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PostPosted: Mon Dec 10, 2007 11:10 pm    Post subject: Pretty Thing-III-New Chapter Up Reply with quote

*

I’m a vampire. Yipee. No, I won’t suck your blood, it probably disgusting too, full of those toxins you breathe in and that old chalupa you ate for breakfast. Trust me, being a “creature of the night” isn’t that great.

In fact it sucks.

Maybe back then, when we were feared and worshiped like the freakin’ Beatles, it would have been nice. Now days? You got fanatics pretending to be us, real time vampire hunters who work for the government, and our race is being diminished as the human gene finally gains some balls and starts taking over.

Yeah…being a vampire isn’t all that cracked up to be. Especially in high school.




“Jack! Get up! It’s time for school!”

Goddammit…

“Jack! Get your pale butt out of bed now!”

Ignore the voice. Go back to sleep. The sun and school is waiting for you outside. You’re sick, you have a fever….

“Jack! I swear on my fangs, if you don’t get out of bed and get ready for school, I’m going to come up there and shove a cross up your ass!”

“Alright! I’m up! Geez!”

I toss back the covers and climb out of my warm, comfortable bed and rub the sleep out of my eyes. My room’s a mess. It’s like some rabid dog came in chasing some little kid and tore up the place up trying to find him. Which is exactly what happened, but that’s another story.

“Jaaaack!” My brother’s shrill voice pierces my sensitive ears like a dart, and my eardrums are the target. He hits the bullseye.

“I’m up!”

The shower is cold. I hate warm showers, it makes me all red for some reason, like my whole body is blushing, including my butt. Maybe it’s embarrassed ‘cause I’m so pale.

The soap slips out of my hand at least four times, reminding me NEVER to go to prison. The guards would find me with about ninety self inflicted stakes in my heart before I even stepped inside my cell.

As I wrap the towel around my waist I stare into the mirror and look at my reflection. I bet you’re thinking, ‘Woah, wait stop. Reflection?’ That’s right. Reflection and no, I haven’t screwed myself over. This isn’t a joke. Vampires now have reflection. Big brother says it because our human genes are starting to become dominate instead of recessive. They’re taking over.

Sooner or later, there will be no vampires, just pale humans with canines a little bit longer than usual. Even that will fade away. But not this century. Maybe in two more or something. At least he thinks so.

I’m not that bad looking. I don’t mean to be vain or something. Naturally jet black hair hangs over my head punk style, covering a little bit of my eyes. I have a defined chin, dimples when I smile and eyes that even Mr. Cornroze can’t glare into for more than a few seconds. Their pinkish red. You’d assume their contacts. You’d be wrong.

My body isn’t that bad either. I could do better considering I have supernatural strength. I should at least look the part. I don’t. If I flex, you might see my six packs. If I relax, it’s a little muscle bumpy but otherwise flat. Not good enough for the cheerleaders apparently.

I slip on some clothes. Black skinny jeans that aren’t too tight on me but don’t fold in layer’s like the fat man in McDonalds. They have natural rips in them from spars with my brother. He likes to keep me sharp.

I’m talking about my second brother by the way. I have four. I’m the youngest. I’m not telling you what type of pranks they pull on me. You’d die laughing and I’d die from embarrassment.

A black and red shirt goes on with it and I clip in my amulet. It’s just a regular red necklace. It’s nothing fancy, but if I get blown up while I’m pissed off, the rest of California is going with me.

“You faggot! Stop looking at yourself in the mirror already!” Ryan glares at me as he stands inside the doorway. “School starts in twenty minutes and you ain’t flying there!”

Yes we can fly. How? You’ll find out later.

“How the hell am I getting to school!?”

“You’re running. Use the doggy door.”

Goddammit…


*album cover of escape the fate's dying is your latest fashion

    DP

    How does Jack get to school?

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Last edited by Player of Fates on Sun Jan 20, 2008 2:01 pm; edited 5 times in total
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PostPosted: Mon Dec 10, 2007 11:16 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

*wraps tail around Plates until he turns blue and hisses between clenched fangs* Where...have...you...been...!!!!

That said, you came back with a bang and a whole new story. Yay!

I'm going to go with the beliefe that how he gets to school is our job right? I'd say, being the ultra not cool vampire he is, he ends up riding a rather battered skateboard at supernatural speeds. Catch is...it's some second hand girl's skateboard...

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PostPosted: Mon Dec 10, 2007 11:20 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Life's been a bitch Rai. A real muther f****in' bitch. But I'm back Smile With a weird liking towards vampires.
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PostPosted: Tue Dec 11, 2007 3:29 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

i prefer to think of him riding a girls schwinn to school. It is really old, with whitewall tires and little tassles on the handle bars. maybe a basket up front, and one of those squeaky horns you can get for them.
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PostPosted: Tue Dec 11, 2007 3:38 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sorry Plates, I don't do vamire stories, but I just caught the world 'tassles' in Messy's post. It wasn't what I thought it was though. Sad

Still, without having read your story, I suggest 'tassles' be included somewhere.

Smile
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PostPosted: Tue Dec 11, 2007 4:52 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

"Didn't you know? Snow day! School's canceled!"

It looks intriguing. A bit off-putting with that pic on the top, but the story is wow.
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PostPosted: Tue Dec 11, 2007 6:58 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
I’m talking about my second brother by the way. I have four. I’m the youngest. I’m not telling you what type of pranks they pull on me. You’d die laughing and I’d die from embarrassment.


I think you should tell us. It would make the story more interesting, certainly. It doesn't have to be an elaborate description of the prank, but a good chuckle always comes in handy, especially in a story about a teenage vampire.

How does he get to school? He turns into a wolf and runs there? Maybe he drives a funerary car (or however you spell that).
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PostPosted: Tue Dec 11, 2007 7:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Did it say how old he was anywhere? Or did I just miss it?
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PostPosted: Tue Dec 11, 2007 7:55 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oh. My. God. I hate vampire stories and I'm hooked. That tell you how good you are? okay, enough inflating your ego, if you haev one I'm not sure, and now for advice. I say well i have to agree with the whole skateboard idea. That seems interesting. Now- about something I noticed. YOu are great at despriptions, but well, you spend a little too much time on them, and not enough on actual plot. But, don't take me too seriously okay? I'm not the best at this lol.
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PostPosted: Tue Dec 11, 2007 10:20 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oh heck Noni, if you think Plates spends too much time describing don't read my stuff.

And Meph, my first thought was actually a girl's bicycle ala 'The Goonies' but since he didn't have any sisters I decided on the second hand skateboard. However, it would be amusing to see a teenage vampyre hijack some seven year old's bicycle and ride off pell mell...

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PostPosted: Wed Dec 12, 2007 3:17 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

who says that one of his brothers didn't acquire the bike, with the specific purpose of embarrassing him?
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PostPosted: Wed Dec 12, 2007 6:06 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well, I give eveerything a chance, as I said, I'm not the best judge. Besides, well, heh*sheepish grin* I wasn't really awake when I posted that lol. Now, to comment on the story.
I thought up the fact that maybe some little girl could try to be nice and offer him her bike, which might end up throwing him off guard. LOL
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PostPosted: Wed Dec 12, 2007 4:18 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

LOL=A huge problem. Do not say LOL. It... is strange to this realm...
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PostPosted: Wed Dec 12, 2007 4:35 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

oh. . .THat might end up ebing a porbelm. It's like my favorite -well it's not so much a word is it? Well, I'll do my best not to say it, feel free tor ent if i do. As for the story, I myself have a question. Do these vamps drink human blood, or animal blood?
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PostPosted: Wed Dec 12, 2007 5:39 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

*taps a long-nailed finger thoughtfully on her chin* Well, well, well, Plates.... it seems you have returned to the fold after all.....

*cancels removal crew* Don't worry about them, they're just leaving..

And you return to us with a bang.... hummm...

Okay enough creeping you out... Razz

I'm slightly intrigued. But, why does he think like such a loser??? Come on, four brothers and he's the youngest? How in the hell did he make it to teenage years without toughening up a little?

In short, less punk, more spunk. (Just a tad)
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PostPosted: Fri Dec 14, 2007 1:35 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I would say run. The chances are he's going to get into more trouble if he runs. More stuff can happen on the way to school. He's more likely to be late too.

Yeah, for the sake of the plot, run. Very Happy

Excellent start there, Plates, and I would disagree with Noni, you are starting at exactly the right pace, with the right amount of description to introduce your characters. Good style too. Keep it up, and welcome back!

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PostPosted: Sat Dec 15, 2007 4:50 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Take off the picture. The story's great, but the pic ruins it.
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PostPosted: Sat Dec 15, 2007 4:35 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm going to have to disagree.. the pic adds the the right thing to the story.
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PostPosted: Tue Dec 18, 2007 1:15 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

My internet was fixed sooner than I thought Smile I have the poll up and if I missed anything, I apologize. Please vote. Smile
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PostPosted: Tue Dec 18, 2007 6:29 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

PLATES! *tackles Plates* I just noticed you came back when I read your new Linear! I love both btw! *reaches in Plate's pockets and steals whatever is in there*
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PostPosted: Fri Dec 21, 2007 10:51 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Run like the wind it is.

*checks pockets*

What!? Harley! I want my money back! I should have never came in human form! Dammit! Did you take my tie as well?
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Last edited by Player of Fates on Mon Dec 31, 2007 7:46 pm; edited 1 time in total
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PostPosted: Sat Dec 22, 2007 4:28 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

II

"Go to hell," I say. "I ain't using no doggy door! Just lend me your car!"

Ryan laughs and shakes his head, allowing the long locks of brownish black hair to ripple. If a girl were next to me, she'd squeak in wonder. "You're walking. You need the exercise."

"Oh come on!"

"Walking. It'll take you like two minutes as long as you don't hit a wall."

I grab my backpack off the counter and it makes a slight shrieking sound as a metal clip scrapes across the glass service.

"What? What's this doing on there?" I unclip the ornament and hold it up into the light. It's a Togril Goshin. A protection amulet back from Transylvania. They were supposed to keep your "scent" hidden from Hunters. This was interesting.

"Keep it on there," says Ryan as he puts on his jacket.

"Why? We don't have any Hunters here."

"Just keep it on there, doofus and get your butt to school."

Ryan, always with the secrets. I shrug and call him an asshole before walking out. The morning cold greets me like a slap in the face complete with the unhealthy stench of toxic waste. It takes a moment for me to block it from my senses and I smell it as an undertone instead of a full blown vapor. Much better.

"This sucks," I mutter. At least car fumes would have been more bearable.

"Shut up," laughs Ryan as he steps outside with me, shutting the heavy oak door with a thud. "I'm taking Vlad to work. Jared is at his girlfriend's house for the day. I don't think there'll be anyone home after school. Make yourself something to eat."

"I don't see why you can't just give me a ride."

My brother winks at me and slides his hand down the hood of his 1967 SS Camaro. He walks to the drivers side and opens the door with a soft click. Vlad winks at me from inside and flashes his fangs. He was always shoving it in my face that he hand longer canines.

"You can only impress the chicks with this if you own it. Plus, running builds characters."

It takes him thirty seconds to hop in and peel out the drive way as Vlad waves goodbye to me. I watch them disappear down the road and shake my head. I can not wait until I get my license.

Now...to running. I make sure my backpack is latched on right and crack my knuckles for dramatic effect. There was no one to impress really. Everyone in my neighborhood was either asleep or in their nice warm cars driving to school. I live in the suburbs and I'm not exactly proud of the fact. Too many mothers talking on their cell phones with their daughters on leashes and too many old men walking around with binoculars looking guilty.

When a vampire runs, it's not your regular cross country huff and puff. It's like you cross into another world, albeit one full of colors and sounds so inexplicably blended together you can't tell which is which. It sounds weird I know, but it's true. A yell full of anger comes across as a red streak when you run past that person. I call running, "Screaming."

Everything moves in slow motion. It's as if someone ripped off the movie Matrix and slapped it onto reality. I start off and the wind rushes in then out of my ears creating a sonic boom sound in my head. The dog in the neighbor's backyard starts yapping.

The trees blend into green and brown, the sidewalk I'm on melts into a chalky gray and the little brook in the woods behind my house starts fading away and the sound of trickling water hushes into small light blue lines.

Houses scream by me, barely discernible with the rest of the world, barely anything is discernible. Somehow we vampires navigate through it smoothly as if we were riding a bike. I take the local streets, avoiding the free way. It wouldn't do for someone to take a picture of some teenager going so fast he's a blur down 80.

Two minutes into Screaming and I feel weird. It's a sense of dread. It crawls up my spine like an insect, finds a good place to nest. After a few moments, it bites. I should stop Screaming, I know I should. It's nothing, probably. I'm just getting paranoid.

And then it hits me. Or rather, she. My stomach tenses as something hard and cold crashes into it and sends me flying. The world goes from slow to fast and everything is as it should be. No more colors and neon lights. Shit.

Ever crashed into asphalt? I mean like, really really hard? If you haven't, let me tell you. It hurts. Like hell. It's just like someone grabbing a big slab of cement and smacking it into whatever unlucky part of your body that's getting the blow. My breath whispers goodbye as it rushes out of me.

Pain lances through my whole back and stomach. I automatically curl up, just for a second, then training kicks in.

I push myself off the ground and leap about ten feet away from where I was. Dust leaves a smoking trail as I skid safely across the road on my sneakers and stare at my attacker. Stylish if I do say so myself.

"What the fuck man!?"

The girl was dressed in tight black pants that showed off her shapely legs and a black band shirt, promoting MCR. I have to say, her taste in music was horrible. An amulet was worn around a smooth milky white neck and it rested on her breasts that were rising and falling with every deep and angry breath.

We vampires can see auras, so when your angry, we know it. Poker faces don't fool us. This girl radiated anger, hate, jealousy...and weirdly enough lust.


DP

What does Max do? Run? Fight? Try to talk things over? Or does something unexpected come this way?


Sorry kind of rushed lately. I'll make it more readable and add a little more detail. But this is it. Enjoy.
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Last edited by Player of Fates on Thu Dec 27, 2007 1:30 am; edited 2 times in total
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PostPosted: Sun Dec 23, 2007 5:37 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

okay so far i am liking it = but i suggest you dont keep posting the pic at the top of the chapters - they can make the pages difficult for some ppl to load up.

besides i dont like it - its trashy and not in a good way. Mad

it actually puts me off your story though i actually like it on reading it.

I will be interested to see how you go with the first person stuff.

As for the girl... she thinks he is one of his brothers or something and she is pissed off...

(i really am not sure on this one..)
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PostPosted: Sun Dec 23, 2007 11:00 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

hmm, she is a hunter, and she wants to kill Jack, yet he turns her on also. she isn't sure if she wants to kill or screw him. so, maybe they can fight, which turns her on more, and then, one of them dies during the act of copulating.
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PostPosted: Mon Dec 24, 2007 4:25 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

He apologizes and acquires the famous vamp nobility. problem is, it's not quite up to speed...

F5 NeNe on the pic.
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PostPosted: Tue Dec 25, 2007 9:42 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Masterweaver: Vamp nobility?

Meph: Copulating?

Anymore suggestions? I want to write this chappy tonight. Smile
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PostPosted: Thu Dec 27, 2007 12:58 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thisss ssstorygame isss of an acceptable ssstandard.

Ensssure it remainsss so, mortal!
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PostPosted: Thu Dec 27, 2007 1:18 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Humm. I'd say she displays long fangs and screams at him for blowing her cover. At that point the hunters chasing her show up and the pair are forced to fight or die.
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PostPosted: Fri Dec 28, 2007 7:50 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

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PostPosted: Sun Dec 30, 2007 11:52 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Geez, I can't believe its taking me this long to hop onto IF. Anyways, the polls up now. Enjoy!
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PostPosted: Thu Jan 03, 2008 3:52 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Just caught up and voted! I liked the running scene. Very well done!
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PostPosted: Fri Jan 04, 2008 10:23 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The option seems to be the fourth one so yeah. The chapter will be up soon!
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PostPosted: Fri Jan 04, 2008 11:23 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

OOOOOOooooooooo I love Vampire stories! And I'm digging this one, though I must agree with some of the others that it feels a bit rushed.... I didn't get to vote but I'm excited to see what happens with the winning choice, I'd like to see him save her and the they get hot and heavy...or rather cold and lite?
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PostPosted: Tue Jan 15, 2008 4:04 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm really sorry about this delay guys. The whole chapter was written out on another laptop that I forgot at my father's house. I'm getting it back friday and it will be up on the same day or the next.
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PostPosted: Sun Jan 20, 2008 1:59 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I am well aware of this poorly written chapter's quality. I swear that the next will be so much better written. I'm sorry once again.

III

The silver is burning her. I could see the tendrils of smoke curling into the air from her hands. They were pale and shaking. But just because silver burns her doesn't mean she's a vampire.

"Hey sexy," she breathes lightly, despite the burning sensation in her hand.

"Um...hi," I say. This is kind of awkward.

"I would just LOVE to stay and..." she shifts and the violet* aura burns brighter. "Chat. But I'm kind of being chased right now."

I take a step forward and the tatters of my backpack fall to the road. There goes my history report. "Woah, woah, woah. Wait. Who's chasing you? How'd you see me when I was Screaming and why is that bar burning your hand?"

"Oh please," she laughs. "I think you know why."

"Really?"

She smiles. "Jack, right?"

I blink and frown. How could this chick know my name? A Hunter? No...the silver wouldn't be burning her and her aura would be different. I snarl in frustration, I should have paid attention when Vlad was explaining the prisms!

"If you could move out of my way now..."

Before I can answer, there's an explosion. Not the little car bomb explosions you see on TV when watching the latest Iraq report, but a full honest to god "holy-shit-we're-all-going-to-die" blast.

It goes off behind the girl. Bits and pieces of rail work, asphalt, and rock chunks fly up and over like doomsday rain. Smoke envelops my figure and I'm lifted off my feet and tossed like a chew toy into the air. Again.

“GAH!” The asphalt greets me with a hardy thump and its welcoming sensation of pain. Gasping, I roll to my feet and stand on shaky ground. I can't see a thing. The smoke from the blast covers everything. It's all a mixture of black, grey and the hope of a tinted sky above.

Before I can regain my bearings, the girl smashes into me like a wrecking ball. She sends me flying backwards. I'm really beginning to hate this day.

"When? Where? How!" I gasp.

We're lying on the floor. Me on the bottom, the girl on top. Smooth thighs press against my sides. Oh lord, spare me from getting hard.

"You're beginning to get annoying," she says.

"Me?!" I push her off and jump to my feet.

"Yeah, you. Good looks can get you so far," she says. Her voice is light but I can see the panic in her eyes. I would be scared too if I had almost been blown to pieces. She winces as she moves her shoulder. Bad burns.

"Least I got some," I shoot back. A total lie. She's gorgeous.

"There! They're right there!" the voice echoes in the smoky area that we're in. "Aim into the smoke!"

"What's happening," I snarl. "Why do they want you?"

The chick smiles and flashes fangs. Their long and tipped with sharp ends. If there had been any sun, the light would have reflected off their pearly surface.

"Oh."

I can't fit in another word before a spray of bullets rape the ground in front of me, nearly missing my foot. Another barrage goes back and molests the same area once again.

"Run!" Her voice penetrates through the smoky haze like a shining beacon.

She grabs my arm and propels me forward as we both Scream at the same time. Three more explosion follow us and I feel the sudden tidal wave of heat roll and crash into us. Orange and red blare into the corners of my eyes, filling up the small space. It makes a rush forward to try and cover my whole vision. A freight train filled with smoke runs us over and fills my lungs.

I cough out the blackness and seal off my air passage. I can't risk doubling over and having dry heaves. The world blends into colors again and the shouting voices behind us become distinct shades of red and yellow.

We're gone in seconds.



“Mister Kold, I think we have a problem.”

The voice is the sound of sharpened nails grating against a chalkboard amplified by a microphone.

“Please, I don’t know anymore!” The voice is old, dried and cracked with exhaustion, fear and pain.

The tombstone smile can be seen in the darkness, the little light into the room reflecting of the cement blocks of pearly teeth. There are too many teeth to fit in one mouth, yet, he manages. “Of course you don’t. That is unfortunate for you. Mister Kold? If you will do the honors…”

A huge figure moves in the shadow and a giant of man steps into the wavering light offered by a flickering bulb above. He’s like Goliath, only more sinister and quite more badass in his black suave suite.

“Have you ever had your nails extracted from the tips of your fingers?”

“N-no,” whimpers the man. He’s bound in chains and tied to the chair. He can’t move but his shivers make the steel links clink.

“It was rhetorical you dolt. You weren’t supposed to respond to my inquiry.”

“I’m so-”

“Get on with it, Mister Kold.”

The man’s screams echo inside the room, desperately trying to find a way out, but discovering no exit. The pool of blood around the chair grows a little bit wider.



We end up at school. Of all the things to seek safety, we end up at school. Maybe I chose it subconsciously, maybe she did. All I know is that we’re standing in front of the closed school doors with my back smoking like my Aunty Cess on her seventeenth cigarette.

The stairway and sidewalks are all empty. The students are inside and the open areas become potential battlegrounds.

“School?” I ask. “Why’d we end up at school?”

The girl frowns. I notice vaguely that she’s reluctant to let go of my hand. “I dunno. I didn’t choose this place. Did you?”

“No…”

“Whatever. What matters is that I get the hell out of here.” She shakes her head and her black hair glimmers in the sunlight. It’s either greasy or glossy. Most likely the latter. “I’ll call Sammy.”

“Woah, woah,” I say. “I need an explanation!”

“Later,” she says.

“No! Not later! Now. Who were those guys?”

“Later!”

“Why were they trying to blow us up? Are you in trouble with the government? Oh shit, are you! They know about us?”

“Later, damn it!”

“Hunters? Were they Hunters? Just tell me,” I growl.

The slap echoes in the empty concrete wasteland and I blink in surprise. I could’ve avoided it but I didn’t. I was too busy thinking about what the hell had happened.

“I explain what I can when Sammy gets here.” She sighs and pulls out the smashed and burnt remains of her cell phone. It looks like it had been a RAZR.

“Nice phone,” I remark dryly.

“Shut it. You have yours?”

I shrug. “I should.” It takes a few moments but I dig out my Stone Age phone and hand it to her. Her fingers linger against my palm as she takes it.

She quickly dials a number as I look around the abandoned neighborhood. Everyone’s at work or school. An occasional car drives by the school and down the road. A curious driver glances at us then gives me a disapproving glare. Little punks, skipping school.

“Sammy, they almost had me!” Her calm voice has begun to shake, tremor in a girly way.

There’s a quick and panicked chatter over the other end.

“No, I’m all right. I got lucky.” She turns and smiles at me. I offer a weak one in return.

While she talks I think back. How the hell did this day go so wrong? I glance back at the girl.

Or so right?

Who was firing at us? I think back. Nothing I can remember gives the slightest hint of an image of our attackers. This is frustrating! Where are my brothers when I need them?

I had to get a hold of them and tell them what’s happening. If Hunters are here and chasing vampires, we’re in deep shit. Very deep doo-doo. It comes dimly, a faint voice in the back of my head, that I had just failed History because of my ruined report. Yay.

“Yeah, we’re at some school. Delbridge High.” Her voice breaks through my contemplations (I sound smart) and brings me back to the current now.

Another glance at me. “He’s cute too. You’d like him…REALLY like him.”

Sammy arrives fifteen minutes later. The black BMW rolls up slowly and smoothly along the sidewalk and the tree right behind it seems to sigh and let go of a few more leaves.

“There,” says the girl

“You sure that’s Sammy?”

She laughs then says, “Pretty sure, boy.”

A grin appears on her red lips. “Let’s go.”

I let her walk ahead of me and can’t help but check out the wonder a little below her waist before looking up at the car we’re heading too. As we get near it, the driver’s window rolls slowly down and a girl of about eighteen pulls down hip shades and gives me a wink.

She looks up to me and flashes white fangs. “You were right Candy, he is cute.”



“Sir. We’ve tracked them.”

Mister Grimm looks up from the twitching form tied to a chair and surrounded by a puddle of its own blood. “Excuse me?”

“The girl and the boy that helped her. The vampires. We’ve found them.”

“I was informed that had escaped earlier.”

The tall man in a military uniform complete with a Kevlar vest and a semi automatic Glock holstered to his hip allowed himself a faint smile. “We pride ourselves on working fast. We’ve found them again.”

“That’s good news,” came a deep voice. Mister Kold stood from his kneeling position and wiped the blood and scraps of meat from his mouth. The man grimaced.

“Yes, Mister Kold,” said Mister Grimm. “Yes it is. The question is? What is our next move?”


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PostPosted: Sun Jan 20, 2008 3:57 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The next move is to suddenly be overthrown by an internal rebellion that wants to enslave the vamps instead of exterminating them.

What? It's a move.
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PostPosted: Sun Jan 20, 2008 6:11 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ooooo Nicely done, though it did feel a bit rushed. I did like your metaphors though, especially the smoking one.

Anyway, DP- The bad guys choose to observe hoping that the two vamps will lead them to more vamps. They had suspected a group of them in the area.

Meanwhile...Jack is in heaven, in regards to he is taken to a coven of female vamps that are temporarily hiding out in his town. Why not?
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PostPosted: Mon Jan 21, 2008 9:18 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

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PostPosted: Wed Jan 23, 2008 3:36 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The thing with this story game is, you have to think of yourselves as gods almost. You control what happens or what jumps in. Which means you'll be choosing for the bad and the good, sometimes.


Oh, by the way, the pol results were

The girl mistakes Jack for one of his brothers and is VERY pissed off
0%
0% [ 0 ]
The girl is a Hunter and wants to screw and kill Jack the same time
28%
28% [ 2 ]
Jack acquires his famous vampire nobility
14%
14% [ 1 ]
She turns out to be a vampire and the Hunters show up
57%
57% [ 4 ]
The girl is a vampire, new to town, and has singled out Jack to be her new man
0%
0% [ 0 ]
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PostPosted: Wed Jan 23, 2008 6:03 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

This is really cool plates. Looking foward to more.

I'm surprised no one voted for the last option though... Laughing Wink
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