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Masterweaver Honored Citizen
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Posted: Sat Dec 02, 2006 4:02 pm Post subject: |
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He screams dramaticly and kills himself because he doesn't want to go on living like this. _________________ Sarothen, Mesoli, Gerastro
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Alegria Honored Citizen
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Posted: Sat Dec 02, 2006 4:04 pm Post subject: |
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That was a fast response. _________________ A writer doesn't solve problems. He allows them to emerge.
-Friedrich Dürrenmatt
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Posted: Sat Dec 02, 2006 6:16 pm Post subject: |
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Alegria Honored Citizen
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Posted: Sat Dec 02, 2006 6:52 pm Post subject: |
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Thank you, I'm thinking about converting it into play form and asking our theater arts teacher if we can do it as a play.
Witha narrator for the poetic writings (also my favorite in this story, if I do say so myself) of course
EDIT:
[shameless advertising]If you like it so much, I could use a second in the SGotM competition[/shameless advertising] _________________ A writer doesn't solve problems. He allows them to emerge.
-Friedrich Dürrenmatt
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Masterweaver Honored Citizen
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Posted: Sat Dec 02, 2006 6:54 pm Post subject: |
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THeatre! Yay!
Maybe he is the fiddling type, y'know, "i'll let this grow just to see what happens..." _________________ Sarothen, Mesoli, Gerastro
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Alegria Honored Citizen
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Posted: Sat Dec 02, 2006 6:59 pm Post subject: |
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Your special er, talent, for pasting as soon as I make my reply needs a name:
Hyperpostivity
And your other talent for replying as soon as I log off, making me log back in again:
Parapostivity
(oops, this is , sorry) _________________ A writer doesn't solve problems. He allows them to emerge.
-Friedrich Dürrenmatt
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Posted: Sat Dec 02, 2006 7:18 pm Post subject: |
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Alegria Honored Citizen
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Posted: Sat Dec 02, 2006 7:32 pm Post subject: |
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My apologies, school has been more nuts this year than Freshman year was. Lucky thing is that the holidays and winter break are near, and the second semester is never as hard as first in my school.
I've just not had that much time, unfortunately. _________________ A writer doesn't solve problems. He allows them to emerge.
-Friedrich Dürrenmatt
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Posted: Sat Dec 02, 2006 7:34 pm Post subject: |
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Geek_girl72 Respected Citizen
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Posted: Mon Dec 11, 2006 5:10 pm Post subject: |
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Hmmm...It seems to me that this act on Freddy's part convinces him that he really is a good person, after all, he just saved someone he hated, right? To someone crazy, this reinforces everything instead of weakening it. He is now a mayter in his own eyes, and Jimmy is worse for being the cause of his pain. Now he has physical pian to add to mental torment that has been 'inflicted' on him. I say he pushes Jimmy back and tries to take care of himself. _________________ "My candle burns at both its ends, it will not last the night;
But ah, my foes, and oh, my friends, it gives a lovely light!"
-Edna St. Vincent Millay
Whodunnit?On hold till further notice
I Don't Believe in Fate: Chapter 13 is now released
Lost n' Spacey On hold till Further Notice
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(='.'=)This is Bunny. Copy and paste Bunny
(")_(")into your signature to help him gain world domination.
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Alegria Honored Citizen
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Posted: Mon Dec 18, 2006 7:18 am Post subject: |
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Nice
COme on, more posts please! _________________ A writer doesn't solve problems. He allows them to emerge.
-Friedrich Dürrenmatt
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Geek_girl72 Respected Citizen
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Posted: Tue Dec 26, 2006 8:09 pm Post subject: |
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Wait, I say he is in a state of shock and doesn't do anything, Jimmy takes care off him, which makes feddy hate him all the more for the above reasons, and because he seeings reciving help from his 'enemy' as demeaning. _________________ "My candle burns at both its ends, it will not last the night;
But ah, my foes, and oh, my friends, it gives a lovely light!"
-Edna St. Vincent Millay
Whodunnit?On hold till further notice
I Don't Believe in Fate: Chapter 13 is now released
Lost n' Spacey On hold till Further Notice
(\__/)
(='.'=)This is Bunny. Copy and paste Bunny
(")_(")into your signature to help him gain world domination.
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Masterweaver Honored Citizen
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Posted: Tue Dec 26, 2006 8:22 pm Post subject: |
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Guess what? THIS THREAD LIVES ON!
F5 GG. But add (and this is to get masculenity out) blood. _________________ Sarothen, Mesoli, Gerastro
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Alegria Honored Citizen
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Posted: Thu Dec 28, 2006 7:20 am Post subject: |
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Okay....
Next? _________________ A writer doesn't solve problems. He allows them to emerge.
-Friedrich Dürrenmatt
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The White Blacksmith Elder
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Posted: Sat Dec 30, 2006 12:44 pm Post subject: |
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How about... he just dissmisses it as a whim, a leftover from childhood, and carries on with his plan.
Oh, and I noticed a few inconsistancies in this...
Firstly, he wouldn't return to parliament immediatly. He would probably be in a hospital bed or something.
Secondly why do we need to necide what he does when you've already said he just thinks it's to prolong Jimmy's suffering? _________________
Tea Cures All.
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Alegria Honored Citizen
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Posted: Sun Dec 31, 2006 7:31 am Post subject: |
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Ah yes, that's his cover story, but, deep down, he knows it's a lie, so, does he arrogantly persist with the lie, or does he embrace the truth? _________________ A writer doesn't solve problems. He allows them to emerge.
-Friedrich Dürrenmatt
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Alegria Honored Citizen
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Posted: Thu Jan 18, 2007 2:34 pm Post subject: |
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New idea I'll drop the descision point, take the fine, and write a part two of this chapter. _________________ A writer doesn't solve problems. He allows them to emerge.
-Friedrich Dürrenmatt
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Geek_girl72 Respected Citizen
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Posted: Sat Mar 03, 2007 9:07 am Post subject: |
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Are you still planning to write a part 2, or did I miss the poll? _________________ "My candle burns at both its ends, it will not last the night;
But ah, my foes, and oh, my friends, it gives a lovely light!"
-Edna St. Vincent Millay
Whodunnit?On hold till further notice
I Don't Believe in Fate: Chapter 13 is now released
Lost n' Spacey On hold till Further Notice
(\__/)
(='.'=)This is Bunny. Copy and paste Bunny
(")_(")into your signature to help him gain world domination.
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Key King
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Posted: Sat Mar 03, 2007 9:13 pm Post subject: |
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Great story, Alegria! Sorry I'm just coming to it, and hope I'm not too late.
I think Freddy act of conscience will make him brood and reflect on what he's doing, but he can't turn over a new leaf without confessing what he's been thinking (and what he's done), and he doesn't have the courage to do that yet. So he'll hate himself for being "weak", and continue with his nefarious plans.
Whether he'll stick with his evil in the end is a decision for another time...
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Alegria Honored Citizen
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Posted: Sun Mar 04, 2007 7:08 am Post subject: |
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Polls up!!! _________________ A writer doesn't solve problems. He allows them to emerge.
-Friedrich Dürrenmatt
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Posted: Sun Mar 04, 2007 7:16 pm Post subject: |
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Welcome to your new forum Leggy. Please check it out and make sure everything is in the right place etc! _________________ Neil Hartley Books.
My Amazon page.
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Posted: Mon Mar 05, 2007 2:42 pm Post subject: |
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Voted for the first option,since the other three would seem to end this story, and I don't want it to end yet!
btw, congrats on winning Alegria! _________________ "My candle burns at both its ends, it will not last the night;
But ah, my foes, and oh, my friends, it gives a lovely light!"
-Edna St. Vincent Millay
Whodunnit?On hold till further notice
I Don't Believe in Fate: Chapter 13 is now released
Lost n' Spacey On hold till Further Notice
(\__/)
(='.'=)This is Bunny. Copy and paste Bunny
(")_(")into your signature to help him gain world domination.
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Alegria Honored Citizen
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Posted: Fri Mar 09, 2007 11:38 am Post subject: |
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I regret to inform you all that I will be out for a week skiing in Colorado.
I'll be thinking of new twists there. _________________ A writer doesn't solve problems. He allows them to emerge.
-Friedrich Dürrenmatt
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Posted: Fri Mar 09, 2007 5:00 pm Post subject: |
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I say the first one. Even after getting over it, jimmy would find out some other time... probably when something bad is happening, a time when you don't want to hear anything.
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Alegria Honored Citizen
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Posted: Mon Apr 09, 2007 5:22 am Post subject: |
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Polls are closed. Be ready for the next chapter! Stty it's taken so long, I'm trying to figure out if I want to start wrapping it up yet. _________________ A writer doesn't solve problems. He allows them to emerge.
-Friedrich Dürrenmatt
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Chinaren Hallowed IFian
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Posted: Fri Apr 27, 2007 6:45 am Post subject: |
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How's this going Leggy? We've not had a chapte in 4 months, which is kinda long... _________________ Neil Hartley Books.
My Amazon page.
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Posted: Fri Apr 27, 2007 8:38 am Post subject: |
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Alegria Honored Citizen
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Posted: Fri Apr 27, 2007 2:01 pm Post subject: |
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Today _________________ A writer doesn't solve problems. He allows them to emerge.
-Friedrich Dürrenmatt
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Alegria Honored Citizen
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Posted: Fri Apr 27, 2007 3:50 pm Post subject: |
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Sorry, deleted the chapter on accident. So here it is:
A Glass Friendship
Chapter VI
And even when there is a flaw in the web, the cunning spider may cover it up easily for a trusting fly by only spinning few more lies.
And many gasp at the indecency of lies while some laugh, others may just toss it to the wind and continue their journey further and further into the pits of torment and despair.
===============================================
Freddy balked, only for a moment, and looked at Jimmy, his hated "friend" for ideas. He may be a monster of a human being, thought Freddy, but he has some good ideas, occasionaly
Jimmy, though, was absolutely of no help. He stared, a look of fear in his eyes.
Time to take charge. Very well then, I didn't get into Parliment by bribery alone, I must have some leadership to speak of.
=============================================== Unfortunately for all involved, the mind of insanity, as we so well know, is also the mind of genius, and a genius Frederick was, so he put his demented mind to work, on a plan other than that of the destruction of his best friend. For the beast's mind was great, yet with every last thought, until his last, it destroyed his own carefully constructed illogical laws and falacies.
So it was with this plan. At first it was preceded by having Jimmy killed at that moment, but the suffering would not be of a great enough magnitude. He wanted, needed, Jimmy to suffer, to burn. To not only be tortured before death, but to break first, so he would evoke the eternal punishment thereafter.
Or at least, that is what Freddy thought of for an excuse later.
At that moment in time, when the mob burst through the door and Jimmy tried to reason with them, stepping forward, Freddy did not think. He instead leapt and blocked an incoming bullet with his shoulder, his blood coloring the cathedral floor scarlet.
The plan was not needed. No one had meant for anyone to die or be wounded, not in this uprising. The shock of the gun silenced the crowd instantly.
===============================================
So the beast was shown to have a patch of fur, but many beleive it was only a wig.
Jimmy rushed to Freddy's side instantly. "Someone get a doctor of medicine," he cried, ripping off his sleeve to stop the bloodshed.
He looked up, the parliment and the mob were standing, dumbfounded.
He stood and met the mob's eyes, "Please, I need a doctor."
Finally one woman rushed out of the cathedral to find a physician, and the crowd slowly dispersed, some wiping tears from their eyes.
Finally the physician arrived, and speedily mended Frederick.
===============================================
Freddy and his entourage stood with the French Parliment, the man who had first spoken with them apologizing profusely.
He didn't hear the pleas, he just turned it over in his mind, he had saved Jimmy, why? _________________ A writer doesn't solve problems. He allows them to emerge.
-Friedrich Dürrenmatt
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You cannot post new topics in this forum You cannot reply to topics in this forum You cannot edit your posts in this forum You cannot delete your posts in this forum You cannot vote in polls in this forum
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