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PilgrimSoul
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 Posted: Thu Sep 02, 2010 5:33 am Post subject: Unsung: Chapter One, "A Tragic Accident" |
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Introduction.
I write this, knowing I have little time to live, so that some record of me will survive. My life did not change the world. I will not be remembered by many people, well or badly. I did not serve as an example of great ambition or persoanl triumph, or even reach my own ambitions of success and comfort. But for this I make no appology. I see, now that death confronts me, that the measure of a life is not in the impact one makes, or even being cared for by your fellow man, but by the extent one may reconcile their life to their own conscience. I have nothing to reconcile, forgive, or regret. There is nothing about my life I would change, even the path that led me to this tragedy. In this I am fortunate, to be at peace with myself in my final hour.
Vivianne Benoit
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Last edited by PilgrimSoul on Mon Oct 04, 2010 2:59 pm; edited 2 times in total
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Vishal Muralidharan
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| Posted: Mon Sep 13, 2010 9:29 pm Post subject: |
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Definitely a good intro, but seriously i have no idea what's going on.
| Quote: | | that the measure of a life is not in the impact one makes, or even being cared for by your fellow man, but by the extent one may reconcile their life to their own conscience. |
That's what i meant. I can't understand, but the writing is good and i think i can wait for the next chapter...
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PilgrimSoul
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| Posted: Tue Sep 14, 2010 10:52 am Post subject: |
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Yeah, I've had this up for a while without really starting it. My priority right now is "Murder Most Foul", but after I've got the next chapter for that up I'll focus on this.
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In every leaf, in every spring, there is a different green." -Tolkien
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PilgrimSoul
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| Posted: Fri Oct 01, 2010 7:45 pm Post subject: |
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Chapter One: A Tragic Accident.
The minute Dr. Victor Hudson stepped off the bus, he regretted accepting his assignment. He'd never been to Egypt before, and all the romantic visions of crumbling temples, great pyramids, and the Nile at sunset he'd built up hadn't prepared him for the reality of the place. There was just so much sand, that was his chief complaint; sand that stretched out as far as the eye could see, only an occasional bump to break the monotony. He hadn't even seen the Nile yet.
As the rusty pile of wheels and metal pulled away from the station, Victor wished with all his heart he was back at the dig in Italy. Sure, the work had been hard, and they hadn't found nearly as much as they hoped, but at least the scenery was better, and that nice Grandmotherly woman from the village had brought them sandwiches and listened to their talk of America as if it were heaven itself. Why did Nina have to catch some obscure disease and ask him to step in? And why did she have to bring up getting him through statistics in college? Old friend or not, Victor believed that 15 years was past the statute of limitations for calling in a favor.
Still, Victor was an Archaeologist, and being the new head of Nina's expedition was nothing to sneeze at, not after his track record over the past few years. He half suspected that Nina may have exaggerated her condition, just to get him working again; she'd always been a kind-hearted woman, in a sneaky, manipulative way.
Victor was brooding over all this when an short, light-haired man with spectacles ran up to him. he hesitated briefly though, before actually speaking to him, like a child who had to tell the principal why he was sent to the office.
"Dr. Hudson?" He asked, scarcely above a whisper.
"Yes, that's me. I take it you're with the dig?"
The man ignored Victor's offered hand, not noticing it in his agitation.
"I am, my name's Colby. I'm a philologist. I was sent to pick you up and...explain, before you arrived."
Victor felt a sinking sensation in his stomach.
"Has something happened to Dr. Green?"
"Nina? Oh, no. She's as fine as she can be, under the circumstances; but it's true that something rather tragic has happened."
Colby opened his mouth and shut it several times. He seemed to be struggling to find the words. Finally, he began speaking rapidly, as if trying to make up for lost time.
"You see Dr. Hudson, apart from the diggings, there's also a cave about a mile from the main site we've been excavating, very unusual for this area. We aren't entirely sure it's a natural cave, parts of it seem to have been enhanced, but that's really not important right now. One of our Grad Students, a miss Benoit from France, she was in the cave by herself this morning, examining some hieroglyphics we've found. Students aren't' supposed to go there alone, it's a highly unstable structure, but, well, we don't' know how it happened, but it seems there was a cave-in."
Colby stopped, more to catch his breath then end his narrative. Victor attempted to help out.
"You're telling me this Miss Benoit was injured?" he promted
Colby looked stricken.
"She's dead." He said.
Victor closed his eyes and shook his head in sympathy.
"I am so sorry to hear that Dr. Colby."
"It shouldn't have happened." Colby responded, looking as if he might burst into tears.
"I take it then that work while be postponed till after the funeral?" Victor said as gently as he could.
Colby's face reddened. "Well, that's really one of the problems we're having. you see, it only happened a few hours ago, and we haven't exactly found her body yet. The local police are still looking around and whatnot, they haven't given the go ahead to, um, recover, miss Benoit. The reason everyone sent me is really to forestall you going to the dig. Everyone would like to wait till the matter is cleared up completely before you step in, I think they almost resent an outsider popping up at this point. I could take you to the hotel, expenses paid of course, and come back for you in a day or two. Although, if you'd rather get to the dig, and don't mind seeing us all at our worst;"
Colby spread his hands to show he was deferring to Victor. "You are in charge after all Dr. Hudson, it's your choice."
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"For still there are so many things that I have never seen.
In every leaf, in every spring, there is a different green." -Tolkien
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Vishal Muralidharan
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| Posted: Fri Oct 01, 2010 8:43 pm Post subject: |
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It doesn't look like a great DP to me, but i gather there is a chance that the options will lead to different circumstances, other than unhappy or happy co-workers.
Anyway, considering that it is his first time in Egypt, I think he should take the hotel, since the expenses are being taken care off. I myself am itching to find out what happened, but I don't think that Victor should be bothered. Well, he should be caring, but if his job is to conduct the dig, Im sure he'd want to make a good impression on his co-workers.
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PilgrimSoul
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| Posted: Fri Oct 01, 2010 8:51 pm Post subject: |
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Yep, the consequences are more than they appear to be. Of course I'll take alternative suggestions than going or staying.
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In every leaf, in every spring, there is a different green." -Tolkien
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Masterweaver
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| Posted: Sat Oct 02, 2010 4:36 am Post subject: |
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| Hmmm. I would think that standing outside the accident site and not saying anything--being a "random civilian," not an interloper, would probably be a safer and more productive use of the doc's time.
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PilgrimSoul
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| Posted: Sat Oct 02, 2010 6:21 am Post subject: |
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Good point, he could show up without revealing who he is, I hadn't thought of that.
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Vishal Muralidharan
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| Posted: Sat Oct 02, 2010 9:01 pm Post subject: |
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Hmm... but don't you think that everyone around would notice him...??? I say this because he is probably an American and his skin color would be very differnt from that of Egyptians...
Even if he pretends to be just a visitor, people would notice him AND recognize him when he walks up to them later and tells them who he is.
It doesn't sound like a great idea to me, i think he could probably get someone to report to him on what's happening, if he must know. He could try Colby, but he doesn't strike me as exactly brave.
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PilgrimSoul
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| Posted: Sat Oct 02, 2010 9:27 pm Post subject: |
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Oh, spying, another idea I hadn't thought of. Alternatively, he just send instructions to the people at the dig to give him an official report of what's going on.
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In every leaf, in every spring, there is a different green." -Tolkien
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Vishal Muralidharan
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| Posted: Sun Oct 03, 2010 8:30 am Post subject: |
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Wait up!
So the people at the dig can know he has arrived, but he shouldn't get there?! That doesn't make sense.
If the people at the dig don't know that he has arrived and Colby knows, then Colby would have to be one of the top dogs there, or a very good spy. Either way, he would make for a great person to be with as of now.
If the people at the dig do know that he has arrived, then I don't see any reason why they wouldn't want him there. Or any real significance to the DP.
You might want to plan your DP for the next chapter. A good DP would generate more debate, which will lead to a increased reading of your work. That could also get you running for a IFY award !!!!!
Since i don't know what's going on I just posted 2 scenarios. You can tell me which one is actually true.
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PilgrimSoul
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| Posted: Sun Oct 03, 2010 10:45 am Post subject: |
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The basic idea is that the people at the dig don't want a new person coming in and throwing his weight around while they're dealing with a death. Victor might want to establish himself as the new top guy anyway, or he may want to leave them their grieving space. he could also poke around without revealing who he is at first, if he's that curious, or he could have Colby report to him on what's going on.
That's what I've got so far, any final add-on before I start the voting?
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| Posted: Sun Oct 03, 2010 12:20 pm Post subject: |
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I like MW's idea. Go in close to the site, as a civilian or at least a tourist. Start asking some questions from some of the workers. Start getting some of the rumors that might be going on around the area. Something tells me he needs a third angle that he wouldn't get if he were on the inside or simply stayed out. An inriguing start... sorry I hadn't caught up to it until now.
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 CHAPTER 25: Near-Light Speed (NEW CHAPTER! (12/4/2011))
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| Posted: Mon Oct 04, 2010 3:00 pm Post subject: |
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The voting options are up, I'll leave them till next week.
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| Posted: Wed Oct 06, 2010 1:18 am Post subject: |
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I think that's all!
So when's the next chap????
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| Posted: Tue Oct 12, 2010 11:33 am Post subject: |
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I'm sorry to have missed this - and I missed the poll too!
Probably a good job, because I would have voted presenting himself as a tourist, which would have tieid up the results.
It's an intriguing one, this one, especially in the light of the prologue, and all.
Looking forward to finding out what happens next. 
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| Posted: Wed Oct 13, 2010 1:46 am Post subject: |
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I missed it to didn't I?
anyway..... godd story....Am waiting for the next part...
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| Posted: Sat May 07, 2011 8:06 am Post subject: |
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Good story, if you want some more information on your subject of the matter your writing about. I'm happy to give you some ideas!
Unfortunantly I have never been to a funeral or wedding... one day then I'll get to see one myself.
I should say... You can always explain the reason of the death and what importance this woman had to the docter.
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| Posted: Sun May 22, 2011 2:30 am Post subject: Poke |
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*Poookes* Just a little nudge! People want more!
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| Posted: Fri Jul 08, 2011 11:18 am Post subject: |
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Looks like I missed the DP, but I'm definatly interested! Waiting for more...
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| Posted: Wed Feb 22, 2012 7:02 am Post subject: |
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Drats, I missed the suggestion phase and the voting phase.
There might have been some police reports on the local news casting station on television or on the radio.
Either way, very nice work.
Sorry I haven't read it sooner, I really only read this one because it seems fairly early in it's life being the first chapter and all.
Looking forward to the next chapter whenever that might come out. I hope it's as good as the first one, no pressure if it isn't though.
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