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Shillelagh
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 Posted: Sun May 15, 2011 1:55 am Post subject: Chapter Eight |
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Tempora Crepusculi - Chapter Eight
“I’m going to try and stay close to Alex,” said Yasik. “I don’t know how many of his frat brothers noticed the weirdness of tonight, but it seems like they leave him alone. I don’t think they’ll try anything funny to me if I’m around Alex; and anyway, he’d stand up for me if they did.”
“Well… yeah, that’s probably true, but would you please call Tony in the afternoon? I know that it’d be way too suspicious if you just left, but… Alex or not, I can’t begin to tell you how dangerous it is to be there. Especially Alex’s house.”
“Wait, what?” asked Yasik. “Why would that make a difference?” But Itori did not answer. He merely smiled knowingly as the increasing intensity of light blinded the world in a soft, pure whiteness. Yasik felt a brief moment of peace as he became one with the nothing.
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“-tell them to leave a friggin’ message. If you can’t call me at a decent hour, then don’t expect me to be sober!”
Isaac blinked in surprise. The shift back into reality had happened suddenly, and he felt a bit disappointed to be separated from the soothing white nature of the Grove’s sunrise. What was going on? That was Alex speaking, he had just said told him something about waiting for a call at midnight… so that was probably the rest of what he had been saying when the Crep interrupted him.
“Seriously, dude, are you okay?” asked Alex. “A response? Eye contact? Anything?”
“What? Oh, sorry,” replied Isaac. “I… it’s complicated. I appreciate your humor, I really do, it’s just…”
“Is Tony being prissy?”
“I…what?” Alex’s observation pierced through the white lies he had been trying to formulate as a cover story. Did Alex know more about the situation than he let on?
“Heh, I’m right, aren’t I? Well, you’ve been snubbing him more than usual over these past nights, and it seems like he’s been oddly clingy. Honestly, if I didn’t know any better, I’d think that Tony is gay for you. He’s like a queer little puppy, trying to follow your every move.”
“Well, that’s true…” replied Isaac. It seemed that Alex was clueless about the Crep, but really good about reading people’s feelings. It was a social skill that was both frustrating and useful. He wouldn’t be able to lie to Alex, but he could at least use easy to remember half-truths instead of invented stories about a psycho girlfriend.
“Don’t worry about it,” said Alex. “It’s just a phase. He’ll get over it once he realizes you aren’t joining the brotherhood. For all of his words, he hates the Greek life.”
“I… wait, I thought he was fine with you being in a fraternity. Has he approached you about it before?”
“Well… only in passing,” admitted Alex. “We’ve known each other since high school, right? When I decided to rush, he got really upset with me. It was worse when I pledged Mu Alpha Lambda. He came to terms with it a month or two later, but every now and then he’d get all awkward about it. When I got elected recruitment chair, he got prissy again. As if I was doing something wrong.”
“I…huh. I never noticed,” replied Isaac. “I mean, you guys are still friends, right? You don’t have problems hanging out with each other, right?”
“Oh, yeah, it’s fine. It’ll work out for you, too. He’s probably mad that you’re attending parties or something dumb like that. The moment he figures out that you haven’t changed, he’ll back off.”
“I’m not worried about that,” said Isaac. “He’s been-“
“How are we doin’ over here? Good night? Buzzed yet? We on for tomorrow, Alex?” Matt approached the two of them, pausing to rest his arm on Alex’s shoulder.
“Oh, hey, bro,” said Alex. “Yeah, we’re on. And I’m doin’ fine. Isaac here has got bromance issues, though. Dude insists on making a phone call at midnight. Can you believe that?”
“Really…” said Matt, staring at Isaac with cold eyes. “What an unusually specific time. I can’t imagine why someone would do that.”
“Yeah, I…” replied Isaac, staring at the floor. “I think he’s just trying to call in the middle of this party just to tick me off. But, midnight came and went and nothing happened at all,” he added, quickly. Was Matt acting suspicious, or was he just paranoid? “What about you? How’s the party been for you?”
“Ah, y’know,” said Matt. “It’s been good. I’ve been wandering around, seeing how everyone’s doing. Monica and Devin are back together. I give it a week.”
“You’re too kind,” said Alex. “Three days, tops.”
“Five bucks?”
“You’re on,” replied Alex, shaking the bet. “Have you seen Reggie around?”
“I haven’t, actually.”
“That’s because he’s passed out in the basement. He decided to follow up a five minute kegstand with some tequila shots.”
“Again?” said Matt. “It hasn’t even been two hours yet. The dude is embarrassing. I swear, if he…”
Isaac shook his head. He had no interest in the latest stories of people he’d never met before. He caught Alex’s eye, pointed at his phone, and pointed in the general direction of Alex’s room. He was tired, and all he wanted was to mull over the events of a very long evening.
“Oh, yeah sure,” said Alex. “No, wait, are you spending the night here? ‘Course you are, you’re drunk, and I’ve got your keys. I need you to sleep in the lobby tonight- If Devin’s back with Monica, she’ll be taking the couch. Roommate contract. Sex trumps. Sorry, dude.”
“Oh, ummm… I… well…” said Isaac, stuttering in alarm.
“It’ll be fine,” added Matt. “You can take the study room. It’s for books, not booze, so no one’s in there right now. My friends crash in there all the time. It’s semi-quiet, you should be fine.”
“I… okay, thanks,” said Isaac. He couldn’t leave the party; they had his keys, leaving him unable to unlock his own front door. He didn’t want to separate himself from Alex, but arguing the point would only further raise suspicions. It sounded like Alex had already made plans for tomorrow, which threw a wrench in his. There was no way he could justify cock-blocking Alex’s roommate without sounding creepy, especially since he wanted to act like the very tagalong that Alex had accused Tony of being.
He’d have to think about it later. He had obligated himself into leaving the room by pointing at his phone- if he tried to stall now, even Alex would realize that he was acting funny. With Alex’s room off limits, he didn’t have many options. Isaac retreated to the study, and laid down on the couch. To his pleasant surprise, he fell asleep within minutes.
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Isaac awoke to someone poking him repeatedly in the small of the back. He squinted around the room; sunlight trickled in through venetian blinds, reflecting off of the face of a grandfather clock into his eyes. It wasn’t even nine o’clock yet, let alone noon. He stared at a bookcase filled with fragments of six different encyclopedia sets. The study room of Alex’s frat. Right.
The stranger was still poking him. “Alright, enough, I’m awake,” said Isaac.
It was the creepy kid from before. “You need to leave,” said Jacob. “Now.” He held out his hand, revealing Isaac's keys.
"I...what?" said Isaac. "Alright, alright. Dude, calm down. Let me just..."
Last edited by Shillelagh on Sat Jun 11, 2011 12:39 am; edited 2 times in total
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PopeAlessandrosXVIII
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| Posted: Sun May 15, 2011 4:16 am Post subject: I Think...... |
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Yay! I took an hour and read the whole thing! *Grins* Muches loves! Not I gotta coment on the whole thing....
Very interesting concept. There are many teories on the matter of the existance of mythical beasts and such, and you approach it in an interesting manner. Waht's more, it makes a bit of sense! Quit a bit. I comend you.
*Huge happy grin* I have to say this, as it is just my nature, I PRAY Tony/Itori is gay. I keep seeing him as a big doe eyes pupptdog around our hero. I know all his actions could be explaind off for different reasons, but you really had my heart going with the "Passions of youth" coment a couple chapters ago. I did a little happy dance around the room before I could get past that line. Alex noticed it, and the council eluded to it. That and sayter......*Evil grin*  *Sigh* I know it'll prolly turn out different, but if you need any help in that department if you decide to go that way....I'd be more that happy to help! You've already noted about balancing the love/action in a story, but I just thought I'd put that out there.
I really look forward to where this story goes, and I pray more good muses in the future! As for the DP....
*Fanboy Side* Skedaddle out of there post haste and hunt down Tony. If you're getting kicked out, there sould be no susspicions! That and I'm sure Tony wouldn't mind the company. Even if you have to wake him up *Wink* *Wink*
*Storyteller Side* Tell Mr. J-ass to screw off, your sleeping. You plan on staying by Alex today, and if you're suppose to act like you know nothing about your second life, then you should react like any teen being so rudely awakend on a collage day after a night of drinking!
Over all, am loving the story, and pray you find an undescovered Idearium mine so you can keep your muse flowing! Keep up the good work!
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And my first Finished work Death Day
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D-Lotus
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| Posted: Sun May 15, 2011 3:36 pm Post subject: |
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Once again, I "caught up" by reading only the most recent chapter and ignoring the preceding ones, so I am at a loss as to why Isaac needs to stay with Alex. If it's important, though, then we have to stick to the task. Even if Jason gets in the way. Take the keys and pretend to be leaving, then sneak back in and convince Alex to hang out with you for the day. If nothing else, pretend you have an emergency and need his assistance.
Definitely see some homosexual tensions within this "bromance" (classic bro dialogue, btw, pulled off very well). You should explore that aspect in your story, because I think it's something that gets joked about in fraternities but always makes people uncomfortable when it stops being a joke.
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 Chapter 5: The Rendezvous 
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Thunderbird
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Crunchyfrog
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| Posted: Mon May 16, 2011 5:04 am Post subject: |
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*falls over*
Good to see another chapter! I enjoyed very much the dialogue between all the characters in this one. A complete contrast to the goings on of the chapter before. I did have to go back and read Chapter 7 to remind myself of a few things, and I'm glad I did, because Jaiknob seems to owe Isaac a favour.
Now, if this name similarity is consistent, and Jaiknob is Jacob - the guy who's handed him the keys, I'd do what he says.
Oh, and act hung over. Really hung over. 
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Thunderbird
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| Posted: Mon May 16, 2011 9:02 pm Post subject: |
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Ok, I read this. And it was good. But I'm a bit lost and will need to do a review read I think. One thing I would suggest after coming back to a longer story and trying to re-awaken the sleeping beast would be to write up a quick synopse for us - either that or weave in key reminders throughout the story. Some of that material can be ommited during a final edit through for a print version but for storygamin, I try to do a lot of reminding and I think it helps my readers.
One other thing I noted was that in general, while your dialogue is great, I think it would be helpful to add little 'characterization' notes along the way. It can be helpful to remember the characters by tiny quirks or repeated descriptions of key features. Try to make every character memorable by these frequently mentioned key details, like their hair style, the way they smile, the color of their eyes, and such. It can help us keep them in our minds as something more than just a name - personalities that come through in communication easily blend together when you have a setting where they are all peers from similar age groups like this.
This is just to be helpful as I don't think you really dropped the ball in any way here. And I really liked, as CF pointed out, the stark contrast between the social mechanisms displayed on the other side of the Crep and the 'real world' college-land.
Anyhow, why not wake Alex before going along? From the scenario I recall, there's a lot to be concerned about - particularly the things we do not know that we do not yet know. So I'd listen to this guy, yes, but don't go without Alex.
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 CHAPTER 25: Near-Light Speed (NEW CHAPTER! (12/4/2011))
Zephyrrr! And...  
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Tainted Biohazard
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| Posted: Fri May 20, 2011 7:53 pm Post subject: |
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I'm new here so I'm not sure what I should say really. But from what I can tell, it seems that we are forgetting that we are in the middle of the demon/evil lycan den. It doesn't surprise me that Jacob, who we can assume was the 'good' werewolf that was thrown against our crepesculi crystal back in chapter 1, has taken this action. Matt/Mettos (you spelled his name as Matos once a few chapters back, and he was the one who met us at the door when we arrived here) is surely plotting against us right now because the werewolves and demons that were here during the 'crep' would not be so stupid as to not immediately realize that we had been broken free from our prison by them during the first part of the crep.
I'm wondering a few things though. Who were all those dead bodies? It appears Humans aren't really existant on the other side of the crep and yet their dead were here scattered about the place, or were they not human at all? The description of the corpses ommited any reference to their 'species' so I'm to assume they were human? So how did humans get on the other side of the crep? Even dead ones? The demons and Lycans must be up to something there. Have there been any mysterious dissapearances recently? This is something we should be looking into. The recent local news may give us some clues there.
Alex is a tool. He knows nothing. But I wonder if the Lycans are looking to recruit him? Still, that can be addressed later.
Also, why did Matt allow Isaac to stay there without confronting him in the middle of the night? Perhaps dispatching of a potential emerging enemy right away? Demons don't seem to be the type to give any quarter. I read your answer to T-bird earlier on but if they are capturing people in the crep - wait - Is it that the Demons have figured out HOW to shatter those crystals then? Is that where the bodies are coming from? Is Isaac a rare survivor and a betrayal of the demons' secrets that they can destroy these crystals now? I would think if that was true, they would not be worried about the local authorities.
And this is probably why Jacob is now trying to get us out of there immediately. I'm surprised Isaac allowed himself to actually stay in that house for any amount of sleep - extremely foolish of him - um - us.
So go with him and quick! Screw Alex! Should have left already!
I'm liking this story, Shilelag. You have a very deep plot going here and its very unique. I would never have imagined such a plot! However, now that I'm getting to look around this amazing city - I'm overwhelmed with interest. I may have to try one of these for myself. Perhaps something a bit more - dark. Yes. 
EDIT: After answering the 'test questions' (by the way, how many others have done this so far?) I realized that it was the Freshmen, who were very alive during the party, that became corpses. So presumably, the Demons are very aware that they can destroy the crystals during the crep and may slay the humans during that time - but they don't stay dead when the crep ends. Would it work the same way in reverse? Is that why they don't care what happens to us here? This suggests that it is not 'harm' so much that we should be afraid of but being put to question.
So what does it serve them to kill people on that side? Surely they would desire to tear the crep apart eventually - and if that were to happen, I'm thinking that those murdered people would suddenly drop dead where they stood. I wonder if they've already done this to the local police and such. How many people actually have surviving crystals still?
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Thunderbird
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| Posted: Sat May 21, 2011 11:01 pm Post subject: |
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wow... a very detailed response there Bio. Welcome to the City of IF! Nice to see someone taking advantage of the catch up challenge right away too.
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CHAPTER 25: Near-Light Speed (NEW CHAPTER! (12/4/2011))
Zephyrrr! And...
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Smee
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| Posted: Wed May 25, 2011 10:19 am Post subject: |
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Yep - a little lost myself here, but Tainted's most comprehensive comment has helped considerably.
Getting out, and quick, seems a very good idea. We need safe ground to gather our thoughts and think about our next actions, before calling Tony a bit later.
Good to see this moving again 
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Shillelagh
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| Posted: Fri May 27, 2011 12:01 am Post subject: |
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I'd like to wait and see if anyone else is tempted by the Catchup Challenge before I throw up the actual poll. But, these are the options I see so far.
Leave. Now. Find Alex later.
Wait for Alex, and leave with him.
Leave now, and meet up with Tony.
Listen to Jacob. Leave, and figure out the next step.
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Ihniwid Chapter 5 is up- find it here!
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Kalyssa Summers
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| Posted: Sun Jun 05, 2011 11:38 am Post subject: |
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<3 I just finished an intense marathon over 2 days (mostly at night, muaha) reading this story- and I loved it!! I need to re-read this again, take a break and come back to it, to be able to critique it. It is very good, the plot is excellent, but I do feel there is room for improvement.
Shillelagh, I just sent you a PM answering the Catchup Challenge. I wasn't sure if I was supposed to post it here, too, but after reading the bid thread for the Catchup Challenge, I re-thought that haha!
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Ingrothechundyer
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| Posted: Sun Jun 05, 2011 12:24 pm Post subject: |
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Unfortunately we have far more questions than answers at this point. While taking our maybe impulsive werewolf friend's advice to run might be the best plan I have to wonder how the Fey council is going to react if we pull out of they mission they gave us so fast.
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Shillelagh
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| Posted: Mon Jun 06, 2011 9:00 pm Post subject: |
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...And the poll is live!
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Ihniwid Chapter 5 is up- find it here!
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