City of IF

[PopeAlessandrosXVIII]

Yay! Voted, and broke a tie! I can't wait to see more, keep up the good story!

[Andolyn]

The fire glowing brilliantly in the stone hearth was warm, despite the bitter cold of the January winds outside. The boy, only six years old, sat in the “Base” he’d called home for as long as his young mind could remember. Tonight, something was coming. Something that from what he’d overheard, could change the course of the war if handled correctly. The change would not be immediate, nor would it happen in a few years. This change would be slow and tedious, but it would come.

Tonight, the Underground would come under new leadership, and all in the tiny base prayed that this wasn’t another of Charles Hallam’s wicked tricks. They had been assured that as soon as the leaders arrived, proof of their loyalty would be given, but no one could be certain for their “proof” had been hidden away for as long as possible.

The boy understood that it wasn’t the coming of the new leaders that would bring that slow, toilsome change, but what they brought with them.

Just then, there was a knock on the door—the secret knock of the Underground. After the identities of the newcomers were checked, they were ushered inside and out of the biting cold.

There they stood, a man and a woman, still shivering, and dripping on the floor as the ice from their clothing melted in the warm air of the Base. In the woman’s arms, was what appeared to be a bundle of blankets.

“Well?” the group of well-armed Undergrounders stood defensively in a half circle around the couple. A middle aged man named Abberton spoke with his son Allington right behind him. “Where’s your proof?”

The boy, still sitting on his perch by the fire, watched as the woman slowly unwrapped her bundle. A soft cry of protest came as the chilly air hit the skin of the tiny arm she withdrew from the warm blankets.

Without a word, she showed the baby’s arm to the current leader, and with a gasp, he fell to his knees.

“Kavanagh!”

Kellan didn’t understand the word, but as rapidly as wildfire on the plains of Durstain, the hushed whisper overtook the room and soon, all were on their knees.

The boy stood, moving slowly toward the couple that would be his new leaders. Carefully, he examined the baby. It was nothing special, just a baby. He looked as though he was only a few weeks old. The only spectacular thing about the tiny boy was a small tattoo on his left arm, just below the elbow.

“Do you approve, little one?” The woman’s voice was soft, and sweet. Much like Kellan had often imagined his own mother sounding. He thought for a moment before nodding.

“It’s gonna be awhile before he can hold a sword though. Maybe you should have brought a bigger one.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kellan stood on the banks of the river leading into Darbinshire waiting for his men to make a decision. He hadn’t thought of the day he’d met Spade in a long time. How foolish he’d been that day. His statement had evoked horror from the group behind him, but the woman in front of him had only laughed, and apologized for her mistake.

Spade never grew very large in stature, but his heart was as big and courageous as any other man in Ardara. As they’d grown, the two had become fast friends, and when they were older, Kellan began to respect Spade as the leader he knew the boy could become.

Now, that hope they’d worked so hard to build ever since that night, the change that was finally coming to a climax was losing all hope of completion.

Kellan was brought back to the present moment by a small voice behind him.

“We can’t launch another attack as we are now,” the voice belonged to Ebony. “Let me go back, check on Spade and Andy, and round up some reinforcements. Give me directions to where they’re keeping Ferris’s family, and I’ll meet you there with help.”

Her plan was good, and was unanimously agreed upon. Ebony started out with Allington, and the rest of the group prepared for the coming battle. Ferris spoke as he led the small band forward.

“He’s holding them in cabin about a mile west of here. It’s in a heavily wooded area so it will be easy to surround the place and attack."

“But it will also be easy for the enemy to do the same to us.” Kellan’s voice was heavy in the darkness, “Element of surprise will be key to pulling this off.”

Ferris was right, the place was surrounded by the thick forest that also engulfed the Emporium. The underbrush was cumbersome to the group as Kellan, Barden, and Ferris tried to advance stealthily through to the cabin, but they managed.
They passed no patrols going in and no sign of guards at the perimeter. Kellan guessed the soldiers were all hidden within the cabin’s walls. No sense in drawing attention to the place. There were enough windows that the grounds could be well watched from inside the building.

The trio paused, making themselves as comfortable as possible in the hollow of a large, old willow tree. From this point, they could still see the house, but were far enough away that they couldn’t be seen. The wait for Ebony to return would be long. She had at least four hours of travel ahead of her that night, and the first half would be lengthened by Allington’s injury.

All hope of waiting for backup was smashed, however when one of the soldiers from the attack on Ferris’s home emerged from the trees on the other side of the house. He was badly injured, and would be bringing news of Ferris’s escape to the soldiers holding his family.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two days had passed since the escape from Darbinshire castle. During what was possibly the longest night of her life, Andolyn kept watch over her still unconscious friend while waiting for the others to return from whatever mission had captured their attention yesterday. She only prayed that they were safe, and that they would return to her soon.

Spade’s sleep was sound, but troubled. He often started to cry out, but was calmed by the soft brush of Andolyn’s hand over his forehead and the quiet, gentle shushing she offered.

Several hours into the night, Andolyn needed something to tear her mind away from the horrifying memories of the last few days. She busied herself with replacing the many bandages that covered Spade’s wounds. Starting with the arm that was closest to her, Andolyn removed the bandages, tenderly cleaned each of the still angry looking burns, and replaced clean gauze over the injuries.

It wasn’t until Andolyn reached Spade’s left arm that her mind was truly focused in the little room. Due to the long coat the thief always wore, Andolyn had never seen the bare skin of his arms. There, just below the bend of his elbow was a small but intricate tattoo. To anyone else looking at it, the tattoo was nothing special—just an incomplete, half-moon shaped Celtic knot, but to Andolyn, the symbol was oddly familiar.

Puzzled, the girl rolled her own right sleeve to the elbow. There it was. The same half moon shaped knot, only turned the opposite direction. The mark had been on her arm for as long as Andolyn could remember. She had always assumed it had been there from her birth. Gently, so as not to hurt him, Andolyn laid her arm next to Spade’s. She couldn’t make sense of what she saw: two halves of the same whole—making one, complete, circular design, a design matching the one carved into the stone the Alabain woman had given her.

“Well, isn’t that interesting?” Spade’s hoarse voice made the princess jump.

“Spade!” Without thinking, Andolyn threw her arms around the prone man. He winced and she released him. “Sorry…” He only grinned at her. Tears filled her eyes again at the warm smile that reflected back from those blue-green eyes she had been certain she would never see again.

Spade noted the black eye and cuts on the princess’s face, and his smile faded.
“He hit you,” the comment was simple enough, but the icy hatred behind it made Andolyn shiver.

“Well,” Andolyn stared at her hands, “It was sort of self defense. I mean, he told me he’d killed you and Barden, and I guess I got so angry I just sort of lost control for a minute, and I attacked him…” Andolyn rambled, holding up the heavily wrapped hand.

“But,” Spade interrupted. “He hit you.”

“He only hit me once. Then he had to call his guards since he couldn’t fight me off himself. That’s where this one came from.” She pointed to her forehead. “He sort of had to throw me into the corner of the table to get me to stop.” She grinned sheepishly. Despite his anger, Spade couldn’t help but smile at the girl. She really was a defensive one, but the picture of Andy beating the bejeebies out of the prince just didn’t fit her.

He also noted the reddened tint of Andolyn’s eyes.

“Have you slept at all?” Andolyn shook her head, again staring at the floor. Looking around the room, Spade’s eyes fell on the untouched food. “I’m assuming those weren’t for me.” The princess shook her head again. “Andy…”
Spade laid a hand on hers.

“Look!” Andolyn pointed to the window. Spade’s gaze followed hers. The first rays of the morning sun were dancing in colorful light through the stained glass window. Andolyn smiled at her friend. “It was cloudy last night,” she whispered, “but at least the sun’s up now, and I think the stars will be beautiful tonight.”

*****
Spade lives!! But what do we do about Ferris's family? Do we go ahead and attack? or wait for help, risking action being taken against the women? something else? your decision!

[Vishal Muralidharan]

Awesomme!!! :D

I'd say we wait for the back up, and Andolyn asks spade about the mark.

[Vikas Muralidharan]

Finally...

FINALLY.... CAUGHT UP!!! :D :D :D :D

And it's a story worth catching up to as well... Absolutely amazing!!!!

Aahmm... Judging by what we know, I say they go to save Ferris's family, since Spade lives anyway... but then again, Kellan and his troop don't know so that so the thought of spade "dying" would still influence his decision. However, I think should they be doing the illogical thing in their minds and move on to Ferris's family.

Wow... took a lot of time, but definitely worth it... Im happy now :)

[Andolyn]

aww! thanks for the comments, guys! and i'm glad you caught up, Vikas!! good to have you back!

[Lilith]

Quote: “It’s gonna be awhile before he can hold a sword though. Maybe you should have brought a bigger one.”

:rofl: That's just the cutest thing I've read in the past month. Okay, my gush-like disgusting moment over.

Okay, my DP suggestion, it's a little complicated so if you need clarification, prod me on msn and I'll clear it up :)

What if one or two of the current company, as well as Kellan sort of.. subsitute themselves as some of the guards after drugging, punching, hauling off and twisting the neck of, ect, some of the real guards, and of course, by subterfuge, get the family OUT?

[Vishal Muralidharan]

Lilith wrote: Quote: “It’s gonna be awhile before he can hold a sword though. Maybe you should have brought a bigger one.”


What if one or two of the current company, as well as Kellan sort of.. subsitute themselves as some of the guards after drugging, punching, hauling off and twisting the neck of, ect, some of the real guards, and of course, by subterfuge, get the family OUT?

Well, I don't need clarification. I withdraw my suggestion of waiting for backup, and i'll go with this one. I still want to know about the tattoos though.

Great idea, Lilith! :D

[Tikanni Corazon]

Sorry it's taken me so long to get to this, Andi. But I've explained to you why that is, so I'm sure I can be assured of your forgiveness. ;)


One thing that always pleases me when I read your work, is the effort you make in editing it. The grammar is pretty much always flawless, spellings,layout, etc. Fabulous, and always adds that extra little something when I read your work. Very well done! :)


As always, this chapter was brilliantly edited and wonderfully written, with good characterisation. There was just one thing for me, and it is a small thing, and doesn't require anything you've written so far to be changed. The point where they make the plan to split up with Ebony, and go to the cabin. I think it would add just a little extra to the chapter to have something about the journey getting there, and the like, even if it is just Kellan pondering over his thoughts as they make their way there. It is a small thing, and not neccessity, but I think it would be beneficial to your tale.


For the dp...Hmmm...it's a tricky one. I think maybe Kellan should send one or two of his men to warn Ebony about the situation, then he and the others should hide themselves as well as possible, to see what the enemy do in reaction to the news. However it pans out, they can then make a plan in conjunction with the reaction. If the enemy decide to leave the cabin, and go out to meet them in attack, they can wait for them to leave, then try to get Ferris's family out. If they add extra guards, Kellan and his men can make a plan to try and overcome them.


Wonderful chapter Andi! Keep up the good work! :)

[Andolyn]

now polling!! votes are appreciated!!

[Midnight]

Hey hey, I finally caught up just in time for the poll. XD

Now let see, substituting seems like a good idea as long as nothing goes wrong that is.

[Thunderbird]

Went for aggression.

Another enjoyed chapter!

[Andolyn]

wow, Midnight!! thanks so much for taking all that time to catch up!! i hope it was worth it! lol

and thanks for the votes everyone!! hopefully i'll have the new chapter out tomorrow...if not, it'll be saturday...i hope. haha!

[Vishal Muralidharan]

Andolyn wrote: it'll be saturday...i hope. haha!

*Sits, looking around while patiently waiting for the next saturday*

[PopeAlessandrosXVIII]

All caught up, and voted! Keep up the good work!

[Andolyn]

**I deeply DEEPLY apologize for the HUGE delay on this chapter...it's been a much busier holiday season than i'd planned...BUT! I'm back...and itching to get back into the swing of things. =) Forgive the delay, and i hope you'll find this new chapter to your liking!**

At that moment, the answer to his problem strolled out right in front of him. Three soldiers, on the first patrol they’d seen since their arrival at this place, walked casually past where the trio was hiding, never suspecting this place would be found.

Kellan glanced over to Barden with a wickedly mischievous grin. The young man nodded back, and in one motion, the two of them had the two soldiers in the back silently dispatched. Ferris caught on quickly and followed the example with the remaining man.

Again, the men exchanged glances before “borrowing” the clothing of the soldiers they’d just taken down. Grateful for the flamboyant hats on the uniforms that provided covering for their faces, Kellan, Barden, and Ferris made their way confidently down to the house where Ferris’s family was being held.

Ferris’s heart was pounding out of his chest. He couldn’t believe it had come to this. His machine was never meant to be used for such twisted things as torture. This particular device was supposed to heal minor wounds and illnesses, but the prince had found it far more useful as a means of causing pain and suffering. By some minor adjustments and running the machine at almost triple the intended power, instead of healing, the machine sent currents of electricity and powerful alchemy through the body, reversing the intended purpose of healing and bringing total destruction on the body.

That total destruction had been wreaked on the comrade of the men who were walking at his side now. His invention might have killed their friend…so why were they helping him? Ferris didn’t have much time to think on it before the trio was at the door of the cabin.

Kellan extended a strong hand towards the door, allowing it to swing in slowly as the three surveyed the inside of the cabin. Around a large table in the center of the room, the soldiers were gathered listening to their injured comrade tell the story of what had recently taken place at Ferris’s home. Against the far wall, huddled together, were a middle aged woman and three young girls—Ferris’s family.

The group at the table barely noticed the entrance of the three incognito Undergrounders. Angrily, the captain stood up and looked to the four women.

“He knew what would happen if he resigned his position,” the man shouted as he raised his sword and charged at the huddle.

There was no time to form a plan. Action was necessity. Without a second thought, Kellan kicked off the wall behind him and raced toward the far wall, placing himself between the girls and the oncoming attack. A twitch of his finger on the trigger of his crossbow ended the captain, and before the others had time to react, Kellan was already prepared to spring again.

Never since their meeting had Barden witnessed this level of skill from Kellan. He’d always been a silent back force. First, he was the sheltering, planning blacksmith. Then he was the leader of the attack, mostly giving orders while men laid down their lives without question simply because he gave the order. For the first time, Barden was seeing Kellan as his true persona—the leader of the Underground. For the first time, Barden was seeing the man that had earned that title—had earned the right to give orders that would end lives. And for the first time, a grave thought fully sank into the forefront of his mind: this man—this tornado of fury and passion—had once taken orders from Spade. What was the man Barden thought he knew as his best friend really capable of?

As the soldiers reacted, Kellan sprang into action once again. With a move of his thumb, the hilt of Kellan’s broadsword shot from the scabbard and smashed the ribs of the soldier closest to him while at the same time, another arrow pierced the throat of the next. In one fluid motion, Kellan spun, throwing his crossbow from his right hand to his left and drawing the broadsword with his right. A quick slash of the sword took down another soldier on its way out of the sheath, after which Kellan delivered a deadly jab to yet another. Kicking his way past the dead men, Kellan spun his sword over his head, grabbing an arrow with two of his nimble fingers.

In a matter of seconds, the room was empty, save for Kellan, Barden, Ferris, and the women still huddled against the wall. Kellan had fought his way back toward the door, keeping the fighting away from Ferris’s family. He now knelt before Barden, breathless and covered in blood. When the last man fell, so did Kellan. The exhausted man pulled the rusty helmet off of his head and simply lay on his back. The only sounds in the room were the women whimpering, and Kellan’s ragged breathing.

Suddenly, Ferris rushed forward, freeing his girls and hugging them tightly. Barden looked around, shaking off the shock and horror of what he’d just witnessed. In all, twenty men lost their lives by the blade of one man in that little cabin.

“I’m sorry,” Kellan breathed.

“What?” Barden looked at him questioningly. Kellan’s piercing grey eyes studied him from where the man still lay on the wooden floor.

“I’m sorry you had to see that.” Kellan sighed heavily, “Not too many people have witnessed that side of me…when I finally get angry…” His voice trailed off as Ferris returned to the two of them.

“Thank you!” the man cried with tears in his eyes. “I can never repay what you’ve done for me this day.”

“And never will you have to,” Kellan groaned as he climbed back to his feet.

“Will we go back to the base now?” Barden ventured to ask.

“Yes,” Kellan nodded, hearing the real question. “We’ll go back to Spade.”

*****

After changing out of the bloodied clothes of the soldiers, Kellan, Barden, Ferris, and his family set out for the base. Along the way, they met up with Ebony and the reinforcements she’d brought. She reported that Andolyn had been shut up in Spade’s room for hours before she’d arrived, and Ebony hadn’t had the heart to disturb her. No one knew of any change in his condition for the better…or otherwise.

They hurried as much as they could, but the women were exhausted. Eventually, Kellan and Barden took the younger two on their shoulders to speed up the process.

Once they were safely inside the base, Kellan, Barden, and Ebony made their way down the endless hallways to Spade’s room. Andolyn was just shutting the door behind herself as she left for the first time. Her eyes were still reddened, and she was wiping new tears from her eyes.

“Andy?” Barden ran to her, taking the girl by the shoulders.

More tears streaked down her cheeks as she suddenly laughed. She laughed more at the confused glances that were returned to her.

“He’s alive!”

At Andolyn’s words, Barden and Ebony piled through the door. Kellan slid in silently behind him with a quiet smile. After many tearful and overjoyed greetings, Spade demanded every detail of what he had “missed”, and Barden was more than happy to oblige—elaborating his heroics of course.

“…So I broke down the door, grabbed the princess, fought through the guards, and got everyone out of the castle—all while lugging your pitiful self around.”

Kellan cleared his throat in the corner where he stood.

“Oh,” Barden continued, “and Kellan came. To be honest, I’m not sure why. It’s obvious I handled the whole situation.”

Spade knew Barden well enough to decipher his rambling and grasp what had really happened; he looked to Kellan.

“Thank you,” he nodded. Kellan gave a humble nod in reply. Barden went on, not noticing their exchange. He told of how he had used all of his extensive medical knowledge to bring Spade back from near death.

“And that one,” he motioned dramatically to Andolyn who was quietly munching on a sandwich Ebony had made for her while she’d returned to Spade’s side, “acted as though she couldn’t care less if you lived or not. It hurt my soul, really…” Spade took the girl’s hand, smiling at her. It was here that Barden threw himself on Spade. “I was so worried!!” Spade groaned and Barden jumped back up, “SO sorry.”

Spade laughed. Andolyn fought back the tears that tried to sting her eyes again. Barden smiled—not a dramatic, overdone grin, but a real, genuine smile. “I’m glad you’re alright, Buddy.”

*****

The next step was trying to decide what exactly to do next. They couldn’t stay in the Emporium forever. Now that they had a direction, the curiosity would drive them all insane eventually. But Spade wasn’t yet in any condition to leave; almost a week had passed, and Spade still couldn’t walk by himself.

Andolyn carried a plate of lunch to where they thought Spade was asleep. Upon approaching the door, however, Andolyn heard a loud thud, followed by a frustrated groan. She quickly sat the tray down and ran for the door. At the sight of Spade sprawled face down on the wooden floor, she sighed and kneeled to help him.

“It’s been a week!” Spade fumed. Andolyn looped his arm around her shoulder and helped him back to the bed.

“You can’t rush yourself, Anthony,” Spade wasn’t sure what the soft tone in her voice made him feel, but he couldn’t mask the astonished look that crossed his face. Andolyn back-pedaled quickly. “I—I’m sorry; I shouldn’t have called you that.”

“No, it’s fine,” Spade assured her. “It’s just—that’s the first time you’ve called me by my name.” he paused, deep in thought. “Actually, that’s the first time anyone’s called me by my name since...” Andolyn’s eyes darkened.

“What happened?” she ventured to ask. Spade stared out the window.

“Radan happened,” he said darkly. He sighed deeply before continuing. “Long story, much shorter, Radan is only a year older than I am, so we grew up hating each other. Whenever there was a battle against the crown, even as a child, I was right in the middle of it with my parents—those were the days! Kellan and I, we were going to be the next generation of the Underground. He followed that dream, but—”

He paused to answer Andolyn’s questioning look.

“It was just the way we lived. Even as children, Radan and I often met on the battle field. I always managed to gain the upper hand with him. I’ve had many opportunities to kill him, but when it came right down to it, I never could. Not until that day: the day his family caught my parents. I was only eight at the time. They died honorably, but at Radan’s hand. I guess it’s not all his fault; I mean, what family teaches their nine year old son to execute people? But he enjoyed it too much. That was the day everything changed. Lucky for him, I haven’t gotten another opportunity to kill him, but I have managed to be a constant pest, to put it lightly. He outdid me this time; I admit that, and he enjoyed every moment of the time he had me. He would have killed me. I guess he made the mistake of underestimating my new family.” Spade nudged Andolyn’s chin. She smiled, but it didn’t reach her eyes. “He should have known Kellan would come for me; the two of us have been fighting together since I can remember.”

“I never knew my parents,” Andolyn confessed. “They were killed too. I was told it was because of something they did against the crown, but I never knew what. The McNeil’s took me in as a baby, so they’re all I know. I’ve been curious, but my family is good, and I never wanted for anything.”

Spade had to say he was surprised at the dark shading on the girl’s past. With the sunny person she was now, he had always pictured the perfect childhood for her, including her parents.

“Maybe we have more in common than we thought.” Spade glanced at his left arm.

“Maybe,” Andolyn smiled at him. “You want to try that walking thing again?”

With Spade leaning on the princess, the two of them headed off down the infinite hallways of the Emporium.

****
I know that was a long one, but I owed you after all that time =) Well?? what do they do now? wait for Spade to recover? leave for Handunburg now? something else? you decide!

[Midnight]

Woo, new chapter.

Hmm, I say despite being very eager to venture forth they wait at least another week or so to see if Spade improves. If not, then they should all get together and discuss the situation. See if there is some way of getting Spade to tag along or if someone could stay behind and try to catch up later. If possible.

[Andolyn]

thanks Midnight!! any other suggestions?

[Vishal Muralidharan]

Well, as far as DP suggestions go, I don't think so. :/ We can only play a waiting game for now. Perhaps try to find out the meaning of the mark on both Spade's and Andolyn's hands.

Oh, and nice chapter btw! :) Hope to see more (soon :P)

[Tikanni Corazon]

First stop in a major catch-up operation (considering the day before my internet cut out, I did promise I'd read this latest chapter asap)!


Great new chappie, Andi! The idea behind the machine is an interesting one, and I also like that you've gotten this situation going, where it was invented to heal, and is being badly missused by the Prince. Rather than having the machine created by some vile comerade of Radan, you've got this new element in there, of Ferris feeling guilt and regret at his invention, even though it was created through good intention.

And also - bad-ass Kellan! Me likey! ;)


I found two small things. Nothing major, but your writing is always so well edited, I guess it just stood out. It's not necessary to change it, as it's not bad grammar or anything. I just thought I'd mention it, seeing as you're planning on getting this tale published at some point. It is the same thing with both quotes.

Quote: Grateful for the flamboyant hats on the uniforms that provided covering for their faces, Kellan, Barden, and Ferris made their way confidently down to the house where Ferris’s family was being held.

The double use of 'Ferris' in the sentence, though it doesn't sound really bad or anything, is slightly jarring, and would sound better if there was just one. Like I said, it's most certainly not neccesity to remove it, so please do not feel that you have to. But it could possibly be done by removing all three character names, that that first incidence, and changing it to 'the three men', or something. :)

Quote: By some minor adjustments and running the machine at almost triple the intended power, instead of healing, the machine sent currents of electricity and powerful alchemy through the body, reversing the intended purpose of healing and bringing total destruction on the body.

With this one, it's the double use of the word 'healing'. It's a little more jarring than the other, as it just doesn't need to be there at all. It's been explained that the intended purpose of the machine is to heal, so it would still make perfect sense to remove that second 'healing' along with the 'of' of course, and it would make the writing flow better. :)

I only really noticed them because it's what I'm always looking out for when I go over my own chapters (about 6 or 7 times each ;)), because I KNOW that I will have done the exact same thing multiple times throughout. In fact, it's the main thing that I look for, as I know it's my biggest problem. I've never noticed it in your previous chapters though, Andi, so I wouldn't worry about it too much. :)


For the dp, I'm with Vishal. Stay there and bide their time for now, and see how things pan out. They can't risk taking Spade out in his weakened condition, in case they get attacked.

Looking forward to the next one! Keep up the good work! :)

[Andolyn]

thanks, Tika!! i saw those myself actually...but didnt know how to fix it...you did the work for me! lol *runs off to change them in the original* *calls over shoulder*

"GREAT TO HAVE YOU BACK!!!"

[Vikas Muralidharan]

Ah! Finally..

This was a nice new addition to the chapter, An but defenitely not the best. Dont get me wrong, I really really enjoyed it, but to me, there was just something about this chapter that didnt seem right. Maybe its just me-- the fact that I've had an overdose of 1-man-kills-20 recently :P

I just got the feeling that you weren't patient when you wrote this. To me, it was like you posted this hastily because you thought you owe your readers another chapter quickly. I defenitly wouldn't expect you to make the mistake of repetition... you're just too good for that.

Hey, you're a brilliant writer, better than I'll ever be but just my thoughts on that.

Dp? I f5 Vish there... Wait. Thats all we do.

[Andolyn]

aww thanks vikas!! i'll try to do better. ;)

well...if there arent any other suggestions...i'll post the new chappie tonight since you all agree. =)

[misterbiz]

I say march on asap

[Andolyn]

you just goooootta be different...dontcha, Biz? lol

[Lost Omega]

I suggest waiting for Spade to recover. No sense in moving forward if everyone's not 100%.

Great chapter Andy. Can't wait for the next one.

[Andolyn]

thanks, Omega!! i'm glad to have you on board!! =)

[Andolyn]

alright, peoples!! this is perhaps a bit unorthodox, but before we start polling, i'm adding another facet to this DP.

either we'll be waiting another week or we leave now...either way, we're leaving...but which way do we go? should we try the main roads? they'll be heavily guarded with troops going to do Radan's bidding, but they'll be the easiest road. do we take the high mountain route? this time of year, it will be snow covered and possibly treacherous, but it's a local secret, and Radan doesn't even know of its existence, so it will be completely unguarded. another path? you choose!!

[Lilith]

Well... for some reason, I've got this feeling time is of the essence. So... build some sort of a harness or something that can drag on the ground for Spade, but let him try riding a horse himself first (I'm assuming that Ebony has horses somewhere. Or steal some from the outpost that Ferris's family was rescued from) and attach the sleigh/harness to the horse's saddles. That way when Spade can't sit up anymore, he can rest and still be transported, while no body loses any time.

Edits to add: Take the mountain pass. No more risking people to Radan's hands.

Hope this helps!

[Vikas Muralidharan]

Mountain Pass. Not willing to run into Radan's hands again.. especially after what just happened.

[Andolyn]

polling!!!

[Lilith]

Ooops. I voted and caused a three-way tie. Sowwy!

[Vishal Muralidharan]

Broken :cool:

[Andolyn]

Soon August had faded into a cooler September, and it was time for the heroes to set out again. Spade could now walk with only the assistance of a cane that Kellan had fashioned for him out of silver the thief managed to somehow smuggle from the castle. Andolyn guessed he must have stashed it before the battle, though she wasn’t sure how he would have gotten it out. But then, he was a magician after all.

Handunburg was almost exactly the same distance from the Emporium as the meadow where the trio first met, only in such a direction as to form a triangle between the three points. This road, however, would take far longer given that the only undetectable pass between Darbinshire and Handunburg was through the mountains. This time of year, they would already be covered in thick layers of snow. This meant that the travelers had to raid some of the thousands of closets in the Emporium to find proper clothing for such a journey.

Ebony took care of clothing and food supplies for the group, and Kellan ensured that each of them was properly armed—Spade with two new decks of his deadly cards, Barden with the finest broadsword that had ever been made in Ardara, and Andolyn with several small daggers of her own. Ebony supplied Andolyn’s true weapon of choice with a new bow and a quiver of arrows.

When the sun had set and the time came for them to leave, Ebony embraced each of them and made them promise to take care of each other. Kellan lingered near the princess; after a few moments, he produced a young hawk from behind his back.

“Should you ever need me, Milady,” his voice was tender and shy. “She’ll know where to find me.” Kellan placed the hawk in a basket that was fashioned into a saddle bag. He lifted Andolyn gently on to her horse and kissed her graceful hand before bowing low and taking a few steps back. He nodded respectfully to Barden and Spade. “Take care of her.”

“You saw what she did to Radan,” Barden laughed, “I think she might have to take care of us!”

~~~~~~

“It feels strange,” Andolyn said absently several hours into their journey, “being just the three of us again.”

“Yeah,” Barden agreed, “I’ll miss them.”

“You said that like we’ll never see them again,” laughed Spade. Barden frowned deeply then looked at Spade meaningfully. Spade looked down at his saddle thoughtfully. It was very possible they wouldn’t see Ebony and Kellan again; their last encounter with the prince had made that painfully clear. He only hoped the two of them would be able to remain hidden after all the help they gave so freely to the refugees. At least Kellan had thought to hide his identity when he had entered the castle. If the Prince knew he was involved again, he wouldn’t rest until Kellan was found.

“Snow!!” Andolyn’s excited shriek brought both men back to the road. Sure enough, a heavy snowfall had begun. They were getting nearer to the incline of the mountains, and that meant colder country.

Andolyn jumped from her horse when the snow grew deeper and twirled with her hands in the air, catching the pure flakes on her tongue and eyelashes. Barden and Spade paused to smile at the girl’s innocence. Giggling, she climbed back on her horse.

“Sorry,” she blushed, “I’ve always loved the snow.” Her companions only smiled as they pulled on in front of her and up the mountain trail.

Now it was Andolyn’s turn to be surprised. The two strong young men in front of her were somehow different in the fresh snowfall as well. Barden’s raven hair was peppered with the pure flakes that shown vividly in bright contrast. His sapphire eyes scanned the road in front of them for the safest trail. His strong body itself was a contrast to the delicate scene. Andolyn saw him as her bold, valiant, knight, protecting her from whatever came to face them.

Spade, on the other hand, was still very weak from his recent injuries, and shivered slightly in the cold, but his eyes and his resolve were as strong as ever. He would go to death’s door and beyond to help Andolyn; he had recently proved that. To the princess’s eyes, the snow swirling around his head—which he held high despite the cold—made Anthony Jenkins appear as a kingly force, not to be lightly reckoned with.

~~~~~

As the night wore on, the group travelled higher on the mountain, and the beautiful snow turned to ice that stung their eyes and cheeks. Andolyn wasn’t sure how much more she could take, but she knew that they had to at least find a place with shelter before they stopped.

Barden went on tireless as ever, but he watched the young girl behind him and the man to his right very carefully for signs of exhaustion. He knew they were both wearing down quickly, but they would freeze to death without some form of cover from the wind and ice.

“Barden!” Though the thief was yelling, his voice was barely audible over the howling wind. Barden glanced over to see Spade hunched over in his saddle struggling to hang on with fingers that had long ago lost feeling. The thief, however, was looking behind him. “Barden, we have to stop! She can’t take this!”

There was Andolyn, laid almost flat against her horse; her blonde hair, now full of ice, whipped wildly in the bitter wind. He couldn’t see the girl’s face, but he guessed she was no longer conscious. Slowing to where he was directly beside her, Barden lifted the limp-bodied girl and cradled her in his strong arms. Her teeth chattered violently behind her blue lips, and the ice had gathered in her eyelashes creating a picture that Barden didn’t particularly like.

“We have to find shelter! We’ll freeze out here!” Barden called back to Spade. Leading Andolyn’s horse, the two men pushed on as quickly as the snow drifts and their horses’ faltering strength would allow.

Nearly a mile later, Spade could take no more. Without a sound, the thief slid to the frozen ground. Barden stopped short and ran to his friend, leaving Andolyn lying against the horse’s neck. When he reached Spade, the snow was already burying the young man who lay face down in the road. Turning him over, Barden found Spade looking similarly to the princess.

“No, no, no, No, NO!” Barden screamed into the night, “C’mon, Spade! I almost lost you once; I will not do it again!” He lifted Spade and draped him back over the saddle of his horse. Huffing, he returned to his own horse and mounted behind the princess. He pulled Andolyn to his chest and wrapped her in his own coat, then leading both horses, he pressed on into the freezing night.

*****

Uh-Oh!! what does Barden do now??

[Lilith]

Your only chance to find a hollowed out portion in a hill or even a cave (without a bear in). You can't throw the young hawk into this weather; it won't be able to see darn thing from the way the wind is blowing. And quickly. Tissue damage is a definite possibility in this sort of situation as well as the loss of limbs/appendages.

Short but good chapter Andi!

[Tikanni Corazon]

Hey Andi! :)


As Lil has already said, it's a rather short chapter, but still it's a good one, and you're not lacking in description or quality despite the length. I did love the parting between Andolyn and Kellan, it was very sweet and gives us a peek into the feelings that are growning between them. I also love hearing more about Kellan as the story goes on, and putting together in my mind this strong, capable man, mixed with a sweet, shy personality. And the gift of the hawk was a nice touch. I have to say though, I hope our trio don't have much running to do. That poor little hawk will be rather ruffled when they reach their destination otherwise, buffeted around during a gallop. ;) And of course, I still love Barden, and he remains my favourite of your characters.


I found one thing that caught my eye (and it has nothing to do with your grammar and editing, which are brilliant as usual ;))...

Quote: Slowing to where he was directly beside her, Barden lifted the lifeless girl and cradled her in his strong arms.

The description of Andolyn being 'lifeless' is more suited to one who is showing no signs of life. As you go on to say, she's showing signs of still being very much alive in the following sentence, so maybe the sentence could be adapted slightly. Maybe to say 'almost lifeless' or possibly something like...

Slowing to where he was directly beside her, Barden lifted the girl and cradled her against him, her form feeling almost lifeless in his arms.

...This isn't necessity, so don't feel that you have to change it. It's merely based around my own opinion, and doesn't necessarily mirror that of anyone else. It's just an idea I thought I'd mention is all. :)


As for the dp...What can Barden do, but press on and seek out shelter? I guess he could try digging down into the snow, and attempt to create a hollow beneath it, as I've heard that such a thing actually makes a pretty good shelter, as it's not as cold as one would imagine. But would Barden have time to do that? Even though it might take a while, so might finding a cave to shelter in instead. It's an idea anyway. :)


Another fab chappie, Andi! Keep up the good work! :)

[Andolyn]

thanks, girls!! always good to have you along. =)

and thanks, Tika! very good suggestion! i'll look into it. ;)

[Vikas Muralidharan]

Great addition to the story An!

Very short chapter, which works for me, and there wasn't any lack of description which is great. Now does Kellan have feelings for our princess? Oh dear... Not what I expected.

The writing was great, though I almost got a heart attack when I saw this:


Andolyn wrote: Slowing to where he was directly beside her, Barden lifted the lifeless girl and cradled her in his strong arms

I thought she died. Seriously. Though the next sentence does clear up what you meant, it was kinda weird reading that.

As for the DP, I cant see him do anything except look for shelter. and If he cant and has to make the painful choice of leaving on behind after calling for help, he'd probably try to save his best friend Spade first..

Cant wait for the next edition!

[Andolyn]

fixed it!! =)

thanks for the pointer, guys!

[Vishal Muralidharan]

Wonderful chapter, but I don't think we have much of a choice with the DP. Find shelter ASAP.

[Andolyn]

aaaand we're polling!!