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 Posted: Wed Mar 09, 2011 9:15 am Post subject: Chapter 16 |
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Chapter 16
Jack looks hard at the device for several seconds, memorizing what he can about the little world on display. Peter stares too, but his mind is miles away. Jake lays a hand softly on Peter's arm, startling him back to the present. “You can put it away now Peter.” Nodding numbly, he slides the device into his back pocket. “Peter's eyes fall once again on to the people suspended in the tubes. Cover his mouth, he slowly approaches them, Jack not far behind. Reaching up, he places his fingers on the glass of one of them. Inside is a girl not much younger than he.
Turning to Jack, he whispers in a voice so soft Jack has to strain to hear him, “We need to help them...” Jack nods, glancing over at the instrument panel. Walking over, he looks hard for any labeling, any writing whatsoever to tell him how to work the devices. With a sigh, he turns to Peter.
“I agree, but how? Nothing here tells me what any of these buttons do.” He sees tears gather in the corner of Peter's eyes. “We'll do what we can, ok? There has to be a way, right?” Sniffing, Peter nods, wiping his yes on the back of his sleeve. Pressing his fingers to the glass once again, they both jump as an alarm goes off. They both jump back, look wildly about for somewhere to hide. Before they can move an inch, thick mechanical arms with clamp like hands come down through the roof.
Jack freezes as one whips forward and hovers right in front of his face. He stares in-blinking into a blue-green glass “eye”. He hears Peter yelp as another arm does the same to him. A robotic voice booms out from above. -Unregistered humans. State your ID code.- Unable to respond, the two men remain silent. -Final warning. State your ID code.- Peter stutters out, “I-I'm P-Peter.” The glass “eyes” flash red. -Invalid ID code. Capture Protocol.-
Jack relaxes as the mechanical arm grabs him. 'No matter how much I fight, even I'm not strong enough to take on solid metal. As he gets drawn up through the hold, he sees Peter thrashing in the other arm's grasp. Afraid he'll hurt himself in the panic, Jack calls out, “Peter! Calm down! I don't think they're going to hurt us. At least not just yet. Relax and stop yelling. Please.” The pop star comes back in to sight through the hole, and Jack feels relived to see him no longer struggling. That is until he realizes Peter's no longer conscious. 'Damn it.' Jack curses mentally.
Looking around at the new room they've been carried into, Machines. Everywhere. More arms like the ones holding Peter and himself, as well as actual robots. Some zooming around like little cars, others almost humanoid. Jack's heart skips a beat as he sees several humans lain out on stark white tables, their chests open wide, but obviously still alive. He shudder as he watches a young boy's heart beat rapidly as a robot probes around his internal organs. The look on the child's face is most disturbing. Empty and hollow, the boy's eyes move around once in a while, but mostly just stare off into nothing.
Feeling himself being lowered, Jack looks down and sees Peter already strapped into what looks like a very uncomfortable dentist chair. Even after years of training to control his emotions and instincts, Jack can feel himself shaking as the metal restraints clamp down over his wrists ankles and around his neck. He stares ahead, unable to move his head. He feels panic rising in his chest as one of the robots approaches. The glass eyes mounted in a rudimentary head zoom in and begins examining him from head to toe. Gulping, Jack prays that the fate that lay before them is nothing like what they've seen so far.
***********
Sorry for the delays. I pray to get caught up today!
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| Posted: Mon Apr 11, 2011 2:49 am Post subject: Chapter 17 |
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Chapter 17
Taking several calming breath, Jack does his best to stay calm. Various machines come and go around his chair. One takes his blood, several others come and scan several parts of his body. With years of practice in self discipline, Jack comes to a state of detached interest, and simply observes all the things going on around him. A door, about fifty yards to the right of Jack hisses open and closed, sliding sideways to let robot like creatures enter and exit. Above, many mechanical arms reach from one side of the sterile white room to the other, occasionally slipping down through the hole they two had been lifted out of. Hearing a moan, Jack turns his head best he can, trying to catch a glimpse of Peter in the char beside his own.
Peter gasps as the blinding white of the room shocks his senses. Panic rises almost immediately, and he begins to struggle. “Don't fight it Peter.” He hears off to his right. “J-Jack? Is that you? What are they doing? Where is this?!” His stress rising with each question, Jack cuts through the stream of fearful babbling. “It's alright. Calm down. They haven’t done anything too bad so far. If you start making a scene, they'll knock you out again, and I need you awake if we're going to do anything about this.” At Jack's coolly logical statements, Peter feels his heart slowing down. He tenses as one of the arms comes down, but remains perfectly still as a wave of red light passes over his chest. The eye the light came from on the device almost seems to blink when the scan finishes.
After several more scans, the large grasping claws come down again. Picking up the two, Peter gets a glimpse of Jack before they practily launch off towards what looks like a solid wall. Biting his tongue, Peter stifles a scream at the sight of certain death they seem to be heading for. Clenching his eyes closed, Peter misses the wall sliding apart just before impact. By the time he gets enough courage to open his eyes, the two had passes almost a mile from the facility. Looking about themselves, they see the world in which they've fallen into.
All around are machines, of all shape and size. Some even look slightly recognizable. On pure metal highways, arching over and around building made of the same color metal, are what look to be cars. No exhaust comes out of the back as they speed along the near empty roads. What little ground they can see is covered in cement and what looks to be chrome plate. Off to the right, far in the distance, they can see a large read and gray globe like building, held up by impossibly thin legs. The surface seems to swirl and pulsate, the setting sun just off to it's left keeping the two from getting too good of a look.
Suddenly Peter realizes just how far above the ground they are. With a gulp, he calls back as loud as he can, “Please tell me not to look down.” Hearing this, Jack looks down. Watching various unidentifiable objects wiz past, Jack nods, “Yes, please do not look down. I don't need you getting sick all over me at this speed.” he yells forward. Peter actually smiles for the first time since arriving. The small touch of humor keeps his eyes forward for the next few minutes, which is all the time it takes for them to reach their destination. With a hollow sounding ~shthoomp~, the arms, and their passengers, fly into a hole on the side of one of the buildings, and begin slowing down.
A few more openings, and the humans find themselves in a large empty room, several meters above the cold metal floor. The claws sink down and deposits them surprisingly gently on the ground. The second he's released, Peter sinks to his knees, clutching his head. Jack rushes over, stumbling slightly. “Are you alright?” Jack asks, his voice thick with worry. Peter nods, still clutching his head. “Yeh, I'm fine, it's the room that has the problem...It won't stop spinning.” Jack smiles, glad that the pop star is well enough to be cracking jokes. Looking up, Jack watches the claws retreat back through the wall, which seals itself shut soon after with an audible ~click~. Peter, finally focused enough to stand, rises and takes a good looking around the room.
About the size of a football field, the walls are lined on the long sides with arch ways, approximately four feet apart. Jack pats Peter on the shoulder. “What?” he inquires, turning to the martial artist. Jack is pointing to one of the arches. Following the line of his finger, Peter spots what Jack wants him to see. Not far off the ground, a small face framed by short curly hair peeks out around the edge of the arch. Peter's jaw drops. Before the two can do anything, the room is suddenly crawling with other humans. None of which are wearing clothing. Peter moves a little closer to Jack, eyes wide as the people come out to inspect the newcomers. Jack can feels several small hands tugging at his clothing. Smiling, he pats a few of the children on the head.
The older humans in the group hang back. The oldest person Peter can see looks to be about thirty. Doing his best to keep his eyes on faces, Peter whispers to Jack. “What do you make of this?” Standing back to back with the smaller man, Peter can feel Jack shrug. “Perhaps the machines see clothing as unnecessary?” Suddenly, the whole group stills at the sound of a cough near one of the arches. The guys look over to find the source.
Their eyes fall upon a tall slender girl, twenty-five max, with the longest hair in the group. Small hands on their backs propel the two towards her. Beckoning them to follow she vanishes into the space beyond the opening. Looking at one another, Peter shrugs, and Jack holds his hands up in the 'After you' position. Peter follows her as close as he can, the tunnel nearly pitch black and filled with turns making it hard to keep track of their guide. After several minutes of silent traveling, they arrive in a small room. Blinking rapidly as his eyes adjust to the soft light of the room, Jack surveys everything in the area quickly.
Four cots clutter the limited floor space, each with a tiny flat white pillow, and a dull gray blanket. The girl, with practiced ease, slips around the small sleeping devices taking up most of the moving room, and on to the furthest cot from the door. She turns and looks at her guests. Pointing at the bed in front of the one she is perched on, she hisses out a soft “Sit” As soon as they comply, several others they hadn't noticed following them enter and crawl on to the remaining cots. Many more stand outside the doorway.
Feeling almost at home with all the eyes watching him, Peter speaks up. “Hi there. I'm Peter, this fine fellow here is Jack. Nice room you have here. I bet it's nice and warm on those cold nights. Anyway, Jack an I are new here, and have no idea what's going on with this place. Anyone here who can fill us in on that?” Peter's voice fades into silence, several of the observers look taken aback by the sudden rush of words. Jack drops his head, shaking it back and forth. Spotting this, Peter raises his hands, “What?”
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| Posted: Tue Apr 12, 2011 2:12 am Post subject: Nope |
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The Creator does not exist outside of Grargoth. And I find it amusing yuo call him a raven.....If you look at the chapter Fixing Things closely, you can get an idea of what the Creator looks like, as well as little hinds through his inane ramblings.
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| Posted: Wed Apr 13, 2011 4:29 pm Post subject: |
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I know what he looks like...hee hee hee
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| Posted: Tue Apr 19, 2011 2:55 am Post subject: |
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Wow... nice chapter...
I like robots  Lets see where this is headed!
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| Posted: Sun May 15, 2011 11:57 pm Post subject: |
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I like Robots too.... And can I regain control of Jack?!
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| Posted: Mon May 16, 2011 2:38 am Post subject: Chapter 18 |
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Chapter 18
The sound of light laughter draws the mens' eyes back to the girl before them. Her dark skin twitches with the represses giggles. Peter takes a deep breath and begins chanting in his head, 'Eyes up here, eyes up here, eyes up here!' Jack too has to remind himself to not let his eyes wander. When her mirth subsides, she lets her hand fall back to her side. Her face has become set in a firm grim stare.
“I can see from your clothing that you are new here. Not just to this city, but to this planet. There have been few visitors before now, and all had fled soon after arriving.” Her eyes slowly grow colder, the life seeming to drain out of them. “Before I tell you of our plight, I need to know. Do you plan to help us? Will you stay here and aid us here? Will you leave and find the resistance? Or perhaps...” Her eyes fall, and a small lightness comes to her voice. “Will you take us away from this place. I do not remember a time of freedom, but my elder spent many nights telling of what it was like before.” She looks up at Peter and Jack. “What can you do to save us?! Or will you abandon us like the rest....”
Lost in her own world of despair, she mumbles, "These machines claim to be working for us, and doing only as we commanded, but this is not right. We may live full lives here, but how can we truly live cooped up in warehouses and test tubes?!" With a sniff, she says, "Their reasoning is so flawed from what was initially their purpose...."
Jack raises a hand, bringing her words to a halt. Peter feels himself tensing at the look on Jack's face. The martial artist's hand comes down to rest on his knee, and he takes a deep breath and holds it a few seconds before letting it out. Doing his best to smile he says, “I would like to help you in any way I can, but I am note sure how. I can not speak for Peter bu-” Peter's voice cuts across Jack's words.
“I want to help too! What's going on here is despicable!” Peter takes a deep breath, ready to rage on, but Jack settles on his shoulder, calming him in a fatherly manner. The star starts mumbling to himself inside his mind, but looks over at his companion, listening intently. Many eyes about the room are sparkling in a almost joyous manner, but most seem to remain skeptical.
Jack grins at the younger man's outbursts, then looks back at the girl. “You say that the machines had an original purpose. What can you tell me of that original purpose?” The girl sighs, looking down at her toes.
“The idea was simple, but grand.” Her voice resonates in a way that makes it seem like she's reading off a well practiced script. “If only we could discover what makes us the way we are, we could surely fix it. Think of it, no more violence. No more destruction. No more needless bloodshed. If only we could cure this human condition that drives us to destroy, anything and everything, the world would be a true utopia.” The girl looks up, her eyes shining with tears. “My grandmother made me memorize that as a child. It was what the Scientist had said just before activating the first of the machines when she was a child. It wasn't more than a year before they made their first 'breakthrough'. By the end of the next year, the Gathering began.”
Jack nods, leaving the rest of the story to imagination. He presses is hands against his eyes in thought. Peter looks around at the others standing around, and notices one man in the back of those gathered around the door. His eyes shifting from the hall to the girl and back again in rapid succession. Peter taps Jacks arm, trying to get his attention. Jack lifts his head. Looking over at his companion for a moment, he follows Peter's line of sight. When the man realizes he's being watched, he taps the shoulder of the boy in front of him. As if by some silent command, the entire group in the entrance parts so that there is a clear path between the newcomers and the man.
The girl looks up, and the two not to each other. The man motions for the two to follow. Peter looks back at the girl, and she makes the shooing motion. Peter can feel a rush run through him, and without a word, grabs Jack's sleeve and drags him towards the doorway. “What? Why?” Jack whispers to the star as the man takes off down the hall, Peter hot on his heels with Jack trotting along beside him.
“I have a feeling,” Peter whispers back, “Just go with it, kay?” Bows furrowed, Jack nods. With a grin, Peter speeds up, trying to catch up to their new companion, and failing miserably in the dark passages they're running through. They soon come to a small shaft, leading up. The man, tossing his long brown hair over his shoulder, laces his fingers together and nods at them. Peter stands, dumbfounded, so Jack take initiative. Taking a few quick steps, he steps on the mans bracing fingers, then launches himself up through the hole with a little boost from the man. Peter swallows, having never been good at sports, decides to give it the old collage try.
With not so much grace, he manages to get into the shaft with only a small bang to his left knee. Jack chuckles at him before putting an arm through the hole to help the man up. After a long climb, and many twists and turns, the group arrives at dead end, with a trap door on the ceiling. The man finally takes a break. Breathing hard, he look at the two newcomers. “My name's Jared. I'm part of the rebel group in this sector.” Peter holds his hand out for a handshake, but Jared just stares at the outstretched appendage. Brushing off Peter attempt at friendliness, the man whispers, “When we get above ground, the slightest sound could give away our position. So, no talking, and watch your feet. Got it?” The two nod, Peter a bit let down over the failed handshake.
Slowly pushing open the large trap door, it opens with surprising ease, and silence. The group emerges on to a large open area. Expanses of metal sheets spread out in every direction underfoot. In the distance, large buildings and roadways tower high above, many looking unused in years. Jared motions for them to follow him, and he heads off slowly towards a nearby building. Decaying and covered in dead moss and vines, Peter can't help but recoil from it's creepy looks. He moves close to Jack, trying hard to not whimper. Jack smiles. 'With all that's happened, the star stays true to form. It's too funny' He chuckles to himself silently. As soon as they enter, the moldy old door closes behind them. Peter manages to hold back a whine at the sudden darkness, but is unable to contain a yelp at a sudden light revealing a large group of men and woman.
Every one of the men and woman look at Peter with fearsome eyes, but the moment only lasts an instant. With a loud crunch, the roof and upper floors of the building are torn off. Peter clings to Jack, shielding his eyes, while Jack look sup to see the large mechanical arm that had destroyed the building. White and black metal gleam in the failing light of evening as a swarm of flying bots descend and begin netting the group of people. Jack and Peter are scooped up with the rest of the humans. Jack lets Peter cling to him while they're picked up and the large arm begins ascending the nearest roadway. He watches as building after building rushes past, each one becoming more and more advanced. He taps Peter's shoulder and points ahead.
Looking over his shoulder with some difficulty, he spots what his companion had indicated. The red and gray building on stilts they’d seen earlier is coming closer and closer. The two look at one another and then back at the building. Every second that passes brings them closer and closer to what they see as their impending doom.
With a rush, they pass through one of the walls into the building less than a minute later. The lights and sounds they here for the first few seconds dull to a low hum as they are deposited on the floor. The locals stand slowly, glaring up at something overhead. Jack help Peter to his feet before looking to see what they're gazing at. Peter's jaw hits the floor at the site. The pale red glow of the massive orb bathes the room in a eerie iridescent light. Tubes and wires of every size, like mutated tendrils, sprout out of all but about 6 square feet of the pulsating globe. The lines seem to be what's keeping the thing suspended in mid air. Each protuberance sprouts off in different directions, passing through the ceilings and walls of the otherwise bare chamber Jack represses a shudder as a strange, eye-like semi circle appears in the free space between wires.
The cold blackish gray iris whips around the room, looking at each of the mortals before it. Without warning, one of the many and fall towards Peter. Scrambling back to avoiding being hit, the tendril suddenly snaps forward and wraps around the stars arms. With a high yelp, he is quickly pulled off the ground and thrust seemingly through the eye, into the glowing orb. Jack, unable to grab his companion in time, curses himself in every language he can think of.
~~~~~~~~Inside the Orb~~~~~~~~
Peter's mind races, fear and adrenalin forcing him into one of his oldest habits. 'A hot babe next to a fireplace. A nice steak after a complete tour. My cheering fans as I come back for an encore. A day at the beach with a good book. A night alone at home with the new Gackt CD. Laying on the deck of my yacht counting stars. A new record contract.' His mind continues on, thinking of all the tings that make him happy. The effect causes him to relax, and completely ignore the feeling of something probing his thoughts. After several minutes, a question seems to echo through his mind, and all around his body, -What makes you happy?- Forcing his mind to focus on the question, Peter replies with one simple answer, “Peace”. Unsure if he'd said it aloud, or just thought it, the single word echos all around, sounding much softer than the previous voice. A gentle feeling, like a caress, touches every part of the star's body all at once, and his mind goes blank.
~~~~~~~~~Outside the Orb~~~~~~~~
Jack waits, stiff jawed, his eyes locked on the shifting surface of the thing that had taken his partner. For several minutes, he surface remains rather calm, the suddenly, the entire object flares bright green. The locals shield their eyes against the radiance, but Jack keeps his eyes locked on it's now turbulent surface. Suddenly, Peter reappears. Jack rushes forward, taking hold of the unsteady figure as soon as he's within reach. The awkward duo take a few stumbling steps away before the orb “speaks”.
-This one shows no sign of the disease. We have taken a sample of his genetic code, and will begin work immediately-
“So that's why my ass hurts. Good to know...” Peter mutters, still quite out of it.
-When the vaccine is complete, we will administer it at once. Will you comply?-
The question, obviously poised at the locals, causes several of them to look up fearfully at the Orb. A few of the men begin objecting, screaming demands for freedom, and eradication of all machines. Jack, seeing the self destructive the men are throwing themselves down tires to reason with them. “Listen. I can't begin to understand what you've all been through, but I do understand the feeling that you need revenge for the wrongs against you. Please, believe me when I say it is all for naught. Revenge will not heal your wounds, only time and understanding will. Please!” The raise in Jacks voice piques to a desperate note with his final word.
“I refuse to become some docile drone for these machines!” One red head cries. “I will not let my father's suffering go unavenged!” A small girl screams. Jack shakes his head at their bullheadedness.
Suddenly, Peter pulls away from the man supporting him. With slow, unsteady steps, he makes his way over to the closest man and grabs his shoulder. His voice is low, but everyone in the room can hear him clear as day. “Have you ever felt the shear heaven of laying beside a woman you care about, her smooth skin dancing with firelight?” Not waiting for an answer, he moves on to the little girl. “Have your ears ever felt the gentle caresses of a lyrical tenor voice telling you how much love has brought him such joy that life itself pales in comparison?” A few more steps, and he takes hold of a woman's hand, cupping it between his own. “Have you ever lain on a ship in the middle of the ocean, and had not a care in the world, the stars seeming to sparkle just for you?”
Peter turns, and begins making his way back to his companion. Jack is forced to catch him as he stumbles a few feet away. The young man turns, looking over the gathered captives. His voice takes on a shadow of it’s old demanding self as he continues. “You speak of past wrongs, and mindlessness. Can none of you look to what joys you have in your futures if you'll just give up on these stupid, selfish misconceptions? Have you become so used to you shackles that you fear to shed them?”
Peter's questions drift through the gathered individuals. Each one thinking over what the stranger had said, one by one they say, “I will comply.”
As each one speaks, their voices seem to get more and more distant, the air around the foreigners feeling ticker, and seems to be pulling them upwards. Too exhausted to care, Peter makes an only vague observation of a voicing ringing out from his pocket saying, -Now returning to Grargoth, the City Between-
+++++++++++++
I hope you all enjoy the fruits of a sleepless nights heavy labore....I should be on to the next, NON heavy chapter soon. *Bows* Thanks for your patience. And yes Vikas, I'll begin mailing your DPs to you again! Happy thoughts!
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| Posted: Mon May 16, 2011 2:48 am Post subject: |
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| Posted: Mon May 16, 2011 9:47 pm Post subject: |
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AWESOME!!!!!
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| Posted: Mon May 16, 2011 9:48 pm Post subject: |
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| i love this!!! =D good job, Pope!
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| Posted: Wed May 18, 2011 3:27 pm Post subject: |
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Heya, I caught up! I find the story awesome so far, and I'd like to catch the train if it's not too late yet!
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| Posted: Thu May 19, 2011 5:17 pm Post subject: |
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Awww Peter
Nice chapter pope
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| Posted: Fri May 20, 2011 12:03 pm Post subject: Chapter 19 |
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Chapter 19
AH! I feel a tear. This isn't good! I move to the opening of the Center and launch myself into the air. My wings beat, strong and steady as I head for the tear. I can't let more come in now unless....My mind drifts over the tear, only one has entered. One, or good strength. My flight slows. Perhaps I will wait to seal the hole for now. Yes yes, let me see. Let me watch....
______________
Shadow stumble backwards through a spacial hole he did not create. The brightness of the day blinds him as he transitions from night to day in an instant. “What? Where has this sunlight come from?” The hole, having formed less than 4 feet from Raphael, thrusts the newcomer almost right into the timeless gentleman.
Hearing the dark one's exclamation, he lets out a single 'Hah' Before saying, “ know exactly how you feel my friend. I had the same problem.” Shadow whips around, immediately wary. Raphael holds his hands up in a nonthreatening manner. Tugging his new outfit straighter, Raphael looks over the new arrival. Sensing great power, he decides on trying for an ally. 'This place is strong. I may need help conquering it'
Shadow too surveys the man before him. 'I sense strength, but also, a kinship. It is an odd feeling indeed' Still slightly unsettled, Shadow reaches forward to touch hands with the man before him in greeting as is his custom. Raphael stares for a moment before imitating the stranger. “I have no name, but you may call me Shadow.” the dark one says as their fingers meet.
Raphael nods in response, “I am Raphael, Shadow, and it is all my pleasure to meet you.” Though mostly shrouded by hood and mystical black mist, an near imperceptible nod comes from Shadow. His black clad hand drops, and the he looks around.
“What is this place?” Shadow inquires, only a small note of wonder in his voice. The dark clothes he shrouds himself in seem to absorb the light around him. Raphael smiles at the effect, his ages of experience telling him there is much to learn about this.....person.
“Well, I was just about to ask this here just that question>” Raphael pulls his Aidl back out and raises an eyebrow as a second dot has joined his own. Holding the device out for both of them to see, Raphael contemplates.
___________
Yes, their much mightier together. Such strength. This can be used. This power, will go far...I zip around to their backs, there eye not perceiving me, and seal the hole most soundly. No more through here. Must remain separate. An not let all happen as will it be. Must gather......I fly high to look over my City.
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To Be A Knight
And my first Finished work Death Day
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Thunderbird
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| Posted: Sat May 21, 2011 10:14 pm Post subject: |
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I would like a bit more immediately delivered description of this 'Shadow'. Though you did weave some of it in, I felt it was a bit late. This is the first introduction of the character, is it not?
Otherwise, thank you for portraying Raph elegantly, like a wisened gentleman - well done on that!
I'll review my option now.
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 CHAPTER 25: Near-Light Speed (NEW CHAPTER! (12/4/2011))
Zephyrrr! And...  
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crazybookgal
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| Posted: Sat Jun 18, 2011 4:51 am Post subject: |
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Sweet though...I miss Melanie hint hint *hides in corner*  not to be pushy or anything
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It does not matter how many breaths you take, but how many moments take your breath away.
Check out my first storygame "Brandi's Story!"
"Five Bucks Can Take You Far" in Multiverse
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PopeAlessandrosXVIII
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| Posted: Mon Aug 29, 2011 12:29 am Post subject: Yo! |
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Since I have completely forgotton the order in which I was posting these, I'ma ask the participants to post here so I can reestablish an order. First to post goes next, and so on. Oki? Thanks guys. Sorry for ignoring this for so long!
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To Be A Knight
And my first Finished work Death Day
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Cyberworm
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| Posted: Mon Aug 29, 2011 1:31 am Post subject: |
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No probs.  We all have stuff to do now, unfortunately. :/
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Slit and Slide
One man's journey through the possibilities of solving what he says is a murder. What was it? Try not to forget.
Beyond Good and Evil
Could it be that being good is not good at all?
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Thunderbird
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Vikas Muralidharan
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| Posted: Sat Sep 03, 2011 9:18 pm Post subject: |
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Hello... Im posting as well!
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Vikas Muralidharan
Be sure to read HATE in Romance section
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kkdestiny
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| Posted: Wed Nov 02, 2011 9:52 am Post subject: |
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*cough* posting XD
(well, i figured i'd stick myself back on the site a little bit at a time...now if only i can find my flashdrive >.<)
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I now have three SGames! "Mist in a Cave" Chapter 5 is in the works
"The Freedom of Magic" Just got its THIRD chapter up!
Hope you all find the time to read them *goes off to look for an SG to read*
Note to self: The Elven Moon; Coin; SVI; Black Animals; Two Wolves; Angel Cat
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Cremuex Levier
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| Posted: Tue Jan 31, 2012 5:17 am Post subject: |
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Bold indicates edits, underlines are corrections. To find that area of text just use 'ctrl' button and 'f' at the same time to open the search bar and type the first bit of the sentence to find it highlighted.
Chapter two corrections:
He can't believe it. He, Peter Thornston, is going to be late. Flipping his hair blonde impatiently, he waits for someone to do something.
"Only one street over, they soon came withing sight".
Approaching the mass of people, they watch a flamboyantly dressed guy flail his arms about, yelling something about the nuthouse.
"Eheheheh” She giggles nervously and follows suit.
Looking him over closely she inquires, “You're....Peter Thornston aren’t you?” He nods, off in his own thought at the moment. Jack lifts a questioning eyebrow.
Jack staring at him patiently,
Chapter three corrections:
Unable to contain myself, I do a little dance of glee.
That my be a hindrance here within the city. (That MAY be a hindrance here within the city or THERE MAY be a hindrance here within the city. Take your pick)
But, unlike most mornings, in mere moments he found himself 'alive' again.
That wasn't there a minute ago'
Chapter four corrections:
Not moments before, she had been walking down an abandoned dirt road in the middle of nowhere. The sudden change in scenery giving her only a moments fright.
they are most definitely are NOT human (You might want to get rid of that second 'are'.)
Whipping around, she looks down at his invitation.
Chapter six corrections:
There's no way there are really castles that big in the world.
Running over the list in his head, he talk a minuet to do some translating. (He took a minute to do some translating.)
Chapter seven corrections:
What were those things I saw above here not a minute ago?
Chapter eight corrections:
Hand held steady over my invitation, I read her. Interesting.....F (Is there a purpose for this 'f'?)
Only days earlier she stood on her stoop, (what's a stoop?)
but the device had thrown her for a loop. (thrown her through a loop.)
Chapter nine corrections:
The man ran a hand through short, brown, tidy hair, chuckling.
Holding out an arm, he motions for her to take hold.
I haven't even asked your name!
the man takes a few moments beforeehe cann answer. (before he can answer)
Chapter eleven corrections:
so that only beings with a certain energys could pass through.
The energy that used to flow through the city like milk and honey, has all but disappeared from our streets.
she tried convince herself that she has the courage to do what she came here to do.
I'll mostly use these to exlain away improbabilities brought about by the City itself.
Fixing things corrections:
Catching my reflection in the glass, I do a little twirl.
Giggling at his response to it's sudden appearance
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Cremuex Levier
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| Posted: Wed Feb 01, 2012 3:22 am Post subject: |
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Chapter twelve corrections:
Lifting her hands to the sky, she can feel the sun's rays behind her her. (no second her)
My apologies, I simply wanted to help you understand.
Chapter thirteen corrections:
“Anything design in particular you'd like?” Raphael smiles, “Well...” (Any design in particular or anything in particular would do better then both the words)
Chapter fourteen corrections:
Nice to meetcha Sahrah. Sarah is a misspelling unless that's intentional.
Chapter fifteen corrections:
Both Iris and Jack stand, mouths open, apologies ready.
There is no way I'm traveling with stinky companions!
Peter's back is facing Jack, so he can't see the fact that his eyes are closed.
Propping his head on his interlaced fingers, he lowers his face so he's resting his forehead on his fingers. Glancing up at the little asian man,
Jack lowers his gaze to the carpet, but not actually seeing it.
Peter's gaze is broken only after Jack grabs one of his pillows and chucks it at the vacant eyed man.
Peter harrumphed and sad, “Thought so.”
Unable to refuse, they get ushered off to a booth.
Chapter sixteen corrections:
“Peter's eyes fall once again on to the people suspended in the tubes. Covering his mouth, he slowly approaches them, Jack not far behind. (There'e no point to the first quotation mark, nobody is speaking.)
and Jack feels relieved to see him no longer struggling.
Jack can feel himself shaking as the metal restraints clamp down over his wrists , ankles and around his neck. (use a comma to list)
Chapter seventeen corrections:
Off to the right, far in the distance, they can see a large read and gray globe like building, (Red and not read)
Jack can feels several small hands tugging at his clothing. (feel rather then feels)
Chapter eighteen corrections:
Her dark skin twitches with the repressed giggles.
He presses his hands against his eyes in thought.
The girl looks up, and the two nod to each other.
Peter swallows, having never been good at sports, decides to give it the old college try.
Breathing hard, he looks at the two newcomers.
The lights and sounds they hear for the first few seconds dull to a low hum as they are deposited on the floor.
Jack helps Peter to his feet before looking to see what they're gazing at. Peter's jaw hits the floor at the sight.
Without warning, one of the many and fall towards Peter. (I'm sorry, I don't understand, just what happened here?)
Chapter nineteen corrections:
[b]their[/b] eyes do not perceiving me,
And with that I'm official caught up to the story.
Don't worry about Alea Pope, she wasn't meant to be a main character so much as a support character or an additional race to the city to give a bit of flavour and depth.
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PopeAlessandrosXVIII
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| Posted: Sat Feb 25, 2012 6:37 am Post subject: Chapter 20 |
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Chapter 20
My eyes wander back to the pair from time to time as I do my rounds of my fair city. Fun this is, yes, and they are so curious. Such preparation makes me hopeful for them. My eyes dart left. Another tear. Away I go, I must leave them now. Perhaps a peek before I move on? Perhaps, maybe. . . .
____________
At Shadow's inquiry, the device lights up with a complex three dimensional image, and begins speaking in soft tones.
-Grargoth, the city between, is a space between worlds. Molded by the Creator long ago, it is filled with inhabitants from many of the worlds connected to it. Like a way-station, beings pass through with their wares, selling, trading, and bartering. Grargoth is also home to many races and species that no longer have a world to return to. Grargoth, the city between, also serves a much greater function to the worlds connected to it, but that information is restricted-
As it finishes speaking, Shadow moves in closer, his interest in this world growing slowly as the device speaks. Raphael blinks rapidly, quirking an eyebrow in question. “So, if that information is restricted, why not tell us what you can about this world. Such as it's layout and landmarks perhaps?” Raphael glances over at his new companion for a moment, a faint light of interest in his eyes. Shadow returns the glance for an instant before returning his attention to the device as it chirps and begins speaking once more.
-There are several mountains, volcanoes, rivers, lakes, an ocean, caves, plains, forests, hills, as well as many other terrains to accommodate all species living within Grargoth. If you were to fly to the top of the invisible dome covering Grargoth(About 12 miles up) you would only be able to see about 2% of Grargoth. The “World” the city is located on, is more an extensively complex illusion to help being from being overwhelmed as they step through the barrier from their world to the outskirts of Grargoth. Those crossing through an external barrier will pass into the area outside Grargoth without noticing the change.
Important city landmarks include, but are not limited to, The Battle Sphere Gardens, The Lab, Grargoth Central Bank, Festival Square, the homes of the Creator's children, and Center-
Raphael motions towards the wall of a nearby shop before wandering over and leaning his back against it. Shadow follows, propping up on one shoulder so he can keep his eyes on the devices three dimensional display. As it speaks the view shifts to show what it's describing in full color detail. 'So odd this device. Never have I such complexity in such a compact covering. I wonder how I may acquire such a thing . . .' Shadows mind drift for only a moment before returning to what the device is saying.
-The Battle Sphere Gardens is located in the dead center of the city. It is a collection of arenas for all terrain types so things like Lava Beings, and Merpeople can train and compete. The area surround the BSG are training grounds and ability shops, as well as battle gear and weapon suppliers-
The view passes through crowds of warriors, beast, and other such heroic, and not so heroic, figures lining a road filled with weapon and armor shops. The view then shifts upwards to take in the sight of a great translucent sphere surrounded by many smaller ones as well as several ground level tracks filled with beings from a multitude of races engaged in what seems to be mock combat.
-The Labs are where new technological devices and other such things are brought to be analyzed. Several of the buildings are also dedicated to making new tech using things brought from other worlds. Heroes can go here for all their technological needs aside from battle gear and weapons. Those are provided by the Lab Shop around the Battle Spear Gardens. The lab itself is along the outer wall on the east side-
In an instant, the view jumps to an airfield filled with an odd collection of vehicles. At a slightly too fast pace, the view dives into one of the nearby buildings and passes through labs filled with technological wonders. Mechanical, alchemic, sub-spacial, and genetic are but a few things the pair's eyes can catch before the view is once again outside. Shadow's hand jerks up, ready to try and play back the display. His hand freezes, still beneath the cloak. With a deep breath, he drops his hand back to his side. When Raphael shoots him a questioning look, Shadow just shrugs it off, the gesture nearly lost in the depths of his robe. Replying with a shrug of his own, Raphael returns his gaze to the device, Shadow following suit.
-Festival Square is located by one of the many enchanted forests and it is where most local Grargothians gather for the local festivals. The Square is only half a mile squared but the locals who actually attend the festivals fit comfortably. In the center is a large fountain that can be seen from any corner of the Square, and certain parts elevate into dry platforms for the local musicians and another can raise into a speakers platform.
Grargoth Central Bank is located in the “Downtown” area of Grargoth. It can exchange any currency for any other form of currency save for “Story” which is Grargoth's unique currency. Telling a story is a form of currency within the city, but it is a direct use currency and can not be converted to material currency. The bank is used mostly by locals wishing to make a purchase at a off world stall that only takes currency from their world, or by Heroes heading out to a world and want to have some of the local currency for that world. (Note, things like blood and body parts are a form of currency among Vampires and Zombies respectively)
The location of Center, the place Creator calls home, is in a tall building that most beings never seem to notice. It can not be entered from anywhere but the roof save for a ground floor invisible entrance for his children that only they can find, let alone enter.
Note, traveling from one side of the city of the other doesn't actually take all that long even on foot due to Center's ability to do some folding for people with intended goals.
Several of the Creator's children have homes in the city. For specific locations, please open a separate inquiry-
Raphael stares for a time before realizing the device had finished speaking. Bringing a hand up to cover his eyes, he tries hard to process all this information just dumped on him. 'Well, on the bight side, I don't have to muddle through this on my own' With a rather charming smile, he turns to his new companion. “So my friend, what do you think?” A mental pause stops him from saying any more, and the words “My friend” cascade over and over through his mind. His brows furrow in confusion, causing Shadow to simply stare at him for a time.
'It is strange. Normally words to not affect me like this, but this time. Did the words have more meaning? What is the connection I feel with this stranger? For some reason, I feel I can trust him in a way I have not trusted anyone for. . . .Such a long, long time. . .' Shaking his head, the man does his best to not let the feeling disturb him. His smile returns as he looks back at Shadow. 'I will figure this out later. Do not want to frighten my new. . .Friend'
Arching an unseen eyebrow, Shadow rolls his eyes at the other man's odd behavior. The thrill of the new world still fresh in his veins, rather then answering Raphael, more questions tumble from his lips. “Alright, now I know where, I am, do you think that little device of your can tell me just why I am here?” Pushing off the wall, he takes a few steps towards the road. Throwing out an arm he indicates the city in a large sweeping move, causing him to twirl back to face the man against the wall. “Yes, I get it. Wonderful world. Center of all others. Great!” The sarcasm is thick in his voice, dripping like pudding from each word he utters. A touch of venom enters his voice unintentionally as he adds, “I may step from universe to universe as you step from one room to the next, but I do not appreciate having it happen against my will.”
Taking a deep hissing breath, Shadow manages to calm down quickly. With a rather stiff walk, he returns to his place against the wall beside the other man, and ducks his head. Raphael, mildly amused by the display, looks down at the device and decides to try his luck. “Hey, um. . .What are you called?”
-Automated Information Delivery Lieutenant, Aidl for short, though I will respond to any designation you decide to give me-
Shadow lifts his head just high enough to see the interactions between man and technology. “Hmph. Aidl okay, that will do for now. . .You know, I have the same question myself. Why are Shadow and I here?” The dark one's ears perk up as the device begins it's reply.
-Grargoth, the city between, is in need of Heroes to save it from a terrible crisis. The nature of the crisis is classified. Only available information is the following-
Both beings lean in with a spark of excitement causing their blood to tingle, a feeling long lost in Raphael awakening once more.
-Beings pulled or invited into Grargoth, the city between, have been designated as one who carry the appropriate type of energy to be of use to the city. While their presence is of great aid to the city, most Heroes are asked to take part in certain activities to help waylay the approaching crisis These beings may leave at any time, and will be directed to where they may return from whence they came. Those who decide to become Heroes of Grargoth, the city between, will be provided an Aidl, a residence, food, basic amenities, and may at any time be called to duty. Such duties will never exceed the individual's or party's abilities. Most duties include offworld missions, however some are called to solve the rare internal conflict that does not warrant the Creator's direct intervention. Heroes mush abide by the laws, as well as follow basic protocols when traveling offworld-
As the device falls silent, a group of small winged men walk past, waving as they go, a few nodding in the pair's direction. The silence hanging between the two is so thick, it would take an ax to cut through it.
________
I alight on a building not too far from the two. Their energies are pulsating so. Such power, so strong and sweet. Yes, they are good ones. My eyes travel from base to peak of the building on my right, noting that several of it's inhabitants have caught a glimpse of me. I should return now. Tear sealed, and the only escapy. . . .I want here. I beat my wings hard to take off straight up. My eyes follow a single black feather, caught by the wind, travel slowly downward to rest at the dark one's feet.
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To Be A Knight
And my first Finished work Death Day
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Cremuex Levier
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| Posted: Mon Feb 27, 2012 12:10 am Post subject: |
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Oh my gosh, I totally forgot who that was and had to go read back through the story to see if it was a new character or not. Sometimes I really suck at retaining character information. @.@
Nice chapter though Pope :3 Looking forward to the next one but I'm not going to hurry you for it. Can I just ask though, how many chapters do you intend for this story to have?
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PopeAlessandrosXVIII
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| Posted: Mon Feb 27, 2012 1:35 am Post subject: Well. . . . |
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The simplest answer to that question is "The tale of Grargoth doesn't have an end" so in essence, I don't see one in the foreseeable future. As people come and go from IF, I will write in and out their characters as they ask me to. I would like, in my own small way, to keep a record of my fellow IFians inside their own characters within Grargtoh, the city between. I'm working on the next chapter now, It'll be up some time tomorrow. Grargoth is one of m easier SGs 
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