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Smee Revered IFian
Joined: 16 Oct 2004 Topics: 166 Posts: 5215 Location: UK Items Legends
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Posted: Fri May 20, 2011 11:50 am Post subject: Notes of Amusement! |
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By an unknown author by the name of DRSmith from Writing.com.
Reading this really made me giggle :
Mild language warning!
A Manly Thing?
Across the bar from where I sit
I'm list'ning to a sexist snit.
Both biased in their attitudes
Toward male and female aptitudes.
“Oh yesh men are, you pampered prig,”
“Shez who,” she belched, ”you macho pig.”
Thus back and forth their spat ensued,
When crudely boasted drunken dude.
“One manly thing you must agree,
Higher than you, a man can pee.”
“I’ll tell you what,” she poked his chest.
“Let’s go out back and see who’s best.”
'Tween tipsied pair I've been viewing,
A pissing match is surely brewing.
I have no clue how she’d compete,
But truly has my int’rest piqued.
Hence, I followed to alley way
To sneak a peek and watch the fray.
“I'm first," she said, "you puffed-up creep.
Now step aside, then watch and weep.”
Hell bent to end their sexist wars,
She lifted skirt and dropped her drawers.
Then arching back she wet the wall;
Whizzed half as high as he was tall.
“Beat that, you twit, as you can see
I’d managed quite a lofty pee.”
“Ha ha, not bad for ditsy blonde,
Now comes the champ with wicked wand.”
But as he pulled his weapon out
And aimed it high about to spout,
She tapped his arm and said so sweet:
“Uh, ah-h— like me: no hands, can't cheat.”
His manly pride just hung exposed.
Nary an inch his pistol hosed.
“Oh well," she smirked, "looks like you lose,”
And left him mute with soggy shoes. _________________ The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the Devil's own Satanic Herd!
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PopeAlessandrosXVIII Arts and Poetry Mod
Joined: 10 Oct 2010 Topics: 122 Posts: 1858 Location: Surrounded by many beautiful naked men Items Legends
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Posted: Fri May 20, 2011 12:06 pm Post subject: Sis Post |
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Sis: OMFG yes! Power to her! _________________
To Be A Knight
And my first Finished work Death Day
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D-Lotus Venerable IFian
Joined: 21 Oct 2004 Topics: 103 Posts: 4123 Location: Hollywood, USA Items Legends
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Posted: Fri May 20, 2011 12:07 pm Post subject: |
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Ha-ha! That's pretty good. _________________ Chapter 5: The Rendezvous
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Guest
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Posted: Fri May 20, 2011 12:21 pm Post subject: |
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AHaha that's funny!
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Thunderbird Elder
Joined: 13 Sep 2009 Topics: 104 Posts: 2139 Location: Rising from the ashes Items Legends
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Posted: Sat May 21, 2011 10:26 pm Post subject: |
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Oh YES that was HILLARIOUS! And it was an excellent example of a great many things D was discussing in his earlier crit too.
Also goes to show that we can be very direct with poetry, using very little 'speaking between the lines' and still be quite successful with it. _________________
CHAPTER 25: Near-Light Speed (NEW CHAPTER! (12/4/2011))
Zephyrrr! And...
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Smee Revered IFian
Joined: 16 Oct 2004 Topics: 166 Posts: 5215 Location: UK Items Legends
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Posted: Thu Jul 14, 2011 5:42 am Post subject: |
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In comment to a BBC news article about declining spelling skills amongst young British workers someone copied in this little poem which amused me.
Beware the dangers of a spell checker!
Eye have a spelling chequer,
It came with my Pea Sea.
It plane lee marks four my revue
Miss Steaks I can knot sea.
Eye strike the quays and type a whirred
And weight four it two say
Weather eye am write oar wrong
It tells me straight a weigh.
Eye ran this poem threw it,
Your shore real glad two no.
Its vary polished in its weigh.
My chequer tolled me sew.
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Thunderbird Elder
Joined: 13 Sep 2009 Topics: 104 Posts: 2139 Location: Rising from the ashes Items Legends
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Vikas Muralidharan Respected Citizen
Joined: 29 Aug 2010 Topics: 30 Posts: 600
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Posted: Tue Jul 19, 2011 7:04 am Post subject: |
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The gender thing was funny but the spell check one was just...crazy!! :O _________________ Vikas Muralidharan
Be sure to read HATE in Romance section
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Tatkret Sos Resident
Joined: 10 Nov 2009 Topics: 1 Posts: 74 Location: UK Items Legends
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Posted: Tue Jul 19, 2011 7:36 am Post subject: |
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Oh my god the first ones great LMAO!!! _________________
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Cyberworm Respected Citizen
Joined: 19 Aug 2007 Topics: 5 Posts: 652 Location: Spatially found, temporal lockdown. Items Legends
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Posted: Tue Jul 19, 2011 9:54 am Post subject: |
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GAHAHAHAHA!!! OMG! Smee, I think you deserve 2 legends for this thread! And if nobody objects, I shall award them! _________________ Slit and Slide
One man's journey through the possibilities of solving what he says is a murder. What was it? Try not to forget.
Beyond Good and Evil
Could it be that being good is not good at all?
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You cannot post new topics in this forum You cannot reply to topics in this forum You cannot edit your posts in this forum You cannot delete your posts in this forum You cannot vote in polls in this forum
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