Jester Park

From IFki


Formerly known only as 'the slums', this territory lies in the heart of the Laboratory district. For years, noxious fumes filled the streets, insane cackling echoed through the alleys and the custard-pie pits held unimaginable terrors for the unwary. Strange beasts roamed - the results, not only of gene-splicing experiments and massive water pollution, but also of improperly maintained sewers.

It was said: do not venture into the slums alone – and never at night:

“From lurchers and waddlers and verminous beasties;

And things that go ‘squawk!’ in the night;

May the good Mayor protect us.” (Excerpt from a well-known IFian nursery-rhyme)

However, as the time passed, and the City of IF grew more prosperous (not to mention more heavily-populated), developers began to look upon the slums and smile strange smiles.

‘We could improve this place,’ they said to themselves, followed by the much more important thought, “…and there could be money in it!”

So it is that we have seen a demolition of the slum tenements and a determined shoo-ing of all the sad creatures born of failed experiments.

The factories promised to cease their output of strange chemicals (although all that achieved is to make them add a little lavender oil to the smoke- drastic measures had to be taken before real improvement was seen- usually involving vast pillars of pure energy and occasionally unsuccessful even then).

The legendary sewer maintanance crew finally, after many months of struggle, made Jester Underground into a stylish subway system/bowling alley with delightful behind-barrier decorations made from the combined efforts of thousands of Jester Park dwellers!

In place of the squalid slums, a great park had been erected.

It was filled with trees and lakes and pretty cobbled paths.

Or that was how it was intended, anyway…

Giant moles dug their way through some of the beautifully and carefully crafted paths. The trees twisted into extraordinary shapes and colours, due to the poisoned soils that they feed from.

Many of the ousted genetic experiments made their way back to their original habitats and lurk in the strangest places.

Even more disturbing, a black portal opened up in the grounds, leading to a dark mirror universe of IF. This led to an large influx of bizarre creatures into this world, many quite unpleasant... only recently has it been closed, and whether it will remain so is uncertain.

So far, it seems Jester Park is a success... in a twisted kind of way.