give some critiques along the way... take them as constructive criticism, not downing.
To that end, there were some 'tense' shifts and perspective shifts that should be watched (and possibly edited a bit) here. Tense shifts being where one sentance is saying something in a past tense and the next in present and then back again, while perspective shifts being a sudden change from referring to the character as 'he' in one sentence and then 'I' in the next. I think where the latter took place it was meant to be an 'in thought' moment which can be easily expressed with italicizing that statement.
Otherwise, we have some interesting plot threads beginning here. Surely she's not going to shirk at exploration at a time like this, no matter how dangerous it may be.
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 CHAPTER 25: Near-Light Speed (NEW CHAPTER! (12/4/2011))
Zephyrrr! And...  
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PopeAlessandrosXVIII
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| Posted: Wed Dec 08, 2010 6:12 pm Post subject: I Think...... |
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This was rather confuseing. Like Thunder-kun said, the tenses and the perspective switches threw me off. And, um, who's Markus? He seem's to have just popped up out of nowhere...I thought the guy's called Alex.
I like the concept so far, could use a bit of flesing out. But it looks like a good start! Can't wait to read more. As for what to do.......Well first off, we have no idea if any of the stuff around her has any significant meaning, or what she personaly is like, BUT! I'd say look for a sound ruin to at least call home base, then do a spiral out from that point to explore...Maybe wait til the sun comes up, be safer that way
Welcome, and good start!
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Exmortis
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| Posted: Fri Dec 10, 2010 8:45 am Post subject: |
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There, I am finished.
Note that the perspective characteristics attached to each character are different. I did this to emphasize that each character views this world differently.
Moving on, thank you for your comments. I will begin refining them into a poll; after a few more comments come in.
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Crunchyfrog
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| Posted: Sat Dec 11, 2010 11:28 pm Post subject: |
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So, the theme is that they are all waking up in weird places... and the last one, Nicholas is in first person. Here is our main character.
I'm intrigued about the vessel he's trapped in. Was his body forced inside it when unconscious, or did he materialise inside it? Can he reach up to the neck of the thing, and see whether or not it would have been impossible for him to have entered it via the opening?
If that is the case, the only way he could possibly get out would be to smash his way out. But first, I think he should feel about inside it and see if theres anything in there with him, and listen to try and work out what's going on outside this porcelain container first, to make sure it is safe before he tries escaping.
Welcome back, Exmortis!
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Exmortis
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| Posted: Sun Dec 12, 2010 6:42 am Post subject: |
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| Quote: | | Can he reach up to the neck of the thing, and see whether or not it would have been impossible for him to have entered it via the opening? |
That is the thing about first person, if they don't know you don't know.
| Quote: | | So, the theme is that they are all waking up in weird places... |
Don't worry friend, the plot is still in it's infancy, and as the expression goes, my sleeves are bountiful with trickery.
| Quote: | | and the last one, Nicholas is in first person. Here is our main character. |
No, they all are protaganists and are of equal importance, the story is about each one and how he or she develops in Terrene... I probably should stop; Spoilers.
As for the first person on Nick, I just wanted to make it so that he was closer to the audience.
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Exmortis
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| Posted: Sun Mar 27, 2011 4:38 am Post subject: |
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I am repurposing this story because I cannot get the poll to work with the current format of my story.
So. This is the format we are going with.
I need three clever people each with a unique personality qurk, which is pretty much anybody on this forum, to play as one of these three characters.
- Rebecca
- Jason
- Nicholas
I will be playing as Alexander.
Now, the story will be broken up into chapters. Each chapter will consist of a single post from each contributer based on the story outline.
I will begin each chapter by giving a story outline for each player to follow. Usually these outlines will describe the task or issue which you can work out and complete as you like . However, there will be situations where a give a player a outline in bold red text. This is a task vital to the story, as such, the final result is fixed in the story ( It cannot be changed ). However, you may choose how you get to this final point and how your character reacts to it.
One last thing, after each chapter a poll will open which will ask the audience whether they thought the chapter was good, average or bad. Posted comments are also encouraged.
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| Posted: Sun Mar 27, 2011 6:27 am Post subject: |
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| Hello I like your tale. I'll pateitly read it. at the moment I'm also drawing pictures for people, but the 3D is set on Thunders story... I do think that giving spaces between some of the paragraphs would help. So each is either human or like guyfawkes?? Well Good! I like to see your ideas for this one. So is this a DP story, if so yeay!
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Thunderbird
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| Posted: Sun Mar 27, 2011 9:05 am Post subject: |
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Might I suggest, simply rotating your chapters around the 3-4 character points of view, each one focusing on the next step of the story for the next character? This would keep the chapter lengths digestabile as well as allow for your individual polling for each character.
I think the audience can keep up with the fact that you're speaking simultaneously here. And when you have crossovers and multiple protagonists in the same chapter, you COULD run two polls - one here and one at a linked thread location.
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CHAPTER 25: Near-Light Speed (NEW CHAPTER! (12/4/2011))
Zephyrrr! And...
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worldtripper
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| Posted: Thu Mar 31, 2011 11:38 pm Post subject: |
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I agree with Thunder, I think you may be putting too much responsibility on potential readers. I would very much like to follow this one, I like stories with split perspectives. My suggestion is they should all find out whether or not they're alone. Then of course determine if they are friend or foe. Shouting or exploring may depend on the characters personality. 
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Exmortis
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| Posted: Thu Apr 07, 2011 1:02 am Post subject: |
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Poll - Chapter one
Alexander
Explore room: 50% [1]
Get to the exit 50% [1]
Who voted: fairywaif
Rebecca
Follow mysterious sounds into forest: 50% [1]
Find shelter for the night: 50% [1]
Who voted: fairywaif
Jason
Find help: 0% [0]
Stay put: 100% [2]
Who voted: fairywaif
Nicholas
Break free from container: 0% [0]
Do something else: 100% [2]
Who voted: fairywaif, Thunderbird
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Last edited by Exmortis on Sun May 01, 2011 7:51 pm; edited 4 times in total
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Thunderbird
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| Posted: Thu Apr 07, 2011 7:49 am Post subject: |
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You've gotta tell us when you're polling, buddy! I'm sure you'd have had a lot more votes there... somehow you even slipped my notice on most of them. And none of us realized you were polling four times, changing it without notice!
I ask for a rerun! But just do one at a time!
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CHAPTER 25: Near-Light Speed (NEW CHAPTER! (12/4/2011))
Zephyrrr! And...
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| Posted: Thu Apr 07, 2011 9:53 pm Post subject: |
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Sorry... I will fix it.
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| Posted: Fri Apr 15, 2011 5:05 am Post subject: |
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This story is now polling.
Please leave your comments and votes...
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| Posted: Sun Apr 17, 2011 10:17 am Post subject: |
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Alexander should explore the room he is in first. It might be important to see if there's any tools he can use.
Rebecca should explore the forest in the daylight. The ruins seem pretty deserted, so that would be a good place to spend the night, where she might more easily see any threats or hear them.
Jason should stay put. He's in no condition to move.
Nicholas should examine the container and try to find any weaknesses. He should also see if he can hear anything outside.
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Crunchyfrog
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| Posted: Sun Apr 24, 2011 3:06 pm Post subject: |
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| I'm not sure if I missed the poll?
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Exmortis
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| Posted: Sun Apr 24, 2011 5:38 pm Post subject: |
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It is still open... maybe until tommorrow morning.
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| Posted: Sun Apr 24, 2011 6:54 pm Post subject: |
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I was waiting for an actual poll to go up... but now I realize you're wanting us to vote in text. That said, you'll need to give me just a bit to review the information again.
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CHAPTER 25: Near-Light Speed (NEW CHAPTER! (12/4/2011))
Zephyrrr! And...
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| Posted: Sun Apr 24, 2011 9:57 pm Post subject: |
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Yeah... I decided this was the easiest way to fit all characters into one poll...
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| Posted: Sat Apr 30, 2011 9:59 pm Post subject: |
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| I'm still not sure what we're doing for this one? Are we leaving suggestions and voting at the same time?
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| Posted: Sun May 01, 2011 3:49 am Post subject: I think..... |
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*Raises hand* If I'm reading this right, I would like to volenteer to be Jason. He seems my type'a guy. If I'm wrong... well....I agree with the confusion of how to go about this....
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| Posted: Sun May 01, 2011 8:35 am Post subject: |
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Ok, to address the quad-poll here (which is tough to keep 4 dps in mind at once enough to vote on any of them, I might add),
1) Go for the door. The room seems non-descript enough.
2) Follow the music. Who wants to be out in the forest alone?
3) Make sure we're not too terribly wounded. But if we're on the road, we might wanna get off it, or to the side at least, CAREFULLY.
4) I like the idea of waiting for a bit. We don't sense movement, so it doesnt' seem toooooo threatening. Listen to see what we can hear and quietly probe around to figure out if there's something as simple as a latch that will free us.
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CHAPTER 25: Near-Light Speed (NEW CHAPTER! (12/4/2011))
Zephyrrr! And...
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Exmortis
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| Posted: Sun May 01, 2011 7:45 pm Post subject: |
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| Quote: | | *Raises hand* If I'm reading this right, I would like to volenteer to be Jason. He seems my type'a guy. If I'm wrong... well....I agree with the confusion of how to go about this.... |
For a time it was my intention to give three of the four characters to members of the audience.
By doing this, I hoped to achieve four unique personalities by having a specific member of the audience become one of the four characters; instead of me poorly trying to act out four characters at once.
Ergo, I began to design a method through which players could influence the story but at he same time had to base what they wrote around specific fixed points in the story.
However, Thunderbird and Worldtripper discouraged this idea and since I trust their experiance I decided to suspend this idea unless explict interest was displayed.
So I will ask again, perhaps clearer this time.
Would you guys like to take control of three of the characters in this story.
One person per character.
I have already reserved Alexander... because I am good with insane.
You would get the oppertunity to effect most events in the story and go in whatever direction you wish with your assigned character.
There are a few conditions however.
1) Stay with the tone of the story.
2a) General plot events = Follow them at you pace, you can influence them to a degree, you will get a Pm containing them.
2b) Critical plot events= Get to them Asap, never influence them, you will get a Pm contaning them.
3) If you leak the story to anyone not involved in it's production I will devour your soul.
On a final note.
You will not know everything at once. I will give you the story piece by piece and push you in the right direction. However, I do not know how you will colour this world and put the pieces together.
And that is half the fun...
That was my idea. Yes it puts a lot of trust in the people writing in those characters.
However, I trust you guys... well... most of you...
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| Posted: Sun May 01, 2011 9:11 pm Post subject: |
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If by taking control of a character, you mean determining what he will do at various junctures, then I will bite. Sure. I like Nicolas's situation, so I'll take him.
BUT... if you're asking us to WRITE the segments regarding them, I think you might be looking at a disaster I experienced myself with the Nuthouse. So I'd prefer if you're just looking for a player for decisions regarding the character.
Additionally, I would propose making one of them open to an open poll for everyone (one democratic character as it were). This gives everyone else cause to join in.
_________________
CHAPTER 25: Near-Light Speed (NEW CHAPTER! (12/4/2011))
Zephyrrr! And...
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