Mallet of PollDoom

From IFki

Much has been told of the Mallet of PollDoom and its forging in the second age of InterFable, for it was the one Mallet and much of the power of its maker was bound up in it.

In that age of innocence and friendship, the Great Mayor made many mallets.

Three he offered to the fair races of Storygame Moderators. Their markings were intricate and they defended each land against the scourge of the never-ending story-poll.

Seven he offered to the leaders of the General Forums. They were made of precious metals, with gems encrusted into the handles. Ensnared by their love of wealth, the Street Moderators grabbed the mallets and promptly melted them down for a quick buck.

Nine he offered to the Storygame of the Month nominees. Won over by the sparkly metals and the interesting ‘boioioioing’ noise made when they used their mallets to hit each other over the head, they took what they did not understand… and so were lost.

As each moderator was distracted by his own artefact, the Great Mayor secretly crafted the one Mallet. The Mallet of PollDoom, which is said to hold legendary powers, and which (it is rumoured) he carries, tucked into the waistband of the Mayoral trousers, where none but the bravest and most insane citizens would dare to seek.

The famed artefact is a hammer of blood-red metal which seems to suck light into it and clouds the mind with the corruption of absolute power. Runes are inscribed into its handle, etched with gold. For the few that can read them, they state:

One mallet to rule them all
One mallet to smash them
One mallet to quell the Mods
And if unruly, bash them

RECENT ALERT: It seems that Chinaren Inc. has been making minature mallets of PollDoom and distributing them freely on the city streets. Some wonder at how Chinaren Inc. could do such a thing, and some conject that Chinaren has indeed has his heart ripped out...See the latest episode of 'Revenge of Bob' by IM Inc for further details on the absent morality of Chinaren.